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musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

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I like that every time I tell my coworkers to take a knife and murder me, each and every one says “oooo sorry buddy. no can do”

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I wear green hoodie in hopes to be like the baron and unemployed villager but by god has it not worked

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Guys can I have a little drawing, please? I just need a barbed devil that looks a little cute, not sexualized or a baby. Just a little feminine and kinda cute.

I just need a little scribble drawing to prove to my DM that the barbed devil my friend rizzed up was a little cute.

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Me thinks me no thinks therefore me am however me am not

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9/10 loaf. Solid tuck

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7/10 loaf. Could use a little more shaping but nice color

handsome lad

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Wait I need to tell the show-only fans that in the source material the season one arc ended with Klaus being the deus ex machina: he pretends to be possessed by Reginald's ghost, and berates/manipulates Viktor into having a breakdown. Causing Viktor to stop playing his violin and allowing Five to incapacitate him. Then when chunks of the moon are about to hit the Earth, Klaus is able to stop them with his telekinesis, averting the apocalypse entirely.

Like if nothing else I NEED you guys to know that there were canon-supported better options than what the show went with plot wise. They absolutely could have saved the world the first time around. Sorry to be the 'please read comics' advocate but if you want ideas for your fix-it fics...

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Armand and Louis torture themselves and that’s probably part of why they stayed together so long.

Meanwhile Lestat is here for a good long time to be a frilly little creature, that’s all

Armand: skin-melting hot showers, "the pain must be exquisite"-ass vampire

Louis: penitent cold showers, time to wallow in peace without being told to cheer up

Lestat: hours-long bubble baths. the tub is coated with glitter when he's done

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Lestat de Lioncourt will languish in a blighted, dilapidated house for 70 years but he's still got that iPad with 5G internet speed so that he can use Siri

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People have become so poetic about using the word “ate”

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Thankfully he’s not the Victorian peasant boy everyone says would be put into a coma by sour patch kids and beat drops

imagine being edwin payne and going to hell in 1916, then escaping hell and coming back to earth in the late 80s. the technology and culture shock would be fucking insane. like we joke a lot (rightfully) about his lack of understanding in the internet, but what about the instant shift he had to have made from occasionally getting to listen to classical music through a pre-radio gramophone, to hearing bass-boosted synth-heavy new wave pop blasting from nightclub speakers on every other london street corner? electrical appliances were basically just barely being introduced to the average home in the 1910s, then suddenly edwin has to wrap his head around every house having a refrigerator, a washing machine, a dryer, a microwave, a television– let alone what all this stuff is and what they all do. and let’s not even get started on social progress– women having rights, men on magazine covers wearing flashy makeup, legitimate interracial marriages existing, etc etc etc.

all this to say; he’s doing pretty good for someone that had to try and catch up on 70 years of technological and societal progress– not quite getting what the internet is yet seems pretty understandable in the scheme of things.

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Exactly! So what if they’re all assholes some of them also serve cunt and struggle. It’s not my fault that’s what bewitched me.

love iwtv because im on no-ones side and im also on everyones side. like yeah my girlfriend (in reference to all characters at once) did fucked up things but no she didnt. also she shouldve done more fucked up things. also like it wasnt even her fault so back off. also i hate her.

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Armand is such a great character because he spent his life loving and or worshipping leaders. He fell in love with Lestat who controls the rooms he walks through and Louis who was a pimp and tends to live as he pleases (well, after Lestat). Then he worshipped his maker and the coven leaders, did as he was told.

What’s interesting is that he hates Claudia. I think he hates her because she does what he does which is that she looks for who she is through how others, and especially leaders, see her. Only difference is what Armand envy’s her for, her ability to see what she deserves and ask to be seen differently whether it be legitimately asking or working towards what she deserves. She still has an aspect that she demands from her leader but Armand doesn’t know what he deserves. He doesn’t know what to demand and that’s scary especially when someone else (so young) has it figured out.

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daniel: are you schizophrenic louis?

louis:

dreamstat in the corner: say no mon cher

louis: no :)

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what i say: i'm fine

what i mean: armand searches for a purpose every single day of his life. he makes a point to exercise control in every aspect of what he does. the same control in which he had taken away from him way too young. he needs someone to see him & tell him that what he is doing is good. his heart is begging someone to take him & love him in the only way he had been taught how to love. he wants to have a name of importance which is just one of many he had been given not of his own volition. but he is unsure if he can remember the original which is tethered to the rest. he is exhausted. he is tired. but he always endures. he always has.

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This is legit one of the funniest things I've ever seen 🤣