idiotswitcher

[idiotswitcher]

birdification beam!!

[idiotswitcher]

Zelda and Link, chillin' in transit

[idiotswitcher]

happy national impersonate your favorite vigilante day to those who celebrate

Part 2

[idiotswitcher]

I know that every batfam member would be able to survive the five nights at Freddy's Pizzeria, but I like to imagine they all go about it in different ways:

Bruce: figures out that there are souls haunting the animatronics and starts internally debating the ethics of (adopting) rehabilitating haunted and homicidal animatronics, on the basis that the souls are still children. Survives the five nights and plays by the rules, although his power level remains suspiciously high at the end of each night.

Dick: would have an absolutely joyful time spending five nights inside that cursed building as an adrenaline junkie. He's also weirdly gifted at excelling in obscure jobs such as a nightguard fighting for his life.

Jason: the second one of them moves, the building is going up in flames.

Tim: figures out how to jam the doors shut without them draining his power and uses that to his advantage to get work done, since he's already awake and doing nothing of importance.

Damian: convinces himself to guard by the rules without trying to sabotage the equipment and succeeds. Whenever an animatronic pops up at one of the windows, he starts insulting them. He also makes sure to insult them whenever he's done with his shift to assert dominance. Additionally, he nicknamed each of them after his brothers since they remind him of his everyday nuisances.

Barbara: being oracle has prepared her for this moment — quite literally child's play for her, so she multitasks between babysitting vigilantes and homicidal furry ghouls. (aren't they the same thing atp?)

Cass: she would manage to predict their movements and slip away to jumpscare them instead, running away before they manage to do any damage. Why stay inside the office when you can hassle the animatronics to hide in the office from you?

Steph: adrenaline junkie pt.2, although she would treat it like a 'let's play' and video call either Tim or Cass to share the experience with them — all they hear is her screaming, cursing and then laughing when they pop up.

Duke: unironically would also be hunting the animatronics from the shadows. He does it on the first night and they decide not to annoy him again for the rest of the week.

Edit: this is unironically being written by me, in the form of Nightwing becoming a night guard. will update with the link to the fic once i am done.

[idiotswitcher]

Batman gives each of his Robins a different code to use when they’re in trouble and need immediate extraction. He promises that when they call, he’ll drop everything just to get to them, come hell or high water.

Jason, during his time with the League, shares his code with Damian, to be used “only in the direst of circumstances, when you have exhausted all other options.” He doesn’t know if Bruce will answer, given how fractured their relationship was before he died, but it is better than nothing. Every tool counts when they live such dangerous lives.

Damian uses it exactly once, and Bruce, who still feels the loss of his son like a yawning chasm in his chest, responds to it even though he knows it can’t be Jason because Jason’s dead. What he finds, instead of Jason, is a boy in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-small feet, with a face that Bruce sees himself and Talia in, requesting asylum from a grandfather who wishes to possess his body. Bruce doesn’t question how this boy who is so clearly his son knew the code. Talia al Ghul is resourceful and places family above all; the code is not beyond her abilities to discover, and she is not above using Bruce’s desperate love for his dead son to ensure that hers does not meet the same fate.

Bruce takes Damian in, because of course he does, and since Jason is dead he allows Damian to keep using the code. After all, it’s not like Jason is alive to use it, right? If someone uses the code, there’s no one it could be but Damian, right?

The next time the code is used, Bruce traces the location to Gotham even though Damian was supposed to be in Bludhaven visiting Dick. But whatever happened that resulted in Damian being in Gotham can wait, because he has already failed one son and he will not fail another, his son is in trouble and he needs to get to him, he needs to—

What he finds, instead of Damian, is a boy (just eighteen, too young, but also too old, but also he will always be a boy to him) in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-large feet (when had he gotten so big), wearing the face of his dead son.

(Who, maybe, just maybe, may no longer be so dead.)

[idiotswitcher]

Dick: Sorry guys, Bruce AND Alfred said no more cookies for today

Damian: this vexes me

Tim: so not demure

Duke: I’m going to eat Damian

Jason and Steph: Destiel didn’t die for this

Cass: ☝️❓🤨🙄

Dick: Please guys what the fuck are you saying

[idiotswitcher]

Tim showing up to Wayne Manor aged 13 wearing a t shirt saying "I'm not the step Robin I'm the Robin that stepped up"

[idiotswitcher]

it's genuinely funny to me how much frank doesn't care about religion. or culture or mythology. he looks at his grandma's stuff and all he can see are weird statues. he's such an idgafer. he's such a "things are only real if i can see them" truther.

[idiotswitcher]

the ames percabeth multiverse ft @captain-jackson crossover

[idiotswitcher]

"I played dumb"

"Was it hard?"

Bonus:

[idiotswitcher]

I see a lot in fanon of Jason being Tim’s fav robin - and I’m guilty of enjoying it and posting content in that same vein - but honestly we need to sit down and think critically for a second… Tim’s favorite robin is definitely Dick - after all he did sorta bring start everything for Tim as he is a pillar in his orgin story. But like we all write the Jason and Tim brother relationship all sweet and reconciliation (which, in current canon is sorta true, if apprehensive) when in reality Tim actively makes fun of Jason during titans tower when he’s getting his shit handed to him, would call him a flop to his face, and probably barely tolerated his Robin in comparison to Dick’s out of respect for the name. And Jason is just the definition of Cain instinct mixed in with imposter syndrome, and really doesn’t gaf all too much about Tim besides baseline animosity shown in the beginning of their relationship (as it seems that we’ve all collectively decided to stop recognizing any comic after 2010 apparently- which… is fair to be honest 😭) - BUT ANYWAY I just thought it was very silly haha to find that we’ve all somehow interpreted their relationship one way when it’s really written a completely different way, I just love the extravagant game of telephone we all play when making fandom content/spaces.

[idiotswitcher]

[idiotswitcher]

i love how in every high school musical movie they were like... so troy has to have an extremely dramatic breakdown song, gabriella gets a melodramatic breakup song, and sharpay gets a musical number where she just slays as hard as possible for no reason whatsoever

[idiotswitcher]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED AND JASON

🎂🥳🪅🎁🍰🎊🎉✨🧁🎂🥳🪅🎁🍰🎊🎉🧁🎂🥳🪅🎁🍰🎊🎉✨🧁🎂🥳🪅🎁🍰🎊

<<Part 42<< Master List >>TBC>>

[idiotswitcher]

i REFUSE any hcs that make any of the poc batfam unable to cook. don't you dare.

[idiotswitcher]

Kate really be out here unintentionally bringing up the Batfam's trauma, like:

She's done Jason and Barbara dirty 😂

[idiotswitcher]

My friend told me he read my fic today reminding me that it exists. So now, not that anybody asked for this, here are some of my fav moments in it:

If ya haven't read it 👀 You should uh totally give it a shot 👀 you know, if ya want 👀 if ya like whatcha see 👀 no pressure 👀

In The Waiting Room by Garfunkle53