i-messed-up-big-time

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Caffeine, chemistry and Caleb XI

Synopsis: The café was supposed to be just another coffee shop. For a law student who enjoys her morning coffee and a shy newbie still learning the ropes, it should have been nothing more than part of the daily routine… But then there’s Caleb.

Details: 2600 words. Non-MC!Reader as the law student. So. The movies. What’s gonna happen? Who knows. But it features: Newbie texting in full chaos mode, Caleb being a certified menace-level flirt, and a little surprise thrown in for good measure. Just fluff, just vibes—with a sprinkle of smoool angst, obviously. Because honestly, who wants to be in lawyer girl’s position?

Parts: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10

Tags: @gavin3469 @unstablemiss @i-messed-up-big-time @mipov101 @zukini-01 @ariakamil @zaynessdarling @gojosballsack69 @moon-cakei

Scared little sandwich | Pt. 11

You walk.

Because that’s all you can do.

The floor hums faintly beneath your sneakers, sticky in places from years of spilled soda and adolescent heartbreak. The lighting overhead is soft, a little dimmer than it needs to be, catching on the silver chain at your collarbone with every step.

Your eyes flick between Caleb—still leaned against the wall, still watching with that unreadable kind of focus like he’s waiting for you to make the next move—and the girl beside him. Apple Girl. Still talking. Still smiling like this is just a casual night out and not whatever…this is.

Your hand fumbles into your pocket like it’s acting on instinct, already fishing out your phone with the urgency of someone defusing a bomb. Because the newbie has to know that this is not a date, it’s a beautifully lit social crisis.

A thousand possible exit routes flare in your brain like courtroom objections. Just turn around. Just say you forgot something. Just fake appendicitis. Just—

Bang.

The restroom door swings open hard and fast—right into your shoulder.

You stumble back with a yelp, nearly dropping your phone.

“Shit—oh my god, sorry,” says the guy behind it, immediately reaching out to steady you. His hand catches your elbow, warm and solid. “Didn’t see you there—shit, you okay?”

You look up.

And up.

Leather jacket. Broad shoulders. Familiar smile.

You blink.

And then it hits you.

Photos. Memes. The chaotic group texts. The guy who dared Caleb to chug a cold brew—and then puked after doing ten pushups to prove it wouldn’t mess him up, too.

Gideon.

It’s Gideon.

“Oh,” he says, smile widening. “You’re Golden Girl, right?”

You nod before you even register doing it, still gripping the doorframe like it might stop you from blacking out on the spot. “Yeah. I—uh—hi.”

He extends a hand like you’ve been in the same friend group for years. “I’m Gideon.”

Of course you are. Of course he is.

And just like that, your hand is already in his. Before you can recover, a voice breezes in beside you, cheerful and citrusy.

“She’s here!”

Apple Girl twirls slightly, drink in one hand, the other already extended like she’s been waiting all week to meet you.

“Hi! I’m—”

“Apple Girl,” you say automatically.

She blinks, then breaks into a bright laugh. “Right. That works.” And because this night refuses to stop escalating, she pulls you into a quick hug. Like it’s natural. Like it’s normal.

“I’ve heard so much about you.”

Possibly the worst sentence in the English language.

You don’t say anything in response. Don’t move. But inside? Inside you want to spin on your heel, point at Caleb like a prosecuting attorney and demand answers. What was the plan here, exactly? What was going through that smug, violet-eyed head of his? You want to put him on the stand. Grill him until he sweats. Ask what the hell he was thinking. Ask why you ever thought—for even one second—that trusting him wouldn’t completely rearrange your emotional architecture.

You want to go home. Crawl under a blanket. Cry. Maybe sue him.

But instead—

Caleb’s still standing nearby, quiet and unreadable, hands in his pockets, eyes on you. And when the hug ends, he pulls one hand from his pocket. Holds something up between two fingers.

A crinkly bag. Sour Patch Kids.

“Promise kept,” he says.

You’re still trying to figure out what to do with that when Gideon pipes up from behind the group:

“So what are we seeing again? Or is this one of Caleb’s ‘trust the vibes’ operations?”

Caleb’s grin cuts sideways toward you. “Didn’t want to scare anyone off.”

Apple Girl—still standing very, very close—laughs lightly, fingers brushing Caleb’s arm like she’s done it a hundred times. “He likes to surprise people. It’s kind of his thing.”

Arms crossed, you mutter, “Cool. Can’t wait to be dismembered emotionally and cinematically.” It comes out too smooth, too fast, and only once it’s hanging in the air do you realize: oh. That was out loud.

Apple Girl leans in slightly, still smiling like this is all perfectly casual. “Don’t worry. Caleb gives the best huggies when people get scared.”

Caleb tilts his head, looking at you. “Only if requested.”

Gideon snorts. “That’s true. Human furnace over there. Comes with unsolicited life advice and everything.”

Caleb elbows him—light, practiced. “Bold talk, considering you needed that hug after crying during the dog commercial last month.”

“That dog was brave,” Gideon mutters.

Processing the awkward tension? Not an option. Apple Girl’s already tugging on Caleb’s sleeve like she’s done it a hundred times. “Come on,” she grins. “They’re starting trailers.”

Gideon’s already turning. Apple Girl’s tugging. And you—

You’re still standing in the middle of the theater lobby, air thick with popcorn butter and confusion, staring at a boy who kissed you and then brought two other people to your not-a-date date.

This is either the most chaotic, unannounced double date known to man… or just four friends hanging out. And somehow, you can’t even begin to decide which is worse.

You follow them in, because what else can you do?

And that’s when you realize:

You still have to survive the next 120 minutes.

——————————————————————————

The theater is dim and cavernous, cold enough to raise goosebumps on your arms. Colors flash across the screen in quick cuts. You trail behind the others down the aisle, heart stuttering as they slide into seats.

Gideon.

Apple Girl.

Caleb.

And then… you.

Caleb turns slightly in his seat as you slide in next to him. “Don’t be scared,” he says, too close to your ear. “I’ll cover your eyes if it gets too terrifying. Like if there’s a serious lack of plot.”

You hum. “Terrifying is sitting in row seven of a date that came with a guest list.”

His grin widens, like he’s about to volley back—

But Apple Girl tugs lightly on his sleeve, asking something about the trailers. A director’s name. A past role. You don’t know. You’re too busy biting the inside of your cheek, trying not to scream into the void.

And then—because of course—the worst thing happens:

He shifts.

Smooth. Barely noticeable. Unless you’re the person whose leg suddenly has company.

You pull back, just slightly.

He doesn’t.

If anything, Caleb settles deeper into his seat, widening his stance like he has all the room in the world. And his knee brushes yours once again.

Your heart does a full gymnastics routine. Objection. Objection. O.B.J.E.C.T.I.O.N.

The lights dim.

The trailers start.

You: abort mission. it’s a friend hang out. help.

The screen glows too bright in the dark, lighting your face like a confession booth. You hunch lower into your seat, thumbs flying.

You: apple girl hugged me. gideon called me golden girl. I am going to pass away in this seat.

Newbie: ok wow. you’re inside a horror movie before the movie starts. you are LIVING THE GENRE. do not die before the popcorn.

You: he’s in the middle. like literally between me and apple girl. is this a sandwich?? is he the filling???

Newbie: i’m going to sue him recreationally.

You: i think i just agreed to a throuple by sitting down.

Newbie: ok but you’d be the main character in the throuple.

You glare at your phone. You are not laughing. You are spiraling. There is a difference.

You: what if i just… stand up. walk out.

Newbie: i’ll text you a distraction cue. tell me when.

You: i hate that you could probably actually pull that off.

Newbie: it would involve fire. but i’ve got the matches.

As if summoned—of course—a familiar rustle brushes over your screen. You glance up.

A bag of Sour Patch Kids is dangling directly in front of your phone. Caleb’s hand. A nudge, gentle. Just the bag, offered like a peace treaty.

You shake your head slightly, trying to finish typing.

You: i’m ignoring him.

Newbie: no you’re not.

You: shut up.

You peek up.

Caleb is still holding the bag, resting his elbow on the armrest like he has all the time in the world. His eyes flick to you.

One eyebrow lifts.

Challenge.

Fine.

A few candies are snatched and pocketed like survival gear and send off the last message.

You: if i survive this i’m never trusting another barista again.

Newbie: but would you kiss him again.

Caleb shifts beside you. Didn’t even notice he’d leaned in until his breath brushed your cheek—and then—

“Pretty sure lighting up an entire row with your phone is, like… illegal,” he whispers, lips barely grazing your ear.

You freeze. Feel your heartbeat trip into something off-rhythm. Your laugh gets caught halfway up your throat. You glance at him—he’s grinning. Very proud.

You want to cry. Or crawl into the popcorn machine. Or kiss him again, which might be worse.

The movie starts.

And your dignity ends.

You shove your phone into your pocket—right on top of the handful of Sour Patch Kids. They squish immediately, sugar and regret forming an unholy alliance. Future you is going to hate that.

Then you cross your arms. Lean back.

Try to look neutral. Try not to think.

Fail immediately.

Forty seconds in, someone on screen is already being creatively dismembered. You make a noise that might qualify as a prayer.

Caleb leans again. This time it’s a laugh, warm and close.

“You sure you’re a tough one?” he murmurs.

You shrug. Barely. Your neck is too stiff to move like a person.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Newbie: ok hear me out. i call your phone pretending to be your RA. say there’s a plumbing leak in your apartment. you cry. you run. no one questions it.

Newbie: other plan: i get someone to call the theater and say your childhood cat has been found. the one that ran away in third grade. emotional damage = airtight exit.

You: stop. that cat was the love of my life.

Newbie: you posted about him on your story last month. little guy had a bowtie. i was emotionally invested.

You snort—too loud—and immediately hunch down in your seat like that’ll make the screen glow from your phone less obvious.

Newbie: you cry on cue. whisper “mittens?” and make a run for it. it’s foolproof.

You’re halfway through imagining the scene—the shocked gasp, the whisper-shout “my cat’s alive?”, the emotional dash for the exit—

When Caleb nudges your elbow.

You glance up.

He’s already halfway out of his seat, moving past your knees with a quiet “Restroom. Be right back.”

You nod, heart thudding.

He walks a few steps up the aisle.

Then turns back.

Points.

And mouths:

Come.

——————————————————————————

You give it a think.

A good twenty seconds of sitting in the dark like a normal, well-adjusted human being.

You give it another twenty seconds.

And then, because you’re not a normal, well-adjusted human being—but rather a hormone soup in sneakers with a law degree in progress and a barista problem—you lean forward. Over Caleb’s empty seat. Toward Apple Girl.

You tap her shoulder. Try not to make a face about it.

“I’ve gotta—uh… toilet,” you whisper, gesturing vaguely.

She nods, smiles, and turns right back to the screen, already half-hiding her face in Gideon’s shoulder. He shifts to accommodate her like it’s second nature. Like he’s done this before.

You stand. Walk.

Up the aisle. Up. Up.

Until the murmur of the film and the wet crunch of popcorn fade into hallway silence.

The corridor’s empty now. All the theaters filled, all the energy pulled inward. The outside hush feels sacred somehow—too still for what’s happening inside your chest.

And there he is.

Leaning against the wall outside the screening room, one foot propped up, head tilted back like he’s inspecting the ceiling for moral guidance. Or modeling for a poster called Handsome: A Study in Contradictions.

Your breath catches. Hard.

He hears it—of course he does—and looks down, violet eyes catching yours like a net. And his whole face lights up.

“You came,” he says, pushing off the wall and walking toward you like he wasn’t the one who summoned you.

You try not to combust. “Honestly? I was about to fake a phone call and bolt. So thanks for the assist.”

He grins. “You were gonna ditch me? After I brought you candy?”

You roll your eyes, already regretting everything about your existence.

Then he adds, completely straight-faced:

“Was the hallway always this gorgeous, or did you just walk into it?”

You actually choke. “Caleb.”

“What?”

“That was corny enough to get you arrested.”

“I like to think it’s part of my charm.”

“Charm should be regulated.”

Caleb steps in a little closer, one brow arched like he’s waiting for the citation. “You look good.”

You breathe through it. The jacket. The shirt. The necklace against your chest—cool against skin that feels anything but. You’re wearing pieces of him and trying not to short-circuit.

“Thanks,” you say, as steadily as possible. “So does your… friend date.”

That pulls him up short—not offended, just thoughtful.

“She is my friend,” he says. “So is Gideon. We had plans—me and them—and I thought… I don’t know. I wanted you to be part of it too.”

“Oh,” you say. Quiet. Not bitter, just… small.

“But yeah,” he adds, slower now. “I should’ve said something. I didn’t think it’d feel weird, but… it does. You okay?”

You nod. Not because it’s entirely true. But because he’s asking.

His gaze dips. “Sour Patch contraband?” he asks, stepping even closer. And before you can stop him, his hand is already in your pocket. His actual hand. In your actual jacket. Warm fingers brushing yours as he blindly fishes for a candy like this is completely normal.

You freeze, every nerve ending on high alert. His knuckles graze the edge of your palm. He finds a candy, plucks it out, slow and triumphant.

“Didn’t peg you for someone who’d ration,” he says, biting into a blue one like he’s auditioning for a very specific kind of commercial. “Best flavor,” he adds around it, smug—then, still chewing, tips his head a little closer.

“Mmf—wanna half?” he offers mid-bite, voice garbled, mouth still full like he only half-thought it through.

And before you can even react—before your brain can register if this is a kiss setup or just him being the human embodiment of a heart attack—he’s already finished the damn thing. Swallowed it. Smiling.

“You were texting the newbie, right?”

You blink. “What?”

His grin tilts a little softer. “Heh. Kinda figured. You always text fast when you’re spiraling.”

Cheeks flare, heat rising fast, but he doesn’t let the moment stretch too long. Doesn’t press. Just stands there like a break in the storm. Then, quieter:

“Don’t go. Just stay, okay?”

And there it is. No teasing this time. No grin. Just that flicker of honesty that makes your ribs ache.

You nod once.

And he exhales—relieved.

A second passes. Then another.

And then—without asking—he steps closer.

Fingers brushing the fabric at your collarbone, Caleb gently tugs the chain out from where it hides under your shirt. The charm catches the light between you, cool silver against his warm fingers.

He glances at it. Then at you.

“Nice necklace,” he says, tucking it gently over your shirt. “You should show it off.”

Simple. Soft. Almost offhand. But his fingers linger just a beat too long. Then he sets it down carefully—right at the center of your chest, on top of the shirt where it’s visible now. Where it stays.

Your breath hitches—too obvious, too fast.

And when he steps back, he gives you the tiniest smile, and says, “Come on. Movie’s probably killed three people already.”

You hesitate. “It’ll look weird if we walk in together.”

He backs toward the door, already pushing it open. “Don’t care.”

It shouldn’t make your stomach drop like that.

But it does.

You hustle in after him, and your seats—of course—are still in perfect decapitation-viewing alignment. You slide in, settle. Caleb takes his seat next to you like nothing happened. Like you weren’t just unraveling in a hallway over his fingers touching yours.

The screen flashes.

Apple Girl jumps—literally screams—at the sudden jolt of sound, burying her face in Caleb’s shoulder. He pats her back. Comforting. Familiar.

Your stomach flips.

This. This is his idea of a sandwich.

You on one side. Her on the other. Emotional garnish optional.

Nope.

You straighten.

Put on your courtroom face.

Sink lower into your seat like you’re entirely unbothered by the murder montage flashing across the screen. Every time you flinch, you do it with lawyer-level restraint. No gasps. No jumps. Just tight jaw and narrowed eyes. You’re so composed it’s almost insulting.

Because Caleb may be smug and sweet and dangerously good at whispering in your ear,

But he is not getting a scared little horror sandwich tonight.

No way.

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: Heeeere it is! I hope you had as much fun reading this chapter as I had writing it. I’m still having an absolute blast with this series—thank you so much for sticking with it. Sorry for the slight pause between updates; life got a bit in the way. But hang tight—more chaos, kisses, and courtroom-worthy emotional damage are on the way. I’m already deep into the next chapters!

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Caffeine, chemistry and Caleb X

Synopsis: The café was supposed to be just another coffee shop. For a law student who enjoys her morning coffee and a shy newbie still learning the ropes, it should have been nothing more than part of the daily routine… But then there’s Caleb.

Details: 1700ish words of vibes, flirty chaos, and newbie x law student energy. Non-MC reader (the law student) v. Caleb: flirty, smooth, and way too much. It’s short, soft, smool angst and the perfect setup for the next chapter (in my humble opinion lol)

Parts: Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9

Tags: @gavin3469 @unstablemiss @i-messed-up-big-time @mipov101 @zukini-01 @ariakamil @zaynessdarling @gojosballsack69 @moon-cakei

This Could Be Normal | pt. 10

You don’t remember saying goodbye.

You remember the kiss. His hands. The way he fastened the necklace around your neck. And then—

“I’ll text you later,” he’d said, voice a little too casual for someone who just restructured your entire DNA.

You’d nodded. Too fast. Too soft.

And then stood there, blushing and dazed, watching him walk down the street like it was just another night. Except—halfway down the block, he glanced back over his shoulder. Caught your eyes. Smiled. And that’s when your brain officially left the building.

You’re still standing there, probably glowing like a human traffic cone. You can’t even move. Until—

A figure appears in the café doorway, arms crossed, teeth digging into a very unfortunate tongue piercing.

The newbie.

You blink. Lift a hand.

And point, wordlessly, to the necklace.

Their expression morphs instantly—shock, rage, something near divine exasperation. One hand shoots into the air like they’re directing traffic, the other waving you back toward the café like they’re flagging an emergency landing.

You follow on autopilot, the door swinging shut behind you with a chime that feels too bright for your current emotional state. The newbie barely waits until it clicks closed before whirling around.

“You criminally unstable genius,” they hiss. “You kissed him!”

The nearest barstool catches you as you slump into it, breathless. “Technically,” you mumble, “he kissed me. Twice.”

They make a sound that could shatter glass. “And the necklace?”

You glance down, tug the chain out just enough to let it glint.

“He gave it to me.”

Their eyes go wide. “You’re wearing his soul,” they whisper. “On a chain.”

With a defeated sigh, you let your forehead thunk against the counter, braid sliding over your shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

There’s a beat of silence as you exhale into the polished surface, the scent of espresso clinging to the wood and your shame.

You feel more than see them move behind the bar. Hear the soft clatter of cups being stacked, the wipe of cloth across surfaces. It’s second nature now—how the café winds down for the night. You’ve witnessed it enough to know when to fall into the rhythm.

The stool creaks quietly beneath you as you slide off, snagging a rag like you’ve done this a hundred times. Without asking, you start wiping down the far counter. It doesn’t even feel like a decision. You just… belong in the motion now.

“Okay,” the newbie says eventually, voice more level as they toss you a clean towel. A loose strand of pastel pink clings to their forehead. “We need a plan.”

“What kind of plan?”

“Post-kiss containment strategy. You kissed, you exchanged jewelry—which is vague and hot and deeply reckless—so now what?”

You open your mouth to answer—truly, you are—

Ping.

Both your heads snap toward the table where you’d sat earlier—where your phone just lit up with a soft ping. You rush over, grab it, and lay it down on the counter.

Dumb Barista: You wanna go to the movies tomorrow? :3 I promise not to comment on the trailers out loud (much)

You stare at the message like it might detonate, fingers hovering. The newbie leans in, shoulder brushing yours, reading with the focus of someone summoned as co-counsel in your emotional deposition.

“Movies?” they whisper. “Movies?! The worst possible date? You can’t even talk! What does it mean?”

You slump against the counter, shoulders sagging. “He wants to see me… but not talk to me?”

The newbie squints, biting down gently on their piercing. “Maybe he’s scared if you do talk, you’ll ruin it. Or he’ll ruin it.”

You groan. “Or it’s a soft launch. Or a decoy. Or I’m the decoy. Oh no… What if I’m the decoy?”

A gentle pat lands on your arm, more obligation than comfort. “You’re the main character. You don’t get to be the decoy.”

Another deep breath. You reach for the phone, fingers brushing the screen, and look at the message.

Tomorrow. A movie. A date.

Your thumb hovers.

Then, with the same impulse that made you kiss him back, you type:

You: Sure. I’ll bring my best courtroom whisper.

Dumb Barista: Good. I’ll bring snacks with questionable volume levels. I like sour things. Prepare for chaos. Sour Patch Kids, sour straws, sour popcorn if they let me get weird.

You snort at your phone, flicking the lock button to stop yourself from smiling too hard.

From the register, the newbie glances over, eyebrows already raised beneath soft sways. They’re reorganizing the cash drawer with exacting judgment.

“Soooo,” they say, casually, “is this, like… actually a date or just a high-stakes snack negotiation?”

The broom is in your hands before you even realize you’ve moved. Because of course it is. “I think it’s just a loophole. A casual one.”

They scoff. “A casual loophole that includes you panic-picking outfits and adjusting your necklace every five minutes?”

You glare. They smirk, victorious.

Then, more softly: “You should text him again. Ask what kind of movie it is.”

You hesitate. Then do it.

You: Is this like… action? Drama? Something light?

Dumb Barista: Surprise :3 But if I told you, you might not show.(Just say you’re brave.)

Your thumb moves faster now.

You: Caleb. Is this horror. Be honest. I will sue.

A beat.

Dumb Barista: Correct. Still up for it? Or do I have to promise you’ll have a hand to grab?

Your cheeks go nuclear.

The newbie appears beside you out of nowhere, hovering like a drama gremlin with their bangs still half-in-their-eyes and a dish towel tossed over one shoulder.

“Horror?” they gasp. “… He’s either testing your devotion or trying to initiate a full-body cuddle.”

You groan into the rag. “I hate horror. I want plot. Depth. Emotional stakes.”

“You want to suffer romantically,” the newbie corrects. “Not scream while someone gets chased by a guy with a chainsaw.” A beat passes. Their tongue piercing catches the light again as they flick it with practiced ease. “Although, to be fair, you’ve already been suffering romantically. Might as well throw in some fake blood and dramatic lighting to round it out.”

You make a noise somewhere between a laugh and a wheeze. “Wow. Just—no mercy.”

They shrug. “Hey. If the emotional damage fits.”

The rag squeaks under your hand as you wipe harder, eyes rolling. “I liked it better when you were silently judging me from the espresso machine.”

“Too bad,” they say, reaching for the mop. “You let a barista put jewelry on you. We’re past subtle now.”

They glance over one shoulder, lips twitching. “Still going?”

You lock your phone and tuck it into your back pocket like it’s radioactive. “Apparently I like to suffer in layers.”

——————————————————————————

So yeah.

Your closet now exists primarily on your bed, your desk chair, and one very unfortunate floor lamp. Nothing’s on a hanger anymore. Everything you own has been tried on, rejected, re-evaluated, then discarded in a heap of “maybe” and “this makes me look like I cry in bookstores.”

You can’t even think about cleaning it up. The meetup time is dangerously close. One more outfit crisis and you’re seriously considering texting Caleb that you’ve developed a sudden, mysterious fever. Just something vague and dramatic enough to bow out gracefully. Which, knowing your luck, would only make him show up to check on you. And then he’d see the state of your apartment and probably have the audacity to look both concerned and smug while offering to fold the aftermath of your fashion crisis.

So instead, you make yourself stop. Breathe. And pull on the cool jeans, the slightly-too-nice sneakers, and an oversized vintage tee that says I know movies and feelings, even though the last movie you saw in a theater ended with someone sobbing into popcorn. (It was you)

The charm sits warm against your chest, tucked just beneath the cotton of your shirt. A glint of silver dips at the neckline—barely visible, easily mistaken. It could be anything.

You tell yourself that twice.

You: leaving now. fit check incoming.

You snap a pic outside your apartment building—lighting half-decent, outfit working overtime to say “effortless” when it absolutely took seven outfit changes and one minor breakdown.

Seconds later:

Dumb Barista: oh no I’m gonna get out-hot’d on a weeknight… golden girl, this is a threat to national barista security

Dumb Barista: …you look really good

You grin so hard it makes your ears warm.

You: this movie better be life-changing. I skipped two hours of outlining for this.

Dumb Barista: I’m almost there. popcorn negotiations start in five.

Another ping follows—

A selfie. The angle’s a little off—half jaw, half crooked grin—like he snapped it mid-step without trying too hard. His hair’s wind-tossed, the collar of his jacket popped slightly, and behind him, just out of focus, there’s a blur of someone—maybe a shoulder, maybe a laugh.

A second message pops up right after.

Dumb Barista: don’t be scared. i’ll protect you from the ghosts. unless they ask nicely :3

You stare at the screen, grinning way too hard for someone about to voluntarily walk into cinematic trauma. Because this—this feels normal. Ridiculously so. Like he’s texting you because he wants to. Like maybe, for once, the universe isn’t trying to humble you every five minutes.

And maybe—just maybe—it won’t take it back.

You walk the last few blocks with your phone still warm in your hand, wind tugging at the hem of your tee. The streets are quieter here, blinking theater marquee in the distance, your breath fogging slightly in the early evening air. You reopen the messages. Reread the part about the ghosts. Try not to smile again. Fail.

Every step gets you closer, and for a second it almost feels like you’re heading into something simple. A movie. A maybe-date. A night that doesn’t end in emotional sabotage.

A few blocks later, the theater glows ahead—and you push through the doors like it’s just another night.

It’s dim and busy and smells like childhood and butter and something warm you can’t quite name. You scan for him.

And you see him immediately.

Standing just to the left of the ticket kiosk, hands in his jacket pockets, shoulder resting against the wall like he invented casual—

And beside him?

Apple. Girl. Apple girl.

She’s laughing.

Soft and easy, with a drink in one hand and her phone in the other. She nudges him with her elbow. He smiles back—calm. Collected. Almost rehearsed.

And then his gaze flicks your way.

He sees you.

And he doesn’t flinch.

Doesn’t startle.

Doesn’t even look surprised.

He just lifts his hand.

And waves you over.

Like this was part of the plan.

Like he’s been waiting.

Like this is completely normal.

Like you weren’t just mentally rehearsing your escape. Imagining yourself pivoting, walking straight out the door, pretending you forgot your ID or spontaneously developed a popcorn allergy.

So you breathe. You step forward.

And try not to look like you’ve just survived a jump scare.

Again.

——————————————————————————

Part 11 tbc

——————————————————————————

Writers note: And here we are! I cannot waaaait to drop the next chapter—it’s going to be a longer one. I figured walking into the movies was the perfect moment to cut things off with a nice little cliffhanger. Sorry not sorry, dear reader. Hehe. Hope you’re doing well and having a lovely day! Also… seriously, what’s wrooooong with this guy? lolol. Give me a heads up if the links are weird, I’ve tried to purge my masterlist of faulty URLs after my username change heeh. Okey then, thank you for reading 🫶🏻🍿

[i-messed-up-big-time]

I'm sorry 😭 I got yall mixed up. Thank you for answering the question! 🙏🏻

That's totally ok! Your question had me thinking and I think I'll be doing an alternate ending for Caleb's part in the Lonely Birthday Series! So stay tuned as I'll probably release it after I finish part 3 for Someone Precious.

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Someone Precious II

Caleb x Non MC Reader

a/n: seeing all of you guys really like the first part defo made me feel all warm and giggly! so thank you for all of your lovely comments! also i am not well versed in the realm of medicine/hospitals and stuff so please bear with me as i write the scenes dealing with those, i most likely will briefly touch on those and not go into too much detail. also i finally got a desk and a monitor so now i can do all my writing in comfort rather than hunched over on my bed! Also this part doesn't really have much Caleb unless you include reader thinking about him. another side note, this part will be short but i will write more for the other parts, i just needed this one to be on its own focusing on the pregnancy a bit so that in the other parts i can focus on the relationships with MC, Caleb etc.

also i dont think i mentioned this in my previous part but ill make sure to add it to my masterlist description, the setting of this series will be taking place in a world where ever, evols and wanderers do not exist. some aspects of the characters and how they met have been tweaked to fit with the plot, so pls dont come at me if something isnt how you remember it in the game.

Divider creds @/cafekitsune

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is female and is AFAB, pregnancy,

word count: 1.7k

masterlist

series masterlist

taglist: @aneertawrites @eurydiceknowshesloved @angelichiaro @nommingonfood @ynovaes @animegamerfox @melonssoup @iamawkwardandshy @novthirty @rosevelt632 @sleepless-cloudy @justpassingdontworry @sleepykittyenergy @ijustwannabeyourmuse @iiyumii @eolivy @asakiyu

You sat there numb, your thoughts were a broken record.

'I'm pregnant.'

That's all your brain could handle at the moment. MC sat next to you in silence, rubbing a soothing hand on your back,

She knew that right now what you needed was comfort through gestures and not words, so she just waited patiently until you were ready to say something.

No matter what decision you made, she was ready to support you.

●・○・●・○・●・

A couple of hours had passed, you still hadn't spoken up but you had moved to lie in your bed.

MC had gone out to get some lunch, which left you alone with your thougthts.

If there was one thing you had come to a conclusion for, it was that you were going to keep the baby.

Call it a motherly instinct, but you didn't have the heart to abandon an innocent soul.

It wasn't long before MC came back, calling you to come to the dining room. She had gotten your favourite takeaway hoping that it would cheer you up a little bit, and it did.

You smiled as you helped her set the table. As you guys were unpacking the food you decided to finally tell her what was going through your head.

"I'm going to keep the baby. I don't want to abandon an innocent soul and I've always wanted a child, it just didn't happen the way I would have hoped."

You said with a sad smile as you placed a hand on your stomach.

You had dreamed of having a family, more specifically with Caleb. In a way you got your wish, but it felt like fate was cruel for granting it the way they did.

You're still young, you don't even know if you'll even be a good mother. But there's one thing for sure, you have the best possible support system you could ever ask for.

MC's smile mirrored your own.

Dinner was spent in silence, it was comfortable. MC didn't push you for a conversation and you were grateful for that.

●・○・●・○・●・

It had been a week since the news, and now you were here standing in front of Akso Hospital.

You were feeling nervous, a part of you felt like you would be judged for the reason of your visit, but you knew that was just the anxiety talking.

Taking a deep breath you walked in, it was now or never.

The nurse at the reception desk was sweet, her tone and gaze held no judgement as she guided me to the examination room.

You got settled and just laid there staring at the ceiling, you tried to keep your thoughts positive and light, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Caleb.

What it would be like to have him here with you. Would he reassure you? Would he be as nervous as you are?

All these 'what ifs' that'll never become a reality. You could only hope that you could be enough for your child.

●・○・●・○・●・

Your appointment confirmed exactly what those pregnancy tests said, you were six weeks pregnant.

You knew Caleb was the father. He was your first, and honestly your last.

At this moment in time your heart didn't have the ability to love another. He was everything you wanted in a man.

Maybe I should re-evaluate what a man is.

You thought bitterly, but you chided yourself just as quickly as that thought came.

You didn't want to think of him that way or think negatively at all, not wanting those feelings to affect your health and bring any complications for your child.

"It's ok my baby, mommy and Aunty MC will make sure you never feel insecure about not having a father."

Your words were not only to comfort your child, but also to comfort yourself.

●・○・●・○・●・

6 weeks later

You were back at Akso Hospital again, this time it was for a follow up appointment.

MC had taken time off work to come with you this time, saying how it's part of her aunty duties.

It was cute, and it never failed to put a smile on your face when she would talk excitedly about all the things she would do with her future niece or nephew.

You had assumed this check up would be the same as the first one, just a normal procedure to make sure that the baby and mum are doing ok.

Boy were you in for a treat.

As your doctor moved the wand around your growing belly you noticed something on the screen that you didn't see last time.

"Congratulations! It seems you'll be having twins."

MC let out the loudest squeal known to man at the news, you could practically feel her excitement radiating off of her.

You matched her energy with a smile on your face.

I guess my little family just grew by one.

You thought to yourself.

"Would you guys like to know the gender or do you want to keep it a surprise?"

Your doctor asked. You personally wanted to keep it as a surprise because you could already see the gears turning in MC's head.

You knew exactly what she was planning and in all honesty, you wanted to let her have her way.

She was your rock and sole supporter through all of this, you would feel bad if you didn't let her do what she wanted.

"I'd like for it to be kept a secret but by all means let her know, I can tell she's dying of curiosity."

You let out a soft laugh, your doctor cleaned up the gel and helped you up.

MC gave you a big hug before you made your way outside.

It didn't take long before MC came skipping out the room, her smile was so bright you thought you might go blind.

That night MC treated you to dinner and insane amount of sweets, which totally satiated the cravings you were having.

●・○・●・○・●・

6 months later

You were in your final trimester, it was a relatively easy going pregnancy, if you ignore the fact that you feel like a walking balloon.

Most of your days were spent in bed as the weight of your stomach made it hard to move around too much.

It was times like these that it made you think of Caleb. Even though you had promised yourself that you wouldn't, but at the end of the day you were still madly in love with a man who ghosted you after your first time.

Crazy isn't it? Your heart was a fool in love while your brain tried to be the rational one, but every now and then you would give in to the thoughts of what would have happened if he didn't run off.

Would he be here helping you through all of this? If he were to come back, how would you confront him?

You could only pray that he didn't show up in front of you any time soon, because the moment he did you would give him a beating of a lifetime.

Your due date was somewhat nearby but not close enough yet. You had your hospital bag packed and a baby carrier all ready to go right by the door. That way you and MC wouldn't be scrambling around last minute trying to find everything.

You were feeling nervous, you didn't know what the delivery would be like and you worried for your babies, wondering if you could make up for the lack of father figure they would have in their life.

You had taken a look at the time and had noticed it was quite late and MC had yet to come back from work. Just as you were about to give her a call, you heard the sound of the door being unlocked.

MC walked in holding a multitude of things, the most obvious one being balloons that read Boy or Girl?

"Surprise!"

MC exclaims, you don't know if it was just you or the hormones but you started bawling. The love that you felt was immense, no words could explain it.

You waddled over to MC to help her but she waved you off and told you to take a seat on the couch as she set things up.

You waddled back to the couch and settled in to the cushions as MC worked quick with her set up.

As soon as she was done she set up her phone so that it would capture the background and us.

"We're gonna do this trend I saw on social media, so just follow my lead."

MC gave a brief explanation and you nodded in understanding.

"Hi I'm your Aunt MC and I think you guys are gonna be two beautiful baby girls."

You giggled, you knew that she already knew the genders but thought it was cute that she wanted to at least pretend that she didn't know.

"Hi my babies, I'm your mommy and I think you guys will be beautiful boy and girl."

You always wanted a daughter and a son, but you also would be happy with either gender as long as they were healthy.

"Okay, now we're gonna do the gender reveal. Take this glass and close your eyes, on the count of three we'll push it into the cakes and see what the genders are."

MC pushed one cake towards you and placed the other one in front of her.

Following her instructions, you placed the glass over the cake and closed your eyes.

"One, two, three!"

You brought the glass down and prayed you actually got some cake in there and not just frosting.

"Ok open your eyes!"

You could hear the smile in her voice.

You opened your eyes and looked at your glass and then MC's, they were both blue.

You pulled MC into a hug, you don't know if it was the hormones or the situation but you started crying, they were happy tears.

You felt so happy that you had such an amazing friend by your side, you didn't even wanna think what life would've been like if she wasn't in it.

In the midst of all the emotions and excitement you didn't notice the seat under you getting wet until you started to feel like you may have peed your pants.

You pulled back from MC and said,

"I think my water just broke."

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Rotten Apples, part 11

masterlist , series masterlist , ao3 link

part one , part two , part three , part four , part five , part six , part seven , part eight , part nine , part ten

oh yeah, i made a spotify playlist for this <3

18+ MINORS DNI

pairing: caleb x non!mc reader

synopsis: caleb desperately searches for you. what he finds leaves him unsettled.

word count: 10.5k words

warnings: please, please, PLEASE read the trigger warnings before proceeding. lightly proofread...it ain't perfect!

author's note: hi! thank you so much for being patient with me! the story is taking a slightly darker turn! it will still focus on their relationship but...this is going to put their relationship to the test

content warning: mentions of death/murder, bodily harm, manipulation, experimentation, exploitation, self loathing, angst, professor lucius is lowkey a sadist

my rotten apples <3 : @militaryapple , @kebarney , @pinkismyfavcolor , @romils , @erisnxxi , @rik0shii , @reni502 , @spacehopper27 , @llamabois , @likesvader , @pandoras-rabbit , @princessfruit , @lukassafespace , @jexireads , @etsuniiru , @tinnyrabbit , @orianakira , @xiaorixx , @beomluvrr , @sanzy4 , @vickykazuya , @blcknebula , @sleepydang , @flamedancer13 , @gojosbedwarmer , @silmeria-lafleur , @ikiru-wa , @animecrazy76 , @fealy , @i-messed-up-big-time , @motheraiya55 , @vvonunie , @1uv4jiya , @yuuuumii , @okumurarinsbabe , @mcdepressed290 , @luleck , @sanzy4 , @lucifers-silhouette , @crazygirl3001 , @april-likes-smut , @kazbrkker , @l1ttlebabyapple , @writersandroses , @kookie-my-little-sunshine , @curryexpress , @earthykitsunesrain , @raining4food , @chaoticbardlady99 , @lemonwithstupidity

want to be added to the taglist? click here!

Seven months and twenty eight days.

It has been seven months and twenty eight days since Caleb let the woman who haunts his every waking thoughts and nightmares slip through his fingers.

He allowed himself to fall from the sky that day, slipping through the clouds as Ever’s plane vanishes from behind, becoming a black speck amongst the birds in the blue sky. The image served as a reminder of his failure to keep you safe, to keep you out of the professor’s hands and away from Ever.

Now, you’re gone and all he is left to do is pick up the remaining pieces of his sanity while trying to find you.

The days pass him by. Days blur into weeks and weeks blur into months. Caleb has become a shell of himself in your absence. All of the color in his life has been drained and his once (somewhat) patient persona as Colonel has become known as an officer to avoid in the headquarters.

Caleb dedicates every single second of his day to finding you. He pokes around the Fleet’s security files, just barley able to grasp onto a lead before the General, most likely puppeted by the Professor, locks him out of the system.

Caleb has become a Colonel that holds no power within the Farspace Fleet. He holds no power in Ever, having been dropped from the Professor’s precious right hand man spot, and he has no power in whenever he goes home, forever forced to stare at the ceiling, trying to think of new ways to get you home.

It is like a ticking time bomb slowly eating away at the seconds of his days. Knowing that you are in the clutches of Ever and Professor Lucius scares him. He is terrified because he knows that the Professor has a sadistic side to him, an unstable hunger for power and evolution that will devour the entire world from around you. Professor Lucius will not stop until his final plan comes to fruition and you, my dear, just happen to be at the center of his plans.

Caleb sighs, closing his eyes. He lays in his bedroom, the weather destroying the outside world as he battles impulsive thoughts of storming into Ever as a one man army, ready to do anything to bring you back into his arms, to smell your perfume, to feel your warmth against his skin…

Your face crosses his thoughts. A small smile spreads across his face, the man instinctively reaching out for your. Your hands are just about to meet, his fingertips just barely grazing yours, before your body is enveloped in smoke, being dragged away into the depths of his mind. Your screams and cries for help twists his stomach, contorting it so all he can feel is nausea. 

A tear slips from Caleb’s eye. His mind is a battlefield and yet his heart remains steady, unable to betray the turmoil that crashed throughout his mind. From the first day they took you, Ever’s surveillance on him has increased. He has felt the whir of the chip inside his body, the person on the other side of the monitor closely looking at his vitals, his heartbeat. He can’t let Ever or the Professor think that he has become unstable with you away, a flight risk that will destroy everything that Professor Lucius has built. He cannot allow them to have a reason to bring him in to, to beat him into submission.

Maybe this has been Professor Lucius’ plan all along. Once Caleb has found someone to fill in the void of his heart and mind, the elderly man planned to rip them away from him, to use them as a pawn in their never ending game of cat and mouse.

Caleb has always been a good soldier when he believes in the orders he is given. Anything outside of what he deems to be right, well, let’s just say that the Professor made sure to erase any part of him that likes to disobey. The Professor has made sure to erase the morals Caleb once held. He has left Caleb with an obedience that a losing dog has towards its owner.

You helped him loosen the collar. Your prescience reminded him of what he is fighting for, his motivation to continue on with his days until he can finally rest. With you gone, his life has no more meaning. Maybe he should give in to the Professor, to allow the older man to consume his mind and body, to contort and twist his limbs into a person — no, a solider — that Caleb cannot recognize in the mirror.

His purple eyes feel heavy. His eyes flutter shut, his body almost succumbing to the disastrous desire of sleep.

Caleb’s body jolts awake. He sits up in bed, shaking away the drowsiness that lingers in his limbs, and slips away from the confines of the sheets. His feet carry him out of the bedroom and into the openness of his apartment. None of the lights are on, just the occasional flash of lightning through the large windows he hasn’t been bothered to shield with curtains.

The thunderstorm outside serves as a reminder for him letting you walk away. He should have never gone inside and left you alone. Caleb knows that you’re a runner, it is one of your fatal flaws that inevitably cut your time together short, and it is a flaw that he will try to bury with love and reassurance once you’re back into his arms. If you’ve fallen to a fate that he’s unable to bring you back from…

Caleb stops once he reaches the kitchen. He hasn’t cleaned since the night you left. Crumbs litter the countertop from his last meal. He sighs, knowing that you would have had some witty comment about him turning you into a housewife whenever you come over, always having to pick up after him. He knows you wouldn’t mean it. He desperately misses the toothy grin that would flash across your face as you swiped the crumbs into your hand and into the nearest trashcan.

A sigh leaves his lips. It hangs in the air, weighing down on his shoulders. The man cleans the crumbs and places his dishes into the sink, not wanting to clean them just yet with the hop that you’ll walk through the door at any moment, wanting to hear how you’d chastise him for being so messy during a time when he needed to be clean the most.

Every now and then, Caleb grabs the perfume you left behind and sprays it inside the rooms, on his pillow, and in all of the places you used to fill in whenever you were at his apartment. The last time he sprayed was a week ago when he could barely bring himself to leave his bed. The notes from your perfume kept him going and it helped him push through the monotonous days.

Should he spray it again? The bottle is almost empty so maybe he should salvage it instead of being selfish. He should spare the leftover drops of perfume, be merciful, and not take out his frustrations and depression on it.

Caleb finds himself on the couch. He sits in your spot, grabbing the pillow that you always hugged to your chest and mimicking your movements, resting his chin against the smooth material of the fabric. He slowly inhales, his body melting into the couch’s cushions, as your familiar and welcoming smell lulls him into sleep.

There’s a knock at the door. Caleb’s head perks up, his purple eyes landing on the dark brown door. A pair of footsteps run from behind, infectious giggles and laughs while Josephine tries to keep up. Caleb looks over his shoulder, watching as Josephine attempts to grab her as she jumps around with damp hair.

“Caleb? Would you be a dear and grab that for me?” Josephine’s voice is light and airy.

It’s everything that Caleb hates. She may not remember what Josephine and her colleagues have done to them, but Caleb does. The boy decides to not fight it, though, and stands from his spot on the brand new couch. He scratches around an old bandage that sits on the inside of his arm, a place where he was frequently poked with needles while in the clutches of Ever.

Caleb navigates the house, weaving through a plethora of opened cardboard boxes. Inside sit brand new items. Clothes, kitchen utensils, shoes, decorations, picture frames…all of which were bought to give off the image that Josephine is a gracious grandmother to her adoptive children.

He cautiously approaches the door, hesitating to grab the doorknob. He hopes that he can get away with the excuse that the people left or that it was some prank, like the ones he saw on the screens when he first left the facility. The boy thinks that the coast is clear when another knock sounds off from the door. He sucks in a breath and opens it up, expecting it to be soldiers from Ever when in actuality it’s…

You.

You stand in front of him, just slightly shorter, with a bright smile on your face and a plate of cookies in hand. Your mother stands behind you, a proud smile on her face as you extend the cookies towards him. Your dress is a navy blue and you have an white ribbon laced into your hair, formed into the perfect bow any girl has. Caleb is unable to breathe, his eyes flickering between the plate of baked goods and your pretty eyes.

“Hi…” your voice is quiet and your demeanor is shy. You take a step forward, the rim of the plate pushing into his personal space. He isn’t complaining, though, and holds out his hands to take the plate from you. “Um...” you turn around and look at your mother, who gives you a thumbs up and a smile. You turn back around and meet his eyes again, making Caleb’s tiny boy heart skip a beat. “Welcome to the neighborhood! My mom and I baked these for you and your family.”

Caleb is unable to say a word. All he can do is nod and smile, warmth spreading through his chest at the kind gesture. He has never experienced this before, to have someone gift him something with no ulterior motives or expectations to receive something back. Just as he’s about to say something, Josephine and her come walking down the hall.

Her laughter grows as she gets closer and Caleb instinctively steps to the side so she and Josephine can come out. The two of them smile down at you, thanking you for the cookies and king gesture all while Caleb just stares. Your eyes move to him every now and then, sharing a small smile with him. Eventually, he returns it, sheepishly looking away as his cheeks warm up.

“It looks like you have a lot on your hands,” your mom speaks up from behind, approaching the door, “would you like me to take them for a bit so you can have some time for yourself?”

“That would be wonderful,” Josephine smiles, a sigh of relief washing over her body.

Caleb looks up at her, his mind already fighting against the idea of leaving the safety of their home, but his gut tells him that it’s okay, that he doesn’t need to forever live in a state of fight or flight. He watches as you, your mother, and her leave the close proximity of the door. He turns his face away, looking back up to Josephine who leans down, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, Caleb,” her voice is tired, weary. She holds the weight of his and her’s worlds on her shoulders, carrying the weight of responsibility and accountability for her previous actions. “You deserve to go be a kid. Go and try to have some fun, okay?”

Josephine gently nudges him towards the trio. Her laughs fill the air, the young boy listening as she lists off her favorite types of sweets and favorite things she has seen since moving here. He sighs, nodding, and turning around. He keeps his eyes on the ground, unable to look away from the dark gray gravel. When he looks up, though, he notices you waiting at the gate for him.

“You’re Caleb, right?” you quietly ask. He nods as he approaches you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You tell him your name and he instantly memorizes it, loving how sweet the sound of your name is against his ears.

A butterfly flutters overhead. You look up, your smile growing brighter at the sight. You reach a hand out and the insect immediately lands on your tiny hand. Its wings are a bright orange color. It’s reminiscent of a sunset, one that he desperately wishes to see sometime soon.

“Do you…like butterflies?” he asks, finally breaking his silence. The two of you begin to walk in the direction of your house, which sits right next door to his. You ecstatically nod, a quiet laugh leaving your lips.

“My dad likes to say that we’re all caterpillars ready to become butterflies,” your voice is like music to his ears, your words as sweet as you are. The orange butterfly leaps from your hand and takes flight, its orange wings quickly flapping under the afternoon sunlight. You turn to look at him, smiling as the two of you approach the open door of your home. “Everyone deserves a second chance to become something better, don’t you think?”

Caleb nods, wholeheartedly agreeing with you. His heart swells and feels so full with a newfound purpose blossoming inside his body. He’ll become a butterfly, one that is as pretty as the wings that you already wear. He will not let his past define who he is, even if he is just a young kid who has no idea how the world works.

No longer does he love the colors white and gray. Instead, he much prefers blue and orange, the color of your dress and the butterfly that brought you two together.

“Come on,” you take his hand, tugging him towards the door, “let’s play!”

As soon as the two of you step through the door, your appearance changes. The two of you are older now. Eleven years old, to be exact. He finds himself in your backyard, surrounded by thriving greenery of your parents’ garden. A swing set sits in the middle of the lawn and she swings back and forth with the help of another kid, one whose hair is as black as night and his eyes sharing similar shades of the green grass and yellow flowers.

He sits beside you on the red and white blanket, popping an apple slice inside your mouth while you watch Zayne push her on the swing. There’s a small smile on her face, one that he has always found comfort in whenever he needed it the most. He rests his chin on his hand, melting into his own touch at the sight of you. Your eyes move to him, a small blush creeping up onto your cheeks. You look away, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“What are you looking at?” you ask, unable to meet his gaze. He found it so cute, how you always avoided his eyes whenever you caught him staring.

In just a few years, you’ll be boldly challenging him instead of being so shy. He loves the fact that you were able to undergo a third rebirth, shedding your cocoon of shyness and coming into a confident persona that he loves even more.

“Nothing,” he chuckles, leaning in to make your blush deepen even more.

“You’re such a jerk,” you mumble under your breath, earning a hearty laugh from him.

He wishes he can respond to you, to come up with some quirky quip about how cute your blush is or that he wishes that you would sit with him like this for longer. But all good things must come to an end. It’s just a fact of life.

She comes running over and places herself between the two of you, a proud smile on her face while Zayne takes his place at your side. You greet him with a smile and he nods in return, the man never having really changed throughout the years, which makes Caleb feel a tinge of jealousy. 

“Let’s play a game!” She proclaims with a fist in the air. Caleb’s eyes move between you and Zayne, his attention not on her as she begins to list off games that the four of you can play.

“Is there something you would like to play?” Zayne leans in to ask you. Caleb clears his throat, standing from the blanket. Everyone turns to look up at him but his purple eyes remain focused on yours.

“I propose that we play hide and seek,” Caleb smirks, knowing that it is the perfect opportunity to get you away from Zayne. “I can be the first one to find you guys! How does that sound?”

“Hide and seek?” Zayne stands from his spot, arms crossed over his chest while Caleb’s remain on his hips. “We aren’t—”

“It sounds like fun, Caleb,” you comment with a smile, standing and helping her up once you’re done. Zayne quickly shuts up and diverts his gaze, a hint of embarrassment flashing across his face. “Give us a minute to hide?” Caleb immediately nods, one that you return with a confident smile.

Not even a second later, the three of you bolt away and out of the backyard, knowing the set boundaries that your parents set so none of you go too far. Caleb turns around and closes his eyes, beginning to loudly count down from 60.

The closer and closer he gets to the last number, he can feel the summer air turn chilly. The once warm and inviting wind turns cold, slapping across his chapped skin like how one of Josephine’s colleagues would slap him whenever he cried about not wanting to crush metal objects with his mind or didn’t want to drink the bad tasting juice they made him drink before another experiment.

Caleb stops counting. He opens his eyes, seeing that he still remains in your childhood backyard. Everything is dead, though. Decomposed, overtaken by complete and utter decay. Rotten.

He looks down and spots his Colonel uniform on his body. He can’t move, feet cemented into the ground. No matter how hard he tries to fight against it, even trying to use his Evol to move but it doesn’t work. Tears fill his eyes as the familiar feeling of helplessness from his childhood seeps into his body. He cries out for help and looks around to see if someone — anyone — is there to help him.

A pair of hands cover his eyes from behind. He shudders under the touch. The pair of hands become wet from his tears. He closes his eyes, unable to bring himself to stare at the person who graces him with their touch.

He feels like a child all over again. Hopeless, unable to do a god damn thing to fight back against those who have hurt him so much. Caleb lets out a loud sob, his body trembling. The touch over his eyes turns warm, the feeling inviting and familiar. He keeps his eyes closed as a tingling sensation spreads across his face as their small fingers begin to wipe away his tears.

Caleb opens his eyes. Suddenly, he’s eight years old again. You stand in front of him, wearing the same navy blue dress you did when you first met him. You gently caress his face, wiping away his tears. A small, reassuring yet bittersweet smile spreads across your lips. A single tear rolls down your chubby cheek, eyes red from irritation.

“Find me,” you breathe the words out.

“What?” his voice cracks from under the pressure. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, trying to fight away the image of your strained eyes.

When he opens them, he’s seventeen years old. You wear the outfit on the day you told him to leave you alone, a command that he should never have obeyed.

It’s his downfall…being a good soldier.

“Find me,” your voice that was one strong begins to deteriorate. Caleb feels like he’s being suffocated as his body racks over from helpless sobs.

“I can’t!” he cries out, “I’ve done everything I can!” Caleb reaches up to rub his eyes.

You stand before him in the same dress you wore on the night of the Peace Summit’s Gala. The black dress is a sight for sore eyes, something that he wished so many times that you would wear again during the happy and peaceful hours of your newfound relationship. He reaches out for the silk fabric, wishing to feel the material. His white sleeve of his Colonel uniform catches him off guard, unable to bring himself to close the distance.

“Find me, Caleb!” you raise your voice as the rain picks up, drenching your hair and outfit.

From around the corner of the house, Farspace Fleet soldiers appear. Their dark uniforms remain ominous, faces covered with pitch black goggles and the black fabric of their uniform covering the lower half of their face. Their footsteps are loud, the Colonel able to feel each and every vibration from their steps as they grow near. Caleb reaches out for you, desperate to hold on, but your arms are taken by the soldiers.

“Find me, Caleb! I’m going to die here!” you scream over the thunderous wind. Lightning strikes from a distance, the thunder rattling the bones inside of his body. “I don’t want to die! Please!”

The soldiers begin to drag you away from him. You kick and push them way, trying to fight against their forceful grasps. You gasp for air, making Caleb feel even more breathless, the Professor’s hand around his throat slowly tightening, making it impossible to breathe.

“I’m coming!” Caleb cries out, trying to force his feet to move.

He gasps, feeling as the vines from the garden curl around his ankles. The thorns push through the smoothed leather, piercing into his skin. Caleb hisses and reaches down to fight the earth as it begins to swallow him whole. He gasps, looking up as your bloodcurdling screams echo inside his ears, the sounds haunting him as his body is forced beneath the earth. Dirt and mud cover his body. A strike of lighting hits his body, forcing him deeper into the ground.

Caleb’s body jolts awake. He screams out your name. He loses control of his Evol, the living room becoming destroyed within seconds. The picture frames that once hung on the wall have fallen, the glass shattering and scattering across the floor of his living room. The television screen cracks and the ottoman that sits beside his couch flies across the room, landing near the kitchen. Pillows disperse, a few of them shredding from the sheer force and power of his Evol.

His chest rapidly rises and falls, his heart pounding on the inside of his chest, his breathing ragged, unable to fully catch it. He looks around, desperate for something that reminds him of you, to trick himself into thinking that you’re here or that you’ll be back in his arms sometime soon.

He can still hear your screams. Your pleas and cries for help.

Tears run down his face. Caleb doesn’t wipe them away and looks to the side as he tries to get his breathing back under his control.

With once glance to the side, he notices that the sun is out. The storm has passed. The sky is a remarkable shade of blue, one that he would comment on to you to try and get a smile out of you so early in the morning. His heart aches. He stands from the couch, his bare feet avoiding the remnants of shattered glass that lay across the floor.

His Colonel uniform feels heavier than usual. The corners of the metal pins on his chest are unusually sharp when he drags his finger along the edge, the metal cutting into the pad of his thumb. He doesn’t mind the pain. If anything, he deserves it.

Caleb steps through the door, slamming it behind him, leaving behind a wake of destruction that bloomed from his grief over you.

Today, things are going to change. Today, Colonel Caleb Xia is going to find you.

The day has dragged on for longer than it needed to. Caleb remains behind his glass desk, shuffling through random forms and mission reports that he quickly stamps his signature onto. The stack slowly shortens, just like the leash that the Professor has him on.

Whenever he leaves his office, he can feel the eyes of lower ranking soldiers and Adjutants on him. He pays them no mind, simply making the mental note to keep an eye on them just in case they decide to follow him and test his patience.

He wants them to follow him. He wants them to give him a reason to put them in their place, to declare them to be treasonous, to give him a reason to crush them beneath the weight of his Evol. Caleb would do anything to unleash the anger that he feels towards the Professor and Ever. He wants to avenge you for the harm that they have undoubtedly caused you. He wants them to pay with their blood, to break their bones until they are begging for mercy, for him to go easy on them.

Is that something you would want too? Will you also wish for them to pay with their bodies for all of the sins that they have committed?

Caleb’s mind wanders to you whenever he’s alone. He tries to put himself in the mindset of Professor Lucius, wondering where in the world he would tuck you away, where he’d hide you as a punishment against him.

Ever’s main base would be too risky. Caleb has been there one too many times for the Professor’s comfort, having been one of his many soldiers in the army he is slowly building. Holding you hostage in the Farspace Fleet’s administrative building is too risky as well seeing how Caleb knows the place like the back of his hand. There are other Ever bases that you could be held at, places that Caleb has visited as a child. What Caleb neglected to look at, though, are the bases that the Fleet has. A few of which that are placed conveniently close to one of Ever’s laboratories.

Caleb faintly remembers something that Josephine once told him. It was on one of the many nights in her later years, a time in which she was beginning to slowly lose her mind due to constant migraines and trips to the hospital. She was lucid one night, sitting alone in her chair as she slowly knitted a new scary for him to take back to the DAA.

Josephine stared out the window, the metal knitting needles frozen in her hands. It was a particularly cold day in Linkon. Caleb came back to help Josephine out, to shovel the snow in the driveway while she stayed inside on her day off from the Association. Caleb came back inside, hands frozen and his heart chilled by not having seen you at home.

“Caleb,” she called out to him. She barely looked in his direction, her eyes forever trained on the snow that falls from the window. Caleb approached her side, sitting in the old chair that he used to fight with her over who gets to sit in it. She usually won.

“Yes, grandma?” he spoke through gritted teeth, hating the affectionate family name. He only said it for her sake.

“Do you remember that snowy day?” Josephine’s voice is quiet, tired. She finally turns to look at him. “The Professor let the two of you go out and play in the snow as a treat for completing the job.”

The job meaning Ever killing her and forcing him to lift retired fighter jets and rusted train cars. Caleb fractured both arms from the sheer force of his Evol, the weight of the objects shattering his body. He remembers how the Professor called him broken but that it’ll be okay, that he’ll give the poor boy a second chance for her sanity.

“Yes,” he follows her gaze outside the window. Each snowflake is different, that’s a fact you told him when you partnered up for a class project.

“That place…nobody can leave it once they’re inside. You should consider yourself to be lucky.”

An ugly silence falls between them. Josephine reaches out and places her hand on his knee. It doesn’t bring him comfort.

From just outside the window, you cross by with a red scary covering the lower half of your face. You scurry across the frozen sidewalk, laughing after you almost slipped and fell. That brought him the comfort he needed.

What was Josephine trying to tell him? Was there a hint within her words or was she just spewing out crazy talk like she usually did before the house blew up?

Caleb sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He should consider himself lucky to have escaped from that place? Did Josephine not realize that she was the one who brought them there? That she is the reason for their pain and suffering as innocent children caught in a mad man’s crossfire and fucked up plans for the world?

Caleb turns to his computer. The Farspace Fleet’s logo stares back at him, the dark blue hues reminding him of the place he works at, the circumstances that he lives within. The confines of the cage are closing in on him. All he needs is a key to get out and escape so he can break you free too.

He stands from the desk, glancing at the family picture of him, her, and Josephine. His heart twists inside his chest. He should have placed a picture of you on here instead.

Caleb grabs his work laptop, one that he rarely ever uses, and places it inside his bag. He quietly exits his office, feeling no eyes or stares on him, as he begins to formulate a plan. If there is any chance that the place Josephine was speaking about still exists, then he is going to find it. He will do whatever it takes, spend however much money it will require, just so he can bring you back into his arms.

“Where are you going?” a voice says from behind him in the parking garage. Caleb places his bag into the backseat and turns around, shrugging his Colonel’s jacket off of his body. 

“Home,” Caleb’s response is short, cold. His Colonel persona quickly takes over his body, any warmth that was once stowed away and tucked beneath the confines of his skin disappeared. He stares at his Adjutant, Liam’s eyes cold and unresponsive yet there is a hint of desire behind them…a desire to help out his superior officer in his time of need.

“The General will be back today,” Liam’s voice remains monotone, dead. Caleb raises an eyebrow and rolls up his dress shirt’s sleeves. “He’ll want to see you.”

“More like me with him,” the angry comment leaves his lips before he can even think about it. Caleb sucks in a breath. Liam steps forward, a slow nod moving his head.

“Lunch made you sick,” Liam slowly speaks the words. Caleb straightens his posture, narrowing his eyes at the slightly shorter man. “You had to go home to recuperate. To be the best that you can possibly be for the Farspace Fleet.”

“The General will understand,” Caleb nods, confirming Liam’s cover story.

Caleb gets inside his car and closes the door behind him. Without looking at Liam, he drives away, speeding back to his destroyed apartment.

He sits himself down at the desk inside his bedroom. He pushes aside anything that will get in his way and opens up the laptop. He quickly logs in and moves to the Ever security database. It is something he has had access to seven months ago, but was kicked out. Since then, Caleb has been unable to get back inside the database to try and find the corporation’s files on you.

He stares at the log in page. The cursor blinks at him, slowly ticking away with every passing second. It beckons to him, your screams and cries filling his mind. Caleb swears he can hear you from down the hall but pays no attention to it, believing that it is just his mind playing stupid tricks on him. He wouldn’t even be surprised if it was a new aspect of the Toring chip inside his body, a way for the Professor to taunt him while he tirelessly searches for you.

Caleb types in his username and information. He is immediately kicked from the server, the login page staring at him once again. He sighs, leaning back in his chair, and cracks his knuckles. He loosens his tie, tossing it to the side. He glances away from the screen.

If only Josephine were alive to help him find the arctic base. Maybe then would this search finally come to an end, his pain and agony being able to rest with you back in his arms, your skin pressed against his as he protects you from the world, vowing to never let you go ever again.

Wait…Josephine. 

Caleb turns back to the computer. Although it was a little under twenty years ago that Josephine left Ever with her and Caleb tucked away in the back of a car, she still may have access to the company’s mainframe. Holding onto that small sliver of hope that flashes across Caleb’s heart, he slowly types in Josephine’s username, guessing what her password could possibly while trying to remember if she had told him about it in the past.

The damn Toring chip just had to do a number on his memories, didn’t it?

He stares at the small asterisks of the password. It’s long, yes, but everything that he has learned since living with Josephine as her perfect grandson, the spitting image of what a role model should look like before his untimely death. He sucks in a slow and deliberate breath.

The air around him turns stale. Your scent no longer lingers in the air. The rays of the sun leak into the room through hastily closed curtains, the golden light of the decaying day spread across his bedroom floor.

Caleb knows he will only have a few minutes inside the database before they recognize Josephine’s user inside the mainframe. In and out, that’s what needs to be done.

His finger hovers over the keyboard, ready to press the enter button when he hesitates again. He draws his hand back, gnawing at his bottom lip, his teeth digging in harsh enough to pull blood from his body. Caleb looks to the side, his Evol opening up a drawer. Inside sits a USB drive. He quickly inserts it into the computer, opening it up so he can download any and all files that revolve around you before he is kicked out.

His hands tremble, his breathing unsteady. Is he ready for what he’s about to see? How badly has the Professor treated you? Or have you been sitting pretty this whole time ready to be saved at any given moment?

He slowly breathes in, mentally preparing himself for the absolute worst. How will he react to the news that your body is stuffed inside some bag ready to be incinerated at any given moment?

No! He can’t think like that. He can’t afford to.

The man grabs his phone, his wallpaper lighting up. It is a photo of the two of you at your friend’s wedding. You look gorgeous in the bridesmaid dress, while he smugly smiles at your side, your purse strung over his shoulder. He sighs, focusing on the smile you wear. Your hand lays on his chest, head resting against his shoulder.

Caleb wishes he could go back into that moment and steal you away, to lock you away in the tallest building he can find so nobody can ever hurt you ever again. Only he will have the key to the door that you are hidden behind. Only he can move in and out. The rest of the world can politely ask him to see you. He’ll consider it.

He slowly exhales. He clicks the enter key and waits, watching as the database processes the login information. His heart races. His palms are clammy. He rapidly taps his foot against the bedroom floor. The small circle stares at him, his heart hoping that for the love of god it lets him in, getting him one step closer to you.

The screen goes blank. Caleb’s heart stops. The computer screen refreshes and it displays Ever’s database but from Josephine’s security clearance, one of the highest an employee can have. He gasps, fingers attaching to the laptop, and he quickly begins to navigate his way through the security system.

Caleb disregards any files about Viper or any of the other people he works with through Ever. He shifts through newer files, isolating it from the past seven months to narrow his search. Many of the reports are filled with nonsense about new diets for the team that lives on the base while others talk about upcoming research on Evols that Caleb doesn’t pay attention to. That is, until he sees a familiar number.

V-03

Caleb’s body goes numb, his blood cold. He blinks at the numbers, moving closer and closer to the main file source involving the mysterious V-03. He knows his place as X-02, and she is A-01, so who is V-03?

The deeper and deeper he moves inside the project file, the heavier his shoulders become. They begin to slouch, his eyes unable to blink or move away from the screen. Caleb quickly clicks through the folder, downloading anything and everything that he can find. The USB drive keeps up and swallows the files, making untraceable copies that will not be led back to him. He looks at the clock that blinks on the glass panel by his bed.

Three minutes have passed by. He guesses that he has about two or three left before they realize that Josephine, a phantom they killed a year ago, is haunting their security system. 

One folder in particular catches his attention. He doesn’t open it just yet, staring at the label.

Programming

He swallows the lump in his throat and downloads copies of it. His purple eyes move to another folder, quickly repeating the process as it dawns on him that he has finally found you. The file containing documents for V-03 were hidden away, only being accessible through back routes and hyperlinks imbedded into other documents. Professor Lucius is safe, Caleb knows this, and he knows just how precious you are to him. He’s going to keep you as hidden as possible yet keep you in plain sight so that it can torture Caleb with the idea that he could have found you sooner.

Two minutes quickly goes by and Caleb has downloaded everything involving V-03. It’s a long shot thinking that he has found you but with all of the clues and hidden messages with the way many of V-03’s comments have been blacked out only makes him believe that it is you, his heart aching at the thought that the Professor has made you endure the same process he did as a boy.

Caleb quickly logs out of the mainframe once he is done with little under a minute to spare. He removes the USB drive from the laptop and places it on his desk beside his personal computer. He takes the other laptop and uses his Evol to make it float the air. He inserts the USB drive into his computer while the Fleet’s laptop is slowly crushed into a small metal ball, the force of the surrounding gravity replicating the anger that simmers inside Caleb’s chest. The metal ball falls to the ground just as Caleb opens up the files about V-03, staring at the folder’s names.

Programming. Experiments. Evol. Purpose.

Caleb’s mouth goes dry. His mouse hovers over the names, sliding back and forth, unsure which one he should take a look inside first. He sighs and clicks on the folder labeled Purpose, hoping that this is the least worrying of them all.

Inside the folder sits a single document alongside a video. The video’s thumbnail is of Professor Lucius. Caleb sighs, his heart racing inside of his chest, as he clicks the video. It begins to play.

Professor Lucius enters the frame. He sits down and Caleb recognizes the office he is in. He leans closer to the screen as if it is going to transport him inside.

“The purpose of Project V is simple. The Farspace Fleet has given Ever the task of enhancing its soldiers and worker so that every single one of them will be able to fight with whatever threat it is that comes their way. The General has personally requested me to do this,” the Professor sighs, a slight smirk tugging the corner of his lips, “and he even has a participant in mind for the trial period.”

Caleb shudders. He pauses the video as a wave of nausea crashes throughout his body. Caleb suddenly becomes aware of his surroundings. The smell of decay that comes from the kitchen, the way the curtains flow back and forth from the ceiling fan, and the way his leg bounces up and down as anxiety courses throughout his body. He closes his eyes, unable to stare at Professor Lucius, and presses play.

“She’s a spitfire and yet she is one of the most obedient Fleet employees I have ever met. She is strong minded and gets the job done no matter what. I have only met her a handful of times but she has proven to be the perfect mound of clay for me to mold.”

Caleb stands from the desk and rushes away. To hear Professor Lucius talk about you so casually, talking about you as if you are a toy to be played with, makes his skin crawl.

“She will be our lucky V-03, a continuation of the…failed experiments from twenty years ago,” the Professor emphasizes the word ‘failed’ with such disgust and contempt that Caleb knows it was directed at him.

Caleb is the man the Professor hasn’t been able to tame. Caleb is the soldier that disobeys orders. Caleb is the weapon that got away, that fights back against the Toring chip every chance he gets. Caleb is the man who has evaded many of the Professor’s traps. Caleb is the person that Professor Lucius wishes to tame and he is using you as his leverage.

“Experiments will begin shortly. Additionally, she will be the first test subject to receive an all new Toring Chip, one that hands full bodily autonomy to Ever and the Fleet for controlling. It will be controlled through a small tablet. We’ll be able to control her breathing, consciousness, and emotional regulation while the chip is inside her body. Whoever holds her leash is in control.”

Caleb exits the video. His fingers move at a light speed pace, moving into the folder labeled Programming.

The inside of the folder is filled with hours of footage. You sit in the center of the screen. In some thumbnails, you look tired, in other ones tears run down your cheeks, frozen in time as you cry. The last video, though? Your face is completely still and is void of all emotion.

Caleb presses the first video, a sharp pain already striking through his heart.

“Day one of programming,” the Professor’s voice is heard from behind the camera. “V-03 is uncooperative and is unwilling to accept the Toring Chip implant. We will give her one last chance to accept before we turn to…more severe consequences.”

He can hear the amusement in Professor Lucius’ voice. You sit in the center of the frame, strapped down onto a chair. Your eyes dart around the room, hands trembling from beneath the straps. Your eyes well with tears. You begin to shake your head, arms tugging against the restraints that hold you down.

“Please…” you speak out, voice quiet, fear laced throughout your tone, “I-I don’t know what I did or why I’m here but please…don’t hurt me.”

Caleb knows what your plan is. He knows exactly what it is you’re thinking int his moment. He knows that you’re trying to appeal to Professor Lucius’ humanity. The irony here is that while you think the Professor holds humanity, Caleb knows he has none. If you think that he only experiments on adults — as if that makes it humane and acceptable in the first place — what would you think when you inevitably find out that Caleb was just a baby when he was passed off to Ever?

“Will you accept the Toring Chip? Yes or no?”

“What? Why would I?” you audibly laugh, leaning back as much as you can into the metal chair, the same chair that Caleb once at in when he was just four years old. “I’ve seen what it does to people! Why would I want to do something to myself like?”

You were always so opinionated, weren’t you?

“One more chance…because I’m in a good mood.”

“No!” your voice lowers, shaking. One of the scientists in the room nears you. You try your best to wiggle away from him, fighting against the restraints. “NO! Stop! Get off of me! You can’t make me do this!”

Your screams and yells are animalistic. Your appearance is covered by the scientist’s back. Caleb’s breath gets caught in his throat.

“Please stop! Ca—” the video’s audio cuts out. All Caleb can do is watch as your body thrashes around from under the scientist’s grip, a long syringe hangs in their hand, the metal catching the light. The video abruptly ends when you kick the scientist, causing him to topple into the camera. He exits the video and opens up a document, one that has been meticulously blacked out.

Your name is blacked out of the document, erasing any trace of your true identity. To Ever, you are V-03. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Caleb scrolls through the document. His eyes widen at the horror they put you through the first day. He connects the clues through the redactions, his stomach twisting and churning.

Subject will be known as V-03. Her psychological evaluation (REDACTED). V-03 refuses to answer questions about (REDACTED). Professor Lucius stepped in. He informed her of previous experiments. When (REDACTED) is mentioned, (REDACTED) and she (REDACTED). V-03 mostly speaks of the Colonel after this.

Caleb’s breath gets caught in his throat. The Colonel… Why are you trying to save him before you save yourself?

Subject was told that she will have Toring Chip V.3.9 implanted in the base of her neck. Subject refused and became aggressive. Once sedated, subject was told that if she does not cooperate, we will  (REDACTED) and make sure he (REDACTED). Subject agrees.

He moves out of the document, brows furrows at the computer screen. Caleb glances to the side and catches a brief glance of a document that acts as an overview for the new Toring Chip.

Toring Chip V.3.9 will be implanted as the base of the subject’s neck. Toring Chip V.3.9 will not be (REDACTED).  Unlike Toring Chip V.1.3, V.3.9 will not be taken out (REDACTED). Professor Lucius says that this makes the Toring Chip permanent instead of temporary.

An unsettling feeling ferments in the bottom of Caleb’s stomach. He closes his eyes, swallowing the bitter taste that forms across his tongue. It only worsens, though, leaving him trembling. He scrolls to the next video.

You sit in the same chair with dark eye bags under your eyes. Caleb blinks away his tears. He reaches for the screen, the tips of his fingers grazing against the image of your face.

Silent tears flow down your cheeks, eyes completely dissociated as the world moves around you. A man and woman in white lab coats move about the room like they live in it. They laugh and talk about their days, their plans for the night. The man’s wife made a pot roast. The woman plans on watching a movie. You stare into the nothingness of the room, allowing them to move your body and insert various needles into your arms in the same exact spot Caleb’s were located as a kid.

He looks down at his arm, the light and faint scar mocking him. He can’t help but wonder if you’ll have the same scar once he gets you out of there.

Professor Lucius enters the room. You don’t meet his gaze. He sits in his usual chair that is placed across from you. Caleb can see his reflection in the two way mirror that is right behind you. The two scientists shut up and move behind the camera. Caleb memorizes their faces as they pass the camera, making a note to make them pay for their sins as well.

“Good morning, V-03.”

“My name is—” the audio cuts out again.

Caleb is unable to look away, unable to bring himself to breathe as he reads your lips, the way you make for sure the Professor knows your name. Through the reflection, Professor Lucius leans forward. The side of his arm slips into frame. He can’t read the Professor’s lips, but he can continue to read yours.

Caleb? You said you wouldn’t hurt him. You promised!

You jolt forward in the restraints. The Professor’s body shakes, probably laughing at your plight. Tears well in your eyes.

Don’t hurt him…please. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve any of this!

Caleb leans forward, his nose almost touching the screen. Oh, how he wishes that he would have been there to wipe away your tears of agony, to rip you out of the chair and away from the people who are subjecting you to such torturous methods. He clears his throat, pushing away the urge to throw up, and moves to the next document.

It is a scanned copy of Professor Lucius’ notes. His handwriting is barely legible to anyone outside of Ever but Caleb knows the special characteristics of the way he writes, having deciphered many notes from meetings and hidden messages that hid orders behind veiled threats. Caleb scrolls through the file, unable to tears his gaze off of the screen.

V-03 remains uncooperative. The chip has been implanted into her neck but she shows signs of defiance. Threats towards (REDACTED) do not work anymore. Will calling her by her name work? Or do I need to beat her into submission?

V-03 is too much like X-02. If only she were more like A-01, then we would have made more progress.

Caleb closes his eyes. He knows how much you hate being compared to her. He can’t even imagine how you would have reacted if the Professor said these words to your face. Caleb can’t help but wonder if you fought back or accepted his words as the final truth to put you in your coffin.

Moving to the next page, there are pictures of you while you’re asleep. The back of your head has been shaved, just enough space for them to insert the Toring Chip. Caleb memorized the way the stitches were sewn into your skin, the way that the Ever doctors treated you with little care seeing how the stitches were jagged and messy.

Were they taking care of you? Have the stitches been properly taken care of or did you get an infection due to lack of care?

“Good morning, V-03.”

You look tired. You’ve lost all of the extra weight in your face, your cheeks sinking into your skull. You remain dissociated as the Professor sits beside you. He wears a big puffer jacket, his breath prominent in the air, while you’re stuck in a thin hospital gown with wires and tubes connected into your arms. Caleb watches as he takes your hand, brushing the hair out of your face. There are bruises on your arms with one particularly nasty bruise across your cheekbone.

“Are you ready to cooperate?”

You don’t respond. You slowly blink, staring into nothing, eyes glazed over as the Professor straps you down into the chair. He sighs, shaking his head at you. The audio cuts out. Caleb sucks in a breath and reads the Professor’s lips.

X-02 isn’t coming to save you, V-03. He’s a broken weapon. You…you will be our saving grace.

The audio comes back to the video just as the Professor sits back in his chair beside the camera.

“V-03, it was recommended to us by psychologists to undergo the Interlinked Program so we can have your full cooperation before we begin our experimentation,” the Professor sighs. You look away, tears rolling down your eyes.

Caleb’s heart aches. Exhaustion has taken over your body. At this point in the process, which Caleb estimates to be about a month or two in, Ever makes sure that the test subject is mentally hazy, to take advantage of their weaknesses and offer a way out, a saving grace that feels like an oasis in the middle of a never ending desert.

“V-03, if you do this for us, we will make sure that you get a blanket tonight. It’s so cold out, don’t you think? Wouldn’t a blanket be nice to sleep with before your big day?”

“Please don’t hurt me,” your voice trembles through the speakers of the computer. It is just loud enough for the camera’s microphone to pick up. It sends icy daggers through Caleb’s chest.

He should have worked harder to find you. He should have flown after the plane and done what the Professor has taught him to do best: destroy things.

“Look at the screen, V-03. We are going to show you a series of images. I’ll guide you through them. The camera is going to read your body temperature and language. We have full control over your reactions. We know everything. Whenever I say interlinked, you must say it as well. Understand?”

You weakly nod.

A screen illuminates from behind the camera. A man steps into frame, moving behind you with a tool that Caleb knows. It is to adjust the Toring Chip’s functions, to tweak it to fit the soldier they have put inside of. He presses it up against your neck and you shudder, more and more tears rolling down your cheeks as you tug against the restraints.

“Let’s begin,” Professor Lucius states. He clicks a button and your face is covered in various different lights. “I’m going to tell you your baseline. Memorize it. If you don’t, you know the consequences.”

You weakly nod again.

“Your baseline is: Weeping willows decay under the scorching sun with no water to flourish. Repeat it.”

You remain quiet. The Professor sighs and snaps his fingers. A soldier walks into frame with a baton in hand. He slams it into your stomach. You cry out in pain, head rolling back. The soldier grabs your hair and movies it so you look at the screen once again.

“Say it, V-03.”

“Weeping willow decay under the scorching sun with no water to flourish.”

“Good,” Professor Lucius scribbles something into his notebook. “Have you ever been in an institution? Interlinked.”

“Interlinked.”

“A man and woman hold hands. Interlinked.”

“Interlinked.” You gulp. With a wave of the Professor’s hand, the soldier hits you again. You let out a cry, jolting around in your chair to try and get away.

“Whenever an animal is trapped, V-03, it will chew of its own leg to escape. Are you the same? Are you an animal? Interlinked.”

“Interlinked,” you breathe through word out, fear already running through your body.

Caleb closes the video, unable to watch anymore. He is in a trance, his clammy hands slipping along the keypad as he moves over to am untouched folder.

Experimentation.

Caleb sucks in a sharp breath, the chilled air of the room making his lungs tingle, feeling so dead yet so alive. It is the bulkiest folder with thousands of documents as well as hundreds of videos.

You lay on a table completely naked with tubes moving in and out of your body. The camera is set to the side, your appearance hidden behind doctors in lab coats and scrubs. You look to the side, the terror and pain flickering across your eyes as they begin to tear into you.

Caleb remembers this feeling. He remembers being awake for every experiment and modification they made on his body. They numbed him so he wouldn’t be able to move or feel agonizing pain. He could still feel the drag of the scalpel into his skin, the way his flesh was sliced into with such ease as Ever modified his arm.

You look as if you want to scream out, to cry for help. You can’t do any of it. Caleb wishes he were in your place instead. He would undergo hundreds of more experiments if it meant that you wouldn’t have been touched by the Professor’s plans.

He opens up a new video. Professor Lucius sits in the center of the video, sitting inside his office with a look of determination and sadistic satisfaction written on his face. He clears his throat as he settles into his seat, shrugging off his jacket before tossing it away.

“Our mission here at Ever is to push the human race to its fullest potential. We want to make life easier for mankind, wanting it to thrive and flourish with no obstacles in our way. The way I see it, despite all of the technological advances that we have seen in the world, we are still in a Stone Age. With the growing population of Evolvers, I can’t help but think to myself if there is a way to gift the same abilities to normal people. V-03’s DNA sequence is unique. She, like many other people, possess the DNA sequence needed to become and Evolver. It just…needs to wake up.”

To wake up? What is he talking about? Caleb thinks to himself. Chills run down his spine. The place where his Toring Chip sits tingles. His arms vibrate, his Evol having a mind of its own, his bones rattling underneath the flesh and muscles of his arm.

“What happens when we push he human body to brink of death? To stress it out so much that the body is forced to ignite the DNA needed to evolve in real time. V-03 will be the first of her kind if this hypothesis proves to be true.”

Images of you on the medical table flashes through his head. Caleb winces, closing his eyes as he tries to fight off the images of Professor Lucius digging into your chest, grabbing your beating heart into his hand, squeezing it to get you to squeal. Caleb can see the smile on the man’s face, the sadism of his actions giving him immeasurable pleasure as you wither beneath his touch.

The next video begins to play.

“V-03 will undergo beatings and lacerations as the first step of her Evolver process. The Toring Chip will send shocks throughout her body when she is about to pass out to keep her awake to prolong the process.”

The video ends and the next one begins.

You lay on the ground, your sobs curdling Caleb’s blood as soldiers beat you with their batons, kicking you with their metal toed boots. He watches as you tremble, crying out for them to stop — to have mercy on you — but they don’t let up. They continue their kicks before Professor Lucius calls them away like dogs. You shiver. You’re curled up into a ball, protecting your stomach as you cough up blood, face beaten beyond recognition.

“Your baseline, V-03,” the Professor calls out.

“Weeping willow decay under the scorching sun with no water to flourish,” you speak between coughs.

“An animal needs to be beaten into submission. Interlinked.”

“Interlinked.”

The video ends.

“V-03 shows signs of Evolving. Her Evol is special. Health regeneration. We’re going to push further to see just how far we can take it.”

Caleb opens up a file filled with countless photos. He thanks whatever higher power there is for sparing him from hearing your pained cries and begs for them to stop hurting you. Seeing them, though? He wishes he could go blind.

He shuffles through images of you with various wounds. A knife dragging along your arm. A torch being held against the flesh of your stomach, burning you. In another photo, you’re laying on the ground with multiple bloodied spots on your body, presumably where you’ve been shot multiple times.

Caleb can feel the phantom pains of the small metal bullets digging into his skin. His skin burns. His breathing grows heavy as he continues to see what they have done to you.

“V-03 cannot die. We can slice her neck and she will go unconscious, her heart still beats, but her brain activity shows that she is still alive and is…asleep. We cannot figure out where her consciousness goes if it is a dreamlike state or if she is truly just asleep. Her heart is her weak spot. If that stops beating, then she will die. V-03 also shows signs of being able to heal others with her touch. She has Evolved far beyond our expectations.”

Professor Lucius hesitates when he speaks. He rubs his eyes and turns back to the camera. A small smile graces his face. He’s finally reached his victory.

“We plan on showing the General this in a month. A showcase of our progress of the toy he has gifted to us. He deserves to see how we have molded his soldier into something…remarkable. With her DNA, we can figure out how to change the sequences of others. We will help make unstoppable soldiers for the Farspace Fleet and for the world.”

A phone rings from the other room.

Caleb slams the laptop shut. He shudders, body uncontrollably shaking. He pushes away from the desk, tears freely flowing from his eyes while his heart remains still. He exits his bedroom. His motions are calculated and careful. He enters an office that sits just at the end of the hall, a space where the two of you decided to have Fleet business happen whenever either of you brought work home.

Caleb sits in one of the chairs, grabbing the ringing phone, and brings it to his ear.

“Colonel Xia,” Liam’s voice is low from the other end of the call. “Professor Lucius has invited you to an Ever Group meeting as the General’s temporary Adjutant.”

please drop a like, reblog, & comment!! i love see what you all have to say <3

i <3 commenters

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Some anon has been going and asking other writers to continue your work. I don't know if it was with your permission or not.

Mephisto-reporting turned their request down but I thought you should know about it.

https://www.tumblr.com/mephisto-reporting/781715579208859648/maybe-you-have-already-started-writing-anniversary?source=share

Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention! I’m super upset that someone would actually go out of their way to get other writers to continue off my work :<

No continuation of my work is done with my permission!

I’d rather you guys come and ask me and wait for what my response is about continuing any of my work. Most of my works are done as single parts unless stated otherwise.

My lonely birthday series are single parts and if anyone sees anything regarding my work being published by other people or if any of my fellow writers are getting these kinds of asks with my work please do let me know!

I work hard to come up with these ideas, plots and how to properly execute them so you guys can enjoy reading them, so it is disheartening to see this :<

[i-messed-up-big-time]

maybe you have already started writing Anniversary of the Heartbreak with Caleb but I have an idea. Our non mc will also be like Caleb's sister but she was not given much attention in childhood. To be honest, one author has a similar collection. And it seems to me that your work could continue the work (I mean the plot itself) of this author. I know that it sounds rude towards you and him but I have been thinking about it for several weeks and I even have a continuation of the plot further. In general, this is not a call to action but just know that you inspire people. And I will leave a link to the work of another author

https://www.tumblr.com/i-messed-up-big-time/778513124033789952/lonely-birthday-caleb?source=share

Hi anon,

I know you had good intentions with this ask but I will not be doing such things for any work. When someone writes an idea on their own, it is their idea and it is their desire to continue it forward or drop the idea wherever they see fit. It would be disrespectful to @/i-messed-up-big-time

Only if an author personally reached out to me for creative collaboration, I would consider it because it comes straight from the source and even then, I would be very nervous if I could do justice to their work.

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Someone Precious I

Caleb x Non MC Reader

a/n: guys pls dkm ive never been to a party so when you read that pls give me the benefit of the doubt 😭, also i don't really want to go into too much detail about any of the explicit scenes that are implied, but there may be a possibility of one more detailed in the other parts! i'm finally free from uni guys so i have more time to do some writing! i finally got around to finishing this (i started right before my finals) hopefully you guys like this first part!

Divider creds @/cafekitsune

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is female and is AFAB, mentions of pregnancy, implied intimate relations (not going into detail), pet names used, mentions of drinking/getting drunk (pls drink responsibly), reader throws up, idk what other tags to add!

word count: 2.4k

masterlist

series masterlist

taglist: @aneertawrites @eurydiceknowshesloved @angelichiaro @nommingonfood @ynovaes @animegamerfox

You had known them for years, albeit you joined the infamous duo a little later than when they had met each other, but you all were as thick as theives.

Countless days and nights spent together. More often than not if one of you guys were somewhere, the other two were not far behind.

At first you didn't notice that the way you felt about Caleb was something more than just a friend, how could you? You were just a naive child at the time.

That all changed when Caleb went to high school. You started noticing certain things about him, the way his eyes twinkled when he smiled, how good he looked when he was playing basketball.

You soon were able to put a name to those thoughts and feelings, love. It was like you were exposed to whole new world, everything he did caught your attention and pulled you deeper into that black hole called love.

If only you knew how much pain and turmoil this man would bring to your life.

●・○・●・○・●・

It was near the end of your final year in university when it all happened.

You being the ever delusional girl you were always thought that the fleeting touches and eye contact between you and Caleb were something special, something unique to just the two of you.

How could you ever know that he only ever had one person in his sights, one that wasn't you.

You and MC were getting ready to go to a party, it was meant to be the last one of the year and before graduation.

MC had to beg you to come with her this one last time.

"C'mon it'll be so much fun! It'll be our last party before we graduate! Please?"

You couldn't really say no to her when she pulled out the puppy dog eyes.

Outwardly, it looked like you were reluctant, but on the inside you were kind of happy to go. Part of it was because you heard from the grapevine that Caleb might be there since some of his friends were going.

Which leads you to your current dilemma, what outfit to wear. You opted to wear a dark blue dress that reached up to your mid thigh. It was a new dress that had been sitting in the back of your closet for some time, now it finally had the chance to see the light of day.

"Hurry up or we're gonna be late!"

You heard MC yell for you.

"I'm coming!"

You responded, hopping around on one foot trying to strap your shoe onto your foot.

Once you successfully had it strapped to your foot, you quickly made your way out the door with MC.

●・○・●・○・●・

The party was in full swing by the time you guys made it there.

You made a beeline for the drinks, wanting to get some water in your system before anything else.

You spotted MC dancing with this one guy she's been talking to recently. He was a sweet guy who was in the same program as her, infamous for being asleep more often than awake. Seeing him at a party was kind of a surprise, but he probably came here because MC said she would be there.

'Looks like I'm gonna be alone tonight.'

You let out a heavy sigh with that thought. Yeah you heard some rumours that Caleb was gonna be there, but you had yet to spot him.

As if the gods above heard your thoughts, he entered your line of vision.

It's like every time you see him he just looks better than before. He was with his friend Gideon as they chatted up the guys who were hosting this party.

It wasn't long before he made spotted you. He made his way over to you with a bright smile.

"Shouldn't you be out there on the dance floor instead of brooding next to the drinks table?"

He reaches out to ruffle your hair, which not only makes you pout but also blush at the contact.

"Hey stop messing up my hair!"

You exclaim as you pull out your phone to start fixing it, Caleb can only laugh as he reaches out again but this time to help you.

You're so glad the lights in here are dim, cause your face was as red as a tomato.

"There, better?"

You gave yourself a once over in the camera and nodded in agreement, the words not coming out.

You turned to Caleb to ask him if he wanted to dance but the words died in your throat before you could even try.

There he stood with his gaze zeroed in on something, you followed it and noticed he had his sights set on MC and Xavier. If it was anyone else they wouldn't have noticed the way his brows furrowed, but because it was you, you noticed.

You always did, you just chose to ignore it because you knew that MC didn't feel anything for him aside from a love that you feel for family.

Unbeknownst to you, she was well aware of the crush you had on Caleb, silently supporting you from the sidelines. She knew you didn't want to make things awkward by admitting it out loud, but sometimes she wishes you would tell her so she could openly support you.

●・○・●・○・●・

A couple of hours had passed and you were buzzed.

You and MC were on the dance floor having some fun, that's when you felt those hands on your hips. Turning around you saw it was Caleb, your heart was running a mile minute.

You looked over your shoulder to look for MC but she was nowhere in sight, you took this as your sign to enjoy the moment.

Your poor naive heart thought this was the moment that maybe Caleb actually would look at just you.

Little did you know that this moment would lead to a series of events that would forever change your life.

●・○・●・○・●・

Your body felt sore, and suspiciously cold. Opening your eyes you were greeted with the familiar sheets of your bed, the only thing was that you were in it bare.

Sitting up you felt the ache increase tenfold, both in your head and in your back.

You sifted through your memories to try and understand what happened when it came crashing into you all at once.

'I slept with Caleb.'

You pushed yourself of the bed only to fall to your knees, you felt weak and it was definitely due to your activities from last night.

You were all giddy inside thinking maybe you might be able to take a step in a different direction with Caleb.

That's when you noticed it, the bright sticky note on your bedside table,

I'm sorry, it was a mistake.

It was like fate was laughing in your face, your world came crashing down on you.

You weren't stupid, you know what he meant. You had just a little bit of hope, but even that proved futile.

"Am I not good enough?"

You let the tears slip, steady and silent streams. But you didn't let yourself cry for too long, you needed to get up and move on.

Easier said than done.

You pushed yourself to go clean up and change your sheets, wanting nothing more than to occupy your mind with other things, and to an extent it worked.

Until you were back in bed, that's when you started crying again. Only this time, you were sobbing loudly and it was loud enough to alert your roommate of your distress.

MC came barging in, quickly reaching your side to comfort you.

A very small part of you was jealous of her, and you hated that. She was your best friend, someone who always was there for you and wanted the best for you.

Knowing that she had the one thing you so desperately wanted hurt, but not enough to let it come between your friendship. You valued her presence too much in your life, you just hoped she would still feel the same about you with what you were about to tell her.

●・○・●・○・●・

MC had joined you under the covers after you finished laying your heart bare in front of her, she never once cut you off, said anything or made any reaction aside from a look of understanding and hurt.

She was in no way hurt by your words but rather hurt at the situation, she had totally believed that Caleb was into you, dare she say obsessed with you. She saw the looks and the lingering touches that were exchanged between you two.

She thought it would all work out with time, who knew Caleb would screw it all up. Not just that, but you were under the impression that he was in love with her.

She didn't want to downplay your feelings and thoughts, as a woman she understood. She could only be there for you and show you just how wrong you were, she was determined.

You had fallen asleep a little while ago. You were utterly heartbroken and had been non stop crying as you talked, MC's heart went out to you.

You were her sister, her twin, blood relations or not, she valued you more than anything in the world. She never felt like she was only child, you and Caleb were the siblings she always wanted, she'd be damned if she let Caleb ruin that for you guys.

Little did both of them know, they wouldn't hear from Caleb for almost a year and a half.

●・○・●・○・●・

A month later

It was graduation day.

You and MC have been closer than ever since that day. Caleb had went MIA, not replying to either of you or returning your calls.

You would be lying if you said you still weren't upset about that day and the lack of communication.

'I thought we were thick as thieves but clearly not.'

You were finally graduating, the day you worked so hard for that you made it as Valedictorian of your year.

You were just putting on the final touches of your look when MC came barrelling into your room with her hands behind her back.

She gave you a sly smile before revealing what she had behind her back, a small gift bag.

You laughed as you went to your closet and pulled out a gift bag as well.

You guys were on the same wavelength it seemed.

MC was in shock, you had gotten her that necklace that she had been eyeing a few months back, she even noticed the engraving on it.

My forever sister in every universe

If it wasn't for MC being fully ready to go she would have burst into tears right then and there. She pulled you in for a hug and whispered words of thank you.

She put it on right away, it was the perfect gift for a day like today.

MC handed you the bag she brought. It was also a necklace with an engraving on it. You guys definitely were twin flames, her gift having a similar engraving as yours.

Across galaxies, you're still my sister

Putting on the necklace you pulled MC in for another hug, your heart felt full despite the absence of one particular person, but in that moment nothing mattered but the bond between you and MC.

●・○・●・○・●・

It was nerve wracking giving a speech in front of all those people, but at the same time you had this adrenaline rush pumping through your veins.

The graduation ceremony ended with hats in the air and confetti everywhere.

This marked the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.

Only, it would be a chapter filled with experiences you never would have imagined.

●・○・●・○・●・

A week later

You woke up feeling uncomfortable, your throat burned and your stomach felt uneasy. Not even a second after opening your eyes you felt last night's dinner making an appearance the same way it went in.

You bolted to the bathroom and emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet.

You probably sounded like you were dying because MC soon came bursting into your room.

She held your hair back and rubbed soothing circles on your back as you heaved, tears clouding your vision.

If there was one kind of pain you hated the most it was the pain that came with throwing up. It was agonizing, and your throat burned.

Once you were done, you moved to rinse your mouth while MC left to go get you a drink with electrolytes.

"Are you okay? I know I'm not the best at cooking but I didn't think dinner would be that bad."

MC joked as she handed you a bottle of coconut water. You let out a small chuckle before taking a sip.

"It's weird, I don't think it was your cooking. I've been feeling super nauseous lately and I can't even stand the smell of some foods."

You tell her, she smacks your arm jokingly for not denying her cooking skills, or the lack of them.

"Wait, what if you're pregnant?"

MC said, you laughed her off.

"No way, I haven't even slept..."

The words died in your throat, flashbacks from that night came crashing into your headspace. You never forgot that night, but you definitely did not remember whether you guys had used protection or not.

MC offered to stop by the pharmacy to grab you a couple of pregnancy test, saying it didn't hurt to at least try.

While you waited for her you looked through your calendar, trying to remember when you had your last period.

'Shit. I'm late.'

You paced around the room nervously fidgeting with your fingers, your thoughts were a mess.

MC came back in record breaking time with a couple of bags, one filled with different brands of tests and the other had some of your favourite snacks.

●・○・●・○・●・

You followed the directions and sat on the edge of the tub with MC, waiting for the results.

You were bouncing your knee, the nervousness kicking in ten fold. MC placed a hand on your leg in an effort to reassure you, her eyes saying that she would support you no matter what.

MC checked the results first, you didn't think you could handle looking at it.

She turned around and showed you one of the tests, and that's when you saw it.

Two red lines.

You were pregnant.

[i-messed-up-big-time]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

                                                                         ◦ ♡

𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 – non!mc. you are a successful aerospace engineer, a girlboss, with terrible luck in romance. let's hope this strangers website brings you out of that rut! 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 / 𝐭𝐰 – (READER IS DRINKING IN THIS CHAPTER) swearing/foul language, strangers, slow burn, talks of depression/mental health, tba notes – not proofread. gonna be honest i wanna turn this into a sylus x reader like ugh that sounds so juicy…. like imagine reader w sylus… 🥴 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 - 4 of many ! previous chapter | next chapter

you sit on the side, wearing aviator glasses and your jumpsuit, with a clipboard, analyzing the pilots in front of you. you were uncomfortable in your seat, but if there’s one upside to the shitty cook-out chair you were on, it’s that it made your ass look good, and some of the pilots peeped at it. 

it was the first day of your shadow for the pilots. you were tense, watching the pilots prepping, checking your list of the things you need, jotting down notes that you wanted to review for later. it was loud, to say the least. you had an ear plug on one ear, while you had an earpiece on the other, to communicate amongst yourselves. 

when you aren’t doing anything you are on your phone, texting captain apple when you have the chance. you both had talked about what you had in the morning, and what the weather was looking like where you both lived. a couple questions you’d ask here and there regarding what's for lunch, and what your plans are this week. you failed to mention that you may have a date, and the back of your mind scratches at that. 

as you’re watching the plane your eyes linger at caleb and gideon, walking together, nearing you. your eyes shoot back down to your clipboard, and when they got close gideon taps your shoulders. you feign surprise, and rise to meet them- as best you can.

“good morning boys, how are you guys doing today?” you go to shake their hand. gideon felt tense, his face covered in sweat, and as you move your hand to shake calebs hand you felt a slight spark. chalking up to the metal you had just touched you ignore it. his hands comfortably grip your intertwined ones, but it felt soft- careful, chivalric? 

before gideon could rise through the suspicion– you let go. the three of you discuss about what is going on today and you ask how they're feeling, along with the game plan after practice– small talk.  shortly after they excuse themselves to continue training. as they start, gideon turns to you real fast, and in a not-so-subtle way, whisper to you; “can’t wait to see you on friday!” you couldn’t help but grimace at that– internally, but you remain steadfast, “likewise.”  you tap his shoulder, as he catches up to caleb.

upon hearing this, caleb felt a pang of some sorts in his chest. he tries to blink the feeling away, remaining smiley as his friend catches up with him. he clasps his hand on gideons shoulder, his laugh coming out of his mouth, albeit a bit dry, “you got a date?” gideon flashes his grin at him, nodding as he tells him about what he had planned for the both of you–

– he wanted to take you out to a mom and pops restaurant- somewhere casual, then go out to bowling, or somewhere that could help ease your mind. he was thinking  that you could use a nice night where you didn’t think about work, and really connected with comfort. those were his philosophy, and hoped that his plan didn’t disappoint you. he’ll find out when the day comes, he supposes. 

what about you though, what was your ideal date? maybe a nice dinner, and you were fine paying for it, bonus if the man took initiative, a trip to the museum– an aviation museum, to be exact, ice cream after? or maybe you could fly out to another city for the weekend with your boo and enjoy what interests had to be offered there.

you look at your phone, checking the time as you slide back into one of the rooms. it was about time everybody was getting back from their break before you were to continue evaluations. the afternoon sun casts long golden lines across the tarmac. below the roar of engines echo as jets cut through the air; sharp and sleek. you’re standing directly behind the tinted windows, observing everybody getting back into their respective positions, the pilots whose turn it was getting back into their aircraft. 

you fold your arms, lips pursed in thought as you watch each pilot’s performance on her tablet– notes crisp, precise, to the point. you weren’t just looking for talent, you were looking for discipline, instinct, and someone who respected the aircraft. you wanted someone who respected the ‘maverick’ 

one of the jets banks into a sharp vertical climb, peaking just at the limits of what she knows the g-load can take. you frown, picking up your pen. you go to write on pilot #6. you tasked yourself to not give the pilots a name, just so you could remain fair. you couldn’t afford to misconstrued your thoughts on gideon or calebs performance. 

as you were writing down your notes from the pilot you had just observed you hear footsteps behind you. you ignored it, trying to finish this paragraph you had gotten written out on the piece of paper,  “too aggressive.” you mumble, to yourself, and check off on the pilot. 

“or maybe just aggressive enough.” you turn, and caleb is behind you, at the doorway, still in his flight suit, the collar unzipped just enough to show a sheen of sweat. hes clearly fresh out of the cockpit, posture easy but his eyes never leaving your sight. you arise, arms refolding, and your glasses placed on the table, “you’re not supposed to be here, caleb. this is an evaluation room.” he just shrugs, walking through and grabbing the bottle of water on the table, “the door was open so i thought it was an invitation.” he says cheekily. 

the silence deafened the room, with you watching his every move. the only thing breaking your silence was the music in the room that hummed softly. “take my breath away” by berlin. you recognized this song, its from your favorite movie. as you maintain your focus on caleb he finishes drinking, before turning to meet your gaze, “that last guy was me.” he states, stepping a little closer, “i figured.” you lie, “and? what do you think?” you fake ponder, before picking your notes up and looking at it, scanning your notes, “hmm.. well, if you want an evaluation right now.. you exceeded the vertical limit on that frame. five seconds longer and the stress load would’ve compromised the tail stabilizers.” 

“but it didn’t.” 

“not  this time.” there was a pause. a very thick pause. your silences drown out even the song that played somewhat a bit louder now.

 ‘watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say… take my breath away’ 

“you know.. your father talks about the maverick like it’s a person. does it have a soul?” he jokes, “more soul than some pilots i’ve ever met.” your eyes narrow at him. he tilts his head at your response, and his smile turns to a lopsided grin, “then.. maybe it deserves a pilot who understands that, not one that just plays things safe.”  

“is that what you think i’m looking for? someone who pushes the limits of these aircrafts?”

he nods sharply, but his voice low now, “i think you’re looking for someone who knows when to, and why.” 

you cant help but laugh at him, “caleb. you’re cute.” 

caleb feels a sudden cooling sensation. he feels like the air in his lungs get shot out of his system, his blinking patterns pick up their pace, oh goodness, is it hot in here? he’s confused, but he rubs the back of his head, laughing along with you, “ahh.. that’s sweet of you-” but you realize how it looks like, before waving him off, “fuck– sorry that was odd. i meant that in a friendly way! i know you have a girlfriend!” you reassure him as he stops laughing. 

his demeanor goes back to normal, suddenly understanding you, “oh-” he starts, “--you think i have a girlfriend?” your eyebrows raise at him, waiting for him to continue, “no.. i don’t have a girlfriend-” your eyes widen. holy fuck so you have a chance, for-reals! – oh god---you have a date with gideon though. 

“oh- but that woman at the gala?” you inquire, and caleb could feel his cheeks tint, “oh uh. that- was my best friend- wait.. you saw that?” ‘shes so observant..’ he thinks to himself, and now you feel like a freakish stalker, “well you were there in the middle! how can i not see that?” you defend yourself, looking away as if you were a kid caught in a lie. 

caleb laughs, walking closer towards you, and your heart paces as fast as he walked until he was just a couple feet from you now.  “well-” your cheeks tint as well, as you prepare your other defense, “what about that phone call….you were supposed to see somebody else… for new years.. sounded pretty serious to me.” you tilt your head at him. 

you don’t even know why you were trying to defend yourself. this wasn’t looking good, and you were slowly starting to feel bad for having observe so much, and to you it felt like you were being weird. caleb on the other hand, couldn’t help but feel good. he’d never seen this wavelength from somebody. felt and saw the same way he did. it made him feel… alive? 

“ah.. same person.. but she’s my childhood friend– she means a lot to me. we’ve gone through a lot, y’know?” he laughs as he explains to you. you listen intently. after he talks, you two stay in silence again, and you genuinely did not know what to say. would it be weird to ask ‘oh so you’re free right?’ even though you were fighting tooth and nail not to lose to your intrusive thoughts.

“i’m sorry. i just forced you to explain yourself. i did not mean to be like a stalker or something.” you attempt to wave off the embarrassment, and he couldn’t help but laugh at your apology. ‘you don’t have to apologize for a thing. you are so gorgeous.’ he wishes he could just hit on you, but gideon was on his mind. that’d be weird to just steal you from his sights, but at the same time, he thinks for others all the time.. whats 1 time.

“no no, don’t worry about it! i appreciate your apology though. it’s kind.”  he reassured you. you felt a memory in the back of your head. his mannerisms reminded you of someone, but you couldn’t pinpoint who so you mentally shrug it off before you pat him on the shoulder, having to tiptoe just a bit, to reach him. 

“but uh- i really do wish you luck. it’s a tough competition out there.” you wink at him before you step to his side, and walking out of the evaluation room. you bolt from the eval room and head towards the lounge to clear your head and get a cup of coffee. you figured it was time to distract yourself with some captain apple.

space baby: hey i have a question. if you don’t want to answer you don’t have to. captain apple: hey! was just thinkin’ bout you;) what’s up? space baby: like wise.. <3 have you ever had a girlfriend? boyfriend?

you bit your lip as you hit send. you couldn’t tell whether or not that was a good idea, and before you could close your phone you get an instant response.

captain apple: ha! are you already asking? i’m flattered. tbh no gf. too much time at work, not enough time to fall in love. kinda sucks. what about you? space baby: i know how that feels 100%. i am on the same boat. but i think i might be too picky is more like it. captain apple: well tell me your standards and we can see if you’re being picky or not.

this catches you off guard. you’d never been offered to talk about yourself in this sense, and whoever captain apple was, he was getting on your good side asap.

space baby: well.. i want a man who can be level headed with me. i don’t want an idiot. i want a man whose obsessed with me. i love men with same interests.  don't be vain. a gentlemen, someone who opens the door for me without me asking. a man who can kiss my hand when they see me. someone who just loves me and understands me.

it takes a minute for captain apple to respond, and you go back to writing your notes as you finish the last couple candidates. soon after you receive a ping.

captain apple: miss space baby, it sounds like the bare minimum. not to say its bad or anything, but i think a man in love or a man who truly loves you would do all of that without asking. you want a man you can have an intelligent conversation with, a chivalrous man. i completely understand. i think that is more than a reasonable accommodation, and i truly hope you can find someone who is capable of doing that for you. you seem like a wonderful woman, and any man would be a fool if they deny that chance. 

your chest flushes, and you smile to yourself. it was so sweet that this random man you didn’t know was understanding you the way you so deeply wanted to. after the breather you return to the message.

space baby: you are so genuinely kind captain, i really appreciate you for those words. your words of affirmation really helps.. tell me.. what is your ideal woman? captain apple: i want a woman i can protect. to show her that i am worth being the man for her. i would do anything for her.  space baby: haha, sounds like we’re a match made in heaven ;) captain apple: don’t tempt me ;)

days later --

you and captain apple enjoy your regularly scheduled banter. you don't see much of caleb and gideon during the week. you were initially there for the first batch of tests, and the other engineers would be handling the rest. once the results came you were scheduled to do one more perception training with them before you made your final choice.

outside of work you spent more time talking to captain apple, and even managed to watch the same movie at the same time while live texting each other commentaries. that was fun, and something you'd never done. it felt thrilling.

you still haven't given each other any personal information as of yet, because you were still iffy on letting him in, however, little things that wouldn't give you away were for sure thrown into the conversation. you loved this feeling. not a care in the world. you and this person flirted back and forth, no repercussions, and you didn't know each other. all you had was the same interest and playful flirt banter. at that moment, you didn't give a damn about anything in the world.

you however, don't reveal to captain apple that you were going on a date tonight. you never questioned why you didn't tell him, as you felt that may give away a part of you if you did. you felt wrong about it, but it didn't matter. it was just you and him. he didn't know about you at all. all he knew is that you liked space, you act like a baby sometimes(which he found cute that a headstrong woman could be so soft), and you liked virtually everything he did.

so here you are.....

you stand straight up from your ride with majors. he takes you to this mom and pop shop that gideon had texted you the address of, and it was quaint. the atmosphere was sweet, and to be honest, completely out of your ordinary. you enjoyed how humble it had felt.

as you softly close the door gideon waves at you, and you walk towards the booth, waving back and greeting the waitress who came up towards you to welcome you in.

“i’m so glad you could make it!” gideon beams as he nods gently, sliding the menu in front of you. you nod at him, staring at the coffee stained, and sticky menu from yesterdays maple syrup. “what do you like to eat here?” you inquire, swiping through the menu, your foot tapping quietly amongst the wood of the chair. “i like their steak and potatoes” gideon hums, staring into the menu, stealing glances at you when he had the chance to.

perfect eyes, perfect lips, gorgeous face, hair done beautifully. he could tell you put a lot of effort into this date, appearance wise. your face was dewy, your lips were glossy. . you wore your rings and your hoop earrings, you had a headband on, you wore a cute thin cashmere sweater, with dark denim jeans, with a pair of white sneakers and a caramel colored shearling jacket. you finish the look off with your black cross body minibag. gideon wore his DAA jacket, a white shirt, and black joggers with black sneakers to finish his outfit off.

you two already had your food come out, and you chit chat, talking and seeing your interests. talking about random stories you could come up and it was his turn right now,

“so like a bunch of us go to the basketball court, you know, a game or two. and we have this genius plan. you know about this app called whispr?” you shake your head, lying to him, “well it’s a website  for talking to strangers right? so we have like a plan and we try to see if anyone can match with each other since it’s got a lot of traffic right now.” you nod, meticulously following through the story, “we put a bet on it to see who could find the most guys, and who can find the least. caleb lost, because he was only able to find one guy. he put in planes or something and could not find a single person to match with.” he chuckles, taking a piece of food in his mouth as he continues, “so now he owes us lunch next week.” he says matter-o-factly.

your fingertips fight not to get on whispr to ask your mutual a question.

caleb huffs as he carries his bag out of the station. he finally had the chance to get a weekend off to see her and grandma. he had written to space baby early in the day that he may not get her messages over the weekend, after space baby pushed him to ask for time off he gained the courage, and now here he was, back home, just for a couple of days, but better than nothing.

as he rounds the corner he sees her. his beloved best friend. caleb opens his arms as he waits for her to rush to him. she  was standing to the side, holding a handmade sign with his named scrawled across in black and blue with some colorful art around it. it was slightly bent from her grip. she was all smiles, and when her eyes connect with caleb her eyes widen, and something in his chest tightened, caught somewhere between relief and that old familiar aching he never could quite grasp.  she looked the same and somehow different… like dressed up in something new. caleb exhaled a laugh as their body connects, trying to keep his heart steady.

“caleb! i’m so happy you’re here.” she cries out, her hands gripping his jacket. caleb placed his hands on her head, rubbing it softly and closing his eyes, relishing in her touch. as she pulls away she wraps her arms around caleb and pulls him down, kissing his cheek again. 

this was going to be a long weekend for him. 

your eyes dart to your phone, as gideon stepped away to go to the bathroom, and you go to whispr,

captain apple: just got home, how you doin, space baby? space baby: i’m good. can we talk? captain apple: i’ve got people over. can we do it in like 5? space baby: take your time!

you stand up and pay for the meal before starting towards the entrance. gideon walks out of the bathroom and spots you walking out, walking towards you, “oh hey! are you okay?” you give him a nod, your smile faltering, as you place your hand on the glass doors. “i’m sorry, gideon. i’m just not.. interested.” you mumble, half apologising as you step outside, reading to go to the station.

captain apple: hey what’s up? you okay? space baby: are you able to call me? weird, i know captain apple: i can, yeah, as long as you’re comfortable with it.

your heart was in your throat, and you pursed your lips as majors drove you around linkon. your fingers shiver as they go to tap the call button on the top right. if your hunch was right, then you could maybe rest easy. if your hunch was wrong– well, this is a story for another day.

the app makes a silly noise as it calls captain apple, and you almost choke as the line dies, following by a soft- but contorted,-- “hello?” 

-

..

..

..

your eyes open, and you shake your head, confused at what just happened. you look around, and you’re in the back of the car with majors. you seemed to have arrived in the station to take you back to skyhaven. you jump, your phone flying towards your face. you go to check whispr

captain apple: hey what’s up? you okay? space baby: are you able to call me? weird, i know captain apple: aw i’m sorry space baby, i’m really busy this weekend, it’ll have to be another day. are you okay with that?

you blink at your screen. were you just imagining the phone call in your head? you were a bit too stunned to speak, or text back so you check your caller id and there was no call attempt. you check whispr again and no message you’d just imagine in your head was there, so you turn your phone off, and get out of the car with majors who helps take you to the terminal.

you were confused at yourself. where did that sudden thought and pace come from? you then remember that you had a good habit of piecing things together faster than some, and that may be what was going on. you started to feel an itch that needed to be scratched. captain apple said something eerily similar to what gideon had told her, and if that’s who she thinks it is then she may just have a chance after all. but something holds you back from texting him. from confronting him. you couldn’t tell what it was for the life of you. 

as you snap back to reality you sigh, turning to your chauffeur and asking him to take you to a district in linkon. you felt a pit in your stomach as you look out of the window and watch the city go by. 

caleb felt dread bubbling in his stomach as he flips his phone over. he didn’t want to deny space baby a call, because he wanted to speak with her for the first time, but he hadn’t seen her in so long. he was so torn between her, space baby, and you. but she was above everyone. she was his #1, and he had to show that. 

after she walked with him throughout the city, and got late night groceries, they’re sitting in her kitchen, as she reads out a book for him and he simmers the dinner he was cooking up they make small talk, catching up on the rather mundane life that they both lead. he fills her in on the whole issue with maverick, and she tells stories about her adventures with wanderers and everything she had do deal with thus far. he dares not mention space baby or this girl he’s been having his eye on, because he was afraid. maybe afraid of what she had to say. afraid the one person he’s come to protect and be here for his whole life would shun him. as he sees it at the very moment, nobody mattered but her. in the back of his mind it felt wrong— but nobody knew him like she did. a few chit chats with space baby in his time of need won’t suddenly change the hierarchy of his life. 

“you’ve been spacing out a lot, what’s going on?” she squeaks, her arm snaking around his biceps as he finishes putting their plate together. caleb fixes her plate then places it in front of her to eat. calebs thoughts drown the world out, but in a quick moment he’s paying attention to her, his body betraying his thoughts, “im alright! the ride here was just tiring.” and it was, so he didn’t quite feel as bad when fabricating the truth. she would take his response and roll with it, continuing her tirade of the wanderers and the people she’s had the chance to meet and hang with. it seemed as if his life was out of her mind, as she never dared ask about anything on him. whether he finds comfort in her lack of enthusiasm of his personal life felt like a curse and a prayer was up in the air , because she’d be worried about him, and he didn’t want her to worry her pretty little head about him. but enjoying some company that understood him was also good. maybe that’s a good thing he has space baby to talk to. she seemed to be understanding at least. 

they sit across from each other and watch a film together, crying in laughter when something funny happens, her crying like a cute baby when something that tugged on her heartstrings came on. he finally felt at home. he thanked his friend for convincing him to see her. the endless work and extra amount applied by you had did a number on him, and he knew you were just trying your best, so he never held it against you, but he was truly happy out of work for once.

he couldn’t resist but to peek at his phone as he sees her purring to sleep. he clicks on whispr and sees space baby online, tapping a message to her, seeing as she didn’t respond to his previous msg

captain apple: sorry about that. i hope you’re not mad at me  

you look down at your phone, and you notice the message. you sat in a dingy bar with majors as you drink away. it was if a switch had flipped. you couldn’t stop your stomach from feeling achy and you figured the drink could alleviate your sudden stomach pains. as you stare at your phone you start to type words, as best as you can perform

space baby: you’re okay. not mad, just sad.... id like to meet you.... ive been thinking about you more than i thought and i think id like to see you if youre okay with that

you turn your phone back down, and stare up at majors who was enjoying a glass of water. you figured as much, as he was the designated driver– literally. “majors.. why does dating and love suck so bad?” you cry to him, your head collapsing on his shoulder. he stays quiet before sighing and flicking your forehead. 

he’d been there for countless of men that were around you, and he would be there for more. “it requires you to let your walls down miss.” he calls for your name, and you perk up, “but what if it’s complicated?” you mumble, staring real fucked at the drink your hand held, “real love is complicated, but it can also be sweet if you allow it. you just don’t allow it– you are too quick to jump ships, miss.” you sigh and put your hand in your head, contemplating what you should do. you definitely have to apologize to gideon for killing that date, but you couldn’t in good conscious, entertain that date knowing you were pining for caleb even if you did know what came with the territory. 

you finish your last glass. you were in a deep conversation about life with majors until you decided to call it a night and get in your car. you stumble into it as you grab your phone. you peek at the whispr notification and rapidly click it.

you look down at the very bottom of your conversation and you read:

“captain apple has unmatched and unadded you!” 

your stomach turned for the worse. was your message too forward? well, fuck! doesn’t matter now! 

you lay in your car and all you could feel was your face getting warm and your cheeks feeling even hotter. as you open your eyes the rush of tears come out of your eyes. blame the alcohol, but one thing is for certain; you hadn’t cried like this in a long time.

if you wish to be tagged, let me know in the comms, and i will add. thanks! love ya xo

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ! - @mcdepressed290, @young-adult-summer, @unstablemiss, @britishfailure, @caramelizedpopcirn, @velvtcherie, @lonelylandofan , @llamabois , @i-messed-up-big-time , @mysticcollectionvoid, @iamawkwardandshy, @auraficial, @mxkvlio, @mysticcollectionvoid,

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Rotten Apples, part 10

masterlist , series masterlist , ao3 link

part one , part two , part three , part four , part five , part six , part seven , part eight , part nine

18+ MINORS DNI

pairing: caleb x non!mc reader

synopsis: your relationship with caleb is on the rocks. he talks you out of accepting a job. something bad happens.

word count: 10.5k words

warnings: slightly proofread! i wrote this in one sitting ... don't judge too hard

author's note: hi! thank you so much for being patient with me! part 10 is a little ... yeah. i hope you enjoy it regardless !!

content warning: angst, mentions of death, self blaming, loathing, syringe/drugging

my rotten apples <3 : @militaryapple , @kebarney , @pinkismyfavcolor , @romils , @erisnxxi , @rik0shii , @reni502 , @spacehopper27 , @llamabois , @likesvader , @pandoras-rabbit , @princessfruit , @lukassafespace , @jexireads , @etsuniiru , @tinnyrabbit , @orianakira , @xiaorixx , @beomluvrr , @sanzy4 , @vickykazuya , @blcknebula , @sleepydang , @flamedancer13 , @gojosbedwarmer , @silmeria-lafleur , @ikiru-wa , @animecrazy76 , @fealy , @i-messed-up-big-time , @motheraiya55 , @vvonunie , @1uv4jiya , @yuuuumii , @okumurarinsbabe , @mcdepressed290 , @luleck , @sanzy4 , @lucifers-silhouette , @crazygirl3001 , @april-likes-smut , @kazbrkker , @l1ttlebabyapple , @writersandroses , @kookie-my-little-sunshine , @curryexpress , @earthykitsunesrain , @raining4food , @chaoticbardlady99 , @young-adult-summer

want to be added to the taglist? click here!

Things weren’t the same after the wedding.

The next morning, the two of you acted as if nothing had happened when your parents came back from their getaway. Their cheery smiles were met by shiny yet fake grins, you and Caleb being affectionate and in love. They made endless comments about how the two of you looked so good together, that your mother was always rooting for you and Caleb to get together as teens and cried about it when he died (he explained that his death was fake for DAA reasons, your parents didn’t press further into the matter).

They offered for the two of you to stay another night, to spend some time in Linkon together and visit the places you loved as a kid. Caleb knew you hated the idea by the way your voice went up an octave. He effortlessly made an excuse that you agreed to come with him to a Farspace Event, that it was unavoidable as a Colonel and his trusty translator.

So, they waved you away and the two of you kept up the facade that you are a couple in love, who cannot keep their hands off of each other, and watched as the image of your parents disappeared from the train’s window.

As soon as they were gone, you dropped the facade and put your headphones on, drowning out the outside world while you nursed a headache from the emotional stress. Caleb kept your hand in his, though, and watched as your face showed cracks for the first time that day.

It wouldn’t be the only time it happened.

To you, life had lost all of its color. Sure, you loved Caleb and wanted to continue your relationship with him. He has proven to you that he will choose you, make the time and effort to pursue you despite the people in your lives trying so hard to keep you apart.

There is still one raincloud that hangs over your head, though. It’s big and is a deep gray color, holding in all of the unanswered questions, anger, and sadness that has rooted itself inside of you. It hovers over the blooming apple tree in your heart. No fruit has come from the tree yet, its life still too young to support anymore weight than it can. 

The cloud taunts the tree. It absorbs all of the sunlight that it tries to get, forever rejected the nourishment the tree needs to thrive. It also baits the tree into thinking that it will receive water, a necessity for it to survive. It holds all of the water inside itself, refusing to let go.

The tree begins to wither. It’s once healthy branches begin to turn dry, ready to snap under the pressure or from a forceful gust of wind.

Life at home was fine. You and Caleb remained together, usually opting to spend the night in his apartment instead of yours. You went about your day as usual, translating important documents and even occasionally being called upon to translate live for a high ranking official’s mission. The routine became monotonous, though.

You wake up beside Caleb and share a peck on the lips before getting ready for the day. He made breakfast while you made the bed and cleaned up any messes either of you made the previous night. You stood next to each other while you brushed your teeth. Caleb changed into his Colonel’s uniform while you slipped on one of your office outfits, your own uniform as Caleb likes to call it. You help him with his tie while he pushes your hair out of your face and flattens out the wrinkles of your shirt.

It’d be quiet while the two of you got ready. Usually, you’d be asking Caleb about his plans for the day and you’d share yours. The two of you would share hundreds of happy kisses and pecks on the cheek, always trying to sneak another one in before you have to leave. Now, though, the rooms are filled with a deafening silence, the echoes of your last giggles and shared whispers vanishing from existence.

Once at work, you’d part ways with a small wave, going through the front doors while he parked the car and went through his own entrance. When the two of you left for the day, he would pick you up right outside the building’s doors and drove to whoever’s apartment was called upon that day.

On the weekends, days that you had off, you would run out for groceries while he handed any Colonel business that needed his attention. Your phone dinged throughout the day, texts from Caleb asking you where you are and what you’re doing littering your phone screen. You always answered truthfully but your messages were dry, lacking any excited exclamation marks or funny emojis that would make the two of you giggle later that night.

While you folded laundry, your mind would drift out into space, the insecure thoughts from before floating into your consciousness, your fingers tightly gripping Caleb’s weathered DAA shirt.

The cloud that hangs above your head grows.

Some days, Caleb would stop by the translators sector just to see the smile on your face, but it was nowhere to be seen, your face stoic while you typed away on your computer. When your gazes met, your smile only lasted for a couple of seconds before it vanished, your boss stacking a tall pile of papers onto your desk.

You began to bring work home. Once your boss caught wind of your relationship with Caleb, they thought it would be poetic justice (or just plain bullying) to give you some more work for dating far above your rank and importance. Funnily enough, you began to miss Darryl and the shit he used to give you about being late. Caleb’s face always fell when you got into his car. His eyes would immediately latch onto the papers in your hands, watching as you struggled to piece together the dialect of a language you aren’t used to.

Caleb knew that those nights would end with you working until the moon is about to leave the night sky. He stayed up with you, though, and fell asleep with his chin on your shoulder while you sat on his lap. The low light of the lamp was enough to illuminate the page. You scribbled the deciphered language onto a blank page and yawned throughout the night, mentally exhausted beyond belief.

You weren’t too mad about the workload. It helped you avoid having tough conversations with Caleb. Instead, you helped him learn new words in languages he can barely understand, speaking to him in full sentences while he tried his best to ask you where the library is. It kept things lighthearted despite the two of you knowing that the current solution is a bandaid over a bullet hole.

“Do you want me to take the leftovers?” Your co-worker, Alivia, asks one day.

You stare at the box in front of you. Inside sits countless of papers and documents that are blacked out with only a few words here and there to decipher. A task like this would take you a week to complete and that’s is you pulled all nighters and lost a few hours of sleep.

A break, though? It sounds nice.

“That would be amazing, actually,” you breathe out, already feeling the weight and stress from Oliver’s last minute assignment slip off of your shoulders.

“Of course! You deserve a break too. It’s unfair how you always get the short end of the stick,” Alivia swipes the box off of your desk, placing it on her own. She glances at the clock on her desk and looks back to you. “Go home. I’ll cover you if he says anything. Just go and get some rest this weekend, okay?”

You nod, a genuine smile spreading across your face, and gather your belongings. There’s only a few more hours left of the work day but a break would be everything and more. Without looking back, you rush out of the doors and into the cool air.

The sky is dark, a rainstorm slowly coming in. The weather has been so unpredictable lately. Some days it is bright and sunny with high temperatures and the next it is thundering and raining, threatening to down the floating city. The wind chills your skin. You hug your jacket closer to your body, ready to find a taxi when your phone rings. You don’t even need to look at the caller I.D. to know who it is.

“Caleb,” you answer, teeth clattering from the cold wind, “what’s up?”

“Where are you going?” his voice is filled with concern with a hint of possessiveness. It make you shiver from just how quick he learns about your work life.

“Alivia told me to go home. I thought I’d go to your place and take a nap there. Your bed is better after all,” you add a chuckle to the end of your sentence. You know that it’ll disarm Caleb’s sudden protectiveness. You know him just as well as he knows you. “I can always go to my—”

“No! It’s okay. I could use a nap too,” Caleb chuckles over the phone but his laugh immediately dies when the door to his office opens. “What is it?” his voice is now muffled and you can hear him place the phone against the desk.

You sigh and walk away from the doors and towards the street. The phone is trapped between your ear and shoulder while you attempt to hail a taxi. Caleb’s Colonel voice comes out and you suddenly miss his happy tone. A gust of wind brushes past you, chilling you even more. Maybe this is Mother Nature’s way of telling you that you’re an ice cold bitch.

“I’ll have to see you later. I’m sorry, pretty bird,” Caleb sighs into the phone.

“That’s okay. Why don’t you bring home dinner? Let’s have a night in where we don’t do anything,” you calmly suggest, finally getting a taxi’s attention. The white car pulls up to the curb and you get inside, smiling at the driver, telling him the address.

“Are you sure? I can always cook something. Your favorite!” you hear him move things around on his desk.

“It’s okay. I’m craving that place you showed me anyways,” you shrug.

The world begins to move around you. The taxi slowly moves with traffic but you don’t care. You just need some time for yourself, to be alone and reset your body so you can get out of this funk and move on from the night of your friend’s wedding. It isn’t fair to you or Caleb to have something as silly as miscommunication hold you back from being happy together.

Well, you certainly thought it to be something you could easily get over. You never have been the best at guessing things like this.

When you enter Caleb’s apartment, your phone has been blown up with Caleb checking in on you, seeing if there was anything he can do to help you feel better or if he needed to leave work early. You texted back reassurances, the guilt of your resentment towards her and his relationship eating away at your conscience.

You laid in his bed, wearing one of his many oversized and comfortable shirts, and scrolled through your phone throughout the hours. It felt good to mindlessly scroll through stupid videos and read through peoples arguments over the stupidest things. Your mind was distracted and you didn’t think about the things that have been weighing you down.

You laugh at a video of penguins falling over. You cried at the video of a dog sitting at its owner’s grave. You save a recipe that you think Caleb would be great at making. You roll your eyes at some dude bro who thinks that a woman’s reproductive system looks like a satanic goat.

Hours pass you by and the sun sets in the distance, leaving the room in complete darkness except for the lamp that you turned on not too long ago. Its light is warm, very orange. It carries across the room, the blue light from your phone cutting through the orange with ease, the two colors splitting your face evenly. You roll to your other side in bed, plugging your phone in before it can die.

Engrossed in your own world, you don’t even notice Caleb walking inside the bedroom, already shrugging off his jacket, hanging it in the closet. He smiles at you. The sound of your quiet laughs and giggles make his heart feel full again. It brings a warmth to his chest, one he hasn’t felt in awhile, and begins to shed the skin of his Colonel persona.

“Whatcha laughin’ at, pretty bird?” Caleb asks, a smile on his face.

You gasp and sit up in bed, covering yourself with the dark gray and blue sheets of his bed. Once your eyes land on him, you relax and let out the tension that filled your lungs. Caleb laughs and slips on comfortable clothes, crossing the room and slipping underneath the covers beside you. In one fluid motion, Caleb scoops you up and onto his lap, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Ohhh, I see. You’re laughing at videos of baby animals. Very cute, very cute,” Caleb muses with a smile, nuzzling his face into the side of your neck. He gently presses kisses to your neck and you let out a quiet sigh, closing your eyes. “Did you sleep well?”

“I couldn’t,” you admit. You place your hands on top of Caleb’s, feeling all of your worries begin to slip away and out of your mind. “I think I need my boyfriend to help me.”

“Do you?” his tone is teasing yet is so smug at the same time. “Well, I’m here now aaaand I brought dinner.”

“Did you?” you ask with a smile. Caleb nods. You push him away from you and slip out of bed, the covers hindering your movement. Caleb laughs and watches as you scramble outside of the room and towards the kitchen where two white bags sit.

You open them up to reveal an immaculate sight: two big bowls of ramen accompanied by all of the side dishes imaginable. Caleb walks from behind and reattaches himself to your body. He leans into you, catching a glimpse of your smile.

For once, it’s genuine. It is the first smile, one that is real, that he has seen from you never since the wedding. A piece of him aches. He knows that you’ve been stuck on that day, that you haven’t been able to fully process or say what it is that you need and want to say. He’ll be there when you’re ready, though. He will never leave you to go through that alone, especially because some of your hidden anger is directed at him. Rightfully so, of course.

Neither of you bring it up. You eat dinner together and talk about Caleb’s day, even going as far as to see if you could translate a few documents for him one of these days.

It felt…nice. The temporarily relief from avoiding the elephant in the room. The two of you pretend it isn’t there, basking in the awkwardness of uncertainty and things left unsaid. Caleb smiles at you, you smile at him, and the two of you ignore the heavy raincloud that floats over your head. The counter you sit at looks more and more like an executioners block with the cloud ready to chop your heads off.

You watch as Caleb cleans up the dinner mess. He brushes all of the crumbs off of the counter and into the trash can, casually throwing away the plastic bags and bowls that came with the meal. You sit at the counter and watch, chin propped up on your hand as he moves around the kitchen with a relaxed grin on his face.

Guilt washes over you. His smile is so genuine, so pure and good. He’s smiling because of you and you’re sitting here pretending like you don’t want to yell and scream at him for not telling you anything. You want to grab his head and scream at him for making you feel so insignificant in the past and cry in his arms because there truly is no way for you to hate him.

All you see is man who is trying his best to play the game called life. Maybe you shouldn’t hold so much anger towards him and the people in your life. Maybe you should forgive but never forget.

“Why are you starin’ at me like that?” Caleb disappears from your vision.

You blink at nothing and feel his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you off of the stool and into his arms. You gasp and feel your legs dangle off of the ground, Caleb’s forearms wrapped around your stomach, holding you up. He leans backwards and pulls you back with him. He walks around, chuckling to himself, as you hang there, unable to do a damn thing to stop him. You cross your arms over your chest, already having accepted your fate, and watch as he carries you back to his bedroom.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Caleb kisses the back of your neck. He doesn’t give you time to answer, either, before jumping onto the bed, smushing you beneath him.

With a face full of mattress and Caleb’s full body weight keeping you trapped below him, you accept the bittersweet taste of your death: suffocation by smothering. You had a good run! You did a lot of things, which was fun, even got to date the man of your dreams for a bit there even though it has been angsty as hell so far. You wouldn’t change a thing about it!

Okay, maybe you would change a few things, but who’s really counting, anyways?

Caleb rolls onto his back, bringing you around with him. You dramatically gasp for air, body moving up down down as Caleb laughs. You place your hands on top of his and stare at the ceiling, not making an effort to move your hair out of his face.

“I’m tired,” you say. Caleb nods in agreement. “I think I’m going to sleep right here…”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. The mattress I’m on may be a bit lumpy—”

“Lumpy?!”

“—and it may smell like sweat and jet fuel—”

“Is this pick on Caleb day?”

“—but it’s comfortable enough for the night.”

“Oh, well, that’s good then,” Caleb squeezes his arms around you, literally taking the breath out of you, “because I just love it when I have my girlfriend’s hair in my face throughout the night. Truly splendid!”

You roll your eyes and try not to laugh, sucking in a deep breath when he releases you. You slip off of him and take your usual side in the bed, looking out the floor to ceiling windows. A small yawn leaves your mouth. Caleb adjusts himself behind you and pulls you close to him.

A silence finally falls between the two of you. Is it time? Are you ready to confront him? To ask him all of the questions that have died on your tongue before you got the chance to say them?

The dark rainclouds pass the windows, Caleb’s apartment building splitting the forces of nature with ease. You fixate on a particularly dark spot. It slowly passes by, taking its time to look back at you. If you didn’t know any better you’d think that a bolt of lightning would be shot at you as a punishment for all of the animosity that clings to your heart.

Caleb’s hand is warm against your skin. It stays at your stomach, gently caressing your skin, before it moves up between your breasts. He flattens his palm against your chest. He feels each and every one of your heartbeats. He feels as it quickens from his touch, giving away any kind of nonchalance you wanted to wear. His forearm remains stuck between your breasts. If he were to move his hand further up, he could choke you with ease.

“The clouds look cool,” your attempt at starting a new conversation doesn’t go unnoticed. You swallow the lump that forms in your throat. Caleb nods. You can feel his purple eyes watch you instead of the clouds. “I think you’re the one looking at me now.”

“We haven’t had much time together lately,” Caleb is quick to respond, “we’re busy people.”

“Are we?” you whisper to yourself. Caleb heard it, though. There truly is nothing you can keep from him.

A long sigh leaves his lips. You feel his forehead press into the back of your neck, his breath against your back. You shudder and place your hand on top of his. The clouds outside grow darker. Your eyes gloss over, the urge to cry hitting you like a train. You remain still, though, forever silent in your moment of doubt.

“Can we…” Caleb’s voice cracks. Your heart aches. You close your eyes, holding back frustrated tears. “Let’s not, tonight, okay? We were having such a good time.”

“Agreed,” you breathe out.

“Great,” Caleb pulls you closer to him, draping the bed’s sheets over your connected bodies.

It had been the first good night in awhile. Why would you want to spoil such a blessing with your own stupid thoughts and destructive behavior?

“It’s late, babe, let’s sleep,” your words fill in the silence. Caleb nods, yawning right on cue.

You know sleep will come easy for him with you in his arms. You also know, though, that sleep will continually tease you throughout the night, never letting you fully grasp it.

Caleb always looks stressed when he sleeps. You always thought that sleep was the great reliever, a place where every person can find solace after a long day of stress. Unfortunately for Caleb, it seems like even in sleep he cannot find peace. You can’t help but feel bad for him. He already goes through so much as the Farspace Fleet’s Colonel and deals with the undiscovered parts of the Deepspace Tunnel. You just wish that one day he will be able to sleep peacefully.

Even in the darkness of his bedroom, safely secured in his muscular arms, you can’t help but feel like Caleb is holding something back from you. The lingering feeling beckons at you, drawing you in closer and closer with the possibilities that there is an invisible barrier separating the two of you. Staring at the underlying tension in his brow makes you question what is going on inside his mind.

If you could, you would break open his skull to get to where his thoughts are hidden. You would dig through the blood and rip apart his brain, finding the locked away thoughts and memories that have been left unsaid, finally solving the mystery that keeps you up at night. You’d take away all of the bad memories and leave only the good for him to relive.

Then again, erasing someone’s memories is a cruel thing to do.

You slowly sit up in bed, his dark gray sheets pooling at your hips. Caleb immediately stirs in his sleep, eyes flying open and fixating on you. The moonlight is gentle against your skin as you gaze outside the window, curtains drawn open since you wanted to watch the clouds pass you by before you slept. There is a slight patter against the window. Raindrops collide with the reinforced glass, its quiet lullaby suddenly making you feel like you’re trapped inside a cage.

“Are you okay?” Caleb’s voice captures your attention. He remains in bed, the tips of his fingers already moving against your skin in a soothing manner.

“Yeah,” you nod, forcing a small smile onto your face, “I just woke up. Need to stretch out my body.”

Under the veil of darkness, Caleb memorizes the way your face twitches, picking up on the way your eyes remain on him despite your attention being elsewhere. There’s something in your eyes, a question that has been smothered on your tongue, hidden behind your teeth, never to escape.

Does he want to know what you’re thinking? What it is you are questioning now?

“Do you want to go for a walk?” your question surprises him.

He tilts his head back. Caleb’s purple eyes burn into yours, leaving your question unanswered. Tension slowly seeps into the air. You peel your eyes away from his and swing your legs over the edge of the bed, pushing away and heading towards the bathroom. Thunder booms from outside the window. Caleb sighs and covers his face with his hands. A quiet groan leaves his lips as he forces himself out of bed.

Ever since the wedding, things have been weird between the two of you. You had begun to pull away from him and Caleb was losing his mind, unsure of what he needed to do or say to make things right. You told him that you were fine, that you held no ill will.

Uncertainty and his fear of the unknown burned the back of his brain and it made him careless in his missions to the Deepspace Tunnel. People were injured and lives were on the line, but his mind could only think of you and the sad look that overtook your face whenever he looked away.

It’s the same look you wear on your face now. The bathroom lights are low, just barely awake as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Movement from behind you catches your attention. You look at Caleb’s reflection, watching as he settles himself against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. You suck in a breath.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Caleb’s voice has lost its rasp and the tiredness that hangs in his voice, “why are you wanting to go for a walk?”

“Can’t sleep,” you shrug nonchalantly and turn back towards the mirror, pushing your hair behind your ears and out of your face.

“What about work?”

“It’s the weekend so I’m off,” you avoid his gaze in the mirror, trying to wake up your body so it can keep up with your mind.

Caleb falls silent again. All he can bring himself to do is watch as you untangle the knots in your hair before drawing it back into a low bun, nothing special. When you turn to leave the bathroom, you turn into Caleb’s bare chest. You look up at him, noticing the shadowed bags under his eyes. You reach up and cup his cheek, the man immediately leaning into your touch.

“You should stay back and sleep,” your words are quiet.

He shakes his head. He reaches up and wraps his fingers around your wrist, pulling his face away from your touch. His touch isn’t warm but cold, his metal fingers hidden beneath its disguise. He gently kisses the palm of your hand, a gentle sigh escaping his lips. Your cheeks heat up but you fight away the feeling, not wanting him to persuade you to go back to bed, to rot next to him while you watch the clouds pass the cage that keeps you inside.

“Let’s walk,” Caleb matches your volume, his purple eyes flickering to yours before he drops your hand, turning around to get changed. You follow him, quick on his tail, and glance outside.

The rain slowly begins to pick up outside. Thunder and lighting grows closer. You approach the window, placing your hand against the chilled glass. The world below is shielding by a cloud.

“Maybe we should stay inside,” you say, eyes focused on trying to see the ground. Caleb groans, frustrated. Your body tenses and your posture stiffens. “The weather picked up.”

“Pretty bird,” you turn around and see Caleb, already in sweats and a jacket, “you just said—”

“I know, I’m sorry—”

“So you don’t want want to go on a—”

“—no we can! It’s just that the weather—”

“So now you don’t want to?”

“No! Yes! Fuck, I don’t even know anymore! Let’s go for a walk,” you push past him and reach for one of your hoodies that sits in a bag you packed not too long ago. Caleb stops you, though, and instead hands you one of his hoodies with a long sleeve shirt. You turn around and watch as he helps slip your shirt over your head, replacing it with the tight long sleeve and hoodie. Once the hood is brought over your head, his purple eyes flicker to yours.

“It’s cold,” he sharply says. He takes your hand and guides you out of the bedroom, entering the dark living room and kitchen areas. You struggle to keep up with his long strides, feet fumbling over each other. Caleb grabs an umbrella that sits by the door and exits the apartment, pulling you with him.

The small journey to the outside world is awkward and tense. Caleb’s grip on your hand is tight, annoyance prominent inside the tension in his jaw, the way it’s clenched as he guides you through his apartment building. The yellow interior lights are easy on your eyes and are dim enough to keep the outside world dark, avoiding any kind of light pollution it may have. A single person works in the lobby, sitting at the desk while you and Caleb pass to leave.

“Hey!” they call out, “The weather is pretty rough—!”

“We know!” Caleb and you bark at the person in sync.

Caleb presses the button next to the lobby door and it slides open, a gust of wind hitting the two of you just as you exit. You slip the umbrella from his hand and open it, holding it out for him. He watches you with a close eye, the wind pushing around your hair, the tip of your nose already cold. He takes the umbrella and laces your fingers with his, weathering the storm together as you male your way to a dimly lit path nearby.

You wrap an arm around Caleb’s torso and stay close to him, face smushed into his chest. Raindrops fly with the wind, smacking against the material of the umbrella. It shields the two of you the best it can. Caleb picks up his pace and you’re practically jogging at his side.

“Caleb!” you shout over the sound of rain and wind. He doesn’t look down, simply walking through the rough weather as if it’s nothing.

Just a couple meters away sits a lit gazebo that sits in the middle of courtyard that’s right beside Caleb’s building. The rows of flowers try to fight against the wind, hanging on by the strength of the plant’s stem, a few petals flying away. Once you reach the gazebo, you push away from Caleb, turning your back to him. He drops the umbrella and it slides across the floor to where your feet are.

“Tell me,” Caleb begins, his voice raised to be over the howling wind, “what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything,” you counter. The flower bushes that surround the gazebo hit and scrape against the wood. The petals threaten to fly off of the stems, getting lost in the wind. The dark rainclouds descend towards the ground, placing you and Caleb in the middle of its destructive force.

“Bullshit. There’s something going on inside that head of yours. You barely smile anymore and you always bring work home! There’s no time for us anymore!” Caleb walks closer to you. He looks at the back of your head, your hair dry and his hood damp. You don’t even turn to face him, which only annoys him some more. “We haven’t had sex—”

“So this is about sex!?” you snap, finally turning around to look at him. The wind screams from around you. “You’re worried about getting your dick wet again, right? Want me to get down on my knees and suck your dick? Will that make you feel better?!”

“No! Dammit! That’s not—” Caleb groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, “that’s not what I meant and you know it!”

“Then what is it, Caleb? Hm? Are you actually worried about me,” you poke his chest, knowingly poking the bear, “or are you just trying to cover your back so this doesn’t blow up on you at the end of the day?”

“What are you talking about?!” Caleb raises his voice to combat the thunder that sounds from around the gazebo. You roll your eyes and turn your attention to the world over his shoulder, looking at the environment get beaten up by the storm.

The dark raincloud that once hung above your head has touched land. It has finally decided that the apple tree, something that managed to grow in the rough terrain of your heart, deserves water. It deserves to have its thirst quenched, to let the cold water touch the dry, green leaves, to moisten the ground that surrounds it.

Truth and honesty are ideals that every relationship should have. It is the fertilizer within the soil that many apple trees like your own are buried in. You forgot that step, didn’t you?

“What did I do? Did Zayne say something to you at the wedding?” Caleb steps towards you but you take a step backwards, your ankle meeting the wood of the gazebo’s railing.

You scoff and look away, crossing your arms over your chest. Even the thought of looking into his eyes makes you feel nothing but dread and utter devastation. Caleb’s back stiffens. His purple eyes run up and down your body; you give him all of the telltale signs that he’s right and that you’re hiding something from him.

Caleb steps forward, trapping you. You look up at him with big and wide eyes. He’s the predator that’s just caught his prey, your pretty little face begging for mercy. He can go easy on you, sure, let you slip out of the net he’s caught you in. You can recover from your mistake by peppering kisses all over his face. He’ll forget all of the misgivings that have been through his way, he can forgive the fact that you believed something that Zayne said instead of asking him directly about it.

“What did he say?” Caleb’s voice teeters between desperation and being demanding. He lowers his head, his purple eyes training on yours with a darkness you haven’t seen before. Your body goes cold. Goosebumps scatter across your skin. “Tell me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you breathe out, your breath coming out in the form of a plume. “What Zayne said doesn’t matter.”

“Clearly, it does,” Caleb places his hands on the wooden railing behind you. His nose grazes against yours. Your breaths mix into one. You close your eyes, unable to look at him. He presses in further, his body against yours, demanding and present. “Tell me.”

“He said that you’ve been texting her the whole time,” Caleb’s body tenses against yours while you speak, “he said that I will forever be second place in your heart. That you’ll always go to her her first rather than find me. That I don’t deserve you.”

Caleb slowly draws himself away from you. His eyes go dark, cold. The space between you feels like no man’s land, a place where neither of you want to meet in the middle. His tall frame dominates yours, towering over you with ease and with an unspoken authority over you. You are at his mercy.

“Go on,” he says in a low tone.

“Zayne said he loves me. He always has. That I haven’t been able to see it because I’ve been so preoccupied with you,” you continue.

Hurt flashes across his face when you say the word love, a word that he thought he had full control over when it comes to you. Jealousy spreads across his chest. You fall silent. Thunder booms from behind you. Neither of you react. 

“What did you say back to him?” Caleb narrows his eyes at you.

“I said that him and I are alike,” you force the words to fall out of your mouth. Caleb’s eyebrow perks up. “We both love someone who will never be able to fully love us back.”

A bitter taste spreads across Caleb’s tongue. Looking down at you, he can see the defiance and hurt in your eyes. You are trying so hard to hold it together, to not cry and break from underneath the pressure. Your walls slowly reinforce themselves, the workers inside your mind resuming construction as you build them taller than you have before. They are now covered with a fresh layer of ice, closing out any warmth that you were once able to find within Caleb’s embrace.

“How about you, Caleb?” your voice is strong against the howls and cries of the wind. The screams from gusts of air don’t dissuade you. You remain strong in your path, knowing that at the end, only destruction will be left. “Is there anything that you wish to tell me?”

Caleb tears his gaze away from yours. The dark gray clouds cover the moon, taking up the entire night sky. The umbrella he brought out hits the wooden perimeter, clicking every couple of seconds, ticking away the time. He moves to the gazebo’s entrance, wanting to walk down the few steps and escape into the night, to get away from the conversation that slowly chips away at your relationship and individual sanities.

“What are you hiding from me?” you ask from behind. His broad shoulders stare at you, his back mocking. You can’t help but feel like you’re being laughed at, being teased for the way you feel. You tried to look past the revelation that Zayne gifted to you, brushing it off as nothing but a simple misdirection to throw you off your rhythm but now, standing here and watching Caleb begin to pull away from you, it feels like Zayne had been right the whole time.

You’re even second place when it comes to figuring out the truth, a third and unwanted person in a relationship that doesn’t even involve you.

“Talk to me, Caleb!” your voice is drowned out by thunder. Caleb turns around and his purple eyes immediately go to your fists that are balled at your sides. Your nails bury themselves into the palms of your hands. The pain is a nice distraction from the confusion in your mind. The thunder sounds like bombs are being dropped. “I told you the truth, why can’t you do the same?!”

“That’s not fair,” Caleb shakes his head, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

“Isn’t it?” you huff out a breath of air, crossing the distance to stand in front of him. “Do you know what it is like to sleep at your side, Caleb?” your voice cracks, “Do you know what it is like to have to hold you at night when you have another nightmare?”

“Pretty bird,” Caleb breathes your name out like it is a prayer.

“You cry in your sleep, Caleb. You cry and you hold onto me as if someone is going to take me away from you! You always avoid answering me question when I ask you what’s wrong and you never take me up on your offer to talk about it!” Tears begin to flow down your cheeks, bottom lip trembling. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head! I don’t know how I can help you or what I need to do to stop the nightmares! I hate seeing you in pain! I hate hearing you cry as soon as I leave the bed!”

Your hands fly to your face and your fingers begin to furiously wipe your tears away. Caleb reaches out to console you but you smack his hands away, placing a good amount of distance between the two of you.

“You cry out her name, Caleb!” you scream the words over the wind and thunder. Lightning flashes across the night sky, thunder immediately cracking after. The loud boom makes your ears ring. “You cry out her name when I’m right next to you! That’s how I know I’m second place! That’s how I know you are hiding something from me! And it fucking hurts to know that I will never be able to see that side of you. I feel so helpless when it comes to you, Caleb! You have all of the answers when it comes other than me and yet I barely know a thing about what happened!”

“I…” Caleb stammers, his voice falling silent. “I can—”

“Explain?” you cut him off. He blinks at you, his eyes now glossy. “Go ahead, Caleb. Explain. I’ll wait.”

“You know I can’t,” Caleb’s voice is low and is filled with such shame that it makes you want to scream and cry.

The raincloud has drowned the tree. Its soil, which was once too dry, is now diluted from the weight of history and purposefully hidden memories. The water level rises above the ground. The tree is now submerged beneath the water, unable to catch a break in the unpredictable weather cycle.

You suck in a breath, the back of your hand flying to your mouth, covering it. Hidden secrets and questions are now out in the open. They taunt Caleb, snickering at the pain that flashes across his chest. He stares at the back of your head, watching as your shoulders slump over, your body succumbing to the sadness that weighs you down.

“Maybe we…”you breathe out. Caleb’s eyes fill with tears. He clears the distance between you and takes your hands in his, shaking his head.

“Don’t…don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Caleb silences you. the man reaches up and wipes away the tears that fall from your eyes. He shakes his head but you nod, looking into his irritated eyes.

“I need a break,” you finish your thought.

“No, you don’t. We can work through this!”

“I’m tired Caleb,” you sigh.

“I am too but that’s okay!”

“I need to clear my head.”

“Tell me what to do then. Tell me what exactly you need me to do for you to come back to me. What is it? Please, pretty bird, I…I can’t be away from you!”

“Caleb,” you stop him. You hold his hands and squeeze them, unable to bring yourself to look at him. Not now, at least. “I need to be alone.”

It looks like Caleb was just shot ten times and was told to walk it off. He has been shot, has survived an explosion, has been stabbed before, sliced from another man’s knife while working. He was gone through watching his fellow soldiers fall, their planes being shot down during a dog fight. He has been experimented on, picked apart by Ever and Professor Lucius. He has had his memories ripped away from him, hidden in the depths of his mind, and is clinging to the remnants of what is left.

And yet you wanting to be alone, to be away from him, is the one thing that hurts the most.

A single tear rolls down his cheek, eyes strained and hands holding onto yours like you are about to step out of his life forever.

“I-I can’t,” Caleb stammers. His trembling voice pierces your heart.

Are you a bad person? It sure feels like you are. How could you put him through so much turmoil? And yet, how dare he hide his past life with her from you? He has had the chance to explain, to tell you why they will forever be connected until the end of their lives, but he hasn’t. Caleb has remained silent, only offering apologies and pleas for you to not leave him instead of an explanation.

Perhaps truth and honesty are not fertilizer. Maybe they are sharp axes ready to chop the tree down, to destroy all of the progress that you have made. It is a weapon that only threatens to smother the spark that once shined so brightly between you and Caleb.

“A break can be a good thing,” you try to reason with him, “gives us time to realize what is important in our lives. It can give us direction—”

“You are the most important thing in my life,” Caleb interrupts. He captures your cheeks between his hands, making you look up at him. “Don’t do this…please. At least stay the night, sleep on it, and we can talk about it in the morning, okay?”

Caleb’s purple eyes burn into yours. The wind pushes his hair out of his face, his lips slightly chapped from the wind. His cheeks are stained from tears just like yours and his hands tremble against your skin. You slowly inhale, the ice cold wind helping cool your body down from the heat of your anger. A lump forms in your throat.

“Okay,” you breathe out, nodding, “I need to be alone, though. I’ll stay out here for just a bit longer.”

“I’ll stay with you—”

“Just go back inside, Caleb,” you pull away from him and cross your arms over your chest, stepping away. You wipe away your tears, knowing that what you are telling him is nothing but a white lie, “I’ll be up there soon.”

You need to do what you do best. Run away. Hide. Pretend as if your world isn’t falling apart from around you and give yourself the time to be a broken person before returning to the face of the earth.

And Caleb? Caleb is the fool who believes you.

He comes up from behind and hug you. It’s a small gesture that rips your heart apart. It makes you drive the knife into his chest even deeper, the hilt of the blade now pressed against his chest.

Then he’s gone. He walks through the ravenous rain on his own and even left the umbrella behind for you to use. Just as he steps through the apartment doors, you stop a cab and get inside, heading for your home.

Bzzrt. Bzzrt. Bzzrt.

Your phone shimmies across the top of your desk. You stare at it, eyes tired with purple eye bags sunken into your skull. The phone stops for a brief moment. A sigh exits your mouth, closing your eyes. The buzzing begins again.

You know exactly who the messages are from. You know exactly what it is that they say and you don’t even want to waste the time and energy to check. You’ll get the same messages later tonight as well then the whole process will repeat itself in the morning.

You would be lying to yourself, though, if you said you didn't miss the way he hugged and kissed you in the morning.

Caleb was not handling the break well, like, at all. He was a mess. He knew that he shouldn’t have left your side that night. A piece of him know that you were going to run away, just like you did in high school and at the wedding. You would call it a calculated retreat whereas Caleb would call it a surrender.

You avoided him at work, which he respected. It didn’t stop him, though, from driving behind the bus you took to and from work, watching as you moved in and out of your apartment so he knows that you’re safe. Caleb also kept tabs on you at work, watching you through the security cameras as you smiled and laughed with other people. People who aren’t him.

Caleb passed you in the hallways of the Farspace Fleet’s Administrative building. Your eyes always met, even if it were just for a second, and it gave Caleb the motivation he needed to stay string, to let you come to him. He knows that if he were to bombard you, it’d only make you want to run further away, back into Linkon where he lives.

Caleb used up all of your sticky notes during the time you stayed away from him. He left you notes on your desk, telling you that you looked beautiful that day and that he misses you. Some of them even asked if you were ready to talk to him, to have dinner and let him explain what he’s been trying to protect you from.

You always said no. A simple text that ended with his colorful sticky notes being crushed under your fist, tossed into the trash for the janitor to take out later in the night. 

It’s okay, though, if it is space you need, he will give you space. If you need to take a moment for yourself and realize that he has all of the answers you need, the truth that you crave, then so be it. He will not be the one who stops you.

Well, that is what he told himself to feel better about the whole situation.

He knows that it is not fair to you to keep you in the dark about his and her’s past with Ever. The wounds, though, still feel fresh to him from his early childhood. He works with one of the men in charge of his experimentation, playing a game of cat and mouse to see who can outmaneuver the other. It’s a game that, quite frankly, he’s grown tired of but knows that the end will never come. 

Caleb wants to tell you all about it. He wants to unload the weight of turning you away from the darkest parts of his past and mind. He also doesn’t want you to try and carry that burden with him, to try and alleviate some of the pain that heel feels everyday. He already lives with the constant remind of his metal arm, his bones forever trapped underneath the layers of wires and metal. He has sacrificed so much already to not let the professor and Ever win…it’s why he won’t let you near it.

It pains him to know that you are out in the world and are completely on your own. He should be there to help you, to stop you from making any mistakes. It’s why he has waited so long for you. He let the days pass him by, allowing time to slip through his fingers.

He acted like he was fine, that he was okay. He pretended that he got a full night’s worth of sleep even though he stared out the window, hoping that you would walk through the doors at any moment.

He stares at you through the CCTV footage, wondering if you have come to realize that you hold the leash that’s connected to his dog collar. You stand from your desk, phone in hand, and exit the translator’s offices. He follows you throughout the building. You cross down a few hallways, staring at your phone screen. You press the button to an elevator and step inside.

Caleb sits up at his desk. The see through tablet remains in his hands as he stands. He slowly walks towards his office door, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes as he clicks through the multiple different feeds, trying to find you. It is only when he notices that you have come to his floor that he realizes that you are coming to find him.

The Colonel rushes to his desk, placing the tablet in the top drawer of his desk. He places his cap on his head, fixing his ling jacket in the reflection of the window, making for sure everything is in place and is perfect because he refuses to give you anything less than. Not anymore, at least.

There is a knock at his office door. He clears his throat and snaps his fingers, a hologram projection of the Deepspace Tunnel flashing to life. He glances towards the door and tightens his tie one last time.

“Come in,” he beckons with a slightly gentler tone than usual.

Caleb does not look in your direction, instead focusing on the projection in front of him. When the door closes and he hears the click of your shoes grow closer to him, he turns, taking in your tired appearance. He opens his mouth to say something but can’t bring himself to say it. He knows that you have already chastised yourself for it. There is no need for him to add to that grievance.

“Hi, pretty bird,” Caleb is the first to speak. You lean against his desk, looking around the clean office. When your eyes meet his, your body relaxes before tensing up once again.

“Caleb,” you breathe out, crossing your arms over your chest, “you need to stop texting me.”

“Why? I want to make for sure that—”

“I”m okay?” you finish his sentence for him. He nods and inches closer to you. He reaches out, his gloved hand diverting at the last second to rest on the desk beside you. You shudder from his sudden closeness, his familiar cologne disarming your weapons. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m afraid that I will never not worry about you,” Caleb whispers. He looks down, noticing the way you hold onto yourself for dear life. His eyes flicker to yours, leaning in. He reaches up and grazes your cheek with his gloved fingers.

You suck in a breath. His touch is electrifying against your skin, igniting flames under your skin, burning with the desire to hold him in your arms and to cry together. 

“The General offered me a job,” your words cause his hand to move away from your face, “I think I’m going to take it.”

Caleb knows exactly what the General’s job is. He has been granted permission, alongside Ever, to meet with other countries and discuss the Toring Chip. Many of the countries they are going to speak the languages that you just happen to know and are proficient in. If Caleb didn’t know any better, he would have thought that the General specifically made the job positing with you in mind after the peace summit.

The trip is going to take approximately four months to complete, spending a hefty amount of time in every country, meeting with their leaders and the highest ranking officials in their army. There was sure to be talks outside of the Toring Chip. Minerals, weapons, peace treaties, and alliances are sure to be talked about with you in the center of it all. 

Caleb offered to go. He immediately contacted the General and told him that if he needed an extra man, that he is there to help. The General laughed and told him not to worry, that he already has plenty of men coming alongside him and to focus on the Deepspace Tunnel instead of unimportant politics.

Chills run down Caleb’s spine. You look up at him with a determined look in your eyes but Caleb knows that there is something inside your consciousness that is pushing you to run away from him. He wishes that you would have looked the other way when the General offered you the position.

“It’s a great opportunity for me, Caleb,” you breathe out, already sensing the underlying anxiety that forms in the back his mind. “It will give them the chance to see that I am more than a desk job…”

“You don’t need their validation for that,” Caleb quickly counters. “You are more than this entire building. You’re better than them. You don’t need to prove anything.”

“What else can I do? It’s either translating for the Fleet or teaching languages in school,” you suck in a breath, your tone sharp, “I’m stuck where I am and this is going to get me out of it.”

“Then let me take care of you. Stay with me, don’t go with them,” he places his hands on your waist.

“You’re acting like I’m going to be gone forever,” you let out a small laugh, placing your hands on his chest, “it’s just four months.”

“A lot can happen in four months,” Caleb’s gaze burns into yours.

“What are you so afraid of?” your question is bold and daring. “Don’t lie. I think we’ve done enough of that lately.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Caleb breathes the words out as if they are powerful enough to hurt you. “I think that if you accept the job, it will worsen our relationship and push us further apart than we already are.”

His words, while sharp, hold his truth. A piece of you knows that what he’s saying is true, that if you were to leave your relationship won’t recover. The space would have become too much. The distance just unbearable.

Are you doing this on purpose? Are you purposefully ruining the only good thing in your life?

You swallow the rest of your spit in your mouth, looking up at Caleb. He sighs and presses his forehead against yours. You close your eyes, taking in his closeness and the way his skin feels against yours. Caleb leans in and pecks your mouth, his lips lingering for a few seconds.

“I love you. Please, don’t go,” Caleb whispers.

Silence fills the room. He silently draws in a breath, eyes closed as he waits for your answer.

“Okay,” you whisper, “I won’t go. For us.”

A smile instantly spreads across Caleb’s lips. He pulls you off of the desk and into his arms, kissing the top of your head as you bury your face into his chest. His heartbeat comes to a slow, the adrenaline rush leaving his body. You relax into him, missing how tight his embraces always are. He pulls away and looks down at you, cupping your cheeks between his hands.

“Thank you,” Caleb says. You nod in return, a small smile forming on your face before it disappears.

“I should go tell him my decision, then,” you peel away from Caleb, your hands lingering on each other. He nods and watches as you move back to the door, an unsettling feeling resting in the back of his mind the further you get from him. “Can I…come over tonight?” You ask as you reach the door. “We have a few things to talk about.”

“Of course,” Caleb nods, “I’ll make your favorite for dinner.”

“That sounds nice,” your smile turns real. It makes Caleb’s heart skip a beat. You open up the door to his office and leave, heading down the hall from which you came.

Caleb is happy that you agreed to stay. He will make for sure that life is not boring for you, to help you shimmy up the ladder among your fellow translators. Whatever it is that he needs to do, he’ll make sure it happens. He will do anything for you and your happiness, even if it means blackmailing a few Fleet officers to make for sure you get the best jobs possible instead of being stuck at your desk.

His skin tingles. A sharp pain flashes through his modified arm. His purple eyes move back to the door, the General’s voice creeping into his head. He remembers his phone call with the high ranking official, trying to weave through the conversation to find what it is he needs.

“We’ll take good care of her,” the General told him from over the phone before he hung up.

We’ll take good care of her.

Caleb freezes.

The Toring Chip…four months…different countries…Ever has different buildings in different countries, Caleb knows this first hand from being one of the professor’s favorites.

The job targeted you.

He stares at the door, his heart beginning to pound inside his chest. He forces his feet to move, rushing towards the door. He bursts through, catching the attention of a few adjuncts and lower ranking officers. He stops a secretary from walking by, looking down at them.

“The General. Is he on location today?” Caleb demands, his purple eyes cold and dark.

“Y-Yes! I think his plane is about to take off!” the woman quickly responds, scared by Caleb’s dark demeanor.

The Colonel doesn’t waste another second. He rushes towards the elevator, pressing the button that leads to the tarmac on the top of the building where the General and other officials come in and out of. His boot taps against the floor. The elevator smells of your perfume. It only makes him more anxious.

The elevator doors slide open, a gust of wind hitting Caleb’s face as he bursts out of the door. He shields his eyes from the glaring sun, noticing that there are one too many clouds in the sky for comfort. He rushes across the black top, the soles of his shoes scraping against the coarse material.

Am aircraft’s engine roars to life. The machine whirrs, huffing out bursts of hot air and exhaust from the engines. The sound captures Caleb’s attention. His eyes focus on a few dark figures inside the aircraft. Professor Lucius stands inside, leaning into his cane. On either side of him stands two Fleet soldiers, guns in their hands. They look down at the aircraft’s open door.

You and the General stand in front of each other. Your back is to Caleb. The Professor’s eyes move to focus on the Colonel, who stands from across the tarmac. A sick smirk spreads across his face. The General smiles at you, though, and he nods, turning around before moving back up the ramp of the plane. You turn around.

Your eyes meet Caleb’s. You are just about to take a step towards him when the two soldiers who stand beside Professor Lucius move. 

They walk towards you.

Caleb begins to run, his feet slamming against the ground. He watches as your face contorts from pain, your hadn’t shooting up to your neck where a syringe was just plunged into your skin. You wobble around, looking at the soldiers before circling around once again.

Caleb screams your name but it is muffled out from the screams of jet engines and planes. Your vision blurs, hand extended out, reaching for him, before your world turns to black, body going limp. A solider picks you up and carries you inside of the plane. The aircraft’s door slowly closes, clicking shut just as Caleb reaches its vicinity.

The aircraft pulls out of its spot. It rolls down the black asphalt, pulling away from Caleb. The plane picks up speed and lifts into the air just as it reaches the edge of the building. Caleb sprints after it, fighting against the gusts of wind from the engines. He uses his Evol to glide through the air, reaching out for you and the plane. He flies across the sky, a mere black speck compared to the aircraft.

But it’s too late. You and the aircraft are out of his reach, disappearing behind fluffy white clouds, out of Caleb’s reach.

please drop a like, reblog, & comment!! i love see what you all have to say <3

[i-messed-up-big-time]

after school~~~~they keep fighting in my head!!!!!!🐟💥💢🍎

[i-messed-up-big-time]

CW: non-mc!reader, high school au, angst, unrequited love, hurt/no comfort, insecurity, jealousy, self-hatred, written in first pov, ventfic, unreliable narrator, cliche plot WC: 4.0k

Average. Ordinary. Second best. The plain Jane.

That’s what I am, what I’ve always been. The person who blends into the background, who smiles when I should, laughs when it’s expected.

But never stands out.

So it’s the question of the century: how did I even end up being friends with her? She’s everything I’m not—charismatic, funny, effortlessly pretty, the kind of girl who walks into a room and immediately captures everyone’s attention. The apple of his eye.

I can still remember the first time I met her. It was in the third row, right next to the window. I was awkward, unsure of myself, quietly existing in the corners of the classroom, trying not to draw attention to the fact that I was just another face in the crowd. And then she sat next to me. She was my seatmate, so I guess it was inevitable.

At the time, I couldn’t help but wonder if she had been assigned to me out of pity. After all, who would choose someone like me to be their friend? But she didn’t need a reason. She just…liked me and that was enough.

Initially, I thought it was some kind of fluke. She smiled at me, made small talk, and suddenly, I wasn’t alone in that space. Slowly, I found myself pulling away from the walls I had built around me, allowing her to see parts of me I kept hidden. 

It wasn’t pity in the end. She genuinely wanted to be friends. She didn’t have to choose me, but she did anyway.

Then he entered the picture. Caleb, he was just a name at first, the guy everyone in school seemed to talk about. Star player of the high school basketball team, a natural athlete with a reputation for being both skilled and effortlessly charming. I remember hearing about him long before I saw him. People always flocked to him like he was some kind of magnet.

But when I finally saw him for the first time, it felt like everything seemed to slow down. He wasn’t just a name anymore; he was real. You couldn’t miss him from the way his tall frame moved through the hallways with confidence and the easy smile that never seemed forced. He was the perfect definition of the boy next door. It was clear he wasn’t just someone special to the school, but to her too.

She practically glowed when he was around. I didn’t need to see the way they exchanged jokes or how he called her “pipsqueak” to know she’d known him longer than I had. She was comfortable with him more than I could ever be. And I…well, I was just the audience, watching them from the sidelines. 

It wasn’t like Caleb ever really saw me, at least not in the way I wanted. But then again, he wasn’t the type to make anyone feel invisible. We were both part of her world, after all. So, every once in a while, he’d acknowledge me in passing—small, casual things like a wave in the hall or a brief nod when he saw me sitting next to her at lunch. 

Nothing that stood out. Nothing that made my heart race. But it was enough to make me feel like, maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t entirely forgotten. Maybe he noticed me because he noticed her, and I was simply there, part of the package.

Yet in the end, that’s all it was. A fleeting acknowledgement that never lasted long. Two sides of a perfect coin. Best friend since childhood. 

This is their story, not mine.

—

The school was decorated for Valentine’s Day, with the usual red hearts, streamers and cheesy banners hanging from every corner. It wasn’t anything extravagant, just enough to make the day feel special. It wasn’t a day I particularly looked forward to, but there was something about the way the entire school buzzed that made everything feel a little bit different.

Students milled around, exchanging cards, gifts, and the usual classroom chocolates. I couldn’t help but watch, half-detached as the holiday played out around me. 

I wasn’t expecting anything. Not really. After all, it was just another Valentine’s Day. Nothing more, nothing less.

Then Caleb appeared.

When he finally approached, I saw that familiar smile already on his face. Even in the crowded hallway, he had a way of drawing attention. He reached her first, his grin widening as he handed her a box of chocolates.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said, his tone warm, like this was second nature to him.

She laughed, taking the box without hesitation. “Thanks, Gege. You always know the best ones.”

And just like that, it was the same as always. A tradition between them, something unspoken yet expected, like a habit they had no reason to break.

As she tucked the box under her arm, I noticed her phone swinging gently in her hand. Dangling from the corner was a small green apple keychain, bright and shiny like something picked straight out of a cartoon—playful and fresh, just like her.

I might’ve looked away if Caleb hadn’t shifted slightly then, drawing my eyes to the large red apple charm clipped to his bag. Not the same, but unmistakably a pair. Her green and his red—like they were meant to match, opposite but complementary.

The kind of detail that didn’t just happen. The kind of charm you didn’t buy alone.

I looked at them, then back at the apples. Something sour began to rise in the back of my throat, and I swallowed hard, pretending it was nothing. Just keychains. Just a coincidence.

Before I could fade into the background, she turned to me with a playful grin.

“You forgot this.”

I blinked as she handed me a small box of chocolates. The same kind she had been giving out all day.

“I figured you’d want one too,” she continued, her eyes bright. “Even if you’re not into all this Valentine’s stuff.”

I took the box, a little unsure of how to feel. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate it—she was always thoughtful—but something about it felt hollow, like it could’ve meant for anyone. Just another gesture, wrapped up in politeness. Still, I smiled back and took them.

“Hey,” he said, his voice a bit warmer than usual. “I didn’t forget about you either.”

I froze, surprised. He reached into his bag and pulled out a small, familiar red box—the kind of chocolates I’d seen at the store and always picked up for myself but never expected anyone to remember.

“I remember you saying you liked these,” he continued, offering the box with a casual shrug. “So, here. Happy Valentine’s.”

I stared at the box for a second, unable to believe what was happening. Caleb, the one who never paid me much attention—had remembered this one small detail. The world around me seemed to shrink, and I couldn’t find the words to respond immediately.

“Thanks,” I finally managed to say, my voice quieter than usual. I quickly looked away, suddenly aware of the heat creeping up my neck, my pulse racing.

As I held the chocolates, still reeling from the fact that Caleb had seen me, I could feel the weight of her presence next to him. She had already caught his attention again, her laugh filling the space between us as she leaned into him, brushing her hand against his arm.

And just like that, I was back to being a background character in their routine, holding chocolates, a small token that didn’t change anything.

—

It has been a week, and the tension I had tried to push down only grew stronger.

There she was, her usual energy heightened, practically bouncing into the cafeteria the next morning. “Come on!” she said, dragging me by the arm before I could even get a bite of my lunch. “You have to come watch Caleb’s game with me! It’s his biggest match of the season, and he’s asked us to be there.”

I hesitated. I wasn’t exactly a sports fan, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just a third wheel. They were practically inseparable, and the thought of watching Caleb, the one person who made my heart do flips without even trying, while she was there at his side… well, it made my stomach twist.

“You know I don’t really like watching sports,” I said weakly, trying to pull my arm back, but she wasn’t having it.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that!” she insisted. “It’ll be fun! You’ll see. He really wants us to come!”

Before I knew it, we were heading to the gym together, my resistance fading with every step. I couldn’t escape it now.

As we found our seats in the crowded bleachers, the energy buzzed all around us. The game was intense, and the gym filled with the roar of excited fans. But despite all the noise, it felt oddly quiet for me.

There he was, in his element on the court, pulling off play after play, and the crowd was eating it up. I couldn’t help but watch him. He was so…perfect on that court. His confidence, his skills, the way he seemed to shine no matter where he was—it was undeniable.

And then I glanced over at her.

She was watching him too, her eyes glued to him as if no one else existed in the world. Her laughter echoed in the stands every time he scored. She cheered him on, high-fiving the people around her, her whole world revolving around him.

A sharp, unfamiliar sting twisted in my chest, something cold and suffocating, as if green tendrils had coiled around my heart, tightening with every passing second. It was jealousy. I knew it. I couldn’t deny it, no matter how hard I tried. But I didn’t have the right to feel it. They were friends—childhood friends. 

When the game finally ended, Caleb walked off the court, a wide grin on his face. His team had won, and the crowd roared with excitement. She was already on her feet, clapping, her face lighting up as she made her way toward him.

I felt a wave of discomfort wash over me. I stayed seated, hesitating, unsure if I should follow her. I wasn’t sure I wanted to witness whatever came next. I knew it would be the same as always: her congratulating him, them laughing together, the same dynamic that had been in place for years.

And sure enough, as soon as Caleb reached her, they shared a moment that felt like it was pulled straight out of a rom-com movie. He grinned and with a playful nudge, lifted her into a quick hug, laughing.

“Great game!” she said, her voice bubbly as always.

“Thanks,” Caleb replied, his voice warm as he released her, his eyes meeting hers in that familiar way.

I stood there, watching them, the jealousy gnawing at me harder than I wanted to admit. It crept in slowly, the green tendrils seeping through the cracks of my heart, winding their way around it, squeezing until it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I tried to push it down, tried to ignore the way it twisted inside me, but it was impossible. The jealousy was there, growing more than ever.

And I couldn’t escape it.

At that moment, Caleb’s gaze shifted, landing on me where I stood off to the side. His expression softened as he began making his way over, leaving her behind in the crowd of well-wishers. I braced myself for what was coming—another small, casual acknowledgement, just like all the others.

“Hey,” Caleb greeted, his voice as easy as always. “You enjoying the game?” 

“Yeah, it was great,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I forced a smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tightness in my chest. “You played really well.”

“Thanks,” he said, casually leaning against the bleachers. “I’m glad you could make it.” He gave me a small, almost nonchalant grin, and I could feel the air between us growing thinner. “You should come to the next one too. The more the merrier.”

I nodded, but inside I felt like I was shattering. His smile didn’t mean what I wanted it to. He was just being nice, casual. Like we were… just friends. That’s all it was.

Just friends.

—

I hate this.

Jealousy and I have become acquaintances. 

It wasn’t always like this. At first, it was just a passing stranger, brushing against my shoulder whenever I saw them together. A quiet, fleeting thing. But over time, it settled in, got comfortable. Now, it lingers beside me like a shadow, whispering in my ear every time he laughs at one of her jokes or drapes an arm around her.

I should be used to it by now. I tell myself I don’t mind being the extra in their story, the one who watches, who listens, who smiles at all the right moments. But jealousy knows better. It sees the way my heart twists when he looks at her like she’s the only one in the world. It feels like the ache that never quite goes away.

And the worst part? Caleb is kind. So when he turns to me with that easy warmth, when he asks if I’m okay or flashes a smile just because—I almost believe it. I almost let myself think I matter, not just because I’m standing next to someone who does.

But jealousy just laughs. Because we both know the truth.

He notices everyone.

And that’s exactly why he’ll never really see me.

I almost wish he were mean. That he’d ignore me completely, never sparing me a glance. Maybe then, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Maybe then, I could convince myself I never cared in the first place. But he isn’t. He’s warm, thoughtful, and good. And that’s what makes this so much worse.

Because how do you let go of something that was never yours to begin with?

—

The rain started without warning, a sudden downpour that sent students scattering in every direction. Laughter and shrieks echoed through the courtyard as people huddled under jackets, sprinted for buses, or shared umbrellas.

I stood beneath the awning outside the school doors, watching the water hit the pavement in relentless sheets. She had left earlier for practice, and I had no umbrella, no ride—just an excuse to linger a little longer.

“You always get caught in the rain, huh, Sunshine?”

My breath hitched at the familiar voice, low and amused.

I turned, already knowing who I’d see.

Caleb stood a few feet away, one hand tucked in his pocket, the other holding an umbrella at his side. Stray strands of damp hair clung to his forehead, his school blazer slightly wrinkled like he had just pulled it on without care. 

I scoffed. “That’s a dumb nickname.”

He smirked. “Says the one who never remembers an umbrella.” Then, without waiting for permission, he took a step closer, tilting his umbrella just enough to cover me. “Come on, I’ll walk you.”

I hesitated. But the cold air bit at my skin, and it wasn’t like I had another choice.

So I stepped in.

It should’ve been fine. Normal. We had walked together plenty of times before, always because of her. The thought sat heavy in my chest, an unspoken truth I tried to ignore.

The space under the umbrella was small. Too small. The scent of his cologne mixed with the rain, something warm and clean that made my stomach twist in ways I didn’t want to acknowledge.

We walked in silence, the rhythmic patter of raindrops filling the gaps where words should have been. It wasn’t an awkward silence—he never seemed to struggle with those. To me, though, it was suffocating, heavy with everything I’d spent so long trying to ignore.

Caleb hummed thoughtfully. “You always overthink everything, Sunshine.”

I glanced at him. “And you don’t think enough.”

He grinned. “That’s why we balance each other out.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, willing my heart to settle. We didn’t balance anything. I was just—there. A background character in his life, a passing moment he’d forget by tomorrow.

Then, just as casually as everything else he did, he reached out.

“Hold still,” he murmured.

Before I could react, his fingers brushed against my forehead, tucking a damp strand of hair behind my ear.

The touch was light, but it sent a bolt of something sharp and electric through me. The world shrank down to just that moment, just that sensation.

I could say it. Right now.

The words were right there, lodged in my throat. Three small words waiting to slip out.

But I swallowed them down before they could ruin everything.

I wanted him to be indifferent so bad. To treat me like I was just another face in the crowd, someone easily forgotten. But he didn’t. He was Caleb. Kind, thoughtful, always saying just the right thing, doing just enough to keep me hoping.

By the time we reached my house, my clothes were still dry, but my heart was drowning.

He smiled, completely unaware of what he’d just done to me. “See you tomorrow.”

And then he was gone, walking back into the rain, while I stood there, watching, waiting, wishing—soaking in everything I could never have.

– 

That moment under the umbrella should have meant nothing. Just a momentary act of kindness. A small thing.

To him, it probably was. A simple gesture, something he’d done countless times without thinking.

But for me, it was the moment I realized something ugly had settled inside me. Something that stretched beyond just longing or jealousy.

It was envy.

Because she had everything.

Everything I ever wanted.

Not just Caleb, though that stung more than I wanted to admit. It was the way she moved through life—effortlessly. She was always the centre of attention, always the first choice and always the one people gravitated toward. She didn’t have to fight for anyone’s affection. She didn’t have to wonder whether she was enough. She simply was.

She was loved without question. She was accepted, admired, and celebrated.

And me?

I was the girl who blended into the background. The one whose laugh was too quiet to be heard, whose smile was lost among the crowd. The one who always had to fight to be noticed, but when she was, it felt like an afterthought.

And it had always been like that. I had always been the second best—but now? Now, it was so much worse. Every time she smiled at him, every time they shared a joke or a look that I couldn’t understand, the resentment inside me only grew. I wanted to scream, to shake her, to force her to see that I existed too, that I mattered too. But I couldn’t. She was my best friend. And so, I kept my mouth shut.

It wasn’t just about Caleb anymore. It was about everything.

It was about the way she lived in a world where everything was handed to her, where she didn’t have to second-guess her place in anyone’s life. The way people respected her for being who she was, while I was left wondering what I was doing wrong. What made me less than her?

And I hated her for it.

I hated the way she made it look so easy. I hated how every compliment she got felt like a punch to the gut. I hated how she never questioned her worth. 

I couldn’t even give myself the comfort of believing I was worthy of anything.

So, I pulled away.

Not because I was hurt or heartbroken. Not because I couldn’t stand seeing them together. But because I was angry. Angry at her, angry at him, and most of all, angry at myself for constantly standing by and letting them have everything I wanted.

I avoided her calls, stopped texting back right away, and made excuses when she asked if I wanted to hang out. I found myself making plans to be somewhere, anywhere, but with her. And when she did manage to drag me somewhere, I was quiet. I’d say as little as possible, smile only when necessary, and just... disappear into the background.

It was easier that way. Less painful.

I started isolating myself. Avoiding her meant avoiding Caleb. And avoiding Caleb meant less of the painful, gnawing feeling that clawed at my chest every time I saw them together.

The worst part was that she didn’t notice. She never did.

She was so used to being the centre of attention, so used to everyone loving her, that the subtle shift in our dynamic went completely unnoticed. She never realised that the space between us had grown wider, that my silence wasn’t just me being distant—it was me retreating from a world I no longer wanted to be part of.

It was suffocating. 

I couldn’t let her see. I couldn’t let anyone see how much it hurt. Because if I did, they’d know the ugly truth. That I wasn’t just a background character in their story. I wasn’t just plain.

I was jealous. And envy had become my constant companion, my closest friend.

And I wasn’t sure how to let go of it.

–

Caleb’s graduation was the moment I had been dreading and expecting all at once. The school gymnasium was decorated with streamers and balloons, the air was filled with pride and excitement. The graduating class stood at the front, Caleb among them, ready to speak as the valedictorian. He had earned the title, of course—everyone expected it.

As he stood at the podium, his easy smile and effortless charm seemed to fill the room, the crowd hanging on every word he spoke. I watched from my seat in the crowd, alongside her, face beaming with pride. So much for distancing myself. She was proud of him, and so was I, in a way. After all, he was her best friend, the boy who had been part of her life for as long as I could remember.

Caleb’s speech was inspiring, warm, and heartfelt. He spoke about friendships, dreams, and the future, words that made everyone in the room feel like they were part of something bigger than themselves. When he finished, the crowd erupted in applause, and she was already up from her seat, rushing toward him.

My eyes followed her, knowing exactly what would happen next. She was always there for him, and he, in turn, was always there for her. The bond between them was undeniable, visible to everyone. They had been friends for years, but sometimes, it felt like more than just friendship. I couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, a silent witness to the connection they shared.

And then, it happened. She reached Caleb, her smile wide, and before anyone could say anything, she leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. The crowd cheered, and Caleb smiled in return, a look of fondness in his eyes. It wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t anything special—at least, not for them.

But for me, it was like a dagger in my chest.

I wasn’t jealous. I am not jealous.

I told myself it should’ve been fine. I had walked with them before, watched them interact, and laughed at their jokes, but this moment? This one was different. This one hit harder than I was prepared for. The way they looked at each other, the ease in their gestures—it was a reminder of something I’d never be a part of.

When Caleb pulled away from her, his eyes scanned the room. I could feel his gaze, and for a brief moment, our eyes met. But unlike the usual moments when he would smile, wave, or make some casual comment, this time, he simply looked away, his attention already drifting toward someone else.

No acknowledgement. No wave. Nothing.

I swallowed hard, fighting back the sudden wave of emotion. It should’ve been normal. He was just being Caleb. Kind, friendly, the same as always. But in that moment, the silence felt like a slap.

She was glowing from the attention she got from him and turned back toward me with a smile. I couldn’t bring myself to return it. I just looked at her, at the way she was so comfortable with him, and the heaviness in my chest made it harder to breathe.

I wasn’t part of their world. And deep down, I knew that was never going to change.

I stood up from my seat, moving slowly, hoping to blend into the crowd. My heart pounded in my chest, not from excitement, but from the sharp sting of realising that no matter how many times I told myself it didn’t matter, it did.

I had no place in their story. They didn’t need me. I was always going to be a side note in the narrative that was unfolding before me. The quiet, unnoticed figure in the back of the room while they moved on to bigger things.

And I would remain there, in the background, just like I always had.

Forever. Always. Unnoticed.

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Someone Precious Masterlist

Caleb x Non-MC Reader

Hey guys this is going to be the masterlist that I'm going to be using for this series! I'm currently working on the first part right now and hope to have it posted soon! stay tuned for updates! So far I've planned for it to be a 3 part series but it is subject to changes as I go through the writing process. Feel free to check out my other works as well!

The setting of this series will be taking place in a world where ever, evols and wanderers do not exist. some aspects of the characters and how they met have been tweaked to fit with the plot, so pls dont come at me if something isnt how you remember it in the game.

Masterlist

Part I

Part II

Part III

[i-messed-up-big-time]

LADS Guys and Their Love Languages ˎˊ˗

fluff!

spicy ver (wip)

a/n : this is a quick one to keep u guys fed while i write up some drafts on prideandprejudice!Xavier 😝 pls feel free to request some ideas you’d like me to do while i work on creating a master list 😭

oh, nothing

just thinking about how much i need these men🫠

Xavier - Quality Time

ׂ╰┈➤ Xavier is a man who keeps to himself, not letting many in, so when he chooses to be close, it’s his way of showing care. He’s not the type to declare his feelings in words, but when he’s in your space, unwinding, simply lying next to you—it’s his way of letting you know he feels safe with you, that you’re worth his quiet.

***

Xavier had been quiet all evening, but it wasn’t the usual tension in the air. He’d simply settled on the couch, his body relaxed, his eyes heavy with fatigue.

You glanced at him, noticing how still he was, how comfortable he looked just being in the same space.

Without a word, you sat beside him, and after a moment, he pulled you against him, one arm draping over your shoulders.

“Stay with me,” he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

You leaned into him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. There was no grand gesture, no demands. Just him, content to be there with you, letting everything else fall away.

Zayne - Acts of Service

ׂ╰┈➤ Zayne is emotional, but he’s also practical in the ways that count. He notices things—your posture, your tone, the way you avoid eye contact when you’re burnt out. He responds by taking action: bringing you meds, making you food, forcing you to rest. He’s the “you good?” every two hours, the “drink water” texts, the “I noticed you haven’t eaten” guy—and he does it without making it about himself.

***

“You skipped lunch again,” Zayne said, appearing with a bowl of soup before you could refuse.

You sighed. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re stubborn,” he muttered, setting the food down and flicking on your med scanner.

It beeped once.

“You’re dehydrated. And your sleep cycle’s wrecked.”

You gave him a look. “Did you seriously run a check on me?”

He didn’t flinch. “If I didn’t, would you have told me?”

He sat beside you, pushing the bowl closer. “I’m not doing this because I have to. I’m doing it because I care whether you live long enough to yell at me tomorrow.”

Rafayel - Physical Touch

ׂ╰┈➤ Rafayel is smooth, yes—but underneath the elegance and bravado, there’s something far more intense. He thrives on contact—not for show, but for reassurance. Fingers on your jaw, hands ghosting over your back, a touch to your wrist in a crowd. He needs to feel that you’re real. And when he’s vulnerable, that touch turns reverent.

***

You were pacing again. Rafayel watched in silence from the couch, fingers steepled under his chin.

Then, quietly, “Come here.”

You paused.

“Rafayel, I—”

He was already moving, crossing the room to cup your face in both hands, forehead barely brushing yours. “You’re overthinking again,” he said, voice soft, almost bitter. “Always running from your own head.”

His thumbs stroked your cheeks—slow, grounding.

“I can’t fix what’s in there,” he murmured, “but I can remind you that you’re here. With me.”

You leaned in, and he held you like you were glass. Not fragile—precious.

Sylus - Words of Affirmation

ׂ╰┈➤ Sylus might act tough, but at his core, he’s a romantic. He’s always complimenting you, not just casually but with real meaning. His words are never empty; he speaks with intent, letting you know how much he values you—whether it’s your strength, intelligence, or the way you make him feel. He doesn’t shy away from telling you what he appreciates about you, and he makes sure you know that he sees you in a way no one else does.

***

You were sitting on the couch, mind running in circles, picking apart everything you’d done wrong that day. The noise in your head was getting louder, and you just couldn’t stop.

Sylus stood in the doorway, watching you for a moment before he approached, sitting beside you.

“You’re beating yourself up again,” he said quietly, his gaze steady.

You didn’t answer right away, but he didn’t press. Instead, he simply placed a hand on your knee.

“You’re doing better than you think,” he continued, his voice calm. “You always push yourself to the edge, but you never break.”

He let his words linger, watching you carefully. “You don’t have to be perfect. You’re strong enough without having to prove it every time.”

Caleb - Gift Giving

ׂ╰┈➤ Caleb is curious, excitable, sentimental—and oh so adorable. He expresses affection in the tangible: handmade gadgets, creating you things you need (like a vanity), topping up on your makeup when he sees it’s running out, etc. He gives not out of obligation, but because every item is a moment he wanted to remember with you in it.

***

You returned to your and Caleb’s apartment to find a small, clunky device humming softly on your side table.

You frowned. “What… is this?”

Caleb’s voice piped up from the hall. “Touch the button on the side!”

You did.

A tiny holo sprung up: you and him, side by side, laughing over some half-broken drone.

“It loops our first run back from the toy store together,” he said, peeking in, sheepish. “I know it’s cheesy, but… I liked that day.”

You looked at him.

He shrugged. “So I bottled it. Figured… maybe you liked it too.”

masterlist

Taglist : @etsuniiru @kyokoyya @i-messed-up-big-time @firefly1103 @gracekerzzz @mcdepressed290 @sylusgirlie7 @plzdonutpercieveme

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Fragrance

All LADS men x Non MC Reader

a/n: ok thank you to everyone who voted on the poll! defo helped me a lot with what i should write next, if your choice didn't win dont worry cause i'll be doing all six options in order of popularity so stay tuned for more! guys imma be so fr with you right now, i cried like a bitch while writing this, esp caleb's part, i just love him so much.

divider creds @/cafekitsune

tags: angst, reader is implied to be no longer in this world, hurt/no comfort, non mc reader, lots and lots of angst

word count: 2k

masterlist

tag list: @aneerta @eurydiceknowshesloved @angelichiaro

Xavier

Xavier spent his days like a zombie, the light of his life was gone and far out of his reach. Ironic when his evol is literally light itself, but it feels so much more duller without you here with him.

A mistake, one that was entirely his fault but you paid the price for it. A day that will follow him and haunt him till the end of time, if fate is merciful enough to allow him an end.

あなたに似たようなこの香りもしかして近くにいるの？ (This scent is similar to you, maybe you're nearby?)

Every where he goes, your scent follows him. You were a breath of fresh air, sweet like strawberries and refreshing like morning dew.

Every time he smells your scent he turns to see if you'll be there, waiting for him like you usually did. But reality isn't so kind as to give in to his delusions, and he's left reeling from the pain and guilt.

ねえこれ何度目の勘違いだろう？ (Hey, how many times has this been a misunderstanding?)

Time may heal some wounds, but not all of them.

He can't sleep at night, the nightmares haunt him. His punishment for leaving you alone that day when you so desperately needed him, but he was too ignorant to your pain, and it came to bite him back in the ass.

The only thing that keeps him going is the faint scent of your clothes that surround him on the bed, it makes him feel like you're still with him and not in a place where he can't reach you.

もうどこへ行ったの？今会いたい (Where have you gone already? I want to meet you now.)

A life without you is a life without air. You were his light, but he made you a shadow of another, he snuffed that light with his own hands and now it was too late to make things right. All he could do was wonder where you went, desperately wishing to be with you right now.

Your fragrance follows him everyday, and for now all he can do is let it consume him, it's the only thing that still lingers around him now that you're not here.

My star has left me.

Rafayel

You were always there for him, through everything. You stuck by when others wouldn't and he took that for granted.

It's an unfortunate reality when you don't know how to appreciate the good things you have in your life until they're no longer there.

Now he can only cling to your scent that surrounds him. You smelt like the sea, and to him that was like home. But he ruined that home like a raging tsunami, not realizing the damage he dealt until it was too late.

愛してた さようなら (I loved you, goodbye.)

He couldn't get your last words out of his head, they haunted him.

He saw you in paintings, Your ghost wandered around his studio, your scent following in its wake.

Oh how he wished he could follow you too, life without you was unbearable, and he refused to accept that you were no longer here.

なんて受け止められない (I can't accept that.)

Thomas would often catch Rafayel just sitting on the beach, lost in thought, dark shadows across his face. The man could only sigh and try to cheer him up, despite knowing how futile it was.

He loved you more than words could ever explain, but he was a fool who let someone else take precedence over you. The way your voice sounded when you begged him to stay, only for him to coldly turn you away.

Your voice was barely above a whisper when you said your last words, only Rafayel wouldn't know they were your last until much later.

The regret of being the one who gave you that final push over the edge was more than he could bear, but that was his punishment and he'd live through it a thousand times if it meant you would one day be back in his arms.

だからもう一度愛してよ 忘れられないI still love you (So once again, love me, I can't forget it. I still love you.)

Every painting he made was reminiscent of you, a beautiful love story, despite it's tragic ending. He wanted the world to see your beauty, the one he failed to see himself.

The paintings, your lingering scent, it's all that he has. Without you he's nothing, you were his beloved, one that he should've cherished more than life, but life doesn't always deal fair cards to everyone.

He can only think of one thing when he sees that velvet box on his bedside table, a wish that never came true, a future that would no longer be, a past he can never erase, a present that he's forced to endure alone.

Goodbye my beloved bride

Zayne

What good was a doctor when he couldn't save the one life that needed it the most.

The signs were always there, but he was too busy to see them. Putting another over you, the one who should've been his number one priority.

And now he returns to an empty home, devoid of all life as the one who made it lively was no longer around to keep it that way.

あたしにも貸してくてた香水もう側にはない 名前は知らないけど大好きだったこの香り(The perfume you lent me too, It's not by my side anymore. I don't know the name though, I loved this scent.)

Your scent was fading, it no longer engulfed his being the moment he stepped into the room you guys shared. In the beginning he opted to sleep in the guest room, not strong enough to come to terms that you wouldn't be there next to him in bed.

But as time went on, he started sleeping in the room you guys shared, the pillow and blanket still had your scent. Your side of the bed still unmade, it made him feel like you were still there with him, that you weren't in a place where he couldn't reach you.

The label on your favourite perfume bottle was faded, the name no longer visible, but it was his favourite scent on you, regularly spraying it on your side of the bed whenever the scent would start to fade away.

鮮明な記憶まで色褪せない今宛できるのこれしかない (Even the vivid memories don't fade, this is the only thing I can do right now)

Lost in the memories, each one so vivid it hurts. The smile that shined so brightly, but eventually faded overtime, the lack of attention and love getting to you. But that's all they were, memories that can only be replayed and never experienced again.

All he could do now was pray that you would wake up in a world where you never have to feel like a side character again, where you could live without sickness. A life full of happiness that he couldn't give you when you begged it from him with your eyes, but silently endured the loneliness that was returned to you instead.

Maybe in another life, he would be able to show you the love he couldn't in this life. Maybe this was a punishment from Astra, a life without you the one who he truly loved but realized it too late.

Maybe he was never the right fit for you, maybe the best thing for now was hope that when you wake up in another world, in another life, that you guys don't meet, as he believes that he'll only bring you more pain and sadness.

When you and the world wake up... I hope we don't meet again.

Sylus

He was a man of confidence, his choices were never wrong. Until they were.

The base never felt so empty despite being so full, the decorations were still up, traces of you scattered all around. No one had the heart to take anything down or put anything away, doing so would mean having to accept reality, and no one was ready for that.

The twins felt it hard, but not as hard as Sylus. You were a mother and older sister figure for them, your love was boundless. Even when you were met with a wall, you loved unconditionally and with no restraints.

He took your love for granted, assuming you would always be a constant in his life, no matter what he did.

So when you subtly begged him to go out with you that day, he didn't think much of it and turned you down, telling you he'd take you out another day.

God how he wished he went with you that day, you should've taken priority but he put the aether core above you. Not a day goes by that he doesn't drown in regret and guilt.

此処には居ないとわかってるのに似たような空気吸うたびあなたを無意識に探してた (Even though I know you're not here, every time I breathe similar air, I was unconsciously looking for you.)

You were his oxygen, his anchor, and he lost you. That day haunts him forever, he can still smell the perfume that you had on that day, it follows him wherever he goes.

He looks around in hopes that he'll catch a glimpse of your smiling face, but fate won't humour him.

He's a man who has everything, but without you he has nothing, you were his everything.

今はただ苦しいの依存してるだけ薄れやすいはずなのに染みついたままの香り (Right now, I'm just clinging to the pain, though it should easily fade, the scent still clings to me.)

He couldn't bring himself to put away your things, the site of them a constant reminder of his failure to protect you, to listen and be there for you.

You always put others before yourself, why couldn't he put you before him for once?

His world has no purpose without his sun, his beloved, the only one who stayed constant in a life where everything was always changing.

Maybe this was his fate, his curse. An ending that was written back in a time where mythical creatures like dragons roamed.

Maybe, just maybe,

This is the dragon's curse.

Caleb

A mistake, harsh words that should've never been said. A moment that he so desperately wishes he could go back to, stop you from leaving not just his side, but this world too.

He should have never put her above you, never compared you to her. But life is always full of regrets and what ifs.

ねえどうして I can't forget (Hey why, I can't forget)

The night he still haunts him, it replays in his head like a broken record. His chest constantly feels like it's on fire, the thought that his last words to you were ones that were said in a fit of anger, they were meant to hurt you, whether he wanted to or not.

And now he couldn't even beg you for forgiveness, you were gone to a place he couldn't reach, one he was unsure he would ever reach. His sin too heavy for him to believe he'd make it to the same place as you.

離れ離れなのにお願いお願いもう一度だけ側に来て抱きしめて (Even though we're far apart, please, please, come and hold me just once more.)

Every night he lies in bed, holding your pillow in his arms, praying to the gods above to let him see you one more time, to hold you in his arms and tell you how sorry he is, how much he loves you.

Now he's just a shell of a man, the only good thing in his life ruined by his own hands.

消せないの 消えないの孤独に紛れた香りもう一度だけ愛し合いたい (I can't erase it I can't erase it, the scent of loneliness. I want to love each other just once more.)

Your scent still lingers and with it the emptiness you left behind.

It hurts him even more when he comes across little sticky notes that you left for him to find, you always loved leaving him little notes of love and encouragement in places he wouldn't normally expect them to be.

'You were my gravity… and now I’m just drifting, hoping I’ll feel your pull one last time before I disappear.'

If he could he would sell his soul to the devil if it meant you would live, and if that wasn't possible then he'd join you wherever you are, because

In life and in death, we will never be apart.

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Taglist!

masterlist

I thought I would start a taglist for anyone who is interested in some non mc reader fics. comment down below and i'll add you! First up on the fic list will be my song fic for all LADS men x non mc reader (separately).

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Poll Time!

ok guys i was writing down a couple of ideas and now i need some help to decide what i should write next. take a look at the pic and vote for which one you wanna see!