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GG: Do you remember around when we first started talking? […] GG: And you claimed you were the one making my pumpkins disappear? [...] GG: You later proceeded to try to prove to me that what you were saying was true. GG: But none of your attempts thereafter would ever bear any fruit, pardon the pun. […] GG: And I think this unfortunately began a pattern of mistrust.

The signal was manually blocked by CrockerCorp, no doubt - and that was all it took to send Jane down a path to mistrust, suspicion and isolation.

It's easy, when you have her in the palm of your hand.

TG: i cant just always appearify stuff from you any time i want TG: i can only take stuff im "allowed" 2 which is pmuch random TG: like stuff that by takin id be messing up the time line cause that stuff is supposed to be there and serve some funciton it hasnt served yet […] TG: but pumpins 4 some reason are a lil easier to take i dunno why TG: like they are specifically and arbitrorily unhinged from spacetime

There's simply no force in this reality greater than the memetic effect of a long-running Hussie Joke.

TG: i so gonked your gaurds jane GG: … GG: Did you gank them when my gourd was down?

Fuck, Jane, that was a bona-fide dad joke!

This girl's filling a lot of roles that this cast has been sorely missing up until now. Out of all the Alpha Kids, she's the most unlike her B1 counterpart - which makes her so interesting to read. She might not be an Heir of Breath, but she is a breath of fresh air.

TG: im psyched about u wanting to believe me and all TG: but part of me still feels like i should prove it TG: like i tried to once TG: it was just frustratin i mean im a sciestist i should be able 2 prove my shit TG: like TG: subject my claims to the fuckin madrigogs GG: Um… GG: Madrigogs? TG: *mad rigors

Roxy, for her part, seems to be as much of a scientist as Mom was implied to be. Mad science ladies are possibly my favourite archetype ever; thus, Roxy's speedrun to S-Tier continues.

Anyway, it looks like Roxy's about to try and prove... something. It's hard to say what would completely sway Jane, though - after all, the girl's already seen a First Guardian and a robot bunny. If they couldn't convince her that something funny was going on, what will?

TG: i mean trust between friends is sweet and everything but i dont know if i wanta be the repipient of like a butt load of pity believins

Bit of a sore point, I gather. She's already sick of this shit with Jake.

GG: It's not about pity! GG: It's more like a gesture I'm trying to make. GG: Or maybe that's not quite right. GG: It has more to do with setting things right for myself than making it up to you. GG: Does that make sense? TG: ………….

I agree with Roxy's silence, here, because something about Jane's attitude is rubbing me me the wrong way. Like, I can't put my finger on why, exactly, but something about this self-centered attitude to remorse is a little...

...ominous.

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collegestuck dirk writes a predictive text generator to write his philosophy thesis for him. it gains sentience and nukes dirks hard drive

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fancy god tiers how i love you

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Three Of Swords

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im seriously out of touch w/ using my tablet so im trying to ease back into it uugh

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And it’s still funny 15 years later idc

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if this post reaches 100k notes by Halloween I will read Homestuck

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Looks like PM's following the meteor as well. I guess it is the quickest way to find Jack, but I doubt she'll be able to catch up with him until he stops somewhere; their maximum speeds should be almost identical.

Woah, what?

...ok, I thought this was just a quick end-of-intermission animation, but it looks like it's a full-length, plot-relevant [S] page. We'll liveblog this in full later today!

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i accidentally made dave really short but i cant be bothered to go back and fix it ahehahhahahha sorry dave

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Gotta say, I'm impressed at how quickly Davesprite put this together. Even with sprite magic, he had mere seconds to conceptualize this bit before John threw the bucket.

this is john. actually, it is john, jade, and dave sprite. we all contributed to the contents of this bucket!

I know John well enough to be 100% sure that this was not an accident. He knows exactly what he's doing here.

i deeply regret that i will not be present for these highly touted "TROLL/HUMAN SLOPPY MAKEOUTS", ha ha. maybe in three years, assuming you all aren't totally smooched out by then!!!

Fucking get his ass, John!

This is the humans' final vengeance for Project Trolling, and it is glorious.

rose and dave, you both look totally sweet! i can't believe you're both god tiers now. did you know jade is too? also, she has dog ears. she looks fantastic. how cool is it that we're all god tiers? it's like we're a super hero team, or some kind of anime squad. like the sailor moons, i guess, but not as lame, or as sexy.

I love the implication here that John's low-key into magical girl shows, and has a huge crush on the Sailor Scouts in particular. Dude is not beating the transfem allegations.

i'm already looking forward to this new session so hard. it was a fun adventure we had today, wasn't it?

One single day - but for me, as well as the liveblog's readership, that single day lasted almost three years. It's pretty wild that time is actually moving now.

i'll even miss talking to the trolls too. say hi to them for me, even though i didn't get to know many. except karkat obviously, and oh yeah, vriska too. vriska, if you read this, thanks again for all your help.

I'd honestly give decent odds that Vriska will be back in the picture before John's even learned she's dead - and we love that for her.

but now jade says i have to finish quickly! she wants me to throw this bucket and its heartfelt payload through her mysterious portal. so here i go.

This kid really is merciless. He pretends to be oblivious to this stuff, but we all know the truth - that this message was a prankster's masterful gambit, expertly constructed to get Karkat' goat.

It's John's finally gift to his friends, before they start their respective three-year journeys - and I'm sure it's appreciated.

Oh, fuck yes.

Oh yeah, this is going down immediately.

I'm so sad that this is an animation, rather than a set of gifs, because I could get a lot of mileage out of Rose's little eyebrow waggle.

Looks like Terezi's finally made up her mind about whether she's in Dave's human grill - and it appears she's landed squarely in the affirmative.

Of course, with all these couples pairing off, Karkat's only got one option left...

And this, I believe, is a tl;dr of the next three years.

Godspeed, Team Meteor. I await your updates to my shipping diagram with bated breath. o7

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DAVE: wait has the juggalo troll been giving you guys fits like this or something DAVE: like this is a thing DAVE: like a pattern KARKAT: NICE GUESS SHIT HEAD! DAVE: oh man one of you has got to sit me down and tell me what actually happened here it all just sounds fuckin amazing in sort of the stupidest way possible

Dave, it's so much worse than you think.

Enjoy the next three years, dude. You'd better get really fucking good at recognizing the faint honking of a distant clown.

KARKAT: YEAH, HE DOES THIS KARKAT: HE SORT OF COLLECTS BODIES AND DECAPITATES THEM AND STUFF KARKAT: STICKS THEM IN BIG SCIENCE JARS, FOR SOME REASON?? KANAYA: Im Pretty Sure He Kisses Them Too Sometimes

Sorry, let me get this straight. You were fully aware of this behavior, but you still tried to form a quadrant with him?

Like... Karkat. The whole universe is telling you that this guy's a little beyond the help of your average moirail. If you want to do something for Gamzee, it's going to need to be a group effort - and if I were a betting gal, I'd guess that the Seers will be the key to his recovery, particularly Terezi.

KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN DAVE: not really DAVE: oh wait DAVE: against all odds i sorta do DAVE: mine actually did do that once

This revelation is not even slightly inconsistent with the established personality of Bro 'Bigger Dirk' Strider.

DAVE: when i was really young DAVE: he made this stupid leather bib for me out of a goddamn horse […] ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it? DAVE: yeah […] ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.

...alright, I don't have a clue how knowing about Maplehoof's death applies to Rose's Path to Victory ability. How does this help her achieve anyone's personal goal?

Maybe Rose obtained multiple Seer abilities upon ascension. After all, God Tier John has a bunch of Breath powers, so there's no reason why Rose should be restricted to one single Light ability, powerful as it is. Maybe this 'clarity' is another facet of Light, then, allowing Rose to see the connections between disparate pieces of information, and tie it all together, like a web of string on a Pepe Silvia evidence board.

DAVE: well shit DAVE: thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving DAVE: but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work

...holy shit.

Holy shit, this is the line!

Anyone who's used Tumblr in the last ten years has seen The Line - probably dozens of times, in dozens of different contexts. It's part of Tumblr's vernacular - and, up until this moment, it had completely slipped my mind that it was a Homestuck line.

Forget about Cascade, Act 6, or the comic's official halfway point. This is my greatest milestone as a Homestuck reader: learning that The Line is (and always was) about skinning a time-travelling pony.

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KANAYA: As Nice As It Sounds To Move On KANAYA: I Dont Know If I Can Stand Three Of Your Human Years Of More Darkness

We have a Light Player! We have your Light Player, Kanaya! Come on, we can sort something out!

ARADIA: but kanaya you still have important work to finish too! […] KANAYA: What Are You Talking About ARADIA: our race is extinct remember […] ARADIA: your job was to see to the resurrection of our people KANAYA: What Real Hope Is There For That KANAYA: The Orb Was Destroyed KANAYA: I Was Never Able To Duplicate It The Grist Cost Was Astronomical

I've got a workable solution for this one, actually.

Four new Lands means four new Grist Hoards.

Since the kids' four-Player session was supposed to make a universe, we can assume that the Hoards of the original four Lands are sufficient to fulfil that purpose. Therefore, the B2 Hoards are redundant, and Kanaya could potentially dip into them to make another Matriorb.

KANAYA: Doesnt Rose Know KANAYA: Cant You See The Path To Victory On This Matter

Alright, now Hussie's just fucking with me personally.

Like, I know for a fact that the phrase 'path(s) to victory' didn't show up in Worm until 2013, so this really is just a bizarre coincidence. Hussie just keeps making these incredibly on-the-nose references that are, nevertheless, provably accidental.

ROSE: It's hard to say. ROSE: Does the repopulation of your species qualify as victory? ROSE: These things aren't always clear cut. Some outcomes are for your own judgment. ROSE: What outcome would you like the most?

I thought that this would be the catch. Rose can see the path to anyone's personal 'victory', but she has no control over what that victory actually looks like. Plus, since we can't really control our own deepest desires, her targets can't manipulate this ability either.

They simply get a path to whatever they happen to want most, at that exact moment - and based on how Rose is describing things, she doesn't even get to know what that is. She sees the path, but not the goal.

KANAYA: I Would Like To Have The Orb Again And To Keep It Safe This Time KANAYA: And I Guess To Not Be A Total Failure

Aw, Kanaya...

If I had to take a guess, I'd say that what Kanaya wants the most is to revive and protect trollkind, including the trolls standing around her right now.

ROSE: If you follow my advice, I can at least promise you will find yourself in the best position to determine whether that may come to pass.

And Rose.... can't even confirm if there is a path to that.

Unlike Contessa, she doesn't get to know if her path is unachievable in all possible timelines - so she'll never know if her current task is fruitless. Not until the very end.

KANAYA: … ROSE: Can you please come? ROSE: Between the two of us, you with your inexplicably heretofore unmentioned phosphorescence, and I with my nigh-reflective traffic cone orange sun-sari, the meteor should never be too dark.

Come on, Maryam, that was so smooth.

Surely you have to come with us now, if only to hear more Lalonde Pickup Lines.

KARKAT: (sollux, oh my god is it me or is everybody already just fucking hitting on each other left and right? oh god i can't take sweeps of this shit, don't leave me alone here, please don't)

Too late, motherfucker!

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Kanaya is such a fascinatingly complex character, and surprisingly difficult to get right.

The level one understanding of kanaya is her as a sofisticated elegant lady. This is because she is a fashionista and speaks overtly formal.

But the thing you gotta understand about her speech pattern is that she doesnt speak like that because she cares about propriety and decency and protocol. She speaks like that because she is really awkward and is trying as hard as possible to be precise with her words.

Kanaya, i feel, is generally an awkward person. Whenever shes seen standing around a group of people shes never doing much except stare with a neutral expression, not too sure what to do with herself.

Another common mistake with kanaya is when shes presented as motherly. Shes not really a nurturing person, in fact at times she can come off as a bit aloof or distant. People view her that way because she is associated with the dolorosa and the mother grub, because she is the most femme of the trolls and because she is the most level headed and emotionally stable troll, which makes her seem as the most mature in the group and thus sort of the mom friend.

People think shes very serious or humorless because shes not very emotionally expressive (except when she is) and because she doesnt curse as much as the characters around her. but she has a very dry incisive wit. And also she can be extremely silly, almost despite herself. Like she almost doesnt seem to notice when she blurts something ridiculous like "impromputations", it just comes out of her instinctually and if she does notice she just blows past it.

And she does curse, not frequently, but she does, either as a way to punctuate a sentence or show her disdain towards something ("It Really Is Such Bullshit") or to express frustration when her precise language is not up to the task ("Just, Fuck That Guy")

I think one of the best captures of her personality is the polish fashion historian youtuber karolina zebrowska

a good rule of thumb is "imagine what youd get if a child was raised by glinda and elphaba from wicked"

Anotger thing about her is her use of violence. She is restrained and generally pacifistic. But she is a troll at the end of tge day and she CAN very much deploy violence when needed. In fact when she does so it tends to be savage and unrestrained. The fact that her strife specibus is the lipstick chainsaw works so wonderfully well in so many levels. She very much has a temper and though it takes a time for it to boil over, when it does it is in very destructive ways.

She IS polite, she is protective, she is generally calm. But she is so much more than that. Shes awkward, and emotional and temperamental, and dismissive and very sassy, and kind of a brute when her anger gets the best of her, and so very fiercely loyal, and she doesnt know how to stand still in a way that feels natural, or what to do with her hands so they just sit at her sides.

She's the best troll.

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guess wwho started reading homestuck in 2025

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March eridan (offensive caricature, though probably will deny this for some reason)

i agree that the overwhelming majority of march eridan fan content is transmisogynistic (which i assume is what you're referring to here) but i also want to put on the nuance cap for a moment and recognize that the original creator of the march illustration for the fan calendar is a trans woman and that we don't know what her intentions for the piece were other than "drawing some homestuck characters in dresses" and i think that calling the original artwork inherently transmisogynistic without knowing the full context is fairly baseless

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Made a couple wallpapers based on the beta kids aspects

(heavily inspired by this post)

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