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httpdwaekki · 35 minutes

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this is so CUTE, omg i love it so much, i’m such a sucker for a good friends to lovers and this one is *chef’s kiss*

the voicemail?? sweet girl??? had me on the floor i love it 🤧

falling in love with you? - bang chan

a/n: first time writing angst?? is this angst?? ignore me i was feeling inspired by the neighbourhoods ‘cry baby’ at 10:30 pm haha (don’t come at me if it doesn’t make sense bc im feeling insecure abt it lmaoooo also yes, I didn’t proofread it 100%,,,more so like 50% bc I don’t have time)

word count: 3,428

synopsis: she was falling for him. he didn’t realize until his actions one night resulting in distance between the two. besties to lovers.

bang chan x fem!reader

please do not copy, steal or translate my works.

happy reading.

clover ☘︎

─ ☘︎*̥˚─── ☘︎*̥˚─

She senses a shift.

A shift that makes her stomach drop.

Sitting back observing Chan with his friends, something pokes at her observing how he’s interacting with this girl Jisung introduced two hours ago. She vaguely remembers Jisung saying how they knew a girl who graduated with them. All through school the stranger was interested in Chan. A bit of anger bubbles over the hurt, feeling slightly jealous tops it off. She has told Jisung how she felt about Chan. Yet, she is seeing the proof that he didn’t listen. Now she’s sitting beside the fire nursing a cocktail Hyunjin handed her an hour ago.

The pang in her heart starts hitting deep. Recalling all the shared intimate moments that began her soft spot for Chan was all in at once.

Buff arms wrapped around her middle after a rough week of college as she cried on Chan’s lap. When a distant family member passed while she was away at college; the way his hands trailed up her shirt rubbing soothing circles on her skin. The time she almost failed a class because a fellow classmate accused her of cheating on a final; Chan caressed her face in his hands, coaxing her to steady her erratic breathing reassuring that he would help her pass the class (and share words with that classmate).

It all seemed like a show now that he’s all up on someone.

She tries shaking off the memory of Chan resting his hands on her hips as they danced in the moonlight in the living room of his apartment feeling the effects of a night out. How she could feel his breath dance on her skin as he dipped his lips to the shell of her ear, whispering sweet nothings. Lips mere centimeters from interlocking- she remembers it all. But now she wishes she could forget as Chan is throwing an arm over the girl's shoulders, nudging his nose into her hair.

Biting her lip she leaves her drink abandoned on the grass shoving back the chair sliding past Minho and Seungmin roasting marshmallows. Her eyes burned and her chest felt heavy. She hears Minho call out to her. She kept pushing herself forwards.

Going through the house, her heavy steps echoed throughout the empty kitchen. Reaching Chan’s room she hurriedly gathers her belongings. She couldn’t dare to look up at the room that brought comfort, joy and…love.

She releases a bitter laugh.

She slams his door shut and spots Minho at the end of the hallway. His cat-like eyes pick up on her body language.

“Headed out this soon? Without saying goodbye?” He asks rhetorically, gently throwing his arms out to his side.

She inhaled a sharp breath, blinking back tears. “S-something came up. I just remembered.” Her voice was shallow.

Minho embraced his friend. “There is something else bothering you. Don’t lie to me. Just text me when you get home, okay?”

She nods. Minho smooths her hair down before heading back outside. She hears joyous singing and laughter as she ignites the engine to life. Throwing the car into reverse she backs onto the street leaving what she thought she had with Chan behind.

—-

The longest week passed since that night. Each day little reminders of Chan would flood her mind. Give or take some days were worse than others. Folding the laundry she came upon Chan’s favorite sweatshirt. His earthy, woodsy scent still lingered as she folded the article of clothing. She sits letting her eyes linger on the sweatshirt. Moments after the laundry was put away, she stuffs the sweatshirt in the bottom drawer of her dresser.

Later that day she couldn’t sit at her desk without twelve Polaroids and an abundance of photobooth strips staring at her. She holds her favorite picture strip of them. A small smile breaks out from her lips. She could hear his sweet giggle ringing in her ears. Chan’s fingers prodding into her hips making her squeal into his side in the third frame. She shoved the small reminders into the desk drawer under her notebooks.

Minho occasionally checked in asking if she wanted to talk. Again and again she would push the conversation off bringing up a whole new topic. Forgetting was something she was failing to do. She was perched on the couch typing up a new resumé when Chan’s number flashed up on her phone. Pausing her hands over the keyboard of her laptop, she let her phone screen go black. A minute passed before a message pops up.

christopher! :) : hey sweet girl. missed you saying goodbye that night. is everything alright?

Her chin drops to her chest.

Sweet girl.

She hated how hard that affected her.

Why couldn’t she be more angry than sorrowful?

Shaky thumbs paused over the screen, trying to bring herself to write back. Why did he wait this long to reach out? Does he not care about me? She thought.

The storm cloud over her head grows darker and larger with rage as she repeats the motions. Re-reading then deleting her reply. She lets out a choked sob once deleting the tenth message. She threw her phone to the other end of the couch with all her might. The phone bounces off the cushion onto the shag rug. She pressed the palms of her hands to her eyes trying to stop the tears from flowing. She was exhausted from all the crying. While she inhaled deep breaths, the voices in her head taunted her to forget him. But her heart was trying to tell her to hold on. She tucked her legs to her chest, hugging herself tightly watching the sunset with the tears that made the street lights twinkle.

She hated how she missed him.

—-

It takes Chan two weeks before he ends up at her doorstep. He shoots a look over his shoulders seeing her black car parked in the driveway. He playfully knocked as he always did, even though she had given him a key. No one came to the door. He tried again. No one.

Chan clicks her number, bringing the phone up to his ear as he peers around the front of the home. She picked up on the third ring.

“What do you want Chan?”

Chan was taken back by her hoarse voice. He makes his way back to the front door. “Are you home?”

A sniffle comes through the line before a response. “Why?”

Chan shoves the key into the deadlock, not bothering to hang up his phone while she’s crying out his name on the line. He pushes the door open.

“Y/n! Where are you?” He shouts.

Her sweet fragrance welcomes him. He missed the familiarity of her home. Instead he felt a different vibe that lingered in the air.

A bitter cold.

Her home was void of warmth and joy. Chan could almost swear he was in a stranger's home. Chan lets the door shut with a gentle click as he makes his way further into the house. Curtains were drawn shut. Everything seemed undisturbed from the last time he was over. He notices a large box set off to the side beside the trash can. Chan spots a familiar article of clothing peeking out from the semi-closed flaps. He opens the box seeing everything he’s left over her home or what he’s bought her. Picture frames of them stacked in the left side of the box. Dozens of polaroids. Little trinkets and notes were haphazardly thrown in. His large wolf plushie he won her that night the entire group went to the festival, it was hidden behind a pair of his sweatpants.

He drops everything into the box darting down the hallway to her office. The walls were bare, nothing looked the same.

“Y/n.” Chan calls out walking back into the hallway. “We need to talk. Where are you?”

As Chan ends up in the kitchen he hears the front door open and shut. The footsteps were not her’s. Chan goes on high alert, calling out to whoever welcomed themselves into his best friend’s house.

“Minho?” He says seeing the familiar face.

Minho pivots on his heel. A sour look pours over his neutral expression once seeing the Aussie.

“What are you doing here?” Minho asks bitterly.

Chan furrowed his eyebrows together. “What do you mean, ‘What are you doing here?’”

Minho shakes his head with a bitter smile appearing over his lips. “You’re just now checking in on her? Why did it take you more than a week to figure out something?”

Chan runs a quick hand through his curly hair. “Minho, what is going on?”

“Playing with y/n’s feelings is what’s going on.” He barked.

Minho stoops by Chan, snatching up the large box of objects. “Y/n sat and watched you that night getting super close to Jisung’s friend. I kept eyes on you that entire night. You didn’t even bother with y/n after that chick showed up. Just kicked her to the curb. And to text y/n almost two weeks after that night? What a friend you are Chan.”

Minho pauses before disappearing behind the hallway that leads to the front door. With a discourteous tone to his voice Minho leaves a warning to Chan. “You messed up your relationship with y/n. Wake up Chan. Or you won’t have any of us.”

Chan goes to open his mouth, but Minho beats him to it.

“You better be heading out right after me or I’m gonna call the cops. Lock up if you’re smart enough.”

—-

Jisung went to Y/n begging for forgiveness no sooner he saw Minho with this infuriated look on his face. Minho explains everything in utmost detail. Jisung’s stomach drops. Jisung explains to his friend what happened that night and why his friend was all touchy with Chan.

“Ji, you know I like Chan.” She mumbles.

Jisung rubs the back of his neck, ashamed to look into his friends' hurt eyes. “I kinda realized last second. Y/n, I really didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I swear!” Jisung rubs her shoulder causing her to glance away from her lap. Jisung’s eyes were hazy. “I feel horrible. I really do.”

She grasps Jisung’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “Jisung, I know you wouldn’t do this out of spite. You’re too sweet for that. I am a bit disappointed though.”

Jisung nods slowly. She does go on to explain how frustrated she felt with him. Jisung offers to talk to Chan but with Minho and Chan getting into it hours earlier, she saved Jisung the grief and told him to leave Chan be. It felt easier being able to talk with Minho and Jisung now that she’s opened up how she’s feeling. She felt less alone in the entire situation. Minho was her endless cheerleader on the days where she only sat doing nothing. Jisung encouraged her to go out and enjoy the fresh air. She was determined to get back into a steady routine with her two best friend’s help.

“Minho? Should I reach out to Chan?” She asks one day while sitting in Minho’s kitchen as he cooked dinner.

Minho sets the wooden spoon down, turning away from the stove. “It’s up to you. But I would let Chan be the first to say something. You are not in the wrong.”

She sits letting her mind replay Minho’s advice. She secretly hopes that Chan will pull through.

“I know he probably doesn’t care for me anymore.”

There’s that pang in her heart.

She continues. “I can’t seem to stop worrying how he’s doing.” She states, running a hand over Dori’s head who was perched in her lap.

Minho nods, understanding where she was coming from. “Give him time, y/n. Trust me. He’s probably losing sleep right now trying to figure out how to handle this.”

Minho was correct. Chan hasn’t slept for days on end. The guilt ate away at his consciousness. He didn't reach out to anyone. He was scared too. Until Changbin went to visit and talk to Chan but they ended up arguing. Changbin ended up telling Chan off, which left him in a bigger mess. The other boys questioned each other about what was going on now seeing that Changbin was heated. Minho kept quiet about the situation, giving both of his friends the privacy they deserved.

Laying wide awake, Chan finds himself in a trance looking at the picture frame on his nightstand of him and her sitting on the Ferris wheel with the biggest ball of cotton candy in his hand. Chan makes up his mind. A dial tone greets him no sooner he clicks her contact. He shakes his head letting the voicemail play.

“Hi it’s y/n! Just leave a message and I'll try my best to reach back. Thank you! Byeeee!”

“Y/n,” Chan breathes trying to keep his tone even from hearing her cheery voicemail. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not listening to my heart. I’m such an idiot. Those feelings between you and I,” His voice breaks.

“It may seem that I didn’t feel it. And I am so foolish to not be upfront with those feelings. It’s so unfair to you. Our relationship. Y/n, please don’t hate me.” Chan wept.

“I spend way too much time being so caught up in my head to not be in the moment with you. And if i could, i would redo it all for you. To be my truest self with you. I guess I was scared to fall in love with you. I think it's too late for me to be saying this, Y/n. You make me feel free. Free from anxiety. Free from these haunting thoughts in my head. Free to be my carefree self. I realize how you hold a special place in your heart. Yet, I made the mistake of playing with it. My heart is breaking with this unknown between us.” Chan pauses, releasing out another sob.

“Forgive me, y/n. Baby, please.”

—-

A small hand rubs up and down his forearm. Chan lay fast asleep with tear stained cheeks while cradling the blue koala plushie Y/n gifted him for his 24th birthday. He stirred slightly hearing a soft voice. Blinking slowly, the fuzziness slowly dissipated revealing the girl he was in love with.

Chan barely makes out her bloodshot eyes. She brings a hand up to cover her face letting out a small whine. Chan props himself up on an elbow leaning forwards reaching out his other arm to grasp her free hand.

“C’mere my sweet girl.” He whispered, his voice breaking. “My God, I'm so sorry.”

Her knees give the second Chan brings her to his chest. His arm is stretched sideways across her back, his hand placed at the back of her head. He stays like that for a couple moments waiting to see if she retracts back. Chan eventually lifts her so she’s seated on his lap once feeling her body give into his weight. Her tears stained his black hoodie as she wept. Chan’s heart swelled, knowing she’s in his arms not trying to push away. A glimmer of hope washed through him.

He was going to do this for her.

“Y/n, could you please look at me?” He asks through his cries.

She shook her head and pushed her nose further into the crook of his neck. Chan caressed the back of her head again but this time bringing his lips to linger on her temple.

“T-the v-voicemail. Channie.” She wailed. She pauses, fisting Chan’s hoodie tighter. “I can’t hate you. But- I felt like you didn’t care for me a-anymore after that n-night. Like I-I was just a toy.”

Chan strains back a shaky breath. The very sentence he didn’t want to hear from her lips. He wrapped his arms tighter giving his promise to protect from here on out.

—-

“Channie?”

Her voice cut through the heavy silence. It was nighttime now. They cried and cried after discussing their thoughts and feelings, mending their broken pieces of their hearts. She ended up falling asleep first, Chan following shortly after. The moonlight coats over the two cuddled in bed. Chan released a groan- a deeper one due to the fact he’s strained his vocal chords. “Are you okay?” He asks with a bit of sleep evident in his voice. “I can leave you be and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

She felt Chan begin to shift. “N-no. Channie, you’re fine.”

He relaxes back into the bed. She nudges her nose into his cheek making Chan’s stomach flip. Her eyelashes kiss his rouged skin. The same butterflies hit him when he had cradled her body the one night she had fallen sick. He never left her side the entire night. Taking a throw blanket and a spare pillow, Chan gave her the space she needed while he slept by her bedside.

He smiled for the first time in two weeks.

Chan felt a small shift in the air. “Do you feel better?” He questions.

She shook her head, scared to make eye contact with those whiskey colored eyes she always got drunk on. “Lighter. This weight isn’t on my chest anymore.”

Chan uses the back of his index finger to trace her jawline. Her eyes flutter shut.

“Y’know I'm an idiot?” Chan states. “Making these decisions without thinking about them entirely. Why do you keep giving me chances?”

Her eyes flicked open. Chan’s eyes already focused on her. She suddenly felt small.

“Hey, look at me, sweet.” He cooes, hooking a finger beneath her chin.

“Channie,”

Chan runs a hand through his curls. “I’m sorry for hiding how I felt. I was afraid, which sounds like a silly excuse. Whatever this bond we have, I love it. Explaining my feelings is where it stopped me.”

She lets her jaw go agape. “You’re a songwriter Channie. All these amazing songs you help produce-”

Chan chuckles, shutting his eyes for a moment letting his ears grow red. “I know,” he draws out. “I feel like a horrible friend. I guess I wanted to perfect the way I wanted to tell you.”

“That night, Minho caught me leaving. He knew instantly what bothered me. I was scared that he was going to hurt you. Chan, he looked so livid.” Her small voice shook, recalling that dark look in Minho’s eyes.

“I hurt you y/n. I deserved to be harassed by Minho.”

She swirls Chan’s hair through her fingers. She loved running her fingers through Chan’s soft waves. Her gaze danced over Chan’s face trying to find an expression. He lay with shut eyes.

She continues on. “But I knew you would come to realize. You needed the space to process your mind. But I am at fault too, for not being upfront about how I feel.”

“Y/n, you shouldn’t have to apologize.” Chan responded. A saddening expression floods over his previous state. “You told me how you feel with me. Remember?”

She frowns. “But I think it wasn’t good enough.”

Chan taps her chest right above her heart. “Your heart was doing the right thing. I was a bad guy in this entire situation. I didn’t want to listen to my heart. I wanted to ignore those feelings due to me being a coward. Don’t apologize, it’s my fault.”

She frowns again, twisting Chan’s heart strings. Chan leans his forehead to touch hers. “Y/n, I want to do this the right way. I adore everything you do. How you smile. Laugh, gosh, even eat!”

He earns a couple giggles from her.

“You being you is just plenty for me. I promise to work on telling you my feelings. But I ask if you would be patient with me. I wanna make you proud.”

Chan sees a light glimmering in her beautiful eyes as she speaks. “I already am proud of you.”

Chan blinked. “How?”

Her hands lay flat on his chest. “By stepping up and wanting to make what’s between us right. I know you were scared. Chan, don’t beat yourself harder than what you need too.”

“I don’t realize until something bad happens.” He admits.

She pats his chest. “I can help you become who you want to be, Channie.”

“I want you to be your boyfriend.”

She grins. “Channie.”

Chan hums in the sweetest tone rubbing their noses together. Time stops again but this time their lips meet.

─ ☘︎*̥˚─── ☘︎*̥˚─

#bang chan #ash’s recs ✧˖°.

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