hidden-pieces-of-me

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

why did you even come back and give me hope if you were just gonna leave again? 😭

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

you said you've learnt from your mistakes

but you were too willing to forget

maybe you just wanted your love reciprocated

or proof that it hadn't all been wasted

you convince yourself that you've dodged a bullet

but that feeling of being unheard and unloved?

that's the worst you get

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

fucking 22 days

every night i extend the streak and wonder how long this one will last because everyday it's a fucking battle. the thoughts never leave but i find reasons to stop. i wonder when the reasons will stop being enough and I'll be back where i was.

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

It’s not working…

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

every night i extend the streak and wonder how long this one will last because everyday it's a fucking battle. the thoughts never leave but i find reasons to stop. i wonder when the reasons will stop being enough and I'll be back where i was.

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

I've always felt like I've been disconnected to my emotions. i feel too much, yet nothing at all. i honestly don't know when it's real and when it's pretending.

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

bleed until i dont breathe

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

after all this time i should be used to people leaving yet it hurts

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

I'm too sad to see you go and I'm too lonely to cry alone

I regret the way i hurt you and i fear the way i love you

I wish for your pain to go away and i hope you'll be in a better place

I hate saying goodbyes

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

i laid in the steady flow of the river

the quiet waves soothing my mind

i dreamt of things i hadn't thought in a while

i pulled myself underwater

the water came rushing around my head

and i felt your presence, muffled, but always there

gradually the waves started rising and the currents swelled

my body protested against the resulting threat

although suffocated i found myself reluctant to leave

and i wondered at the temptation to drown

what once had been gentle soon became dangerous

but the comfort it had provided made me weak

and that made letting everything fall really easy

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

healing's not linear.

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

i'm sorry for all the people i hurt. i didn't mean to and i'm sorry

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

do you miss me? somedays i miss you too much i can't breathe. other days i hate you for leaving me so easily. i try not to think about you. i try not to think about anything.

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

— @eternaldroplets on x (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

what the hell happened how did things change so drastically??? the people i care for so much let me go so easily did i really not matter to them???? no one even tried to listen to me ffs. my sense of identity is ruined i don't know what to fucking believe i hate myself i deserve this (do i really deserve this??)

[hidden-pieces-of-me]

you let me go. you said nothing would come between us but you didn't even try to save us. was i really that easy to let go of? why didn't you try?? i loved you sm why didn't that matter why'd let me go why