howlingcastle3

[howlingcastle3]

Sometimes being nonhuman feels like this:

[howlingcastle3]

Fully prepared to accept my alterhumanity as a symptom of mental illness.

Why?

Because it changes absolutely nothing.

Maybe it's a delusion. Maybe it's a reaction to dissociation. Maybe it's a coping mechanism to hell knows what. Maybe it's the onset of psychosis or related disorders (though I highly doubt it).

But all that doesn't matter, but it's still real to me. It's my experience. It's my identity. It doesn't matter what it's caused by, I still feel how I feel. Just because it's a delusion or disorder to the rest of the world doesn't mean it's not my own personal reality.

At the end of the day, I'm still not human, because that's how I experience my own identity.

[howlingcastle3]

Added eyes to him :3

[howlingcastle3]

My mask ^^ it’s a brown fur gray wolf. Like me! This is only my third time making a mask but I like how it came out!

[howlingcastle3]

In the process of making my very own mask ^^

I don’t think it looks pretty good rn but I’m trying to trust the process. (I’m making a gray wolf)

[howlingcastle3]

I feel im always in a shift of some sort. I always feel my tail and my ears. The more I think about them the more apparent they become. I constantly feel my tail swaying or wagging and my ears flicking and moving.

[howlingcastle3]

[howlingcastle3]

THIS IS NOT A SEXUAL POST!!! I AM APOTHISEXUAL (sex-repulsed) AND A MINOR, PLEASE DO NOT SEXUALIZE THIS POST.

When I'm feeling shifty I really wish people would just treat me more like a cat. Like. Pet me when I want to be petted. Throw things for me to chase. Even better if there's another cat therian/catkin/feline nonhuman to act like a cat with me (play-fighting and stuff)

that would be SO euphoric

I wish treating alter/nonhumans like their kintype when they shift was more normalized; I don't want to ask people to do it because it may come off as weird or something :(

Can anyone relate to this?

[howlingcastle3]

People often say, “therians know they don’t identify as x animal physically” but i do. Physically i feel very disconnected from my human body. Sometimes I’m okay with it but most times i wish i had my ears and tail and paws and wolf body i know I’m supposed to have. It gets weird and feels cramped living in a body that’s not mine.

Often i go outside and wish i could just be on all fours everywhere i go, but i know that would not be safe for me to do so. It’s. Troubling to say the least.

I *know* i am a wolf. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

But i also know I’m a human, only physically.

So it’s very troubling and conflicting.