ice-draco - Tumblr blog

[ice-draco]

Furina: Who the fuck-

Columbina: Language!

Furina: Whom the fuck-

Columbina: No.

[ice-draco]

Sandrone: What do you think Arlecchino will do for a distraction?

La Signora: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

La Signora: ...or they could do that.

[ice-draco]

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Columbina: I will not let you down.

Tsaritsa: Sounds fun.

Sandrone: K.

Furina: No, I'm fucking not.

La Signora: Do I have to be?

Arlecchino: Please god, I am so tired.

[ice-draco]

*The Squad is at Home Depot*

Columbina: *Fell in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*

La Signora: *Shitting in the display toilets*

Furina: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*

Tsaritsa: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*

Arlecchino: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*

Sandrone: *In the car sleeping*

[ice-draco]

*Tsaritsa teaching Furina to drive and taking La Signora along for the ride*

Tsaritsa: That's a pothole. To the left!

Furina: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

La Signora, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Furina: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Tsaritsa, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Furina: Country Roads.

La Signora: To the place.

Furina and La Signora in unison: I Belong!

Tsaritsa, crying harder: What the fuck?

[ice-draco]

*The Squad is eating dinner*

Lyney: Can you pass the salt?

Furina: *throws Arlecchino across the table*

[ice-draco]

Furina: When's the last time you slept?

Arlecchino: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Furina: A few- how many?!

Arlecchino: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Furina: What you need is sleep!

[ice-draco]

Arlecchino: What did you get Lynette for their birthday?

Lumine: I got them a kitten.

Arlecchino: Really? Me too!

Furina: I also got them a cat.

Freminet: Looks like we had the same idea.

Lumine: Lyney, please tell me you didn't get Lynette a cat as well!

Lyney: ...I got them a kitten.

*later*

Lynette, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!

[ice-draco]

Furina: Today at 7 am, Arlecchino poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Ei: I watched Arlecchino brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm.

Sara: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[ice-draco]

Furina: How many children do you have?

Arlecchino: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

[ice-draco]

Peruere & Clervie:*Playing video games*

Furina: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?

Peruere: *silence*

Clervie: *silence*

Furina, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?

Peruere & Clervie in shame: Yeah...

[ice-draco]

Lynette: Where have you been all day?

Columbina: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

[ice-draco]

Arlecchino: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Arlecchino: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Lyney: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Arlecchino: Ominous positivity.

[ice-draco]

Arlecchino: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

[ice-draco]

Furina: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Arlecchino: No.

Lyney: I did not.

Lynette: I may have actually forgotten one.

Freminet: Also no.

Furina: Oh good, neither did I.

Lumine: *Exhausted sigh*

[ice-draco]

Arlecchino: All of your existences are confusing.

The Squad: How so?

Arlecchino: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

[ice-draco]

Lyney, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Lyney: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…

Arlecchino: It was you the fuck.

Lyney: It was I the fuck…

Lynette: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Arlecchino: They the fuck.