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[ihavenoideawhatthisblogis]

Untitled #4

word count 2.2k

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I frown when I open the front door of my house, and I see him standing right there.

"So this is where you live," Changbin says, stepping in and looking around. "It's a nice place." I frown deeper. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, trying to block his way in. He looks at me up and down, just like he did yesterday, and electricity runs through my entire body, making me feel dizzy and not upset like I should.

"Those are your pajamas?" He quirks an eyebrow and smirks. His sight gets lost on my barely-covered thighs.

"Nothing you didn't see that disastrous day that it was yesterday," I roll my eyes and try to play it cool. "That didn't answer my question, tho."

He sighs, looking up at me, still keeping some kind of lust in his eyes. 

"Well, I didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did. I just wanted to push some buttons and have fun, but now neither Minho nor Hyunjin want to work with you."

I scoff because I met with Hyunjin last night when everyone went to bed. He was actually a bit relieved because his little act against me put Changbin at ease. He no longer believed they would betray him.

"Shit luck, I guess," I say, shrugging. "You should've thought about it." I try to move to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. But he stops in my tracks.

"You heard those little shits. They will fight us. We gotta keep working together." I roll my eyes. "Besides, I need to release some stress too." He smirks, absently brushing his dick through his pants.

"Fuck off," I snarl, getting a little too close to his face. "Do you really think I'll fuck you again after the stupid number you put up? You're delusional." He smiles like I've just complimented him.

"Baby, no matter how much you hate me, you can't deny how good it was. Besides," he licks his lips, smiling. Like keeping a straight face is a fucking challenge. "I meant what I said. You drive me crazy with all those little clothes you wear. That pajama included." He says, looking at my legs with an intensity that sets a fire in my lower stomach.

"Chris loves it too," I say, before thinking. Wanting a reaction from him. 

"Chris," He says mocking me, but still looking a bit mortified. "He's no match to me, and you know it," he states, coming closer to me. I step back, but I find myself cornered against the little table we keep next to the door. "You haven't stopped thinking about it either."

"You disgust me," I spit, knowing deep down, that it isn't entirely true. I hate that he's got this effect on me. I despise him. He set me up. He used me. He's done unforgivable things. Why do I still want him this bad?

"Bet you anything you're already wet," he whispers, and I hate that he's right. Have I lost my mind? What the fuck is wrong with me? "Stop thinking about it," he said softly against my ear. One of his legs is between mine. His hands grabbing the hem of my shirt. "We don't have to mix things up. You can still hate me and hold me accountable for all the things I've done. We can be on enemies' sides and be complete opposites. Hell, that would only make it better." He giggles softly, touching my core over my already-wet-panties, and we both moan quietly.

"You've- fuck, you've surely thought a lot about this," I stutter.

"I told you I'm always thinking about you," he hums, in agreement, kissing my neck. "Come on," he says as he grabs my ass with his free hand, "Take me to your room. We don't want them to surprise us fucking each other's brains out next to the door, do we?" he laughs softly but freezes when he feels me clenching. I'm officially out of my mind. "Do you want them to?" he asks in a surprised tone, he wants to show off as smug, and I clench again. He scoffs. 

"Be my fucking guest, then" he groans, putting my back right against the door.

 _________________________________________________________________________

Thankfully, Changbin is long gone by the time Chan and Jisung get home.

"Wow, you're glowing!" Jisung comments, greeting me with a forehead kiss.

I roll my eyes, but I feel guilt climbing through my neck.

"How was it?" I ask, changing the topic.

"Easier, since Changbin wasn't there, " I nod with my head and Jisung frowns. "Did you know?"

"What?" I ask.

"That Changbin wasn't there."

"No, what?" I frown a bit, too. "Why would I know that?" I scratch the back of my head. Nervous.

"Oh, sorry, you nodded, and I just thought..." he trails off, "anyways, we were able to talk to your brothers privately and we discussed a way to take him down."

"Don't call them that," says Chan annoyed, coming closer to me, to kiss my cheek. "How was your day here by yourself?" He puts some strands of hair behind my ear. Jisung clears his throat.

"It was alright," I gulp. Moving away from him. I might be paranoid, but I can still feel Changbin's smell on me. "You guys hungry?"

"Yes!" they cry out at the same time.

While we eat and get ready to go training with our guys, they tell me all about the strategy they discussed, and I feel some sort of discomfort in my chest that I can't shake off.

__________________________________________________________________________

"You okay?" Chan asks once I get out of the bathroom after a long shower. Truly I was just trying to wash Changbin's smell away. 

Chan's sitting on the edge of my bed. Only one button keeps his shirt from showing his entire chest and abs, and he looks incredible. I gulp.

"Yeah, why?" 

"Dunno," He shrugs, "you've been so absent all afternoon. I thought something was wrong, and I wanted to know so maybe I could help?" he offers a smile, and I smile back.

"It's okay, just many things have happened, and I'm a bit stressed," I lie, reaching his hand to reassure him. He grabs my hand, and I can almost see the engine in his head going full speed before he stands up in front of me.

"Maybe I can help you out..." he whispers, grabbing me by the waist, pulling me closer to him. So close I can almost feel him through his clothes. I tense up. I clear my throat. I want to disappear because what am I going to tell him now? He laughs a bit, and he looks a bit shy. He moves back a little.

"I'm sorry, was I too direct?" he asks, his cheeks and ears going a bright red.

"No, I just.." I laugh, embarrassed, "I'm just a bit tired today, Channie, I um..." I clear my throat again, trying to come up with something else. "I just need to get some sleep."

Chan looks a bit disappointed but he covers it up quickly, smiling.

"Yeah, no it's okay." He says, walking back, away from me. "I get it. It has been a long day." He leaves my room, closing the door a bit strongly after him.

I let myself fall into my bed and feel like shit. Jisung said this would happen. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

__________________________________________________________________________

A couple of weeks fly by, with all the training, and Changbin, the truces, the fighting, and Changbin, all the sneaking around, the strategics, and Changbin.

I feel exhausted.

We've become so shameless, that I've been spending most of the nights at his place. There's something oddly comforting in it. I haven't slept that well in so long, I can't bring myself to leave his place after recovering from my highs.

I'm the first one to wake up every day though, finding myself tangled in his arms and sheets. I go home and wash up for hours before I even muster the guts to look Chan and Han in the eyes.

There's something so intoxicating in his smell, his skin, his kisses, and I get lost in them.

But when I get home, I can't stop thinking about him murdering my mother.

__________________________________________________________________________

He's not amused to see me, but at least he came.

"You know I could be doing other things right now," Minho comments, implying his plans with Jisung, waiting for me to laugh maybe, but I just sit there and look disgusted. "What happened? I thought Hyunjin was your ally, not me."

"Well, that was before I found out you were fucking my best friend. I don't mean to pry, but honestly, what are your intentions? Cause I swear to god if you hurt him..." I trail off because I can't even imagine Jisung getting hurt, without me turning into an assassin. 

"Do you want me to get in detail, or...?" He smirks, but I'm not amused. He sighs and tries again. "We're just fucking. Do I really have to have any other type of intentions with him?" 

I haven't talked to Ji about his feelings or thoughts about it, so I really shouldn't screw anything up by saying things I'm not supposed to. Things like how he's not the type to just fuck around. His heart is too pure for that.

"Just don't hurt him, or I won't care about this stupid truce. I will fucking murder you."

"You don't care that we're family?" He pretends to look hurt. But I just give him a look. "No one cares about the truce anyways..." he scoffs, but I can see he knows I mean what I'm saying. "I do care about him, somehow. He just...gets to you, you know?"

I nod. Oh boy, I know.

"You didn't call me here in the middle of the night to threaten me, did you?" He abruptly changes the topic.

"I mean, you could use a heads up before you fuck things up, but it's true. I wanted to talk about something else. I'm starting to think Hyunjin isn't completely honest with me." I state, and he frowns, genuinely taken aback. "He's just been off lately, and I don't know if something's happened or he just doesn't want to keep on sneaking."

Minho just raises his eyebrows and huffs air before speaking.

"Well, he has been off, but I just assumed it was because he was 'double agent' mood, but if you feel him off, then maybe something is going on..." 

"Can you find out?" I ask, and he laughs.

"You want me to go 'double agent' too?"

"You're already doing that with Jisung." I shrug, and he rolls his eyes.

"Fine."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On my way back to my place, I hear steps behind me, so I turn around, aiming my rifle everywhere, trying to find whoever's been following me.

I hear some sounds coming from the trash cans on my right, and then the same brown-haired guy who came to give us his leaders' envelope with information comes out. He's got his arms up in the air.

"You know that you have to be more sneaky than that if you want to follow someone, right?" I say, never pulling my gun down.

"I wanted you to know I was here. I need to talk to you," he says calmly. His gun is hanging on his shoulder, lying on his back, but there's something weird, so I keep mine where it is. "Fine, you don't have to put it down, then. Listen, your sneaking around put your leader in great danger, even if you think you're doing it to protect him."

"Why are you giving me tips on my job if you want to take us down?" I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"We're not like you, we said so, but it's clear that you think we're playing around," he huffs, "but anyways, leader Jeongin wants to get a word with Han Jisung. I'm just checking if it's safe, which is why I care if you do your job correctly."

"Everything I do, I do it to protect Han," I say honestly. "I'm not perfect, but I mean well." He nods.

"Seo Changbin didn't kill your mother." He says out of nowhere, looking me in the eyes.

"What?" I barely hear myself. Air leaving my lungs like I was just punched.

"He's covering someone else. I'm still trying to get that information, but I know he wasn't the one." He assures me.

"How? Why are you telling me this now? Who the fuck even are you?" I fall to my knees. My eyes losing focus.

"Ballistics." He shrugs like it's so simple. Like all my life decisions suddenly make no sense anymore. "He's never used that type of gun before, it's a pretty unique gun, but we haven't got a hold of it. We just know he's covering someone."

"Why?"

"It's what we're trying to figure out."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I thought it might help you get your anger out of the way and work towards a geniunely positive truce between both groups."

"Why?" 

It seems like all coherent thought has left my brain.

"We just want the best for everyone," he shrugs again. His composture is admirable. "If you don't believe me, you can check it yourself." He says handing me a folder, and turning around, walking away from me.

"Oh, my name is Kim Seungmin, by the way. I'll be in touch."

[ihavenoideawhatthisblogis]

Untitled #3

word count: 2.0k

________________________________________________________________

Since we're not the only groups in the city anymore, part of our alliance requires us training together before we can face and get rid of the silly group of teenagers that's been taking people from us, gaining strength.

"So, you and Chan, huh?" says Changbin joining me behind one of the columns of the same building he approached me just yesterday.

"Is this your favorite spot or something?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "How come you're always here, and how do you get here so fast?"

I don't even point my gun at his head because it's not worth the effort. I know he won't try to hurt me physically. He only wants to tease me and get a few words out of me. So here we are, in the middle of a training mission, and he's distracting me.

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you," he shrugs.

"Oh, but we both know how easy it is for you to kill innocents," I say, dramatically placing a hand on my chest. He smiles.

"All this to avoid talking about you and Chan," he points out with his dismissive pout and shrug. "You know he and I used to be best friends when we were kids. He always had the biggest crush on you." He looks at me up and down. "I never really understood what he saw." He speaks slowly, and his gaze is burning my skin. I flinch, and look away. What the fuck was that?

"Funny how you ended up with my best friend, and I ended up with yours," I comment, moving to the next column.

"I’ve never fucked with Hyunjin tho," he counts back, following me.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," I say, trying not to look as uncomfortable as I am. I know I haven't fucked with Chan, but last night was so damn intimate we might as well have.

"So you don't deny it," he laughs. "Han seems clueless tho," he continues taking his gun out now that we hear gunshots approaching us. "He doesn't know about you two, I assume," he continues, "do you think he'd be pissed?" Changbin asks.

He shouldn't care what Chan and I do together or not. Specially if we take into account he's fucking one of our enemies. However, he would -most definitely- go crazy if he finds out we broke our oath.

«The three of us. Our frienship is sacred. That's what makes us different from them. That's how we make the right decisions to avenge our people.»

"Why do you wonder such silly things?" I ask, bringing myself back to reality.

"I don't, but I was surprised." He shrugs, taking his gun down since the sounds we heard before are gone.

"How come?" I frown, taking my own gun down for the first time since he approached me.

"You're always so bitter," he starts, briefly looking at me," I thought it was because you never got laid," he's quick to recover, but I still catch his stupid smirk, so I lift my fist, ready to punch the lights out of him. He reacts faster, holding both my wrists, putting me against the nearest wall.

I think about kicking his balls, but he moves faster, and somehow I end up with my leg around his hips. It takes me a couple of seconds to realize the position we're in, but he stops me before I can move my leg down.

"Let go of me. What do you think you're doing?" I ask through gritted teeth. My skin is burning, but not exactly because I'm mad.

"Listen, I know we're like in the middle of something important, but do you honestly think appropriate going around wearing...that?" he whispers, looking at me up and down again. One hand holding mine and the other one holding my leg around him. I feel my skin getting hotter. I can't even shoot back, saying how he shouldn't give a fuck about my clothes. He moves his head closer to me, his nose brushing my neck up to my ear. "You're fucking driving me crazy," he groans. I stop trying to move for a second, processing. Thinking about my next reply, I open my mouth, but only a moan comes out of it when he sucks on the little spot behind my ear. He looks at me for a second before he lets go of my hands. Our breathing equally erratic coming through our mouths.

We're looking at eachother's eyes and lips repeatedly until I fist his shirt, pulling him back to me, finally kissing him.

He responds pliant, with a groan kissing me back.

________________________________________________________________

Afterwards, while I'm fixing my clothes and he’s doing the same, I laugh softly, because I've clearly lost my mind. This situation has to be a sick joke the universe is putting me through.

"See? I knew all you needed was to be dicked down to be in a good mood," he scoffs, and I snap back to reality. What the fuck did I just do?!

"You fucking asshole!" I snarl, punching his nose. He falls to the ground, and I straddle him. I start punching his face, over and over again, until I hear him laughing, so I grab my gun and put it between his eyebrows. His smile grows wider. His teeth are tinted red.

"I love that I know just which buttons to press," he says. "Do you think Chan will notice? That you're not his anymore, I mean. Do you think he'll notice tonight when he fucks you?" I'm about to shoot him when I hear Hyunjin and Han shouting at us. Or well, me.

"Hey! Hey, _____! What the fuck do you think you're doing???"

Han lifts me up, grabbing my gun and taking me away from Changbin. Hyunjin helps Changbin, who's coughing and spitting blood.

Hyune turns to me. He looks so mad I actually recoil a bit.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?”  He yells at me, “do you want this truce to work or not? Your word loses more and more value every time." I swear I've never seen him so upset in my entire life. And we've fought so many times in the past. His words hurt because I know I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. He turns again to help Changbin.

"What happened?" Jisung asks softly.

"He's an asshole. That's what happened" I set myself free from his hold, grab my gun, and start walking to our house, not caring about them calling for me.

________________________________________________________________

I hear a soft knock on my bathroom door when I'm getting out of the shower.

"_____?" Chan calls gently on the other side. I put the towel around my body and open the door. I can tell he's trying so hard not to look at my barely covered body. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I speak rather harsh. He raises an eyebrow at me like it's obvious. "He's a dick," I say, rolling my eyes, and my mind tells me that's a good word to describe him, not only for his personality but because of his c-

"Did he set you up? Or provoke you?" he asks, concerned. Oh, he definitely did, I think.

"I don't wanna talk about it. I think, I shouldn't keep attending the training. Not when that asshole is around," I shrug.

"You can't leave Jisung alone! You're the sec-"

"I don't care, Chan," I cut him off, "I can't deal with that stupid piece of shit. I'll quit my position," I state, and Chan frowns, confused.

"What really happened? What did he do? You'd never let a guy make you quit. Especially him."

And he's right. That's not me. I'm not a quitter. Sure, what happened is horrible (not the sex part, sadly,) but the fact that it was Changbin's plan all along, and I fell for it. He wanted me out. He even asked for it in the deal he made with Jisung. He repeatedly said he didn't want to work with me. He didn't trust me. He didn't think it was appropriate for me to be the second one. That scumbag son of a b-

"_____?" Chan waves his hand before my eyes. I blink a couple of times, snapping back to reality. "You were gone for a while," Chan laughs, quietly. I smile.

"Sorry, I was thinking, and you're right. I'm not a quitter." Chan smiles widers. He looks proud.

"That's my girl."

________________________________________________________________

When I wake up, Han is looking at me with a questioning expression I don't understand, until I feel Chan moving under the covers behind me.

In my bed.

Shit.

I get up silently, motioning Jisung to go outside, so we can talk while Chan is still snoring.

"What the hell?" He questions, squinting his eyes. I can tell he's upset, but he doesn't want get ahead of his thoughts. "Tell me it's not what it looks like. I thought you didn't return his feelings"

"I don't," I say and take a deep breath. "You know I don't, we've talked about this before, Ji. Its just..." I sigh, walking around, grabbing my hair. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Right, cause sleeping with him and giving him the wrong impression, and then telling him you're not into him, isn't going to hurt or anything. Are you even listening to yourself?"

"I mean because of you sneaking around with Minho and me with Hyunjin. You know he wouldn't understand. I needed to calm him down, but I swear, nothing has happened."

"I don't even understand..." he starts but I cut him off again.

"You don't have to. All you have to do is believe me when I tell you nothings has or will happen between us. You guys are like my brothers. I could never look at you like that. I know I have to clear that out with Chan, but I can't do it right now. We have to give him one less thing to worry about." Understanding seems to light up Jisung's face.

"By making him believe you're with him, so he doesn't supects about your sneaking around every night," he smirks. "You know you're going to break his heart at some point, right? When he wants you to move forward. Whe he gets tires of only inocently cuddling at night in your bed. When he asks for commitment from you and you won't be able to do it. What are you going to do then, huh?" He shakes his head.

"I'll figure something out." It's all I say, rushing to the kitchen to get breakfast ready.

________________________________________________________________

"I won't apologize, but I will say it won't happen again," I say, looking to the floor. Chan and Jisung next to me.

In front of us are Minho, Hyunjin, and Changbin, with bruises all over his face and neck. I'm not looking at him because I know I'll laugh. He looks ridiculous.

"How can we be sure tho?" Minho asks, "how do we know you're not going to attack him or any of us?"

I roll my eyes, and take a deep breath.

"You have my word. As long as Changbin is no way near me, I can promise I will not hurt any of you or your people," I look straight at Minho's eyes, because I know that if I don't, he won't trust me, and I mean what I'm saying.

"Your word means nothing," Changbin intervenes, "I didn't trust you before, I definitely don't do it now." I hold back my laugh. One, because truly, he looks hilarous. And two, because of his cynicism.

Before I can speak, we hear some people approaching us. Four of Changbin's guys are coming with two people I've never met before but I dam well know who they are. Seungmin and Felix work for Jeongin, the leader of the new surging group. The reason we're joining forces.

"Yang Jeongin would like to talk to you in our territory-" Felix starts but he’s interrupted.

"What territory?" Hyunjin scoffs, "you live mid-way our territories. You're just a bunch of kids playing with something you don't understand."

Seungmin squint his eyes, approaching Hyunjin.

"We live in the mess your groups created. We just want to fix it. That's why so many people has left you to join us. We might be younger than all of you, but we have a clearer view of how to move forward, instead of continue in this misery you've kept us for so long."

He hands a envelope to Hyunjin, and they both turn around, marching back home.

[ihavenoideawhatthisblogis]

Untitled #2

word count: 2.1k

____________________________________________________

"Where were you?" Chan inquires worriedly as soon as I walk into our house.

"Oh, thank God!" Han claims, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. He comes near me, complaining. "Chan almost made me go crazy," he whines, his tiny voice makes him sound like a little kid. "He's been walking around in circles for the past hour or so."

Han gives me a side hug and kisses my forehead before he proceeds to his bedroom, but the discussion is not over. As far as Chan is concerned.

"You won't even ask her why she took so long?" He shouts, his anger raising by the second.

"She's here, isn't she?" Han says before I can even begin to speak. It's like he wants to avoid the actual topic behind Chan's question. Whatever that is.

"What if something happened to her?" He insists.

"She went through the alleys. We all know that's the longest road." He shrugs, describing my actions like I'm not able to explain myself.

"It's a 45-minute walk," Chan squints his eyes, "she took more than two hours."

"Cause you were counting every damn minute!" Han exploits.

"Someone needed to since you clearly couldn't care less!" Chan fires back.

"Go ahead and ask her if she was meeting someone, then." Han doesn't back down. He talks calmly this time, pretending to be untroubled. "If that eases your jealousy. Ask her, go on. Don't hold yourself back like you do every damn night when she goes out and doesn't ask you to go with her..."

"Can you stop talking like I'm not here?" I interrupt, glancing at Chan's red cheeks and ears. Chan is glaring at Han.

I've known about Chan's feelings for a while now, but I've decided to ignore them for various reasons. The most important being our friendship. I clear my voice before I start talking again. 

"I ran into Changbin on my way back." I justify my delay. "Actually, he was following me."

"What?" Chan yells, approaching me and slightly stroking my shoulders.

"Is that so?" Han asks, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh, now question her," Chan retorts, rolling his eyes.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Chan?" Han says, drifting the attention away from me again.

"Well, maybe if you weren't fucking Lee Minho, I wouldn't mind what you do," Chan shoots back, and we all stand there, frozen, our eyes wide open. Even him, taken aback by his outburst, being someone so well-collected all the time. We all shift uncomfortably in our places, the silence and the tension so thick in the room.

"What did you say?" Han asks in a whisper, completely pale.

He bites his bottom lip, and starts fidgeting his fingers.

Chan adjusts himself, he's mad at Han, but he's worried about me. He tries to make eye contact, but I'm too focused on the floor. Chan corrects his throat a few times before he can actually speak. He goes for a calmer tone this time.

"I was worried about both of you when you didn't make it in time, so I went out to look for you, and boy did I find you, "he scoffs, "in the most compromising situation." He keep shifting uncomfortably, same as Han, who hasn't exactly been able to stay still all this time. I turn to him. He's astonished. Whatever he's been doing with Minho, he didn't expect us to find it out. Ever.

"Is that true, Jisung?" I finally ask. They both turn to me. Chan looking a bit guilty. Han looks dazed. We all know I only use his first name when I'm serious about something. "With Minho? Out of all the people. Especially men. Our men. Practically begging for five minutes of your time and attention. And you decided to fool around with one of those scumbags?"

Han's anxious and surprised expression changes, and he looks genuinely insulted by my words. He clicks his tongue before he talks back.

"He's your cousin," is all he says with a scoff.

"Who decided, behind my back, to go work with that fucker who only got his position by killing innocents," I cut him off, but Han smirks instead of looking guilty or showing some regret.

"Do you really wanna talk about loyalty?" He jiggles his eyebrows a few times. I stay there, completely frozen. Does he know?

"What?" Chan asks sharply.

Maybe he saw us.

Maybe Minho knew and told Han.

Maybe Hyunjin himself told him.

My mind is racing like crazy, thinking how the fuck Han found out about my meetings with Hyunjin, but Chan brings me back with his voice.

"_____, what is he talking about?" He asks, putting a hand on my shoulder when I don't reply, and Han doesn't add anything else.

I can't tell Chan I've been meeting Hyunjin lately. He won't listen to me when I try to explain to him that Hyunjin is actually helping us. He'll only think that I've also been sneaking behind his back. He'll go crazy.

"Can someone fucking answer me?" He snarls when Han and I stay there, just glaring at each other.

"Nothing," Jisung says, finally. Giving in, maybe thinking the same thing I am. "I'm so sorry, guys," he sighs, just then breaking our eye contact. His voice softens. He's no longer defensive. "I'll explain myself and answer all of your questions. Just not tonight. I'm too tired today, and we have a bunch of things to do tomorrow morning. I think we all need to get some sleep."

He doesn't wait for an answer and walks to his bedroom, slamming the door. Chan tries to come after him, but I grab him by his wrist. He glares at me, setting his hand free.

"What was he talking about? Why would you let him accuse of betrayal like that? What have you been doing?"

"Chan, I would never go against you, and you know it. You're my closest friend. I would never, and I mean never, betray you. You have to believe me."

"Then fucking explain yourself" He spits the words, but I can see it in his eyes, that my words got to him.

"I've been meeting some people. Our people. They've been proposing an alliance-"

"That's what we tried to do today," he cuts me off.

"Not that kind." I try to speak quickly before I chicken out, or he interrupts me again. "An alliance with Minho or Hyun-"

"No," he cuts me off one more time. He shakes his hand, clenching his jaw, "not that they're too loyal." He scoffs bitterly. "They both betrayed you, and they could betray Changbin. But I won't put you through it."

"If this benefits us all, I don't mind." I shrug and pull the cheapest move I'm capable of by moving closer to him and cupping the sides of his face with my hands. I've come to find that I can ease Chan with some sort of proximity, and I hate that I see myself using it for my profit.

Chan closes his eyes, leaning to my touch and finally unclenching his jaw. He moves closer to me, his forehead resting against mine. Our noses brush against each other, and he breathes out, long and softly.

"You scared me off twice today. I always fear something might happen to you." He whispers, sounding like a confession.

"Hey, I'm right here," I reassure him in the same tone. "Plus, you know I'm a tough soldier," I joke, and this makes him smile a bit. He opens his eyes and stares at me, all long lashes and shiny eyes. These last dropp to my lips, and I correct my throat, before I put some distance between us again.

"Can I sleep with you today?” He asks. “I highly doubt I'll be able to doze off on my own." 

I gulp and nod.

"We'll talk to Han in the morning, although I think he tried to do the truce I talked to you about, just with a different...approach," I say, drifting the attention to something else, and we both quietly laugh, walking to my bedroom.

______________________________________________________________

"Morning," I say to Han when he walks to the dining room for breakfast. I walk next to him, and I ruffle his hair a bit. He slightly frowns.

"Did you sleep well?" Chan asks him, and Han's frown deepens.

"What? Don't tell me you'll start babying me again when just last night you were treating me like a traitor." He says with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Well, aren't you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"I would never betray you, guys. Things with him just... kinda happened," he shrugs, "and I know you hate him, but he's not exactly convinced about Changbin's methods anymore. He wants to help us."

I snort at the same time Chan replies.

"By relieving your stress levels?" He suggests with a smirk, and we both laugh but Han's beyond annoyed, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, drop it. Last night you were fucking pissed. Stop acting as if nothing happened."

"_____ will try to make a truce with them too. So we could use all the help, I guess," Chan shrugs, and Han scoffs.

"Right, cause she’s always right if you’re the one to judge" He talks to Chan and then turns to me, "What idea did you sell to him?"

"I didn't sell any idea..." I start, but Chan completes.

"The only condition is to let me handle Hyunjin when the time comes. She'll start talking with some soldiers that have looked for help on our side," Chan explains, and I chew my lip, looking down when I notice understanding lighting up Han's face. He raises an eyebrow at me as if saying is this what you told him? and then he laughs bitterly.

"Why don't you let her talk to Hyunjin tho?" Han smiles, and I squint my eyes at him. Chan's too busy eating to notice our eye contest.

"He's a bastard." He states, "I don't want him near _____." Chan explains, "and you're already covering Minho's side, so..."

"So we're not working with Changbin anymore...?" Jisung asks, unsure.

"But we'll keep him believing so," I say.

"Well, you surely talked a lot last night," Han notes, looking at both of us, who just clear our throats and look anywhere but him.

_____________________________________________________________

After breakfast and on our way to the spot we previously agreed on with Changbin yesterday, Han doesn't seem able to let the topic die.

"So, you didn't tell Chan you've been talking to Hyunjin all this time..." he trails in a whisper, and I roll my eyes. "I still can't believe you convinced him. Like, what did tell him?"

"How do you know I've been talking to Hyunjin?" I change the topic back, not wanting to address the last part that involved me and Chan.

Under my covers.

Tracing patterns on each other's skins, whispering things.

I hate myself for doing this to him.

"Hyunjin told Minho, and well... you can guess the rest," he shrugs, "now going back to the topic..."

"And how long have you been doing that with Minho?" I cut him off, not giving him a chance to keep asking about me and Chan again.

"Fucking, around four months. Plotting against Changbin, around one or something," he shrugs.

"When were you planning on telling us?" I ask, and I know he wasn't expecting that question. He opesn his mouth but nothing comes out. He hesitates, but he's saved when we hear Chan yelling at us.

"Hey!" He calls out. "What are you guys whispering about? Keep fucking walking!"

"_____ my dear, what are you doing here?" Someone asks behind me. Chan's the first one to potition himself between this person and me with his gun pointed at them.

It's Changbin once again, coming from one of the abandoned buildings.

"I told you she goes everywhere with me," Han walks next to Chan, ordering him to put the gun down with a signal, which he obeys reluctantly.

"I don't want her here. It's one of my conditions." Changbin shurgs.

"And we declined it. That is not negotiable." Chan says, he’s mad but he’s trying to hold himself back.

"I don't trust her-"

"You fucking killed my mother. Do you think I trust you?" I shout approaching him, pointing my rifle at him, same as yesterday. But Han and Chan are faster than me, stopping me before I get too close to Changbin. He smiles and winks at me.

"You're so emotional. Is it because you're a woman?" He tilts his head, like pitting me. Bringing back my accusation of him being a sexist.

"You're such a dick, is it because you're a guy?" I shoot back.

Chan looks at me, telling me to calm down and I sigh. He pats my head, and I give my gun to him. It's fast and mild, but I can still catch Changbin looking at me and Chan with a raised eyebrow, and a look I can't identify or explain.

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I aim my rifle to the side where I heard a crack, thinking it might be one of Changbin's peons coming at us, even though we have a "truce" going on at the moment, but we all know the guy's words are worth next to nothing. It turns out the sound is just a giant rat rummaging through the garbage, looking for food. 

I exhale more calmly, closing my eyes for a second before I tense again when I feel a hand landing on my shoulder. It's just a matter of seconds before I'm holding my rifle against this person's head.

"Hey, it's me," says Chan, like I didn't almost kill him just now. He softly pats my head a few times. While I slowly put down the gun. 

"Jesus, I could've killed you. Why would you scare me like that?" I grunt, rubbing my eyes in a not so delicate manner. "What are you doing here anyway? We're supposed to be moving separately to be safe."

"We've been waiting for you for almost half an hour." His tone is so plain it's somewhat unsettling. It's just then that I notice he's completely pale. 

He wasn't worried. He was scared. 

I hug him tightly and rub his back a couple of times. Once we let go of each other, he looks calmer.

"They're asking us to leave our guns at the gates," he continues, without giving me an answer or saying something about what just happened. "And it's just going to be you, Han, and me."

"The hell I'll leave my gun behind." All my rage bubbling inside again. I start walking towards the gates, where Han tries to convince the guards that we can only leave one thing behind, our soldiers or our guns, not both. But they repeat over and over that those were the orders their leader gave them to let us in.

Chan tries to hold me back, but it's not of use since I'm already pointing my gun at this guy's throat. "Call your fucking leader, and tell him that he never mentioned those stupid ass rules before we walked all the way here, so he better leave aside this nonsense before..."

"My lovely _____" I hear a soft voice, coming from behind the guards, "all this time, and you haven't changed at all." Once he steps into the light, I can finally see his face. Not that I didn't know beforehand that it was Hyunjin. The second in command. And my former best friend back when we were kids. 

He lived in the house next to mine. Our mothers used to be friends ever since they were kids. So Hyun and I had the same plan for our lives. Our kids would be best friends too, and we'd never see the day where we wouldn't have each other for support.

Or so we thought.

"I'm tired of these games," I tell him, "you know that it's a suicide to enter your territory like this. We came here to talk"

"Yes, your rifle surely is having a wonderful conversation with our guard," he comments with a sided smile. I throw my gun to his feet. His smile becomes genuine, and his eyes squint a little bit, making him look younger. 

"We still need guarantees," I state, completely serious.

"Han and Chan can bring the guns, not you," he grants then. 

"Why? Is Changbin scared because he knows that I'll shoot him as soon as I see him?" I ask.

Hyunjin briefly glances at me, silently laughing with me before he continues.

"And you can pick three more soldiers to come with you."

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"I see that there are some trust issues here," Changbin comments when he sees us arrive, breaking his so-called rules. "I thought we had a truce," he places a hand on his broad chest, acting hurt. Minho laughs slightly before sipping another drink of his beer.

Minho's face has changed a lot since the last time I saw him. The scars, the tan, and, in general, the number of unpleasant things we have to do to get in control of the madness in our city, make him look exactly like my uncle.

His parents, and my dad, were killed in one of the first rebellion battles when we were barely ten. My mom brought him to live with us since she took custody of him. Hence, Hyunjin, Minho, and I were inseparable back when we were kids.

And honestly, the reason I ended up on a different side in this war is the man sitting in front of me, with his legs wide open. That scumbag of leader those two dumbasses chose and helped to get on top.

"We just wanted to take some cautions," Han says, politely smiling, giving his gun to one of the guys behind us. "We came to talk and see what's this strategy you mentioned."

"And you brought her?" Changbin asks, lifting an eyebrow and pointing at me.

"She's the second in command," Han begins to say because he knows I'm about to put Changbin down. "I couldn't go anywhere without her, even if I wanted to," he turns to see me. He reassures me with a soft smile, "but I don't want to."

I take a deep breath, try to remember what brought me here.

"Okay, let's get to business," Changbin says with a smirk.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

On our way back home, I decide it's best to follow the same precaution from earlier. Han protests, saying he doesn't comprehend how going on our own is safer than going together. But Chan backs me up, saying that maybe together we can help each other. But we should think like the leaders we are. Or something along the lines, I can't hear well because I'm already on my way.

I can never hear Han making a fuss over something because I always give in, and I can't do that right now. I need to focus on the road.

Not even one kilometer away, I see a shadow of someone leaning on one of the columns of an old building. I instinctively point my gun in their direction. But then, this person steps into the reflection of light from one of the power poles. 

Changbin.

I get closer to him, pointing to his head.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I snarl, angrier by the second.

More scared too.

"I needed to talk to you," he says, shrugging, looking at his nails like that's more important or interesting than me, pointing a gun to his head. "Just wondering why on earth would you let your beloved leader work with me. I mean, you hate me, so I don't get it." 

"Unfortunately, all I do is advise him, but he takes all the decisions, regardless of my likes or dislikes." I put my gun down because he doesn't seem to have one or any intention to attack me, for that matter. 

"I can't believe they let you be the second in command."

"Wow, you're also a fucking sexist. Why am I not shocked?" I say sarcastically, and his expression is not quite a smile, but he's not completely serious anymore.

"It's not about gender," he shakes his head, with a slight pout, a sign that it's all the same to him. He's not the slightest bothered, "it's just that you suck at your tasks. It has nothing to do with you being a woman."

"Of course I fucking warned him, but he was interested in your proposal, so we had to come," I shrug, trying not to let him get to me, "not that I was surprised that it was a scam," I add, and he smirks.

"What? Did you really think I'd let him take over knowing that you and Chan gave him that position with the hope it'll give his life a purpose?" I punch him. His knees flex a little, and he covers his face, but I still manage to see some blood drops on the floor. 

"Don't ever talk about Han Jisung's life like you know him,"  He still smiles through it. His teeth tinted. The idea of knocking him again is so tempting.

"And stop following me. I don't need more reasons to kill you next time I see you."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

At some point in the neutral zone, between the two territories, I hear a distinctive whistle. I reply with a similar one and receive the last one as a confirmation.

I go to the big building to my right and log the code we previously agreed on. The building is completely dark inside. But once I get used to it, I can tell some things apart from their outline.

"It's not going to work if you don't start controlling your temper around Changbin," says Hyune turning on the lights dimly.

"It's not going to work," I tell him, "I did try, but the guy brings the worst in me. Just now, when he was not only insulting me, but Han," I shake my head, annoyed, remembering what he said, and his stupid voice tone, and his stupid smirk. "I can't work with him."

"You ran into him?" asks Hyunjin, surprised.

"He was following me,"  I shrug, while Hyunjin runs to the nearest window looking down, trying to see if he can catch someone.

"What? What if he followed you here?"

"Not after I punched him, I don't think so."

"You what?"

Hyunjin frowns at me and chews on his lower lip for a few seconds before he speaks.

"It's not just about you anymore. You're a leader to some part of the city, and you have to act as such."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Those are some harsh words, Hyune. Especially coming from someone who chose to work for the person who killed my mother."