iidesxreii

[iidesxreii]

Fire, Meet Medicine: Chapter 2 - E. Buckley

╔ Pairing: Evan Buckley x Plus Size!Black!Doctor!Reader

☆ Word Count: 4.3K

☆ Category: Fluff,

☆ Summary: After having to leave Buck's you think you're never going to see him again, but as fate has it, you cross paths once more. So you decide the least you can do is give it a try.

☆ Content: Literally nothing but fluff. I don't think there's anything to be worried about in here.

╚ A/N: Hey.....so I know I said I wanted this to be a series AND it still is going to be. I haven't been consistant and I keep getting notifications that people are reading and still liking the first chapter. My current job is VERY demanding so I don't have much time to work on anything at the moment. After July though I should be free enough to have more consistant posting. BUT FOR NOW here's chapter 2. (IM SORRY IF IT'S SHIT, SLOW BURNS ARE THE WORST TO WRITE)

!!NOT PROOFREAD!!

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You groan as you reach for your buzzing phone. Being a doctor meant calls at any time and currently? You were getting one at 10 am on your off day. You flip the screen towards you and notice the caller ID is indeed North LA Medical Hospital. You flip off your stomach and sit up onto your butt. Buck’s arm which was holding you in your peaceful sleep slides its way down into your lap and you readjust it so it won’t pain him when he wakes.

“Doctor (Y/L/N) speaking.” you stifle a yawn and peek to see if you’ve woken Buck. When you find that he’s still softly snoring you turn your attention back to the phone. A nurse is in your ear asking if you can come in for a small shift and in return get 2 off days next week. You know it’s a lie. You work at the busiest hospital in LA. You sigh and relent that if you do extra hours in residency, you could shave off a few hours later on. “Yeah. I can be there by 12:30. Great. Mmhm.” you hang up the phone and place it back down onto the bedside table before attempting to get comfortable again.

“Are you leaving me?” Buck’s arm pulls you back into his chest and you immediately smell his soap and shampoo. You didn’t even last more than 5 minutes in his bed before you passed out last night. You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol that had exhausted you, the multiple orgasms, or a combination of both. Buck, paid no mind to you being asleep in his bed before him. He thought it was cute.

“Unfortunately. Duty calls.” comes your exasperated response. Buck chuckles in your ear before sighing and nuzzling his nose into your hair. His hand finds the plush of your stomach and he rubs at it softly. Usually you’d hate if a man had done that to you, but something about Buck made it seem not so scary. You hated men poking at the plushness of your body, even if you weren’t extremely overweight, you had extra. Which bothered you when a hot guy like Buck was playing with your fat. 

“A doctor, hm?” he asks, bringing you out of your head. You sigh and shuffle into the covers. You bring it over your chin for some extra time in the bed before having to uproot your day for another hospital shift.

“A doctor indeed.” is all you can muster to say. Buck hums something and before long you’re both snoring softly.

You groan and check your phone for the time. When you notice it's a bit after you were supposed to leave. You rush up and quickly scoop your dress up. You open uber and order a ride to yours as fast as possible. You throw your dress on as a long skirt and shuffle your way to the door while checking your phone. 5 minutes. You turn to find Buck still deep in sleep and almost wake him to say goodbye, but you choose not to and shake your head. You collect your heels, wings, underwear and clutch before heading down the stairs and to the front door. You stop in your tracks as you meet a pair of eyes that wasn’t there last night.

“Have fun?” The mysterious man is sitting at the kitchen counter. One elbow is on the counter and he’s holding his head up with his fist. He’s got a shit eating grin like he was waiting and hoping for a run in.

“Who are you?” you shuffle with your things before placing your heels down and loosely strapping them to your ankles. Eddie watches amusement in his eyes and you squint at him. You wanted to be annoyed but something about him seemed…nice.

“I’m Eddie, I work with Buck.” Eddie turns and goes back to the newspaper he had on the counter. You bite the inside of your cheek and clear your throat. You hear Eddie whispering to himself but you make out what he’s said: “I am gonna tease him about this later.”

“Okay…as much as I want to ask questions, I'm in a hurry. Tell Buck I said bye for me.” you head for the door and check your phone. 2 minutes away. You open the door and make sure you have everything before turning back to Eddie who’s already looking at you. 

“Sneaking out?” he looks at you with an unreadable emotion and you shake your head. You wave at him before smiling.

“Nope, just in a rush. Nice to meet you Eddie!” and then you close the door and jog down the hall as fast as possible to the elevators. You cannot afford to be late to a shift you took willingly. You get home in 30 minutes and you rush to shower and get ready as quickly as possible. You throw on tights, an overall dress, and a long sleeve shirt to go under it. You quickly do your hair leaving it out naturally and allowing it to breathe. You grab your backpack, and make sure everything you need is in it before grabbing your water bottle and filling it. You quickly grab your keys and head off to work making sure Cereberus was all good and settled. It takes you 40 minutes to get there and you beat the clock by 2 minutes. You clock in, head to the locker room and place your stuff away before grabbing your coat. You head off to the nurse’s station to find the attending you’re subbing for.

“Great! I’m Doctor Wilkos, glad you could fill in. These are your cases for today, I’ll page if you’re needed elsewhere.” The doctor hands you 4 cases before passing out 4 to each one of her other residents. You watch as each resident goes through each file as she keeps talking. You listen and before long she's off to a page she got 5 minutes ago.

“Welcome to team Wilkos for the day. See you at lunch?” A girl taps your shoulder and you smile at her. She was smaller than you but had the biggest smile. You nod at her and check your first case.

“Yeah!” she smiles before heading off to her case and gives you a soft wave. You check over the chart and mentally map out where you’re going. Today was going to be a long day.

About 4 hours into your shift you and the 4 others follow your sub-attending as you sweep through the hospital and head to the emergency bay. Your attending had called in an emergency car pile up and of course you could never skip an emergency bay admittance. You bite your bottom lip as you wait for the inevitable sirens to blare. Just as you’ve chalked it up to the sirens being off you hear them. And then you see them. You watch as your attending assesses and calls out for someone. Everyone goes past for their patient except you. Maybe you weren’t getting one, you are a fill in. Why would you be given a patient on a new team?

“(Y/L/N)! This one is yours. Bay 7.” You nod before reaching for the patient’s bed and wheeling them into the bays. You park in bay 7 and immediately go to ask questions. When you’re through the list of symptoms you resign to physically checking the patient over. You are halfway done when you hear a familiar voice.

“Uh, this patient presented with some chest pains earlier. But they’ve been fine since-” Buck looks at your face for a second before suddenly remembering last night. He has to fight the urge to not get hard again and instead focuses on the real reason you are talking. “Uh…since they were in the ambulance.”

“Great. Did you give them anything for it?” you turn away from him and continue to check your patient’s vitals. You check heart beat and rate, their breathing, you check for broken bones and you even check their receptiveness.

“Ketamine.” comes Buck’s voice. You nod before marking that on the chart and hanging the chart on their bed. You check a couple more things before sighing and turning to Buck.

“We’ll run a scan on them and check for anything else. Thank you, Buck.” You throw away your gloves before getting the attention of a nurse. You make sure the nurse knows everything and you make them promise they’d page you and Doctor McCann if there was any more chest pain. The nurse nods and takes the chart to file the patient into the database.

“I thought you ran away on me.” Buck immediately follows you to the exit of the emergency bay and you cock your head at him. Did Eddie not tell him that he saw you? Buck looks back at his team who is still dealing with patients and he continues. “Saving lives huh?”

“Says the firefighter. LAFD…huh.” You read his shoulder and smile. Two first responders found each other at a party. You could never get over that coincidence. You dust something off his shoulder and he smiles.

“Buckley! Roll out!” somebody calls from behind him. He turns and makes a motion that he was on the way before turning back to you.

“Look, let's do dinner this week?” Buck reaches for your hand but you shake your head no. He opens his mouth and makes a confused face. “Next week?”

“Booked.” comes your simple reply.

“When aren’t you booked?” he asks. You can see the hope build up behind his eyes and you give in. You’d turn anybody down but another first responder? They worked the same schedule as you. This relationship could possibly work. IF you wanted it to.

“Next week on…wednesday and thursday. But that’s a toss up because I work at a hospital.” You motion at the hospital you’re standing in and Buck nods solemnly. He probably worked the same crazy hours you did.

“I-” He starts but then he turns and checks to see if his team is still there. When he finds no one he quickly turns back to you and throws his hand out. “Here gimme your phone.” You unlock your phone  and hand it to him. He navigates to contacts before putting his number in. He hands it back to you and smiles before turning on his heels.

“Goodbye, Firefighter Buckley.” You watch as he turns and looks back at you with a shy smile on his face the closer he gets to his team.

“Bye, Doctor (Y/L/N).” and then he’s out the door. You look back down at the phone to check the contact he made himself. Buckley🚒. You smile and head off to check on your other cases before lunch.

You groggily make your way into your apartment and drop your bag onto the floor with a thud. 9 hours of running through a hospital and yet, no amount of caffeine had helped through the day. But you were looking forward to texting Buck. Something you had challenged yourself to hold back on until you were at home and relaxing in a warm bath. Cerberus meets you at the door, his nose pokes into your thigh and you bend down to give him some much needed attention. You hadn’t seen him all day. You knew he wasn’t as upset as you were, but you liked to think he was. He followed you up the stairs of your loft and to the bathroom as you ran the bath water. You picked your clothes for bed and sat them out for easy access and less hassle. You grabbed your phone and found a text from Emara.

Mara🔑: Hey! Takeout for dinner? I’m near your place!

You: I just got off a shift feel like waiting an hour?

Mara🔑:I haven't even ordered the food. See you in an hour

You: God sent.

You step into your bath and immediately sink as far as possible to help your aching body. Cerberus made his way into the bathroom and parked on the other side of the bathtub. He was trained to be near you at all times. He was a guard dog, it was his job. You hear him huff and you look over the edge of the tub to find him stretched out as far as possible. You lean back and close your eyes to enjoy the silence and peace of your apartment. Before you know it you’re waking up 30 minutes later with cold water enveloping you. You groan and immediately go to turn the shower on so you can wash up. You take your time washing your body and finally when you’re done you turn the shower off and step outside of the bathroom. Cerberus finds your bed and hops onto it with ease. You get dressed and check the time, Emara should be there any minute.

You: Buckley?

Buckley🚒: I’m praying this is the hot doctor I gave my number to.

You: Hot? Says the firefighter.

Buckley🚒: I know my fires. You are a class K fire.

Buckley🚒: What’s up?

You: Nothing much. Was just texting to give you my number.

Buckley🚒: Noted. Any plans tn?

You: Dinner and then bedtime.

You don’t get to see his reply before there's a knock at your door and you rush to get it. Emara stands with chinese takeout and something for Cerberus to eat on too. You allow her in and she heads straight for your kitchen. She works on bringing plates and silverware out while you give Cerby his food for the night. She packs your plate with your favorites and reaches into your fridge to get you one of your drinks. She then packs her own plate before grabbing herself a drink and placing herself next to you. You both eat in silence for a minute before she swallows thickly and wipes her hands off on a napkin. She then turns to you and takes a sip of her juice. 

“I hear you left with a certain…firefighter last night.” The conversation catches you off guard and you almost choke on what you're chewing. You look at her with wide eyes and open your mouth to speak. Just then your phone blinks and the alarming ‘ding’ sounds off. You pick up your phone and unlock it to find 2 texts from said firefighter.

Buckley🚒:I can’t stop thinking about you. I genuinely thought I had lost my chance and then there you are saving lives

Buckley: Goodnight doc. sweet dreams

You guess you had forgotten all about Buck and he assumed you were sleeping. You check the time stamp and see it's been about 20 minutes since your last message. You make a face before chalking it up to a loss and saying you'd text him tomorrow instead. You look up to find Emara staring at you with a knowing look. You roll your eyes and pick your spoon back up. 

“Fuck off.” Emara giggles before throwing her hands up in mock surrender and turning back to her food.

Although you both attempted to find some time for dinner neither of you could. It had been a month of back and forth texting and yet none of your off days seemed to work out until this week. You both had Friday off, and you just so happened to have Thursday off as well. You hadn’t actually told Buck that you had Thursday off, you just subtly asked what he was doing for lunch. He told you that he was going to be at the station because they were cooking for lunch that day, and you chalked it up to going to surprise him. You got dressed in something comfortable enough for lunch, but cute enough for a surprise pop up.  You throw on a cardigan and some comfortable shoes before going to do your hair. You throw it into a quick updo before checking yourself over one more time. You check everything over and make sure you aren’t showing too much skin and that all of your soft parts are covered. When you were sure you had your outfit together you grab Cerberbus’ harness and leash and get him ready to go with you. You pack a small bookbag with necessities and make sure to bring Cerby’s muzzle. When you have everything you need both you and Cerby make your way to the car.

You map in fire station 118 and take the 15 minute drive over. The entire time Cerby is in the backseat, hanging his tongue out of the window, enjoying the breeze. When you get there you find a parking spot across the street from the station and step out of the car. You open your backdoor and grab Cerby’s muzzle from your bag and reach to put it on him. He wasn’t a badly behaved dog, but to ease the minds of others, you put a muzzle on him. When you’re all set you pull him out of the car and make your way across the street. You could see minimal shuffling in the station but you couldn’t see anyone really. You walk up to the open garage door and stop. You could just walk in, legally speaking, but you could also text Buck. You sit and think for a second and just as you’re about to text him a voice finds you.

“Can I help you?” You turn to find a nice woman smiling at you. Her hair’s shaved down and she has on glasses. You can see the softness in her stance and you smile back at her.

“I um…was looking for Buck.” You fix your mouth to say. She makes a face before puckering her lips and then her face softens again. She makes a face like she had realized something and turns around into the station. She motions for you to follow her inside and you do.

“Ah…okay. Buck! There’s a guest here.” She yells into the air. You can hear some chatter around but not loud enough for you to make out anything exactly. She turns to you and looks at Cerberus. “I’m Henrietta. Or Hen, as everyone else calls me.” She holds her hand out for you and you nod and reach for her hand. She gives you a bright smile and turns to your dog. She says something to him and you see him waver just a bit. He was protective when he wanted to be, but it seemed like he was taking a liking to Hen. You take this time to look around. You have never been in a fire station, but you weren’t expecting it all to be like this. This was more luxurious than you had thought.

“Did he invite you for lunch or something?” You turn to find Hen looking at you. You open your mouth to respond and then you close it immediately. You weren’t invited here but would saying no get you kicked out before you could see Buck? 

“Lunch? No. I was going to take him out…” You look around once more and realize there is a wonderful aroma coming from somewhere in the station. You hadn’t had the time to notice it in your scavenge around the place. Hen’s smile grows bigger and she motions towards you.

“Ah, it's family lunch today. You should stick around.” You turn and make a face. Family lunch makes it sound like you’re an intruder. The last thing you’d ever want to do is be that. They should be able to have lunch and not feel intruded on. Especially by someone Buck barely knew.

“Oh my god what are you doing here?!” You turn to find Buck dressed in his uniform. He looked nice. He looked more than nice but if you allowed yourself to think that way you’d be texting him when he got off and asking to come over. You didn’t want to do that. You wanted to take things slow, if that was possible.

“Uh well we thought we’d take you out for lunch but I see your captain is..cooking.” You loosely jerk on Cerby’s leash and Buck notices the dog. His eyes soften and he reaches out, but before you can say anything you step in front of Cerberus. You make direct eye contact with him and tell him to heel. Buck on the other hand pulls his hands back and watches you.

“We’ve got lunch going already. Do you want to stay? Cap always makes extra.” Buck motions behind him and you smile politely. You hadn’t even noticed that Hen had disappeared until Buck had made you aware of your surroundings. You turn back and see Cerby nested into the side of your leg and you sigh.

“Ah no. I don’t want to impede nor do I want Cerberus to be all in the ‘lunch’ eating space.” you wave your hands before clearing your throat. Buck’s face falls as you take a few steps back and your dog follows. You almost cave at his face but Buck waves it off and shakes his head.

“Nah come on! Stay. You and Cerberus!” He reaches for you and you roll your eyes. You try not to smile but as soon as Buck sees your smile he knows he has you. He bites his bottom lip to hide his smile and grabs your hand to lead you somewhere “Cap!!! I have someone joining us.” he turns back to look at you and you see the brightest smile ever. You can’t say no to a face like that. As you get to the top of the stairs you find an entire team getting a table ready for lunch. Hen is setting the table up, another one is getting drinks from the fridge, Eddie, who you met at Bucks apartment, is placing the food and there's two people standing by a stove whispering to each other. You watch Nervously as Buck lets go of your hand and begins helping. You watch the table get set up and before long you notice everyone is staring at you. You go to open your mouth but Buck beats you to it.

“Everyone this is (Y/N). The doctor I’ve told you about. Oh and her dog, Cerberus.” Buck smiles at you before looking back over at the table. You see Hen smile at you once more before moving to a seat at the table. She stands behind it and you smile back at her.

“Oh she’s real.” The asian guy cracks a joke and Buck sarcastically laughs before rolling his eyes and throwing up a middle finger to him. The asian guy turns to the hispanic guy and nudges him before saying, not so quietly, “I thought he was imagining things.”

“Chim.” An older black woman calls out to him before choosing a seat herself. She turns to you and smiles and you find yourself smiling at her too. She seemed so easy going and lightweight. You follow buck as he walks up to the table and you choose your own seat. Buck pulls your chair out for you and you wait for a second.

“Don’t mind them. I’m Bobby, the captain of this starion and this is my fiance Athena.” Bobby motions towards the black older woman and you see her blush ever so slightly. He reaches out to shake your hand and you meet him halfway. He motions for you to sit and you do. Soon after the whole table sits and you find a ton of food sitting in the middle of the table. “That’s Hen, Chimney, and Eddie.” Bobby points everyone else out and you wave at them. Bobby goes into a quick prayer over the food and then you’re all allowed to start passing things around. By the time your plate is full you hear silverware clanking against plates. Before long you hear a throat clear and look up to see Bobby looking at you.

“What type of doctor are you?” Bobby asks it so politely you almost miss it. You turn and raise your eyebrows before blinking a few times. You swallow what little bite you had in your mouth before wiping at your mouth.

“Cardiovascular.” Bobby makes a surprised face before turning back to his food. He looks like he has another question but someone else beats him to it.

“How’d you meet Buck?” You turn to find Chimney staring between you and Buck. You turn to Buck and he turns to you. Realistically, it was a halloween party, but how do you explain why you stayed in touch? Just as you go to open your mouth with some lie Eddie coughs to cover a laugh and you glare daggers at him. Eddie excuses himself and grabs at his drink before looking at you and shaking his head. You feel Buck’s hand land on your thigh and you turn and face him. He’s looking at you nonchalantly before shrugging.

“Party.” Buck’s answer shocks you but you don’t let it show. Instead you go back to eating and gauge how the table feels. Hen nods before turning to Chimney who is making exaggerated gasps and shaking his head.

“Are you back to Buck 1.0?” He feins hurt and you see right through it. He’s making fun of Buck in some way, but you don’t understand the inside jokes. Buck sighs before shaking his head and squeezing your thigh. Something about that has obviously bothered him.

“What is Buck 1.0?” Chimney turns to you before waving it off. He mumbles something about not worrying about it and the conversation falls back onto you and what you do for a living. They even ask about Cerberus who is parked calmly under your seat, laid out enjoying the cool air. You smile and make small conversation with them while Buck watches in adornment.

[iidesxreii]

this bucky with this steve

[iidesxreii]

[iidesxreii]

I thought y'all might like to see Niagara Falls lit up for Pride.

Hope you had a good one!

[iidesxreii]

I'm not just a bitch, I'm a bitch with a backstory

[iidesxreii]

Can you do a buck x reader and you get shot and it’s just super fluff and sweet

Bestie...idk how you knew this but great minds think alike <3. This is already written out and ready to be posted but I decided I'm going to use it for the Buck series, so it'll be a couple of chapters before it gets posted but I can tag you when it goes up if that's what you're wanting!!

[iidesxreii]

Through the Window

summary: you grew up next door to the buckley’s, and despite being the same age as evan, you didn’t meet him until you were both 16 and you invited him into your house when he got locked out of his own late one night. it becomes a regular thing; him sneaking into your bedroom every night, because to him, anywhere is better than that house.

word count: 3.7k

a/n: i am finally posting yay!! this could possibly be a new series, i’m not really sure yet. i don’t have any of it mapped out or anything, but this is an idea that i thought i’d post and see what y’all think. i kept it platonic because the characters are teenagers in this part, but it would be friends to lovers, with the next part picking up around the time of season one. anyway, please let me know if it’s something you’d be interested in!!<3

warnings: none, teenage!reader + teenage!buck (platonic), no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

You think you see him everywhere. The face of the boy that you used to spend so many nights with. It’s never him, though, you know that for sure, because you haven’t seen him in almost ten years. And you’re sure that he still doesn’t have that same baby face that used to have girls swooning. Yourself included, although you’d never tell anyone that.

You fell out of touch when you both left Pennsylvania. As much as you didn’t want to leave him, you couldn’t turn down your dream of studying in your dream field, especially when the opportunity was at Berkeley. 

You wanted to keep in touch, but as the weeks went by, it felt more and more weird to reach out. You thought that he had probably forgotten all about you now that you weren’t right next door.

You were around five or six when you saw him for the first time; you knew there was a boy around your age living next door, but you never spoke to him. Your parents weren’t friends, so you never really had any reason to interact with each other.

You’d heard of him, of course, he was your next-door neighbour, and you weren’t a stranger to seeing him outside on his bike, or his skateboard, or climbing trees and getting hurt. You also weren’t a stranger to hearing the yelling coming from his house when his parents were home; it always seemed to be aimed at him, and although it never seemed to really bother him, you’re sure that it did. 

It wasn’t until you were sixteen that you had actually met him.

It was late at night when you saw him trying to sneak back into his house through his bedroom window, but evidently, when he left through the front door earlier that night, he had forgotten to make sure he unlocked his bedroom window. 

He could see the dull flicker of light coming from the living room and knew that his father was on the couch watching tv, as he quite often does when he can’t sleep, and knew that there was no way he could come back in through the front door. 

He stood at the side of his house with his hands on his hips, mentally going over every single one of his, most likely dangerous, options; not that he cared if it meant not getting caught, when you opened your own bedroom window. He seemed harmless enough, and you didn’t want him to have to sleep outside, or be on the receiving end of another yelled lecture by his father. 

It was probably a stupid idea if you were to think about it today; inviting a teenage boy into your room that you hardly knew while your parents slept in the next room, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want him to be uncomfortable, or get into further trouble with his parents, not when you could help it.

“Hey!” you whisper-yelled, your voice cutting through the quiet spring air and reaching Evan’s ears. He turned quickly, squinting and looking around until he saw you, illuminated by the lamp from your bedside table, and he raised a hand in an awkward wave.

You beckoned him over with a hand, and he crossed the lawn and was at your window in a second, his head tilted curiously to the side while his eyes studied your face. He knew who you were; your name, who your family was, but you had different friend groups, so your paths never crossed enough for him to learn any more. You had the upper hand in that regard; you knew his family, and who his friends were, and the fact that he was the football star at your school, but you were relatively invisible every day at school. Most of all to people like him.

“Locked out?” you ask with a soft smile as he leaned against the side of your house. He took a split second to let his eyes trail down your body, and then his eyes were back on your face. He’d never really looked at you, but right now, he found you pretty. You had a soft figure, and the warm light of your lamp made your plump cheeks and your kind eyes even more beautiful to him. At that moment, he wondered why he had never noticed you at school.

“The one part of my plan that I didn’t think through,” he said with a shrug. He was smiling at his own stupidity, but you could tell that he was slightly embarrassed, too. 

Without another word, you stood back up straight and took a few steps back, allowing him enough room to get in through your window.

“You can sleep here tonight; go back early when he’s gone back to bed,” you told him, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to both shield yourself from the cool breeze coming in through the window, and to somehow make yourself look smaller. He’s on the football team, for god’s sake, you’re half sure that he’ll make up some excuse because you’re not one of the girls that anyone in his friend group seems to go for. Not that you were offering him anything more than the floor of your room and a pillow. But, still.

He looked at you like you’ve just said the most outlandish thing for a moment, his eyes still working to learn as much about you as he can as you stand there expectantly. Your crossed arms make it look like you’re angry with him, but there was also a gentleness in your eyes; it looks like you want to help him, so, finally, he climbed in through your window. 

He almost toppled over on the way, his back foot catching on the window sill, but then he steadied himself, rose up to his full height and looked down at you.

He was taller than he looked from afar, and for a second, your eyes widened in surprise, but then you took a step back and turned to grab a pillow and blanket from your bed. Despite his brow raised in confusion, he took the pillow and blanket from your outstretched hands, his feet glued to the floor as he waited for your lead.

“What, are you gonna take the bed and make me sleep on the floor?” you asked sarcastically, a smile making its way onto your face as it finally dawned on him. Of course he wasn’t going to sleep in your bed with you. That would be weird.

You settled back into your bed while he took his shoes and hoodie off and then set up his pillow and blanket. When you saw how uncomfortable he looked, you sighed and threw the rest of your blankets at him, telling him to layer them under him so he’s not just sleeping on your carpet.

He did so without a word, and when you’re both finally settled, you turned off your lamp and let darkness surround you. 

It helped to lessen the tension, at least, not that you were tired anymore. But all you could hear is your own breathing as you try not to focus on the boy laying on your floor. You’re not sure what came over you when you invited him in, but when you think about the yelling you’d no doubt hear if his parents found him trying to sneak in, and the reckless thing he’d decide to do that was sure to follow, you’re glad that you did. At least now you know that he’s safe, although you’re not sure why you care so much.

“Where do you go?” you asked softly after a few minutes of silence, Evan’s breathing being an indicator that he also wasn’t asleep yet.

“What?” he replied in a whisper, just barely able to hear your voice through the volume of his own thoughts. His eyes were travelling around your room, taking in all of your knick knacks and photos using the shred of light shining in from the street lamps lining the road outside your window.

“You sneak out a lot. Where do you go?” you clarified. He shrugged as he let out a long sigh, and then when he remembered that you can’t see him, he answered.

“Anywhere else. Sometimes I go to my friend's house. Sometimes I just walk around.” Your heart clenches in your chest at the idea of him walking around town in the middle of the night because his home, the place he’s supposed to be the most at ease, is so terrible. 

“Why?” you heard yourself ask before you could stop the word from slipping out. You knew that it technically wasn’t your business, but you couldn’t help but be curious. You’d met his parents briefly, and nothing obvious stuck out to you that would make them so bad. They were teachers.

“Anything is better than that house,” he replied simply, his eyes frozen on the ceiling and his face lacking any emotion. 

Your frown deepened, and you sat up on one of your elbows, then leaned over just enough so that you could see the outline of Evan’s face on your floor.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, and you could make out the movement of his eyes with what little light filters in from the street lights. His gaze met yours, and he shrugged again, although he felt his chest warm with the idea that you cared about him, even a little bit.

“It’s not your fault.” 

You tilted your head to the side, your eyes softening further while your mouth hung open slightly as you tried to find the right words.

“I know, but-” you began, then sighed, shaking your head, “I’m sorry.” No other words felt right for the situation. It’s not like you could push any further; he didn’t seem to want to explain anything to you, so you left it at that. Because you were sorry. From what you’ve seen, he seemed like a good guy, and your chest felt tight as you thought about him having troubles at home so bad that they led to him having to sleep on a stranger's floor.

“Thanks,” he whispered after a moment, giving you a soft smile. He liked how you made him feel, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel safe in there with you, even if he was on the floor. He wondered if that was what it felt like to have people who actually care for you all the time, not just when you hurt yourself.

“Good night,” you whispered, returning the smile before laying back down. 

“Good night.”

“Evan, you can’t keep breaking bones. Pretty soon you won’t be able to sneak out of your house and climb through my window,” you said with a quiet laugh when you saw the cast on his arm. 

He’d been sneaking into your house for months, and while you weren’t actually mad at him, you wished that he would take better care of himself. You found a friend in him, as infuriating as he was sometimes, and you didn’t want to not hang out with him for a few weeks just because he did something stupid and got himself hurt.

You rolled your eyes when the somewhat defeated expression crossed his face and he gave you a shrug, and all you could do was shake your head. 

“Why can’t you just let me in through the front door?” he asked, his lips turning into a playful pout. 

“Because, my dad would kill you if he knew you were here,” you began with a raised brow, giving him a knowing look, “and I know you. You couldn’t be quiet even if your life depended on it.” 

He laughed at your words, and raised a hand to rub at the back of his neck, then shrugged again, looking past you and into your room.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever. Let me in.”

You stepped to the side and let him climb through your window, his actions a little awkward with one unusable arm, but once he was in, he instantly felt better. And you did, too. He always felt so calm in your room, your four pale blue walls allowing him to feel a type of safety and love that he’d never felt under his parent’s roof before. Especially with his sister gone to Boston. Your presence helped, too, but he wasn’t ready to think about that. For all he knew, you were just being nice to him because you felt bad for him. 

You both slept in your bed that night; you didn’t want to make him sleep on the floor with his broken arm, and you weren’t about to sleep on the floor, either. 

You both laid on your sides facing each other, talking and laughing until sunrise, and although you regretted it a little bit when you had to go to school the next day without sleeping at all that night, you and Evan seemed closer after that.

He slept in your bed almost every night, which caused some fights when he rolled onto your side in the middle of the night and stole all of your blankets, but they were quickly forgotten in the morning when he snuck back out of your window and went back to his house. You enjoyed having him at your house so often, even if you barely interacted at school.

You had different friend groups, and it seemed weird to see each other outside of your bedroom, so neither of you ever bothered to try to interact at school. It made your friendship seem more special, anyway; it was something that was only for you two. Your conversations and the secrets you shared would never be heard by anyone else because you two were the only ones awake at two in the morning to hear them.

“I’m going to Berkeley,” you whispered late one night, the only sound in your room being the soft sound of crickets coming in through your cracked window and you and Evan’s breathing as you lay facing each other in your bed.

“You’re what? Why?” he replied, sitting up on his elbow and looking down at you with furrowed brows. You furrowed your brows as well, sitting up and looking at him with a confused expression.

“Because we’re graduating in a couple months. I got into the program I told you about. It’s at Berkeley,” you explained as if it was obvious, because for you, it was. That was always the plan, and he knew that.

“Oh, right. Congrats.” It was as if he deflated when he processed your words, sitting up beside you. Of course you were going to college. He just spent so long hoping that, for some reason, things would stay the same forever, that he had actually started to believe it.

“Thanks,” you replied, sitting up beside him and studying him as he looked down at his hands and fidgeted with them in his lap, “have you been to California?”

“Me? No- no, I haven’t,” he said quietly, keeping his eyes down. He couldn’t look at you. He was afraid that if he saw the sadness in his eyes, he’d have to talk about it, or worse, that you wouldn’t care. And he couldn’t handle the thought of you not caring about him as much as he thought you did.

“I’ve heard it gets, like, really hot in the summer there, way hotter than here. But I guess it’ll be okay if they don’t get snow in the winter,” you said, trying to lighten the mood as Evan lays back down beside you, now staring at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

“Yeah. Yeah. That’s good,” he replied, although you could immediately see that he hadn’t registered a single thing that you had said.

“Evan?” you urged, leaning your head forward slightly in hopes of getting him to actually look at you.

“What?” He blinked quickly, taking any emotion out of his face. He tried not to think about not being able to see you. Not being able to spend time with you like this. It hurt.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly, your eyes full of guilt, and he hated it. It dawned on him then that he didn’t want to hold you back, as much as it sucked for him. He knew how important this was to you, and he didn’t want to make it all about him.

“I’m fine. All good,” he reassured you, clearing his throat as he shrugged your concern away. He tried to smile, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead, he kept his voice void of any emotion.

“You don’t seem fine. What’s going on?” you pressed as you noticed the way his brows furrowed just slightly. The good thing about being so close to him most nights is that you grew good at reading every little expression. That, and you learned that he’s never been that good at hiding his emotions, either way.

“It’ll just be weird not having you here,” he said simply, shrugging again.

Your heart clenched in your chest as he tried to brush the conversation off. You didn’t think he’d be this upset about it, and a small part of you wanted to tell him that you’d stay. For him. One of the only things holding you back here was him, and even though you knew it wouldn’t necessarily make a difference in your decision to leave other than making it harder, you wanted him to beg you to stay. To show you how much he cared.

“Well, aren’t you going to college, too?” you asked. Maybe if you talked about his plans, he’ll get excited too.

“Yeah, community college. 20 minutes away,” he said with a huff, rolling his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I just thought that with your parents, you’d-” you began, your lips turning down into a frown.

“Don’t apologize. I’m happy for you. I know how much you wanted to get into that program,” he tried to backtrack, shaking his head and looking back over at you, still sitting up beside him. He was happy for you, he really was, and he didn’t want to ruin things for you just because he’s an idiot.

“I did,” you said after a moment, looking deeply into his eyes, trying to show that you were upset about leaving him, too. 

“I knew you would,” he said, finally giving you a small smile. You smiled back, nodding once before laying down and getting comfortable in your bed again. 

Just like that, things were good between you two again. If you were leaving at the end of summer, you might as well enjoy the rest of these nights without fighting or thinking about it too hard.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” you whispered late one night. Evan was right beside you, like always when it’s so late, but there was a heavy feeling in the air that neither of you had addressed yet.

“I know,” he whispered back, turning onto his side to face you. It had been on his mind all night, and for most of the week, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

“You can always come visit me. There’s lots of schools in California,” you said, trying to keep your voice light, but you knew that he could hear the sadness behind your words.

“I’m already enrolled here. I can’t just leave,” he told you, and you sighed, nodding once. 

“I know,” you replied, unsure of what else to say. 

“Will you ever come back here?” he asked after a moment of silence, his eyes big and hopeful as he took in your features in the near-darkness of your room.

“For holidays and stuff,” you said with a shrug. You could feel the lump in your throat growing as you looked into his sad eyes, and the way his lips turned down into a slight frown despite him trying to fight it.

“No, like, live here again,” he clarified, and all you could do was shrug again. You hadn’t even thought about it. All you could think about was the next four years of your life in Berkeley, and all the hours you’d no doubt have to put in at the library, studying.

“I don’t know. I’ve never lived anywhere else,” you said after a moment. You were about to speak again when he cut you off, catching you off guard.

“I hope you don’t come back,” you furrowed your brows, confused by his sudden switch up, “You’re finally out. You shouldn’t ever come back. I wish I could get out.”

Your eyes softened, and finally, a tear fell down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away before he could see it. You felt guilt eating at you, and for a split second, you thought about skipping out on Berkeley. Staying here with him. He had slowly told you more about his home life; how his parents were there but not really there, how they yelled at him for any little thing, how the only thing holding him together was his sister, until she left. You didn’t want to leave him, too, but you weren’t sure what else to do.

“You can. What’s holding you here?” you finally asked, trying to keep your voice steady as the pit in your stomach grew.

“Nothing.” Not anymore, he thought. He didn’t know what he was going to do when you left, but he still had you there tonight, so he didn’t want to spend another minute talking about tomorrow. 

So, you both let the silence envelope you until you finally fell asleep, finding what little comfort you could in the fact that for the night, you were both still under the same roof.

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[iidesxreii]

Fire, meet Medicine - E. Buckley

╔ Pairing: Evan Buckley x Plus Size!Black!Doctor!Reader

☆ Word Count: 3.2k

☆ Category: Fluff (near the end)/SMUT! (18+ YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED)

☆ Summary: You find yourself at a halloween party with one particular person fighting to get your attention. And when he does, all hell breaks loose.

☆ Content: First meet, makeout, SMUT!!!!

╚ A/N: Since my first fic did so well (in my opinion) I guess I'm gonna keep going with posting my drafts. I have about 4 drafts that can be tied into this so I'm going to call this a series and just go through with posting these on Wednesdays. I'll post regular fics on Saturdays instead. This is written with a plus size, black female character in mind. I don't see a lot of Black!reader fics let alone PlusSize!reader fics so I decided to make one for myself as it is my ethnicity. At some point it will be VERY known, but hopefully it doesn't bother any of you! ALSO!! I know my smut scenes suck, I'm trying and working on them to get better. If you have ANY tips, and I mean ANY, please send them in or message me about it so I can get better. Literally anything to make my fics better helps.

As always, even if you hate it, let me know. constructive criticism is always welcome when it comes to my writing.

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You check your outfit over once more before turning in the mirror and making sure your modesty is still intact. It was halloween and you were finishing up your outfit. Which consisted of a small green dress, some wings you found last minute and a whole lot of glitter. You flattened out your dress before grabbing the clutch you had packed before you started getting ready. It had all of the normal necessities. A card holder, keys, lip gloss, makeup wipe, compact mirror, a stain remover stick and a miniature deodorant. You grabbed your phone off the charger and checked the time. The party you were attending was across town and had started at 10. You on the other hand hadn’t gotten off your shift until 11 and rushed to get ready as quickly as possible. You knew the party wasn’t going to end soon since it was an LA party, but you still wanted some time to mingle about. 

You make your way down the stairs of your loft and into your living room area to check on your dog. Cerberus was fully capable of protecting the apartment while you were gone, but you always made sure to check on him before leaving. Your heels click against the hardwood as you walk over to your dog and rub your hand against his head. He makes a little sound which has you poking your bottom lip out. You almost cave in and say fuck the halloween party. You could have your own. You, Cerberus and a bucket of candy from the store. You sigh and shake your head before heading into the kitchen. You check his automatic bowls before peeking back at him in his bed. You blink a few times before making your way to the door and heading out, locking the door behind you.

You put in for a rideshare and make your way down to the lobby. The rideshare app dinged and you were donned with a wait time of 3 minutes. You shuffled a bit as you felt the eyes of your doorman on you. Connor was nice, you spoke to him every once in a while but not like you spoke to Fredrick. Frederick was your favorite, he treated you like his own daughter. Asking about your residence at the hospital and making sure you were taking care of yourself. You spoke to him every morning and you were sure you wouldn’t miss another chat tomorrow morning. Maybe you’d bring him a coffee. Before long your phone is pinging and letting you know your ride was outside. You make your way outside and get into the car. Immediately your trek starts and you’re on your way.

You walk into the house of your friend who was hosting the party and sca around for her. You wanted to say hi before heading anywhere else. The minute you walked through the door boys looked your way. Some approached but others just watched, you could feel their eyes digging into you. Before long you find your friend and give a hug before thanking her for the invite.

“You look so good! I’m so glad you could make it. Hopefully residency isn’t so bad?” Your friend, Emara, gave you a hug before looking you over once. Emara was your dorm mate in med school. You guys clicked almost immediately and clicked even better when she found out you were 2 years younger than the preconceived notion she had placed on you. She wasn’t aware she was bunking with a ‘literal genius’. Her words, not yours.

“It’s just as I expected! How is yours?” You look over her costume and smile. She was of course dressed as a sexy nurse. She was waiting for residency before she pulled out all the stops. She was waiting for the chance to actually drop the bomb that she was a doctor.

“Calmer than North Med! Enjoy the party and the hotties! We’ll have to catch up later on!” She turns and heads off into a crowd with a handful of shots in her hands. You turn towards the makeshift bar and pour yourself something to drink. You turn around and lean on it before noticing the lovely, and very hot, man dressed as Robin. He had his eyes on you, and you were attempting to ignore him. You turn away from him and make your way deeper into the crowd and away from his eyes. A good 15 minutes later you find yourself talking to a girl that was also a student at your med school. Though you had never formally met her, you were excited to talk to her. You had also managed to avoid the blonde haired boy pretty nicely. Ever since the encounter 15 minutes ago he’s been trying to get to you, but you wanted to play the long game first. 

You hadn’t let yourself experience a relationship in a while seeing as you were always busy with schooling, then med school came around, and then residency. You had no time for a relationship back then, or right now. But you could have fun in the meantime. You turned to the girl and said you were going to grab a drink and heeded off towards the counter. You stopped to grab another drink and managed to slip away to the backyard as you noticed the guy coming your way. You stayed hidden from him for a while before you caught him coming at me from a little ways away. You tried to hold back a smile before turning to him as he approached you. He stopped right next to you and made no effort to speak to you just yet. You sipped your drink and checked the time on your phone that you had pulled out of your clutch when you were getting that other girl’s number. 1:38. It wasn’t like you had work tomorrow, but you still wanted to be in bed by a certain time. 

“Are you playing a game with me?” The guy turned to you ever so slightly and you giggled into the cup that was at your lips. You peeked at him for a second before taking another sip of your drink and turning to him fully.

“It’s my first night out in like a couple months. I just wanted to have a little fun is all.” He drank the rest of his drink and he sat it down somewhere. He turned back to you and asked a question. 

“And why did you choose me to play it with?” You looked up into his eyes. He was taller than you expected and you kinda liked that. He had a birthmark above his eye, he smelled like alcohol and it was mixing with something so good. You couldn’t explain it. It smelled like something You needed in your apartment all the time. If you were being honest, you wanted him in your apartment all the time. The things you’d do if you had his scent near you all the time. Wait…no. 

“I dunno. You were cute. And you caught my eye.” He shook his head and let out a low chuckle. It riveted into your brain and straight through you. It was hot, fuck that, it was sexy. You loved the sound. And you wanted to hear it again and again and again.

“Ah. Cat and mouse. Which one am I?” You let out a giggle and shook your head. He had a point. But you weren’t sure which one he was. You bit your lip and scanned his body, you didn’t know if this was the alcohol talking or if you genuinely thought this, but why were you running from someone as sexy as him? Instead of running you should’ve been getting your payback for the last few months. You were in desperate need and you had finally found something that appealed to you as much as your vibrator did. 

“What’s your name?” was what came out of your mouth. You watched confusion pass by his face before his answer slipped out of his mouth with a quickness. 

“Buck.” You raised your eyebrows at that answer. Who names their kid Buck? But like he read your mind he continues. “It’s a nickname. I-it’s my last name. Evan Buckley…hence the Buck…” You shook your head and smiled as you extended your hand. You think it was the alcohol hitting. Whatever you mixed in those few cups were coming back to bite you in the ass.

“(Y/N), nice to meet you Buck…but I have a proposition.” He made a face and you assumed he was listening. You placed both hands onto his shoulder, and leaned up to his ear. You were close enough to whisper but not to get lip gloss on it. “I’m not going to lie, this could definitely be the alcohol talking but, I’ve never met someone who appealed to me as much as my vibrator did. And I’d kill to have her right now. So instead, how about we get one more cup of whatever it is they have in that kitchen, get shit faced and make our way to the bathroom. That way, I get what I've been needing for 9 months, and you can learn my last name.” You leaned back onto your feet and winked at him. He easily grabbed your hand and beelined his way to the kitchen area. You both grabbed a cup each, and downed it in that same second. Then you made a direct line for a bathroom. You both make it to a bathroom and the minute the door closes your back is pressed against the door with his hands running all over your body. His hands felt so good running over your body, everything felt surreal. This is exactly what you needed in your life. Or at least right now at this moment. 

He pulled away for a second and instead went into your neck. Sucking, licking, soft kisses, all of it was pushing you to the edge. His hands found your ass and gripped it tightly, which made you moan. In turn, you rake your hands down his back and he almost growls in your ear. He pulled away from your neck and quickly lifted you onto the bathroom counter. The feeling of the cold counter threw you off for a second making you gasp and arch your back. He took this as an opening and pushed his way in between your legs. He began rubbing your thigh with one hand and dipped his head back to meet your lips in a kiss. You felt him grind against you and your eyes almost rolled out of your head. There was a knock at the door and you both ignored it. You wanted this. You needed this. Nobody could stop you from going through with this right now. Then there was another knock. And another and another and another. It was constant at this point, and you knew it was only going to get worse. You pushed him back a bit before checking your phone. 2:10.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

By 2:27 Buck has you pushed up against his door and is trying to unlock it to no avail. You release him and he grumbles as you step to the side to allow him to unlock the door properly. You were sure that if he didn’t get the door unlocked he was going to have you in any way in the hallway of his apartment building. The lock clicks smoothly and Buck opens the door before bringing you in. Before you can get a look around you’re tugged into him and he’s picking you up with ease. Before you know it you’re being tossed onto a bed.

“Are you sure about this?” Buck is standing over you and your mind is anywhere but vanilla. You watch as he takes his shirt off and you almost pass out from how good he looks. Instead of marveling like you want to, you find his eyes again and smile.

“Thinking I’m going to change my mind Buckley?” You’re perched up on your elbows and Buck is eyeing you up from head to toe. You watch as his eyes darken and his pupils dilate before they find yours.

“I’m all about consent.” His smile is shit eating and you almost find it funny. He leans down and places both hands on the bottom of the bed. He’s leaned over almost primal looking. He’s cute, what else can he do?

“That’s hot.” you mean it towards him, but the consensual part is just as hot. You bite your bottom lip and motion for him to come to you. He crawls up the bed and you find it in you to take off the dress you’re wearing. As the dress passes your eyes you find Buck sitting back on his ankles undoing your heels. He takes one off, and then moves to the other. Your heels are soon discarded along with your dress and wings. His pants soon find a home on the floor with your costume and you both are back to kissing. His kisses trail down the valley of your breast, over your belly button and to the top of your underwear. He looks at you before watching for any type of wavering. When you nod he drags your underwear down and is faced with your soaking cunt. He all but groans as he licks a tender stirpe up your center. You shudder and reach for his hair. As you come in contact with his locks he dives into you licking recklessly. Sucking, licking, hot breaths passing your sensitive bud. Everything feels much better than you could’ve imagined. He hums something and your back arches. Your breathless moans push him over the edge and he finds every way to get you to react like that again. You feel the bud in your stomach growing and your grip on his hair gets tighter. He flattens his tongue against you and you immediately find release. 

He doesn’t let go though, he moves and inserts two fingers into you making your legs wrap tightly around his head. He takes this as something you liked and continues digging into you. He takes his time exploring the inside of you and your moans become a mix of heavy breaths and incoherent words. He finds that ever loving squishy spot and picks up his pace. Buck watches as you fight the inevitable, taking pride in the fact that he’s doing so well you think you have to hide anything that falls out of that pretty mouth of yours. You, on the other hand, have to stop the string of curses that threaten to fly out of your mouth. Buck finds your bud once more and expertly licks at it with his tongue. He starts slow, picks up space and then slows it down again. You arch your back and pull him into you more as you find release against his face once more. Your legs begin shaking and you’re reluctant to let go of his hair. He pulls your hand from his head and kisses the back of your hand.

He lifts his head from you and pulls his fingers out, licking them clean. A devious smile on his face as he moves up to find your lips. He captures them in a kiss and you immediately taste yourself on his lips. You didn’t know what about it had turned you on, but it made another pool between your legs. Buck pulls back with your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on it just a bit. 

“Can you give me one more? You’re shaking and holding on pretty tight.” You nod your head and Buck bites his bottom lip before kissing you once more and heading back down. His fingers find that spot inside of you again and this time you hold nothing back. You let out every moan and whimper that graces your lips. It turns Buck on more as he finds your bud and licks at it relentlessly. From how good it felt you find yourself grinding into his face for more pressure. Buck tries to find release from his bed. He grinds his own hips into the bed as you moan from how good he’s making you feel. Your hips become sloppy and Buck knows you’re about to reach another release so he takes his free arm and wraps it around your hips. He locks you to the bed and continues his assault on your cunt. Within moments your moans become breathless gasps and Buck sits up to watch your face fully. Your eyes roll back and you cum but he doesn’t let up on his fingers and you find yourself squirting onto his chest. Buck in awe, cums in his underwear at the sight of you.

“Oh my god! I’m so sor-” you begin to panic. You had never experienced that in the many years you had been sexually active. No guy, or girl during your small phase, had ever made you feel like that. Buck immediately closes his eyes and you wish the bed would swallow you whole.

“No. No no no. Do not be sorry.” Buck gets off the bed and heads into the bathroom with a slight jog. You hear water running and then in seconds he’s back out and leaning over your trembling legs. “That was the hottest thing ever, oh my god.” His reassurance calms you almost immediately and you find it comforting that he wasn’t mad about it. He wipes at your legs and your core before making sure he’s got everything with another swipe of the towel. He immediately heads over to the dresser and digs into one of the drawers. He grabs a navy blue shirt and turns to head down the stairs. He comes back up and is holding sheets in his hand. You notice the wet spot, courtesy of you and a blush finds its way onto your cheeks. You grab the comforter and wrap yourself in it as Buck changes the sheets as fast as possible, then he turns to you with the shirt in hand and holds it out to you.

“I’m gonna go shower. Do you want to stay or do you want me to call an uber?” His voice is softer as you make your way back into the bed. He follows suit and places himself on the edge of the bed and his hand finds a place on your ankle. He’s rubbing soothing circles into it while your leg jerks ever so slightly.

“W-whatever you want…” You whisper it and Buck’s eyebrows crease. You had never been asked if you wanted to stay, let alone given something to sleep in. Buck smiles and his hand finds its way to your thigh and he pats it softly. He hands you the shirt before standing and heading towards the bathroom.

“It’s way too early to be kicking you out. I’ll drive you home tomorrow.” and with that he’s in the bathroom. You hear the shower turn on and then slight humming. You place the shirt over your head before fixing the duvet over the entire bed and lying down. Before long his pillow lulls you to sleep.

[iidesxreii]

‘You really shouldn’t hyperfixate on fictional characters’

God forbid a girl has a hobby 🤷🏼‍♀️

[iidesxreii]

‘Fuck the polic-‘ A GIRL IS TRYING HER BEST OVER HERE

[iidesxreii]

Anatomy - S. Reid

∘₊☽ Song: https://music.apple.com/us/album/anatomy-single/1695033802 ☽₊∘

╔ Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

☆ Word Count: 5.3k

☆ Category: Angst/Fluff (Opposites attract, what can I say?)

☆ Summary: You never talk about your father with anyone. And when you finally do allow yourself to think of all the reasons you come to a certain realization. One that took you years to admit. //My take on the song Anatomy by Kenzie.//

☆ Content: HURT/COMFORT, angst, flashbacks, dad problems GALORE

╚ A/N: Omg this is my first fic and it's been sitting in my drafts for like months. I was skeptical about posting this but I guess no better time than now you know? I have a couple more in the drafts and if this does any type of good, I'll release more! Bold are lyrics, italics are memories <3

Also!! This is LONG. I didn't realize how long until I scrolled through and my GOSH. Please grab snacks and tissues because this shit gets deep. PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU HATE IT I WONT BE MAD I SWEAR.

If you squint I slipped in some very slight father figure Hotch bc that’s my crack

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You called me today, on a random Tuesday

Don't ask me why I still have your number saved

You roll your eyes and double click your lock button to send the phone call to voicemail. You try to continue talking with the team, but within seconds your phone is ringing again. You sigh and pull your phone out fully but before you could send them to voicemail again, Hotch’s voice broke through to you. 

“Agent (Y/L/N). I don’t know who’s calling you, but please go answer. This is the 3rd time.” Hotch’s usual monotonous voice cuts through the conversation everyone else was having, the minute he does it goes quiet in the conference room. You breathe in deeply before licking your lips looking for a reply.

“Actually it’s the 18th time since you clocked in this morning. 3rd since we’ve landed.” Your all knowing, fast talking and ever so loving boyfriend chirps from the corkboard. Your eyes dart to him and you see that he hasn’t even turned an inch to look at you. Still focusing on the ins and outs of the case your team was supposed to be working on. You sigh before clearing your throat.

“Since you know SO much Reid, who is it?” You ask as you stand from your seat at the table. Morgan has a smile on his face as he watches you two fight like a married couple. Your hands land on your hips and Reid finally turns around. He has a file in his hands and the entire time he speaks he’s reading into it.

“Your father. I saw his name come up 4 times before we went to the round table room for debriefing.” He places the white board marker down before flipping a page in the file and continuing to read. You squint at him and make a face. Your boyfriend had terrible social cues, especially while on the job. He wasn’t the easiest to speak to sometimes, which is why you never let it bother you. Until now. Talking about your father brought the worst out in you. “If you’re going to ignore someone’s calls you could try blocking them or turning-” 

“Reid.” Hotch’s stern voice comes barreling through his train of thought and he finally looks up. When he sees your face his softens immediately. He didn’t know why you never spoke about your dad or why you never answered his calls. He also didn’t know why you never went home during your vacations or never spoke about your home life. But seeing you look so defeated after his last few words to you, he’s wanted to know more than ever. You roll your eyes and pull your phone out. You click your fathers name and the phone immediately redials and sends out the call. You show your colleagues and some of them jokingly laugh as you head out of the door. The phone rings 4 times before it picks up. And then you hear your father.

Hello, stranger, it's been forever

You're acting normal, but nothing's normal about

“Hey stranger! Seems like I can never get you on the phone nowadays!” Your dad’s voice cuts through the quiet silence after a beat of sitting on the phone. You clear your throat as you entire an office that was empty. It wasn't too far from your team so you could still keep an eye on them and gauge what they were talking about.

“Hi dad.” you mumbled into the phone. Your tone of voice did nothing to throw your father off his reason for calling you. You can hear the smile on his face when he continues talking.

“Are you busy? Do you have some time for catching up?” He asks so innocently but you fear that. Your dad never calls for just anything, there’s always something behind the call. Something you chose to stay away from.

“Ah…no.” You think about it for a second before answering. You should have said you were busy, or you shouldn't have called back and instead blocked his number but the thing about your father was you loved him. You always had, always will. He was your weak spot. No matter how many times he had proven he didn’t deserve second, third or fourth chances you gave him them all.

“My little FBI agent is finally quiet. You know you were never really a quiet kid-” he continued talking and you continued listening. Another notion towards you giving your father time that he doesnt deserve. You watch as your team continues shuffling around in the room, talking and marking up a board you can only see half of. 5 minutes later you see the door to their room open and you turn away. Within seconds you find your door opening and Morgan peeking his head in.

“Profile is ready. Good to go?” he asks. You turn to him and give him a thumbs up before returning to your call. The door closes and you take a peek at it before clearing your throat.

“Hey dad, I’ve got to go but…I’ve got some vacation time saved up. How about I come visit and we can go out for dinner.” you turn to look and find your team making their way out of the room and towards the open vast police station. A sure sign that they were about to give the profile without you.

“That’s a wonderful idea, munchkin. Let me know when. Stay safe.” you nod into the phone and immediately hang up. There was nothing more to say after that. You slide your phone on mute before sticking it in your pocket and opening the office door. Before you can head towards the team you feel a hand on your arm. You turn to find Spencer standing, waiting on you.

“Angel-” He doesn’t get any further before you smile and pull your arm gently from him. You didn’t want to talk, no matter how sad you looked or felt. Talking about your dad was never a good thing.

“Not right now, Spence. Profile time.” you deflect like you always have. Never talking about your father was normal to you. Nothing good had or could ever come from talking about your father.

Trust issues and soaking tissues

Your relationship with your father had turned sour about a year after him and your mom divorced. He stopped visiting, stopped calling, stopped sending money for you and your sister. Like he had just given up. And then one day he started calling back and his reasoning was because work had exhausted him and strained him beyond what he was used to but he was back and wasgoing to be there for you guys. If only 7 year old you had known the lie.

“I’m going to come and pick you guys up and we’ll hangout for the weekend. I told your mom I’d be there at 5. I love you guys, Munchkin.” his voice came through the phone one wednesday. Your sister, Ameilia, squealed and jumped on her bed before flopping down and grabbing her pillow to scream into.

“We love you too dad! We can’t wait!” You quickly hung up the phone and turned to your older sister who stopped in her tracks and immediately started digging through your shared closet for clothes to wear. You followed suit with the brightest smile on your face. Unknowingly to you and Ameilia, your mother was standing at your door with a worried look on her face.

Lyin' to my sister and sayin' I don't miss you

The false hope calls kept coming well into your teen years. The constant ‘I’ll pick you up’ and ‘I’m sorry I just got caught up in work’ conversations weren’t making it better. Each time he fell through he had a better lie than last time. Ones that made sense in your little brain. You didn’t finally grasp that he wasn’t ever coming until your 16th birthday. Your mom had saved up as much money as she could to pay for an extravagant party for you and you invited your dad. Of course he agreed and said he’d be in attendance that night which got you excited. But as the night droned on, and the end of your party came to a close you found that everything he had ever said in the last 9 years had been a lie. You knew you’d get a call sometime next weekend about how busy he had gotten, but you figured you’d let it ring. Maybe Amelia would answer.

“You okay?” Ameilia asks you a few days later. You’re working on something to keep yourself busy when you look up to her. She’s sitting on her bed playing with a small toy your dad had given her years ago. 

“I’m fine…” came your quiet voice. She looked up at you and scoffed before throwing the toy into the box labeled goodwill. She was cleaning her side of your guys room before college, and it seemed she was trying to get away from your dad. Something you knew you’d need to do yourself, but haven’t done just yet.

“Do you miss him?” came her soft voice. You turned to her once more before swallowing. You shuffled a bit on your bed before coming to the edge and sitting down. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. Do you lie? Tell the truth? “It’s okay if you do. I did too for a while.” you look up at this. Another toy gets tossed into the box and she looks back at you. 

“Do you still?” comes your quiet question. Your 16th birthday was the one time you expected your father to come through. But you couldn’t help but feel sad that he didn’t. You could deal with any other lie, but a lie about missing this big of a milestone in your life? inexcusible.

“Do me a favor.” You look up to find her standing from her bed. She has her hands on her hips, which is how you know she means what she’s about to say. “When I leave for school, if he keeps calling…don’t pick up. If the ringing bothers you pick it up and slam it back down. But don’t speak to him ever again. He’s not worth your tears (Y/N/N).”

With no closure, just getting older

Now almost 8 years after that conversation you still find it in you to have his number saved. You try not to answer the phone but his persistence quietly eats at the back of your brain making you answer the phone, though you’d never admit that to your sister. You’d never hear the end of it from her. She’d eat at you about the closure you both never got. Which would make you not want to disappoint her but you can’t make them both happy. So for now, you pretend you haven’t answered his calls in years. But you know and it eats at you. The pain you experienced from not really having your dad in your life made growing up harder than it should. Nobody to chase the boys away, nobody to cry to when you felt your mom was being unfair, nobody to bring you to the ‘daddy daughter’ dances. A figment of your imagination, a silhouette of a man you once knew. Nobody to introduce Spence to, have dinners with, walk you down the aisle when that time comes. Just emptiness. 

And the older you got the easier it got to ignore the calls. When you managed to get a job at the BAU every excuse after was about how busy you were. New case, no time on your hands, working overtime, no vacation time, ect. Nothing you ever came up with for an excuse was ever about something normal. It was always about your job. Which put you in a temporary peace of mind. Your phone stopped ringing all the time and only rang sometimes. Your call log stopped being filled with ‘dad’ and in turn at the top of your messages was always a new excuse on why you didn’t answer. And for a while the lies became easier, something you no longer thought about but instead typed out and sent before going back to sitting on your couch. Which had turned you into him, and made you feel guilty so you went back to answering.

But you still see me as a kid on your shoulders

“Can’t wait to see you again! We can go to the park and eat ice cream after!” is the first text you see when you come out of the house you and your team had just barged into. You don’t respond to the text, you instead clear your throat and lock your phone before looking around and checking which car you’d be riding back to the station in.

It's just anatomy, you're only half of me

“Why do you even care about dad? It’s not like he cared about us.” Your sister had asked during one thanksgiving where she was home from school. You shrugged before continuing to wipe off your makeup. Yet another festivity you had invited him to that he had missed.

“He did. At some point…” you whispered into the air. You watched Ameilia roll her eyes and scratch her nose before she threw her hands up and turned away from you. 

“Right. Blood doesn’t make you family you know. He’s only half of our DNA anyway.” She grabs her phone off her bed and heads out of your old shared room and towards the bathroom with a tune humming behind her. You wished you could feel like her. Thriving even without dad. Living.

Still, you don't know me at all

“Maybe we just do the ice cream. The park isn’t for me anymore.” is the only thing you text back. Before you can lock your phone a message comes in and you read it.

“Sorry Munchie. I forget you’re not so small anymore.” Munchie. He hadn’t called you that since before the divorce. It plays in your head over and over again before you will yourself to type something back.

“I am unfortunately 23 now, dad.” You lock your phone immediately before you can accidentally read another text. You go to slip your phone into your pocket and feel it vibrate almost immediately. You shrug it off and pay attention to what Hotch is telling you from the driver’s seat. Right now this is more important. Catching your killer is more important. But Munchie plays in your head anyway.

You've been my missing piece, so why aren't you missing me?

Guess I meant less than I thought

“You still don’t miss him?” you question your sister as she’s getting ready for bed. She turns to you and her smile drops immediately. 2 years ago she had asked if you missed him, and now you're asking her if she misses him. You know the answer though.

“Does he miss us?” You can hear the aggravation in her voice as she answers you. She pulls her blankets back on her old bed and plugs her phone onto the charger.

“Of course he does.” comes your reply. She turns and places her hands on her hips, a notion that she was getting serious.

“Text him. Text him that you miss him and tell me what he says." She motions towards your phone before walking out of your room. An hour later she come back in from her shower and heads to her own bed. She sits down and reaches for the lamp that was on. “Anything?”

“No…” comes your solemn reply. You had been staring at the phone since you sent it. Eyes bloodshot and bleary.

“Open your fucking eyes, (Y/N).” and then the light is gone. And all you are left with is a broken heart, a fading phone screen, and tears streaming down your face.

It's just anatomy

Hate that you're half of me

“Dinner guys?” Hotch voices as you all leave the station with one more bad guy caught. You look over your team who is all fondly talking to one another.

“Absolutely. All on you Hotch?” Morgan jokes while clapping Hotch on the shoulder. Hotch spares him a side eye before letting out a small chuckle. 

“Absolutely not.” He pats Morgan’s chest before turning to you and Reid. The entire team turns and you find everyone staring at you. Spencer included. 

“(Y/N)?” JJ has her bottom lip between her teeth and she’s holding back a smile. You chalk up wallowing in self pity to a later time and smile.

“Family dinner it is.” Spencer smiles at you before throwing an arm over your shoulder and walking with you to the car.

Hate when people say that our noses are the same

So I went and got a change, like three-quarters of L.A

Three weeks later you’re walking in from lunch with Spencer when you see the rest of your team crowding around Penelope. She has an ipad in her hands and she’s pointing at something on it when you both approach. You find a picture of JJ’s family on it and they’re pointing out the similarities in JJ now. You shake your head and head to your desk when you hear your name.

“Wow (Y/L/N). You look just like your dad.” Emily’s voice cuts through the team’s jabbering and you freeze. You hated hearing that. You looked like him and now you don’t reach out like him. Every call is from him and not from you.

“What?” You ask, turning around slowly. Emily points at the Ipad in Penelope’s hand and Penelope turns it to you. You find a picture of you, Amelia, your mom and your dad all dressed in your sunday best for easter photos. You had to be no older than 6. Sometime right before the divorce.

“It’s like copy and paste.” JJ smiles at you and you try to fake one back. Except it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Jj, Penelope and Emily all notice and like a switch the Ipad is turned around and they all shut up.

“Except her nose is a bit smaller now. It was larger when she was a kid.” Morgan continues. He has a smile on his face and he shows no limit of stopping. Emily turns to him and you see her make a gesture that he completely ignores. JJ taps at his biceps and he shakes it off. Reid goes to open his mouth and stop him but the damage is done. “You get a nose job (Y/L/N)?” everyone's eyes go wide and you blink a few times. Before he can rush out an apology you’re cleaning your desk and grabbing your things. You needed an out. You wanted no one to know about your father or your nose job, but now your whole team knew.

And I've dated shitty people 'cause of how you treated mom

Now I'm with somebody good, but I'm still feeling numb 'cause of

The next day you come in and the subject is on shitty exes. JJ, Emily and Penelope are discussing the ins and outs of how shitty their love life has been or is going. Except obviously JJ. She’s got Will and a newborn. Who wouldn’t love to be in JJ’s shoes. You reach your desk and keep quiet. You’d usually add in your two cents by now but with what had happened yesterday and your abrupt shift end you don’t add your input due to the shitty list of men you had from the ripe age of 14 to 20. Instead you listen to theirs. And it wasn’t like you were expecting an apology. You weren’t. You were just taking your time in getting over the fact that you’d never be able to skip the accusations of looking exactly like your father. A spitting image of him. Like a mirror.

“How is it to be with Reid? Is he how I think he is?” Emily speaks to you first. You turn to her with a relaxed smile and lean back in your chair. You cross your legs over the other and cock your head.

“How do you think he is?” you question her. She looks at JJ and Pen before clearing her throat and giving you an awkward smile.

“The same here, but more relaxed. And always talking your ear off.” JJ holds back a laugh by licking her bottom lip and Pen just smacks Emily’s arm softly.

“He’s actually quieter. And cuddlier than in public, but that’s because he doesn’t like PDA.” You shrug like this is  normal conversation. And of course it is because it’s you talking to your girl friends about your boyfriend, but it isn’t because these are your teammates and your boyfriend is one of them.

“Hey about yesterday-” Emily starts but you wave her off. You make a funny face before stretching.

“No apologies needed. It’s fine.” and then you turn back towards your desk and you continue working on the file at hand. You play it off well but you refuse to let them know that their words have been on constant repeat in your head since you heard them. 

Trust issues, I'm soaking tissues

Lyin' to my sister like I never miss you

Ameilia calls you and catches you off guard the weekend after it happens. She starts the call off by saying something about her wedding which gives you a moment to collect yourself from the multiple crying sessions you’ve had. But you slip and let out a sniffle and she hears it. She stops all conversation and listens for a minute. You try to play it off and speak to her but your voice gives it away.

“What’s wrong?” she asks into the phone. You sniffle again before clearing your throat. You give yourself some time before answering and sigh.

“Nothing Ames. Continue talking about your wedding.” You plaster a fake smile on your face even though she can’t see you. You wipe at your bloodshot eyes and throw yet another tissue into the pile on the table.

“Is it dad?” she asks. You open your mouth to disagree and stop yourself. Then you continue with your lie. You’re just as bad as him, half of him. A liar.

“What? No. I don’t talk to him-” you start to go on a tangent and you hear your sister’s voice break your train of thought. 

“I know you’re still talking to him. I spoke to mom.” Is the only thing she says to you. You sigh into the phone and shake our head. Leave it to your mother to break your 8 year lie apart

“I-” you start but you hear your sister on the other line. She sighs and sniffles before quickly covering it up with clearing her throat.

“I wish I loved him the same way you do. I really do.” And without missing another beat she goes back to talking about her wedding. Anything to not talk about dad.

Say you'll visit, empty promise

God, I wish that for once you'd be honest

A couple of weeks go past and you’re back in your hometown with Spencer. He hadn’t managed to get vacation time with you, but he had a couple of days saved up and decided to use 2 of them for dinner with your dad. Something you had asked him for and he immediately dropped everything to be in attendance. He knew the history with your father. And how much you tried to refuse talking to him. He thought that if you could face this, he’d be able to ask your father if he could marry you. Because that was all he was waiting for, a chance to ask properly.

So you found a hotel and a great place for dinner. Texted your dad and told him where and when to meet you. You got dressed in the hotel room, called a cab to ride in for the dinner and walked in with your head high when you said you had a reservation for 3. You sat at the table shuffling with anxiety and Spencer watched hoping that this wouldn’t be like all the other times. The times that had you sniffling and crying for days on end. The times you spent in your apartment and not his because you didn’t want him seeing you that way. But as time went on, one hour went to two and then three and your drinks went from just one to six. He saw the look on your face. One of defeat and embarrassment. And you chalked it up to another defeat when you called your waiter over and had them close out your six cup wine tab and Spencer’s one glass of water. You signed the $300 dollar tab and left two crisp hundred dollar bills for wasting your waiter’s time and stood. Spencer followed and you both made your way to the hotel.

It's just anatomy, you're only half of me

Still, you don't know me at all

“I’m sorry. I got caught up in some work and fell asleep at the office. Dinner on me next week instead? You’ll still be in town then right?” You read the text and throw your phone on the bed and turn to Spencer who is looking at you with his hands in his pocket. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls his hands from his pockets and opens his arms for you to fall into. And you do. You sigh and fall into his arms and waste no time crying your eyes out.

You've been my missing piece, so why aren't you missing me?

Guess I meant less than I thought

You now understood why Ameilia never sent your father a wedding invite. He wouldn’t pull through back then for either of you, what makes your silly little heart think he’d pull through last night? Or for her wedding? Another ping finds your ears as you watch Spencer gather his things for the airport.

“Munchie. I’m sorry.” “Munchie, I'll be at The Brindleton for lunch. My treat.” “Munchie. Please call me back. I love you”. You don’t notice Spencer looking at you or the tilt in his head as he analyzes your body language. He’s trying to gauge how you feel about your father because unbeknownst to you, you crying in his arms last night solidified that maybe you were ready for anything that comes after 3 years 9 months 19 days and 6 hours of dating. That black velvet box that has been sitting behind the books you find most boring on his bookshelf is now digging a hole into his heart. You look up and find him staring and you just smile at him. And he smiles back.

It's just anatomy

Hate that you're half of me

You flew in 3 hours ago and found yourself at Spencer’s place. Playing with his fingers as he lays on the couch underneath you. Your phone blares your ringtone and Spencer looks at you. You pick it up, watch it ring and when it’s done he notices the multitude of calls you’ve missed. 19. All of them from your father. And he watches as you open your phone, and block his number. Then you delete his contact and set your phone down again. He watches as you contently lie back down and sigh. A silent relief falling off your shoulders. His eyes fly to the bookshelf and then back to you. 

“Hey, why'd you come straight to mine?” Spencer crane's his neck to look at you and you shrug. You spare him no glance as you melt into him even more. He wouldn't have thought that was possible minutes ago.

“I was ready to come home.” your simple answer does it for him. He makes up his mind immediately. And you do too.

It's just anatomy, you make up half of me

On your 4 year anniversary Spencer pops the question. Over dinner at home. And of course you say yes, excited to show your mom and sister. No longer does your father cross your mind. Instead it’s filled with what your future could look like. Half Spencer, half you.

But still, you don't know me at all

You get the occasional call to your work phone but you’ve seen that number before and instead you ignore it. Spencer and the team watches as you do. No longer does it bother anyone because the only place he can reach you is work, and unfortunately a lot of calls go unanswered as a government worker. 

You've been my missing piece, so why aren't you missing me?

You watch your sister walk down the aisle in front of you with her fiance’s dad guiding her. Which makes you think about how you’d like to walk you down the aisle. You turn to Spencer who’s looking ahead at your sister and smile. Your missing piece was never your father. You just held a spot open for someone to love and missed the clear sign that there was always someone there.

Guess I meant less than I thought

A year and a half go by and you’re sitting at your sister’s house with Spencer. She hands you a small box and you find a small cupcake, its topper, a baby pacifier. You gasp as you stand and reach for your sister with wide eyes. She squeals as you squeeze her and turn to Spencer who has dug his finger in the icing of your cupcake. You roll your eyes and turn to Ameilia.

“You are going to be the BEST auntie ever. I love you.” it no longer hurts to hear I love you. Especially when you know the person saying it means it. It means even more when you know you mean it too.

“I love you more.”

It's just anatomy

“For all it’s worth…I knew you had a nose job. I just loved your face so much I never said anything.” Spencer whispers into your ear the night before the wedding. You roll over and face him with creased eyebrows. 

“Are you sure it isn’t because you profiled me and knew I wasn’t going to ever recover if you had told me you knew?” You ask it in a joking way but Spencer can see the truth behind it. 5 years, 7 months, 24 days, 23 hours and 56 minutes of loving you and he can tell everything about you. He never misses a chance to learn something new though. 

“It could be that…” he mumbles as he shoves his face between your breasts in a way of getting more comfortable. If neither of you get any sleep the wedding won’t be exactly as you planned it. And he would hate to make his bride’s perfect wedding go wrong. “Angel, it’s just anatomy. I wouldn’t have cared. I still don’t.” he whispers it and you almost don’t hear it. Almost. But you do and you shuffle closer before wrapping your arms around him.

“And that is why I said yes.” you kiss the top of his head before closing your eyes and attempting to fall asleep. A full day is ahead of you in no less than 10 hours.

Hate that you're half of me

“You ready?” you turn and find Hotch at your side. You wouldn’t have asked for a better father figure to walk you down the aisle. And he was honored you asked. He turns to you and adjusts your dress once more mumbling about modesty and returns to your right side. He holds his arm out for you and you lay your hand in the slit of his elbow.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” comes your response. And within seconds the door is opening, the music is playing, and Hotch is walking you down the aisle. Blood surely didn’t make this family, you did. The BAU was your family. Your dad was just…anatomy.

[iidesxreii]

Do you ever look at Jensen Ackles and feel like you’re about to burst into flames?

[iidesxreii]

doot doot

Noot noot

[iidesxreii]

he can cell block d me any day

[iidesxreii]

[iidesxreii]

[iidesxreii]

don't fucking interrupt me when i'm reading my x reader fics it's rude