i-am-a-meat-popcicle
i-am-a-meat-popcicle
What was I doing again?
8K posts
Hello. My name is Kris. I'm older than 25 and I don't feel like constantly updating my age here every year so that's as much as you get to know. I am an easily entertained individual that writes fanfic [in theory] and obsesses over minor details in videogames. 
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 1 hour ago
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i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking
what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp
like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have
like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious
now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 
and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 
and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker
and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 
so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?
this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 1 hour ago
Text
i was playing pokemon blue on stream earlier at 350% speed and i got to thinking
what if the reason nobody in the pokemon world has any good teams is because its considered a dick move to have a proper team comp
like culturally everyone is like “haha pick the pokemon you want! if you’re happy with three geodudes, thats you and your life!” and then you’re supposed to just have a friendly battle with any other pokemon trainers and whatever pokemon they just happen to have
like the average trainer is probably just walking around with a growlithe because that’s their pet, or a hiker has three geodudes because the geodudes help him with hiking. and if this pet owner and geodude hiker meet, you’re supposed to have a friendly battle but nothing too serious
now imagine the 10 year old kid that has six pokeballs on their belt comes up. you’re like “haha, we’ll have a friendly battle!” and you throw out your geodude 
and they throw out a fucking gyarados, and it one-shots your geodude 
and then you throw out your pidgey you have because the pidgey helps you navigate mountains because you’re a hiker
and then electricity crackles around the gyarados and a thunderbolt flies off of this giant dragon and evaporates your pidgey 
so you’re down to your last pokemon. you tell them you’re gonna send out your bulbasaur. the ten year old is like “oh okay in that case i’m gonna pull out my vulpix.” like not only is this kid walking around with an amped-up super dragon, but theyve also got multiple pokemon specifically for making type advantage counter-picks?
this kid’s a fucking asshole! really, kid? what are you trying to prove here? this is a friendly match between strangers for fun! why are you composing real-ass competitive teams? what a fucker! 
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 1 hour ago
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Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die
*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 hours ago
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IT FUCKIN YURI DAAAAAAAAAAAY
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 hours ago
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Finally figured out how to permanently disable google assistant on phone
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 18 hours ago
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copyrighting neon dream as we speak
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 18 hours ago
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 18 hours ago
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I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 19 hours ago
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hi welcome to LA! come with me i wanna show you all the oil drilling sites that are disguised as office/government buildings ^_^
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 20 hours ago
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 1 day ago
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“paid subscription with ads” is fucking crazy. if you pay for a service and then get served an ad on said service you should be allowed to pipe bomb its executive at no legal risk
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 1 day ago
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A little opabinia mermaid for MerMay! She has five eyes and zero brains.
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 days ago
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so true
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 days ago
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I'm keeping an eye out for heat stroke in my area and I can't figure out what a full body flush would look like on dark skin since all the pictures are just fake training pictures. Anyone have video/pics of a heat stroke flush on black skin?
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 days ago
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knowledge long forgotten
got really into reading item descriptions on this playthrough. anyway did you know the silent princess is one of the only raw materials with a cooking effect to not explicitly list that effect in its description
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 days ago
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awesome
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i-am-a-meat-popcicle · 2 days ago
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making Hina romanceable was a diabolical move
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