ihtylh

[ihtylh]

I will praise Him! And I will lift my struggles unto Him! I will surrender my relationship to our Lord God so He’ll give us a renewed one… I will trust the process because you said you love me… and you choose us… So now I will trust you and I will trust God. I love you so much beb!

[ihtylh]

Here I am… Half asleep half awake… Lord I’m battling my demons… I’m battling my heart… I am like a candle slowly melting…. I am tired of fighting my battle alone… Now I just want You above all else…. In every cry and in every pain I will call your name. Coz You are bigger than my demons. I believe that you will save us! In Jesus name! There will be healing! In Jesus name there will be restoration! In Jesus name there will be repentance! Lord our hearts are tired. We surrender it all to you.

[ihtylh]

I hate this… i hate the feeling of having you but not all of you. I hate to see you suffer… I hate to see your tears. If only I can take away all the pain, I’ll do it in a heart beat. Hold my hand and together we’ll conquer this messed up world.

[ihtylh]

Dear October,

I wish you never existed. I suffered a miscarriage and lost my husband all in the same month. No, he didn’t die… but his love for me died. This broken hearted momma, had to endure the grief and the pain of being cheated on alone. Sure, he confessed because of the guilt that ate him after realizing that his mistress was in a relationship with one of his closest friend who’s also married. By the grace of God , I hugged my husband and cried with him. Everyday is a battle…non stop crying and praying. I thought we’re moving on to fix our relationship. But no… they saw each other… saying their goodbye.. twice.. but ended it with a long kiss and a hug. I thought it was over…. But no… they used spotify to talk to each other…. It feels like being stabbed with a knife multiple times…. I decided to see her….And ended up hugging her…. Because she’s my sister in Christ… I took care of her… but this time I asked her to take care of herself…you said don’t look back… but both of you kept on looking back. And I am left alone. He said he feels bad you’re alone but he kept on forgetting that I am now alone. Trapped in this secret that he made me promise not to tell. I can no longer talk to anyone… all I can do is watch and die over and over again. Pain deserves to be felt.. but now I am going numb. I hate that he loves you…. I hate that he cares for you. He’s with me… but his heart is with someone else. My fear is that one day… my daughter will no longer have a dad and I will no longer have a husband… I don’t know what I am fighting for anymore. Trapped in this nightmare, I hope someone will wake me up! I am screaming for help but no one is hearing me. He loves you…it’s no longer me. He doesn’t see me anymore… but I see him… loving you everyday and letting go of me. Help me… help me! My heart is tired… I am tired. I am tired of seeing everyone hurt and broken… But you…. You have the opportunity to move on and to love someone else. You left me a guy who’s broken but as his wife… I will wait for him to be whole again. Please move on. Start living your life… knowing that you are forgiven. He is no longer your problem. He is mine… I will take care of him… so please take care of yourself. - 🤍 wife