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Moments when even the god of war is taken by surprise.

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Scumplane and apple trend♥️

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Shang Qinghua is always carrying a massive med kit and Shen Qingqiu found out about it during a mission when they were both head disciples so whenever they are out together and he needs healthcare Shen Qingqiu always comes to Shang Qinghua like “don’t lie, I know you have some extremely specific medication for this up your sleeve,” and Shang Qinghua always pulls out exactly what he needs

It gets to a ridiculous point where Shang Qinghua starts pulling out herbs and items that are extremely rare and only found in dangerous parts of the demon realm and Shen Qingqiu doesn’t even ask because he doesn’t want to lose his supplier and have to go to a real doctor. Also Shang Qinghua starts stocking up specifically for Shen Qingqiu where as before it was all for himself.

One time some other peak lord gets injured on a mission and Mu Qingfang doesn’t have the cure at his peak so Shen Qingqiu calls Shang Qinghua and Mu Qingfang is horrified when he’s handed the exact thing he needed. He only then reveals that the cultivation world at large believed this plant to be a myth and demands to know where the hell Shang Qinghua got it.

Shang Qinghua can’t think of a good lie on the spot so he tells a half truth “I got it in a trade with a merchant near the borderlands, he’d inherited it from his father and didn’t know it’s true worth, just that it was rare. I wasn’t sure if it was the real deal but I bought it just in case,” he absolutely knew it was real. He wrote the thing

“And you told Shen Shixiong about it?”

Both Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu agree without hesitation

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CW: discussion of kinks

Love it how if Shen Qingqiu and OG Shang Qinghua were to date everyone would assume Shen Qingqiu was a deviant taking advantage of Shang Qinghua but really Shang Qinghua is freaky in ways Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even fathom before they met.

Shen Qingqiu isn’t innocent by any means, he has heard things from the brothel ladies that would make most squirm. It is simply that Shang Qinghua had access to the internet and wrote porn for a living. Shen Qingqiu thinks a weird kink is wanting to be stepped on, Shang Qinghua knows what vore is.

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OG Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua forming an alliance where they help eachother lie about injuries and stop the other from being taken to a doctor while unconscious.

This alliance evolving into them treating each others injuries with no questions asked and forming a strange bond where they trust each other with their lives but not their secrets.

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🤨🏳️‍🌈❓

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Disciple era Scumplane where SQH helps SQQ with his wounds

I’ve definitely read this in a fic but I lost it so tell me if you know where this scene is from

Also I like never draw chibi so sorry if this looks off

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Not writing a fanfic nobody asked for but writing fanfic for yourself and that one other person who is equally insane about the idea

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Ok so Shang Qinghua is just hanging out as a peak lord right. He hears about Shen Qingqiu having a pretty rough qi deviation but doesn’t think much of it because Shen Qingqiu is always having Qi deviations around this point in the plot. That’s why he goes to the Linxi Caves later.

Then he goes to a peak lord meeting and sees not one but TWO Shen Qingqius, one of which looks incredibly pissed off and slightly translucent. This angry Shen Qingqius notices his starting and makes eye contact with him, his expression shifting into surprise

“Why do you look like you’re staring at me?” He asked aloud. Shang Qinghua looks away hurriedly.

“Sorry!” He apologizes and the solid Shen Qingqiu looks at him in confusion, before turning away once again.

“Wait, YOU can see me? of all people?” The ghostly Shen Qingqiu asked whole stomping over to Shang Qinghua, who looked around to see no one else was reacting to the outburst. It’s then it clicks

“Holy shit are you a ghost?” He asks. THEN people start looking at him.

“Shang shidi?” Yu Qingyuan asks in concern

“Nothing! Nothing! Just thinking out loud as usual!” That gets him some looks but it at least gets the heat off his back

“No one else can see me imbecile,” the ghost criticizes. “I think I can follow you out. We will talk then when you can answer my MANY questions,”

After the meeting they go back to Shang Qinghua’s hovel and discuss. It turns out Shang Qinghua is the only one who can see Shen Qingqiu and and Shen Qingqiu has no idea where this imposter comes from but is convinced it can’t be a second him because the guy has a very different personality despite appearances.

So now they have a mystery on their hands.

1. Why can Shang Qinghua see him (AKA why is the system letting him see the ghost of the villain)

and 2. Who the hell is in Shen Qingqiu’s body and why?

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Shang qinghua goes on to think that the brush set is a threat and that sqq knows he’s a demon spy causing them not to get together for another 40+ years

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A cute wallpaper I did for the wonderful @dustyy-f, featuring Catzun and angy Hamhua ^^

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Imagine:

Shen Qingqiu gets sick of seeing Shang Qinghua come to important intersect events with dressed like some random rouge cultivator so he gives Shang Qinghua a makeover.

This makeover is literally just getting him in high quality tailored robes, and brushing his hair but it turns out that was all he needed to look like a god among men.

The whole meeting everyone is looking at Shang Qinghua and he gets very anxious about it but in reality everyone is either like “who’s this guy and why does he look so dignified” or “what do you mean he could’ve looked like that this whole time?”

Shen Qingqiu is very proud to say he knew his shidi could look like this, after all the painting didn’t change, just the frame it was put in

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Half Rat Qinghua AU: How Mu Qingfang Found Out

So having Shen Jiu by his side and aware of his heritage made things a bit easier for Shang Qinghua, especially after they became head disciples, but they couldn’t go on every mission together and couldn’t possibly prepare for everything.

At one point, near the ascension when all the head disciples were being sent on missions together, Shang Qinghua, Mu Qingfang, and Qi Qingqi were sent on a diplomatic mission together. Long story short Shang Qinghua’s drink was poisoned. He recognized the taste pretty quickly but he didn’t want to give Mu Qingfang a chance to check his meridians and spit something inhuman so he left to the bathroom, vomited the poison, and went back to the table. On his way back Mu Qingfang stopped him.

“Our drinks were poisoned. Qi Qingqi made an excuse about feeling sick so we can leave quietly,” he informed in a hushed tone. Shang Qinghua internally curses while following Mu Qingfang outside and back to an inn, where they booked a room to stay in until they were sure it was safe to travel home.

“Luckily I didn’t drink anything,” Shang Qinghua tried to lie, but Qi Qingqi caught him

“But you did, I saw you do so,”

“Well yeah but I tasted the poison and vomited it out in the bathroom,” he admitted. “So I’m poison free,”

“We don’t know that,” Mu Qingfang corrected “if it was strong enough it could still effect you despite the vomit. I will have to check all of us,”

Mu Qingfang checked Qi Qingqi first and confirmed it was a spiritual qi suppressant, although she was only mildly affected. Qi Qingqi confirmed she had also vomited the poison, making Shang Qinghua panic. He was already constantly low on spiritual qi because he was using it to maintain and hide his seal, so if Mu Qingfang checked now…

He made a quick decision and asked to speak to Mu Qingfang alone Qi Qingqi agreed to leave the room but glared at them both with suspicion.

“Listen, it may seem bad but, my baseline is just very low, I’ve always kinda struggled to maintain spiritual qi- not in a dangerous way! I have been able to keep myself as stable as the average mortal, I’m just afraid this will look worse than it is because of my… condition,” Shang Qinghua improved like an award winning actor

“Thank you for telling me, I will keep this in mind,” Mu Qingfang reached out and Shang Qinghua begrudgingly held out his arm “you can relax, me checking your condition won’t change anything,”

Shang Qinghua didn’t even notice how tense he was until Mu Qingfang commented on it. That didn’t make it any easier to relax, especially when Mu Qingfang checked his meridians and Shang Qinghua watched his brow get more tense the longer he looked

“Everything alright?” Shang Qinghua asked, resisting the urge to pull away.

“This doesn’t just seem bad Shang Shidi, it is bad, really bad,” Mu Qingfang responded bluntly “you have traces of demonic qi lining your meridians. No wonder you can’t maintain spiritual qi! Are you in any pain?”

Shang Qinghua feels panic clog his throat as his mind races for a response. Mu Qingfang sees this and changes his approach

“Okay, let’s start with this, can you circulate your qi?”

Shang Qinghua nods and does so, trying to bring the demonic qi back into the seal, unintentionally leading Mu Qingfang right to it.

“Wait,” he instructs. “I need you to meditate, alright,” Shang Qinghua nodded, trying to bring in more spiritual qi as he did so. He flinched when he felt Mu Qingfang move his own qi through him. It probably would’ve felt calming at another time or to someone else, but to Shang Qinghua it felt like a bucket of ice water flushing through his system.

Shang Qinghua opened his eyes and pulled away, scurrying back towards the wall as he felt his heart beat wildly in his chest

Mu Qingfang looked back at him in surprise and disbelief. As they made eye contact they both knew that the other felt exactly the same thing that they did.

A less experienced cultivator wouldn’t have known what it was, would’ve probably thought it a part of the poison or a clump of spiritual qi, but Mu Qingfang was head disciple for a reason, and he knew what an uncovered seal felt like

“Please,” Shang Qinghua didn’t know what he was begging for, but that didn’t stop him from trying. Mu Qingfang’s expression softened.

“Whatever you are trying to hide, it can’t be healthy for you to do so. If it isn’t harming you now it will soon. Let me help,” he tried to bargain

“I don’t care. I don’t want or need your help. I only need your silence,” Shang Qinghua felt his hands shaking with the primal sort of fear that always stayed just under the surface.

“You already have it. My job is to help people. It’s clear to me you are not a threat to me, if you were I’d already have the wounds to prove it,” Shang Qinghua considered him, and stepped towards to door, Mu Qingfang didn’t stop him.

“You either underestimate your own ability, or overestimate my ability to hurt,” Shang Qinghua replied.

Mu Qingfang moved towards him with his hands up, like someone trying to assure a wild animal. Shang Qinghua hated that it worked. He then placed his hand back on his patient’s wrist, and checked the meridians once again

“The seal is well constructed but leaking demonic qi. Does this happen often?”

“Only when I’m low on spiritual qi. I should be able to get everything back inside pretty easily once I’m recovered as long as the seal isn’t broken entirely,”

“Does the demonic qi cause you pain? Your meridians don’t seem damaged,”

“It’s not normally painful or damaging no. If the seal breaks it would be a bit painful because of how much has accumulated under there but not deadly. As long as I get my spiritual qi back up everything should go back to normal and it will go back to being difficult to detect,” Shang Qinghua kept things as truthful as possible without fully admitting his demonic nature, not quite knowing how much Mu Qingfang had figured out on his own

“You’re spiritual qi isn’t actually all that low considering how much you are using for the seal. I’d recommend keeping it unhidden for now, just until you have enough qi to keep the seal together and keep it hidden while having enough qi left over to survive at the same time,”

“As long as you can stop Qi Qingqi from checking my meridians,” Shang Qinghua muttered

“I wasn’t lying when I said you had my silence. As long as you don’t hurt anyone I have no reason to want you kicked from the sect,” Mu Qingfang promised. Shang Qinghua let out a small snort of a laugh

“Im surrounded by powerful cultivators all the time. Even attempting to hurt anyone would be suicidal,” He sat down on the bed, resisting the urge to collapse facedown into the mattress.

They let Qi Qingqi inside and Mu Qingfang implied something about Shang Qinghua having an old injury he was ashamed of to get her off their backs

When they returned to the sect Mu Qingfang did another private check up and confirmed Shang Qinghua was healthy once again, although he suggested keeping it easy for a while, which was something Shang Qinghua resolutely ignored.

Shang Qinghua had no clue if that was when he figured it out, but a few years into being peak lords Mu Qingfang did start to imply he knew Shang Qinghua was half demon. He even noticed Shang Qinghua’s lack of balance and suggested he get a cane.

Shen Qingqiu was horrified to learn of this encounter (Shang Qinghua told him the moment they got back) and didn’t trust Mu Qingfang at all until they’d already became peak lords and he’d still said nothing. After that however, he started actually going to Qian Cao when he was injured instead of treating himself and eventually even trusted him to see his whip scars

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SVSSS Idea: Shang Qinghua uses big stick as a Cain until Shen Qingqiu gets sick of seeing it at professional meetings and buys him an expensive one that’s made to fit his height and everything.

At first Shang Qinghua only switches to using it because he feels bad that money was spent on him for something he doesn’t think he needs but it actually helps a great deal and he starts going out noticeably more after the switch

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Ok quick disciple era Scumplane idea! I swear it’s actually quick this time

Shang Qinghua catches Shen Jiu stealing burn medicine and bandages from Qian Cao in the dead of night while trying to do the exact same thing and just goes

“Did you get burned?” And Shen Jiu is so confused as to why he’s not being yelled at and beat up for stealing that he just replies “no?” And Shang Qinghua is like

“Oh. You got the wrong medicine then. Can I get past you, I need some disinfectant,”

And Shen Jiu just sort of nods and moves to the side, watching as Shang Qinghua grabs a jar of oil and a roll of bandages.

“I know this place pretty well so if you tell me what you need I can probably find it pretty easily,” finally Shen Jiu asks why he’s not reporting him to someone and Shang Qinghua’s like

“Does it look like I’m supposed to be here, cause I’m definitely not. You don’t tell and I won’t tell.”

They then have a cute moment bandaging their wounds together and become best friends and eventually lovers

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Half Rat Qinghua AU Scumplane Ideas

Search through the tag for context if you want it

• Shang Qinghua becomes peak lord simply because the more powerful he is politically the less people will question him and the more he can control information spread about him

•Shen Jiu starts off seeing Shang Qinghua as purely an asset that he is blackmailing then he ends up connecting with him because they both know what it's like to fight to survive, and eventually they start courting but they don't acknowledge what they are as "courting" because neither of them knows what a healthy romantic relationship looks like

•Shang Qinghua has terrible balance (because he grew up with a tail) so once he's a peak lord he starts using a big stick as a Cain until Shen Qingqiu gets him a nicely carved one under the excuse that his old one was "improper”

•Shang Qinghua has a lot of rat/demon instincts that he usually surpresses unless he's around Shen Qingqiu.

• Every time Shang Qinghua is handed something he instinctually wants to sniff it and often does so without even noticing. Shen Jiu starts handing him random objects just to see Shang Qinghua sniff it and find out if he thinks it smells good

•Shen Jiu tries to learn about demon culture to better understand Shang Qinghua only to cause more confusion because Shang Qinghua knows little to nothing about demon culture

•Shen Qingqiu eventually tries courting Shang Qinghua the demon way by challenging him to a dual and Shang Qinghua is super confused about it.

•Shang Qinghua is even more cautious about his reputation in this au and also extends this to Shen Jiu, who he starts a PR campaign for. Shen Jiu actually starts defending himself after this just to make Shang Qinghua happier.

•Shang Qinghua frequently lets people walk all over him because he avoids confrontation like the plague but Shen Jiu is not having it. Shen Jiu frequently steps in to insult anyone who messes with his little rat

I might post more about this au so stay tuned and follow the tag for updates

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Half rat Qinghua

Au where Shang Qinghua transmigrates into a half demon with a seal like Binghe, except unlike Binghe he isn’t actually all that strong and comes from a species that lives in packs. Also he doesn’t have a system breathing down his neck

He wanted to avoid Cang Qiong but it turns out being a homeless kid is a very easy way to get trafficked and enslaved so he ends up going anyway just for the food and shelter.

He still ends up on An Ding and is pretty content to just train his cultivation enough to keep up his seal (which isn’t nearly as sturdy as Binghe’s) and then eventually becoming a traveling salesman who goes to places where cultivators and demons are not. Yeah being in a cultivation sect and knowing he’s a half demon is extremely anxiety inducing, especially because he knows the future peak lord is a master of information gathering, espionage, and manipulation.

Of course it would be to boring if things went according to plan so somehow, he ends up on a mission with Shen Jiu by pure chance before Shen Jiu is even head disciple.

He tries to stay away but as they’re both at the bottom of the social totem pole they both get sent to do the most annoying work together.

At one point they have to clean up some demon corpses together (they weren’t hard for the Qing jing disciples to kill but they were a pain to clean) and Shang Qinghua picks up more than he can hold and drops a head on his foot. Unfortunately the mouth of this head is open and scrapes his leg, leaking venom into the wound. He tries and fails not to panic, making eye contact with Shen Jiu who saw this happen and is incredibly annoyed.

“Seriously? How did you manage to get bitten by a demon after it’s been killed?” He remarks bluntly.

Shang Qinghua decides to ignore that comment and tells him he’s gonna wash the wound in the nearby lake. He puts down the rest of the corpse and gets around ten steps before he collapses, and Shen Jiu audibly sighs before putting down everything he was holding and walking over to Shang Qinghua’s limp body.

“Need a hand or are you just taking a nap?” Shen Jiu asks jokingly

“I can’t feel my legs,” Shang Qinghua whines, refusing to move. “Why’s it gotta be so hot? Isn’t it supposed to be mid fall?” It was actually quite cold but Shen Jiu decided not to comment. Instead reaching down to check Shang Qinghua’s meridians

Now Shang Qinghua had indeed learned to keep the seal together while asleep and could usually keep it up while injured as well, however the seal was powered by his own spiritual qi and all of that spiritual qi was now being used to purge the demonic venom, leaving the seal extremely weak and vulnerable. So when Shen Jiu taps into his meridians looking for oddities, he finds the seal immediately, and because he’s so new to cultivation he accidentally pokes at it wrong and it bursts.

Shen Jiu watches in confusion as Shang Qinghua’s ears shift and grow fur while a long rat tail peaks out of his pant leg. It takes a moment for him to process what he’s seeing and even then he doesn’t really know what to do. What was the procedure for your shidi turning into a rat demon? Was he supposed to kill him? What if it was an illusion or a side effect of the venom? It would be odd considering the demon was a snake and not a rat but it was possible.

Shang Qinghua’s so focused on trying to focus his blurry eyesight and remember what the sure was to this particular venom that he doesn’t notice

“Do you have water on you?” He asks before rolling onto his back and sitting up. “We need to clean the wound. Also I’m pretty sure this one can be flushed out with qi,” in fact his body was trying to do that automatically, he just needed to focus a bit to speed up the process.

The moment he focuses on his qi he feels the demonic qi now flowing through his meridians and realizes. He looks down at his tail in horror and wraps it around his leg in an attempt to hide it

“I’m getting the others,” Shen Jiu decides, turning to leave

“Nope!” Shang Qinghua grabs Shen Jiu’s pant leg, almost tripping him. “It’s fine! Really, it is! I just need to clean it and I’ll be right back on my feet in so time!” He laughs nervously and Shen Jiu raises an eyebrow

“Let go. I’m pretty sure the others would want to know that you grew ears and a tail,” he argues. Shang Qinghua’s sweating gets worse

“Please don’t! I’ll do anything! I could steal for you. I go to all 12 peaks within a week, I could get you anything you want,” he bargins. Shen Jiu squints at him. He’s starting to think that it definitely wasn’t just the venom the gave him the rat features so he takes a risk.

“And why should I trust a demon?” Shang Qinghua’s face says it all

“I’m not a demon! Well, I’m partially a demon, but I’ve never even been to the demon realm! The only other demon I know is my mother! I promise I only joined the sect for the free food and shelter. I couldn’t even hurt anyone if I tried! Even with full use of my demonic heritage I’m weaker than even some An Ding cultivators! If I tried anything it would be a suicide mission!” He holds out his arm “you can check my meridians! I’ve sealed my demon half away for years so my demonic cultivation is even weaker than my spiritual cultivation and that’s saying something!”

Shen Jiu considers the rat critically. He knew firsthand that humans could be just as bad as demons, he also knew just how far people would go to survive. Maybe having this weak demon as an ally could be useful. At least until Shen Jiu had some power for himself

“Fine. I won’t tell anyone, but you owe me big time.”

“Deal!”

Scumplane shenanigans insue

Might come back to this to talk about them as peak lords