hoffeeinthemorning-blog

[hoffeeinthemorning-blog]

Three Words- Part One (Wattpad Smut: hemp0raryfix)

Still unnoticed by the man of the show, I happily made my way down the steep steps and onto the ground floor of the arena. His security nodded at me knowingly, leading me up and behind the stage, where he'd already be. The last show of the tour ended a mere couple minutes ago, screaming and crying girls still littered the spacious arena which had now looked like a tornado just circled around and swept groups of fans away.

He had no idea that I was here, which didn't matter to me in the slightest. Attending this show, my intentions weren't of that him spotting me in the crowd of thousands of faces. If he sees me, he sees me, I thought. The Manchester show is when I saw him last, a month has passed with no contact aside from a couple simple texts reading: "I miss you." I told him, though—I made sure he knew I'd attend another one of his shows, I believed he must be fairly disappointed due to the tour now being over and me supposedly not keeping my promise.

Little did he know, I was here and I couldn't wait a second longer to see him. However, anticipation filled me and I felt somewhat anxious as my hand hesitated to turn the handle of his very own dressing room door. Him almost saying those three words to me after the Manchester show a month ago, I didn't mention. I stopped him; I had to. I couldn't help but feel like if those words slipped from his mouth, he'd immediately regret them. We weren't together, no. For two years, we'd been on and off, constantly reminding each other that we were only seeing each other, seeing how things go, if this works out.

He cheated on me, once...twice. He was flawed. I admired him though, of course I did, just how the millions of his dear fans did. He had one message, one simple phrase that he spread around: "Treat people with kindness." and he did. You might think that doesn't apply to me, but it does. Commitment issues were something we both unfortunately had, although I didn't act upon that fact whereas he managed to do just that.

That didn't make him a terrible person though, quite the opposite actually: that went to show he does have flaws, he does have bad traits, he is ultimately human, who makes mistakes like anyone else. His dedicated fans see someone who he puts out there for them to see, he has control over how much of his life is in the spotlight, yet they don't know him personally nor privately and sometimes fail to understand that not only have people hurt him, but he's hurt people.

Nevertheless, I forgave him and now I'm here, turning the handle to see him after a dragged on month. I held my breath as I pushed the door open, revealing his back to me as he packed some things into a bag.

"I'm coming Jeff, give me a minute." He called out, assuming I was his manager, proving my guess of him not noticing me throughout the whole show.

When who he thought was Jeff stayed silent, his head turned before his entire body did, clad in his usual skinny jeans and his own merchandise: (the black hoodie). The lips that I missed kissing, parted slightly in surprise as his green eyes widened and he stood still for a moment, just taking in my presence.

I watched intently as his mouth slowly closed and twitched up into a smile, revealing those adorable dimples of his that I always poke my finger into.

"Hi." I said in a small voice, glancing up at him.

"Hi." He replied and I couldn't help a smile that forced its way onto my face.

I stood unmoving as he closed the distance between us, arms embracing me into his chest. My breath hitched in my throat and I bit the inside of my cheek in order not to cry, as my arms found their way around his neck. His heavenly scent made me feel like home and god, did I miss being home. He held me so tightly, as if I would disappear if he weren't squeezing me securely against him.

My eyes fluttered shut momentarily, incredibly pleased with the proximity of our bodies and feeling like this was my safe haven, with him. It was a short moment, but I felt everyone and everything around us slip away, leaving only the two of us here. Alone and emotional.

"I missed you," He breathed into my hair. "God, did I miss you. Never leave me for that long again." I could've sworn his voice broke mid- sentence and I bit my lip, my eyes glossy and threatening to spill tears.

"I missed you, too." Breaking away, his eyes peered into mine. His own green eyes glazed with a layer of tears. I prayed he wouldn't cry, that'd break me, though that being said– I've absolutely never seen Harry cry whereas he'd watched me cry with a broken heart countless times. Every time being because of him and the pain he caused me.

"Don't do it, I hate it. It breaks me." He'd told me when I cried, full of sorrow and an unbelievable amount of guilt swallowing him up. I know if he cried I'd feel the same, be it crying for a good reason or not.

"I don't recall telling you to take your time, Harry. Let's go." Jeff suddenly burst through the door, making me turn around and look at him. He glanced at me then at Harry, then at me again.

"I'm not going to the after party." Harry stated and I realised I probably ruined his plans for tonight.

"Oh— no, you can go. I—" I started but Harry cut me off.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to go anyway, I'm tired." He looked at a surprised Jeff for approval, though I knew even if Jeff told Harry to go, he wouldn't oblige.

"Don't look at me like that. I won't force you to go, whatever you do tonight is fine with me but the flight is at 16:00 tomorrow." Jeff seemed to slightly shock Harry by saying that but he thanked him before Jeff left his dressing room.

"Harry, if you want to go—"

"The only place I wanna go is to my hotel room," both of his arms wrapped around the small of my back and his head dipped to press a soft kiss to the exposed skin of my neck. "With you." He added, lifting his head.

My tongue darted out to lick my lips, expecting Harry to lean in and press his lips to mine, considering we haven't seen or kissed each other in a month. I frowned when he didn't move, instead just looked at me with softened features.

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" I asked and he smirked, licking his own lips.

"Not yet." He answered.

Harry removed his arms from around me and grabbed the bag he'd packed before leading us out of the dressing room and the arena. A car waited for us outside and we hastily got inside, the cold December air urging me to quickly shut the door and making me regret choosing the outfit that I did. I should've worn tights with the long- sleeve, brown body-con dress. It reached the middle of my thighs and I cursed at myself mentally for not bringing a jacket.

Harry's arm clung to my waist during the short drive to the hotel he was staying at. I glanced out of the window, admiring Tokyo as I have never been here before. At night, it reminded me an awful lot of New York, by the bright lights, buildings and huge billboards. It was beautiful and I was so happy to be here with Harry.

Before long, we arrived at the expensive and luxurious looking hotel. We were lucky no paparazzi suspected that Harry was staying here and therefore no flashes went off as we made our way out of the car and inside the lobby. However, a couple people had turned their heads due to Harry Styles's presence.

I thought that maybe Harry would finally kiss me in the elevator, but no, he kept his distance at which I failed to hide my disappointment. 31 days without each other and he doesn't want to kiss me? The elevator doors clicked open and we stepped out into the hallway while Harry fished his key card out of his jean pocket. Once inside, he ditched his bag elsewhere and I took it upon myself to look around the presidential suite. It was beautiful, although highly unnecessary taking into account that Harry was staying here for three nights altogether and decided to stay in this huge suite, with an office and all. He literally only slept here, so he really wasted a bunch of money.

"Fancy a drink?" I heard Harry call out from the kitchen, I'm assuming.

"No." The fact that he still hadn't done anything other than hug me making me snap at him rudely.

Ignoring Harry's following words, I opened a random door which happened to be the bedroom. Straight away, I spotted a door leading out onto a small balcony, the king sized bed stationed in front of me was also unmissable. The room was huge, it had a door to its own bathroom and I realised everything inside looked untouched, aside from the bed Harry slept in, twice now.

I made my mind up to go out onto the balcony, but unfortunately (or fortunately) before I could get past the bed, I felt Harry grab my hips with both of his hands and spin me around to face him. Neither of us got a single word in before he abruptly leaned in and finally, finally, kissed me. The simple brush of his lips made my whole body quiver with need and become desperate for more of his heavenly touch. It seemed that everything he did, every move he made was just right and pleased me in every way possible.

My arms flung themselves around his neck in an attempt to bring him– feel him closer. His lips kissed me gently at first, no hint of tongue, just soft and lingering kisses. My body was eager for more and so I let my tongue slip inside his mouth, finally feeling the familiar warmth I was very much used to. After that, he didn't waste time to retaliate, our tongues massaging each other's as Harry moaned into the kiss.

The hands that rested on my hips, squeezed at them and instructed me to move to the side, in order for him to be able to lay me carefully on the huge bed. Once on it, my hands fumbled with the hem of his hoodie, intending on tugging it off of him. Much to my annoyance, Harry broke away, peering into my eyes with his lust- filled ones. His arms were on either side of me and he was still close, practically breathing into my mouth, not that I minded.

"Couldn't wait any longer, could you?" He breathed and I shook my head, breathing a little heavily myself.

"You're gonna have to wait for a little while longer." I frowned at what he said, confusion filling me.

"Why?" I simply questioned, sitting up while Harry climbed off of me and stood to his feet.

"Come here," he tilted his head toward the balcony on my left, reaching his hand out for me to take.

I sighed, getting off of the bed and taking his hand as he opened the glass door to the balcony, letting the breeze float into the room. Stepping out, I wrapped a free arm around myself, it truly was cold and I wondered why he wanted me out here when what we were just doing was keeping us nice and warm inside.

He made me stand in front of him while he glanced out into the city of Tokyo, the bright lights illuminating his face, making his green eyes glow in the darkness. I waited patiently for him to say or do whatever he brought me out here for. After a deep breath, he looked at me, eyes bright and soft as ever, searching for mine. Both of my arms now wrapped around myself, attempting to keep me warmer than the cold air of Japan allowed.

"You stopped me last time so please just listen to me now, okay?" He started and my stomach immediately dropped.

"Harry, no—"

"See? That's what I mean– don't do that, just listen to me." I shut my mouth and swallowed, nodding and promising to keep my mouth shut until he's done with what he's about to say.

He nervously breathed out one more time. "I don't know why you didn't let me say it," my lips were merely parted, intently listening to every single word he spoke.

"I put you through a lot, I know. I put you through shit— honestly, I'm surprised that you're even still here after that." He looked down at his feet before lifting his gaze back up.

"I don't deserve that. I don't deserve for you to be here— I don't deserve you. I had those words itching the back of my throat for the longest time, but I swallowed them down every chance I had and for that, I'm sorry." I pursed my lips, waiting for Harry to continue.

"Not only for that am I sorry, but for everything I did to you. It's done and forgotten, I know—another thing I didn't deserve from you, but you forgave me, somehow. What I'm saying, is that I'm a fuck up. I'm an unhinged man and, fuck, I fail to understand why you're still in my life but I'm afraid if I question that, you'll leave me." I bit the insides of my cheeks and squeezed my arms tightly, trying to hold back my tears which surfaced as a result of Harry's words as well as his own glossy eyes and trembling lips.

"I love you. I swear to god, I love you— I loved you yesterday and the day before and the day before. I'll love you tomorrow and the day after and until you want me to stop— no, I wouldn't even stop loving you if you asked me to. I love you." Harry's pink cheeks were wet with tears and I imagined mine to look similar. I wasn't sure why exactly he was crying nor was I sure of the reason for my own crying. This was a mess, a beautiful, beautiful mess.

I couldn't stop the little sob that escaped my mouth before I told him. "I love you." The look in his eyes was indescribable, it held an infinite amount of happiness, which I'd never seen in them before, passion and love...so much love.

Our chests collided in a much tighter embrace than earlier but I enjoyed every single second of it. Harry hastily broke away, cold lips desperately attaching to mine. I could taste a mix of both of our tears, making the moment oddly more intimate than it had already been.

This time, Harry's tongue made the first move by slipping into my mouth. He pushed us back inside the room, not bothering to shut the balcony door, before he laid me back on the bed and hovered above me.

Now, this was going to be a hell of an emotionally intimate night.