honeybadger-who-gives-a-shit

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Voyager AU where by season 6 Janeway has abandoned nostalgia and decorum all together and has moved the entire ship into a captured Borg cube. The cube is Voyager now.

When they first take the cube over the Borg Queen calls them on subspace zoom to threaten them but Janeway pretends the queen is muted and then hangs up on her.  

Neelix installs a huge kitchen running on borg transkinetic superneural circuitry. The leola root lasagna still tastes bad.

The new holodecks span 7 decks. The controls tries to assimilate the crew about once month but that’s only a 5 % increase compared to the old holodeck death rate, so they live with it.

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the minute yall said janeway in a trenchcoat I was pen to iPad

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okok i think we should revisit Human Error VOY 7x18 with the added context that seven of nine is a lesbian now. its all about the trauma of being a borg n pushing all that down to play pretend Im Totally A Normal Human Now Im Coping! girl sees herself as the monster in the mirror and IMMEDIATELY throws herself into the most fake comphet relationship she could find - she even literally choose chakotay, calling him "an appropriate choice", like how as a kid ur classmates keep pesting you for your crush so you "choose" a boy to crush on. clearly the words of someone who hasnt 4d chessed her way into Correct Feelings. i, like many of us im sure, think the chakotay/seven romance is badly written but if we consider it instead as repressed seven trying to shove herself into a human mould amigara fault style it gets *chefs kiss*

Chakotay is Safe and Appropriate and often seen as an emotional and moral guide so who better to project "how to be a good human" onto. she doesnt even really see him as HIM this episode and hes mainly there to fufill a loving role - he never talks about himself or expresses anything of his history like he often does with janeway - hes here only as an extension of seven! they do HER hobbies, cooking and piano! he lavishes affection on HER just to lavish it! he is a ken doll for her to try out romance on essentially.

i also think its so telling especially when in the holodeck shes made up so femininely, hair flowing, makeup, tight revealing dresses, fitting herself into this Ideal of what she "should" be to be a Good and Upstanding Human - shes removed all her implants!!!! all the monster and trauma she has!!!!!!!!!

something something gays identifying with monsters something horrible is inside u that will rip n tear its way out smth smmth idk but i think we need to collectively cook with this

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It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

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We were robbed and not in a fun ocean way

i low key ship debbie and tammy.

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i really do want to see what the alpha quadrant yelp reviews for quark's bar are like. do they fuck with him. does he get 100% negative reviews from bajorans for working for cardassians

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i'm obsessed with problematic relationships with age gaps where the age gap is the least problematic thing about their relationship

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✨Star Trek ladies wearing outfits I have saved on pinterest✨ (pt. 1)

(click images for optimal quality!)

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Love this so much

one trek headcanon I have is that plomeek soup is a chai tea situation. plomeek is just the vulcan word for soup, actually. on the first enterprise, having to make do with mostly earth ingredients, t'pol hashed together a simplified version of a comforting soup native to her region of vulcan and one thing led to another and now that regional variation of a single soup recipe is called soup soup by the federation

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always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

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New Star Trek spinoff idea: This

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Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?

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my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

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honestly tragic there was never a star trek show weird and ok with showing gay people yet also homophobic enough at the same time to do a planet of gays episode where gay is straight and straight is gay i mean they sort of did that with the unbearably confused couldnt tell if it was being a gay or trans metaphor episode where that metaphor trans girl was most oppressed for desiring to be heterosexual in a world without gender but that was almost too self serious i mean it is star trek it would still believe the episode where riker endures heterophobia on planet gay was a really important mission statement episode and being boldly political but again whats really vital is we need the evil gay ruling class oppressing the poor sweet heteros we need the enterprise crew pretending to be gay for diplomacy purposes and it needs to be painfully dated and homophobic one can imagine different versions for different eras... in tos it would be like planet entirely of men or entirely of women and they wouldnt say it was planet of gays but it would be like all the most misogynistic moments of spocks brain but like with no respite and kirk would prove to the cold lesbian ice queen ruler of the planet that men are real flesh and blood and teach her how to love and spock would be really popular with planet lesbian if it was tng it would be like we are really bravely showing the homophobia thru the lens of straight people it would be exactly like the world where gay is straight and straight is gay viral youtube video and riker would save a poor woman from a life of cruel lesbian political marriage she doesnt believe in and teach her how to love... planet gays readily accepts captain picard as one of their own its all painfully serious and miserable if it was on ds9 it would be a ferengi episode where they delve into the deranged homosocial ferengi customs and its one of the worst episodes ever made they make sure that everyone knows part of the reason quark left ferenginar was because he wasnt "like that" but also keep making quark gay jokes anyways if it was on voyager they would use it as an opportunity to prove captain janeway is not a lesbian and really doesnt appreciate people saying that about her tom and harry would end up in an evil gay bar and get their kidneys stolen if it was on enterprise it would be a near constant unending barrage of unfunny gay jokes and the episode was never syndicated again after widespread protests as to its offensiveness malcolm and trip go to a bar and keep making more extreme gross out faces about getting hit on by men and have to put on a deeply painful gay stereotype performance to leave a situation unscathed t'pol experiences reverse homophobia heterophobia from the planets women but the enterprise crew keeps joking she might be gay and she gets it from both sides regularly rated one of the worst episodes of star trek ever made