ianthedisastrous

[ianthedisastrous]

"The Board is probably harder than running a kingdom," Ian could only speculate on that one of course, but politics did seem incredibly complex.

Time had been such a strange concept for Ian for years, he could thank the curse for that; if he could thank it for anything at all. But he knew on some level he could, as outlandish as it sounded. Because Greg was right anyway; it wasn't always the things a person expected that ended up changing their course in life. He still had trouble embracing change in some ways, maybe he always would, but watching things unfold made him feel just a little better about whatever it was that remained uncertain ahead.

Ian exhaled, uttered a chuckle as he looked at the water. Ruff to Fluff had been the first place he had felt any sort of confidence in his own abilities, that too had been unexpected; but it had meant a lot. Now there wasn't really a job that needed to be done in that place that he didn't know how to do, and that had felt like a journey all in itself.

Coworkers, friends; for his younger self it had all been so very new. And there had been a lot of stability in it when everything else around him had felt likely to collapse under his feet.

"I don't think I ever really believed that you weren't supposed to be here," Ian replied, quietly, because he didn't; he preferred to believe in the resilience that people didn't always even know that they had. The world wasn't always as kind as he wished it might be, but most people were anyway. And maybe it was selfish but faith had never been something he lacked, it was just faith in people; even through the hardest days. "I'm glad you don't believe it anymore either."

But he supposed things did change.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to be here as much though, after the summer; when I start school again I mean. And I don't even like saying that, because I feel like everything here was what I needed when I found it. There are a lot of friendships that I wouldn't have without being here," he couldn't say that was exactly the reason he had become friends with Greg though, of course not; their friendship had come from online games and working together had been what had built it stronger.

Back at that point it wasn't just because of a job, it was also because Greg had bad days, and Ian wanted to help; and it took so little to help. But Greg wasn't the same person anymore; he was happier. The bad days didn't hold on to him as tightly.

"It's terrifying," he admitted, honestly, "putting all that time into that degree and now this internship coming up with Jimminy and everybody always says you're ready for that sort of thing, and you want to believe it but who knows?" Greg would understand, Ian knew, how hard it was sometimes not to doubt just a little even for something a person really wanted. "The writer thing seemed a lot easier in comparison," he uttered a soft, humored sound, "and it wasn't really very easy at all."

@notmuchofatail

Spring Cleaning || Gregorian

[ianthedisastrous]

@eilonwy-notjustgirl @foreverydinger

[ianthedisastrous]

"I know you all seem to be very determined to convince me, but I don't think I'm ever going to be an adventurer like the rest of you." Ian laughed softly. There had been a time in the past when he thought he needed to be, when he thought he had to keep up with everyone else to keep those connections with people. And he had tried, he had managed it, but it had taught him maybe being able to do something when you had to and wanting to do it weren't always the same thing.

And it wasn't always necessary to fit into what worked for everyone else; he might not have been the first to jump at the idea of adventure, but he was the one who would be there regardless, just a couple of steps back so that he could make sure the more adventurous of the people he knew always had someone to back them up when they really needed it.

She had helped him see it wasn't always about keeping up, it was good enough just to be there.

Maybe he worried more than he should have, maybe that was always going to be a part of who he was; but Ian didn't look at it as the worst thing anymore, it had gotten people out of trouble plenty of times in the past. And ultimately he hadn't had to change himself the way that he thought he had to; he just needed the people who understood the value in how he saw the world.

So he would worry while she was away, those worries would diminish over time but they would never fully dissolve, and he would always be looking for updates to make certain everything was okay. That she was okay, and that she didn't lose herself in those obligations. Because that was his job, that's what family did.

"I guess I'm willing to do that anyway, for you." He smiled; not wanting to think too much about what her absence would feel like. He didn't want that to be what occupied the space around them. She couldn't go too far, there wasn't anywhere so far that he wouldn't find a way to get there if she needed him.

There would always be a way, somehow.

@eilonwy-notjustgirl

Some Assembly Required || Eilian

[ianthedisastrous]

In some ways Ian didn't think it was fair. Not ways that had anything to do with himself, or the amount of distance between them, but for her. Because he knew she had an important place there on that island but he thought she had an equally important place out there in the world. If there was a specific sort of person who was meant to go out and do big things, to change things, to help people; she was what that was supposed to look like. And he had seen her struggles in coming to terms with the idea of where her freedom would go, he couldn't honestly say he didn't wish there was a way to change that.

But he also couldn't say it out loud, because in the end it had been her choice. And even if it wasn't the choice he might have made for her it was the one she decided and all he could do was respect that. It wasn't even about how much less they would see of each other, the bigger part of it was he hoped she was happy. And she would be, he knew she would find ways to be happy; but anymore Ian knew there were a million ways to find happiness and there would always be a million others left untold.

He hoped this one was the right one for her.

He wasn't sure he could have done something like that, he hadn't really even been able to accept being a sorcerer for the longest time and while he did now he still couldn't reason the idea of his entire life centering around magic the way it probably should have. In some ways he had probably not lived up to what legacy carried through his father's family, even though he thought he probably should have sometimes.

But she was putting everything into her kingdom, and that made her a good Queen, but the place where Ian had the most trouble accepting it was where he knew his sister before he knew her to be a Queen.

"I'm pretty sure we'll be right here when you come back, at least for a while longer." He agreed; but he didn't know either or life was going to lead. "And if we're not we'll figure out a way to be."

After graduation Tony might end up with a job somewhere else, he would always have his writing to fall back on himself, and while he would be quite limited in his ability to find a job as a therapist outside of places where private practices allowed Magicks to work they were still possibilities. He and Tony had to make things fit together wherever they did; Ian was in no hurry to leave that town, even less hurry to leave the people within it.

But sometimes things didn't last forever, and he had learned that taking a chance wasn't something to be as afraid of anymore. By that same logic he had to look at her taking this chance as a possibility.

"I would say you could leave Edward in charge for a while and take some time off at some point," Ian chuckled, "but then you would be leaving Edward in charge." He joked; he had spent enough time with Edward lately to know the man was in fact generally very proficient in what he needed to do. Just incredibly idealistic and very easily distracted. Enough time to actually like him, and mostly except he was good enough for his sister, because Edward did everything he could to make her happy. And sometimes that was more important than anything else.

But Edward really needed to get on that proposal idea, and knew he was just waiting for some perfect moment and he couldn't quite get Edward to understand moments were what you made of them, perfect or not.

@eilonwy-notjustgirl

Some Assembly Required || Eilian

[ianthedisastrous]

"I'm hopeful for the next little while at least I'm not going to hit too many points where I have to." Ian replied, although he did appreciate the vote of confidence, he was also very ready for things to just be a little calmer for a while. He knew it wasn't going to happen; the next year was going to be even more complicated and busy for his last year of uni, he had to sort out so many things that were big and it was starting to feel like he had to make more of those life decisions that everyone kept saying you made when you were actually an adult.

Sometimes it was hard to really register; sometimes it felt like if he blinked something would come all undone and so would the past few years. He wouldn't have minded in some ways, starting over those years and uni, finding more about himself along the way and having the chance and more moments with the people in his life that distance now separated from him because of where their lives had gone.

Except that he had seen through Tony that people really couldn't hold on to time slowing down for them. It wasn't an escape, eventually it turned into a prison; he didn't always feel like he was ready for how quickly things moved around him but when he had more experience than most people seeing the alternative where time didn't move at all and how devastating it could be. He wasn't worried about not having enough time, he was just always surprised that it seemed to go so quickly.

Stepping away from the sleeping infant he found Elionwy grabbing hold of him and he smiled, giving her a squeeze with that hug. "Don't think it's too far though; if you need me I'll find a way to be there." That went without saying, but sometimes it was the things that didn't have to be said and still where people needed to hear.

"You might not be right here but I'm not going to miss Primrose growing up, or seeing you every chance I get." It wasn't any different than most siblings, Ian supposed; eventually someone's life took them somewhere else. It did bother him, it did ache, but it could ache in private because she was the one caught up in some many changes and stability in being there was the only he could help in that. "We all will; holidays, vacations, whatever; your home is still here with us too."

@eilonwy-notjustgirl

Some Assembly Required || Eilian

[ianthedisastrous]

Moonbows

A moonbow, also known as a lunar rainbow or white rainbow, is a rainbow created by moonlight rather than sunlight. It's formed when light from the moon refracts and reflects off water droplets, like those in rain or mist, creating a visible arc of light in the sky. Moonbows are generally fainter and less colorful than regular rainbows, and they are much rarer due to the need for specific conditions like a full or near-full moon, clear skies, and dark skies.

[ianthedisastrous]

"You think I can keep up with more than one kid and Tony both?" He chuckled, although generally speaking he found a way to do most things, even if they seemed much bigger than possible. And time had a different hold than it used to, but that didn't mean it felt as though that hold was suffocating; time didn't feel narrow at that point because it still wasn't.

Except in the case of people leaving, and that was always where time felt too short. Hard to imagine that only a handful of months remained before things would change. He couldn't say he wanted them to change but he also couldn't keep that from happening; it was the sort of thing that happened to everyone when they got older but Ian felt as though in their case it would be harder than just a sibling moving across town or a few hours away. And part of that was knowing the changes that would come along in different ways as she took up that role that was meant for her.

Sometimes he still wanted to tell her that she didn't have to, the things like being given a direction and a purpose from birth simply were not fair and people deserved to find their own way. But there was no way that he could make that argument because she wanted to go. Maybe she didn't want all the changes but she felt it was her place; it was selfish to say her place could have just as easily been there because it couldn't have, not really, not in the way that she felt it needed to be.

And Ian would probably never be fully accepting of that but it wasn't his choice to make, it was just his job to make sure she knew if anything at all ever changed and there would always be that space remaining for her to return to even though he doubted she ever would aside from those little visits.

Sometimes things weren't as simple as people wished they were. Sometimes it was too hard to imagine the absence of people.

There was a different sort of silence with a sleeping baby, it brought a calm all its own and Ian knew he wasn't going to have quite as many of those moments as he might have wanted to. She was something fragile in his arms who would grow so quickly past that into her own adventures, too quickly; he could understand why people held kids so close. It wouldn't be easy with his own either some day watching them grow day by day.

"I guess she got tired of hearing me talk," he joked softly, smiling though as he shifted his grasp from both arms to one so he could use the other to pick up the light blanket beside her swinging seat, getting her settled in first for her nap before tucking it around her.

@eilonwy-notjustgirl

Some Assembly Required || Eilian

[ianthedisastrous]

Ian didn't hate shopping. He liked spending hours shopping at the Comic Barn and would spend just as much time online scouring the Internet buying his American snacks, much to the dismay of Tony. Grocery shopping was his way of making up for tormenting his fiance with said snacking habits; and even that was enjoyable because it was time he got to spend with him every week doing those mundane sort of things Ian took the most joy in.

The very bottom of the list was shopping for clothes.

Shopping for prom clothes? Horrifying.

Ian stretched, shoulders lazing back as he stretched his legs out, watching the road pass as the van continued towards NTO. He wasn't actually stressing about clothes because he and Barley were on another errand; shoe shopping.

Which was Ian's favorite type of shopping; his sometimes questionably sprawling collection of shoes could attest to the fact. And it was just the sort of break he needed; more easily accomplished online but Barley had insisted on that little trek to NTO.

Ian had his coffee from Hatter's in hand, prom colors in mind because he and Tony had already sorted that out, and was, impending worries lurking at the edges of his brain pushed aside for the time, ready to spend the afternoon listening to Barley (playfully) tease him about his enthusiasm over the entire matter.

"There's that store near the pizza place, the big one," Ian reflected after a sip of his iced coffee, "we could start there."

@barleythebrave

Brotherly Advice || Barlian

[ianthedisastrous]

Brotherly Advice || Barlian

[ianthedisastrous]

“The best kind of people are the ones who come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people who believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people who love you, simply for being you.”

— Unknown

[ianthedisastrous]

[ianthedisastrous]

[Ian's Birthday Insta Story part three]

@foreverydinger

[ianthedisastrous]

Someday || Self Para

Dated May 17th

Ian struggles to find the right words and gets sidetracked by a call from his uncle.

Read Here

CW: vague reference to divorce

[ianthedisastrous]

“When I say, I love you, it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.”

— Joss Whedon

[ianthedisastrous]

Barley: I’m a responsible adult!

Ian: *raises an eyebrow*

Barley: okay, I’m an adult!

Ian: *raises both eyebrows*

Barley: I’m still older than you.

[ianthedisastrous]

[Ian's Birthday Insta Story part two]

@barleythebrave @notmuchofatail @notbad-justsungthatway @uffdah-riley @lucathedreamer

[ianthedisastrous]

on kindness.

@shanastoryteller // @delepiphany on pinterest // @girlmostlikely // @anotherchocolate12 on tiktok // @frogus // @xotwodstarr on pinterest // the smiths, i know it's over