hesnotavillain

[hesnotavillain]

its always like be careful this song might become a memory. this cologne might become a memory. this brand of beer might become a memory. i time travel all the time

[hesnotavillain]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

[hesnotavillain]

I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

[hesnotavillain]

SEVERANCE season 1 finale / season 2 finale

[hesnotavillain]

1.09: "The We We Are"

[hesnotavillain]

SEVERANCE (2022 - )

[hesnotavillain]

New Britt Lower and Adam Scott photoshoot

[hesnotavillain]

#SETHMILCHICK: it means eat shit, mr. drummond.

[hesnotavillain]

out of everything that just happened i think mpreg kier was probably the craziest

[hesnotavillain]

idk about y’all but i think a woman who is clearly very smart, who has been severance-experimented on for two years and has 25 innies, who just experienced a severance moment and who just reunited with her husband who was covered in blood just to find her and couldn’t stand to not be kissing and holding her for a single second… i think she can put two and two together and recognise that it’s not her mark who turned away from her. she’s heartbroken because he either was also made to sever or chose to sever (either option is painful!) and because they were just reunited and now he is being taken away from her again but i sincerely doubt she doesn’t realise that he’s not the same guy. put some respect on my woman’s name honestly.

[hesnotavillain]

SEVERANCE / Emily Dickinson

[hesnotavillain]

Dead wife plots usually annoy the fuck out of me so shout out to severance for 1) making it interesting and 2) making it SO CLEAR that Mark is in love with his wife. Like it’s clearly not just a token “oh no, look at the sad thing in his backstory” moment. They actually wrote a man who lost the love of his life in a tragedy and hasn’t been okay since. Mad respect

[hesnotavillain]

SEVERANCE 2.04 | Woe's Hollow

[hesnotavillain]

is there still anyone here?

it's trully been ages and tbh i almost didn't remembered the right email or password. i was creating an account on substack, since apparently that's a thing now (or has been forever and i'm only now finding about bc people are sharing theirs on my timeline) bc i was feeling like writing to no one really, just to put some feelings into words and then i remembered this "place" exists.

so funny (and cringe, obviously) getting to see how i spent years and years and lived through so much mental illness and so many fictional obsessions. this is like a museum of a lifetime, im not kidding.

writing this is also making me see how fucking bad my english actually is nowadays (if it was ever better)

let's see. im 23. got in college last year. quit my antidepressants the year before - which was also the year the guy i was seeing (because surprise surprise, you're bi!) and didn't have much expectations on became my boyfriend and potential future husband. i love him very much and we laugh a lot together. ngl i do miss women sometimes tho. just that specific sapphic atmosphere you know? dont really see myself away from it for the rest of my life. i mean, that just sounds like a very long time.

oh! i started the gym very recently. cant say that it changed my life yet, but honestly im hoping on that. it doesnt really have to change my life, but if it gets me some dopamine to go through my days with a nice ass as a bonus, i'll be happy. eating is not really the problem, cooking is. im too fucking lazy and this is actually the biggest fucking rock on my shoes. is that even a saying outside brazil? anyway.

i want to say i miss being a teenager, like maybe being 16-19 but man how can i say this when i was so fucking miserable mentally for way before that. im way better now, but sometimes i miss it and i know that really the only thing i miss is not having a real thought about anything that concerns real life because i was too drowned on gay content and too engaged with my internet friends. lmao. that sure was the life huh.

i dont think this writing exercise is working, but i also dont know what there is to 'work' really. i feel like there's a zillion subjects travelling aroung my mind all the time and i wanna deal with each but never know where to start so i guess that explains the messines.

im kinda excited to turn 30 (in a I'm Totally Romanticizing Turning 30 From Now On Because I Believe I'll Be At My Finest Era slightly delusional way). (if global warming even let us get there without massively destructing my mediocre reality). im also scared of the day i'll lose my loved ones. i feel like for the first time in my life im starting to understand that there's just so much life to live. so much life. how can every single possible thing, even the good ones, result on anxiety tho.

im already tired of this (writing) and dont know how to finish but for now i guess the substancial thing i can't forget is that i made it to right here and i'm the one who can get me to right there. so. just keep rolling my dudes.

[hesnotavillain]

oh man

[hesnotavillain]

Obi-Wan Kenobi - episode 1 and episode 2 + tumblr text posts

[hesnotavillain]

leia and her uncle (grandfather) obi-wan own my whole heart and soul