hello-sapphic-mess-here - Tumblr blog

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similar topic but it's so funny to me when people are like "you can't ship these people one of them is the other's father figure!" as if wanting to fuck a father figure isn't the only joy left in this life

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IM SO SICK OF YOU ALL

No nuance allowed. please share for a bigger sample 💕💕💕💕💕

*by eat i mean how do you prefer your cereal.

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Screaming Meals and Reductress headlines

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pato o'ward | indy 500 open test 2024

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adrian newey opening his messages from james vowels tonight

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and what will ferrari do when the spirit of hewlett-packard takes control and refuses to let the drivers turn the steering wheel because the car has definitely 100% run out of fuel even though you replaced the fuel this morning what are you talking about now it's saying that's not a legal hewlett-packard exchange piece why are you doing this to me i just want to print my fucking essay for the one teacher in this department who doesn't understand how the internet works why is this so difficult you are just a printer? what then?

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good morninge !

it is wrongdoinge wednesday !

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F1 x The Internet [Pt 11/?]

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what is verstappen is it an exotic brand of liquor

hes a formula 1 driver that can merge his soul with the car and feel the fuel flow in his bone marrow and make turns so inch perfect youd think him and every track go way back and forever forward

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galex + txt posts = true 4.0

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are you devoted to anything?

yes, developing health code violations in my refrigerator

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BROCEDES! ROOMMATE AU + UNEXPECTED VIRGIN!

‘Take a shot if your body count is more than 5!’

Most of the crowd drinks, even those with obviously shifty eyes and guilty demeanours. Lewis drinks.

He was coursemates with Adrian the previous semester and had to hear his bitching and moaning about the bitches he gets – the lack thereof, spots him drinking too. Nico’s standing at the end of the couch, expensive loafers careful to step around the sticky spilled beer.

He nurses his red solo cup, untouched. Lewis frowns.

‘Take a shot if your body count is double digits!’

Fewer people drink this time. The crowd goes ‘ooh’ at the ones who do. Technically, Lewis’ is 7 – 8 if you count the blowjob and her getting her period at the last second, opting out. But college athletes have a reputation to maintain, so Lewis finishes off his cup.

This time, Nico is watching him. Smiles when their eyes meet and does a mock salute, lips still not grazing his drink.

What the fuck? What could it be? It bothers Lewis that Nico’s not being honest. He's seen Nico half-lidded hanging off some guy’s arm at a party or cuddled into some girl to know better. Although, since Nico has access to all the population instead of 50%, it would make sense if his count is twice as high.

A pretty girl in a low cut top and blonde highlights taps Lewis on the arm to dance with her, and all thoughts of his roommate and how many people he fucks are forgotten.

A few hours later, the party has died down. Cold pizza and the music is less in-your-face, more indie. A small group gather on the floor playing the laziest truth or dare with a half empty bottle of Bacardi. The guy beside Nico is in an obnoxious leather jacket and tight pants, and his hand rests on Nico’s thigh.

It falls on Lewis.

“So… Lew-iss,” Natalie? maybe asks, voice slurring a little. “Do you remember when you first met Nico?”

Nico raises an interested eyebrow. Of course he remembers. However, Lewis is aware they asked the question because people think him and Nico are secretly hooking up because they live together, and since Nico’s seen with everyone. His teammate Felipe and his girlfriend are within earshot.

“Nah, man. I don't remember shit like that. I remember when I like, lost my virginity.” Lewis offers as bait.

Nico frowns, it's cute on him. Brows wrinkled up.

Naomi(!) bites. “Tell us about how you lost your virginity.”

“That's two questions.” Lewis leans back, flashing his most charming gap-toothed smile. Everyone's too drunk to keep track of whose turn it is.

Nico disappears off with Mr. Skinny Jeans.

It's a little while later when Lewis has smoked a spliff to clear his head, rejecting the blonde highlights girl’s offer back to her dorms which is on the other side of campus, when Nico returns, hair mussed and shirt buttoned more than it was when he left.

“Home?” He asks. Lewis follows.

Nico’s a pretty chill roommate. He grew up with a silver spoon and an only child, so he has no concept of sharing. Instead, when he orders Thai, he makes sure to order for two so that Lewis doesn't try to eat any of his dumplings. Lewis gets to have the flat to himself a lot since Nico disappears for the night, returns at early hours of the night with glitter on his cheek or bite marks on his neck and a cheeky smile before collapsing on the couch. Lewis can't complain, it makes bringing girls over easier. And when Nico is studying, he keeps to himself. Lewis will know, because there will be an extra coffee for him. In turn, Lewis gets rids of the bugs in the flat – the first time Nico seeing a cockroach asking if they should call pest control or sue their landlord for unhygienic living conditions.

“Why didn't you drink? At the body count question?” Lewis asks, breaking the amiable silence of their walk home, and the lack of filter signalling he was drunker than he thought.

Nico hums thoughtfully. “Cause that would be a lie?”

Lewis tries to make sense of that, doing math in his head. “No…? It wasn't about the exact number, just if it's more than.”

“Yeah,” Nico smiles, unlocking the door and stepping side. “That would be a lie.”

Lewis rolls his eyes. Nico and his riddles and his games. “It would only be a lie if you're a virgin. Which you're not.” He snorts at the thought.

Nico’s eyes flash dangerously. “Yeah?” Nico turns around, effectively trapping Lewis between the door. “You think about who gets in my pants a lot, Hamilton?”

Lewis feels a flush rise in his neck. Thank god for melanin, if he were Nico he'd have two giant red spots on his cheek right now.

“I don't care who you sleep with. Or don't sleep with.” Lewis tries to go for gruff, chill, but it doesn't quite land. He gets out of Nico’s cornering, going to the couch. “It's just weird you’d lie considering Jenson–”

“Oh if Jenson said it, it must be true.” Nico’s sarcasm is shrill and annoyed, betraying how drunk he is.

It does make Lewis pause. Jenson has a habit of embellishing stories of his conquests. The fated twins threesome never happened, he had separately hooked up with twins. Lewis remembers Jenson bragging in the locker room how he rocked Britney’s world and Lewis had worn his his shin guards with a little more force than necessary.

“Rock my world?” Nico rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall. “Hardly. We made out for forty minutes until he came in his pants.”

TMI because now Lewis is inundated of images of Nico, mouth swollen and bodies entangled while fully clothed.

“So you're actually a virgin? What about all those people?” Lewis is still trying to wrap his head around it. Nico is the most sexual person he knows. He eats yoghurt off the spoon distractingly, and has no shame walking around the apartment naked. Very sexual liberation chic, and Lewis had to draw up boxers boundaries.

Nico wrinkles his nose. “So you get with the easiest lay on campus and you're the only person he won't fuck. Do you want to admit something's weird and wrong with you, or do you just go about inferring you had sex? It's not like I'm going to correct them.” He must see something on Lewis’ face because he interjects, defensively offensive, “Don't ask why it's better to have a reputation. I know your tells. You drank twice.”

Lewis chooses his words carefully, gentle like he's not trying to spook a wild cat. “I'm not judging. I'm just surprised. Nobody figured it out?”

Nico softens at the tone. He sinks on the couch beside Lewis. “Honestly, you're the first person to notice.”

Lewis finds that sad. “Hey, we don't need to talk about this if it's a sensitive topic. I'm sorry I –”

“Jeez, Lewis. I don't have trauma, I'm just frigid. A pricktease. Nothing bad ever happens to a Rosberg.” Nico works on the complicated laces of his boots. He hates being pitied.

Lewis leans over. “It's really not all that cracked up to be. The first time, at least. Cause you're bad at it and you don't know how to pace yourself. Lots of people wait until they're ready. My first time, it was this girl I was seeing after GCSEs. We couldn't find a place so we got in my dad’s old Subaru. Lasted like 30 seconds. Wiped the whole place down but I was convinced he would know somehow. Come Sunday, I went and told him. He hadn’t the slightest clue. So that was an awkward drive to church.”

Nico gawks him, crumpling into himself laughing. Lewis regrets being a vulnerable and oversharer of a drunk. Nico’s gelled hair has come undone from hours of partying and falls over his eyes. Lewis is never going to open up to anyone ever again.

“On God's day, Lewis?! And you think I should save myself until marriage? Find myself a nice, righteous wife?”

“Someone you trust. Someone you're into.” The room spins a little. Nico Rosberg is a virgin.

“Someone who’d remember when we first met?” Nico challenges. "That's not very nice, is it? I can't believe you forgot--"

“You were checking out an encyclopaedia on space at the library. I wanted the Senna autobiography. We were 12.”

Nico’s eyes go wide. Lewis holds his gaze.

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i'll talk until your ears fall off and then i'll talk some more

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he’s still learning italian 😔 ( @12romy thank you so much for the ask and kind message!!)

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he really is giving Nico here

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for the let's get personal ask thing:

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

thanks for the ask!

let's get personal ask game

1. six songs i listen to the most:

what you know - two door cinema club

la noia - angelina mango

luglio - ricardo del turco

the adults are talking - the strokes

super trouper - abba

skauģu dziesmiņa - nora bumbiere, viktors lapčenoks

21. celebrity crush - liam lawson, oscar piastri, michelle gatting and sarah bovy <3

24. do i have a collection of anything - weird thrifted dresses👗 and candy i've bought when travelling(i buy faster than i can eat lol)

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lets get personal.

lets get personal.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

7: What’s your strangest talent?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

13: What’s your religion?

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

17: What was the last lie you told?

18: Do you believe in karma?

19: What does your URL mean?

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

23: How do you vent your anger?

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

36: Define Art.

37: Do you believe in luck?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

39: What time is it?

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

41: What was the last book you read?

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

43: Do you have any nicknames?

44: What was the last film you saw?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

50: Do you believe in magic?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

52: What is your astrological sign?

53: Do you save money or spend it?

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

55: Love or lust?

56: In a relationship?

57: How many relationships have you had?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

59: Where were you yesterday?

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

62: What’s your favourite animal?

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

64: Where is your best friend?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

77: How can I win your heart?

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

80: What size shoes do you wear?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

82: What is your favourite word?

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

87: What is your current desktop picture?

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

98: Ever been on a plane?

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

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