ideasihadbutdontlike

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

City Lights

Description: Reader was trained in the art of martial arts by the infamous Sticks, the very same leader who trained the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. The reader gets caught up with Shield and decided to become an Agent. On this particular mission, they’re sent out to Russia with Bucky Barnes on two separate missions. A simple in and out. But Bucky is never far behind; how could he be when the reader is his whole entire world?

Bucky Barnes X Reader

The ever-growing volume of the drumming footsteps beneath you left you with little time to find a way out. You were stuck; the only place left to go was the door you entered through, and judging by the army on your tail, that was not an option. The watch on your wrist beeped the signal, a response to your mayday. But the room around you was cold and unforgiving. Surrounded by concrete and steel, there wasn’t a lick of light to be found. And soon, the marching of hurried footsteps faded away, and all you could hear was the drumming of your heartbeat. Instinctively, you reached for your gun. 

Kill or be killed. You’re a weapon. Get. Up. 

Your training rushed back, hitting you at once—Stick’s voice booming in your ear. 

Your environment is your greatest weapon. 

You crept out of the room, listening closely to the drum of the men coming your way. You slipped behind the door to the room. The dim light of the hall allowed just enough visibility to see the shadows rushing up on the wall next to you. 

Listen, Dammit! Get your head outta’ your ass and listen. 

There were footsteps, barely there, far behind, familiar 5th floor. Far different from the intense thudding of boots heading your way. You could see them now. And backup was only two floors down. 

The Russian idiots hunting you were just as stupid as you hoped. And it stung that they got the drop on you, honestly. They all made wide, blind turns into the cinder-block prison. 

6th floor, faster now. 

You readied your gun, waiting for the right moment. The door was the thinnest piece of wood you’d ever seen, so your plan was either slam the door and run and hope they stall; or go in guns blazing. You decided the latter was significantly cooler, and if fate decided today was your last, then you would much prefer a warrior's death. The men, there were 11 of them, previously 16. You had taken the others out earlier. They yelled at each other, frantically looking for a light source to spot you. 

About time. His footsteps, while still silent as a mouse, were much quicker now. He was around the corner.

You quietly slipped from behind the door, careful to stay out of sight. You had a clear sight towards the end of the hall. When Bucky turned the corner, you held your finger up to your lips, and pointed to your gun and the room. He nodded. Lining himself up with the opposite side of the door. 

“Пизда” 

Bucky bit his tongue. You nodded, and both spun towards the entrance, trigger-happy. Between the both of you, it was a matter of seconds before the only heartbeats left were yours and Bucky’s. Releasing your trigger, you adjusted your gun back to its rightful place between your shoulders. 

“Believe it or not,” you laughed, “I had it handled.” 

Bucky scoffed and motioned toward the mass grave you shot down, “clearly.” But his voice was light, because he knew you did. This was light work for you, nothing you haven’t done before. “How did they get you, though?” You took a harsh, weary breath. 

“There was a picture in the command room, they had it on the bulletin board. It was me, a few months ago, with my little brother in New York.” The thought of what that meant sent a shiver down your spine. Whatever the Russians were planning, you were going to figure it out. “It is actually a great picture of us, though; I’m gonna go steal it.” You said, turning around to make your way back downstairs. Bucky laughed, following suit. 

With the picture tucked safely in your jacket pocket, along with anything else you guys could find that might have helped, you walked through the dim and dirty halls out to the front entrance. 

You stopped once you were a few miles away. Tugging on Bucky’s arm, you urged him to look at you. “Look,” you nodded to your right, where the city rested below you. “We’re here so often, but I don’t think I’ve ever stopped and saw something so beautiful.” You whispered. “I never thought I would find a Russian city, one where I’ve just killed men who are planning to bomb other cities and come after my family. A city where I know Hydra lies dormant, and so much shady shit happens. The city has no right to be so beautiful.” 

Bucky looked between you and the city, the mountain you were on casting the perfect glow on both of you. Yeah, he figured you did have a point even he couldn’t deny it. But right now, as he looked at you, he saw the lights twinkling back into your eyes. The city was beautiful sure, but you were there, moonlight kissing your cheeks, captivated by the city lights. He wondered if he would ever find anything as beautiful as that. He pulled you into his side, kissing your temple. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Nothing I wouldn’t Do

Bucky Barnes 

“Gross”

Bucky grunted in agreement.

The two of you were at a local restaurant watching a couple feed each other desert. Complete with giggles and smiles bigger than their faces. The woman shrieked slightly as some of the chocolate drips down her dress.

You and Bucky look away quickly, trying your best to hide your laughter.

“Don’t ever do that to me. I swear I’ll shoot you,” you said.

Bucky laughed. “I have a metal arm,” he pointed. “You’d miss,” he sassed.

“mmm, I don’t think so,” you sassed. 

“Alright,” he laughed, “so what if you’re sick, and just staying awake takes up all your energy? What about then?” His head was tilted slightly to the side, eyebrows raised in playful accusation. 

You shook your head at him, failing to hide your smile. “I might just have to starve,” you said. You knew though, that Bucky despite his hard exterior would always do whatever he needed to help you. 

He shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips, “yeah, ok.” 

He knew it too. He would go against your every wish if it meant he could save you. It was selfish, and sometimes he felt that it was too much, but then he looked at you, and he saw the gleam in your eye as you watched that couple for the corner of your eye. He knew there was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do for you. 

Bucky sighed dramatically, twirling his fork like it was one of his knives. You bit your tongue, watching him dig into the pasta in front of him.  

“You know I’m gonna have to it now, right?” He squinted at you, glaring playfully. 

“Barnes,” you smirked, “I’d like to see you try.” 

------------

Ahh i needed to get back into writing and I havent done anything for Bucky in a hot minute. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

are u gonna do a sequel to troublesome 4s? i just want to see some sort of resolution to maven hitting his mom besides a goodnight, also the reader being pregnant again? her feelings about not wanting the second kid now was not resolved besides buckys internal monologue about needing to treat reader better.

Hi! Unfortunately, I'm not. As much as I would love to because gods know I live for domestic Bucky. Of course, children need discipline. I've just experienced too much negative feedback, so many people suggesting such harsh and borderline cruel punishments for a toddler that I just leave that up for interpretation honestly.

For example, I once published something where a kid hit her uncle, and the uncle pushed her, and yelled in her face. So many people told me it wasn't enough, he should've beat her.

Another when I wrote about a middle school boy and he lashed out, I made him angry; he yelled at his parents. The father hit him and gave him a chore list. That wasn't enough. They should've grounded him longer, taken more away, and so on.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience and explain that particular situation. It's actually why I don't write too much about kids and conflict.

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Calm and Cozy

Derek Hale x Reader 

Summary: Soft and sweet, reader comes home worn out after an exhausting day at work. Broken down, all they can think about is warmth, relaxation, and Derek.

mention of sensory overload and reckless driving

The drive home was always the most dangerous part of your day. Fighting monsters daily felt like nothing compared to going home after your shift. But, it was calm after nine hours on your feet non-stop. 

You worked the night shift today, finally leaving your job close to 1 a.m. The pain in your joints was enough to bring tears to your eyes. You sped through town, ignoring, dazed, letting your body autopilot your way home. Thoughts of a warm shower and the cozy bed waiting for you. You always wondered if Derek would be awake when you got there. Most nights, he waited up for you to make sure you made it home okay. Sometimes he fell asleep, waking just as you closed the front door. 

You smile at the thought of him; it distracts you from the aching in your muscles and the swelling of your feet.  Before you know it, the car is parked, and you’re opening the door to the loft. 

Derek looked towards the door from his spot on the bed. He closed the book he was reading, taking in your appearance. Your hair wasn’t messy, but it was out of place. Your shoulders curled forward, caving in on your frame, making you look smaller and worn out. He felt the wave of pain emanate from you, and he winced. He saw the bags under your eyes and the slight tremor in your hands as you tucked your shoes and jacket in their respective spots. He sighed lightly, admiring you, even in your current state of distress.

 You smiled at him, and he saw the shift in your demeanor. 

Your body relaxed when you saw him. Some of the tension left your shoulders, and your eyes seemed to sparkle. The smile on your lips was enough to erase the exhaustion on your face. 

He got up, moving towards you with his arms open slightly, inviting you into his embrace. You practically collapsed into him. Holding onto him like he was your lifeline. You didn’t notice the tear that escaped, rolling down your face. 

Derek wrapped his arms around you, holding you tighter. Afraid you would fall apart if he let go of you too soon. He picked you up and moved to the couch, where he held you- your head buried in his chest- for as long as you let him. 

Eventually, you pulled away, sighing at the loss of warmth. 

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you whispered. Afraid that if you spoke any louder, you would cry. Days like this --when the lights seemed too bright, and the customers too loud, the time going far too slow, and the rush seemingly never-ending -- those days were the worst. They bruised a part of your soul that needed nurturing and tending too. Something that went much faster with warm showers and Derek.  

Derek stood up, taking you with him. Not wanting to argue, you held onto his neck. He took you to the bathroom, gently set you down on the counter, and started the shower. 

You watched him with a smile as you took in his actions. This was what he did to tell you he loved you. He was never good with his words and would never rely on them to get his point across. He told you, of course, but this is what he did best. 

After your shower you slipped into Derek’s shirt he brought in. Washed your face and brushed your teeth and hair. Finally, you could just cuddle up in bed, surrounded by comfort, wrapped up in the sheets and Derek’s arms. 

He would never tell you, but he made a habit of taking some of your pain away to put you to sleep after a rough day. He’d do it slowly and he’d make sure you didn’t know. He loved that he could help you like that. That he could ease the pain, physically and emotionally at the same time. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

HC- Derek’s Kinks

1. BDSM

Derek would be into bondage, holding you down, tying you up, shoving his shirt or something in your mouth. He likes being in control, having his way with you. He’s also a bit of a masochist. He goes wild for hair pulling, and your nails digging into him.

2. Auralism (Sounds) 

He’s obsessed with the sounds you make while he teases you. Hearing the whimpers, and moans that leave you. He likes to hear how wet you are when he fingers you.

3. Nipple Play

This man adores you, every single part of you really he does, but his favorite thing to do is tease your nipples. He’ll lick and bite, trace then with his tongue and his fingers. 

He also likes when you tease his nipples. Something he didn’t realize he liked until he met you. 

4. Spanking

Going back to bdsm, Derek has a thing for discipline. He’ll spank you if you act up in public, or around the pack. If you tease him around the pack is when this side of him really comes out, with your consent of course. 

5. Praise

He loves to tell you how good you are for him, how well you take him, how perfect you look with his cock in your mouth. 

He also likes to hear it. It’s something none of his exes did and at first he didn’t even realize he was turned on by it. Hearing you tell him how good he makes you feel, your words or gasps of encouragement to keep going. It gives him drive, and he likes to know that he makes you feel good. 

6. Edging/Overstimulation 

Derek Hale is mean. Sometimes, if he’s feeling mischievous or whatever, he will stimulate you for hours. He had you going through the night once. He finally let you come once the sun began to rise. He’ll edge you until tears run down your face. He’ll also try out new things this way, find out mew ways to keep you cumming until you almost pass out. 

Derek likes yo use his strength a lot, he’ll hold you up against the wall, or pin you to the counter or the bed, where ever you guys are, he’ll make a show of how strong he is. This is something he does almost every time you have sex. He likes the way you giggle and squeal and squirm in his grip. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Teen Wolf

Day Dreams - Derek Hale X Reader smut 

Derek’s girlfriend can’t seem to focus on anything other than him. So much so that she can barely get anything done. 

Calm and Cozy - Derek Hale x Reader Fluff

Soft and sweet, reader comes home worn out after an exhausting day at work. Broken down, all they can think about is warmth, relaxation, and Derek.

mention of sensory overload and reckless driving

Headcanons: 

Derek’s Kinks 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Marvel

Marvel Universe/ Marvel AUs:

marvel/Percy Jackson

Lost In Time  - A crossover between the marvel universe and Percy Jackson, when 17 year old child of Apollo meets the Avengers ahead of her time.

Lost In Time pt. 2

Bucky Barnes:

You - This is the story of how you met and fell in love with James Barnes.

Happier - On a visit to Wakanda, you feel unworthy of Bucky Barnes.

Troublesome Fours - When Bucky is called to a mission in the middle of the night, his 4 year old is a nightmare to answer to.

Sleep - Reader can’t sleep and is embarrassed to tell Bucky the one solution that might work

Nothing I wouldn’t Do - sweet sarcasm on a date with James Barnes. 

City Lights - Reader was trained in the art of martial arts by the infamous Sticks, the very same leader who trained the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. The reader gets caught up with Shield and decided to become an Agent. On this particular mission, they’re sent out to Russia with Bucky Barnes on two separate missions. A simple in and out. But Bucky is never far behind; how could he be when the reader is his whole entire world? 

Cookies - just a quick little blurb of baking holiday cookies with Bucky. 

Steve Rogers:

Seclusion - Steve and the reader have met before, in the forties actually. He’s one of the few people in the world who knows what she’s capable of, and it’s his death that pushed her over the edge.

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Day Dreams

Derek Hale x F! Reader 

SMUT

Summary: Derek’s girlfriend finds herself unable to think about anything other than him. So much so that she can barely get anything done. Smut

All day your mind wandered. It was distracting to say the least, but mostly it was annoying, you had a job to do, a job you loved and all you could think about was the heat between your legs. And the big bad wolf waiting for you at home. It was insatiable really. The minute you woke up you were horny. 

Your thoughts flashed memories of Derek shirtless on your bed, hovering over you. Of Derek working out, leaving you to memorize every ridge of his back. The tattoo that you scratched so often.

You thought of him under you, staring up at you through your breasts. God the thought made you squirm. He loved to suck on your nipples. Teasing you relentlessly, and you loved every minute of it. 

You thought about Derek, with his head between your legs, eating you out like his life depended on it. 

 His face buried in your tits.

His fingers, dancing up your thighs.

 All you could think about was him. And then, the bastard had the audacity to show his face.

 “Hello,” your co-worker, Jenna, waved. “Earth to Y/n,” she laughed, “What is going on with you today?” 

You shook your head, trying your best to stay focused on her, and the pastries you were baking. “Nothing, what’s up?” 

She looked at you, and you knew she didn’t believe a word you said. In her defense, you’re always so in tune with your surroundings at work, so in tune that you would have never missed the timer on a single batch of cookies, let alone two. And you sure as hell wouldn’t have missed Derek Hale walking in the door.

 “Your boyfriends here,” she smiled, pointing at the counter. 

Your eyes went wide, and you felt your already elevated heartbeat quicken. You looked over and saw Derek with a mischievous glint in his eye and a smirk you knew all too well. 

“Hi,” he said. And you stood there like a deer in headlights. 

God, he looks so good, you thought. 

“Hey!” you said, a little too much enthusiasm to play it off. Besides, you knew he could smell you. “Did you want anything?” 

“Just you,” he smiled. Still watching you in amusement as you acted like his presence wasn’t making you weak in the knees. Your throat was dry, desperately searching for words. 

 “How bout a cookie?” 

“A cookie?” he laughed. 

You bushed, and groaned, “Derek”. Making the heat between your legs wetter. Remembering how you moan his name like that while he fucks you from the back. He laughed again, clearly enjoying this. “Seriously, Der, did you come here for something, or are you just here to torture me?” You squint your eyes at him accusingly. 

“Me, torture you? Never.” He leaned closer to you over the counter. “But, I could smell how wet you are from the car.” He whispered. Then, he kisses your cheek. Smiling at you, “just came to say hi.” He waved at Jenna and kissed you again. “I’ll see you later.” He winked. Walking towards the door, out to his car.

 “Dick,” you whispered, knowing damn well he heard you. And you saw him smile on his way out. 

After another agonizing 3 hours of barely staying focused, your shift was finally over. Walking into the loft, you saw Derek sitting on the couch, reading a book.

 “Hey,” he said, looking up at you with a small smile. 

You walked over to him, straddled his lap, and kissed him. You couldn’t help but grind into his lap. A whimper leaving you as you did. You felt Derek smirk into the kiss. When you pulled back for air, Derek took the chance to pick you up and move to the bed. “Derek,” you panted. “I need you”. You said and you kissed up his neck. 

He pulled off your shirt. You ran your hands through his hair and down his abs, pulling off his shirt, and pushing him back lightly. He helped you out of your jeans, his own following suit, then you moved to straddle his thighs. Admiring how his abs flexed under your touch.

 It wasn’t often that you got like this. You were almost never in control in the bed, but right now, Derek was letting you have your way with him, and you loved every second of it. You sat up, his hands on your hips as you moved your hips back and forth on his shaft. You loved the way he felt. And you loved watching him close his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy it. 

His abs flexed with pleasure, spurring you on. The tip of his cock rubbed against your clit to the rhythm of your hips. You braced yourself on his abs, holding yourself up. His hands roamed up and down your body, stopping again at your hips to guide your steady pace. 

“Derek,” You gasped. “Oh my god” 

 You were a mess. He pulled down on your hips, adding more friction to your clit. His head was thrown back, ready to let go with you. Soon, the air left your lungs and you came.

 Holding on to his arms, you let him flip you over. “Fuck me,” you moaned. “Please Derek, Fuck me!” 

He looked at you, glossed over with sweat, begging him to take you. He couldn’t help but think about how gorgeous you were. He could see the desperation in your eyes, so he slipped his cock in slowly. Watching your eyes roll back as he bottomed out. He was close, but he knew how to make you come in minutes. 

He kissed your neck, leaving marks on his way up to your lips. Sucking the spot that drove you crazy, the pulse point right below your ear. And he drove in and out of you, feeling your walls pulse around him. Your hands in his hair, pulling him closer. He moved his hand down to your clit, rubbing small circles. Smiling when you moaned and pulled him closer. “Come for me, baby.”

That was all it took. Your whole body tensed and shook, your head thrown back against the pillows, holding him tight. You felt a wave of relief, and exhaustion all at once. He came with you, moaning in your ear. 

“You gonna tell me what that was about?” He teased, slowly dropping his full weight onto you. “You haunt me, Derek Hale. You and your pretty green eyes, and your abs, and your back, god your back,” you laughed. You ran your hands along his shoulders, taking hold of his face. “You’re so fucking hot, and it’s been driving me crazy all day.” 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Seclusion

Warning: Lots of death technically. Written in 1st person reader pov. violence, and I guess a pretty graphic description of death. Enjoy (:

When my sister died, I felt it. I mean I literally felt her soul leave her body. That was my first experience with my power. Since then, I’ve been in hiding, trying to erase myself from Hydra’s radar. They got me into this mess, and I see no reason for them to own me, I was never theirs to begin with. 

I was brought into the Avengers by the one and only Nick Fury himself. Fury found me in an ally way after I spiraled out of control in Norway. I was given an ultimatum, I could join the Avengers and let the United Nations keep track of my every move. Or, I could decline the offer, and live a life of fear, always on the run from the most dangerous and powerful people in the world. I chose the government, because I figured if I let them watch me, if I gave them control they might realize they were wrong, I’m not a danger to anyone but myself. I wasn’t counting of Captain Rogers himself to prove me wrong. 

When I first met the team I learned that Steve was the one who held the most darkness in his heart, that the lifetime of war was tainting his soul. But he had a job to do, and as the “Captain” of the team, he made sure we trained to our highest potential. And he would say things like, “we need to be ready,” and “anything could happen,” to justify the rigorous training. I learned that he was a man fighting his own war within, he was fighting to keep his own good alive. And he knows who I am and what I can do. He’s seen it firsthand, as a matter of fact he was there when I killed an army on my own. Hundreds of men in Hydra uniforms dropped to the ground. He went home a hero that night. I ran away from the horrors that made me. Steve Rogers knows what I am capable of, and I wish that I could blame him now. 

The team was beaten, crushed, and wiped out by an army we were never prepared for. The once lively city of New York reduced to ashes.  

“You,” a voice said. A voice so deep, so calm and forceful it sent a shock through my body. “How are you alive?” I could feel the power radiating from him, I could feel the calmness of death that he laced into his words. 

“Y/N,” Steve choked out. I looked over to him. His ribs broken, his arms torn up, a leg snapped in half. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I felt my own heart break. “Let go, it’s okay,” he whispered, coughing up his own blood. 

I wanted to protest, in fact I was going to, but then I felt the familiar sensation of  a soul leaving it’s body. I felt his strength, his fight, I felt every bit the man Steve Rogers was. I welcomed his spirt, allowed him to consume me. He was the last one, he was the last living human soul for miles. Surrounded by my own personal hell, I surrendered to the wrath brewing inside me. 

Pitch black streams of anguished souls flew from my hands. All of them tortured, tormented, and broken. All of them with a vengeance, all of those who died surrounded by the chaos of death. The overwhelming surge of power I felt was nothing compared to my training. For the first time, I embraced who I am. 

The ash covered sky turned to black, and when the souls of the damned left nothing but me and the monster that killed my friends, I told him. 

“I am the herald of death, creator of chaos, and I am the destroyer of calm.” And I felt as the calm of death took his last breath, too engulfed in chaos to fight back. 

When the darkness faded and I stood alone, I listened. With a heavy heart I realized the souls miles away that buzzed beneath my feet moments ago were still. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Daughter of War

I know the title sucks, but I was playing around with the idea of an Ares fic so I figured I’d write it, so to the person who asked for Ares, I hope you like it. Comments and suggestions are appreciated. 

Summary: Reader (L/N: Last name {Do we even like reader insert or should I switch to an OC perspective?}) is a known daughter of the god Ares who works for the Avengers, on trial for murder. 

Anger. Complete and total rage blinded you. If you were honest you couldn't even remember what the hell you were on trial for. 

Surrounded by government officials, you couldn't help but laugh at the irony. 

"Is something funny Ms. L/N," the prosecutor, James Prescott, asked. His voice was accusatory, but his eyes told another story. In his eyes you could see his joy. You practically incriminated yourself. 

"You murdered 30 men, in cold blood, did you not?" He said.

"No, I killed them, but it wasn't murder, and my blood was boiling." 

Steve, Tony, and Nat sat behind you in the audience. All of them on the edge of their seats. 

"Ms. L/n, you are facing immediate dismissal from the Avengers, life in prison, and on top of that, mandated solitary confinement. If I were you I might want to take this seriously"

"Excuse me your honor," you said. Standing up you presented yourself to the judge and the jury. "I would like to know what makes me, what makes this case, different. The Avengers go out, sent by the United States government, to wipe out entire operations. Steve Rogers has as much blood on his hands as I do. So does Tony Stark, Sam Wilson, James Barnes, Colonel Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff. My point, your honor, is that I can't come to a reasonable answer as to why we're all here today. Yes, I killed those men. But i didn't kill civilians, i don't kill happy husbands and fathers. I killed terrorists. Men who think they have the right to shoot children on the street. I killed men who tortured and disabled my friends. I killed men who would kill me without blinking an eye. Yes, I killed those men, there's no question. But that is what I was recruited to do, my job is to "eliminate" major threats, and these men were a major threat, beyond ANY reasonable doubt. I'm not innocent, but I am more than justified." After your rant you turned and sat back in your seat, not missing Nat's smirk. 

"We ask that the jury overlook the defendant's statement," said the judge. 

This went on for hours. The only witnesses were the Avengers, and when Tony took the stand, all hell broke loose. 

"No," Tony said, his voice calm but dangerous. "She's not going to prison." He cracked a smile. 

"Matter of fact, she asked you a question, your honor, why is it that the rest of us get away with it? Is it cuz you're scared? Because she's living proof that the god of war exists. Because she was born from war? Has she proved herself dangerous?" 

"Me. Stark stay on topic."

"Oh I am on topic. If you convict her, you arrest all of us. She's right, we all have the same blood on our hands. We're all dangerous. She's an Avenger, one of the best ones. She's good at everything we throw her way, she's saved the world more than once. It's her job to kill terrorists. If you don't like that, arrest us all. Tear us down." 

-------

Skip because I'm bored and don't know what to put

-----

"Did you mean what you said in there?" You asked Tony. You were currently a free woman because of him. 

"Yeah, you are pretty damn dangerous." He laughed. 

Laughing with him you looked at him again, "would you really go down for me?" You asked. 

"You know I would. He put his hand on your shoulder, "you're family now kid." 

Tears welled in your eyes. You couldn’t remember the last time someone normal, not from Camp Half Blood, had accepted you as family. Even at camp, your cabin was always fighting. Competing to see who could be the best, who had better weapon control, who could run faster and longer, who could fight longest, who could roast marshmallows faster, who could climb the wall first. This was the first time in your life that you had felt accepted, and better" they had seen you at your ugliest. 

You were on trial for killing 30 men. Footage was leaked from the fight, and you were right front and center. Your face was morphing, it looked somehow darker, you had a ring of angry reds and oranges surrounding you. The last time you let yourself go like that, was the 2nd Titan War when you found your friends and siblings dead. Rage, like you had never felt before consumed you. The blessing of Aries. 

"You know," you took a deep breath. "I don't like doing that. The amount of rage, the violence that follows is never small. It's scary."

A tear slipped down your cheek. 

"But it's there all the time. I live in constant denial. And fear that one day I won't be able to control it. What if I just snap? What then Tony? You're gonna go down because I'm angry?" 

"We'll see," he said, "but until then you've got us, no questions asked." 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Cookies

This is just a quick thought to hopefully pull me out of my slump and lack of posting, completely unedited just raw material straight from the brain. Also it wa totally rushed because I’m trying to find a balance between mindful things that I like doing and important things in my day-to-day. 

Gn! Reader x Bucky Barnes (I don’t think I put any gender on the reader, but if I did please let me know. Thank you!) 

Summary: Reader and Bucky make cookies. That was bad Ik, but what else was there to say really?? 

Being an Avenger was a full-time job. Danger came anywhere, anytime. And sometimes, you were cruel, and used that to your advantage. Like today. You had Bucky Barnes rushing back from the store with just one word. 

"Hurry"

That's it. That’s all it took to get him rushing to your apartment. Naturally, he assumed the worst. Why else would you send such an urgent message? He was prepared for anything that was behind your door, except to be met with you in your seasonal pjs, standing at the kitchen counter. You were busying yourself with two rather large mugs of hot cocoa. Surrounded with a variety of sprinkles and bowls of icing you giggled. 

“That’s really all it takes?” You joked. Bucky stared at you in disbelief. How dare you scare him like that. 

“What was so important?” He grumbled, stepping into the apartment. As he spoke, the timer on the oven went off. 

“That,” you said, getting your oven mitts. You pulled out two trays of sugar cookies. They were all some kind of shape. Most were shaped like skulls, others pumpkins, there looked like some witches, and some weird shapes he couldn’t place. 

“Come here, Buck,” You said smiling. He went to you without a second thought, didn’t even realize the small smile on his face. You handed him a mug of hot chocolate and offered some whipped cream. 

Taking the mug in his hand, he allowed himself to bask in the domesticity of this moment. He never got to do these things, and most of it was all fairly new traditions. 

“So, these have to cool off, but I was hoping you would mix colors with me? And maybe try your hand at decorating some,” you said. You were never one to push Bucky into things he didn’t wanna do, but truthfully, he almost never said no to you. 

All of the panic was replaced by an unfamiliar warmth all over his body. For a moment, Bucky was so overwhelmed at the feeling that he was tempted to just walk away. But the look in your eyes, the way they gleamed at the idea reeled him in. He wasn’t going to let you down, especially if it was going to make you this happy. 

That night, you and Bucky began a tradition. And every year after that your friends expected Halloween treats from the Barnes house. The silly, and sometimes spooky, confections became a beacon of light in your life. They gave you, and Bucky something to look forward to, something to take the edge off. And over all, these cookies brought so much love between you and your family. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Sleep

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader can’t sleep and remembers an old trick that used to work for her. But she’s embarrassed Bucky will make fun of her. 

Word Count:426

You were restless. You were desperately tired and nothing was working. "Sweetheart," Bucky mumbled as you shifted again. "What's wrong?" He asked. He pulled on your hip, turning you to look at him. 

“I can’t sleep,” you mumbled, burying your head into his chest. He pulled you closer to him, nuzzling his nose into your neck. You felt his fingers begin to trail lightly up and down your back. And, while you appreciated the effort, all it was doing was tickling you. 

“Bucky, that tickles,” you giggled. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he flopped over. Looking you dead in the eye. 

“What can I do?” He asked. 

Now, you had been with Bucky long enough to comfortably sleep in the same bed together. However, you weren’t the one with sleep issues. So, Bucky doesn’t exactly know about your secret little comforts, and quite frankly you were embarrassed to tell him. You were afraid that he would laugh at you and make you feel like it was weird.

“Y/N?” He whispered. You had zoned out while debating whether it was worth the risk or not. “What’s going on?” He asked, concern blatantly on display. 

“Nothing,” you said. “I just can’t sleep. I don’t know why, Buck.” Looking at him with tired eyes, you decided it might be worth it. Taking a deep breath you took his hand. 

“Lay with me,” you said. And who was Bucky to deny you? So, he laid down with you, your back to his chest, and his arm around your waist. 

“There is something that might work,” you mumbled. He hummed, waiting for you to tell him what to do. 

“Promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“I promise,” he said, kissing your cheek. 

So, you took his hand and put it on your boob so he was almost craddeling you. His arm took up most of your chest, if not all of it, so you were pretty much surrounded by Bucky. The warmth that surrounded you was soothing. But it was the warmth, the comfort, and the protection of having his hand cupping your breast in such a newly intimate way that made you all warm and fuzzy inside. 

“This is what you were worried about?” He laughed, a breath laugh that showed his disbelief and his amusement. 

“Mhmm,” you hummed. 

“I would never make fun of you, least’ not for this,” he said. Pulling you in tighter, Bucky fell asleep with his arm tight around you. And you, well you drifted off with the security of having him there. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Can you do the lost in time but with the daughter of Aries

Hello! I appreciate the enthusiasm, but i want to leave Lost In Time as it stands. I really like how it turned out, and i don't want to taint that by taking parts of it and reusing it.

HOWEVER, I am totally open to writing for other demigods. Is that the right term??? For the kids of other gods?? Anyway.. I would do that, just not with Lost in Time because I just don't want it to be an obvious rewrite. Does that make sense??

So if anyone wants a Percy Jackson/Avenger kinda thing, or one or the other let me know.

But I'll start writing an Ares fic soon. Maybe ill make it a Greek God series.

Thanks again for the interest and im sorry, but i just cant bring myself to do that.

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Lost In Time (2)

SUMMARY: This is the prelude to Lost in Time, answering the question, How did the Avengers lose one of their own? 

Word Count: 2,224

The italics is present day for the Avengers. Also this picture is my background lmao. 

Accepting that you were supposed to work with the Avengers was mind boggling. It was weird, and yet not totally out of your element. In a weird way you felt at home here. There were people who could do crazy things, the same way you and others at Camp could.

Right now you were following Strange, Steve, and Tony to the common room. Taking in the advancement in technology made your head hurt. And you wondered if you would remember this when you were sent back. 

"So how exactly did you "lose" me?" You asked, sitting on one of the chairs in the common room. 

"Well," Tony started, stopping to collect himself. The room grew tense with silence. Steve looked angry and sad, and all of that left you feeling uneasy. 

You were so excited; it was your first day off in months. Being an Avenger was extremely time consuming. 

You were practically bouncing off the walls of the compound, you were so excited. You had made plans with Annabeth to go visit Chiron at Camp Half-Blood. Between being a demigod and an Avenger, the Avengers got 98% of your time. It’s not like you were complaining, you were so over being the gods little pawn. Still, you missed your friends and the sentiment of Camp. 

You said a quick farewell to your team as you stepped into the elevator with Annabeth, “Don't get in too much trouble without me!” You called as the doors closed. 

The ride to Long Island was full of laughter and catching up. You haven't really talked to anyone outside of your mom and the Avengers in almost a year. Anyway, Percy and Annabeth decided they were going to get married despite Hera. And you, well you were in New York fighting the battles so no one else had to. Approaching Half-Blood Hill you pulled the car off to the side of the road.

After greeting your old friend Peleus (The dragon that guards the fleece), you stepped through the barrier. The smell of the strawberry fields, the warmth of the sun, the sound of arrows hitting their targets, and swords clashing, kids laughing. It all brought you right back to being a 17 year old half-blood, when nothing was more important than making the most of the summer. The faint music from Apollo cabin drew you in for a second. Looking over at the cabins made your chest bubble with pride. You and your friends, your family even, fought so hard for this. For once, you felt truly at peace standing next to those strawberry fields. You were home, you grew up here, and all at once the weight of your influence stole your breath. You helped rebuild this place, and against all odds you were alive at 30 to appreciate it. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Annabeth said, standing next to you. She was doing the same thing. Reminiscing, allowing her walls to come down in the safe place that is Camp Half-Blood. 

“Yeah,” you laughed breathlessly. “This is amazing.” You looked at her. “Let’s go see Chiron.” You and Annabeth made your way over to the Big House, where Chiron was standing talking to some campers. You guys stood back until he was finished, but their constant glances your way made him turn. 

“Annabeth, Y/N,” He said with a huge smile. “Welcome back!” He turned his attention back to the campers. “Michael, Kya, give these two the full tour. Then bring them to Cabin 11” Chiron said, The two older kids, whom you assimes were counselors, nodded, leading the two smaller boys away. 

“Is it just me or do they look strikingly like Percy?” You whispered to Annabeth. She nodded, looking just as perplexed as you felt. You figured Poseidon was no longer under oath, but you actually weren't expecting him to have any more demigod children. Meanwhile, a glance over at Cabins 1 had you biting your tongue. New campers poured in and  out of Zeus’ cabin which was pretty on brand for Zeus, you thought. 

“Walk with me ladies,” Chiron said. “A lot has changed since you’ve been gone.” So, the two of you walked with Chiron through the mess hall, where dozens of new tables stood. When you walked over to admire the renovated cabins, a boy, not much older than 12 maybe 13 ran up to you. 

“You’re Y/F/N Y/L/N right?” He asked. The kid had sandy brown hair and excited blue eyes.

“I am,” you smiled at him. 

“No way! I’m Dean, I’m in Apollo cabin. You’re like a legend! And you’re an Avenger! That’s so cool.” Figures. Most of these kids were from New York, and the majority of them knew who the Avengers were. 

“Nice to meet you Dean. Listen, I’ll swing by the archery range later, the hour before dinner. Maybe I’ll see you there.” You ruffled his hair and nudged him along. 

The time flew by, and before you knew it, it was time for Dinner. You were walking with the Apollo cabin over to the Dining pavilion. The day was spent with Annabeth and Chiron walking around camp, meeting and training campers, and hanging out with the Apollo kids. Lacy Partick was head counselor these days, nice girl. As you sat for your last meal at Camp, you were with Chiron and Annabeth. Your phone rang, interrupting your conversation. 

“Work calls?” Chiron asked. 

“I don’t know, Excuse me for a second.” You said, walking away from the noise of the pavilion. 

“Hello?” You answered. The call was from an unknown number. 

“Y/N?” A woman called from the phone. 

“Speaking, who is this?”

“My name Is Jenna McAllister, I work with S.H.I.E.L.D. We need you to come in ASAP.” She said, the urgency in her voice made you tense with worry. 

“Okay. Give me a minute,” You said, putting her on hold. You ran back to Annabeth. “I have to go, I’m so sorry.” You said. Luckily, being an Avenger meant these things happen, and being a demigod/demigod trainer Annabeth and Chiron were more than familiar with last minute quests. 

“Go,” Annabeth said, “I’ll call Percy.” You nodded and looked at Chiron.

“It was great to see you, Chiron. The Camp is absolutely amazing. I’ll be back soon, I swear” You said. 

Chiron laughed, “I’ll hold you to that dear. Go.” he said, waving you off. So you ran. You ran down the hill into your car. Starting the car you took Jenna off hold. 

“Alright McAllister, what’s going on?” 

“Our sources are telling us the Avengers are being held captive somewhere in Boston.” 

“Hold on, you mean to tell me every one of them is out of commission?” You asked, in disbelief. 

“That’s what we think. None of them are responding, it’s been hours.” She said. No, no, no, no, nonono, you thought. No them, not your family. “We’re sending in a team, we were hoping you would lead it.” 

“Of course, have a jet ready, I’ll be there in 20.” 

“Yes ma’am.” She said, “We’ll have all of your weapons ready to go as well.

“Thank you,” You said. The call was over, but your mind raced as you took the fastest way to the compound. Speeding through New York might not have been your best choice, but at this point it was all you could do. You had managed to reach the compound in 15 minutes, going 90 through the city and on the rural roads leading up to the building. 

You were met in the hangar with a team dressed in combat gear, guns strapped and ready to go. 

“Y/N!” You recognized Fury’s voice. Your suit and weapons are all on board. You have a team of 14 of our top agents. There’s a box on top of your suit, it’s an earpiece in it. Wear it. You’re in charge, Bring 'em' home, whatever it takes.” You nodded. 

“See you soon boss,” You said, waving the team into the jet. 

Landing in Boston you were suited up and ready to go. You were going to split the team in two, enter the building from both entrances and meet in the middle. The “Building” was an inconspicuous Brown Stone in the middle of Boston. That meant you had to walk to the building as discreetly as possible in an attempt to attract as little attention as possible. 

Your half of the team was going in through the front door, the other was going through the side. Kicking in the door you cleared the first three rooms as quickly as you could. Looking for any signs of the Avengers.

It wasn’t long before you came across the disaster that was the basement. There were holes in the walls from Clint's arrows, repulson beams, Steve’s shield, bullets, everything you could think of marked these walls. The blood splattering the walls and floor was what got to you. Who or What had the power to take down the Avengers. Hand on your comms you asked the other team how it was going. The “Captain” of that team had nothing but family pictures and soccer schedules. “Come down to the basement. We’re searching every inch of this place until we get an answer.” “Spread out, take pictures, document everything. Then Fuck it up. Push on the walls, look for anything unusual and run with it. You find ANYTHING, you let me know. Got it?” You said in your most commanding voice. You were trained for this, but this was the most high stake mission you’d ever been on. 

Surveying the room, you noticed a faint glow behind one of the bricks. It was a faint golden hue, much like that of Celestial Bronze. Reaching toward the brick you pushed it. To your amazement, the surrounding bricks pulled apart harmoniously to reveal a pathway. It was buried into the ground, and had to be about 10 feet deep, but at the end the golden hue was brighter.

 “Okay,” You whispered. “Whatever’s down there is not going to be friendly. We need to be quiet. Our main goal is to get in, find the team, get them out. Who wants to come?” No one raised their hand. And you couldn't blame them. You didn’t want to go down the tunnel either but your friends were down there. 

“Alright, you three, you’re staging here to cover us. Anything goes down, or comes up, deal with it. The rest of you follow me.” You turned, putting your bow on your back and pulling out your knife of Celestial bronze. Leading the team through the tunnel you listened for any signs of monsters. You had a bad feeling about this. This was pure “Mythology” and you weren't happy about it. Reaching the end of the tunnel you caught sight of Steve’s shield. Peeking around the corner, you saw the team, in a cage of whatever was strong enough to keep them there. Signaling the S.H.I.E.L.D. team to wait for you, you went over to the Avengers.

 “Y/N,” Nat whispered. 

“Hey guys, what are we dealing with?” You asked. 

“It’s some kind of dragon,” Tony said. “Nothing we threw at it worked. And it’s got little minions.”

You had an idea of who they were talking about. One of Apollo’s greatest enemies was Python. A dragonesque snake. In the last war against Gaia you had slain Python again and again, until he finally stayed dead. 

“I think he wants me.” You said. 

“Y/N, whatever you're thinking, stop it.” Natasha said. 

You had grown closer to Natasha than most of the other Avengers. She was like a sister to you, and that’s why it was so easy for you to make the decision. 

“I’m sorry Nat,” you whispered. 

“Python!” you yelled. “Come out here. Let’s make a bargain.” You said, looking at Natasha the whole time. 

“Y/N stop it!” She yelled. The booming footsteps alerted you of Python’s presence. 

“We meet again.” Python said. He spoke in a combination of a hiss and a growl. It was unnerving to say the least. 

“Python, release these people.” You demanded. 

 Python laughed, a bone chilling sound that you swore on your life you never wanted to hear again. 

“Why would I do that?” He asked. 

“Because you can have me. Release them and you can do whatever you want with me. They have nothing to do with this.” You said, glancing at the team behind him still in the tunnel. 

Python laughed again, “Very Well.” Reaching out, he grabbed you in one of his giant claws. Moving over to the cage he wiggled you in front of them. Natasha covered her mouth to contain her sob. Steve, Tony and Clint looked at Python with searing rage. “One wrong move and she dies tonight.”  He opened the cage and walked away with you to the depths of his lair. 

Taking their confiscated weapons, the Avengers met the S.H.I.E.L.D. team in the tunnel. On their way up they heard the sound of chains, and your screams. But they knew there was nothing they could do right then. They just had to move quickly. 

“You saved us,” Steve said. His head down. “You saved all of us.”

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Expansion???

So I was thinking about writing for Percy Jackson characters, the Avengers, and quite possibly The Cruel Prince. Although I’ve only read The Cruel Prince I’m working on The Wicked King right now. Let me know if any of these interests you! 

Feel free to leave a request!

Full Disclosure: I am busy with school and college apps right now so I can’t promise anything. And I’ll always try my best to write our favorite characters, I just have more practice with specific characters like Bucky and Sam. 

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Thank you so much for the things you write, I appreciate them a lot! I just wanted to ask how old you are? You don’t have to be specific, I just wanna know if you’re over 18. Thank you

Wow, Thank you! I had no idea writing these things would have any kind of impact. And Im 18!

Since im already here i just wanted to address Troublesome Fours... I am a big sister to 5 year old twins and stuff like that happened in my house a lot. So if anyone was curious, a lot of the story was real for me. Of course readers are allowed and even encouraged to relate to it or even just read it in their own way.

[ideasihadbutdontlike]

Troublesome Fours

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky leaves for a mission in the middle of the night. That does not go over well with your son, leaving you feeling like a bad mom. 

Word Count: Unnecessarily long (But cute I think) 

The blaring of someone's ringtone was the beginning of the worst two days of your life. Sam had called your husband at 4 in the morning with a mission that absolutely could not wait. It was something to do with a terrorist threat, and that was all you knew. So Bucky grabbed his jacket and kissed you and your son goodbye. It was the first time in Maven's little life that his father left in the middle of the night. Typically, if either you or Bucky had to leave he was warned and it was a big process. You were beginning to think that was a mistake.

When your son woke up to find the house void of his father he went nuts. First he cried. You tried sitting down with him, and pulled out all the techniques you knew to help him calm down. But it was pointless. That boy screamed and cried for hours. It broke your heart, hearing your baby scream out for his daddy. On your 37th, yes you counted, attempt at being gentle and understanding, your four year old gave you a bloody nose. Which, of course, only made him cry more. 

It was hard. You couldn't get your baby to calm down. Deciding it might be best, you scooped him into his closed off play area and went to clean up your nose.

Upon reaching the bathroom you let yourself fall apart. A few tears escaped as you thought of how much of a failure you were. The thought that you were the last thing your son wanted was enough to consume you whole. Still, you had a child in the next room who needed to be tended to. So you wiped the blood off your face, giving yourself a few extra pats of cold water to calm down. 

All day you had struggled to get Maven to eat or drink anything. Despite your best efforts and even begging him he refused. Coming back into the living room you found your son cuddled up with the Bucky Barnes teddy bear his Uncle Sam got for him when he was born. "Oh baby" you sighed, sitting cross legged next to him. He whined and squirmed away from you. 

"I want daddy," he whined. Pushing away your hurt you tried to reason with him. 

"I know you want daddy sweetheart. I want daddy here too. But Maven, we both know daddy would want you to eat today." You said in the nicest tone you could conjure up. But yet again your child screeched and pulled away. 

"Maven Grant Barnes that's enough!" You yelled. "You are going to eat and that's it." You were desperate, and you would admit it wasn't your finest moment. You lost control, between your toddler kicking and screaming and crying all day, feeling like you just weren't enough for him, and worrying about your husband out on a mission and what he would say when he came home, you snapped. In your defense your child woke up at 6:30 am and has yet to eat or drink a single thing at 4 in the afternoon. To say you were stressed was an understatement. Your house looked like a bomb went off. 

All day you had tried different methods to help your son. You had tried distraction with toys. Talking to him, initiating an engaging conversation. You tried explaining to him that Bucky would be home soon. You told him that his daddy would do anything if it meant he got to come home to his baby boy. You tried the tv, music, games, you tried playing and reading and physical contact like hugs and muscle therapy (like squeezing the kids muscles gently to relieve stress from their body). You tried getting him to breathe with you. Hell you even let him try to work it out by himself while you made him a hopeless breakfast and lunch. Everything you could think of, you tried. And every time,  without fail, he threw a tantrum and kicked or pushed or slapped you away. 

Of course when he hit you with toys or straight up hit you, you did your best to explain to him why that was wrong and that it wasn't right or nice to hit people because he's upset. You tried time-outs and taking toys for the day. Needless to say you were both having a rough day and you were beyond drained and feeling like shit. 

You took his arm, firmly but not enough to hurt him, and brought him to the dining room. You put him in his chair. You bent down to his eye level and looked into his glossy baby blues. "Maven, listen to me." You said. He furrowed his brows but regardless you could tell he was listening, he was similar to Bucky in that way. "I need you to eat, even if it's just half of your bowl." He started to whine and push back in his seat. "Maven, I promise you will feel a little better after you eat." You said, looking at him. "Or guess what," you paused. You piqued his interest, you could tell. "Well, when Daddy comes home he's gonna be sad and even mad that you won't eat for Mommy. You know all those big feelings you have today? That's how Mommy and Daddy feel when you don't eat."

Maven looked at you and nodded. "Okay" he whispered. You felt the tears in your own eyes, kissing his forehead you whispered, "thank you baby." You got up and went to make him his favorite meal. Your kid loved taco bowls. You and Bucky often talked about how lucky you were that your son wasn't a picky eater. He loved the avocado, the tomatoes, he even liked the lettuce. It took you five minutes to heat up the premade chopped meat and dice the avocado and tomato and you gave him some ripped pieces of lettuce and soft tortilla. You also made yourself a bowl while you were there since you had forgotten to eat today too. 

Coming back into the dining room you were relieved to find your son exactly where you had left him sipping on his cup of water. Putting the bowls down you sat and looked at your baby. "Maven?" You said. He looked up at you while playing with his fork. "I want you to know that it's okay to be upset. Do you know that?" 

"Yes," he whispered. 

"Okay that's good. I think we both need to work on understanding what you need when you're sad or angry. What do you think?" 

"I just want Daddy," he said. The tears pooled in his eyes again. 

"I know, baby. But Daddy isn't here right now, and that doesn't mean we can stop taking care of ourselves right? We can feel sad and miss Daddy and still eat and play and have fun. Daddy wants us to do all those things don't you think?" You said, putting all of your empathy and happiness you had into that statement. And to your luck Maven nodded. He agreed with you and you felt like you won the lottery. 

"So, how do you feel about eating dinner together, and we can give you a shower and wash the bad day away. Then, we can watch a movie." His little face lit up. And that's h8w the rest of your night went. Maven fell asleep with his head on your leg halfway through Luca. So you tucked him in with hopes that tomorrow would be better. 

It was not. It was absolutely not better. 

Bucky could hear his son screaming from the driveway. Checking the time he realized it was two hours past his bedtime. When he opened the door you met his eye from the living room floor. He saw the tears in your eyes and made his way over. "Take your son. I don't care what you do with him. Just make it stop. Maven was kicking and screaming on the floor in the kitchen. His pajamas were thrown on the floor. You had run upstairs to your bedroom leaving Bucky to handle it. 

Now typically, you wouldn't have done that, you would've stayed and tried to work it out together, especially since Bucky just came in from a mission. But tonight your child decided he was not going to bed without Bucky no matter what. There was a hole in your Dining room wall where he had put his foot through it kicking off his pajama pants. He screamed that he wanted his Daddy for the last three hours. And you just couldn't take it. You once again felt like you weren't good enough for your own son. You went into your bathroom and closed the door, tears streaming down your face. 

Meanwhile, Bucky walked over to your son, "Maven." He said, using his military voice. He stopped his tantrum, and Bucky was met with his tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Maven reached out for Bucky, and despite his confusion and his worry for you Bucky picked him up and held him close. 

"Hey buddy," Bucky said softly, wiping the tears off his son's cheeks. "What's going on huh?" Maven buried his face in Bucky's neck. A few minutes later, after Maven caught his breath he mumbled, "I missed you". And Bucky's heart broke. He could figure out what happened and hugged him a little tighter. 

"I missed you too, baby. I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you." He whispered, fighting back his own tears as Maven sniffled. "Buddy, I promise you we can spend all day together tomorrow, but you need to get ready for bed now." Maven nodded and Bucky put him down, letting him gather his clothes off the floor and re-dress himself. 

When he was dressed and fresh faced, Bucky walked him to his room. On his way up the stairs, he could hear your faint sobs coming from your ensuite. He wasn't sure if Maven could hear it though and decided it would be best to get him in bed before focusing all his attention on you. In Maven's room, Bucky turned on the night light and the white noise machine just in case. When he turned around Maven was already under the cover. "Daddy," Maven called. 

"Yeah bub?" 

"Is Mommy crying because of me?" He asked. His voice was small and tired, but he was clearly distraught at the idea.

Sucking in a deep breath Bucky decided to wing this one. "No, buddy. Mommy just had a bad day. It happens sometimes." It seemed like his words worked. Or maybe Maven was just too tired to argue. 

"Give her a hug." 

Bucky laughed, "I will, and I'll be sure to give her one just from you." He hugged his son and kissed his head. "Goodnight Maven, I love you" Bucky whispered. 

"Go'night Daddy, I wuv you" Maven mumbled, his eyes closed and half asleep. Bucky stayed for a minute, with his hand on Maven's chest until he was sure he was asleep. Then he ran to you. 

He knocked before letting himself in the bathroom where you were sitting against the wall with your head between your knees. You weren't crying anymore but you were clearly still hurting. He sat next to you, placing a gentle hand on your knee. 

"It's okay baby." He said and you let out a cynical laugh. Picking your head up you rubbed at your face with your hands.

"No Buck it's not." The tears were already welling in your eyes again. Bucky didn't know what was going on, all he wanted right now was to help you. He put arm out to you and you instinctively leaned into him. And you sat, for a while, in silence just gathering your thoughts and leaning on Bucky. After quite some time, you spoke up, "all he wanted was you." You spoke softly. Recalling the last two days with your son was not something you really wanted to do right now. But honestly, you had to or it was gonna ruin you. 

"Nothing. Nothing I did for him or with him was enough. He screamed and cried and wouldn't eat for almost the whole time." You sighed. Bucky had thought that might have been the case when he came home, but he had no idea it was that bad. 

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." You shook your head. 

"It's not your fault." Bucky interrupted you before you could finish that thought. He pulled away to look at you. 

"It's not your fault either. He's a kid, these things happen. I left. In the middle of the night. I've never done that before, not to him." 

"I couldn't stop it, Bucky. I couldn't help him."  

"You tried. You didn't stop trying and that's what matters right?" 

"God Bucky you don't get it!" You choked "I can't even handle the kid I have, how am I supposed to handle two!" Bucky froze. Your hand flew to your mouth, eyes blown wide. That was not how you wanted to tell him. 

"Are you?" He trailed off, biting his lip. You nodded. The two of you had discussed the possibility of having another baby. But after the shot show you just lived you weren't sure if it was a good idea. But Bucky, oh he knew that. The minute you said you weren't capable he knew how you felt. It's exactly how he felt when you were pregnant with Maven. But his smile, the tears of joy and excitement that filled his eyes was enough to push those thoughts away for now. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you like his life depended on it. Because to him it did. You were his life, you, Maven, and his unborn child were his world. And he made a mental note to remind you how amazing you are everyday.