hidingcoyote

[hidingcoyote]

Your parental f/o is so proud of you. They are eager to help you reach your milestones and goals at your own pace, and excited to celebrate those achievements with you. They are happy to see you gain independence and confidence. They love knowing that you can ask them for help when you need it. They are always amazed by the person you have grown into, and are so grateful to have been part of that journey. Above all, they love you more than anything in the whole world, and they will always remind you of that fact.

[hidingcoyote]

definitely don't imagine your f/o reading aloud to you. don't imagine being tucked into their side, their arm draped around your shoulder, fingers tracing patterns on the crown of your head. also, don't imagine having your head laid on their chest, listening to their heartbeat and the soft thrum of their voice as they read the words from the page. don't imagine how the soft glow of light from the floor lamp that hangs above you casts golden contours over their profile. don't imagine how warm they are or how good they smell. definitely do not do that.

[hidingcoyote]

"I missed you..."

Imagine your brother f/o pulling you in for a big, big hug after spending some time apart. Maybe it's been a couple weeks, or a couple months-- maybe even a couple of years-- since you last were in his presence.

It doesn't matter how little or long the time between you has been; the moment he sees you, his eyes light up like a kid on his birthday- he smiles that signature goofy smile he only ever reserves for you!

Stars alive, but he adores you! He can't help but laugh and playfully shake you around as he sweeps you up in his arms, that nickname he's only ever called you slipping past his lips with such warmth, such familiarity-- you can't help but feel that in that embrace, you know you're home and by the way he hugs you just a little tighter, you know he feels it too ♡

[hidingcoyote]

"it's going to get bad again." i grit my teeth, shaking my head. "i can't do this. i can't. i can't."

donny is quiet for a moment. i don't want to see what his expression is---i can't handle his pity. i squeeze my eyes shut, baring my teeth at an invisible enemy. anger and fear thrums through me like electricity.

"i know," he says eventually. "but you know i'm not going to hurt you. i would never do that to you."

"that's what they said, too," i say quietly, all the venom in my words dampened by my wobbling composure, biting back tears, "it's what they all say."

the silence between us is tense. i feel like bolting. my body refuses to move, stuck frozen in a half-fetal position. i want to scream at him. i want to bite and thrash and claw until both of us are left bleeding.

as it is, i can barely breathe.

i hear donny shift. i watch him in the corner of my eye, vision slightly blurred. his movements are slow, telegraphed.

"i won't hurt you," he repeats, firm and gentle all at once. "if it scares you this much, we don't have to do this. but i just want to help."

my throat hurts. i bury my face in my paws, trembling all over. i know innately that i've disappointed him. how could i be so selfish? why the fuck am i making this all about me?

"fang, can you look at me?"

i don't want him to see. i shake my head, sniffling.

"okay, that's okay. is it okay if i touch you?"

i don't deserve it. i nod anyway.

i feel his three-fingered palm settle on my shoulder. his thumb makes slow circles along the blade, near feather-light.

"i'm not disappointed, fang," he murmurs. "i'm not angry. i'm just worried. i don't like seeing you suffer."

i lean into the contact, fighting the urge to jump into my older brother's arms and hide in his embrace. hide from the constant illness that plagues my body. hide from the fact that i'm broken and making it everyone's problem.

my mouth opens and closes, sounds struggling to wrestle their way from my tightening chest and lumped throat. "scared of doctors," i manage to rasp out. "i'm sorry."

"no, i'm sorry. i'm sorry for scaring you. i didn't mean to try and pressure you into a procedure or check-up." that gets me to finally look up. donny's staring at the hand he's rested on my shoulder, mouth twisted into a frown. the pure guilt on his face wrenches at my heart. "you don't have to tell me what happened, but... shell, fang, i'm so sorry."

it's all in my head, anyway, i almost say. i clamp my jaw shut.

"i'm going to have to take a look at you sometimes, but i would never, ever hurt you. whatever they did--" he stops. anger sparks at the edges of the sentence, and he audibly takes a breath. "that wasn't right. you didn't deserve that."

a sob chokes out of me at those words. i don't believe them, but something so small, so childish, so scared desperately wants to. i finally give into the urge and fall into his plastron, where he immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

his hug isn't tight like raph's, or warm like splinter's, but it's gentle, and safe, and protective. like if he could, he'd travel through dimensions to beat the asses of everyone who'd ever hurt me.

he probably would somehow find a way to do so, if papa wasn't there to rein him in. just the thought causes me to laugh wetly.

"i'm not a therapist, but we'll figure out how to manage your trauma," he says against my forehead. "preferably without sending you out into the wilderness, like we did with leo."

that statement jars me enough i almost bump his jaw with my head. "huh?"

"long story," he snorts. "i was mostly kidding. but we'll figure it out. you just have to trust me, okay?"

something almost like hope alights in my rib cage. it frightens me. i lean into my older brother, nuzzling his chest. "...i'll try."

[hidingcoyote]

btw, your f/o is very proud of you for what you've done today!! even if it was just get dressed or brush your teeth! that's okay!! they're still very proud of you!!

(pro/dark ship + if you age up minors romantically/support it - do not interact please!)

[hidingcoyote]

Soft F/O imagine because I can.

Imagine your f/o, noticing you're tired, and picking you up off the couch, bringing you to bed, and cuddling with you until you fall asleep, curled up in their warmth and safety ♡

Not Proship Friendly

[hidingcoyote]

Imagine your f/o noticing you’re upset when you don’t feel like talking about it.

They’ll ask if you want to talk, but when you say you don’t, they say they’re there for you and leave. You think that’s that, but a few minutes later they come back with your favourite drink/snack and ask if you’d like to do something.

They’d be happy with whatever you feel like- going for a drive, playing a game, chatting about something other than what’s worrying you, anything that’ll help take your mind off it. It might not fix whatever’s happened, but they always know how to make you laugh.

(for any kind of f/o)

[ pr0ship dni]

[hidingcoyote]

genuinely been feeling abysmal due to doctors and my illness. but imagining my family comforting me helps

[hidingcoyote]

Imagine your parent f/o laying in bed, eyes closed, little you's laying on their topish/sideish, their arm is laid over you. This is the most comfortable they've been in their life

[hidingcoyote]

just a reminder that your familial f/os love you!! regardless of what type they are, if they're biological or found family, they're so glad they get to call you their family and they are so so proud of you <3

proship dni

[hidingcoyote]

my tail lashes to and fro beside me as i sit curled up on the couch. i can hear mikey in the kitchen, clashing dishes together. donny's welder zapping loudly at his work station. the tv in front of me is on, flashing lights, the audio loud and obtrusive. papa sits beside me, chattering occasionally to me about the ridiculous soap opera on screen.

i grit my teeth until my jaw aches. my claws dig into my forearm, clenched. my nerves dance beneath my itching skin, a bundle of energy tight and coiled in my chest like a snake about to strike.

i am going to kill someone, i think, unbidden, and bite down on my tongue harder.

be calm. be normal. don't bother anyone. get over it. get over it. get over it--

"yo, squirt." raph's voice jolts me into focus. i look over my shoulder as he leans against the back of the couch, cocking his head at me.

it makes me want to bite his face off. i stamp that urge down viciously.

he jabs his thumb over his shoulder. "punchin' bag?"

i hesitate. he knows. i glance over to splinter, who simply nods at me encouragingly. he apparently knew, too.

"sure," i reply, squashing down my shame at being so easily readable. i'm mostly just eager to finally get this horrible energy out of my system.

i follow raph to his room, where a spare punching bag resides. i'm grateful for it--a quieter, more secluded location is exactly what i need.

"y'know you can just use this whenever, right?" he says as we walk. "y'don't need permission to beat the shell outta somethin' sometimes. 'specially not mine."

if i were in a more talkative mood, i'd still struggle to find a response to that. it's difficult to convey the absurdities of my own brain; the fact that getting up and doing anything makes it feel like there are a thousand eyes on me, the fact that i feel ashamed to express my more "overdramatic" emotions.

before i can find a suitable reply, raph continues, chuckling, "master splinter was tryin' to get ya to use your words, or just leave, on your own terms, i think. but i thought you were 'bout to maim him before i stepped in."

"...sorry."

"nothin' to apologize for, kid. believe me, i get it." he shrugs. his nonchalance, for some reason, is a soothing balm to my itchy nerves. "sometimes ya just gotta punch shit."

we step into his room, and i immediately beeline for the punching bag in the corner. he stands back a bit, giving me room, crossing his arms over his chest as i get into position.

"dare ya to hit it so hard it hits the wall."

a feral grin spreads across my maw. accepting his challenge with a growl, i throw my first punch. the slam of knuckle against thick, solid fabric sends sparks up my arm and to my brain. my tail whips wildly.

i throw another. the bag swings back a little, but not by much. i bare my teeth.

another. it swings a little more.

another.

another.

i do ten more swings before i have to pause. already, my knuckles and arms are starting to ache. my breath comes fast and hard, body shaking from exertion.

i feel fucking amazing.

the bag hasn't moved much, but i didn't really expect it to. i doubt raph really expected it either. i haven't developed the muscles for it quite yet, after all.

but i'm nothing if not competitive.

and as i stand there panting, and raph approaches me with a glass of water i gratefully drink from, i realize i'm exhausted but not snappy. my head feels clear.

my brother seems to see it on my face, because he snorts and gives my shoulder a gentle punch. "see? what'd i tell ya? bottlin' that stuff up ain't good for you."

i roll my eyes and head bump his chin, causing him to jolt. "i know, i know."

"do ya, though?" he pulls me back to look me in the eye. "take it from me, kiddo. if your brain's tellin' ya to punch shit, you gotta punch shit. constructively, though, or whatever leo'd say. i hate seein' you torture yourself for no good reason."

the scolding is light, but it still stings, even if i can tell he's genuinely concerned. "you're starting to sound like leo, raph."

"ew. don't say that." his beak wrinkles with distaste. i laugh, and it's obvious he's fighting a grin of his own. "well, whatever. y'know what i mean."

"i do." i bonk him on the shoulder with my forehead, warmth in my chest. "thanks, raphie. i'll try to be better about this... kinda thing."

"good." he knocks his knuckles on my skull twice and then pats me on the back. "ya wanna stay in here, or head back out? i could yell at mike to keep it down for ya."

the bone-tired exhaustion is starting to seep in, and nothing sounds less appealing than facing the racket. i lean into my older brother, mumbling into his shoulder, "stay here?"

"stay here it is, then."

[hidingcoyote]

splinter presses his nose to my forehead as i breathe shallowly, clutching onto his grizzled hands like a lifeline.

"everyone will be fine, little one," he says softly. his whiskers brushing against mine draw me out from my spiral, his thumb rubbing over my knuckles. "and if something does happen, rare chance though it may be, donatello is nearby to deliver first aid. isn't that right?"

the frightful buzzing in my mind settles a little at that. it's true; my older brother is an incredible makeshift doctor, and his room is just around the corner.

but would it be enough?

"what if he cant?" i ask, voice wobbling as i choke back tears. "what if he cant and something bad happens?"

"your brother is very gifted, little one." he cups my cheek, pulling back so that we meet eye-to-eye. "he is wise with years of medical knowledge. it has not failed him thus far."

it should be more comforting than it is. a broken, frightened sob wracks my frame. "i- i don't want anyone to die."

he rubs his thumb underneath my eye, brushing away my tears gently. "everyone is very healthy, including me. an incident has not occurred in a long while. i promise you, everyone is safe."

when i fervently press my forehead to his chest, he envelops me in a protective hug. the added warmth and weight makes me go lax against him. the paranoia and anxiety rattles my body, making me shake as i burrow into his fur and robe.

he hums, resting his chin between my ears. "would it help if everyone was in eyesight?"

i tense. guilt and shame washes over me in a wave, even though a pit of yearning opens up in my stomach. i shake my head. "i dont want to wake them..."

"i'm certain they would understand." he gives a comforting nuzzle. "your brothers care for you very much. they wouldn't want you to be frightened."

i hesitate. the offer is extremely appealing to my addled brain, but i know they deserve their sleep. it'd be obnoxious having to coddle their littlest sibling yet again, wouldn't it?

"i will wake them," splinter decides, abruptly interrupting that dark train of thought. he carefully hoists me up so that i'm curled around his shoulders.

"papa--"

"and perhaps we will have a 'turtle pile,' hm?" he glances up at me, winking, and my protests peter out into giggles. he pads out of his room and towards the others, where he will gather the rest of the family to sleep in the common room together.

[hidingcoyote]

to all the selfshippers with sleep issues;

imagine your f/o comforting you after a nightmare. maybe you wake them up afterwards, or maybe they just wake up on their own because they know something's wrong.

"shh, it's okay. look at me. you're awake now. no need to be upset, I'm right here."

imagine your f/o noticing you're more tired than usual. they suggest things to help you sleep better at night. maybe some melatonin? maybe they buy you a new stuffed animal to snuggle with, or maybe they offer to sleep with you, if you don't usually.

"is there anything I can do to help you?" they ask, "would you like me to get you melatonin, or sleepy time tea? perhaps you just need someone to stay with you while your rest."

imagine your f/o comforting you if you struggle with fear surrounding sleep. maybe when you try to, you start experiencing paranoia, or intrusive thoughts, or maybe hallucinations. or maybe you're just simply scared of the dark and struggle to sleep in the pitch black.

"would something like a night light help?" they suggest, "or maybe youd like the TV to be on as you sleep? something to brighten up the room so you don't feel so isolated?"

whatever it is that bothers you, your f/o would do anything and everything to help and comfort you. they understand things can be rough sometimes, and they'll do anything to make you comfortable

imagine suggestion by @/herrling ! :)

[hidingcoyote]

Your f/o is so proud of you. They're proud of you for trying. For getting through your tough days. For expressing yourself and being who you are. For finding ways to cope when it's difficult. For continuing when it's hard. For smiling and laughing and breathing. They're so proud. They want you to be proud of yourself, too.

[hidingcoyote]

A lot of self-shippers who primarily self-ship for comfort and to cope talk about how they’re grateful for their f/o existing, me included, but I hope you know that your f/o is grateful for YOU existing too! You also brighten up their whole life and bring them the same amount of immense comfort and happiness!! They really want you to know that the feeling is always mutual, and they need you just as much as you need them!!!

(Pro/Comshippers + Neutrals fuck off! This post ain’t for you!)

[hidingcoyote]

been going thru moments where i try to think abt my f/os comforting/supporting me but my brain just tells me i dont deserve it. which is frankly unfair given this is one of my few coping mechanisms lol

[hidingcoyote]

also in addition to the last thing I said shout out to everyone w/ a familial f/o. Like what if that guy was actually my dad