hydrojenperoxide

[hydrojenperoxide]

“Hey,” Sirius says, very low, for Remus only. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re being a bit dramatic, now.” 

so last chapter of Brave face got me ripping my hair out it's so good it made me wanna grab my tablet again so yeah @zoemillinwrites you're a genius

[hydrojenperoxide]

To Look Like Your Lover - 1/?

Summary: Tom Bennett, a guarded yet cocksure prisoner of war, just wants to get the fuck out of France. Willia Ward, a student at the American University of Paris by day, whore by night, is part of the web of Nazi resisters that work to smuggle allied soldiers to safety. Willia has been assigned to help Tom escape, but Tom has always had trouble taking orders.

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Aunt Gertrude’s voice wavered back to me over the phone all warped and wrong sounding. “You need to leave, Willa," she garbled. "France isn’t safe anymore for girls like you! Come home. Come back to New York where the Germans-” 

It was hard to hear her over the pound of the frantic drums and the squeal of the trumpets in the neighboring mainstage room. It was even harder to imagine her sitting in her stuffy living room on Long Island, surrounded by plump cats and ancient, deflated pillows. New York seemed such a long way away from where I was—Paris. 

Paris. City of love. City of dreams. Paris, where I’d gone to find one and fulfill another. Pais, where I’d failed on both accounts—love and dreams. 

“Girls like me, huh?” I shouted back into the receiver, smiling at the red lacquered wallpaper behind the phone box. “Girls like me are safe everywhere, Aunt G! Nobody wants to hurt a harmless tart. Besides, I’ve only a few months to go until my degree is complete. I can’t just…just come home!”

Feeling eyes on my back, I turned, keeping the phone pressed to my ear. The room in which I stood was dark, lit only by the red, tiny lamps and reflective chandeliers. Glittering men and women were standing about in clumps, clutching their drinks. Couples were dancing beside the dark bar. Naked women were kissing uniformed soldiers on the lounge chairs. Nazi flags fluttered over everything, looming like red rain clouds.  

Full of blood.

“Harmless? Is that what you’re calling yourself these days, Willa?” Aunt G sniffed over the phone. 

Finally, I caught the eyes of the man that had been staring at me. He had a pinched, pale face and watery eyes that were as dark as his suit. When I blinked at him, he blinked back. When I smiled at him, he did not smile. Instead, he touched his left knee with two fingers. 

Thumb and pinkie. 

My skin went cold, despite the heat of the room. I recognized the sign instantly. 

He wants a meeting with me. Not the erotic kind. The other kind.  

“Shit, sorry, the line is breaking up Aunt G,” I invented. “I have…I…oh goodness…I won’t be able to call back today. There it goes…no more connection!” 

Still smirking, I slammed the receiver down and danced away from the phone, towards my observer. I swiveled my hips, parting the dancers like a knife might cut through butter. Nobody looked twice at me. 

I worked at the underground club Le Flamant most nights as a dancer and fille de joie. Indeed, I’d been employed by the place for the past three years. A linguistics degree from the American University of Paris wasn’t going to pay for itself, after all. Still, after a while, the regulars only looked at the new girls, and I was not a shiny new toy anymore. I didn’t mind. The work was simple: look pretty, show up, lie. 

Men liked lies. They liked to hear how handsome they were or how pleasurable their company was, or how big their willies were. And there were always men willing to pay for the pleasure of my lies. Big men, small men, handsome men, ugly men. 

Still, I liked my second job better. 

When I sidled up to the man he looked me up and down. “What are you drinking?” 

He spoke in English with a Meridional French accent. Nasal on the vowels. Which meant he was probably from the south. He also had a pair of false eyeglasses on. I knew they were fake because the lenses didn’t glint in the light. There was no glint because his glasses had no lenses at all. 

Idiot.

“Whiskey on the rocks. On pebbles, preferably. I don’t like my liquor watery,” I cooed, sliding into the seat beside him. As I sat, I touched my pinkie and thumb to my knee, the same way he had. 

The sign of one Nazi resistor to another. 

At last, the gentleman smiled. “Isn’t that a man’s drink?” 

I raised a brow. “Do I look like a man to you?” 

“I suppose not.” 

I heaved an exasperated sigh. “Aw, shucks. Don’t make me blush. Another compliment that good and I may faint.” 

The man laughed humorlessly and looked at his shoes. “I’m sorry, it has just been a while since I’ve been around such a…uh…such a beautiful woman.” 

There was a fine sheen of sweat on his upper lip. A muscle was jumping in his neck and a bit of neatly folded paper was peeking out of his jacket pocket. 

He doesn’t do this often.  

I considered him, estimating him at about thirty years old. Posture of someone who sat behind a desk most days. Nervous enough that this could have been his first assignment from our organization. 

The organization that smuggled allied soldiers out of France.  

Usually, the men that came to give me my assignments from the organization were less sweaty. 

“Oh, I understand,” I purred, reaching out to touch his chin. “Why don’t you order me that whiskey, huh? Then come meet me in room four, just down the hall. That’s my room. I’ll wait for you in there.” 

I dropped my hand and stood, aiming for room four. I didn’t wait to watch the man order and shuffle along after me. I knew he would follow. 

Still, when I shut the bedroom door behind me, I took a deep breath. It wasn’t my room really. Just the room I fucked men in. Still the music was muffled and I was surrounded by my things. My glittery gold costumes, my makeup, my fur coats. All the familiar things that made up this strange, second life of mine—the life where I wasn't bent over old books, studying myself cross-eyed.

I moved to the long mirror propped against the wardrobe and watched the door in the reflection. I tried not to make eye contact with myself. I didn’t like looking at myself when I was all done up. My lips, redded with rogue, looked too big. My eyes, lined with kohl, looked too blue. My straw color hair, pinned to perfection, made me look doll-like and fragile. Even the way I looked was a lie, designed to please. 

To settle my nerves, I reached for the fur coat hanging off the edge of the mirror and groped into the deep pocket. My fingers brushed against cold steel. 

The barrel of my gun. 

When I saw the door knob turning in the mirror, I turned. My companion from the bar stepped inside, and locked the door shut behind him. In each hand was a tumbler full of whiskey. Even though he held out the one with more ice in it to me, I didn’t make a fuss about it. Instead, I gestured to the papers hanging out of his pocket, forgoing the need to flirt, to smile. 

He wasn’t here for all that anyway. 

“Are you blind? The file has been hanging out of your pocket the whole time,” I snapped, taking the whiskey and sipping it. 

Amber and smoke.  

The man paused, brow crinkling. “Moi ? I am not blind.” 

“Good. Because your glasses have no lenses in them either. If you ever get sent out on an assignment again, there is no need to dress up like a cartoon detective. You’re more likely to get caught, looking like that. And if you’re caught, I’m at risk too.” 

The man just blinked at me, nervous and bemused by the shift in my demeanor. Hilariously, he took off his fake glasses and shoved them in his breast pocket, guilty as a schoolboy. 

Taking another sip of my whiskey, I held out a hand. “Forget it. Just tell me what the assignment is.”  

My informer looked insulted for a moment, then he reached into his pocket and thrust the mess of papers at me.

“The boss said it’s your usual run. Take him across the Pyrenees. Deliver the individual to the Spanish border, then come back.”

I palmed the file open. It was a mess of small type, and a black and white photograph of a handsome man with bowed lips, an imposing jawline, and a flush of sepia hair.  He’d angled his chin arrogantly at the camera as if he’d been flirting with whoever had photographed him. He was smirking, but there were dark, joyless shadows beneath his eyes. 

“Is this my man?” I whispered, squinting at the name. “Tom Bennett?” 

“That’s him, alright.” 

“Pretty boy,” I mused, flicking to the second page of his file. “This says he was in the Navy.” 

My informer sipped his drink and shuddered. “Oui . He was a sailor on the Exeter. He fell on the shores of Dunkirk. Bullet through the shoulder. He’s still healing from some sort of infection. He was brought to one of our hospitals. There’s a doctor there that offered him an escape with us. That’s all we know. Apparently, he is the only fellow that agreed to work with us. Must be desperate to get home.” 

“Must be,” I agreed, running my eyes along the text at the bottom of his file. 

Tom H Bennett. P.O.W. English national. Roughly between twenty-four and twenty-six years of age. Currently a patient in American Hospital-Paris. Reports of poor attitude in treatment. Reports of negative interactions with other patients. Reports of attempted aggravated assaults to nurses and doctors. 

I ran my hand over the last sentence. “Sounds like a lovely chap. How much will I make for this run, huh?” 

The man went to take another sip of his drink, then seemed to think better of it. “On your return, you’ll get ten American dollars.” 

I looked up. “Ten? His file says he’s a piece of work! I should at least get twenty.” 

“Ten is all we can promise you.” 

I gaped at the man. 

Ten was not enough. The cost of tuition had risen to four hundred US dollars. Just a few days ago, I’d forwarded the last of my savings, all two hundred and eighty dollars of it, to the college. In return, I’d received a nasty little letter asking where the rest was. The letter also clarified that I’d be put on temporary academic leave until the money came through. 

Ten bucks was not even close to enough. 

Naturally, I couldn’t call Aunt G and beg her to bail me out. Every time I considered doing so, I could hear the echo of the last smug words she’d said to me before I’d boarded the boat from New York to France three years ago: You’ll come crawling back to me on bended knee. You always do. You've always had your Father’s follow-through.

Which, in layman's terms, was none at all. 

But ten dollars was hardly enough for me to make rent, all while retaining a vaguely healthy body weight. Yes, I was paid for my shifts at Le Flamant, but that was hardly more than forty cents a night. And with the war, prices had been rising. Food was expensive, so was coal, bus tickets and… and I was drowning. 

And I needed, more than anything, to finish the damn degree. If only so that I could return home, smack it down in front of Aunt G, and tell her to kiss my foot.

I closed Tom’s file and pressed it back towards the man. “Fine. So, when and where do I get the pleasure of meeting Tom ?”

My informer had the decency to look guilty. “Tonight. After your shift, in the hospital lobby. He’ll be waiting for you.” 

“What does he know about me?” 

“Nothing. He has just been told to wait for someone. You’ll have to make yourself known to him.” 

I sucked my teeth. “Lovely. You know these soldiers always expect a man to come collect them? Half of them don’t want to come with me because they don’t believe a woman could be part of our little operation.” 

The man rolled his eyes, then kept them averted. “I apologize that we could not give you more time to prepare for this assignment. I came as quickly as I could. Do you think you can still manage-”

“This is my job. This is what I’m good at. I think I’ll be fine,” I snapped.  

He turned to leave again, but I reached out and grabbed his sleeve. “You know you’ll have to pay me for our time in this room too. If Madame Claude, my other boss, finds out I took a bloke into my room with nothing to show for it, my pay will be docked...” 

I held out a hand. “So, cough up. S'il vous plaît .” 

***

When my shift ended, it was raining. Not pretty, glittering rain. The rain was ugly and grey and frantic as if it was determined to sweep me off the sidewalk and into The Seine. 

As I walked, I mopped the makeup off my face and kept my head down. Still, my heart was beating hard in my chest. Soaked Nazi flags dripped water onto my head and the leafless trees seemed to shake their fists at me as I passed. The curfew began at nine at night and lifted again at five in the morning—still thirty minutes away. The only people allowed on the streets were the German officers in their grey suits with the red party pins stuck plainly upon their swollen chests. 

They frightened me, those men with their proud guns and invincible belief in their own righteousness. The tanks, the flags, the Wehrmacht’s obsession with gaining more territory within which the Aryan race might expand—all of it frightened me. And fear made me feel weak. Weakness was embarrassing, and embarrassment made me angry. 

Despite the fact that I was clearly not an S.S. officer, none of them really looked my way. Their tanks trundled by. Officers gathered beneath streetlamps to smoke, peeked at me. Some of the men called out to me in slurred German. I only turned my collar up against them and sunk my hands into my pockets. Within my fur coat, I gripped my gun. My heart beat harder.

Just get through this part. Just get through, I urged myself. 

When the American Hospital-Paris loomed into sight, I paused, blinking up at the pale building. The windows were still bright, despite the hour. Medic vans were parked in front of the rain-splashed stairs leading to the large wooden doors, one of which was wide open. Gold light spilled forward, inviting as a department store during Christmas. Only, I suspected that my life was not at risk when entering a department store. Going into a hospital to retrieve a malcontent (and possibly shell-shocked) prisoner of war was another matter. 

I straightened my back, smoothed the worry from my face, and hurried up the steps. 

This is always the worst part, I told myself. Once I have him, I can go home, collect what I need, and get on the road. 

The hospital lobby was warm and stinking of dry gauze. The yellow walls danced with the shadows of the nurses rushing about. Massive white pillars crowded the grand room.

Breathing thinly, I ducked behind the pillar that was closest to the front door and peered around. A doctor walked by, white robe whispering in his wake. A man with his arm in a sling shouted something at an attendant. A black-haired nurse caught my eye and quickly looked away. 

A shiver ran through me. If my heart had been beating hard before, now it was racing. 

“Come on, Tom,” I whispered to myself. “Where are you?”

I checked my watch. When I looked up, a movement caught my eye. A man was walking down the main steps, hands tucked away in his pockets. I recognized him instantly from the photo in his file, even though he wasn’t smirking anymore. 

Tom Bennett. 

His sandy hair flopped across his forehead as he stepped down the stairs. His blue eyes were sharper than they’d looked in the photo—smarter too. He was taller than I’d imagined, broader. There was a scuffed scab beneath his left eye that he hadn’t had in the image. Still, it was unmistakably him.

Tom had a way of walking that was all shoulders. They swung in tandem with each stride of his long legs. 

Cocky. Self-assured. Tricky. I knew the type. 

Briefly, his gaze caught mine. Instead of looking away, I stepped forward, and held out my hand to him, as if we were familiar. Lovers, even. 

Tom blinked, lips parting slightly. I saw a chord in his pale neck twitch. 

He really was pretty.

When Tom approached me, he took my hand, which was a good sign. Sometimes, they didn’t. Those ones were harder to travel with. 

He smelled like strong tea and blood. His hand was warm and dry and rough with old callouses. Strong fingers. Big knuckles. 

I tugged at Tom's hand and looked down at my feet. Together, silently, we stepped forward, straight out the front door. As we descended the front steps, a distant bell began to toll. 

Five in the morning. Curfew had lifted.

It didn’t mean we were safe. Officers were still everywhere. We wouldn’t be safe until we were outside of the city, well into the wild. And even then, safety was more of a state of mind than an actual place. Spies were everywhere. Germans were everywhere. Traitors and rogues and informants were everywhere.  

With my hand in his, I could feel Tom’s pulse beating madly in his wrist. I could see his breath coming out from between his lips in long streams of steam, as if he was breathing deeply.

When he glanced at me, his pert mouth lifted in a half-smirk. I dragged us along the sidewalk and didn’t return the furtive glance.  

“I was expecting a man,” Tom sniggered under his breath. 

He had a rasping, velvety voice that was at odds with his twangy Manchester accent.  

“That's what they all say,” I sighed, glancing over my shoulder. 

A slender shadow shifted behind us. Someone was following us at a distance. My heart dipped down into my stomach.  

“Security in that place is mad. It’s a miracle I only died once,” Tom added, glancing over his shoulder too. “Do you smoke? I’m dying for a fag. Haven't had one for days.” 

I tightened my grip on him and hurried my pace. “I-” 

“Nah, I can already tell," Tom interrupted. "Little thing like you? You don’t smoke. Too posh for that, ain't ya?” 

“Would you just shut up and walk," I grit out, squeezing his hand as hard as I could. "Smile at me. Laugh. It'll look like we're lovers. We'll be less likely to attract attention." 

Tom's half-smirk evolved into a true, shameless smirk. He looked at the false jewels in my hair, my smudged lipstick. “Are you a whore?” 

I'm your only hope of escaping this city alive, I thought sourly. 

I had to try very hard not to glower at him. “Are you, huh?” 

Tom laughed, just like I'd told him to. “I could be. Depends how badly you want me.”

"Nevermind. Let's not talk. Just hold my hand," I grimaced.

Once again, I glanced over my shoulder. The dark shadow was still following us. I could make out the silhouette of his shape. He was tall, dressed in a dark coat and a bowler hat. 

Not good.

"If there's anything else you'd like me to do to look like your lover, ya know, just say," Tom shrugged. 

"Come this way," I muttered, turning suddenly to guide him down a dark, narrow side street. 

As if sensing my fear, Tom glanced over his shoulder. I heard his breath catch. I heard our footsteps echo down the alley. Behind us, the footsteps of our pursuer echoed even more loudly.  

"Has that skinny bloke been trailing us?" Tom breathed, leaning close to my ear.

His hot breath made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. 

"Took you long enough to notice," I hissed back. 

"Christ," Tom swore, hastening his footsteps. "And you're my protector? I should have just died in the fucking hospital." 

"I can bring you back, if you'd like," I snarled, breaking out into a jog. 

Behind us, our shadow gave chase. 

My life had been a string of disappointments and disasters and narrow escapes from one thing or another. But I'd never run for my life holding a stranger's hand.

[hydrojenperoxide]

these are actually hella fucking cute y'all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

6: do you keep plants?

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

12: what's your favorite planet?

13: what's something that made you smile today?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

20: what's your favorite eye color?

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

22: are you a morning person?

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

28: sunrise or sunset?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

33: what's your fave pastry?

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

39: what color do you wear the most?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

59: what's your favorite myth?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

68: what's winter like where you live?

69: what are your favorite board games?

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

73: what are some of your worst habits?

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

75: tell us about your pets!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

82: are/were you good in school?

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

[hydrojenperoxide]

[hydrojenperoxide]

[hydrojenperoxide]

Here have a vine compilation that I made and enjoy I’m not late to the party or anything

[hydrojenperoxide]

ASK ME THINGS

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

7. What does your last received text say?

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

9. Where was your last kiss at?

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

11. What do you drink in the morning?

12. Where did you sleep last night?

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

20. Does anyone like you?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

25. In the past week have you cried?

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

29. Do you think you’re old?

30. Do you like text messaging?

31. What type of day are you having?

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

37. What song are you listening to?

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? 41. When did you last receive a text message? 42. What is wrong with you right now? 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? 44. Does anyone disgust you? 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? 46. Are you in a good mood right now? 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? 48. What color shirt are you wearing? 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? 53. Do you like rain?   54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?   56. Do you like to cuddle? 57. Are you shy?   58. Do you get along with girls? 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?   60. What do you carry with you at all times?   61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?   62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?   63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?   64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?     68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?     69. Do you have any stickers on your car?     70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?     71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?     72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?     73. Do you like diet soda?     74. What color are the walls in your room?     75. Are you 16 or older?     76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?     77. Do you have a job?        78. What are your initials?     79. Did you ever have braces?     80. Are you from the south?    

81. What does your last status on facebook say?     82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?     83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?     85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?     86. Do you smoke?     87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?     88. Is your phone touch screen?     89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?     90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?     91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?     92. Have you ever made out in a car?     93. …Had sex in a car?     94. Are you single or in a relationship?     95. What were you doing last night at midnight?     96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?     97. Do you like the camera on your phone?     98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?     99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?     100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?     101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?     102. Name your favorite Kesha song:     103. Do you have any tan lines right now?     104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

[hydrojenperoxide]

dreamy asks

1. what is your favourite plant?

2. do you believe in aliens?

3. name three artists ( musical or art ) that have inspired you or impacted you.

4. who are your favourite people in the world?

5. talk about your crush or someone you love.

6. what is your favourite dog breed?

7. write a short story or poem about what your favourite season feels like to you.

8. what are your favourite names?

9. do you enjoy reptiles as pets? why or why not?

10. how does art or music make you feel?

11. do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

12. indoor gardens or outside gardens?

13. do you like long hair or short hair?

14. what is your favourite childhood memory?

15. what is the dreamiest/most surreal thing that has ever happened to you?

16. where do you feel time stop?

17. what is your favourite breed of cat?

18. are you pro freckle?

19. what is your favourite thing right now?

20. what is your hidden talent? (example - memory, double joints, etc. )

21. what is the best dream you've ever had?

22. are you a good plant owner?

23. what is your favourite article of clothing?

24. how many languages do you know?

25. what is your dream vacation?

26. do you believe in zodiacs/horoscopes?

27. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

28. who is the most unproblematic person you know?

29. do you know how beautiful you are?

30. what is your favourite feeling?

31. what is your favourite cold drink?

32. what is your favourite hot drink?

33. what has been the highlight of your week?

34. who are your favourite tumblrs?

35. what are your favourite sounds?

36. what is your aesthetic of choice?

37. if you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?

38. do you like anons? why or why not?

39. what is the nicest thing someone has ever said about you?

40. list the top five things you love about yourself or your life.

41. have you ever seen the ocean?

[hydrojenperoxide]

The noises….

[hydrojenperoxide]

There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.

On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!

Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.

It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.

Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.

Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”

The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.

“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”

[hydrojenperoxide]

The Continuous Journey

My final year as a student is quickly coming to an end. Looking back at my past four years I can see how experiences shape you and make you the person you are today. The people you meet, the food you try and the places you visit truly add new dimensions to your life. I was fortunate enough to study abroad for a semester in Maynooth, Ireland and it will be a part of me forever.

I am obviously no expert at this, but as soon as I got back from Ireland I began noticing how my life was changed.  I liked trying new things and wasn’t scared to talk to a stranger. I started noticing how change didn’t bother me anymore. Before studying abroad I cared a lot about what people thought about me but after I returned I realized no one cares! There are seven billion people on this Earth and I am just one.

So what have I learned and why is it important?

To the people that might be scared to leave home or go to a foreign country where you don’t know the language, here is what I have learned about leaving your comfort zone:

1. People are generous.

Wherever I went I felt welcomed. There is this weird stigma with certain countries that when you travel there you will feel unwelcomed or that the people are cold. What I have learned is it’s all about the way you act. If you are open and willing to a new culture then they will meet you half way. Be kind and respectful and they will welcome you with open arms.

2. Try new things!

I am going to be honest, I am super picky when it comes to a lot of things. The only thing I would eat growing up was chicken fingers. So when I decided to travel abroad I questioned what would I eat? I began trying new things and then I began liking these new things and it freaked me out. I realized I was holding myself back. I discovered I liked mushrooms and reindeer?!? So try new things because even if you don’t end up liking that new thing, it makes for a great story.

3. People are people wherever you go.

Every single one of the seven billion people on this earth experiences the same happiness, grief, stress, love, and madness as Americans. We are all human, we are all wired the same.

4. Live in the moment.

There were times when I was abroad that I was too wrapped up in planning the next trip or trying to figure out how we would get from point a to point b and I had to stop myself. You are only given one life and it’s up to you how you spend your time. Now back in America I try to focus on where my feet are not where my mind is.

5. Remember where you come from.

There is always going to be a place to call home. Whether you consider being home by who you’re with or where you live there is always going to be a place to return to.

Just go. Try new things and experience life through culture and food. I guarantee you will enjoy it.

[hydrojenperoxide]

Pssst.

(Stories need to have actual conflict to be interesting.)

(Not just things happening.)

(Things just happening does not equal a plot.)

[hydrojenperoxide]

some good consent phrases

“May I hug you?”

“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”

“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”

“How do you feel about (x activity)?”

“I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m really glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). Thank you.”

“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”

(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”

(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”

“Can I vent a little about (x)?”

“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”

“Are you comfortable talking about it?”

“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”

“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”

“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)

Consent culture - it’s about way more than just sex!

Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.

Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met - remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.

A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and being refused consent is a healthier and safer person.

[hydrojenperoxide]

Send me a color

red: how was your first kiss? what do you love about yourself? when’s the last time you warmed your hands in front of a fire? would you rather watch a sunrise or sunset? what’s the best thing about summer?

orange: what makes you feel warm inside? what’s your favorite halloween tradition? what’s the last thing you learned? when’s the last time you felt obsessed? what’s your favorite article of clothing?

yellow: if you could have any view from your bedroom window what would you choose? what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? what do you consider lucky? what made you smile today? what makes you happy?

green: what’s your favorite thing to do outside? do you like camping? what would you spend $1,000 on? what’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? what’s your favorite article of clothing?

blue: what do you do when you’re sad? what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? what kind of covers do you have on your bed? who is the last person you told a secret to?

purple: what’s your astrological sign? what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? when’s the last time you followed your instincts? what’s your favorite food? what’s your secret dream?

[hydrojenperoxide]

The girl you just called hot? That me

[hydrojenperoxide]

I'll try to give solid answers.

1) Sexuality?

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

4) What do you think about most?

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

7) What's your strangest talent?

8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

13) What's your religion?

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

17) What was the last lie you told?

18) Do you believe in karma?

19) What does your URL mean?

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

23) How do you vent your anger?

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

28) What's your biggest "what if"?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

36) Define Art.

37) Do you believe in luck?

38) What's the weather like right now?

39) What time is it?

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

41) What was the last book you read?

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

43) Do you have any nicknames?

44) What was the last movie you saw?

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

48) What's your sexual orientation?

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

50) Do you believe in magic?

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

52) What is your astrological sign?

53) Do you save money or spend it?

54) What's the last thing you purchased?

55) Love or lust?

56) In a relationship?

57) How many relationships have you had?

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

59) Where were you yesterday?

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

62) What's your favorite animal?

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

64) Where is your best friend?

65) Spit or swallow?(;

66) What is your heritage?

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

68) What do you think is Satan's last name?

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

77) How can I win your heart?

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

80) What size shoes do you wear?

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

82) What is your favorite word?

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

85) What's the last song you listened to?

86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

87) What is your current desktop picture?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

98) Ever been on a plane?

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?