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hjhikari · 2 months ago

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Crossman Zero (this game does not exist)

But good news everyone: since fandom is one big bowl of free real estate soup, and so by the miraculous power of the mind’s true desire, the story of the Megaman Zero Crossover parody goes something like this: ↓

- Crossman Zero: The Story

The year was 20XX, after a century of fighting for creations to exist in peace, Ink mysteriously disappeared one day after having last been seen near a sea port AU.

Meanwhile without Ink’s intervention, Cross had fallen into an existential crisis, ruminating over whether he would be capable of falling into the destructive legacy left behind by his creator, and one day impulsively sealed himself away into a magic nest for maximum rest, so he may sleep away his sorrows over the next 100 years.

The multiverse fell into chaos soon after, with powerful beings rising to power to fill the void Ink left behind. In the face of an imminent crisis caused by creation magic shortage, Dream suddenly found himself unable to use magic and on the run from xGaster, with xGaster finally completing his vision for a utopia, where only canonized and elite creations were given protection from the unpredictable dangers of the multiverse. Dream, accompanied by a tiny black octopus-like creature latching on his shoulder looking suspiciously like a tiny Nightmare, stumbles across Cross’s sad hiding spot, now only whispered like rumors in the wind.

“Cross, please wake up! I know you’re in there.” Dream cried out to him, “The multiverse is in big trouble! Nobody can use magic, and I know you’re our only hope in defeating xGaster!” But Cross’s nest was entirely too comfortable and safe, and he really did not want to wake up from his cocoon to face the harsh reality of the outside world.

Seeing a morose Dream unable to rouse Cross, the tiny Nightmare parched on Dream’s shoulder steeled its resolve, and valiantly launched itself into Cross’s face with a wet slop, latching onto his eyes, nose and mouth with every ounce of strength present in a tiny goopy amoeba, to Dream’s grave concern. “Nightmare!!! Nooooooo!!! Don’t risk yourself like this!!! What if he thinks you’re food and eat you?”

“What the Hhhfh—Mngnfgh?!“, Cross shot up instantly, swatting at his face and struggling to tear the abomination faceplant off of him, but tiny Nightmare was determined, latching on to all of Cross’s orifices with every single one of its tiny tentacles.

After rounds of battle where Cross had punched himself a non-zero number of times (with Dream not sure who to help), Cross had finally understood that struggling and running away from his problems (today) was useless. He has had enough of tentacle suffering lessons in one day, so he reluctantly decided to wake up once and for all, to help Dream out of the trouble he and the multiverse had found themselves in at last.

————

Meanwhile, it turned out Ink had just wanted to take a day off without telling anyone at first, but after chasing what he thought was just an ordinary ice cream truck, he accidentally got himself locked into the back of a cargo ship, which inexplicably had been destined to sail out to the crevices of isolated pocket dimensions over the next 100 years. After realizing his mistake, Ink simply went, “Well I guess it can’t be helped,” and decided to continue with his impromptu vacation, oblivious to the rest of the multiverse burning down without him, thanks to his best friend xGaster.

However as it turns out, the ship’s cargo had been full of antique video game cartridges, collected across space-time. After a long time of them being locked away, they had become imbued with powerful digital magic manifested by those who obsessively enjoyed them. By being basked in its magic presence for months, Ink was surprised to find him donning a brand new outfit that looks like he walked right out of a 16-bit era video game.

Ink eventually remembered he had never even attempted to open a portal to escape before assuming he was trapped forever, and was surprised that it was actually working,…to some extend. Because upon closer inspection, it’s clear it wasn’t a traversable portal and Ink can only see through it, unable to go to the other side. But he was surprised to see on other side was Cross…! And what appears to be an army of tiny Nightmares, trying to thwart what can only be described as a gigantic iron golem, with Dream caught helplessly between its claws. None of them was using magic for some reason, albeit Cross was doing much better than both Dream and all the Tinymares combined, trying his best with a makeshift pipe weapon, guard training and his unholy strength of being able to lift a whole bus on demand.

The other side all gasped simultaneously upon seeing the imagery of Ink, a ghostly 16-bit apparition staring at them from a monitor-like portal.

“Ink? Is that you? Where the hell have you been? it’s been literally a whole year!” Dream shouted at the fuzzy portal transmission and struggled, but the iron golem gripped onto him tighter. “The world had been thrown into chaos while you were gone, not to mention Cross had put himself into a depression coma!”

“Dream wait! It’s possible this is just another overwrite trick from xGaster to distract us.” Cross dodged another blow from the golem as another Tinymare disintegrated into a pitiful goopy pile upon impact. “Nobody from AU worlds has had access to creation magic for a while from the energy crisis. And see? He looks nothing like the Ink we know.”

“Oh my god!!!! You guys can see me?!” Ink has never felt so ecstatic, and in an instant, with his unrivalled ability in thinking thoughts off on a tangent, immediately figures it all out. “I cannot believe this. xGaster must be at it again trying to create a canon-only utopia while I was away! But don’t worry guys, I’ve got it all figured out.” Ink rushed back to the cargo pile, rummaging until he found a game cartridge radiating a powerful magical intent. “I can’t get myself across right now, but it’s dangerous to go on alone. Take this!”

The magical essence followed Ink’s will across the portal, and upon touching down, instantly transforming into the coolest beam saber Cross had ever laid his eyelights upon, with blue neon hue glowing from its magic, mesmerizing him. Could it have been used by a powerful legendary battle hero…?

“I feel like I know this sword for some reason.” Cross gave the sword a once-over, contemplating. “It kind of makes me want to carry a head full of luscious golden mane, and letting it flow in the wind elegantly for some reason,…but it could just be my imagination.”

“No more waxing poetics now Cross, the golem!!!” Dream shouts from the distance. He struggles again in the golem’s claws, to no prevail at freeing himself. The sword settled into Cross’s hands as if it were made for him to hold, and with a single practised swing, the golem was sliced clean into two pieces, its grip on Dream going lax, crashing to the ground.

The magical beam saber, as if responding to its new owner’s resolve, now shining with a bright red hue. Cross appears to grow three times cooler as he turns back to give Ink’s mirage a thumbs up, whom looked sagely pleased at what they had pulled off together.

“Great! It looks like everything’s fine now.” With the situation satisfactorily resolved, Ink gave Cross a triumphant smile back through the portal, but Dream was not amused, having just been rendered a helpless damsel for most of the encounter. After pulling himself out of the scrap metal pile, the splatters of tiny Nightmares having melded back into their original shapes, now latching onto Dream to heal his damages.

“No, it’s not fine? Ink, where the heck have you been?” Dream has the most annoyed expression on his face, his shoulders slumping from exhaustion. “Things are not okay here actually. The multiverse had been on fire, I had to babysit an army of tiny creatures that looks like my brother which is too much to explain now, and,” He points, “it was a miracle we managed to find Cross hiding himself to fix himself, in a ditch.”

“Hey, it was a very comfortable ditch, thank you very much.” Cross huffed with indignation. “Ugh, but I can’t believe I allowed my mental well being to become joined at the hipbone with Ink…, when all I needed was for someone to kick my ass.” He facepalmed from second hand embarrassment for himself and Ink, despite feeling theoretically happy to see Ink alive and possibly,…well.

“Never mind that, what in the world happened to you?” Cross continued. “Is that another outfit change? You look like you’ve walked straight out of a cyberspace AU.”

“Yeah, I guess this place’s magic did a number on me,” Ink looked around the cargo case he’s stuck in, and back down at himself, “It looks like the magic was manifested from the intent of someone who obsessively enjoyed playing lots of video games. But also check it out!” He gestures back at Cross, “You’re also looking pretty cool yourself right now, you know?”

Confused, Cross looked down at himself, and was surprised to find his own outfit had changed to something similar to what Ink is wearing. It seems like the moment he took the coolest beam saber in existence into his own hand, it also made him look very cool by extension…almost like a cool protagonist from a video game that he couldn’t quite put the bones of his fingers around. Cross felt his face heat up from suddenly becoming too cool for his inadequate feelings to handle.

“Oh, god damn it. Just when I’ve gotten over the royal guard outfit…” Cross tries to hold himself together from having an inner battle with his first hand embarrassment. “I guess, if we really are going to save the multiverse looking like we were cosplaying some video game characters, then I’ll have no choice but to do it.”

Seizing the opportunity while Cross was distracted, Ink continued. “Let me make it up to you guys by helping out from here, since it looks like there’s plenty of creation magic to spare from where I am. And…,maybe you can find a way to get me out of here too?” Ink attempts to put on his best sheepish smile. “I feel like I’m trapped in someone’s personal cyberspace locker or something. Like a backroom away from reality, if you will. It’s getting sorta old and uncomfortable. And very paintless.”

“Ink I have no idea what you meant or what you’re trying to tell us, but realistically we have no choice now but to continue forward.” Dream finally picked himself up from the metal scrap pile and dusted himself off. “There’s no time to waste. Looking like video game characters or not, we have to stop xGaster before it’s too late, for the sake of all creations, canon or otherwise! Now who’s with me?”

So with one resigned and one enthusiastic cheer later, Cross, Ink, Dream, and an army of tiny Nightmares reluctantly set out on this strange adventure that they all really wish they did not sign up for. If only they could predict the ominous shenanigans that awaits them in the future…

——— * You find a scrunched up piece of dirty paper abandoned on the ground after the kerfuffle had cleared. Unfurling it reveals an author’s note:

“To whoever finds this, congratulations on bearing witnessing to this highly specific universe’s existence, a fruit of torment bore upon the author’s soul until a “Game Night” UTMV fanzine called in seeking for the gamer’s Crossover, and by the gods who was I to hold them back? Don’t let the apples of your dream be dreams, they say (turn them into skeletons instead). But like a Flash in the Dark, time is limited in this universe and all good times must end, the curtains must fall, so this is our goodbye.

..…or….this is according to what they say. What do you two think?”

#underverse #xtale #Draw #a megaman zero parody #a cross-over. if you will #pouring one out for whoever from DA days back then miraculously ending up here and knowing exactly what they’re looking at #Fanart #Fic #ut #my art #cross sans #ink sans #dream sans #utmv

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