heyokaooohshiny

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people are literally so boring a male character will kill 10000 people and steal candy from babies and theyll be like omg thats my king! but a female character is rude once and theyre like i hope she dies violently

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Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

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I hate that as Indigenous people, we have to slowly explain the concept of LandBack to basically every colonizer.

Like no we're not going to just throw you out, or put you in camps, or any of that shit. We just want to be able to take care of our ancestral land and be the ones in charge of protecting it.

Like I know these people were raised with a colonial mindset but after a while I just start to lose sympathy.

Like oh you're worried about having your home violently ripped out from under you?? What a fucking tragedy.

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Wheat fields are more mystical than fields of other crops. You are 7,000 times more likely to meet an old god or see a portent of doom in a wheat field than in a field of like… soybeans.

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heart to heart, i summon thee anchor to anchor, return to me. bring back the one who holds my soul from the ashes, make him whole

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okay this reminded me of the strongest human being (I use that label with some reservation) I have ever met and I still think about him like once a week because about 4 years ago on Thanksgiving night my sister, cousin, and I were going to pick up a friend about a 40 minute drive from home, and I got lost and tried to turn around on a little gravel pull-off on the side of the road, but my front tires got stuck in the snow.

we were in the middle of nowhere with no cell reception, and the only sign of life was a single, completely dark house across the road from us.

We all did our best to push the car out, and we’re strong people, but we couldn’t make it budge. Cold and stuck, we climbed back and wondered what to do. A car full of men pulled over beside us and asked if we needed help, but getting out of our locked car on a backroad at night with strange men felt like a bad idea, so we said a tow was coming and waved them along. We did that twice before finally deciding our only option was to accept the next offer for help and just risk it,

when a man came out of the house across the street.

He’d clearly been watching us and figured out why we’d been lying to people, which really surprised me & he said “it’s okay, you can stay in your car and keep the doors locked. Just start backing up when I say so.”

I had the window cracked and told him “it’s too stuck. There’s no way we’re getting out. Could you call a tow?”

And he said “just back up when I say so.”

So he walked around the front of the car, squatted, and said “okay back up,”

and I did, and

he lifted

the front of the car Into The Air. Off its front wheels, and we backed up while he essentially wheel-barrowed us back onto the road.

And we were honest to god yelling. We couldn’t help it. We just yelled until all four wheels were back on the ground and he was waving us off while we thanked him.

And then I looked at my sister and cousin & said “he REALLY told us we can KEEP our doors locked as if THAT WOULD’VE FUCKING STOPPED HIM!!!! As if he couldn’t have just RIPPED EM OFF THE HINGES.”

I later looked up the weight of my car, and it’s 3200 pounds without anything or anyone in it.

This haunts me.

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Aaauugh!! How many times do I flip to A03 during the day?!!! So many!!! My adhd/trauma brain wants its dissassociation blankie!!!!

[heyokaooohshiny]

you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

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Jaskier's necklace includes two ring this season unlike the one in the previous season.

I now imagine that he got the second ring from Yennefer. A parting gift from his wife, for good luck.

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today I recited Shakespeare to a small army of eight-year-olds

So last week an email got sent round my college asking if anyone wanted to read some poetry to primary school kids and I was the only one who responded and I asked if I could do some Shakespeare, since I have quite a lot of experience with it, and the teacher said that would be fine.

So I was discussing with friends what I should do and they said ‘er yeah, don’t do Shakespeare.’ And I was like ‘what why’ and they went ’well, maybe if they’re over 10 but otherwise you’ll just get blank looks’ and I went ‘well I don’t want to insult their intelligence’ and then another friend was like ‘hey you should do that kid’s song ‘When I Was One’, they’ll like that!!’ (it’s a really babyish song for toddlers with silly actions) and I thought about it and was ‘like nah actually, I’ll do the ‘Once more unto the breach’ speech’

So I learned that over the week, and I was walking up to the school, and the whole way I was thinking ‘Oh god this was a terrible idea they’re going to hate it, they’re going to look at me blankly like those kids in The Polar Express, my friends were right it’s going to be a disaster’, and I was there early, so I sat in the classroom for the first half an hour, got given a cupcake by some kids from a different class, said hello to some of the kids in my class, they got a look at me.

At half 2 the teacher mentioned I would be reading some poetry, and I asked if we could go outside, which she was more than happy to allow, and the kids were all so confused (‘where are we going? Isn’t it only poetry?’) and we got onto the field, the teacher got them all to stand an arm’s length apart from each other, so I could walk around them, and I did a brief overview of where the scene came in the play, how the king is on the battlefield, talking to his soldiers (“Could all you be the soldiers?” “Yes!!”) and they’re attacking the French, who are all in a castle (forgot it’s really a castle town), and they’re attacking them through a gap in the wall, the breach. Me and the teacher emphasised that if there was anything they didn’t understand, that was completely fine and they could ask me at the end. I asked the kids to watch for when I held my fist in the air, which is when they had to cheer loudly, we had a practise at that, and then I did the speech.

Everything I had been scared about evaporated. All the kids were totally engaged, they were all watching me, they all listened right the way through, I saw lots of excited faces, and they all cheered really well at the end.

Afterwards, there was a lot of chatter, several of them asked me questions (”how do you remember all those words?”, “what did you mean when you talked about nostrils?”), one boy asked me to do it again, they were all really lovely and had genuinely enjoyed it. It was so much fun, and they especially loved it when I told them how my big college friends had told me not to do Shakespeare because they wouldn’t like it. Those kids 100% proved them wrong

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This whole Titan thing is darkly funny to me because this is exactly what the first Billionaire in space escapade is going to look like.

Like, if SpaceX or Boeing ever get a space hotel up this is what is going to happen. It won't be certified by any agency because that just slows things down. Emergency beacons? Eh who needs them we just won't have an emergency. A docking port compatible with emergency rescue vehicles? Why ever would we need that just bolt people in.

Musk is going to get halfway to Mars and the engines are going to snap off his Ship Of Innovation.

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Geralts face in the first gif can only be Jaskier related. Or Ciri AND Jaskier related. 🤣

#THANEDD COUP IS UPON US

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I'm aliiive for these tags 🤣

Jaskier's new song is called what

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My two cents here, but I'm holding out that Jaskiers hot girl summer means Geraskierfer. Because soft Geralt? Soft Jennifer? Parenting feels? Yeah.

The Radovid thing I think might be part of a Jaskier side quest that involves surveilance to keep his Witcher Fam safe, his elves safe, AND him pushing his luck with the Redanian secret service.

The idea of Radovid doesn't sound like it's a true Jaskier romance it sounds like Bard artifice to me. But hunny go get some!! 😘 I think he can easily do it all AND rescue Ciri, lol.

But where does the plot line from Blood Origin kick in?

Yes dear. Everyone needs you.

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There are a few things I will always believe about Teen Wolf

Scott was not the main character.

Scott was not a good friend.

Stiles deserved way more credit for everything he did.

Sterek is real.

Calling Scott ‘Scoot’ and adopting Eli while throwing out the rest of the movie are the two funniest things this fandom has ever done.