i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

YOU'RE BACK I MISSED YOU

Day 344: C'est la vie

Submitted by @i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

phrasing of this is taking me out

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

Rips my freaking tide

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

Tumblr's lack of algorithm is truly something because I'll see a post titled "this is for both the Dr House and ice hockey fans" and am neither of those but I followed the op so I can only blame myself

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

I got an uncle who turned into a chestnut tree

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

reblog to disturb all terfs at once

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

Yea

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

in the minecraft world do youthink people would use "they dug straight down" as code for someone dying

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

english slang is awful i would hate to be learning this shit. like the word shit. something can be horseshit or bullshit which means it's a lie. but cow shit is just poop. and something can be dogshit which means it's really bad quality. but cat shit is just poop.

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans

[i-only-eat-four-leaf-clovers]

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.