hellspawnmotel

[hellspawnmotel]

enjoy tenna

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I love the ralseis you did, especially the ones you made after the valentines newsletter. Hope we get to see more of him from you.

I'm on vacation right now but when I get home there's something with ralsei I really want to draw

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do you have any personal thoughts on what exactly is it that drives the player to do a snowgrave route? or do you think we're not supposed to know yet..? like you know how in undertale the genocide route is mostly about curiosity and using the player's completionist mentality agaisnt them, i feel like snowgrave has something to do with the prophecy but we cant know for sure yet, do you think snowgrave would be more about playing with people's feelings or something like that ? sorta like, "I like noelle so i'll spend more time with her and make her strong" "i dont like berdly so i'll play the route where he dies" or maybe literally just "I love when stories make me feel awful so that's why i'll play the Mean route" LMAO since i think thats common in ppl who like to discuss the route

it’s interesting, I think it’s something we don’t really have enough information to know yet. I think it depends on the nature of the soul and how it got to this world, what put it here and why. I think…. the holiday family is kind of the center of everything, and noelle is the only member of it who’s like, available? rudy’s in the hospital and carol & dess are already fully involved, but noelle was still innocent and ignorant, and healthy. so to that end I don’t think it’s necessarily about who noelle is as a person, it’s because she has access to this power. the ability to break the game.

the thing that keeps getting brought up in chapter 3 is “freedom”. you want to play your own way and do whatever you want. youre enjoying the youthful days. it’s fun. I think the mechanics of the weird route are in direct conversation with the geno route and how people have reacted and gotten used to it over the years, and turned it from like a dark secret to half the conversation around undertale. so it’s asking “how far are you willing to go in order to achieve that same ‘freedom?’ we already know you’re willing to kill all these sweet and fun characters, you want that same thing again, but what if the only avenue to get there was through the slow psychological destruction of an innocent girl? would you be willing to do these terrible things to her? would you be willing to select just the right action to hurt her over and over? would you be willing to sit and watch the consequences of what you’ve done?”

I mean. that’s one angle anyway. I also subscribe to the idea of the weird route as “power-leveling” your favorite character, or just wanting to make the “weak girl” into something strong and threatening, in defiance of all those games that wouldn’t let you do just that. youre helping her of course. and girls like her dont usually get to become the strongest. you want to see it just once.

I think the former is much more likely to be the overall “point” of the weird route, but maybe the latter is like, the internal justification the player/soul gives themselves within the narrative. and of course in real life every actual person playing is going to feel differently and have different reasons. but again, we really don’t have enough information to make that kind of call. it could just as easily be something that will become clear only when we get much deeper in.

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Sorry if you’ve answered this already but at the moment who would you say are your top 5 deltarune characters if you had to rank them?:)

1. noelle

2. kris

hmmmmmmmm

3. susie

HMMMMMMMMMMM

4. rouxls kaard

5. spamton

this probably changes day by day, except for the first two. those are permanent

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What does Divorce Kriselle mean?

well Kriselle is the romantic pairing portmanteau between kris dreemurr and noelle holiday. and Divorce is the legal process of ending a marriage or marital union

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Were you also a bit disappointed that Catti turned out not o be important at all lol. I ask since I think one of your last pre 3-4 fanarts was of Kris and Catti together, so I assume you might’ve at some point thought she could’ve been important.

Well, maybe she can still be, in a smaller role then, but if not even that, at least we’ll have other character instead to fawn over (like our boys Tenna and Gerson) and there’s at least fanworks that can do whatever they want with her.

bro we still got half the game left. PLENTY of time for our girl catti to get involved. carol didn't even make an appearance until chapter 4, and she's probably one of the main antagonists. I know people were expecting catti to have her big moment in chapter 4 specifically but just because it didn't happen then doesn't mean it's never happening. I mean, just based on how much she cares about noelle alone- she wants to protect her so badly. I think that's leading up to something. especially now that she's mad at kris and feels like she can't trust them to protect noelle when she's not around.

if catti doesn't become plot significant in some way I definitely will be disappointed, but I'll also just be really surprised. speaking from decades of experience with video games and anime and crazy fantasy bullshit from everywhere, oftentimes the most important characters don't even get introduced until near the very end. even if she never goes to the dark world, there's just no way I can see catti not involving herself with the plot at all.

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shotgun wedding

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Hi! Just wanted to say I really do adore your art. No idea how to put it into words but it just envokes so much feeling. Thank you.

Question time! You mention that a lot of your art is inspired by other art too? Art as a whole, tho this question will prolly have a musical focus.

What artists do you think inspire you the most? What sorta music (artists + genres) have given you the most ideas for your art?

ooh, that’s a great question. I do get a lot of ideas from music and song lyrics, and when I’m trying to brainstorm a new project I usually even start it off by making a playlist to kinda get a feel for the vibe I wanna go for. I listen to a LOT of music but I often just pick out individual songs rather than albums or artists, especially since my method of finding new music is effectively “dig around and see what happens.” some of the artists I come back to a lot for their sound and lyrics though are the mountain goats, nicole dollanganger, kate bush, mitski, the magnetic fields, neko case, aimee mann, the decemberists, deftones, nine inch nails, radical face, radiohead, nirvana, the books, the antlers, uhhh maybe I should stop there lol. I dunno what exact genres those things are, but I listen to a lot of stuff with really descriptive lyrics presented in a way I find interesting, or stuff that makes me picture an AMV in my head. I also like taking songs I already am stuck on and finding ways to connect them to whatever I’m thinking about, like solving a puzzle. that helps give me ideas too.

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youve been soooo right about deltarune from day fucking 1. sorry about the weird anons that dont, youre engaging with the thing how its meant to be engaged with. it rules

haha well, I wasn’t even super into it until after chapter 2, so I’ve been right about SOME things since that point. and I’ve been wrong about some things too (sorry ralsei). it helps a lot that I’ve tried to stay fairly vague and only talked about themes and symbolism rather than specific theories, for the most part. it’s a lot easier to get things “right” when you’re casting a wide net….. I won’t lie though I’m like, ecstatic about the things it seems like I got correct. especially since so many people are listening to me now. I would feel pretty bad if it turned out I was pointing people in the complete wrong direction.

as for weird anons, I assume you’re referring to the one I complained to goomyloid about, since the anon I actually responded to was honestly very kind and willing to listen. but yah like….. idk I mean I was prepared for that kind of reaction, you gotta be when you bring up something so…… controversial, I guess. and things are a LOT better in that department now than they were ten years ago, sheesh I woulda probably been driven off the website. so I can really appreciate the fact that people are generally more open to talking about “scary” ideas like that. but it’s also important to hear people out and really think about things when someone says you’ve done something wrong, especially about sensitive topics, because sometimes you ARE in the wrong or could be doing things better. at the same time though be ready to stand up for yourself. anon told me to reevaluate my thinking, and I did, and I decided that I’m doing fine.

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Hello! I found you through your abduction fanart for deltarune I have not caught up to the weird route yet but I am curios (and generally worried bc I don't really do well w forced romance/physical affection) as to what made you think or read that scene between Kris and Noelle as.... An implied sa scene (?)/gen for the lack of a better term u can ignore and I apologize if that wasn't your intention for the fanart but again I was just curious ^^;;

no worries, it's an honest and genuine question and I absolutely understand why you would want to know about it before going in yourself. I'll try to explain as best I can. (spoilers follow of course)

so first I need to establish this, idk if you'd heard already but the scene was actually patched to have an animation changed. this is the biggest point of contention with people and the main reason cited for that reading of the text: originally, the scene ended with a hard cut to black, apart from an animation of a small rose in the same spot noelle had just been, losing its petals one by one. and we cut right from that to a completely different scene without getting to see the aftermath of what happened to noelle. because of the wilting rose imagery, a lot of people took it to mean that she had been "deflowered", as in the player in kris's body had literally assaulted her. after a few days, the rose animation was changed to instead resemble glass cracking, or thorns blooming outward, or veins, I've seen it referred to as a lot of different things. there's been a ton of discussion about this but my interpretation of the change is that the team wanted to make it clear that an assault was not like, the one true reading of the scene. since noelle's fate beyond that is left fairly ambiguous and we don't have the rest of the game yet, we only have that symbolism to go off of. so I can understand why it could be taken as a literal, textual sexual assault and there could be a lot of controversy around that.

that said, the rose animation wasn't the ONLY thing that gave people that idea. the entire scene leading up to it is extremely intimate in a very scary and uncomfortable way. it involves kris and noelle alone together in noelle's bedroom, trying to have a serious conversation that is interrupted by the player taking full control of kris, revealing to noelle that the "dream" was real, and that we can hear her thoughts. the climax of the scene is "kris" crowding closer and closer to noelle as she desperately tries to move away, pleading for us to stop, until she's backed into a corner. "kris" then grabs her arm, noelle screams, and the thorn ring is painfully forced back onto her finger. cut to black. I don't know if I need to explain the parallels there.

I want to be clear that I don't think there's a "correct" way to read this scene, it's vague on purpose and left to the viewer's imagination. I personally don't actually see it as a textual assault- I see it as a metaphorical one. but some people do read it as textual, and others don't read it as relating to SA at all. I think all of these interpretations are completely valid, but there's no way to know how each individual person sees it. that's why I tagged my art as SA. I was not intending to imply it's literally what I believe happened, but I understood that the framing and imagery has the potential to inspire that idea and by that logic it could also be really upsetting to people who need to filter it out. (the caption of course nods to that as well; "the abduction of proserpina" refers to a famous sculpture that is more commonly known as "the rape of proserpina", though "abduction" is a more accurate translation. I wanted to make a reference to the darker interpretation while still giving it plausible deniability, which is what I see the actual text as, and also reference the myth of hades and persephone at the same time. so it WAS intentional on my part but like. symbolically.)

I hope this clears things up for you and also helps you decide whether you want to see that part of the game for yourself. keep in mind, whatever you take away from it is totally valid, and the same goes for everyone else. it's a really fucked up scene either way and I don't like that people are pointing fingers at each other for how we choose to read it.

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I’m genuinely wondering here, but you’re not like, wholly obsessed just with the weird route and all the creepy, forced on romance stuff right? I say this as someone who’s known that you’ve done a lot of analysis on the weird route and such, from reposts mostly of your art, and I just wanted to ask that cause honestly, you never know if someone who talks extensively about vile things that happened to children in media are people who want to just analyze how media handles such grave and sensitive topics or just genuine creeps.

I know that sounds deranged and maybe pearl clutchingly puritan, but sadly it isn’t like it’s completely unheard. Like, some creator of Fnaf fan game for example, dormitabus or whatever, made the purple guy a child rapist and then it turns out the creator was a groomer themself. So I hope you understand why some people are always going to have their guards up when it comes to media that explores horrific things such Child sexual assault, suicide, murder and so on and even just discussions about that, in case some seem to be a little to off-puttingly obsessed with it.

I understand your apprehension, I've been on the internet (and in the world) long enough that I've seen plenty of examples of what you're talking about. it's often really hard to tell the difference between somebody who genuinely wants to talk about and analyze darker topics in a compassionate way, and somebody who's just being a pervert about it, especially when the phrase "I explore darker topics" has unfortunately become something of a red flag on its own. there are lots of creeps out there, and they can be really good at pretending theyre not (so they can keep being creeps easier). which is all to say, I don't blame you for worrying.

I don't know how comforting this is going to be for you, but the truth is that I AM more interested in the weird route than the normal route, generally. I've always been drawn to stories about people going through really horrible shit, especially the ones that do that using a lot of symbolism and metaphors (i.e. alluding to real-world issues using absurd or fantastical circumstances). I've liked that sort of thing since I was six years old watching digimon tamers on fox kids and acting out my toys dramatically killing each other. I like irreversible tragedy and trauma and seeing characters cope in the aftermath, but portrayed through the lens of fantasy so it feels safer to engage with. so of course that's something I want to also explore in my own work.

I will say though, that the weird route's forced romance stuff in specific isn't what draws me to it. it's the fact that it combines a lot of different concepts and themes I'm interested in- genre deconstruction, fantasy tropes, metanarrative, gender, autonomy, doing a "this comfortable and familiar story but Fucked Up" thing, I could go on. I would probably still be crazy about it without the weird divorcecore angle. it's just like, catnip for me lol. but my main goal is always to use the things I love to enrich the lives of other people and cause as little harm as possible while doing that.

but really I can't convince you of anything. the choice as to whether or not you're comfortable with my work and how I express these feelings, is not up to me. that's entirely your decision and I don't expect everybody who looks at what I make to want to keep looking at it. that's the risk you take when making art of any kind. I can tell you sincerely that when I discuss or portray "darker topics" I always try to do it with empathy and understanding, and without exploiting the situation or people involved, but it's entirely up to you whether or not you trust that I'm coming from a decent place with that, and whether or not I'm doing it successfully is going to change based on personal opinion too. but even though it's your decision, when you DO choose to put your trust in somebody like that, and that trust is broken, it's not at all your fault. we NEED trust in order to function socially, and somebody betraying that is never the responsibility of the person being betrayed. the burden shouldn't be on you to sniff out when a relationship, even the relationship between writer and reader, is being exploited or misused.

if you decide to trust that I'm being truthful and I have good intentions, and trying my hardest to be respectful, that's a massive compliment to me and I wear it as a badge of honor. if not, I won't take offense and I'll keep trying to do right by these subjects when I create anyway. ✌️

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Thank you so much for tagging that comic SA, it means a lot as a survivor. That scene absolutely tripped that trauma for me - both you and canon did a fantastic job of rendering it with compassion and horror.

(For future reference “sexual assault tw” doesn’t trip most blacklists, tumblr only catches the exact tag, partial matches only work with in-post text. A lot of my friends blacklist specifically “#SA” or put the warning in the post’s text)

I'm glad it helped you out! also thank you for this message, I was second-guessing myself as to whether the tag was necessary and if it might just cause problems but now I'm confident. and thank you for the advice as well, I just updated the tags!

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the abduction of proserpina

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Everyone I know in Gaza is messaging me saying they can't find internet anymore and are barely able to connect using esims that are running out. Please don't stop donating esims.

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mancountry

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Last question you might for now but how do you now feel about Toriel and Asgore as characters? Asking now cause with Toriel, there’s some now some heated debate about her being a bad mother and even person, mostly stemming from that jitterbug scene which some people see as confirmation of what was implied about her and Kris relationship in the first 2 chapters and with Asgore, there’s many (including myself) that believe he might actually join us in a dw next chapter, mostly due to the line Gerso said chapter 5 being about “a garden charred by an inferno of jealousy”, which, given the current situation with Asgore and Toriel and her blossoming relationship with Sans, seems to track pretty much.

All I can say about this personally is that I hope we get more development on the dreamurr adults from now on, especially my poor boy Asgore, since I’ve always wished to get a lot more development of him ever since he was kinda pushed aside in UT in terms of that and also cause I don’t want to remain a punching bag character in DR either. What you say?

this is a really interesting topic so I’m glad to have an opportunity to talk about it. I think the main problem we’re facing here is that, as fandom tends to do, there’s this all-or-nothing approach to how we view characters, especially women. they’re either Good or they’re Bad. the good ones deserve sympathy and the bad ones deserve scorn. so people are currently trying to fit toriel into that dichotomy

to start, no I do not think toriel is a bad person lmao. I also disagree that she’s overall a bad mother- who gets to decide where that line is, anyway? what I do think is that what she did in this instance was extremely irresponsible and speaks to the biggest issue plaguing the dreemurr family: a lack of understanding and communication. kris is unable to communicate what they’re going through, and toriel is unable to understand their feelings. she clearly deeply loves her child and wants them to be happy, and tries her best to make that so. but toriel is still a person with feelings of her own, and I think how she feels about asgore has formed a barrier between her and kris.

we have to remember that toriel is still going through what seems like an EXTREMELY messy divorce. she wants to move on, and she probably could have by now, but her ex follows her around and hounds her with romantic gestures every single day. she must be stressed and exhausted. from her perspective she just wants asgore to leave her alone already and stop interrupting her life, and I’m sure that makes it difficult for her to sympathize with kris, who still loves their father. when we see somebody as a bad, hurtful person, it can become really hard to understand the feelings of those who care about them. it’s not that she doesn’t care about kris’s feelings, it’s more likely she just doesn’t recognize them in the first place.

toriel must have felt so free for the first time in ages to just be dancing and goofing around with a new (most likely much younger) man. that doesnt excuse the fact that she never told kris where she was, and didn’t bother checking up on them in turn, and instead got so drunk she forgot or stopped caring about her responsibilities and really upset kris and susie. but it does help us understand why she would do something like that. I don’t think we can fairly cast judgement on toriel’s overall character based on this incident, all we can do is cast judgement on these specific actions.

moving onto asgore- I can’t lie, I’m not happy with the guy. he’s literally harassing his ex-wife and doing it in front of their child, sometimes even using kris as an unwilling agent in his plans. but I’m sure that’s not at all how he sees it. from his perspective, if he can just convince toriel that whatever Happened wasn’t his fault, or was justified, then they’ll get back together and everything will go back to the way it was. and he thinks that to convince her he needs to get her to sit down and talk to him, and he thinks that to do that he needs to woo her and remind her of her old love for him. these are not malicious actions, but he doesn’t understand toriel and her feelings at all, and doesn’t seem to be attempting to. he doesn’t understand how uncomfortable he’s making kris either. he’s only focused on this end goal of getting back to normal. he’s not a bad person, he’s just completely oblivious.

because of that, even if when we find out what he did or didn’t do it does turn out to not be his fault at all, there’s still no way that toriel is going to forgive him and it wont change the fact that how he’s acting now is totally inappropriate. it’s in the same way that understanding toriel doesn’t change the fact that she failed kris when they needed her. but I can’t call either of them overall bad parents or bad people. flawed, sure, but all parents are. making a final and damning moral ruling on either of them based on their actions in a very rough situation seems pretty foolish to me

[hellspawnmotel]

(gonna talk about a pretty dark topic, obviously)

so first I want to say: initially I didn’t even know there WAS a patch, it took me so long to get through chapter 4 at all that I didn’t get to that scene until after everything was updated. I only heard about it afterword. I know there’s been some debate as to whether the change was needed and which animation was “better”, but my opinion is actually that we’ve kind of got the best of both worlds.

I understand why it was changed- as evocative as the rose was, I get wanting to make it clear that noelle was not literally assaulted, because that’s a huge step to take and not only was it not the intention, but I’m sure the team wanted to avoid the kind of controversy allegedly including a r*pe scene might bring. as dark as the weird route is, I don’t think they wanted to go quite that far. BUT

even though it was patched out, in a way the rose is always going to be there. we saw the rose, and those of us who didn’t get to see it in our own games inevitably heard about it later. it’s been preserved forever in gifs, videos, and memories. it’s always going to be a part of deltarune’s extended, meta lore- and because of that, nobody who cares about the game to the extent we do is EVER going to forget that this scene was so horrifying in such a specific way that a lot of people thought they had just forced kris’s body to sexually assault their friend. so in that way, it still forces you to think about it. because even without the rose, the rest of the scene is still there.

it still takes place in noelle’s bedroom, it’s still about that loss of autonomy and privacy, and it still involves what would normally be a romantic gesture being physically forced onto her, in a way that’s painful, by somebody she trusted. the vibes are still pretty clear and you can still read into that and see it as part of what really happened. or not, you don’t have to. patching out the rose gives you the option to interpret it how you want. but we’re still going to think about it.

anyway. I do need every deltarune fan who hasn’t to watch revolutionary girl utena. I am no longer asking