hirukochan

[hirukochan]

doodles

[hirukochan]

If you ever feel like you don't contribute to fandom because you "only" comment—

A regular serial commenter just joined a fandom Discord server I'm on and people are coming out of the woodwork to thank her for her service to the fandom, expressing how much joy her comments on their works bring them.

Remember—they're never only comments.

[hirukochan]

And here I am, thinking about Severus Snape eating someone out.

She's standing against a tree. It's a sunny day.

He's kneeling, his chin glistening with moisture dripping on the ground.

His nose buried in curls.

[hirukochan]

What music do you think Snape listens to in his free time?

P.S. I absolutely adore the answer to my lil tutting Snape question. Honestly 💚🐍💚

[hirukochan]

Tom Riddle Senior

I don't remember, did I draw him before or not? Anyway I hope you will like LV's papa 🖤✨️

[hirukochan]

[hirukochan]

Cold weather

[hirukochan]

•18 Snape's hairstyles•

Choose your fav~

[hirukochan]

i think about snape with a ponytail at least 5 times a day

[hirukochan]

came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

[hirukochan]

[hirukochan]

Nothing makes me want to quit writing fics again like how some people act and treat writers.

I'm not really active on here. I'm not very active in the snape fandom either and I haven't had many negative experiences in the fandom at all. Quite the opposite. I have met many nice people and if I weren't the anxiety-ridden, traumatised, depressed, introverted little hermit that I am, I'm sure I would have met even more.

But some people...some people really need to work on actively unlearning to view fanfic like content to be consumed.

I've posted over 2 million words of (mostly) Snape-centric(-ish) fics since coming back to writing fanfic in 2023, after quitting when I was a teen despite how much I loved it - depression, lack of interaction, entitled readers and shitty people really did their best to strangle that love until writing was just another chore I was too exhausted to complete.

Were all of these long fics, oneshots and whatnot good?? no.

Looking at you Cigarette smoke, profanities and stolen kisses (≖_≖ )

I am under no illusion, not everyone will like my excessive, ranting, fucked up stories.

But if you don't - do me the favour, and shut the fuck up about how you don't.

You can leave at any point. I haven't strapped you down in a chair Clockwork Orange style and forced you to read my fics. I feel I give plenty of warnings for my fics. And you aren't always supposed to like the characters - because they are human. They are beautifully, devastatingly human and sometimes they'll be a real piece of shit.

I know this rant is utterly pointless, because the kind of people who act that way are most likely not following me here on tumblr. Idk if anyone is really following me here tbh.

I wouldn't follow me.

I am an anxiety-ridden, traumatised, depressed, introverted little hermit who was bullied ruthlessly for most of her life and now gets a panic attack anytime she feels like she is taking up space or making a mistake.

I'd like to say that I don't care when people critique my fics - but I do. I care too much. My anxiety-ridden, traumatised, depressed, introverted little brain cares way too much so I don't want to hear how you...

...think it's disgusting I made Snape a cuckold because he watches the girl he is supposed to fall in love with in the future fuck another guy at a sex club - wtf, he is not??? and he is not entitled to Freya and at this point (or any point really tf), there has not been any romantic development between them - wtf is wrong with you?

...hate the Barty Crouch jr, a charater we get, what? ten pages of in the actual books? And how you just hate that Freya wants to fuck him - while also being with Snape. We do not have enough fics with a good polyamorous couple. Leave my power throuple alone. (Curious how that fic hasn't seen an update since the end of 2023. Funny how that works, ay???)

...think the end of Your tears are of no relevance to me was rushed. That fic is over 500 fucking words long - it had to end one day (つ ≧□≦)つ - it was supposed to be a fucking oneshot

...just hate that ending to that one fic I wrote so much.

There is more...why is there more? You didn't buy a book in the store and paid a lot of money just to discover the author published a shit book. You weren't fooled into reading some AI generated, regurgitated, lifeless piece of nothing cake.

You invested some time in reading something, for free, on the internet and I think people forget that there is a person on the other end. Someone who carved out time of the craziness of their real life, and their real life responsibilities and put their sweat, blood and tears into their work.

I don't know why I wrote this and while I did, I considered deleting the whole thing like five times and even now I'm debating with myself whether to post it because that would take up space. Because English isn't my first language and what if I wrote something wrong?

basically,

(┐「ε:) < ---- this is me right now.

I already struggle so much to put myself out there. I am constantly surprised that people actually want to read what I post. I already feel bad for the fics I've not updated in so long - they aren't abandoned...they are like my own personal ghosts, haunting me everytime I open google docs because for some reason it always opens on A Servant of Death. Or for taking too long to finish a project...

I'm almost done, I promise. I've already taken up too much space anyway...

So yeah...that's me. Hi, I'm Hiruko_chan. I'm a certified mess. You might have read one of my fics before, or not - won't hold it against you. Most of them probably suck anyway (you can add imposter syndrom to the list further up too).

You probably haven't seen me around on here. I'm like the most useless, rare Pokemon you can imagine. Only to be spotted on the Snarriet Discord server. If taken out of my natural habitat I flop around on the ground like a dying fish - and most likely start crying (yes, my characters cry all the fucking time, I am aware. They wish they could stop as much as I do. It's called trauma).

If you've made it all the way down here...thanks for reading this useless, incoherent little rant, I guess. Maybe I'll be able to let this go now and write that chapter I was planning to write today before waking up to that one comment...

[hirukochan]

❣️amortentia❣️

[hirukochan]

I have no idea how people turn the marauders into queer icons when they bullied the boy with long hair, made up a nickname insulting men who cry, 2 of the boys who weren't directly involved in the bullying never called it out or did something about it, one even enjoying it, all that while one of them also harassed a girl into dating him. even within their group, one took advantage of another's condition for a prank

right, queer icons indeed, breaking gender norms and standing up against prejudice

[hirukochan]

[hirukochan]

Snape's sketch

[hirukochan]

my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day