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im not passive-aggressive. im just aggressive. i dont even know what passive means. ill fucking kill you

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“ I WON’T BUDGE ON WANTING LOVE : HUMAN TOUCH : NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PROFITABLE ”     |     ind. multi muse. highly selective. mutually exclusive. low activity. muses from the stranger things, jane the virgin, gilmore girls, psych, leverage, arrow and truly at this point, whatever makes your local bi girl happy.           quote ©   |   template © !

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I brought a knife to the gunfight. I am the knife / I am all blade.

Clementine von Radics, from “Vigil,” Dream Girl (via cherylblosscm)

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this    still    very    much    stands  .            i    will    hopefully    be    on    here    more    regularly    and    do    some    drafts    later    but    i’m    most    often    on     glinda     so    that’s    the    best    place    to    reach    me    if    i’m    not    on    here  .

sorry    i    can’t    really    be    online    at    the    moment  .           i’m    not    sure    when    i’ll    be    back    writing    but    i’ve    been    very    ill    and    had    some    horrible    news    and    i’m    not    sure    where    i    stand    with    most    people    on    or    offline    so    i’m    just    going    to    be    away     for    a    while    idk    how    long  .            this    goes    for    all    my    blogs    and    i    will    be    reachable    by    im    and    disc.ord    but    pls    excuse    me    if    im    distant    or    slow  .             i’m    in    a    very    bad    place    rn    and    there    is    a    lot    going    on    irl  .

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There’s grief and grief: / Time may be stronger than the one, I have heard; but / one / feeds on the heart until, suddenly, / After years, the structure collapses, from within.

Frances Bellerby, from Selected Poems; “The House” (via weltenwellen)

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girlfade  .                    *      /      jessica    jones  .

she  knew  all  too  well  how  it  felt  to  die    –    how swiftly death’s long,  deft fingers could pierce the soft underbelly of animal  &  human alike,  only to rip and destroy and hurt.  death was an emptying,  a pouring out.   there was a taxidermy store jessica had to pass in the morning when she craved a coffee  –  and though she’d never stepped inside  (for fear of the overwhelming sense of postponed decay),  she had thought about it a great many times.  the way their insides  -  the final pieces that belonged to them,  their substance  -  had been pulled out bit by bit and replaced with something foreign,  something harder.  she understood.        ❝   right.  ❞       her tone,  though guarded,  seemed to harbour a twisted curiousity   –   why it was that she was drawn to the darkness in this girl’s voice she was unsure,  but her eyes narrowed regardless,  shoulders slumping in a shallow attempt to match her height.        ❝   and what do you know about that ?   ❞

she    had   ,        too   ,        been     emptied   .            a    decay    had    begun    within    her    gut    and    within    the    rot    now    lived    the    eternal    festering  .            you    seek    to    shrink    down            (            resist    expansion    into    the    void    that’d    found     HOME   !     inside    you            )            and    create    a    spin    within    where    she    could    remain    whole  .             what    do    you    know    about    that   ?            what    do    you    know    what    do    you    know  .            (            stupid    girl  .            foolish    and    weak  .             liar    liar             )  .            her    mother’s    words    echoed    in    unfamiliar    tone    by    the    woman    before    her    caused    claudia    to    take    a     sudden    step    back    ,        as    though    stunned    or    slapped  .                    ❝            i    dunno  .            ❞                    walls     snapped    up  .             hands    balled    to    fists    in    outward    defence  .                    ❝            if    i    tell    you   ,        you    just    ain’t    gonna    believe    me    and    then    i    gotta    run    away    again   ,            ❞                     and    i’m    tired    ,        tired    so    tired    of    running    away  .            red    rimmed    eyes    carrying    darkness    both    beneath    and    within    and    limbs     sluggish     and    slow  .                    ❝            i    can’t    tell    you    if    you’re     NOT   !     gonna    help    me    after  .            ❞ 

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cowlfound  .                    *      /      barbara    gordon  .

‘’oh my god ! ‘’ there clear is elation woven into the words. smile is bright, radiant, highlighting her surprise. / laughter falls from barbara’s lips, nose scrunches up ever so slightly. claudia’s movements seem almost dream-like, all warm glow & summer haze. she really did very look pretty. ‘’ i adore that color on you  ! what made you decide you wanted to dye it ? ‘’ 

her    laughter    bubbled    like    the     tiny    crystal    -    esque    baubles     that    rose    through    champagne            (            not    that    she’d    even    wined    and    dined    on    anything    so    fancy            )  .            a    half    -    spin    and    coy    toss    of    dyed    locks   ,        so    uncharacteristically    girly    and    airy    light  .            new    look    /    new    you            (            same    shitty    old    problems            )  .                    ❝            just    fancied    a    change            --            kinda    thought    it’d    be    as     CLOSE   !     to    a    decent    disguise    i    could    afford    for    a    new    bucks  .             you     ever    dye    yours   ?            ❞ 

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Some angsty sentence starters.

“ It wasn’t your fault. ” “ You’re not leaving, are you? ” “ Don’t leave. ” “ Don’t do this to yourself. ” “ I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much. ” “ Just talk to me. Please. ” “ You need help.” “ Let me help you. ” “ Stop pushing everyone away. ” “ You haven’t been yourself lately. ” “ I’m not going anywhere. ” “ You’re hurting me. ” “ Please, just let me go. ” “ I can’t do this anymore. ” “ I need help. ” “ There’s nothing you can do. ” “ I just need some time to myself. ” “ Leave me alone. ” “ I’m so, so sorry. ” “ It’s better this way. ” “ I don’t want to lose you, too. ” “ I can’t promise anything. ” “ Don’t make this harder than it already is. ”

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scavengememes:

DAUGHTER’S  ❝ IF YOU LEAVE + EPS ❞  SENTENCE STARTERS

WINTER

“please take me back to when i was yours.”

“i needed - i needed you.”

“now we are strangers.”

“we’re too similars.”

SMOTHER

“i want him but we’re not right.”

“i should go now, quietly.”

“what a mess i leave.”

“i’m sorry if i smothered you.”

YOUTH

“we are the wild youth.”

“you broke my chest.”

“most of us are bitter over someone.”

“i’m forever missing him.”

STILL

“we’re still sleeping like we’re lovers.”

“leaves nowhere to go.”

LIFEFORMS

“they can kill without warning.”

“you always find another place to go.”

“you can try to forget but i won’t let you.”

TOMORROW

“we’ll be nothing but dust.”

“don’t bring tomorrow.”

“i already know i’ll lose you.”

HUMAN

“i’ve tried to escape.”

“despite everything i’m still human.”

“i think i’m dying here.”

TOUCH

“give me touch, because i’ve been missing it.”

“just so i can feel something.”

“just take me back into your house.”

AMSTERDAM

“i’ll escape with him.”

“i’ll go home.”

“i’ve been thinking that i should see someone.”

“i used to dream of adventure.”

“is this called living?”

SHALLOWS

“if you leave when i go, find me.”

“will you run away?”

HOME

“i was drunk again.”

“you’re not a friend - you’re nothing.”

“i think i should be a little more confident.”

“keep the nightmares out.”

“i can’t live without you.”

“take me home.”

MEDICINE

“you’ve got a second chance - you could go home.”

“you could still be what you want to.”

“you’ve got a warm heart.”

LOVE

“i know you regret it.”

“i still wonder why.”

“i can’t erase it from my mind.”

“did she give you what you’d hoped for?”

LANDFILL

“don’t think about the consequences.”

“don’t you dare look back.”

“i want you so much.”

“i hate you.”

“thought you said you didn’t feel pain.”

THE WOODS

“we are what we are.”

“i look out for you.”

CANDLES

“i’ll do whatever you say.”

“we learn from the ones we hate the most.”

“i’ll never be your lover.”

RUN

“i don’t know where he’s going.”

“we’ve got nothing to say.”

“i think we should run.”

“we’ll just keep each other as safe as we can.”

“i don’t want to be alone when i’m in this state.”

SMOKE

“i’m losing my friend.”

“it’s a terrible night.”

“then i’m alone again.”

“we’re dying.”

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asperad  .                    *      /      stella    gibson  .

❝     YES,     IT   WOULD.     ❞          the   edges   of   her   lips   twitch   as   she   suppresses   the   urge   to   allow   her   lips   to   form   into   the   smallest   of   smirks.     anyone   else   speaking   to   her   in   such   a   matter     (     a   stranger,     colleague     ——     somebody   higher   up.     )     and   they   would   regret   ever   opening   their   mouth   near   her,     but   the   young   girl   in   a   way     ——     reminds   her   of   herself   at   such   an   age.          ❝     claudia   rowe.     ❞          to   answer   the   girls   question.     she   keeps   her   gaze   settled   on   her   momentarily   before   a   tongue   is   dipping   out,     gaze   drifting   down   before   brows   are   pulling   together.          ❝     do   you   know   why   i’m   here?     ❞

it    was    there    in    her    darkness    -    rimmed    eyes   ;        hate    me   ,        hate    me   ,        WHY    DON’T    YOU    HATE    ME   ?                    such    violent    force    would    have    been    comprehendible    but    the    smooth    acceptance    of    claudia’s     rage     startled    her  .            unsettling  .            irksome  .                    ❝            cool   ,        so    i    s ‘ pose    there’s    no    point    lying    then  .            ❞                    a    smirk    played    around    her    lips   ,        gnawed    to     bloody    scarred    flesh     upon    which    her    teeth    now    rested  .                    ❝            nah  .            i    dunno  .            ❞                    leaning    back    with     feigned     nonchalance  .            her    shoulders    shrugging    despite   tense    muscles  .                    ❝            because    it’s     YOUR    JOB   !     to    harass    people    who    haven’t    never    done    nothin ‘    wrong   ?            ❞ 

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sorry    i    can’t    really    be    online    at    the    moment  .           i’m    not    sure    when    i’ll    be    back    writing    but    i’ve    been    very    ill    and    had    some    horrible    news    and    i’m    not    sure    where    i    stand    with    most    people    on    or    offline    so    i’m    just    going    to    be    away     for    a    while    idk    how    long  .            this    goes    for    all    my    blogs    and    i    will    be    reachable    by    im    and    disc.ord    but    pls    excuse    me    if    im    distant    or    slow  .             i’m    in    a    very    bad    place    rn    and    there    is    a    lot    going    on    irl  .

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I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt. There has to be a way. To care for the wounds without reopening them. To name the pain without inviting it back into me.

Lora Mathis, If There’s A Way Out I’ll Take It (via thequotejournals)

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*choking back tears* wanna fight 

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“I have an endless scream in me,”

— Rainer Maria Rilke, tr. by Robert Bly, from “The Song the Blind Man Sings,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

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