higherunlearning

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How men can try to get it right after we got it wrong.

I wanna say a little something that’s long overdue… How can we demonstrate ways forward as guys, including how we can try to get it right after we got it wrong?  We as men can follow the lead of examples like MCA (RIP) of the Beastie Boys: dudes striving to be better than their yesterdays. …‘cause the disrespect to women and gender expansive people has got to the through. Some medicine shared…

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jeff talks building bridges between men on the ManKind Podcast!

jeff joined Boysen Hodgson of The ManKind Project and the Mankind Podcast for a rich discussion on this podcast episode. They dive into topics like • today’s Trust Famine and Empathy Deficit amongst men, • ‘who is worthy?’ and getting better at how we invite men to do better. • creating on-ramps for men into progressive spaces • jeff’s ‘Inner Compass for Men’ as a way forward in everyday…

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DROPPING THE ACT: Justin Baldoni, and the performance of being a good man. 

View this post on Instagram A post shared by jeff perera (@jeffperera)

[higherunlearning]

I gotta say a little something that’s long overdue… Male Feminists Suck

View this post on Instagram A post shared by jeff perera (@jeffperera) Some medicine shared with love, and a shout out to MCA of the Beastie Boys. Men especially: Please watch and share.  With the latest news on #justinbaldoni I gotta say a little something that’s long overdue… Male Feminists Suck. Women and gender-expansive people deserve better, and men and young men deserve better. Some…

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Manhood Isn’t Toxic… It’s About How You Accessorize It!

A quick look at how we can choose to accessorize our masculinity in helpful versus harmful ways as guys.

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Jeff talks to Teen Vogue!

Someone pointing out a problem isn’t the problem. In this time of divides we need bridge builders, and that means addressing and facing hard truths. Some labels these times as an era of ‘gender wars’, but it is a conversation of us not ‘us versus them’. Part of the problem is that too many young men are grasping onto outdated and limiting ideas of manhood as a way forward. Men like Donald Trump…

[higherunlearning]

Who Is Worthy?

Who is Worthy? Who is worthy enough today? Who is worthy of investing our time and effort to encourage and support them to change? Who is worthy of grace? Who is worthy when perceived standards of being a ‘good man’ feel unattainable? Who is worthy of another chance? Who is worthy of deciding who is worthy? The questions we need to discuss, together.  Whether you are the one being called in,…

[higherunlearning]

An Episode About Nothing (and Dominant Masculinity)

Jerry Seinfeld recently said he laments ‘the good old days of ‘dominant masculinity’ and that he likes: ‘a real man.’ Meanwhile in a separate interview, Julia Louis-Dreyfus called bullshit over complaints that comics can’t be funny now. Well, we found a lost Seinfeld script (oddly featuring quotes from those interviews) for one last episode about nothing (and dominant masculinity!) [Setting:…

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The Representation Project talks with Jeff!

Dr. Caroline Heldman of The Representation Project talked with Jeff Perera for their ‘Healthy Masculinities Expert Interview Series’ and #BoysWillBeBoys Campaign. WATCH THE INTERVIEW! Jeff talked about helpful versus harmful ideas of manhood, how men and young men can draw our own maps to manhood, and building our emotional muscle to navigate challenges we’re facing today! Find out more about…

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Accessorize our masculinity in helpful ways? Barbie reminds Men: You Ken Do It! 

Thoughts on how us Mens and Kens can process all the complicated feels after having watched the movie. He was usually more jovial and playful, but the brother of my girlfriend at the time had a very different energy responding to my comment. It was 2006 and we were visiting his home, openly hidden in a rural area far from the city. His 4 year old son was excitedly playing with a large G.I. Joe.…

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A Rock Star, a Football Hero and a Village can help raise Boys to be Men.

In this Behind the Masc video, Jeff Perera talks about the influence Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder had on him, singing about his yearning for connection with his father and journey into manhood. Jeff also shares a moving interview clip between Eddie and former NFL player Steve Gleason who discuss how we can be a Better Man. People of all genders – including Women – can and do raise boys to…

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BEING A LIGHTHOUSE FOR YOUNG MEN LOST IN STORMY WATERS

————— image source One of many things that became apparent amidst the start of the pandemic in early 2020 was how we were about to deep dive even further into a collective state of uncertainty. At that point it already felt like the social contract upon which we thought society firmly stood was deteriorating under our feet. We suddenly found ourselves collectively adrift in the depths of a…

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Never Go All the Ye: Don't ignore the first red flag of Misogyny.

Watch my thoughts on the downward spiral of Kanye West aka Ye into Hate, and how misogyny is a series of initial red flags most of us ignore. Don’t wait until the last straw.

Watch my thoughts on the downward spiral of Kanye West aka Ye into Hate, and how misogyny is a series of initial red flags most of us ignore. Don’t wait until the last straw. View this post on Instagram A post shared by jeff perera (@jeffperera) ________ about jeff pereraSince 2008 jeff perera has spoken to tens of thousands of people of all genders across North America about healthy versus…

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The crow, the pitcher, and how the little things we do lift up a big change.

A modern spin on an old tale. A crow, a pitcher and a reminder of how our everyday little actions together lift up a mighty wave of change. (This is for all of us when we feel our contribution doesn’t make enough of a difference…) Music: ‘To the space’ by Xuxiao

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The Manufacturer we need to talk about when it comes to Gun Violence.

Jeff explains how harmful ideas of manhood are like gun modifications used to weaponize masculinity. A way forward is allowing ourselves as men to heal the wounds that wound.

Here is a since-deleted tweet you probably didn’t see before Tuesday May 24th, 2022.  For some, this would have stopped us cold in our scrolling tracks. Online however, it seemed like no one blinked.Weapons of mass murder like these are not designed for killing a rabbit in your garden. Weapons like the ones made by Daniel Defense – a American gun manufacturer based out of Georgia – are as easy…

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The Power of a Pause Before We Act: The Reactions of Jada, Will, and all of us on a Sunday Night.

A deep dive taking a look at our hot takes, and how we can take a moment to think before we react and act.

I always appreciate hearing a timely quote during a speech. In my talks with men and young men, I sometimes share these words from Yung Pueblo: “The pause before we act is the space where we reclaim our power.” These days, it feels like we can expect to instantly hear everyone’s spontaneous thoughts or reactions regarding a headline or situation. Sometimes we will instantly weigh in because it’s…

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Gardening Tips for Men to Grow Change

Jeff Perera shares a Kindergarten lesson many of us forgot: a lesson which is helpful in inspiring men to help end gender based violence, and create helpful versus harmful traditions of manhood. Jeff also discuss some gardening lessons that can help us in inviting men to become the lesson in action. Originally a video for the Gender Equality Coalition of Ontario 2021 Conference. The conference…