illoustriousdreamer

[illoustriousdreamer]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Reblogging to check it out

dam…….. that website “you feel like shit” (it’s like a questionnaire / troubleshooting guide for when you feel like shit) really works………………….. im not even all the way thru it and i even half-assed a lot of the suggestions and i already feel loads better

[illoustriousdreamer]

Hotch, organising the next course of action about an unsub: And that concludes the plan. Rossi, you're up!

Rossi: Alright, time to see if you little shits were paying attention. *Kahoot music starts to play*

[illoustriousdreamer]

Stepmoms are lite

Percy: I'm not the stepmom Percy, puts on shades: I'm the mom that stepped up. Will, facepalm: You're never gonna stop, are you?

[illoustriousdreamer]

Perse: I love you.

Apollo: How many people have you said that to?

Perse: Everyone.

Apollo: What?

Perse: I told everyone that I love you.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Arsinoë , teaching Perse to drive: Okay, you're driving and Apollo and Hermes walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Perse : Oh, definitely Hermes. I could never hurt Apollo. Arsinoë , massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

[illoustriousdreamer]

The Sultan's two greatest treasures

Hatice: You only care about Hürrem!

Suleyman: That’s not true

Suleyman: I also care about Mihrimah

[illoustriousdreamer]

Hurrem @ Suleyman: My love for you is like this scar. Ugly, but permanent.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Farya: I just need you to stay calm, okay?

Murad: Yeah, I’m just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Hürrem Sultan: Everyone keeps underestimating me. I was not always a sultana. I know how to get my hands dirty.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Hatice [after finding out that Ibrahim cheated on her]: You know...I blame Nigar Kalfa for all this. And Hurrem too, I blame her.

Hurrem: What did I do?

Hatice: I'm sure you did something.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Valide Hafsa: How are you feeling?

Mahidevran: I’ve been experiencing a headache lately that seems to come and go, actually

*Hurrem and Suleyman walk in holding hands*

Mahidevran: Oh look, it’s back

[illoustriousdreamer]

Valide Sultan: Suleyman, you’re not going to actually marry Hurrem, are you?

Suleyman: Not to worry, I have a permit.

Valide Sultan: This just says “I can do what I want”.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Kidnapper: We have her

Suleyman: Have who?

Kidnapper: Hurrem Sultan.

Suleyman: ...oh.

Kidnapper: Oh?

Suleyman: You don't have her. She has you. Good luck.

[illoustriousdreamer]

incorrect bensler quotes → 4/∞

[illoustriousdreamer]

Olivia: Stop doing that.

Elliot: Stop doing what?

Olivia: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

[illoustriousdreamer]

Percy: Dad?

Poseidon: Yes?

Percy: Is there any particular reason for you...coming around more often...?

Poseidon: ...I've noticed that you've begun to attract the attention of a few different deities...

Percy: What...? No! Ew, dad no! We're just friends, none of them are interested in me like that!

Poseidon: (•—•)...

Poseidon: Of course they aren't son *sips his coffee*...

•Meanwhile•

Nymphs, Minor & Major Gods: *Have all been courting Percy with no results*

Apollo: ...*Holds up some ropes*

Hermes: Put those away man, we aren't doing that!

Apollo: Dude I'm just saying—!