hey-cringelord

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i’m not dead and gone yet…

i have returned with another metaltango edit ✍️

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it does look like an album cover, huh..

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Tumblr is super big on the "I didn't say it was good, I said I liked it" but really need to discover the value in its opposite of "I didn't say it was bad, I said I hated it".

You can acknowledge that something is good, great, a masterpiece even, and just straight-up not enjoy it.

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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

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this song

and the idea of ashley quickly developing an obsessive something over leon – not a crush, that’s too simple – during and after spain

"want your things in my room; i miss you all the time; i stalk myself on the internet just to see what you'd find [...] you make it look so easy leaving everything behind"

after her first rescue, ashley comes to appreciate him. relieved that she's no longer scared to do something as simple as turn a corner. when she's taken again, and then again, and then again, that's when the wanting kicks in. thinks about leon's lost jacket and how she wishes it was in her hands, around her shoulders. thinks about it hanging in her closet at home.

once it's over, when she's home, after leon leaves and she's not forced into his proximity, she misses him. in the dark loneliness of her room at night, reminiscent of spain, she imagines him walking in to save her. from what, she doesn't know, but she wants leon there. wonders what he'd think of her, saved and safe in her bed, phone flipping open and closed in her restlessness. its screen flashing towards her bedroom door. towards her window. both places leon could come in through at any point. flips it open to flick through her socials, looking at herself through leon's eyes, wondering if he misses her next to him as much as she misses him next to her.

grows flush, blushing with butterflies in her belly, to irritated at a speed that can only be blamed by the events of spain. quick to temper, to anger, to upset. hates how easily leon left her on the doorstep, and how he hasn't texted the number she left in one of his pockets.

"i'd slit my own throat just to see if you'd mourn me"

a recurring thought after her and leon reconnect - in ashley's mind they have, at least, even if it was in an official setting. he looked... leon. ashley had missed his face more than she thought she did, missed how he peered at her through overgrown bangs and the perpetual exhaustion in his features. wonders if she looks how she did in spain to him, helpless and desperate, or if it was clear in her expression how much she wants him to be hers.

when leon leaves, nothing but a friendly pat to her shoulder, ashley wonders if they'd tell him about dying by her own hand. it hurts, familiar but not as much as she wants it to be. she has hugged him before, nearly on top of him after wiping the parasite from his body, and struggled with the friendly pats to her arm then. now, months later, missing leon in her personal bubble so much her entire soul is a yawning void, to receive the same treatment? it won't leave her alone.

she thinks he doesn't miss her. she thinks leon has labelled her as another mission finished in his mind. she thinks, in leon's eyes, she was just a helpless thing - a crying cat stuck in a tree he had to coax down with sweet words and a careful touch.

"you look so cool i wanna die; is it too soon to say what's on my mind"

a recurring thought of ashley's in spain. wrong place, wrong time, everything is wrong. but her admiration for leon runs through her like the blood in her veins, and she wants to praise him. wants to see if it'd lighten the dark shadows from his face even the slightest. she tries to, in a sense - the armor, the chandelier jump, everything - but leon brushes her off until the very end.

[hey-cringelord]

the reaction I’m having to these screencaps is very similar to what someone getting electrocuted looks like

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Happy Tie Him Up Tuesday!!!

More Harness Leon ehehe (no-squiggle version on bsky)

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Jack Krauser in Resident Evil 4 Remake (2023)

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2-part 18+ ashley & leon 💞

chapter one is leshley. chapter two is ashleon :)

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i don’t typically get deep into fandoms with darker content (self-titled horror lover, btw) and have, up until now, hung around in shonen and sports anime the most

as a writer, it’s hard to branch out past the same few AUs and smutfics within fandoms that can be labelled as lighthearted. with shonen, you can only go so far with enemies to lovers or body horror and whatnot. sports anime at its core holds very few dark tropes, if it has a collection of tropes at all

so getting into resevil has surely been a treat! got me out of my writer’s block, for one thing, and has endless possibilities when it comes to potential plotlines. additionally, its laced with a number of dynamics and a wide mix of light and dark themes, so flipping between the fluff and the dubious has been really fun :) both in tag scrolling and in fanfics i’ve written so far :)

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playing claire’s RE2r story

no longer have to imagine what leon would look like in a dog’s cage, capcom’s providing the visuals themselves

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EDIT: I had to supercensor this one, tumblr doesn't want it to exist, sorry. Star-less version is here on bsky as usual

Happy fuck-him-up Friday!!

Some sort of science is happening ╮(￣▽￣"")╭

and here's some bonus sketches:

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once on a mission

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idiot

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leon

[hey-cringelord]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream, and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, first clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind bloging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine ting, thirsty, thursting all day without stopping, till nothing left, satisfied, non-stop, every single sec, crawling, back hurt, cramp legs, can't walk for 5 years, don't care, still non-stop, him oiled up makes me turned on even more, screaming without s, him whimpers makes my inside giggling, in heat, everyday, till the neighbors hear us, till the neighbors can remember his name perfectly, even earthquake, thunderstorm, heavy rain, typhoon, we still keep going, broke bed, everyday buy a new bed, hole floor, gasping for air, crying, gripping his back, leave a bite marks and red marks on his neck and every spot, scratching his back, leaves a scars on his back, phenomenal, month foaming, heavenly awakening, id still bounce on it, body numbling, back worthy, hair drenced, flabbergasting, down break, whimpering our names, till the neighbors decide to move, legs spread automatically, DOWN BAD, ON MY KNEES, WOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOOF WOOFWOROFKKENFOECOENFEOKFOEOFOFOOFOFOFOFOFOF,WOOOOFFFFFFFF, MEOOOWWMEEOOWWWME000WWWwWW GREERRRRR ILL TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL, GRRERGGRRGRGR ONE MORE CHANCE, BARKING SOWO00000 OOFFFF GUESS THIS IS WILD BUT I DONT GIV A SHITT