ill-try-to-do-book-reviews

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

The Long Walk

Richard Bachman (Stephen King)

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯 (3/5)

As a young teen, I was a huge fan of King's. I read most of the works he had at my library until I fell out of love with the hobby. Now that I'm making a dedicated effort to get back into it, I thought a King classic was in order. It may be nostalgia clouding my view, but this book is not as good as his other works. It's not bad, either, though, and falls squarely in the middle of "meh" for me.

SUMMARY: "Against the wishes of his mother, sixteen-year-old Ray Garraty is about to compete in the annual grueling match of stamina and wits known as The Long Walk. One hundred boys must keep a steady pace of four miles per hour without ever stopping... with the winner being awarded "The Prize"—anything he wants for the rest of his life. But, as part of this national tournament that sweeps through a dystopian America year after year, there are some harsh rules that Garraty and ninety-nine others must adhere to in order to beat out the rest. There is no finish line—the winner is the last man standing. Contestants cannot receive any outside aid whatsoever. Slow down under the speed limit and you're given a warning. Three warnings and you're out of the game—permanently..."

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): For whatever reason, this book was gruelling to get through. It was just so damn slow. Which makes sense, given the premise, but it just felt so hard to convince myself to pick it up again once I had put it down.

The premise is great - I'm a huge fan of dystopian horror. The kills, the ones we get in detail, are fantastic. Collie Parker managing to make it up onto a halftrack and killing a soldier was great. Barkovitch ripping his own throat out was brutal, but it came out of nowhere for me. I felt a little bad for him, to be hated like that, even though he certainly deserved it. Olson's death was slow and painful and written in a way I really enjoyed. I think if the rest of the book had been similar, I would have liked it more.

There are plotlines in this book that I found hard to follow. Namely, Garraty's father, Scramm's wife, the repeated mentions of Garraty perhaps being queer, and McVries, too. Freaky Di'Allesio should be on this list too, but I was able to follow that idea better than the rest.

I just didn't understand the point of all these. This book felt like the opposite of Chekov's gun. What use was bringing Garraty's father up so much? Scramm's wife being mentioned makes sense and I like the promise they all made, but what good is it if Garraty just snaps at the end? What the hell is the point of Garraty or McVries possibly being queer? None of it made much sense to me, at least.

One thing I did enjoy about the book was Stebbins. His slow, constant progress was fantastic. He was like a shadow to them all, like death himself marching. He was there even when the Major wasn't, filling in that role. The one-off line about him being a white rabbit towards the beginning had a fantastic payoff with the reveal of him being the Major's son.

I didn't like the end, though. The dark figure just came out of nowhere, I feel like. Garraty was holding it together remarkably until the very end, and that just felt cheap. Especially with such an ambiguous ending. Is the figure his father? That could have at least tied up that plot line.

I understand and recognize the use for ambigious endings and generally, I am a fan. This one just didn't work for me, unfortunately.

Overall, very middle of the road book. I do think it has great movie potetial, though, and am excited to see what comes out of that come September.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Playground

Aron Beauregard

Rating:  🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯 (5/5)

Playground is a novel that I saw recommended constantly among extreme horror lit circles. I've only just begun to dip my toes into the extreme horror genre, but this was truly a fantastic starting point. It is gory, disgusting, and incredibly explicit. Certainly not for the faint of heart, but it was a very intriguing read.

SUMMARY: "ONCE IN A LIFETIME

Three low-income families have been given a handsome retainer to join Geraldine Borden for a day at her cliffside estate. All the parents must do to collect the rest of their money is allow their children to test out the revolutionary playground equipment Geraldine has been working on for decades. But there’s a reason the structures in the bowels of her gothic castle have taken so long to develop—they were never meant to see the light of day.

When a band of dysfunctional children is suddenly thrust into a diabolical realm of violence, they must grow up instantly to have a chance at survival. Will they find a way to put their differences aside, or be swallowed up by the insidious architecture all around them?"

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): The summary provided on Goodreads does not do this book justice. the cover does not do this book justice. The illustrations within this book, honestly, do. They're fantastic, and I had no idea they were even included, but they truly helped me with imagining some of the tougher scenarios.

Unfortunately, I can't speak much to the illustrations within, though, as Beauregard does a wonderful job of painting a picture with his writing. There are several scenes that have stuck with me over the past week since I finished this book.

To begin, the scene with Geraldine in her room of mirrors was horrific. I don't mean the flashbacks (though those were just as bad), I mean the descriptions of her using the nastiest, crustiest, most unclean dildo I have ever heard of in my life. The scene of her forcing Rock to perform oral on her is equally as horrific.

The flashbacks are something that stick in my head, too. Geraldine is truly a severely depraved individual, using her mother's feces to masturbate with and then raping her mother literally to death sets up a very horrible, vivid example of just how depraved Geraldine is. The fact that she later hires a Nazi to work with her only adds to this.

The traps within the book are some of the best extreme horror traps I have ever seen. The scene with Bobby riding the poor Grimley girl had me literally put my phone down in shock for a few minutes! The illustration that tagged along helped it quite a bit.

Overall, there isn't much I can say about this book that wouldn't be ridiculously repetitive. If you're new to splatterpunk, this is certainly on the more extreme side, so I can't recommend it to total beginners, but if you like the Saw movies and feel like they could go further, this is definitely where it's at.

On a side tangent from the book itself, those 1 star Goodreads reviews make me laugh. I understand this book is certainly not everyone's cup of tea, but to call it misogynistic because Geraldine, the most depraved psychopath ever, is described as disgusting because her vagina is nasty and unwashed and literally crusty and riddled with sores? That is wild to me. Makes me laugh, though.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰 📚

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

The Final Girl Support Group

Grady Hendrix

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯 (5/5)

This book is fantastic. Everywhere that you see a review for it, you're going to see someone saying that it is a "subversion of expectations" or is "putting a spin on your classic slasher". Seeing such specific praise from so many sources will make that claim seem like a lie, but it absolutely isn't.

The Final Girl Support Group takes concepts that all horror fans are already well acquainted with - the slow-moving slasher, the virgin who has never done wrong in her life, the logics and reasonings and excuses that are baked deep into the slasher genre - and turn it all on its head in a way that is unique, entertaining, and honestly, moving. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

SUMMARY: "Like his bestselling novel The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Slaying Vampires, Grady Hendrix’s latest is a fast-paced, frightening, and wickedly humorous thriller. From chain saws to summer camp slayers, The Final Girl Support Group pays tribute to and slyly subverts our most popular horror films—movies like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Scream.

Lynnette Tarkington is a real-life final girl who survived a massacre. For more than a decade, she’s been meeting with five other final girls and their therapist in a support group for those who survived the unthinkable, working to put their lives back together. Then one woman misses a meeting, and their worst fears are realized—someone knows about the group and is determined to rip their lives apart again, piece by piece.

But the thing about final girls is that no matter how bad the odds, how dark the night, how sharp the knife, they will never, ever give up."

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Let me preface my review with a disclaimer: anytime that I say Men, as a whole, I do not mean Every Man Ever. There is always a very small fine print implied. Not all men, of course. But enough men to take notice. Enough men to be afraid. With that, enjoy.

This book took me a few days to read. I kept picking it up, getting sucked in, and then needing to put it back down for real life, which led to me forgetting just how gripping the story itself was. But every time that I picked it back up, it didn't take long at all for me to get right back into it.

Lynette's response to her trauma is one that I am uniquely familiar with. I didn't survive a massacre of any kind, but I have faced a Monster in my own right, a man that wanted nothing more than to traumatize women and make his hate known. This made it very easy to follow Lynette; and honestly, even if I didn't have that connection to her, I think the masterful writing will make her relatable to anyone.

Still, following Lynette's growth, from a woman far too scared to get close to anybody to the point that her only friend is a houseplant, to the woman who trusts people when necessary (even if they turn out to be the wrong people), to trusting her Sisters innately, even when one Sister has turned her back on the others, made for a fantastic read.

Trying to review this book is difficult, because the book is, as stated, a great read on its own, but it is also a biting commentary on misogyny and the way that hate spreads like poison. When Skye was first introduced, I absolutely loved him. I thought that he seemed like a great, if unusual, guy, and I really admired Lynette for being able to bring herself to trust in a man, even if it was a man much younger and unfamiliar to her.

To say that I was shocked when Skye was revealed to be part of the Big Bad, though, is an overstatement. Lynette's realization that he had basically given her the answers, that he admitted to having set up his mom's website, that he had essentially spelled everything out for her, was something that I hadn't considered, but also did not find shocking. Men have a tendency towards violence. It is not something engrained in them, it is not some biological or indisputable fact, but it is something that they learn. It is something that is often not discouraged, and is rather excused, if not looked fondly upon. So, to see Skye as the villain was depressing, since I did like him as a character, but it wasn't shocking.

Stephanie's reveal, on the other hand, was shocking. It was also depressing in equal measure. I had grown to love the sisterhood forged between her and Lynette, a sense of bonding and belonging between them as final girls, the type of bond Lynette could have built with her support group had she not been so afraid. To learn, though, that Stephanie had been groomed, was no surprise. Hybristophilia, hyper sexuality, and flocking towards dangerous and frightening men are common responses to severe trauma. Hell, I even have some of those trauma responses myself. Stephanie was the perfect victim for Skye. She was scared, she had been hurt by men before, and she was young. Stephanie falling for Skye was heartbreaking, and to hear her defend him in those final moments at the camp were even more so.

Though it was more of an offhand line than a big plot point, the paragraph regarding Skye's lawyers on TV is one that sticks with me. His lawyers, blaming women, blaming some 'horrible feminist agenda', saying that Skye was pushed into such actions, is exactly how such hatred spreads. That is how it takes root in young minds and that is how it vindicates men who already hold those beliefs. Despite Lynette's best efforts to ensure that there will never again be another Final Girl, Skye has now cemented himself as yet another world-famous Monster, one that will grow a fanbase of his own, who will inspire copycats and who will usher yet another Final Girl into the spotlight. Skye has cemented himself as another Billy Walker, another Christophe Volker, and Stephanie has been left behind in the dust of it all, to become another Chrissy, another Lynette, another Heather. In the end of it all, she is left behind to be a victim, too.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Here's a Tumblr post that I can link to that explains all about my novel Lessons in Magic and Disaster, which comes out August 19.

Lessons is about a young trans woman named Jamie, who is a PhD student in English lit. She's also a witch! Jamie has learned how to go into the abandoned places, where people built stuff that's being reclaimed by nature, and cast spells to make her life better. (Plus other people's lives.)

Jamie decides to teach her mother Serena how to do magic.

(Image: Daderot/Wikipedia).

Serena has been living in an old one-room school house in the middle of nowhere for the past several years — ever since her wife died and a bunch of other bad stuff happened.

Jamie thinks that learning about magic will help her mom to feel powerful and start wanting things again. She wants to help bring her mother back to the world. But there's a lot that Jamie doesn't know about what happened to her mom back in the day, and the baggage that Serena still carries.

The novel has a lot of flashbacks to Serena's past as a lesbian activist in the 1990s and 2000s, including protests against the bombing of a lesbian bar, and other actions. And we see how Serena met her wife, Mae, and how they eventually had a child, Jamie. And how Serena and Mae dealt with raising a trans child in the 2000s and 2010s.

This storyline is so full of joy and coziness and family and love — Serena starts out as kind of a feral queer who is just messing around, but then she falls deeply in love and has to grow up in the process of building a family. Serena goes to law school and becomes an attorney, while Mae does a million jobs, including being a pro domme.

I really loved researching a million things about queer people from the 1990s to the 2010s, and it really drove home how much the struggles we're having today are exactly the same as back then.

There's also a third storyline in the book! Jamie, the main character, is writing her dissertation about 18th century literature. Jamie becomes obsessed with a mysterious novel called Emily which was written by an anonymous woman in 1749.

(Emily is a fictional book that I made up, but all the stuff I include in Lessons in Magic and Disaster about how amazing the women authors of the 1730s and 1740s were is true. They were incredible. I was taught in college that Jane Austen was the first great lady novelist, and that was a lie. I found out so much great stuff researching this book.)

Following the trail of Emily eventually leads Jamie to discover hints about a mysterious scandal that happened in the 1730s. And the scandal involved Charlotte Charke — who was a real person, but I made up the scandal in question. Charlotte Charke was an actor who usually performed in men's clothing, and she also lived as a man offstage. When she couldn't get work on the stage, she did men's jobs, and she married a woman who stayed with her for most of her life. (I'm using "she/her" pronouns for Charlotte because that's what she used when she was alive, but she was very clearly transmasc.)

That's Charlotte in the picture above, wearing a totally fabulous pink outfit — she often played a foppish, overdressed man on stage. And pink was a manly color back then.

Anyway, we start to realize that the same struggle for liberation has been going on for CENTURIES. And also that maybe the author of Emily knew something about magic... something that can help Jamie and her mother in the present.

So that's what the book is about. I ended up doing so much research and even writing a ton of passages from a fake 18th century novel, plus tons of letters from the 18th century. And I had a blast writing all the scenes where Jamie tries to teach Serena how to bend the universe a little. There are parts of this book that still make me laugh, and other parts that still make me cry, when I re-read it.

If that sounds good to you, you can pre-order it anywhere. If you want a signed/personalized/doodled copy, you can pre-order it from Green Apple Books (they ship all over the USA). If you pre-order it — please do, it really helps so much! — then you should definitely submit your receipt so I can send you some extra goodies in August.

Thank you for reading this whole thing! I'm very excited to share this book with you. <3

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

The Handyman Method

Nick Cutter & Andrew F. Sullivn

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯🔥 (3.5/5)

This book was my first real introduction to Nick Cutter's work. I own copies of The Troop and The Deep, but I only ended up reading about a hundred pages into The Troop before getting distracted and not picking up another book for months. This was my first book back after my reading hiatus.

All in all, this was a great book. It was a fun and quick read, and I really enjoyed the story. I can't say with confidence where this fits in Cutter's overal repetoire, but hopefully it won't be long until I can. This book is creative, vividly written, and not terribly graphic at all.

SUMMARY: "When a young family moves into an unfinished development community, cracks begin to emerge in both their new residence and their lives, as a mysterious online DIY instructor delivers dark subliminal suggestions about how to handle any problem around the house. The trials of home improvement, destructive insecurities, and haunted house horror all collide in this thrilling story perfect for fans of Nick Cutter’s bestsellers The Troop and The Deep."

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): It almost pains me to give this book such a lowly review, as I always see Cutter's books hyped up in horror lit and extreme horror lit circles, particularly his penchant for animal cruelty. This book lacks such cruelty towards animals, though there is a few scenes with Morty, Milo's pet turtle, which had me more than a little horrified.

What it lacks in animal-related horror, though, it more than makes up for in creativity. I knew that our friendly Handyman Hank was far from trustworthy, and I also knew Little Boy Blue wasn't going to be the best role model. I wasn't expecting the paranormal aspect, however, nor the folklorish, generational curse that came along with it.

I was expecting this to be a story of online safety, of monitoring your children's internet usage a little more closely and of how even adults can fall into dangerous circles due to the algorithms that we trust and feed so much.

That would have been a fun direction for the story to take, but it also would have been predictable. Cutter's choice of direction makes for an interesting read.

Unfortunately, there is not much else for me to say. I enjoyed the time I spent reading this book, but it was a bit lacklustre for me. The length doesn't do it many favours I think, though I can't really argue on where to improve. I like the vagueness of the monster that is Hank and Little Boy Blue, and the vagueness regarding the deal that Rita's family held with it, I just... wish there was a bit more? It is hard to describe what about this book did and didn't do it for me.

All in all, I think this is worth checking out yourself, if even just to see if you can articulate your feelings towards it better.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

My Best Friend's Exorcism

Grady Hendrix

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯🕯 (4/5)

As I write, it is 4am and I have just finished this book after a cumulative 6 hours, spread very far out over 10 days. Despite the time it took me to get through this book, I absolutely love it. The ending was never clear to me until it had already happened, and no matter how sure I was that I knew where the story was going, I ended up being wrong. This book is a page-turner from start to finish, and had I not been so obsessed with Minecraft when I borrowed it, I definitely would've finished it much sooner. If you are even remotely interested in this book, please read it, if you can handle minor animal death towards the end. It probably isn't what you think it'll be. Also, upon googling this book for the summary and Goodreads link, I've learned it has a movie? Does anyone know if it is any good?

SUMMARY: "Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since fifth grade, when they bonded over a shared love of E.T., roller-skating parties, and scratch-and-sniff stickers. But when they arrive at high school, things change. Gretchen begins to act….different. And as the strange coincidences and bizarre behavior start to pile up, Abby realizes there’s only one possible explanation: Gretchen, her favorite person in the world, has a demon living inside her. And Abby is not about to let anyone or anything come between her and her best friend. With help from some unlikely allies, Abby embarks on a quest to save Gretchen. But is their friendship powerful enough to beat the devil?"

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): There is so, so much I want to talk about with this book. The best place is always the beginning, though, so I'll start there.

I related to Abby heavily in the beginning. I, too, was once an autistic little girl with an obsession over some bizarre pop media and no friends in the deep South. I also threw a birthday party only one person attended, and that person happened to come from a very religious family and she was also a rather odd autistic little girl. The bonds forged between little autistic girls at birthday parties is a special one, and I knew from the jump that Abby and Gretchen would have an enduring friendship. Also, I know neither of them are actually autistic; I don't care. They are in my heart.

When Abby and Gretchen are about to take LSD, I found myself thinking that the drug would be the posession. That she would have a horrible trip, and so would everyone else, but it would fundamentally change Gretchen above all. Apparently, it is a real, supernatural posession.

Now, here is where my review hits a 4 instead of a 5. What the hell was wrong with the LSD? What actually happened to Gretchen in the blockhouse? How did she end up posessed?

It is very possible these questions were answered and I just missed or forgot them, but it is not knowledge I currently possess, so I can't rate the book with this knowledge in mind.

I fully thought that Gretchen would end up being raped in the blockhouse, by Riley or some other freak of nature. I thought that paired with the LSD would lead to her "posession" of sorts. But nobody except Gretchen tripped. If Gretchen even tripped at all?

The details of their drug taking are a little lost on me, but also, it doesn't bother me too much. How she ends up possessed seemingly has little bearing on the story.

Her actions while posessed are what give the story the backbone it needs.

From the moment that she gives Glee that first letter from Father Morgan, I recognized Father Morgan as a 'creep'. It didn't cross my mind once that Gretchen was forging everything. I knew the weight loss shakes would ruin Margaret, but I didn't forsee it being a billion tapeworms. By the time that the Lemon Brothers show up at their school and perform, I've accepted Gretchen's posession as supernatural; I didn't expect one of the Brothers to be the exorcist.

All in all, this book is chock-full of twists and turns. I didn't expect any of them. I even figured Gretchen would back out or snap out of it before killing Good Dog Max.

Also, Abby's chant being all things they care for and love and that are foundational to their friendship was a fantastic move. Abby didn't believe in god, or his love, but she did believe in Gretchen, and their love for each other, and that was strong enough and pure enough to work. That was one of my favourite twists.

Gretchen showing up at Abby's house at the end was my favourite, though. It's tied with Mr. Rivers essentially telling Mr. Lang to drop it and just let them be friends again. My jaw was on the floor when Brother Lemon confessed to save Abby.

Overall, it felt like this book picked and chose what loose ends to tie up, but maybe not all those ends need to be closed. Who the hell knows why Gretchen of all people ended up posessed. What matters is Abby and Gretchen loved each other to the very bittersweet end.

I love you dearly, and I love you queerly, and I love this book. Check it out if you can, and let me know what you think.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

My 2024 Recap

Books Read:

Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt

Such a Pretty Smile by Kristi DeMeester

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke and Other Misfortunes by Eric LaRocca

Dead Silence by S.A. Barnes

Ghost Eaters by Clay McLeod Chapman

The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan

The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan

The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews

Whalefall by Daniel Kraus

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Ghost Station by S.A. Barnes

Survivor Song by Paul Tremblay

Gorgeous Gruesome Faces by Linda Cheng

Incidents Around the House by Josh Malerman

Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix

American Rapture by CJ Leede

TOTAL: 23 (59% of books borrowed)

Books DNF'd

Neon Gods by Katee Robert

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid

Haunted by Chuck Palahnuik

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

The Hunger by Alma Katsu

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

Brainwyrms by Alison Rumfitt

Gerald's Game by Stephen King

Near the Bone by Christina Henry

Maeve Fly by CJ Leede

TOTAL: 16 (41% of books borrowed)

Top Genres:

Horror (52%)

Thriller (21%)

Mythology (21%)

Suspense (17%)

Queer (17%)

Fantasy (13%)

Ratings by Percent:

14 reviews total

5/5: 5 (36%)

4.5/5: 4 (29%)

4/5: 2 (14%)

3.5/5: 2 (14%)

2.5/5: 1 (7%)

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Before I begin my review, I want to issue several huge trigger warnings for: mentions of sexual assault, catholicism, religious guilt and trauma, religious zealots, and animals being in dangerous situations.

American Rapture

CJ Leede

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯 (5/5)

As of writing this, I have just now finished American Rapture. It is my first book by CJ Leedes, and one that I have never seen recommendee anywhere, always overshadowed by Maeve Fly, which is on my TBR next. This book, in my opinion, has earned itself a spot on every bleak/disturbing/horrifying/not-for-the-faint-of-heart horror novel must read list for the next several decades. I went into this completely blind aside from knowing it was about the end of the world, and the protagonist is a young Catholic girl. If you haven't read this book yet, I recommend you put this review down and go read it as blindly as I did. Come back after, and please let's discuss.

SUMMARY: A virus is spreading across America, transforming the infected and making them feral with lust. Sophie, a good Catholic girl, must traverse the hellscape of the midwest to try to find her family while the world around her burns. Along the way she discovers there are far worse fates than dying a virgin.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Throughout my entire read, I found myself thinking of ways to open up my review about this book, searching for anything that would encapsulate the experience that reading it was. Nothing felt quite satisfactory; this book is so much more than I could ever possibly articulate.

I come from a background of Christian zelots myself. My grandmother is Catholic in all but name; she refuses to worship or acknowledge the Virgin Mary the way Catholics do, but every other belief of theirs is one she has. Sophie's deep, internalized guilt that follows her through a majority of the book is one I am all too familiar with, and it is a fantastic story of outgrowing and leaving behind the cultlike beliefs of the Catholic church.

The way that her beliefs colours her experience of the apocalypse is a unique one that I haven't ever seen before, and this book had me in a chokehold from start to finish. It did take me roughly a week to finish, though, because I had to take frequent breaks for my own health.

This novel is a nonstop rollercoaster of the worst, most bleak moments possible (Wyatt, with his throat cut open by "God's righteous soldiers", Barghest, burning to death to defend the owner he has known so little yet loves so much) with the most hopeful (Maro, finding a young girl alone in an apocalypse and helping her so much further than he was expected to, Sophie, finding Noah's origami crane and later realizing where he is). I always knew when something bad happened that something good was coming up next, but this also worked the other way around. The scene of Helen, Ben, and Sophie all watching Romeo and Juliet in the House on the Rock comes to mind. I had to take a break when it began mentioning Helen being asleep; I knew things were going to pick up again.

Wyatt's screams were a good red herring for that situation, to have us think it was a nightmare for it to later come out Helen is infected. The imagery evoked of Helen chasing Sophie through the world's most frightening and disorienting funhouse was fantastic, too.

The brutality portrayed by the Crusaders is a brutality I think most people are familiar with these days. It isn't always Catholics, but isn't it funny how it's always rooted in Christianity in some way, their hate? If my grandmother wasn't well into her seventies, I think she would be a Crusader in this situation, too.

And what a self-rightous, dick-sucking name to give yourself, too. Crusaders. What a cult.

Anyways, my review is very obviously coloured by my own religious trauma, but I do absolutely love American Rapture. It's top of my list to be bought now, and Maeve Fly is on my TBR, right next to American Gods, which my friend has been asking me to read.

Overall, if you still haven't read the book and want to now, after I've spoiled everything for you, it's still worth a read. Just be aware, it is a very, very heavy read.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Incidents Around The House

Josh Malerman

RATING: 🕯🕯🕯🕯🔥 (4.5/5)

It has been almost two months between me finishing this book and me finally getting around to writing my review of it. In that time, however, I have found myself thinking about it over and over again, horrified and impressed with the writing and imagery it invokes.

Other Mommy is a positively terrifying horror villain, and the way this story is portrayed exclusively through the eyes of a child who seems to have a harmless, if not remarkably creepy, imaginary friend is fantastic.

SUMMARY: To eight-year-old Bela, her family is her world. There’s Mommy, Daddo, and Grandma Ruth. But there is also Other Mommy, a malevolent entity who asks her every day: “Can I go inside your heart?”  

 

When horrifying incidents around the house signal that Other Mommy is growing tired of asking Bela the same question, over and over . . . Bela understands that unless she says yes, soon her family must pay. 

 

Other Mommy is getting restless, stronger, bolder. Only the bonds of family can keep Bela safe but other incidents show cracks in her parents' marriage. The safety Bela relies on is on the brink of unraveling.  

 

But Other Mommy needs an answer. 

 

Incidents Around the House is a chilling, wholly unique tale of true horror told by the child Bela. A story about a family as haunted as their home.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Okay, I need to talk about that bathroom scene. I know there is an entire book around it (an entire, fantastic book!) but that bathroom scene is, quite frankly, one of the most chilling scenes I have read in any book ever. Even thinking about it now makes me nauseous.

The way that the reveal creeps up on you gets me so bad. Bela, sitting on the toilet, after having braved the hallway all by herself. It's dark outside the hallway, but not in the bathroom. The bathroom is well-lit, and it's safe. The toilet is cold, but her legs are warming it up. And the hair on her legs is a little itchy, but that's nothing to wake anybody up over. And her legs are hairy, and itchy, and the hair is really dark, and she is on Other Mommy's lap.

Like, that's terrifying!! Even now, at my big grown age of 22, sitting in my room in the dark, writing up a review about a novel I read two months ago, I had to turn on my phone's flashlight to light my room up while I write. Other Mommy has positively scarred me, I fear.

Enough about the bathroom scene, though. I want to talk about the novel as a whole, and especially about Bela and how much children really do see.

The way that her mother's affair is hinted at, repeatedly, by Bela innocently observing her actions and the things that she says, the way that Bela feels responsible for her parent's relationship and how aware she is that if Daddo knew about the affair it would hurt him, was all fantastic. It's a great contrast to her reactions towards Other Mommy; this absolutely awful horror of a creature is living in her fucking closet and asking to 'live in her heart', and Bela is uncomfortable by this, but not terrified the way adult readers (and her parents!) are, because this is normal to her. Her mom's affair is normal to her, even if she knows it would hurt Daddo. Having a bizarre creature who talks to you about 'carnation' is normal.

I feel like Bela's portrayal in this novel is amazing. I don't really ever read horror novels with young protagonists (this may be my second, after The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon), but I absolutely love Incidents Around the House. From what I've seen from other reviews, it can be a rather hit or miss novel, but it's definitely one I want to revisit eventually.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Horrorstör

Grady Hendrix

Rating: 🕯🕯🕯🕯 (4/5)

This book is one that I see recommended everywhere when I look for horror recomendations. In every review, there is always some line like "you wouldn't think a book about a haunted IKEA could be so scary, but Horrorstör will prove you wrong". After a small reading hiatus, I decided this would be an easy return to my favourite hobby at only 360 total pages. I was right about it being a quick read, but I really should've heeded the previous warnings. This book picks up its story immediately and literally does not stop - not even at the end.

SUMMARY: Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking.

To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Like I had mentioned in my blurb above, Horrorstör is one of the most recommended books I've seen. It's never been on my reading list and I didn't think it would be much up my alley; but after reading it, I'm so glad I did.

From the very beginning, this book had me hooked. I went in blind, so the opening chapter had me thinking this may be a zombie novel. I was really curious what a zombie IKEA would look like. This book is not a zombie IKEA, though. At least, not how I was expecting.

A few scenes in particular that stick out to me are the opening scene, as well as the scene where Orsk corporate essentially says "well, it isn't our fault that Matt and Trinity died. Come work for us as a higher-up and keep your mouth shut and all your problems are solved."

I love a horror book that's a metaphor. I wouldn't necessarily say Horrorstör qualifies as a metaphor - it feels pretty overt in its messaging (which is not a bad thing!). Capitalism, corporate greed, a sheer disregard for human life, are all themes that are up front and personal with you throughout your read. It's just also through a thin veil of a haunted IKEA - which makes it easy to forget the commentary.

Unfortunately, despite Horrorstör being such a quick and fun read for me, I don't find myself with many thoughts. I finished the book and closed it, satisfied and without too many lingering questions. The scenes of Amy's fingernail being ripped off (and her subsequently using that finger to ground herself) and the scenes of the store flooding, specifically her trying to break the glass with a fire hydrant, are the scenes that I find myself thinking back on. The imagery this book invokes does not disappoint.

My only real issue with the book was the constant use of 'said'. It gets so repetitive that it can become hard to read when every line of dialogue is four words long followed by "she said" "he said" "Basil said" "Matt said" etc. Which is why I had to knock off a point - it made getting through the story a little bit difficult at times, but it was a fun read regardless.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

I cannot believe I somehow missed this reply to my review, but thank you so much for your reply! I'm really glad to have someone stop by and contribute to such a dialogue. I'm also a survivor of SA and I think, had the trigger warning not been included, I wouldn't have been able to properly prepare myself for such scenes and would have ended up DNF'ing it.

In more exciting news, my local Barnes & Nobles did have a copy of this book for only 17$ USD so I now own my own physical copy! I'm already planning a reread.

Thank you so much again for taking the time to reply to my review. Reading your opinions and perspective was a fantastic opportunity and valuable beyond belief. Much love! 💙

Tell Me I'm Worthless

Alison Rumfitt

RATING: 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯 (5/5)

There are certainly nuances to this book that I, as a white, not-Jewish American, cannot pick up on. I will not comment definitively on things I do not understand. However, as a trans guy with a complex relationship to gender and sexuality, and a deep, deep love of horror, I love this book for all that it's worth - which is more than I can grasp.

Summary: Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice’s life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep.

Memories of that night torment Alice, but when Ila asks her to return to the House, to go past the KEEP OUT sign and over the sick earth where teenagers dare each other to venture, Alice knows she must go.

Together, Alice and Ila must face the horrors that happened there, must pull themselves apart from the inside out, put their differences aside, and try to rescue Hannah, whom the House has chosen to make its own.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING):

Tell Me I'm Worthless is an incredible book with incredible prose and layers upon layers of meaning. It speaks to capitalism, antisemitism, racism, transphobia, sexual assault, mental health, and so much more.

It is a book that I can see myself coming back to again and again, each time allowing me to peel back another layer of the story, another layer of the symbolism. It speaks to so many things and, in my opinion, its voice is full, and bold, and unwavering.

It does not let up. Tell Me I'm Worthless is full to the brim of gritty, gory detailing, extremely vivid descriptions that serve it rather than detract from it.

This book seemingly exposes the very foundations of Great Britain through the symbolism of the House, through the graffiti in its walls, through the way it utilises Hannah - the blonde, blue-eyed, cisgender, straight white woman, to form a Swastika. The quotes occasionally placed rather meticulously at the ends of chapters to really drive the points home.

The flowery, poetic language throughout the book, with crass, bold, and somewhat repulsive language sprinkled throughout, is, in my opinion, a positively amazing method of conveying the story.

All in all, Tell Me I'm Worthless is an amazing, hard hitting read. It is not for the faint of heart by any means, and deals with extremely heavy topics in a brash, concise manner coated among flowery language. If you feel you can stomach the themes handled within, I heavily recommend this book.

I will certainly be trying to get my hands on a physical copy sometime soon.

ENDING THOUGHTS (that I couldn't work into the above review):

The fact that this book begins with a trigger warning is something I have never seen before but that I deeply hope to see again. It was amazing.

Also, to see myself represented, in a way, in Harry, was an absolutely tear jerking experience. I don't see much trans guy representation myself and it was frankly amazing.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Started reading a book! I struggle to read because of mental health, but if I push myself I always enjoy it. So, hubby chose a special interest book last night at random for me, and I actually managed to start it!

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Gorgeous Gruesome Faces

Linda Cheng

RATING: 🕯🕯🔥 (2.5/5)

This book, being all of 400 pages, took me nearly a week to get through. It is not my cup of tea. I acknowledge, however, that the level of not-my-cup-of-teaness that it is has clouded my ability to judge how well-written everything is. If the synopsis sounds fun to you, then I do fully encourage you to check this book out. It is just not my personal style.

SUMMARY: After a shocking scandal that abruptly ended her teen popstar career, eighteen-year-old Sunny Lee spends her days longing for her former life and cyberstalking her ex-BFF and groupmate, Candie. The two were once inseparable, but that was then—before the tragedy and heartache they left in their wake.

In the here and now, Sunny is surprised to discover that Candie is attending a new K-pop workshop in her hometown. Candie might be there chasing stardom, but Sunny can’t resist the chance to join her and finally confront their traumatic history. Because she still can’t figure out what happened that horrible night when Mina, the third in their tight-knit trio, jumped to her death. Or if the dark and otherworldly secrets she and Candie were keeping had something to do with it . . .

But the workshop doesn’t bring the answers Sunny had hoped for, nor a happy reunion with Candie. Instead, Sunny finds herself haunted by ghostly visions while strange injuries start happening to her competitors—followed by even stranger mutilations to their bodies. In her race to survive, Sunny will have to expose just who is behind the carnage—and if Candie is out for blood once more—in Linda Cheng’s spellbinding sapphic thriller that will have readers screaming and swooning for more.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): I wanted so badly to like this book. I'm not usually one for paranormal horror, but I was very interested in the premise and decided to check it out. I nearly DNF'd it several times, and it had sat at 94% completion for the past 3 days until I finally forced myself to finish it today for the sake of this review.

The development of Candie and Sunny's relationship is not one that I liked very much. I was super excited for more queer horror - but the queerness isn't very... involved in the story, I suppose? It's horror with queer characters, but it doesn't seem like queer horror to me I suppose.

I wasn't aware that this was part of a series (or intended to be) when I chose it, and based off of the ending, I see where the author has set up for a series, but I will not be checking it out. Given how much I disliked the way the workshop was written, I don't think I'd fair very well with the two of them on a roadtrip.

I can't really explain it, but this book just felt so flat and bland to me. It had all the makings of a story that I'd love, in a subgenre I don't check out very often, but everything just fell short for me. I probably couldn't even explain to you what happened at the workshop except for the end where it was revealed to be a cult, and I was going to list off one of the severe student injuries here but I can't recall any of them with any level of certainty.

All in all, getting through this book felt like a chore. I only got so far in originally because I thought that it just had a slow start - I've read books that I ended up loving that started slow and I had to force myself through until things got good - if my memory serves, namely The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay. Unfortunately, this was not one such situation.

I hope that someone else can find this book and love it much more than I could.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Survivor Song

Paul Tremblay

RATING: 🕯🕯🕯🕯 (4/5)

Yet again, I've read a book by an author I'm previously (but vaguely) familiar with and am here to review it. Paul Tremblay's name is one that comes up frequently when asking for horror novel suggestions, and for good reason. Survivor Song was a mere 300ish pages, allowing me to tear through it in 6 and a half hours. Following Ramola and Natalie's journey was heart-and-gutwrenching, and worth every single second.

SUMMARY: In a matter of weeks, Massachusetts has been overrun by an insidious rabies-like virus that is spread by saliva. But unlike rabies, the disease has a terrifyingly short incubation period of an hour or less. Those infected quickly lose their minds and are driven to bite and infect as many others as they can before they inevitably succumb. Hospitals are inundated with the sick and dying, and hysteria has taken hold. To try to limit its spread, the commonwealth is under quarantine and curfew. But society is breaking down and the government's emergency protocols are faltering.

Dr. Ramola "Rams" Sherman, a soft-spoken pediatrician in her mid-thirties, receives a frantic phone call from Natalie, a friend who is eight months pregnant. Natalie's husband has been killed—viciously attacked by an infected neighbor—and in a failed attempt to save him, Natalie, too, was bitten. Natalie's only chance of survival is to get to a hospital as quickly as possible to receive a rabies vaccine. The clock is ticking for her and for her unborn child.

Natalie’s fight for life becomes a desperate odyssey as she and Rams make their way through a hostile landscape filled with dangers beyond their worst nightmares—terrifying, strange, and sometimes deadly challenges that push them to the brink.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Survivor Song is a book about rabies. I am terrified of rabies. I knew, logically, what I was getting into when I borrowed the book. Animals, and their deaths, does not bother me. The actualization of the effects of rabies on animals does. Tremblay portrays the few animals mentioned in such a way that the imagery stuck with me throughout my entire read and will probably stay with me even beyond that.

That is the most immediate thing in my mind about this book, but I have a feeling the entire story will have impacted me more than I can realize yet.

This book had me by the throat instantly. From the first few scenes, there is an inescapable sense of unease building. That unease very quickly morphs into absolute terror as Natalie and Paul's home is broken into, invaded, by an infected man with no intentions other than harm. The struggle between the three of them had me holding my breath from start to finish. I knew that Natalie had to survive, but I wasn't sure on what Paul's fate would be. I knew he would be bitten, but I did not expect him to have his neck snapped in the process.

The choice to start with Natalie and then switch to Ramola, and primarily follow Ramola's point of view was an interesting one. Using Natalie's Voyager logs to track her own descent was also interesting, and neither in a negative way. Natalie's first few entries were heartbreaking, and watching her descend into madness from two different viewpoints was done masterfully.

There are a few moments in the story where the narrator interjects, provides us with information that none of the characters yet know and that only one will eventually find out. These moments are used incredibly sparingly, and they add absolutely perfectly to the general unease and sadness of the situation. The acknowledgement that in a mere matter of weeks, Dr. Awolesi will be proven correct, and the virus will kill itself off, was heartbreaking, put expertly in between the story of Josh and Luis.

Speaking of Josh and Luis, their inclusion in the story is one of my favorite parts. There remains a lot of mystery to them, which is intentional (as noted by the narrator, saying we know enough but never will), and knowing how young they are makes both of their deaths all the more horrible.

The scenes of Luis and Josh following one another through the woods, to some point none of us can know about, to some point they never get to reach, made me cry. I read some of it before bed and had to put down my phone for sleep, and the rest of it at work the following morning before my shift. Both times I had tears in my eyes. Luis and Josh's story coming to an end in the woods, so close to the end, was one that I expected, but one that hit incredibly hard nonetheless.

The end of Natalie's story was another one that was expected, but that didn't hit me quite so hard.

I found Natalie to be... hard to sympathize with. That, however, is my own problem, and not a fault of the story. Natalie's humor isn't my own style, and I've also never been pregnant and am generally detached from the concept, so her fear for her unborn child isn't one that I could find myself within. I did, however, find myself in her battling with her decision to be chosen above said unborn child if it came down to it.

The end of Natalie's story, in which Ramola is forced to perform a C-section in an empty farmhouse on her dying best friend, is written fantastically. The epilogue, of Lily, in England, years later and long detached from the epidemic overseas, is an inclusion that I am ambivalent towards. I didn't like it, not necessarily, but I certainly didn't hate it. I would've personally enjoyed the story more had it just ended with Ramola delivering the baby, but that's just me.

Overall, Survivor Song is a fantastic story that I loved reading and I would certainly recommend. It is a fantastic apocalypse story in its own right, and an even better commentary on the general state of the American public.

[ill-try-to-do-book-reviews]

Ghost Station

S.A Barnes

RATING: 🕯🕯🕯🔥 (3.5/5)

Having read Dead Silence first, more than a few months ago, I was very excited to find out that S.A Barnes had another novel, and that it was available for me to read through my Libby app. In the time between the two, I had noticed online that many, many people did not like Dead Silence nearly as much as I did, nor did I ever see any mention of Ghost Station. In reading the latter, the parallels between the two are very apparent, lending to S.A Barnes' unique style and stories. Still, the complaints I saw listed regarding Dead Silence seem, to me, to be more applicable here. Regardless of its issues, though, this was still a gripping, 12 hour read.

SUMMARY: Space exploration can be lonely and isolating.

Psychologist Dr. Ophelia Bray has dedicated her life to the study and prevention of ERS—a space-based condition most famous for a case that resulted in the brutal murders of twenty-nine people. When she's assigned to a small exploration crew, she's eager to make a difference. But as they begin to establish residency on an abandoned planet, it becomes clear that crew is hiding something.

While Ophelia focuses on her new role, her crewmates are far more interested in investigating the eerie, ancient planet and unraveling the mystery behind the previous colonizer's hasty departure than opening up to her.

That is, until their pilot is discovered gruesomely murdered. Is this Ophelia’s worst nightmare starting—a wave of violence and mental deterioration from ERS? Or is it something more sinister?

Terrified that history will repeat itself, Ophelia and the crew must work together to figure out what’s happening. But trust is hard to come by… and the crew isn’t the only one keeping secrets.

MY DETAILED REVIEW (SPOILER WARNING): Going into this with my prior love of Dead Silence was, I think, setting myself and this book up for a bit of failure. It feels unfair to compare the two so often, but it's a hard thing to avoid during your read through. The two stories hold many similarities: the MC's life will be ruined, over with, or otherwise negatively affected in some relation to the trip they're on, the MC has a dark and tragic past they are keeping from their crew, there is an overt emphasis on capitalism and the ultra-wealthy benefitting no-one, how space as the final frontier leads to the ultimate corporate greed. It isn't that I find any of these messages bad, or annoying, or even that I disliked their inclusion in this story. It's just that, with so many clear parallels to draw between the two, I was hoping for something that pulled together the way Dead Silence did. In the end, I was just left with a lot of questions.

As its own story, Ghost Station is not a bad one. I've rated it as a standalone, careful to not let my love of Dead Silence influence my review here. That said, from here on in, anything said about this book will be strictly based on the materials within, and my own experience reading it.

It didn't take me long to find myself immersed in the world within this story. Ophelia Bray is a fantastic protagonist, though a bit annoying at times. The mystery set up within is great, but it is not executed quite as well as it could have been, in my opinion. Having read the book over the course of two days, following in my usual practice of finishing and then immediately reviewing so that I don't lose any important thoughts, I am left questioning what the hell was going on with the towers. It's clear they're some sort of alien lifeform, or technology, but why do they want to feed on the memories and experiences of its victims? It's a hivemind of some sort it seems, but even that isn't something I can be sure on. What exactly is ERS? It seems like a big set up in the beginning, but halfway through, it just seems to be dropped completely and never really mentioned again, at least not with any substance.

Who did Ophelia see outside the window while they were searching for Birch? Or what? Her hallucinations shouldn't have begun so early, if her (very briefly mentioned) theory regarding the order they took off their suits is to be believed. Why was that never brought up beyond the initial incident and her recounting it to herself once or twice? Was what happened with her father ERS, or a result of the towers, somehow?

Did Birch also survive the Goliath incident? This may have been explained at some point, just not very plainly, and I have overlooked it, but still, I am left wondering.

On the better side of the writing, Ophelia's father's portrayal felt very realistic, and reminiscent of my own father. Her struggles with her desire to not become any of her family and her inability to trust even herself felt very familiar as well. There were times during my reading where I found myself imagining my own father in place of Ophelia's, though that may speak more to my own need for therapy than anything else.

In all, I just find myself very confused and a bit dissatisfied with Ghost Station. Despite being a very fun and interesting read, I find it doesn't quite hold up well to scrutiny after the fact, nor does trying to piece it together during your read through work very well.

I will say though, in my hunt for a Goodreads link to put here, I found a Reddit thread showing that S.A Barnes was in the process of another space horror novel titled Cold Eternity, which actually may be out now by the time I'm posting this. Despite the lack of love I hold for Ghost Station, I still find myself excited by the prospect of a new space horror novel from S.A Barnes, and I am holding out hope that Cold Eternity will be another great one.

Though Ghost Station may not have been to my tastes, if it seems like something that you would like to read, I do encourage you to check it out. I saw mixed reviews online towards it, with some positive (which is more than I can say for Dead Silence), and also one particularly negative and honestly rude review on Goodreads. That review was brutal. Don't let that put you off, though, if you can help it. It's not what I was looking for, but it may be right up your alley!