hero-of-hope-blog

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Yusei had gotten quieter. Judai couldn't help but feel that it was because of his choice in conversation topic. But he couldn't really think of anything else to talk about that wouldn't set HIM on edge, so he persisted anyway.  "Yeah! And it was... just... so exciting, with that huge thing dropping down slowly on top of everything. I had a great seat, you know." He gave Yusei a thumbs up. "Right in the middle of the city." 

Judai nodded, fidgeting with the mug on the table now. “Yeah. I visited a lot back then, but I never stayed long. I heard about the WRGP and I wanted to watch, so I was in the city then.”

A slow grin spread across his face. “I got to watch that thing falling down on the city and the way you stepped up to the task of defeating it. It was … well, it was one of the best duels I’ve ever seen!”

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"Shou..."  Judai could feel his heart swelling with the love that Shou was giving him right now. It was nice to have that again, he wasn't going to lie, but... Gently, Judai placed a hand on top of Shou's head and ruffled his hair lightly. "I'm not alone, Shou. I have Yubel and my spirits. I meet new people all the time. It hurts sometimes, yes, but... life hurts sometimes. Please, don't be sad for my sake." He smiled at the boy, trying to be reassuring. 

hero-of-hope started following you

Seeing the tears in Shou’s eyes, Judai held his hands up quickly. “Whoa, whoa, it’s okay!” His smile grew a little wider now. “Life goes on. I’ve managed to find lots of little things to keep going.” Quickly, he winked. “You don’t have to worry about me. I have a lot of great memories to keep me company too.”

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"Sorry, sorry." Judai smiled a little more as he waved his hands vaguely. "It's just really hard to ignore Ruby. He's got such a high-pitched voice and he never stops talking and..." Okay, okay, enough excuses. Judai drew in a deep breath and looked at Chazz. "I should probably go. I'm getting the feeling it's not the best thing for me to be around you so much..." For either of them, it seemed. 

Judai held his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know! He wouldn’t leave if I didn’t ask though. See?” He looked down at the carbuncle who shook itself in displeasure before disappearing with an angry sound. 

Rubbing his face, Judai tried to smile a little at Chazz. “Sorry… Ruby… um… seems to have a thing for me getting physically close to people.” It didn’t make sense to him. He figured that Johan trained Ruby to be this way for… whatever reason. 

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Judai held his hands up in surrender. "I know, I know! He wouldn't leave if I didn't ask though. See?" He looked down at the carbuncle who shook itself in displeasure before disappearing with an angry sound.  Rubbing his face, Judai tried to smile a little at Chazz. "Sorry... Ruby... um... seems to have a thing for me getting physically close to people." It didn't make sense to him. He figured that Johan trained Ruby to be this way for... whatever reason. 

“Shhhh.” Judai finally managed to get Ruby to climb off of his shoulder and just hover around his feet. “Fine, I’ll ask, okay? But he’ll say no.”

With that, he looked up at Chazz and sighed heavily. “Ruby is FORCING me to ask you this, but…” Deep breath. “Can I put my hand down your pants?” Mood whiplash much? Why yes please. 

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"Shhhh." Judai finally managed to get Ruby to climb off of his shoulder and just hover around his feet. "Fine, I'll ask, okay? But he'll say no." With that, he looked up at Chazz and sighed heavily. "Ruby is FORCING me to ask you this, but..." Deep breath. "Can I put my hand down your pants?" Mood whiplash much? Why yes please. 

Judai glanced to the spirit on his shoulder and tried very hard to shoo the carbuncle away, back into the damn card. “Uh… I’ve had the Crystal Beasts ever since Johan died. He… made me promise to look after them.” Hence the promise he’d been keeping for over 50 years. “Shush, no Ruby. I don’t… no, it’s not a good idea, okay?”

Ruby was still insistent that kissing Chazz was a wonderful idea. And also Judai putting his hands down Chazz’s pants. “Erk…” 

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Judai nodded, fidgeting with the mug on the table now. "Yeah. I visited a lot back then, but I never stayed long. I heard about the WRGP and I wanted to watch, so I was in the city then." A slow grin spread across his face. "I got to watch that thing falling down on the city and the way you stepped up to the task of defeating it. It was ... well, it was one of the best duels I've ever seen!"

Judai was silent for a long time after that, sipping at his coffee and continuing to watch Yusei. It was weird. There were things that he had wanted to say to the younger man, but now that he was sitting RIGHT THERE, Judai couldn’t remember a single one of them.

“I watched you save the city, you know,” he commented finally, rather abruptly. “It was amazing!”

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Judai glanced to the spirit on his shoulder and tried very hard to shoo the carbuncle away, back into the damn card. "Uh... I've had the Crystal Beasts ever since Johan died. He... made me promise to look after them." Hence the promise he'd been keeping for over 50 years. "Shush, no Ruby. I don't... no, it's not a good idea, okay?" Ruby was still insistent that kissing Chazz was a wonderful idea. And also Judai putting his hands down Chazz's pants. "Erk..." 

“Hmm… I really doubt that NO ONE likes you. I mean… Well, I guess I always acted kind of… uninterested…” Judai looked away, thoughtfully, scratching his cheek. “But that doesn’t mean you weren’t important…”

Maybe if he kissed Chazz again he’d stop being so upset. … that might also be a really bad idea too, but Ruby was totally for it and suddenly appeared on Judai’s shoulder to egg him on. 

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"Hmm... I really doubt that NO ONE likes you. I mean... Well, I guess I always acted kind of... uninterested..." Judai looked away, thoughtfully, scratching his cheek. "But that doesn't mean you weren't important..." Maybe if he kissed Chazz again he'd stop being so upset. ... that might also be a really bad idea too, but Ruby was totally for it and suddenly appeared on Judai's shoulder to egg him on. 

Augh, this was too much for Chazz. Damn. Judai held his hands up, a little uncertainly. “This is just… how it is where I’m from. I’m getting the feeling that everything’s different for everyone. I just… you’re… still really important to me, either way.” Ugh. Emotions were still such a hard thing to express.

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Augh, this was too much for Chazz. Damn. Judai held his hands up, a little uncertainly. "This is just... how it is where I'm from. I'm getting the feeling that everything's different for everyone. I just... you're... still really important to me, either way." Ugh. Emotions were still such a hard thing to express.

Judai rubbed the back of his head. “Ahaha… Maybe that’s a bit too much information, huh? I’m not kidding, though. Not even a little bit. You’re… really important to both of us.” Johan hadn’t ever FULLY gotten over Manjoume’s death either. It… was just a constant point of sorrow.

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Judai rubbed the back of his head. "Ahaha... Maybe that's a bit too much information, huh? I'm not kidding, though. Not even a little bit. You're... really important to both of us." Johan hadn't ever FULLY gotten over Manjoume's death either. It... was just a constant point of sorrow.

“Heh. You’re waaay too surprised about this.” Judai grinned a little. “You and me, yeah. It took us until we were nearly forty to do anything about it, but I’d been wanting to for a long time. You were just… kind of with Johan, so I wasn’t sure what to do…” He shrugged a little, almost helplessly. “How was I supposed to know you both wanted me in on it too?”

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"Heh. You're waaay too surprised about this." Judai grinned a little. "You and me, yeah. It took us until we were nearly forty to do anything about it, but I'd been wanting to for a long time. You were just... kind of with Johan, so I wasn't sure what to do..." He shrugged a little, almost helplessly. "How was I supposed to know you both wanted me in on it too?"

Well, okay, that particular plan worked a hell of a lot better than Judai had actually planned for it to work. It was… even amusing to see Chazz so obviously flustered by the action. It had been a long time since he’d seen him so flustered at all about anything.

Judai rubbed the back of his head and glanced away, laughing a little awkwardly. “Because I love you.” Wow. It had never been so easy to say those words. He supposed he’d just wanted to say them to this particular person for so long that they came smoothly. “We were��� um… in a relationship. Before you died, I mean…” 

[hero-of-hope-blog]

Magic Anons, Sexual Anons, Funny Anons, Inquisitive Anons! Feel free to come get me!

[hero-of-hope-blog]

Well, okay, that particular plan worked a hell of a lot better than Judai had actually planned for it to work. It was... even amusing to see Chazz so obviously flustered by the action. It had been a long time since he'd seen him so flustered at all about anything. Judai rubbed the back of his head and glanced away, laughing a little awkwardly. "Because I love you." Wow. It had never been so easy to say those words. He supposed he'd just wanted to say them to this particular person for so long that they came smoothly. "We were... um... in a relationship. Before you died, I mean..." 

It was best to come clean. Right? Judai had been hiding from what he’d done for so long, it was hard. Really hard. To try and tell Chazz what a horrible person Judai was? Don’t worry. He’ll forgive you someday. Just stop freaking out so much. Ugh.

Judai stood up slowly, moving to hug Chazz lightly again, just for a moment, before he kissed the boy quickly and soundly on the lips. It might be the only time he ever got to do that again. Might as well take advantage of it. “I ran away,” he stated bluntly as he let go of Chazz and moved back. He almost hoped that the kiss stunned the boy enough that he wouldn’t get too upset over this. “I ran away when you died. Before you died even. I couldn’t bear to see it. I didn’t even… try to deal with it. I just left you. I… I’m sorry.”

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It was best to come clean. Right? Judai had been hiding from what he'd done for so long, it was hard. Really hard. To try and tell Chazz what a horrible person Judai was? Don't worry. He'll forgive you someday. Just stop freaking out so much. Ugh. Judai stood up slowly, moving to hug Chazz lightly again, just for a moment, before he kissed the boy quickly and soundly on the lips. It might be the only time he ever got to do that again. Might as well take advantage of it. "I ran away," he stated bluntly as he let go of Chazz and moved back. He almost hoped that the kiss stunned the boy enough that he wouldn't get too upset over this. "I ran away when you died. Before you died even. I couldn't bear to see it. I didn't even... try to deal with it. I just left you. I... I'm sorry."

Judai’s smile grew a little at the familiar prickliness. “I’m no good at breaking promises. I’ve been keeping one for over fifty years now. I think we’re good.” He tilted his head at Chazz thoughtfully. 

“I never knew you felt this way, Chazz,” he continued after a long moment of thought. “It… I wish I could slap some sense into myself for you. Then again, you do a pretty good job of that.” He let out a small laugh and then grew more sober again very suddenly. “Really… I’m sorry… for everything I’ve done to you… and… everything I’m going to do…”

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Judai's smile grew a little at the familiar prickliness. "I'm no good at breaking promises. I've been keeping one for over fifty years now. I think we're good." He tilted his head at Chazz thoughtfully. "I never knew you felt this way, Chazz," he continued after a long moment of thought. "It... I wish I could slap some sense into myself for you. Then again, you do a pretty good job of that." He let out a small laugh and then grew more sober again very suddenly. "Really... I'm sorry... for everything I've done to you... and... everything I'm going to do..."

With a gentle squeeze, Judai finally let go of Chazz to move back enough to look at his face. “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on telling anyone anything about you. Okay?” On some instinct, he brought a hand up to cup Chazz’s cheek, trying to brush away some of the tears.

“…do you feel any better? I know crying can help sometimes.” He smiled. It was small, but more sincere than most smiles he gave nowadays.

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With a gentle squeeze, Judai finally let go of Chazz to move back enough to look at his face. "Don't worry. I don't plan on telling anyone anything about you. Okay?" On some instinct, he brought a hand up to cup Chazz's cheek, trying to brush away some of the tears. "...do you feel any better? I know crying can help sometimes." He smiled. It was small, but more sincere than most smiles he gave nowadays.

“I wouldn’t, Chazz… Trust me. I’m a terrible liar, I don’t even try when it’s important.” Judai rubbed small circles on Chazz’s back, trying to be as comforting as possible. It had been a long time since he had hugged someone - anyone - like this though. It was… strange.

“…alright. I… I’m here for you, okay? You can… just let it out if you need to…”

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"I wouldn't, Chazz... Trust me. I'm a terrible liar, I don't even try when it's important." Judai rubbed small circles on Chazz's back, trying to be as comforting as possible. It had been a long time since he had hugged someone - anyone - like this though. It was... strange. "...alright. I... I'm here for you, okay? You can... just let it out if you need to..."

Watching the rapid disintegration, Judai couldn’t help but feel guilty. Thoughts of Manjoume always left him feeling guilty, of course, but this was worse. “…Chazz…” The moment the boy hit the ground, Judai was down next to him, kneeling close, a hand resting on Chazz’s shoulder in an attempt at comfort.

“Please… I… I promise it doesn’t take me as long as you think. And there are so many people who care about you. Just please don’t…” He trailed off and threw his inhibitions to the wind, wrapping his arms around Chazz in a light hug. “Don’t cry. I can’t stand it…” The man he’d known had always feigned so much outer strength. It was a hell to see how he had really felt on the inside.