hyperfixating-and-queer

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

From a state hearing in Texas

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

dead serious WHAT did they put into claire de lune to make it do all that

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

i love illegal immigration like yes bitch get in here

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

no words, just the all for the game tattoo that i got and am obsessed with

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

i’ve been talking to someone and found out that they’re a steve and nancy shipper and idk if i can do it

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

they’re so busy screaming ‘but what if that fetus becomes the doctor to cure cancer’ that they miss what right in this fucking country already

MAGA racism is killing us.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

Actually I wanna be someone’s comfort person. their go to. their favorite. the person they wanna grow with and heal with.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

little bit of advice for you if the next to normal west end production completely obliterated you emotionally— DO NOT look up a bootleg of the 2014 broadway revival of Les Misérables and DO NOT listen to Caissie Levy perform Fantine's death (don't make the same mistake as me)

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

''take your meds'' said the people in the fridge

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

everyones talking about gabe in i am the one reprise but DAN... the lyrics literally being

"you don't know,

i am the one who held you,

i am the one who cried,

i am the one who watched while you died,

i am the one who loved you

i tried pretending that i don't give a damn..."

hit so much harder when you remember its DAN. gabe singing in that section is metaphorical. but this is word for word just a confession from dan. like oh my godd thats his baby too 😭 he WATCHED WHILE HE DIED but he LOVED him SO MUCH and it breaks my heart 😭😭 he was young too. he couldn't save his son. and he's been pretending for seventeen years that it doesn't affect him. and even then after all of this time he still never touches him, he pushes him away and down again for his daughter, because she IS here and he will never be again. its just the two of us now.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

i know i’m fully brainrotted because everytime i hear diana ask henry ‘how old are you’ and he says ‘17’ my brain instantly supplies ‘how long have you been 17’ i am nothing but different pieces of media stacked together wearing a trench coat

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

| That day that I lost you...

“That day I lost you.” Diana looks up at the sky, because that’s where Gabe is. But Dan looks at Diana — because that’s the day he lost her. That’s where their hearts are now. Hers, with their son. His, still with her.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

Don't look if you've yet to watch Next to Normal

Thinking about Gabe joining Dan on the floor to clean up... at first I was thinking it's strange that he seems so sad, isn't that what he wanted? But I'm realizing... Diana isn't there. It's just Dan. That is *Dan's* Gabe. Dans grief. He's still not fully acknowledging it, not yet. But he's cleaning up Diana's blood and looking at Gabe's baby things.... and so Gabe is there.

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

"It's just me and you for now." "... Yeah ..."

[hyperfixating-and-queer]

someone put my thoughts into words finallyyyy

Gabriel in Next to Normal is not a parasitic demon! He is not deliberately malicious for everyone! He is grief manifest!! He is present in each character’s life, and how he interacts with them is representative of how they handle their grief, but he is not a single sentient character. When he latches onto Dan at the end, that’s not Dan ~becoming like Diana~ because ~a parasite needs a host~ or whatever, because acknowledging Gabe’s presence is something he NEEDED to do! Diana was unable to let go of her grief for years, and it destroyed her relationships and mental health. She had to let go of Gabe. Dan, however, repressed his grief, and let it fester for years. Finally acknowledging his son’s existence is the first step towards healing for Dan, the same way leaving was for Diana