iimnotevenreal

[iimnotevenreal]

does anyone else want a dr where you’re like… a stripper but wattpad version. so like you’re like working at a strip club casually and then your sexy mafia boss comes in and decides you’re special and suddenly you’re his. now you have this man spoiling you and treating you like a doll, basically a sugar daddy but not really. then boom, you fall in love, you quit your job and finally give in to letting him take care of you, you move in and get married. happily ever after.

and also you’re like 23 and he’s in his mid 30s-40s. because why not.

[iimnotevenreal]

day two ~ success… kinda

emma’s (@hrrtshape) 14 day manifestation challenge*

intention ~ things go right for me by default

test ~ assume you’ll avoid inconvience

affirmation ~ “things always go right for me, even if they shouldn’t”

*this is not word for word

onto storytime!

so for context, i’m currently in texas visiting my dad (he’s here for flight school) and unfortunately, their rainy season consists of high winds and day-long storms.

today (or yesterday technically), is one of those rainy days. now, day starts off great. we go to a little diner, the food is really good, the waitress is really nice and she gave us lollipops. then it’s time for us to leave and it is pouring down outside. my dad goes out first to get the truck, then i dash outside, obviously, my clothes are now wet. that doesn’t really bother me because a little rain never hurt anyone and my clothes dried in like 5 seconds.

as we’re driving back to our rv, i’m just thinking to myself “oh it’ll clear up soon, whatever, sunshine and rainbows” then i immediately fall asleep. i wake up to completely clear skies and us driving past the most beautiful house i’ve ever seen. it’s near a farm, its 2 stories, green vines on the front, HUGE horse statue, and surrounded by trees. when i tell you it was straight out of pinterest i mean oh my god it was absolutely gorgeous, i can’t believe that i just witnessed perfection.

anyways, we get back to the rv, my mom makes one of my favorite dishes, chicken alfredo and my least favorite green, spinach 😔

moral of the story: there was some good, some not so good but it was overall a good day for me.

june 14th, 2025 ~ day completion

june 20th, 2025 ~ posted

[iimnotevenreal]

IM GETTING A CATTT

my dad said he’s getting me another cat after , LITERALLY YEARS, of begging, happiest day of my LIFE.

literally go do emma’s (@hrrtshape) 14 day manifesting challenge rn cuz wtf, i’m literally freaking tf out rn.

day 6 i think (?)

[iimnotevenreal]

why have i been wasting time on methods and random shit when i can just shift whenever and wherever i want

it’s the best feeling to know that i can, in fact, shift whenever and instead of obsessing over it every night, i just choose when i want to wake up in another reality and do it.

[iimnotevenreal]

maybe i’m going insane, but sometimes the voice in my head whispers to me

by that i mean sometimes i’ll ask myself questions and she’ll answer me. it’s weird but oddly reassuring.

[iimnotevenreal]

yo idk wtf happened last night

so basically, its 4 in the fucking morning and i just woke up hot and sweaty bc i decided to sleep under my comforter in the middle of texas’ hot ass weather. i’m on my phone scrolling through random apps bc i can’t go back to sleep until i cool down.

maybe 30-45 minutes pass and i’m finally falling back asleep, we got a little problem though. its hard for me to describe exactly what happened but every time i’d doze off, my heartbeat speed up and it was like my breathing paused. obviously now i’m tryna stay awake because i know whats gonna happen and i don’t want that to happen.

i stayed awake for maybe 10 more minutes before i was out. i then mentally wake up, heart racing and its like i’m having a panic attack in the middle of me sleeping. so im freaking out bc i can’t move, i can’t open my eyes, all i can do is think and feel my heart practically vibrating.

so freaking out leads to “this isn’t real, i’m awake” over and over paired with me trying to force my eyes open. sleep paralysis (or whatever that was) is SCARY. as much as i’d love to use it to shift or for anything even remotely productive, it has forced me into a panic attack the 3 times (including yesterday) that i’ve experienced it.

[iimnotevenreal]

day one ~ success!

emma’s (@hrrtshape) 14 day manifestation challenge*

intention ~ the 3D reflects my thoughts, not the other way around

test ~ choose a word and decide you’ll hear it today

affirmation ~ “my assumptions are law. i think it, i see it”

my word was cat bc they’re my favorite animal.

*this is not word-for-word, its based off what i remember

onto the story portion

i literally just followed the challenge, so there’s not much to say about this. i will say though, around 6pm, i started doubting that i hear my word, assuming that it’ll happen regardless is what helped me push through. literally like 30 minutes later, my dad asked me to take out the trash then started talking about the cats near the bin.

i think it’s worth mentioning that i’ve been successfully manifesting for a while now, this is more so for fun rather than anything serious <3

heres the link:

june 13th, 2025

i am so lazy with my posts and i will never change

[iimnotevenreal]

i just found out about the slipknot crow jar

what the actual fuck.

proceed with caution: overall nauseating topics

let me preface this by saying that i love slipknot (well their music). my favorite songs by them are duality and before i forget if you care.

that being said, what the hell.

they and their fanbase are so fucking disgusting.

you’re telling me that clown brings a decomposing crow in a jar to shows for two years and y’all are just completely okay with that? not only that but y’all are fucking huffingthat shit like its that good stuff???

in addition to that, they would fucking vomit on their crowd after smelling it. again, what the fuck.

what kind of nasty, fucked up shit is this?

genuinely, this shit just ruined one of my favorite bands. i literally cannot listen to their music anymore because that is ALL i will think about. there is no separating the art from the artist for me.

and if it wasn’t already bad enough (here’s where the fanbase comes in), they gave it to the crowd and i want you to guess what they did with it.

i’m telling you now, you’re probably wrong.

they took it out of the fucking jar and ate it. by time this happened, the crow had been 2 years decomposed and was basically brown sludge.

and it gets worse than that.

slipknot is a fucking disgusting band, clown is the worst of them all. he’s a fucking dickhead and he’s fucking mental.

this sounds bad, but i hope the worst for him. he deserves the absolute worst.

fucking disgusting, ruined one of my favorite bands. i’m not even gonna get into it on here, but oh my fuck. i hope he dies slowly and painfully but he’d probably like that shit.

now im gonna go remove all of their songs from my playlist

[iimnotevenreal]

friendly reminder that you don’t need to believe

if you didn’t already know, you don’t need to believe.

you don’t need to believe you will shift

you don’t need to believe that manifesting works

you don’t need to believe that you have your desire

you know what you do need? no? let me tell you.

you need to know that regardless of what you do and don’t believe, what you doubt, how many reality checks you do, reality will always be in your favor. you need to know that you will always get what you want regardless. you need to know that your doubts do not change or determine the outcome.

you know that you’re doubts are there to hold you back, to keep you grounded and humbled. the reality is, whether you give your doubts acknowledgment or not, it doesn’t change the outcome. never has, never will. what does change the outcome is when you start to believe the doubts.

listening to doubts is like being a world famous model and being told that you can’t runway walk to save your life then agreeing. this is something you trained for your entire life, built up confidence for, been media trained for, spent hours on end practicing and perfecting your walk for. you know that you walk in the room and the spotlights on you, everyone’s silent, waiting for you to set the next fashion trend, so why are you believing some random? what do they know? you’re amazing at what you do and you’re gonna let a few nasty comments stop you from doing what you love? fuck no.

dumb little analogy, but short story shorter, you don’t need to believe, you just need to know that doubts hold no power. that is, unless you hand it to them.

[iimnotevenreal]

AHHHH. i am so FUCKING SMART.

my last post about my last exam? i got the highest score out of my entire class (560 out of 600). I GOT A FUCKING 96%.

i scored higher than that fucking snarky bitch in my class that always brags about how fast she finishes her work and how its so easy and she never has any work to do. BITCH THATS WHY TF YOU SITTING OVER THERE WITH YOUR 84%.

not only was she silent as hell all class (she’s the most talkative person to ever walk this earth) but she ALSO was salty asl. why tf she say “i could’ve scored higher if i wanted to but i’m dropping this class next year anyways.”

stop playing girl 😔 you’re the only person in class thats always talking about grades and classwork, you know you cared. and be so fr, you’re telling me you got questions wrong, INTENTIONALLY? because you didn’t feel like trying? bitch please.

[iimnotevenreal]

one more exam, guys

ughhhhhhh

i gotta lock tf in.

also my fourth quarter grades are horrendous but 3.9 gpa so idgaf.

…

what if i just ended it.

nah

next topic

oh my fucking god.

there’s always that one person that has a problem with you for no fucking reason.

basically, i was volunteering at my local stadium cuz my grandfather does it with his organization. i’ve done this before with my middle sister B but my youngest sister C has been BEGGING to come and we finally got the okay for her to go.

so we get there at 4:30pm, go in through the service entrance, sign in, and go wait at our areas until the place opens 45 minutes to an hour later. im at the register, B is near the food, C is at the drink station. everything’s fine an dandy, right?

wrong.

tell me why this fucking cocksucker that i’ve never seen before walks in and goes “who’s kids are these?”

SHUT THE FUCK UP

instead of asking me or my sisters what we were doing behind the counter, he looks for our grandpa. mind you, we are volunteering aka FREE LABOR. and who the absolute fuck wants to just chill behind the register for an hour for no fucking reason? if we’re there, obviously we’re there for a reason.

what does he do next? he says “they can’t be back here, they gotta go.”

WHERE?? WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU SUGGEST WE GO?

what if my grandfather was my ride (he wasn’t, my mom was)? we don’t have tickets or seats so where do you suggest we sit in a full stadium?

so we’re fucking kicked out and now we’re standing outside while i call our mom to come pick us up. she’s not expecting me to call since we weren’t supposed to be done until 9pm so now she has to drop what she was doing to come pick us up.

never a-fucking-gain. i will never in my fucking life be going back there. you don’t want my help? fine. you don’t want to treat me with common decency and respect? fine. you want to kick us out without even asking what we were doing? fucking fine. see if i ever take the time out of my day to try to help yall again. yall are fucking under staffed but hey, you don’t want me to help then i won’t.

now guess what? people who were supposed to be cooking or getting food have to take orders as well. fucking failure of a business. no wonder why no one wants to work there, management is a fucking piece of shit.

but i don’t get to see work fine shyt anymore 😔

[iimnotevenreal]

sigh.

i hate when i find out that other people do that same things that i do because know i feel like i’m doing it because of them.

exhibit A: the anti-method by idk who

this method included the thought or idea “what if i already shifted and just forgot?” a thought that i think 24/7, or used to. now i feel like i’m just doing it because someone said it was a method to shift.

and i love this thought. now its ruined for me because it feels fake and forced and i hate it.

i’ve always been like this, even with little things like the way i used to brush my teeth, water-toothpaste-water-brush.

telling me that you do something that i also do is a sure fire way to get me to stop. i have broken lifelong habits in 5 minutes like this.

i genuinely hate this about myself because the anti-method is probably the best method ive found in so long and now i can’t do it without feeling like i’m forcing it.

[iimnotevenreal]

i have got to stop reading tumblr posts.

i hate them so much.

what the high hell are you talking about

“act like the person who already has it”

“stop looking for evidence that you have it”

“blah fucking blah blah”

as someone who manifests OFTEN and learned how to do it within a week ON MY OWN, if this shit confuses me,

how do you expect someone who has no clue how to manifest, no clue what these words mean, to understand?

let that sink in for a moment.

if this confuses someone who knows how to manifest, how do you expect a beginner to understand?

when manifesting, you are quite literally manifesting something to happen. how can you know it happened if you don’t see any physical evidence? how can you live in the state of having something when you don’t have it?

what i mean is:

if i manifest (for example) $500 to pay my rent, how can i live as if i have it already? do you want me to pay my rent with money i don’t yet have? do you want me to be happy that i already paid my rent as i receive texts from my landlord that rents due monday?

how can i act like i already have the money when if i did, i wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to pay this months rent. how can i stop looking for evidence of my money when i’m 5 seconds from being evicted?

this is why people struggle and constantly ask the same questions, you’re telling them to do something they don’t understand.

now, i know that tumblr bloggers are trying to explain to the best of their abilities, but if you look at this like a beginner, does this make sense to you?

the answer is no.

this is why i scroll whenever i see posts that are so-called ‘tips’ or ‘explanations.’

if there’s one thing a tumblr mf can’t do, its make ANYTHING make sense. if any of the select mfs i have in mind see this, don’t quit your day job.

don’t get me wrong, i love tumblr but i’ll be damned if it’s not the most confusing thing ever. it’s like trying to translate what babies say when they start making a bunch of noise. i just want them to shuttt up.

how thee fuck, do you manage to confuse someone who already knows how to do these things.

p.s. the best thing you can do if you’re confused, is get off of the internet. something that confuses you will usually never suddenly give you the answer, they’re repeating the same stuff.

p.p.s. if your stuck on manifesting. don’t act like you have it, know that you WILL have it, know that it IS coming to you.

[iimnotevenreal]

i LOVE being a master of maniesting.

this shit is so fking easy now.

literally 30 minutes ago, i was begging my mom to let my stay home from school and she kept saying no.

never back down, never what?!!

i go to my room and i think, “she’s gonna say yes” “i’m staying home” “she’s gonna say yes”

then i text her

“can i pleaseeeee stay home 🙏🏾🧎🏾‍♀️”

and what does she say?

“sure.”

dry asf BUT GUESS WHOS STAYING HOME WHILE MY SIBLINGS GO TO SCHOOL?

ME

next topic :D

and while im on here, does anyone else fking hate everything that loasscheeks tumblr says?

“surrender to imagination”

“ignore the 3D”

“assumption is what you assume is true”

“blah blah idk wtf im talking about so im gonna spew the same bs everyone else says-!” cue know-it-all tweaking

like OMFG SHUT THE HELL UP.

as someone who struggled with the loa for the longest time and never knew why, the loasscheeks is not all of this bs. you don’t have to live in the 4D and ignore the 3D, no you don’t have to believe what you assume is true either.

NEWSFLASH: NONE OF THIS DOGSHIT IS THE LOA.

you know what it is? a bunch of extra steps to make your life harder while evb else gets what they want <3

you want the real loa? know that anything you want is what you’ll get and don’t accept anything less than that.

keyword, know.

know, know, know.

you don’t have to “live in the 4D”, whatever the fuck that means or “ignore the 3D”, again whatever the fuck that means, especially when it’s what you see everyday.

you just need to affirm as if you know what’s going to happen (bc you do). then hold on to the fact that bc you already know what’s gonna happen, you know you’ll get what you want.

the law of assumption is not assuming something is true, its knowing.

but hay 🐴🌾

i could be wrong, maybe to loasscheeks know-it-alls rely do know it all. in that case, i present to you,

the law of knowing.

lok for short, as in lock, as in lock it tf in.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

p.s. this is realization is how i went from being absolute balls at manifesting to manifesting instantly with a few days.

p.p.s. has anyone noticed that when saying what you want aka manifesting, it feels different than normally thinking?

[iimnotevenreal]

OH. MY. GOD.

i just had the BIGGEST fucking realization ever.

expectations are EVERYTHING.

i saw a post saying that they woke up late for their exam then shifted to a reality where they woke up extremely early. my thought process was “damn thats cool, lemme try that” but as i did so i realized that i was expecting this not to work. so it didn’t.

a second realization: if i expect it not to work, it won’t. the reason why all these years i haven’t shifted, is because every attempt, even if i didn’t direct acknowledge it, i felt like i would be unsuccessful. and every time, i was unsuccessful. this applies to shifting, manifesting, even studying.

a third realization: only you can change your mindset. no matter how many blogs you read, tutorials you watch, or shifters you listen to, they can’t change your mindset. reading or watching or listening to the same thing over and over won’t make it hit different. you have to come to that realization on your own.

the last realization: this has been said a million times but every opportunity, is one to learn and grow. i wasn’t expecting that realization, but it came and i took that and i’m using it to learn and shift.

“I said a boom-chicka-rocka-chicka- rocka-chicka boom!”

-Bill Martin Jr. & John Archambault

[iimnotevenreal]

Here’s A Bunch of Things I Love (I’m Feeling Grateful)

i love myself

i love my family

i love all of my pets

i love meditating

i love cats

i love my best friends

i love crocheting

i love creative writing

i love movies

i love shifting

i love the void

i love manifesting whatever i want

i love being spoiled

i love sleeping in

i love staying up late

i love learning

i love shiftblr

i love the smell of hair products

i love crocheting

i love being creative

i love drawing

i love the taste of my melatonin gummies

i love my mom’s cooking

i love gumbo and rice

i love taking long baths/showers

i love being home alone

i love lazy days

i love traveling

i love when colors perfectly complement each other

i love when pretty people date

i love not being the average teenager

i love having hobbies

i love getting paid

i love being myself

i love unique decorations

i love seeing beautiful people

i love reconnecting with old friends

i love my local crystal shop

i love warm scents

i love smelling good

i love doing my hair

i love myself (again)

i love cats (again)

-love, alayna

[iimnotevenreal]

IT’S OKAY TO DOUBT

reminder: this applies to everything, but i’d like to point this discussion towards manifesting.

it is completely okay to doubt. doubt is a natural emotion and it’s something that everyone experiences, even ‘pro’ (everyone is a pro when its something as easy as shifting or manifesting) shifters and manifestors.

recently, i’ve decided that what i say goes and thats final, or in other words, everything goes my way. that being said, i also doubt myself more often than i should, but i know that regardless, everything goes my way.

exhibit A:

today, i ordered ihop and it said estimated delivery by 3:15pm, latest delivery by 3:40pm. i saw that and decided i was going to my food by 3:15. in the back of my mind, i thought ‘well how do i know that? thats not my choice.’ and i acknowledged, ignored, and reaffirmed. now, i want you to guess what was at my door step by 3:13? my food.

exhibit B:

this weekend, i was going to the store with my grandpa and i didn’t bring a jacket. as we were driving, it started raining. i decided that it was going to brighten up and the rain clouds would move past my area. i had doubts, how would i decide the weather? i acknowledged it, ignored it, and reaffirmed. once we got to the store, there was clear skies and it was the sunniest it had been all week.

here’s an acronym for you:

A.I.R

having doubts? Acknowledge, Ignore, Reaffirm.

that’s it. go get what you want.

and you know what i want? to shift. and you know i’m gonna do tonight? exactly that.

-alayna, the girl behind the blog.