ienjoytoasters - Tumblr blog

[ienjoytoasters]

You ever watch something and you’re only half paying attention to it and you start listening and they say the most unhinged things?

Some examples for me are:

“Is a shy guy a helicopter? I think so!”

“Oh my god!! We’re murder nepo-babies!?!?!”

“Sometimes I want to unhinge my jaw like a snake, I think that’d solve most my problems.”

“The back mouth!!!?”

“We have not one, not two, not thre—, we have three cans of frosting…!”

[ienjoytoasters]

Sometimes I sit down for so long I make myself think I’m short, then I stand up next to a full grown adult and look down at them. So, guess I’m not so short after all?

[ienjoytoasters]

I have restocked my desk!!!

[ienjoytoasters]

Not sure if this implies the sweet bread was made to save humanity or not, but the prospects are absolutely absurd beyond imagination.

[ienjoytoasters]

@i-am-a-snom

I made a snom out of pipe cleaners and Pom-poms for a science project because of you, it is now on a shelf.

[ienjoytoasters]

Some of my favorite quotes of all time.

“My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes and dreams” ~ Anne of green gables

“You wide-eyed girls, you get it right” ~ Space song by beach house

[ienjoytoasters]

I’m time lapsing the germination of an orange tree seed out of spite because I was having some SEEDLESS dole mandarins from the little cups and nearly choked on the seed.

I also am growing a lemon tree, I don’t even like lemons. What am I going to do with the lemons?

[ienjoytoasters]

Once I killed a level three orc at level one it’s peanut butter, all my party members ended up coating their weapons in peanut butter, and I just threw the jar at it’s mouth.. My dm ended up banning peanuts from the rest of the campaign because of my tomfoolery.

The orc was allergic, and went into shock and just died.

(The dm also had to bring in a d100 from then on to determine if something had an allergy. Because of me.)

A paladin that was supposed to kill him came in when the orc was already dead and shoved it down a well because the dm forgot about their existence amongst the chaos.

If you know you’re gonna die anyway, might as well get creative. Use anything around you to cause an allergic reaction, there’s like thousands of allergies out there. Grass, berries, citrus, milk, nuts, flowers, bees, cats, dogs, leaves, wood, just to name a few.

[ienjoytoasters]

I love the fact I am writing a book where the whole premise is that both of the two main characters are having a mental breakdown.

I just realized….

They’re both orphans.

[ienjoytoasters]

Dear deer 🦌💖✨💕🧚

[ienjoytoasters]

Toasters

Okay, but WHAT IN ALL THAT IS HOLY DO THE KNOBS ON TOASTERS DO? Like my toaster goes up to 9 but I can’t put anything in past 5 without it being burnt. I’m honestly horrified to put bread in and set it to 9, that will start a fire.