holdinbacksecrets - Tumblr blog

[holdinbacksecrets]

byeon woo seok was born on halloween??? oh that’s amazing. dammit i love him even more now. it’s always the scorpio men for me. i love them

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hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

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listening to my friends’ favorite songs to feel closer to them bc they’re so far away

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lake house — l.dh

situationship to almost lovers. short, sticky, and hopefully sweet. suggestive, 18+ wc: 1.2k

he’s the only one awake when you head downstairs for a glass of water.

moonlight paints the walls, brushes the end of the couch, and fails to give away any part of his tall frame sitting at the dining table.

he watches you walk past him wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. your braids fall down your back with a scarf wrapped around your head to prevent frizz. the sweet, familiar notes of your perfume linger in your wake.

he watches you stand on your tippy toes as the t-shirt clings to your curves while you reach for the highest shelf. when you’re about to climb onto the countertop, he speaks up.

“i don’t think you should do that if you aren’t wearing any underwear.”

the volume of donghyuck’s voice is quiet, just loud enough for you to hear, and he’s right. you aren’t wearing any underwear. you don’t bother commenting on the silence he existed in until this moment as it sets in he was likely watching you.

you fall back on your heels, motioning to him and then nodding to the displayed dishware out of reach. he runs his fingers through his hair before rising from the seat to help you. donghyuck extends a glass in one hand and a mug in the other—take your pick.

in the next moment, you’re filling the glass before he places the mug beneath the flowing faucet, standing so close that his warmth softens the coolness on your skin. someone left the window open, but it’s above a sleeping friend. there’s no use trying to close it.

you’re side by side, and it’s natural to rest your head against his frame in between sips and the necessary gulps. you want to know what he thinks about you. if the reason he was excited about this weekend has anything to do with seeing each other again.

the two of you are good at waiting and hoping the other will finally bend, wondering how long it’ll take before a give in. secretly, he never plans on waiting longer than four days. perhaps the fifth day once midnight strikes. you haven’t figured that out yet, giving in by day two or experiencing the relief when he calls on the third day. perhaps he’s lying about his little rule.

he sets the mug in the sink and brushes his thumb across the side of your neck, just above a constellation of moles. he’s kissed the spot more times than you can count, and the craving for his euphoria slithers beneath your skin, starting in your chest before coiling down your body.

you lift your glass again to fill your cheeks. he smiles at the sight. you’re adorable yet so incredibly sexy in this moment. donghyuck doubts you have any idea how easily you exist in the middle of his favorite venn diagram.

your glass joins his mug, and you look up at him. your height difference is exciting and comforting and leaves you feeling safe as can be in his presence. you daydream about the feeling of his chin on the top of your head, wondering how much time would pass before he’s kissing your hairline.

“come to bed with me?” his eyes widen for a moment, and you feel a wave of his vulnerability mist you in the darkness. the glowing light from the stove is all you have to work with. he’s nervous.

you nod, interlacing fingers with his and walking backwards for a moment before you turn to lead the way.

at the stairs, he walks beside you, hyper aware of your chosen pajamas and not wanting to see something you haven’t given him consent to view. it’s been two weeks since he’s seen you naked.

donghyuck’s bedroom is three doors past yours. he got lucky with the window seat and angled ceiling. he feels so far removed from the rest of the house with a beautiful view of the water.

his bedding is plaid, and the room feels rustic in comparison to the delicate details within your own, accompanied by pastel blues and yellows.

you can see him much clearer in the soft glow from the nightstand’s lamp. he’s wearing black joggers you recognize and a white t-shirt. his hair is still damp and stubble peppers his chin. in an impulsive moment, you’re touching his face, tracing the shape of his nose, the contour of his cheek, and the arch of his brow before brushing your thumb across his lips. they part beneath your touch. you smile, existing in this feeling donghyuck always creates for you and remembering how unnatural it used to feel—surprised by the comfort despite your still short time in each other’s lives.

now, months have passed of getting to know—unraveling without judgment. his secrets are kept securely in your mind. vulnerable memories are cherished in your heart. the way he makes you feel is savored by your soul and replayed in your dreams. intimate explorations you’ve experienced together are reminisced in quiet moments when you’re alone, admiring the new, golden hues in your reflection.

he’s indulging in these wee hours of the morning with you. he hasn’t said anything since his hopeful question, and you’re ok with that. you feel like all the words are out in the open anyway. you believe they are when he leans forward to kiss you.

donghyuck pulls you against him. your chest meets the base of his sternum. you moan at the feeling of your mouths moving together, missing these soft collisions, but the kiss remains gentle and slow without urgency. his tongue is a ghost, barely meeting your own. his hands stay on either side of your face while your own grip his shirt.

donghyuck pulls away to explore your neck and jaw before his lips touch your eyelids. he smiles then. your heart is about to burst, and you wait for the final kiss that’s bound to find your lips.

and it does.

“i’ve missed you,” his words pass through an exhale.

he’s sitting on the bed while you stand between his legs with your fingers in his hair. your lips continuously meet his forehead, filling the void that grew during your time apart. donghyuck asks about your journey up and how the trip went. he tells you you can drive home with him—he insists you do.

when he rests his face against your stomach, you wonder if he’s ok. “hyuck?”

“mmm?”

“is something wrong?”

“just missed you. didn’t know if you’d be here. wish i would’ve asked.” he’s been in his head about you.

“you can always ask.”

“i know that.” if he picked up the phone, he would’ve told you he’s in love with you.

“we have the whole weekend together.”

“how long will it be before everyone is sick of us?” he had to kiss you. of course he wanted to, but the words were bubbling up again. every time he thought to pull away, they danced on his tongue.

“i’m in the clear—making banana bread in the morning. join me?”

“as long as you’re wearing pants.”

he feels your stomach tighten as you laugh, and it’s heaven. he squeezes your hip and leans back, rearranging the pillows so you can join him.

“i didn’t expect to run into anyone downstairs tonight, and i’m so used to living alone… but i’ll wear pants. don’t worry about that.” you lean in and kiss him as a promise, tucking your legs beneath the covers.

you fall asleep talking about the sky—you’re so excited to see the sunrise in the morning over the lake. donghyuck sets an alarm so you don’t miss it, traces i love you against your forearm to see what it feels like and falls asleep too.

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now why have i seen someone make a post with way more than ten pictures? is there a way to cheat the system bc this ten photos max thing is ridiculous

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i want to write so badly rn but writing doesn’t want me back

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Do you have any fic recommendations?

yes! always! i answered this ask a while back with fic recs. these days, i’ve only been reading nct fics, mostly 18+. off the top of my head:

@yutaholic posted absolute masterpieces. i honestly don’t know what to do with myself after working my way through their masterlist. i’ll start rereading soon >.< my favorites:

call me by your name - yuta

daddy issues - johnny

deep end - yuta

flipside - mark

forget me too - johnny

heathens - yuta

jealousy - mark

small doses - taeyong

use me - taeyong

@hyuckmov rockstar haechan sent me to the moon

@smileysuh - paperclip

@hazyhae - indica dreams

@meiozis - full of love (and stars)

for more ~ i reblog nct fics to @haechanglides with the tags sticky feelings and sweet like honey. svt fic recs can be found on @toyo-u with the same tags. my nsfw recs @rainonthebathroomfloor with, once again, the same tags

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love when fics make me feel insane <3 writing so good i forget who i am, where i am, etc

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(Same anon as before- haha sorry) ALSO YOUR BLOG LITERALLY FEEDS MY SOUL WITH THE BEST OF THE BEST THANK YOUUUUU

i’m adding your first ask as a screenshot because i want to save it for writing purposes >.< also, absolutely no reason to apologize!

yes! i know what you’re talking about, and it’s something that makes my heart burst. love is so magical. becoming a collection of people we’ve loved and love is magical, and i adore the idea of using this as inspiration for some bts writing. ahhhh i’m so excited 🥺 i never want to be desperate for asks/anons, but i can’t pretend not to want them when the ideas they create are fucking golden. thank you abundantly for this one 💗

oh my heart!! thank you for your kind words 💗🖤 i’m all about feeding the soul, so i feel honored to know my blog creates some yummy, green food for yours 🍏

you too! sending you so much love 🌬️

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Yess pls write a friends to lovers series with whoever you, I love f2l and your writing always does it justice 😭😭

ahhh ok!! this is happening now!

i saw your ask and went off to write mingyu’s, so cheers to the sudden wave of inspiration!! and thank you so much 🥺 i’m so glad you think so 💗🖤

i guess i’m writing a friends to lovers series >.<

if you have requests of scenes/themes + a member, send them my way!

bts / svt / nct

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i can’t get away from friends to lovers. it’s my go to for writing, probably bc i find it so ideal and comforting.

last night i wrote out all the dialogue for a friends to lovers scene. i wrote it with mark in mind, but i’m considering a ~transfer to seventeen bc i miss writing for seventeen. if it stays mark, positing it on my secret side blog. if it transfers to svt, posting it here.

maybe i should just write a friends to lovers series

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going to make a post (that no one asked for) detailing each song or songs i personally tie to every svt member — the song that is “theirs” in my head or the song that they specifically stand out in for me

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Now we want to know your side blog >.<

👀 i’m still debating sharing it >.<

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hmmmm should i go see txt in chicago…

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Yoshitomo Nara (Japanese b. 1959), Girl with a Knife, 1999. Acrylic, graphite, coloured pencil and crayon on paper, 20 1/8 x 14 1/8in. | 51 x 36cm.

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inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.

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me watching physical: 100: 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🫠🫠😍