igiinite

[igiinite]

Sometimes, we say "Bye" to hear someone say "Stay."

[igiinite]

me crying in the middle of the night because i don't understand what i'm feeling. everything is built up, sadness, anger and guilt

[igiinite]

Happy Birthday my love

[igiinite]

There are days when I wake up, but I’m not really awake. It’s like I’m still stuck in that half-dream state, only the dream is my own life, and it feels too far away to touch. I move through everything, but it’s like I’m not even here. The thoughts in my head don’t match the motions of my body. There’s a disconnect, like I’m not in control of anything anymore. I’m just a passenger in my own life.

People talk to me, they ask how I’m doing, and I give them the answers they want to hear. “I’m okay.” “I’m fine.” But I’m not fine. I’m not even close to being fine. Every word feels like a lie, but I keep saying it because it’s easier than explaining the suffocating weight that sits on my chest. It’s easier than telling them how tired I am—tired of pretending, tired of feeling like I’m sinking deeper every day, and most of all, tired of being invisible in a world that doesn’t even notice.

I can’t remember the last time I felt anything real. It’s like my emotions are sealed behind glass, and no matter how hard I press my hands against it, I can’t break through. I feel nothing, but I also feel everything, all at once. The emptiness is louder than the pain, and the silence in my head screams at me, reminding me of all the things I can’t fix, all the things that are beyond my reach.

I’ve stopped asking for help. I’ve stopped hoping that someone will reach out and see me, really see me, because no one can. They can’t even hear the things I’m not saying, the cries for help buried deep beneath the surface. And I’m not sure if I’m asking for help anymore. Maybe it’s easier to stay hidden, to keep all of this inside, to let the weight pull me down instead of facing the exhaustion of trying to keep it together.

I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. The days blur together until I can’t tell one from the next. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Maybe I’m waiting for something to change, but I don’t know if it ever will. Maybe I’m just waiting for the fog to lift, even though I know deep down that it probably never will.

I used to dream of a life that was full of something. Full of meaning, full of joy, full of hope. Now, I don’t even know what those words mean anymore. I feel like I’m just surviving, just passing through each day, watching everything happen around me, but never really living in it. There’s a part of me that wants to fight, to pull myself out of this, but that part is so quiet now. It’s buried under so much sadness, under so many doubts, that I don’t even know how to listen to it anymore.

And sometimes, I think maybe I’m not supposed to listen. Maybe I’m just supposed to stay in this space, to stay stuck in this empty loop. Because what’s the point of fighting when you don’t know what you’re fighting for? What’s the point of hoping when you’ve forgotten what hope feels like?

[igiinite]

maybe, the rest I need is to be away from everyone. perhaps, being with myself again is the cure I need and the remedy to somehow calm my loud mind—I hate that I have to isolate myself once more from people, but even seeing them now drains me, even being with them exhausts me. I despise the fact that I can't talk even to the closest ones because I am this tired–I can't even open up to people I trust, because it's wearing me out. I've been overthinking things, I can't stop doing it—I'm afraid I might punish myself again for things that I can't do and for the person I can't become. I want quiet, I crave for silence, and that will mean being alone and not meeting anyone in the meantime.

and I still hope my people will understand if I will choose to be distant. I think this is the help I need, to be away from everyone.

[igiinite]

When they hurt my feelings but I'm tíred of complaíning so I just sit there and don't say anything.

[igiinite]

nothing hurts more than trying your best and still not being good enough

[igiinite]

I’d rather soak myself in loneliness than to be soiled by hands that do not know they are hurting me.

[igiinite]

Moving on isn’t about erasing each other from their heart or not loving each other anymore; it just means they’re strong enough to hold that love gently in their heart. It’s okay to let go for now—so they can make space for new things, they can grow together for new dreams, and one day, they’ll meet to hold each other again, with a love even stronger, braver, brighter, and warmer than before.

— azumifayo

[igiinite]

[igiinite]

Stay silent when angry. Avoid regret.

[igiinite]

i think my biggest red flag is that i’ve normalized silent treatment when i am not in a mood for a talk‚ i don’t really know how to express my feelings specially when i’m sad or hurt‚ i only talk to myself in my head about how i feel all the time

[igiinite]

[igiinite]

i don’t think people understand how hard it is when your toxic trait is self isolation plus avoidance. everybody instantly think you’re ignoring them but you’re just struggling to find peace

[igiinite]

Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

[igiinite]

[igiinite]

You can’t control a woman but if she respects you as a man she will listen