hiddenforgood

[hiddenforgood]

woke up today feeling like forgiving my parents for all the trauma they put me into. i know there is still a massive chance of this feeling be turned upside down but the fact that i have hours of life thinking about it means my progress is right over there. it might take some time before i can conclude something out of this but right now im happy. haopy and observing myself. thats enough.

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woke up today feeling like accepting tatay again but every time i think about his actions his immaturity his incapability of learning his willingness to be not better brings me all the way back to rage :)

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there are people who believes their one great love is can be found outside a healthy relationship and if ever you find yourself taking care of a person who believes and actualizes this, leave. or run or detach or set boundaries. whoever you are who relates to this, directly or indirectly, know that it is not your responsibility to redirect them to healthier choices. you dont have to remind of them of what is morally right and wrong because chances are they already know it. they are just willing to neglect this. these are the people who are aware of the things they can sacrifice as they move along their goals which are often than not is have a family regardless of the number of family members that entails. leave them be.

a penny from watching greys anatomy

[hiddenforgood]

i don't like allowing people see me break

[hiddenforgood]

Learn to understand then use what you understood for kindness.

when i was younger, i used to think i have to learn to understand. there's nothing wrong with that. it only means there is something i want to be able to relate, to think about, to talk about -- to simply understand. i think everyone has that time in their life where we want to stop being the one who asks questions and be the one who have the answers. and i learnt all that until i was 22.

i used to think i should deserve a medal or something for figuring that on my own. now at 23, where i've been subjected to different situations both intentionally and unwarranted, i have learnt that learning to understand should not stop there. i have realized that after learning to understand, i have the responsibility to use what i finally understood to kindness.

without kindness in that picture of learning, there is so much room for strictness, unhealthy boundaries, heartlessness and apathy. i was always reminded that people should be better, people should be able to know this and that, people should be able to do this and that, but in reality people just don't. they just dont. and thats not because of them not wanting to know but because of several other factors to be considered. that out there is literally hell on earth making every people living in it make mistakes, make misjudgments, misunderstandings. all of it is because people is a living and thinking being. and by that, there is much room for growth and we all know grow entails unpleasant things first. the flowery realizations comes next.

so the next time i have the energy and will to confront, impose, unsolicitedly reprimand, i can always go back to learning to understand and use it for kindness. instead of going on and on to somebody about whats the right thing, i'll try to be the person that put kindness first. that if i have the idea of what is right, i have to think twice or even thrice if what i will say will be unkind or apathetic to the receiving end. and that i will not use what i understand for anything but kindness.

02-18-23

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no.1 goal: to be able to afford choices.

hated feeling/situation: being misunderstood.

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i think 2023 is teaching me how to acknowledge that i am in fact easily hurt but ive spent my life not admitting that so life sucks and i hate it

[hiddenforgood]

The Language Of Flowers

Acacia: Hidden love, beauty in withdrawal

Amaryllis: Pride, a hard won success

Anemone: Vanishing hopes

Bells of Ireland: Wish for good luck

Carnation: Fascination, love and distinction

Daffodil (Narcissus): Honesty and truth

Dahlia flower: Warnings and change

Daisy: Innocence, loyal love and purity

Delphinium: Open heart, ardent attachement

Gardenia: Symbol of secret love

Gladiolus: Remembrance, faithfulness and sincerity

Hyacinth: I'm sorry, please forgive me.

Iris: Eloquence

Lily (general) : Purity of the heart and refined beauty

Lily of the valley: Return of happiness

Marigold: Passion and creativity

Orchid: Beauty, refinement and love

Peony: Happy marriage

Lavender: Love at first sight

Red rose: Love, respect, courage and passion

White rose: Purity, secrecy, silence, innocence and charm

Sunflower: Good luck and ambition

Tulip: Irresistible love

Violet: Faithfulness, modesty and delicate love

Zinnia: Lasting affection, daily remembrance and good memories

[hiddenforgood]

collection of something yellow from our baguio trip 2022

may 2022 | baguio ph

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still learning how to manage a creative & planner journal while sticking to my own resources. i still can't create a monthly theme so pantone nalang muna lalaruin ko.

01 21 2023 | marker practice page

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what do you hate about money daw uhm the fact that it runs out?

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dec 4 2022 | enchanted kingdom

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“Educate yourself. When a question about a certain topic pops up, google it. Watch movies and documentaries. When something sparks your interest, read about it. Read read read. Study, learn, stimulate your brain. Don’t just rely on the school system, educate that beautiful mind of yours.”

— Unknown

[hiddenforgood]

is this what it feels like to be afraid of ruining what we are building?

[hiddenforgood]

8 billion people and still no one has emerged claiming they have super powers. disappointing.

[hiddenforgood]

im 22, turning 23 next month. will take the boards around this time next year. if i fail, i'll take a gap year to review-- i'll be 24 if i pass, job at 24 if i fail again, hopefully, job at 24 w/o license and up until i get the license, i wont apply for masteral yep im definitely in the pressured years between my 2 eras of knowing what to do next ---college years & masteral years

12 nov 2022

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nov 06 2022 | starcity