henrike-does-writing-sometimes

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Got possesed to redo the Divine Boys line-up (y'all can expect it some point next year lmao) and Andie's pose reminded me of something...

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

⏳ and 👽 for the ask game?

Coming right up !

⏳ To The End

There was a certain air to her that made talking a lot easier. Enough so that Thea, only a couple of minutes into their session, said, “I've been having weird dreams as of late.” Hana tilted her head, a sign for Thea to continue. “I’m in this place that I’ve never seen before, but it feels so… familiar. Like I’ve been there even though I haven’t.” Thea could recall the place with uncomfortable ease; a glade out in the forest, littered with old trash like oil pans and parts of a car, all covered in thick layers of moss. Strange as it was, a part of her knew that if she wanted to then she could find it. The path memorized as if she’d been there several times before. But she hadn’t.

👽 The Neon Trilogy

André's character theme is Passenger by Noah Kahan, and I chose it because it encapsulates the feeling of not knowing your own value or what you truly are, both of which being central to André's character.

Tell me it won't hurt, Now I, I'm your passenger. The old me won't work, Now I, I'm your passenger.

^^ How his sense of self essentially shattered when he discovered what he truly was and how he now has to rebuild it, hopefully with the help of those he still feels he can trust.

Oh, I think I found a way to keep my hands full. I spend long nights, oh, I question my self-control. // Now all of the debts that I owe, Oh, they keep me useful, my head held tall. Now I can't accept what I lost, You can make me balanced, but you can't make me whole.

^^ Keeping himself distracted with his supposed purpose and making amends for crimes he hasn't commited, all the while longing to go back to when things were simpler.

Thank you so much for the ask !

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

EATING THIS OMFG !!

🌳, 🚂, and (to no ones surprise) 🐈 !!!

thank youuuuu <3<3

🌳 the chronicles of lathsbury

have some more stuff from the new timeline that i should get back to writing at some point

When IIARAN learned all the ways of Cantillo from her sister, she clapped happily, eager to create the world of their desires. But, it would not do to simply weave it together, she thought; for it would be easy to get in the way of each other or tangle their threads. They must somehow work together to create this world—but she did not know how. This problem bothered her for some time, and it was not until she laid down beside IISIDIA to rest one day, that she heard the elder making a noise in her throat.  What Is That Sound, Dear Sister? She asked, and IISIDIA told her that she was humming. Like So?IIARAN asked, and began to hum herself. But unlike her sister, her voice was high and brilliant like the rays of light that shone throughout the Fracta. IISIDIA began to hum alongside her, and the melody of their song was pleasant to both of their ears. In fact, its interweaving sprout forth four young deities as Cantillo began to ripple and stir around them: Rana, of the highest pitch, Ranae, of the middle high pitch, Waname, of the middle low pitch, and Wanao, of the deepest pitch. The formation of these young deities made IIARAN realize that it was through this that she and IISIDIA would be able to create their world. Through the harmony and melody of song; something she came to call Cantatio—or the weaving of Cantillo.

🚂 train master chidori

random factoid:

amehana has triplet older brothers -> kumozora, raizan & seifuu :>

🐈 the liminal space series

have something from the illustrious donut wip but i'm gonna censor it for spoilers LMAO. but have a lot of fun gore that i think you'll enjoy :)

in a heap at the bottom of the stairs lay a body. ███████ ████████ body. his leg was bent wrong. i could see the bone of what was probably his femur puncturing out of his skin, just underneath his knee. it was twisted unnaturally, the entire leg, pointing inwards but in way that was… not quite right. his neck was hanging on by a thread; it almost seemed as though he was decapitated— just like ████. just like ████’s body. but this time there was no excuse of suicide; there was no knife at the scene, no sharp object that could’ve done this. even if a fall down the stairs were to snap your neck, it shouldn’t look like this.  it was wrong.

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

5, 15, and 17 for Jenna (and Yehna), Carlos, and Noi !

thank you for the ask !! <3<3

5. How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

usually i have more thought behind character's names but i'm gonna be real with you the big secret to jenna's wip is it's actually existed for waaaay longer than i actually bring attention to and that translates to a lot of their names being just "because"

anyway, jenna literally manifested with the name jenna magboo, i'm not joking. her name has been the same since day one and i have never changed it LMAO. i didn't even like the name jenna that much ?? until i made her character. but i seriously can't imagine her with any other name she's just jenna to me. and furthermore, she (and i) hate when people nickname her--no jen's that's super weird lol.

idk if i ever mentioned it, but carlos is actually his middle name? his first name is victor--but he didn't really fuck with his mom giving him an anglicized name so after a certain point in like middle school he started going by carlos and never stopped. HOWEVER, he actually originally used to be named sam. i have no idea ??? why ????? cuz he doesn't look like a sam At All to me (and his design has actually stayed relatively the same so ??) but then i decided i wanted to fully identify his ethnicity and decided he was hispanic (him being afro-brazilian came more recently) and so then his name changed from sam to victor, then victor got exapanded to victor carlos but he goes by carlos lol.

yehna i derived off of jenna because i wanted their names to be similar based on their connection: it feels familiar but its also.... off? yknow? but the only thing i changed is the spelling: it used to be spelled yenna like literally the same as jenna but with a y but i think yehna conveys both the pronunciation and alienness of the name better.

and noi... i also don't know? like jenna they've always had their name as is, i just added their surname randiche eventually when i decided they should have a surname lol (and also decided that they were black+jewish). noi's origin is actually really fascinating and i've actually had them as a character for longer than jenna but at the time they were kind of just a 'character design'. i tend to place a difference between my drawn ocs and my written ocs (only in the past 5-7 years have i been combining the two worlds frfr) but i saw the name noi in passing once (before dorehedoro or whatever that anime is before anyone asks) and decided to name noi that pff. its just apart of them now there's no real method to the madness.

15. Have you ever made a moodboard for them?

naurrrrr i'm really bad at moodboards tbh. even though i draw i wouldn't say i'm a naturally visual person. however, i can throw some together for them all since i have nada better to do. in order:

JENNA - CARLOS - YEHNA - NOI

17. Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

also lowkey (to me) a bit bad at these, but i will do my best!

JENNA -> bandages/scraped knees, fire extinguishers/fire, rocks and crystals, gradients

a lot of these are mostly because they directly relate to jenna's appearance but you can definitely glean a deeper meaning from it if you squint. jenna is always getting scraped up because she likes adventuring and exploring, however, it also shows that she is cared for by others (she rarely puts bandages on by herself usually carlos does it for her), and it shows her determination. fire is the great neutralizer, so she tends to use fire a lot when she's doing spells or breaking them and the fire extinguisher itself could also refer to her relationship with carlos, but it also refers to the fact that jenna is really unconventional with how she uses magic. she is the definition (to me) of an urban-modern witch. she uses flame throwers and fire extinguishers to get shit done. gradients show gradual change and the reason jenna's hair is a huge part of her identity is its color gradient literally shows how jenna's magic is growing stronger and stronger with each passing day. and rocks + crystals are just thing jenna uses often also she and i have the enjoyer of rocks autism in common.

CARLOS -> x files

that's like the main symbol of his that i can think of because he is ALWAYS watching x files reruns when he has time to himself, and he has a pretty decent collection of x files t shirts. and i think it really plays into his character simply because (to me) is a mixture of how mulder and scully operate within the show (though obvs he's more of a scully type). and it also describes he and jenna's relationship. his enjoyment of the show also shows his willingness to accept that supernatural/paranormal shit exists though he does approach it with a level of caution that does get overrided by plot and jenna's shenanigans.

YEHNA -> the color green, deaths and grim reaper iconography

part of yehna's inspo is unashamedly the character dead master from black rock shooter, so that's why there's a lot of green in her design in a meta way. in a more plot related way, green is both the color of life and the color of illness, and death itself is apart of both of those things; as yehna is a reaper, she does embody elements of both; whenever she takes over some or all of jenna, jenna's eyes glow green. and obvs bc she's a reaper, there's reaper imagery that one's not complicated. but my favorite is that she can summon her own scythe when she starts getting more powerful within jenna lol.

NOI -> newspapers and journals, eyepatches and eyes

the eyes are the window to the soul and so its no accident that the demon that inhabits noi lives mostly in their eye. it also got fucked up in The Accident tm at the end of their book so that's cool lmao, so they always have that eye covered both by a patch but also their hair in some way to draw less attention to it. noi is also a curious person by nature and they're always trying to understand more about the world--not just in the situations they find themselves in, but they're the kind of person who always has a wiki tab open and a miniature encyclopedia in their list of necessities for travel.

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO !!! CHAMPAGNE FOR PARAMOUR !!!

✨HAPPY PARAMOUR FOURTH ANNIVERSARY✨

even though i have wips that are older than paramour, no wip fundamentally changed me as a person the same way that this wip has. it's the first wip that i ever truly made for myself and spared no indulgence. the commitment to its themes, the fixation on the ways i wanted to tell a story, and, of course, the literal one true pair to come out of this wip will forever have a mark on my soul and on my heart.

even though i have spent the past year focusing on another wip, that wip would not exist if not for the strides i have made with paramour. because when i do go to write paramour in its full glory, it's going to be my masterpiece. my true indulgent opus. and its fitting that this wip was born on this day. for if there was any wip that got me comfortable with my own blackness, it was this one.

thank you to everyone whose found their way to this wip, and to those who may see this art with zero context and wonder what on earth this could be for. thank you to the friends that i've made along the journey who love these idiots as much as i do <3 it means more to me than you know!

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Funny how you mention me, Kat, 'cause uhhh this is in my sketch

there is something so crazy and powerful about having art of your oc that was made by anyone other than yourself. like oh my god you actually exist outside of my own brain that's WILD

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

⏳️ 🌌 🪞 👽 🌳 plsplsplspls :>

Right away, king !!

⏳️ To The End

Samir’s head tilted slightly to the side, his mind fogging up with some kind of déjà vu. The woman’s eyes landed on him then, and her brows furrowed lightly as she grinned. “Have I met you before?” she asked in a joking manner. “I don’t think so,” Samir said, “What’s your name?” “Ingalill Nordlund.” Samir thought for a moment, but he couldn’t recall the name at all. Not even when the fog finally cleared. He shook his head, “Doesn’t ring a bell, I’m afraid.”

🌌 The Divine

“I can prove it!” Aiyo insisted, “Just say ‘by the power of the sun, illuminate me’ and you'll see!” Rei blinked, “By the power of the sun, illuminate me? What-?” he was cut off as something intense surged through him and a bright light flashed before his eyes. It passed quickly, leaving Rei dizzy and slightly disoriented. He stumbled backwards, catching himself on the windowsill. “What the hell?” he groaned and brought his hand up to cradle his forehead— and froze. His room was messier than usual. His dinosaur figurines had fallen off their shelf, the pile of used-but-not-really-dirty clothes had been scattered over the room, and his framed and signed poster of Dia: Awakening was lying face down on the floor. Rei would've rushed to ensure it was still intact, had it not been for the sight of his hand, now clad in a black fingerless glove.

🪞 Realm of Mirrors

The restaurant was about to close, yet no one made a move to leave. Stuck in their seats, staring blankly at the trash from the food they’d eaten in unbearable silence. Under a napkin lay a pile of pickles, because there was no Emil to take them when the rest removed them from their burgers. Wrappers and boxes were strewn over their trays without thought, because there was no Tindra to insist on organizing everything.  Emil was gone in the mirror realm, and Tindra was lying dead in the castle.

👽 The Neon Trilogy

This one is undergoing a massive overhaul, so unfortunately, no snippet here. Instead, I'll be talking about Pearl by Sobi and how it relates to Catalina, André's aunt.

I don't know if I've ever talked about it but... yeah, Catalina isn't André's aunt, nor is she human. She is, however, more or less the sole reason why André is on Earth and still alive, because she was the first to ever view him as a person instead of a weapon. (I'm very emo about it lol)

Pearl is a song about a mother's love for her child, and it's love specifically that sets Catalina apart from Madereine. Where Madereine is André's mother because she created him, Catalina is his mother because she loves him unconditionally and repeatedly puts herself on the line to ensure he's safe.

I regret nothing; it was an honor More define myself to call you my daughter You mean the world to me And I'd do it all again for you, my pearl

They're not related and it can be argued that Catalina kidnapped André, but that's her son who deserves to live because he's just a baby <3

🌳 The Garden of Corpses

“Sorry,” Janan said sheepishly, “I don’t get why I’m still hungry.” “Nah, I get it.” Alejandra said. Her brows then knit tightly, “Question: has anyone been not hungry as of late?” Nils groaned, “I think I’ve been hungry since Yule.” “Same here,” Heidi sighed, “It’s like nothing I’m eating is doing anything.” Isak felt it'd be redundant to voice his own hunger, but it was there, clawing inside his stomach no matter how much he ate. Isak recalled his mother’s stories about the distinction between her human hunger and her lynx hunger. How she sometimes had to feast as both human and lynx to feel properly fed. But she was a Beast; secondary sensations like that made sense for her. Isak was an Elemental. What kind of secondary hunger could he possibly experience? And that didn’t account for the strangest part of it all— how he never felt fatigued like with typical hunger. He almost felt stronger, more alert.

Thank you for the ask !!

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Send me one of these emojis and I'll share a snippet from the associated wip !

And if I don't have a snippet to offer, then I'll explain the significance of a random and out of context scene or song that's on the playlist :>

Thank you so much to ren @vacantgodling for tagging me mwah !!!

I'll be tagging @zonnemaagd, @1nhal3r, and anyone else who wants to do it !

⏳️ To The End

🪞 Realm of Mirrors

👽 The Neon Trilogy

🌌 The Divine

🪽 Ode To An Angel

🔥 A Guardian's Tale

🎪 The Wayward Carnival

🕯 Witchcraft and Alchemy

🌳 The Garden of Corpses

♟️ Maledictus

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Shit I almost forgot-

Happy Pride to the Martyrs Gang and whatever the fuck they've going on !!!

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Reality.

It's been a hot minute since I shared any writing but that changes today with this little scene of Thea going through it...

Enjoy !

Word count: 665 Warnings: Heavy dissociation | Implied internalized transphobia | Self-deprication Wip: To The End Characters: Thea Rivera

: Taglist - @vacantgodling @artie5o5 :

Let me know if you want to be added/removed !

//

They were being watched. Reality was falling apart. 

Thea started at the floorboards of her entré hall— unfocused and detached. She’d been standing there ever since she’d returned to her apartment. It could’ve been for a few seconds or hours; there was no sure way to know. And that frightened her. 

A set of trembling hands lifted itself into view.

‘These are my hands.’ Thea reminded herself, flexing her fingers to prove it to be true. They felt… numb. She curled her hands into fists and dug her manicured nails into her palms. Nothing.

She dug harder and harder, reminding herself over and over again that these were her hands. Her chest was starting to churn; morphing into an empty pit before swelling. Back and forth, never giving Thea time to adjust to the feeling. As if trying to push her out of her own body. 

A sense of dread washed over her.

“No, no, no.” a static voice began to chime.

Thea dragged her ragdoll body over to the mirror. She’d had it for a while, it reminded her of the one in her childhood bedroom— only without the cracks from where she’d hit it. Standing in front of it, there wasn’t a single thing she recognized. 

Something was obscuring her sight; warping the image of herself into a bleary visage that no longer felt familiar. Was it even Thea she was looking at?

It should be her. It had to be her.

Numb fingers traced her face; the crooked nose and the scar that ran across it, the freckles kissing tanned skin, and the defined jawline. All of which should’ve come together to form the face of Thea Rivera, but now didn’t.

‘Did you take your meds?’ an urgent voice in her mind asked.

‘What does it matter?’ a monotonous voice replied.

‘Did you take your meds?’

‘This isn't real.’

‘I’m not real.’

A wave of anger— relentless and overwhelming— crashed into her. All that time. All that time she’d spent fixing herself, reshaping herself into something better. Something she could love unconditionally; it was all wasted.

The people who left her to rot had been right. There was no point to it. She was a lost cause.

‘I'm not real.’

She punched the stranger’s face, hopefully breaking her nose a second time. The satisfying crunch under her knuckles told her it had. Which wasn’t surprising. The stranger was as weak and fragile as glass— a pathetic excuse for a woman.

The relief was short-lived, as a strand of rustic blonde hair fell over her eyes. The sight gave her pause, before making her snap.

She’d been so proud once. So, so proud of how beautiful she was; how beautiful she could be. If only she’d known how meaningless it was.

Without a sound, she stormed further into the apartment. Knocking over picture frames and lamps as she did. Whoever owned them could die for all she cared. She threw open a drawer in the kitchen, sticking her hand in blindly to rummage around for whatever. She found it quickly, fingers knowing just how to curl around its handle as she brought it to her hair.

Snip!

The sound was just as satisfying as the breaking of glass bones. 

She did it again and again— her movements growing more uncoordinated until the blades were hacking away at her hair, rather than cutting it. The kitchen sink glimmered dully beneath locks of blonde.

White noise screamed in her ears. Every so often, she could make out voices in the dissonance. 

‘You dumb bitch! What are you doing?’

‘You’re fucking insane.’

“SHUT UP!”

She startled at the sudden sound— at the sudden toll on her vocal cords. She snapped around and threw the scissors at whoever had spoken. Reason told her it was the stranger, but there was no sign of her.

Whatever. It didn’t matter. Nothing did.

All of her accomplishments— her recoveries, her improvements, her achievements— they meant nothing.

Thea Rivera wasn’t real.

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

2, 12, and 15 from the love ask game for the most speciallest blorbo from your wips, Noi <3

thank u for asking about theyyyyy <3<3

2. Is your OC at all romantic themselves? Or is romance something they expect others to perform for their benefit?

noi can be romantic, but they tend to be really focused on their own goals and aspirations first. they aren't opposed, they're just a busybody lmao. they wouldn't expect anyone to perform romance for them however--they would think that was kinda weird to expect something especially if they didn't have plans of reciprocaiton. the funny thing about their eventual kinda-sorta-could be relationship with seph is that they are constantly baffled by his initiating romantic and intimate actions lol. they don't mind they're just like ?? lmao?? its kinda cute ngl

12. If your OC were in love, how might they recognise this? Or would they be too much in denial?

noi's had crushes but they haven't properly been in love-love yknow? but i think they would start to recognize it would be after they actually got with someone; since they believe love is something that is built versus something you feel. so the easiest way for them to figure it out would be to be attracted to someone, ask them out/get in a relationship, then like a year-ish later, be like "well we haven't broken up and i enjoy your presence in my life so looks like i'm in love with you" LMAO

15. Is your OC easy to love? If not, then what are the barriers?

i think it depends on the kind of person you are if you find them easy to love or not. the main barrier i think to this would be how much value noi places on their pursuits and interests and if it was compatible with how much time you feel like you have to spend with someone or be prioritized by them to feel cared for. like, noi is definitely someone who, if they want to, will put in effort to engage with a crush's interests and passions and in the same vein they kind of expect the same thing in return. however, they're definitely not going to rearrange their life to accomodate for someone. their individuality always comes first for them, and if that's an issue for you you might find them a bit aloof or cold or difficult to love. but really thye're just focused and passionate :)

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

1-5 for the ask game you recently reblogged for the to the end kiddos pwease <3

Oh buckle tf up for this one, Ren

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

In 2015-16 13-year-old me, swamped in media where different things and concepts were personified, went "I wanna do that to." What did I personify ?? The four ancient Greek words for love.

Samir was Storge, Eric was Eros, Thea was Philia, and Asher was Agape. As one might've been able to tell by the first letter of their names lmaooo. I do think the different-kinds-of-love origin they got kinda fits with their current day relationship, which is intended to be ambiguous but rooted in love.

I don't remember much of their original story, but I do know it was heavily influenced by Greek mythology.

(Don't tell the tiktok girlies, but they used to be siblings lubrfleurbl)

How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

I decided to revamp these characters back when I got the initial idea for To The End in 2020, so I think around that time.

Although it's worth mentioning that Thea's design has barely changed over the years lhberlhberl I kinda wanna draw their old designs next to their current designs, similarly to what I did with the core four Guardians, because oh boy. Eric, I am so sorry you ever looked like that and in my defense, I was 13.

What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

I think it was their personalities, which was basically just what type of love they represented. Shocking, I know.

Samir was the mom friend who had some eldest daughter syndrome going on, very calm and mature. So, basically what I worry people are going to turn him into if this story ever has a fandom lol

Eric was this charming smooth-talker who struggled with his self-worth, and I think he might've had a love interest but I'm not sure.

Asher was the quiet and gentle type, easily distracted and probably liked poetry or art in general. Don't remember what his struggle was...

Thea was very bubbly and extroverted, the type to befriend anyone and anything. I also don't remember her struggle, but I do know that she's been trans since day one, we love to see it !

I feel like they still got small bits of their old versions in them, and I love that for them <3

And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

Probably their then designs. I'm not gonna say they were bad, I did nail Thea on the first try, but they weren't that creative considering the prompt I was working with.

How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

Ok so, as previously shown, I picked their names based on first letters and what I thought sounded cool, and by a random list of Greek names I found online. My only defense is that I was 13.

Samir was originally Salvador, changed to Samir when I rehauled the character and decided he should be Arabic.

Eric has always been Eric, no deeper thoughts happening here.

Thea's first name was Philippa, before it was changed to Panthea, then shortened to Thea. I think I just liked the sound of it and thought it suited her, like her design.

Asher used to be Ace and, fun fact, wasn't even supposed to be called Asher. When I rehauled the characters, I called him Archer, but at some point misspelled it to Asher, didn't realize it was a mistake until I went back to the original dock. But at that point I'd grown attatched to Asher so there was no changing it back erfbnglsenujr

Thank you so much for the ask, king !

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Character asks!

These are more focused on the background stuff rather than the usual "what would the character do in XY situation" kinds of asks. I've been looking for something like this for quite a while and in the end decided to make my own. Feel free to use, go wild, enjoy

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?

What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?

What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

How big is their role in the story? Do they make a frequent appearance or are they a character with little "screentime" but big influence? Or are they just a favourite background guy?

What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?

Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?

Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?

Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?

Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?

Have you ever made a moodboard for them?

Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?

What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

a little embarrassed it took me this long to figure out what to do for chapter titles lmao

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

Reality.

It's been a hot minute since I shared any writing but that changes today with this little scene of Thea going through it...

Enjoy !

Word count: 665 Warnings: Heavy dissociation | Implied internalized transphobia | Self-deprication Wip: To The End Characters: Thea Rivera

: Taglist - @vacantgodling @artie5o5 :

Let me know if you want to be added/removed !

//

They were being watched. Reality was falling apart. 

Thea started at the floorboards of her entré hall— unfocused and detached. She’d been standing there ever since she’d returned to her apartment. It could’ve been for a few seconds or hours; there was no sure way to know. And that frightened her. 

A set of trembling hands lifted itself into view.

‘These are my hands.’ Thea reminded herself, flexing her fingers to prove it to be true. They felt… numb. She curled her hands into fists and dug her manicured nails into her palms. Nothing.

She dug harder and harder, reminding herself over and over again that these were her hands. Her chest was starting to churn; morphing into an empty pit before swelling. Back and forth, never giving Thea time to adjust to the feeling. As if trying to push her out of her own body. 

A sense of dread washed over her.

“No, no, no.” a static voice began to chime.

Thea dragged her ragdoll body over to the mirror. She’d had it for a while, it reminded her of the one in her childhood bedroom— only without the cracks from where she’d hit it. Standing in front of it, there wasn’t a single thing she recognized. 

Something was obscuring her sight; warping the image of herself into a bleary visage that no longer felt familiar. Was it even Thea she was looking at?

It should be her. It had to be her.

Numb fingers traced her face; the crooked nose and the scar that ran across it, the freckles kissing tanned skin, and the defined jawline. All of which should’ve come together to form the face of Thea Rivera, but now didn’t.

‘Did you take your meds?’ an urgent voice in her mind asked.

‘What does it matter?’ a monotonous voice replied.

‘Did you take your meds?’

‘This isn't real.’

‘I’m not real.’

A wave of anger— relentless and overwhelming— crashed into her. All that time. All that time she’d spent fixing herself, reshaping herself into something better. Something she could love unconditionally; it was all wasted.

The people who left her to rot had been right. There was no point to it. She was a lost cause.

‘I'm not real.’

She punched the stranger’s face, hopefully breaking her nose a second time. The satisfying crunch under her knuckles told her it had. Which wasn’t surprising. The stranger was as weak and fragile as glass— a pathetic excuse for a woman.

The relief was short-lived, as a strand of rustic blonde hair fell over her eyes. The sight gave her pause, before making her snap.

She’d been so proud once. So, so proud of how beautiful she was; how beautiful she could be. If only she’d known how meaningless it was.

Without a sound, she stormed further into the apartment. Knocking over picture frames and lamps as she did. Whoever owned them could die for all she cared. She threw open a drawer in the kitchen, sticking her hand in blindly to rummage around for whatever. She found it quickly, fingers knowing just how to curl around its handle as she brought it to her hair.

Snip!

The sound was just as satisfying as the breaking of glass bones. 

She did it again and again— her movements growing more uncoordinated until the blades were hacking away at her hair, rather than cutting it. The kitchen sink glimmered dully beneath locks of blonde.

White noise screamed in her ears. Every so often, she could make out voices in the dissonance. 

‘You dumb bitch! What are you doing?’

‘You’re fucking insane.’

“SHUT UP!”

She startled at the sudden sound— at the sudden toll on her vocal cords. She snapped around and threw the scissors at whoever had spoken. Reason told her it was the stranger, but there was no sign of her.

Whatever. It didn’t matter. Nothing did.

All of her accomplishments— her recoveries, her improvements, her achievements— they meant nothing.

Thea Rivera wasn’t real.

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

lined ittttt

it actually came out better than i thought :0 putting the sketch under the read more for context pff