homestuck-without-words

[homestuck-without-words]

The springy conveyance is called a pogo ride. Fuck you

Sorry sorry. That last one was a bit much. Give me a moment to clear my head

[homestuck-without-words]

Fukin what

Oh tight this was uh the blank card or aomething

so it just goes dowb a little okay

No waves because it is blank

I am blanked and I can guarantee you things are WAVY right now my non-sapient friend

Homestuck is unrealistic and bad

[homestuck-without-words]

I have the names of all these devices written down here. I could easily reach over and elucidate myself. I shall be reaching in a different direction instead. Elucidation may come regardless.

Pooplord makes cylinders wavy. The cylinders are wavy in different ways. A correspondence to the hole-punched cards is likely. I continue to be utterly disinterested in all this primitive technology chicanery.

Rolonde, can you drop these into a pit as well for me? Please and thank you.

[homestuck-without-words]

Sometimes your hobby is thwarting the hobbies of others. One of my favorites, actually.

[homestuck-without-words]

Everyone needs a hobby.

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DEFEND YOURSELF, ABEL!

[homestuck-without-words]

Hmmm. Bro. Short for brother. But also a slangform often applied to non-familial relationships. Sometimes to complete strangers. Albeit in a usually mocking, dismissive capacity. Blue text here would have confirmed my suspicions. Red text does not move the needle at all.

[homestuck-without-words]

When times are tough, it is always good to look for help. Maybe by reaching out to friends.

Stupid lucky Abel.

[homestuck-without-words]

While this scenario is obviously troubling and damaging. Seeing Abel's discomfort boil over into actual anger. Even rage. It is a good character moment. Even in the relatively short time we have known thon, there has been character growth.

The sexual framing of the second subfile alone is still deeply unnerving. I hope this plot point is resolved soon.

[homestuck-without-words]

So, here's the thing about narrative. It's a broadly linear conceit.

Information is given to the audience. From that information the audience builds a world. Characters to inhabit that world. Arcs for those characters. The order in which information is revealed is very important. Plot twists and reveals of course exist. They exist at the pleasure of the rest of the narrative's linearity. This is why history texts rarely contain shocking twist flashback reveals. When a shocking twist happens, it's always due to previously established dynamics.

In a vacuum, this sequence is mundane. Bordering on humorous. Even lighthearted and whimsical. A child has been tricked into covering thonself in presumably soft toys. A classic gambit well known to adherents of The Hated Frog and his fellow animal infants.

But we have already been shown the illicit nature of these plush inanimate gremlins. Not only have we been shown that they are props for illicit media of some sort. Possibly even straight-up pornography. Probably even. We have already been explicitly shown Abel's discomfort in their presence. The use of "explicit" in that sentence was not wordplay.

And this is. Frankly. Not okay. This was an intentional act. Specifically, the intentional act of a parental guardian to cover their charge in sexual paraphernalia against their will. It is a complete violation of

Wait a minute.

Oh shit okay

Okay okay

So, it's still bad. What is happening to Abel is not good.

But I just figured it out. This isn't being done to thon by thon's parent.

Remember that tall blue monster who suddenly appeared without warning? That used the element of surprise to eject urine into Abel's objects? This is almost certainly the work of that vile, probably prank-prone creature. Maybe Abel's parent is guilty of negligence. Of not properly securing adult materials. But if this is indeed the work of a fey trickster, there's really not much a parent can do to stop shenanigans.

Phew. I was honestly starting to get really worried and concerned. Homestuck does admittedly swing in its tone somewhat. Bludgeon-based attempted patricide and all that. But even that we just recently learned was less dangerous for Dadlord than first appeared. Suddenly depicting explicit child abuse through intentional infliction of pornographic materials would be a pretty dark and jarring swerve.

That might even be the intended conclusion for the reader at this point. But I have figured out the twist ahead of time! The blue monster is to blame for this. The blue monster might represent something sexually troubling in terms of theme but... I'm inclined to just take the win at this point.

[homestuck-without-words]

It was a reflection of a message scrawled into the ceiling. Hopefully in ink. Abel’s prankster needs to get with the program and use the name I gave thon. If, based on size and recurring narrative pattern, the prankster is Abel’s guardian. I am probably a better parent to Abel than thon could ever be.

This just doesn’t seem like the right way to rear progeny.

[homestuck-without-words]

This would be more pleasant. It it did not remind me of. Wait. What is that faint outline? A message scrawled in ink on chrome?

[homestuck-without-words]

I do not enjoy the way in which this was conveyed. A frankly perverse level of attention to detail.

[homestuck-without-words]

Well this just seems like a nonsensical parade of increasingly bad ideas. I blame Abel less than Pooplord. I am still displeased with this foolishness.

[homestuck-without-words]

If there was one lesson I learned from both Muppet Babies and The Hunt, it would be Always Look Up.

[homestuck-without-words]

Awww, but this friend is pretty charming.

[homestuck-without-words]

I need to stop thinking about Muppet Babies.

I fucking hate Homestuck.