iloveaustinbutlerlol - Tumblr blog

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

omg i’m sorry, i’ve been terrible at posting. the unmistake will be back soon!!

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Ten

(Wow tenth part, also i cant lie i was bored of them not being together. This is in Austin's POV i plan for every five to be in his, probably. But that will probably change just like everything else about this. Also sorry for the lazy time skips!! xx)

Two months later – Austin’s point of view

Over the last two months I had barely seen Lottie, Baz had me flying all over the place for filming. In some ways I was grateful, after the whole ordeal that was New Year’s. I was so sure I’d read her right. That there was something more between us. That she felt it too. How could I have been so wrong? All things considered, it could have been a lot worse, but still things shifted. I hadn’t been at home for more than a week and while I had to miss out on a lot of baby stuff, the space was needed. I say ‘home’ but in reality I mean Lottie’s flat; with me being so busy we still hadn’t found another flat. Was it bad to say that I didn’t really want to anymore? Or maybe that I never did?

So when Baz closed production down for a week – he was incredibly sick and so were loads of the crew- I tried to not pout when Lottie suggested we finally took the time to look for a flat. I glanced to her, her bump now noticeable with no way of hiding it, and she looked tired. I couldn’t tell her no. I was a nuisance to her and refused to be any more so. “Okay why don’t you choose three to go view, and I choose three. Then we can talk about it after.” she said. I readily agreed and booked a couple of viewings.

~~~

The first was one Lottie picked, and it was fair to say the pictures had not been of the same place. It was dark and claustrophobic but had three bedrooms. Lottie tried to convince me it was great considering the price for the area, but I couldn’t bring myself to agree. The others she picked seemed to follow the same layout, a good price, three bedrooms, but utterly horrible. As we sat down to dinner that night, she looked a bit defeated. “Aw Lottie, come on. We couldn’t live there, it needed so much work done on it and the building seemed dodgy.” She pushed her takeaway noodles around her plate. The one viewing we had that day of a flat I had picked out, she refused before we even walked into the building, saying it was “too fucking posh Aus”.  I sighed quietly. “And I told you, money is no issue, I’ll just buy whatever you want outright-““Austin!” her fork clattered on her plate. “What?” I asked in attempted nonchalance. “You’re not doing that.” I sighed again. “I know.” I said quietly. She sniffed loudly. “Aus?” I met her gaze. “Do we have to move?” She rubbed her bump gently, “I mean, I love my flat and I really don’t care about sharing a bed. Do you?” I tried not to shake my head too quickly. “So this seems like a whole lot of hassle for nothing, don’t you think? I can fit a crib in our bedroom and it’s not like even if we had a nursery the baby would sleep without us for the first couple of months.” I nodded slowly, “Yes! That’s very true. Completely fine by me, let’s just stay here for the time being.”

 Whatever God there was must have been shining down on me, she wanted to stay in her flat! I thought she might of wanted to. When we went to bed that night, Lottie fell asleep before me while I was scrolling through some emails on my phone. She sighed deeply in her sleep, and rolled closer to me. My eyebrows raised slightly. She did this again so she was snuggled into my side. I almost stopped breathing, just looking down at her peaceful face. It felt like my heart was pulling out of my body. We hadn’t even slightly snuggled in bed for months. So if this was my one opportunity for the next few months, I was going to take it. I shuffled carefully to lay down and put a gentle hand in Lottie’s soft brown hair. The feeling that overtook me is difficult to explain, I wanted to enjoy our closeness but it was tainted by her rejection. I took my hand slowly out of her hair and closed my eyes.

~~~

When I woke up the next morning, Lottie was upon my chest, fist clenched around the fabric of my tshirt, deeply asleep. I observed her with a gentle smile and relished the moment for a short while before dragging myself away to the kitchen. There was so many things I wanted to say to her but I had to just let her live. I stumbled out to the kitchen, with the intent of making her a banging breakfast, when she loudly called my name from the bedroom. “Austin!” I must have woke her. My head shot around and she came hurriedly out of the bedroom. “Lottie? What’s wrong?” She dismissed me with her hand. “Oh nothing, nothing’s wrong.” She was slightly breathless. “Are you sure?” I questioned. “Oh I’m sure. But Austin there’s something I want to say-“ her voice trailed off quickly. She came towards me, so we stood face to face and took my arm. I looked down to her. “It’s just about New Year’s.” I felt my cheeks flame. “Yeah- I’m really sorry about th-“ She cut in, “No, no stop being silly. Let me just explain.” She rushed over her words, and I frowned in confusion. “I just- I just wanted to let you know, like, that I didn’t- well I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean to Austin. I didn’t mean it.” She didn’t mean it? Mean to reject me? “And I’ve been meaning to say for ages now but the timings always off or you’re not here off on some work do and you know it was just a bit tricky. And I understand if you don’t still feel the same as you did then but I just-“ My smile grew the whole time. I knew it. I hadn’t been wrong. So why had she swerved me? Oh who gives two, I thought.

Then I kissed her. I was literally shaking. Shaking as I kissed Lottie Green in the living room of her flat while she was months pregnant with our baby. And the best part about it was she kissed me back, and certainly not half-heartedly. When she pulled back, I couldn’t contain my smiling, as I looked her she blushed modestly. I had never felt something so deep with anyone, and I must have been looking at her like she’d hung the moon and stars in the sky, because in my eyes, she really had. All the confusion and frustration, overcome with one rambling speech. I felt like a giddy fucking teenager who had just found out their crush liked them back. I kissed her excitedly again, and when she kissed me back again I think my heart had palpitations. She giggled into the kiss, “Aus.” “Lottie.” She smiled brightly. I picked her up and took her back to the bedroom. Women could have sex while pregnant right?

~~~

That day had to have been one of the best of my life. We went til we couldn’t go anymore and laughed and kissed inbetween. Really like a pair of teenagers. When we finally went back out to the kitchen about midday, absolutely starving, I made carbonara and we ate two tons of pasta. I kissed Lottie as many times as I could while cooking and tried to push the nagging thought of what this now made us. Having a baby together? Living together? But only kissing properly for the first time a few hours ago? Everything was backwards but in that moment, I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to care for her and our coming child. “We should throw a gender reveal party.” I said. “I thought we were just waiting til the baby was born.” Lottie replied. “Well ultimately its up to you, but I don’t want to wait any longer to know. Do you?” Lottie laughed and my heart raced. “No I guess I don’t.” I positively beamed. “So it’s a deal? You want to do it?” “Yes I’m up for it, but only if you plan it all. I’m trying to finish up some projects at work before my maternity leave.” “You should just quit.” I said plainly. “Austin!” she scolded. “What? I remember the conversation we had in the café a few months ago. You said your job was boring and you didn’t really like it.” Lottie made a small noise of disagreement, but only that so I continued. “You’re more than five months pregnant, surely you don’t want to be trailing into London everyday on the godforsaken tube, probably getting pushed and pulled about in ways I cant bear to think of, to go to a job you aren’t really passionate about.” Lottie’s silence showed agreement. “Just do it, babe. I’ve got it.” She looked at me intently. “I’ve got everything.” A beat. “Maybe I’ll consider not going back after maternity leave.” She said. I tried to hide my smile in my carbonara. “I said maybe,” she scolded half-heartedly. “Yeah, maybe.” I teased.  

(Previous part: https://at.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/the-unmistake-part-nine/85ro8xxu2qgl)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Nine

(Ummmm lets not talk about how bad I am being with writing at the moment. Super busy. This short, but a little is better than none.)

Austin didn’t say a word to me while we waited outside in the cold for the cab, nor while it drove us home. He tapped his fingers impatiently on his leg. When we pulled up to my building, he jumped out and walked purposefully away from me. By the time I had reached the lift I could see Austin was already halfway up the building. I took the stairs. Very poor choice by me as I seemed to have forgotten my party heels. Two flights in my heel got caught on the lip of a stair and my ankle gave way with a sickening click. I fell forward, the on-coming stairs coming closer and I  completely winded myself. I turned myself around and sat on the step taking off my god forsaken schools. As I rubbed my stomach to ease the air back through a thought occurred to me and sent my eyes streaming. I stood quickly on my ankle and cursed the pain it caused me. I took myself up the rest of the stairs as quickly as I could manage, positively wailing. I pounded on my front door, which Austin hadn’t thought to have left open for me.

“Austin,” I sobbed, “Please let me in. Something’s happened, please-“ The door was flung open. Austin’s eyes were much more alert than they had been ten minutes ago. “Lottie?! What is it, what’s wrong.” I was choking on my own sobs and couldn’t get a word out. “Shhhhh. Sit down, come on now.” I limped over to the sofa and took a deep breathe before rushing out. “I twisted my ankle on the stairs because of my STUPID BLOODY SHOES and I fell forward onto the stairs and for a second I didn’t even think about it I was just cursing my stupid shoes and then I thought the baby what about the fucking baby and now it might be hurt or even worse and now I’ve hurt my baby before it’s even come out of me and I’m a terrible fucking mother-“

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD.” Austin shouted. I flinched. I opened my mouth to start talking but Austin continued. “Where does it hurt? Tell me if it hurts.” He gently pressed my stomach. “Lottie where does it hurt?” I shook my head slowly. “It doesn’t hurt.” “It doesn’t?” I shook my head once more. He was breathing quickly and his face was pale. He took a step back and used both hands to push his hair back. “Are you sure?” I nodded. I was calming now, thinking about it more clearly, I hadn’t hit the stairs, I’d caught myself before I’d done so, I was just in pain from my ankle. The shock had winded me, and I’d lowered myself onto the steps. Austin sucked out some breaths, but his face was getting paler. He was mumbling to himself. “Aus?” I said. I was ignored. He paced the length of the room. “Aus?” He ignored me still. I hobbled over to him as he passed the tv and caught his arm. “Austin?” He was still muttering breathlessly. I said his name yet again and he finally look to me. His eyes were wild. “Can’t breathe.” He strained. My eyes widened quickly.

I dragged him over to the sofa and sat him down as best as I could while I was limping. I crouched in front of him and looked him closely in the eye. His chest was heaving. “Austin? I need you to listen to me now alright? It’s okay, I’m fine, the baby is fine. But you’ve got to breathe babe, okay?” He was looking at me but his breaths were still strained. I pulled apart his clenched fist and linked his hand with mine. “You’re just panicking. You’ve had quite a bit to drink, but you need to listen to me now.” I squeezed his hand gently. “Breathe with me. Come on. Breathe with me.” I animatedly took in a breath and waited for him to copy. I then slowly let it out. I did this again, and again, and again. After a few minutes Austin gulped and sat back on the sofa. I still held his clammy hand. “I just freaked out a bit didn’t I.” “Just a bit.” I confirmed. He pulled me to sit next to him and turned his head to look at me. “I’m sorry.” He admitted. I quickly shook my head. “I should be the one apologizing, my freak out made you freak out.” “Yeah but it was me being a dickhead that made you twist you ankle in the first place.” “Austin, stop it. It’s okay. I’m okay. Are you okay?” He nodded slowly. “Well, that’s that then. I think we’re both just a bit on edge after everything that happened earli…” My words trailed off quickly. I ducked my head and hobbled over towards the freezer; my ankle needed and icepack. I could feel Austin following behind me. His hand reached out to grab my shoulder and he turned me around to face him. “Lottie, sit down. Let me get it.” He said breathily. I nodded and went back to the sofa.

Austin rustled about in the freezer for a moment before returning with an ice pack, some water and some ibuprofen. I took the painkillers gratefully. When Austin held the ice to my ankle I inhaled sharply. “Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s alright.” He closed his eyes and shook his head smally. “No, it’s not alright. It’s really not. Something bad could have happened tonight, to you or the baby. And just because I was being a dick. I should just take the hint, you don’t like me like that. I’m sorry I tried to kiss you. It was a mistake.” He looked me intensely in the eye, searching for something. I bit my lip. I took a breath in. No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever. It would be for the best in the end. “Austin I –“ I shook my head. “It’s okay, really it is. Something bad could have happened, but it didn’t let’s just be grateful for that.” I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Austin smiled quietly at me. “Now come on, let’s go to bed. I’m utterly exhausted.”

(Previous part: https://at.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/the-unmistake-part-eight/lmiw7xvbvbtl)

(Next part: https://at.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/the-unmistake-part-ten/tuvg5jphgcy9)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Eight

(Little bit of an emo Austin in here tonight guys. Will be posting as often as I can. Should have another part out by tomorrow, fingers crossed! Also like I said, now posted on ao3 if you prefer, under the same username.)

After wandering around for a while and looking at all the incredible decorations Baz had furnished the place with, Austin shouted “Let’s get a drink, babe.” He led me over to the crowded bar area. The flashing lights were headache inducing and the music was too loud to hear each other. Everyone looked tipsy and happy as they were dancing. God knows how many people were here, the huge warehouse was packed. Austin handed me a glass of lemonade and took his drink from the barman, nodding gratefully as he did. When we turned back around to face the crowd, Austin began shouting and pointed to a girl dancing freely. “Olivia! Olivia!” His attempts were futile over the raging music.

When we reached this girl, Austin tapped her shoulder lightly and she paused her dancing to face him. She threw her hands up delightedly and embraced him tightly. Austin kissed her cheek in greeting, and I tried to not stand too awkwardly.  “Austin! How have you been?” she exclaimed. “I’ve been great. And yourself?” Austin released himself from the hug. “Oh I’ve been brilliant. Nice to have a bit of time off with the family.” Austin noncommittedly nodded. He turned to me and snaked his hand round my waist. “This is Lottie.” She looked to Austin wide mouthed, “Aus! You didn’t make clear how gorgeous she was.” I smiled quietly to my feet. Austin huffed out a laugh. “Your dress is absolutely stunning as well!” Olivia continued. “Thank you,” I shouted, “Your dress is lovely too, the colour really suits you.” Olivia giggled and did a half curtsey, “Why thank you.” I laughed. Austin rubbed my hip and I turned to look at him. “Do you want to head up to the viewing deck now? It’s five to 12.” I nodded and we waved goodbye to Olivia before heading upstairs.

The deck was just a large balcony mounted on the side of the warehouse roof. A few other people came and greeted Austin and he introduced me. No one I could particularly see because of the low light of only scattered fairy lights. Austin found us a spot right at the railing to stand. “They start after 12. I think Baz said they’re setting them off at 12 but we will see.” “Where are they setting them off from?” I asked. “Oh, I think from a neighbouring warehouse roof.” He glanced to his watch again. A call from a man somewhere on the balcony, “One minute!” The music from inside was muted up there and Austin and I didn’t have to shout to hear one another. “So Lottie, what’s your new year’s wish.” I paused and dropped a hand to my stomach. “I think I got enough wishes for years with this.” Austin smiled sweetly. “And yourself?” “Well, like you said,” he covered my hand with his, “I couldn’t wish for anything more. And Lottie I just-“ “10…9” What was he going to say? Couldn’t be known now. I smally shook my head and joined in with the counting. “7…6…5” “Lottie,” he tried again.  “4…3” What could it possibly be? “2…” “I just-“ “1…Happy New Year!” I saw Austin’s mouth make the shape of words, but they were drowned out by the shout of people and the explosions of fireworks. “Happy New Year.” I said to Austin, my eyes quickly flitting to the sky. The fireworks were phenomenal; Austin was not joking when he said Baz went all out. All around us couples were kissing and cheering, pointing to the fireworks in wonder. I think fireworks are such a strange but wonderful thing. The destruction of one thing to create another, bursts of colourful flames that no matter how old you get are still mesmerizing. “Happy New Year, Lottie.” I glanced back to Austin smiling. He leaned against the railing, body positioned towards me, I shuffled to match him. “Austin?” His eyes flitted down from my eyes. He moved in closer. The fireworks intermittently lighting his face, giving me glimpses of his shocking blue eyes. “Yes?” he said leaning closer. He looked to me one last time before closing his eyes. I looked to the heavens and let him lean into me. As our faces met, I closed my eyes. I turned my cheek. He kissed my cheek gently. His eyes shot open, and I shuffled slightly away. Austin cleared his throat. “I’m gasping, think I’ll go get a drink.” The words flew out of me, and I was already on my way back into the warehouse, leaving Austin there wide eyed in the moonlight.

I practically ran into the toilets and locked myself into a cubicle. I just swerved my fucking baby daddy! Jeez. My foot tapped loudly as I raked my hands through my hair. I closed the toilet lid and sat down. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t wanted to kiss him. No, it wasn’t, I confirmed silently to myself. My eyes watered a little. If anything, I had really wanted to. I put some respect on the Lottie from two minutes before for her self-control though. If I’d known the betrayed face of his I was going to see then, I wouldn’t have been able to. I had to do it though. If I’d let him kiss me then I’d be terrified of wanting something out of him, I’d never get. I’d seen it happen. My parents married young, and I when I was a child, I saw no love as perfect as theirs. But as I grew up, seeing the flaws there, the fragile pieces, it wasn’t like I had thought. And they were stuck together because of me and my brothers. Not unhappy but not happy either. They just stayed together now it seemed for convenience. I couldn’t do that to myself or put that on Austin. I just couldn’t. It seemed too selfish.  

I rubbed my eyes harshly but disregarded the black smudge it left upon them. I walked out of the stool and faced my self in the mirror. I slightly resembled a racoon. “Oh for gods sake.” I murmured and turned on the tap. The girl at the sink next to me looked up. I caught her face in the mirror, and our eyes met. Olivia. Her once neutral expression dropped to a pout when she realized it was me standing there in the toilets, looking as though I’d just had a big cry. “What has he done?” she asked accusingly. I shook my head, “Nothing, he’s not done anything.” Her eyebrows rose disbelievingly, and she took out a makeup wipe pack from her bag. She handed one to me silently. A pause. “Okay, well. He tried to kiss me.” Olivia hummed quietly “But I swerved him.” I finished. A pause. Olivia cocked her head as she considered me. A lady entered the toilets and went into a stall. “Okay, what did you say to him after?” “Well, I didn’t say anything! I just came and hid in here.” Olivia’s eyebrows rose again. “And now he’s probably waiting out there for me immensely pissed off.” I pointed to the toilet doors. “No, no Austin won’t be pissed off. Maybe a little hurt, but not pissed off.” I sucked in a shaky breath. “Come back out with me, we can just get you a cab and you can just leave him for a couple of days to forget about it.” I nodded gratefully as I headed for the door. “Yes, great idea.” I paused for a moment to think. “Only one slight issue though.” “Oh, what is it?” Olivia asked. “Well we’re kind of living together.”

“You’re living together? Haven’t you two only known each other a couple of months? The way he talks about you all seemed very new puppy love. Like you two had only just started kind of dating.” I took a breath in. “Yeah because of the baby. But he talks about me?” Olivia’s brow furrowed then her mouth dropped. “The baby?! You’re pregnant!” My mouth formed an O shape. “Well yeah didn’t you know?” I muttered quietly. I let my hair fall in my face. “No I didn’t know! Aus sure kept that one quiet.” “Well Baz knew so I just assumed he’d told everyone,” I rambled. “Baz knew!” she exclaimed. “That little fucker, why didn’t he tell me.” I couldn’t help myself smiling slightly. She took my arm firmly, “Come on I need to tell him what I think of him!” I almost let her drag me out of the toilets before remembering. “No! We can’t go and see him, what am I supposed to do about, you know, ‘the incident’” “Well we can deal with ‘the incident’ later” She copied my action of putting ‘the incident’ in quotation marks. “Come on Lottie, you’ve got to go back and see him at some point anyway. I mean you said you live with him for god’s sakes. Can’t just hide in the toilets forever.”

                                                                                 ~~~

When we eventually spotted Austin around twenty minutes later, he was sitting at the bar slowly sipping a glass of whiskey. He looked a bit out it, hunched over the bar and looking dazedly at his surroundings. Olivia grimaced a little before approaching him. “Hi Aus.” she said. He spun around on his barstool. He looked me up and down slowly before turning back to the bar. He guzzled the last of his drink then tapped the bar for the barman to refill it, which he readily did. He took a small sip. “Olivia.” His tone was curt and slightly slurred. As he picked up his drink from the place on the bar, Olivia gently pushed his arm down, and took a seat beside him. I stood quietly behind the two. I suppose Olivia was wrong about him not being pissed off.

“You didn’t tell me you and Lottie were having a baby.” she said gently. Austin picked up his drink again and took a large gulp. Olivia bit her lip. “Well,” he paused, “we are.” “That’s wonderful news I’m so happy for you.” she said. Austin hummed and took another gulp. A long awkward pause. Austin glanced behind his shoulder to me for just a second, then sighed. Olivia waited a moment for him to say something, but when he didn’t said, “Well if she’s a pregnant lady, don’t you think you should get her home before everyone gets too drunk?” Olivia was talking slightly as she may to a child, but Austin didn’t seem to notice. “Home? No, she wouldn’t want that. She doesn’t want me there. She doesn’t like me, I can tell.” I inhaled deeply and held my breathe. “Aus, that’s not true and you know it.” Olivia sighed. Austin drained his cup and tapped the bar for another refill. He turned fully to face Olivia and cocked his head. “Really?” he drawled sarcastically. He turned to me and repeated himself, “Really?”. For the first time I felt uncomfortable under his eye. Oh, he was definitely pissed off. Olivia touched his arm and showed him her phone, “Look I’ve ordered you two a cab and it’s coming in 4 minutes, just outside.” Austin huffed, impressively drained his new glass of drink, then stood up a little shakily. “Come on then,” he slurred and started walking towards the door. I looked worriedly to Olivia, she waved a dismissive hand, “He’ll sleep it off.” “I really hope so.” “He will, I promise. It was lovely to meet you, Lottie.” “And yourself Olivia. Goodnight.” I turned to follow Austin, who was just reaching the doors, “Oh and Lottie?” I looked back to her. “Congratulations.” I smiled smally.

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/695228842358587392/the-unmistake-part-seven?source=share)

(Next part: https://at.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/the-unmistake-part-nine/v04a7b7jx0te)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Seven

(This isn't too long, I'll write the rest of the party possibly tomorrow. Not that anyone cares but my compromise for the spacing with speech was to just have none. Let me know if it's better or worse.)

Austin and I lazed around boxing day without much conversation. He stayed awake deep into the night of Christmas Day on the phone to his family and didn’t even come out of my bedroom until well past midday. A quiet awkwardness crept into the flat. He wasn’t mentioning it so I decided to do the same. Austin wasn’t ignoring me so to speak, but it was little odd behaviours. For example, sitting in a position far away from me on the sofa, curled up in a way that could not have been comfortable. Or shuffling his feet quickly away from mine when they accidently brushed under the dining table. He was just being slightly strange, and I was trying my best to not take offence.

We continued that way for the next few days, with little conversation and always a safe distance between us. Much to my disappointment no more cuddling in bed. Austin would sit at the dining table for hours on end earphones in, watching his laptop. When I asked him what he was doing all that time he said, “I’m watching a load of Elvis performances for work.” He seemed too importantly busy for me to bother him.

I was sitting in my room, responding to some well Christmas wishes from coworkers when I heard Austin whisper shouting from the kitchen. “No, I can’t come anymore. I’m sorry Baz – What? Oh yes. Well I can’t leave her alone. She already told me she’s not going out.” A pause. I was trying hard not to eavesdrop, but to be fair my flat was small. “Alright I’ll ask her. Not a definite no but not a yes – Yes okay.” When he walked into the bedroom, I pretended to be busy on my laptop. “Hey,” he said sweetly. I glanced up to his face. “How would you feel about going to a New Year’s party?” He cocked his head. I hummed thoughtfully. “Okay, just before you say no, Baz does brilliant firework displays. We can just go, see the fireworks, I’ll introduce you to some of my friends, then leave before everyone gets too drunk. That sound alright?” “Sounds good to me. I’m easy.” Austin positively beamed at me before coming and shuffling onto the bed beside me.

“What are you doing?” “Work niceties.” I explained, showing him the many merry Christmas emails. He hummed. “Christ, I’m glad I don’t have to do things like that. Baz runs a very laxed operation.” “Lucky boy. I have to do this if I don’t want Linda slagging me off for weeks to the boss about my unfriendly attitude.” I clicked open the email and began typing out an appropriate response. Austin made a sound between a scoff and a chuckle. “How many have you done?” “Jeez, this has got to be at least the 14th.” He laughed again. I sighed quietly but smiled.

                                                  ~~~

“Lottie! Are you nearly ready? I’ve ordered a cab for half an hours’ time.” Austin called out from the bathroom. “Oh okay.” I replied quietly. I stood before my full-length mirror, shoulders hunched and defeated. After immense struggle my dress simply wouldn’t fit. I blinked back the tears forming in my eye line. I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. “Lottie? Did you hear-“Austin paused as he entered the bedroom. He pouted as he took in my sad form. “I’m sorry, I can’t get it on.” He shook his quickly. “What are you saying sorry for, babe?” I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked to the floor. “Do you want me to try?” he offered kindly. I shook my head silently. “It just won’t go.” “Alright,” he came and sat next to me, “is there anything else you can wear?” As I shook my head again, I sniffed loudly, and the tears imminently came. “Shit, sorry.” Austin whispered. He took my hand and linked it with his. I suppose he was giving up on the no touching rule he’d subconsciously set over the past few days. “It’s not your fault Aus. I’m really sorry about all this. You should just go without me.” He squeezed my hand and gently lifted my face to meet his gaze. “I already told Baz I wasn’t going unless you came with me.” He swiped under my eye carefully with his thumb. “Oh Austin,” I protested, “Don’t be like that, just go.” He shook his head just once.

I dropped his hand and walked determinedly over to my wardrobe. I would not let him miss this party just because of me, especially considering everything he had missed recently because of me. I racked through my wardrobe three times over, like I hadn’t done it multiple times before Austin had come in. He sat on the bed. I felt the material on my fingers and dug into depths. I’d forgotten about this. I forcefully wrenched the dress way out from the back and heard Austin let out a breath of good-natured laughter. I harmlessly glared over my shoulder before stalking off to the bathroom.

After a quick fight with the previous dress I was entangled in, I pulled the new dress over my head. The dark stretchy fabric carefully clung to me. I adjusted the gemstones emblazoned along the deep cut neckline to sit just right, showing just enough cleavage. I looked to myself in the bathroom mirror and let out a relieved sigh, my shoulders setting back. I walked out of the bathroom and met Austin in the living room. He slyly looked me up and down before whispering under his breath, “Gorgeous.” But I heard him.

As I felt myself flush, I relished in the feeling of feeling pretty, even just for that second. As Austin, standing there in his statement of a suit, with his perfect jawline and piercing blue eyes with eyelashes so thick it looked as though he was wearing makeup, said I was gorgeous, I believed him. Even despite the fact I was struggling to fit into any of my nice clothes as I’d put on so much weight just ten minutes ago. Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t need anyone to tell you’re gorgeous to be it, but still, it can be nice right? Especially when the guy is fit as fuck.

                                                    ~~~

The cab had drove all through London and seemingly out of it. In the darkness I really could not see my surroundings too well, just what seemed to be a large warehouse with bright light slipping under the door. “Are you ready?” Austin asked as he paid the taxi driver. I nodded and we stepped out of the cab. The pavement outside the warehouse was thumping as Austin guided us around to the side. He greeted the bouncer by name as we came to large double doors. The bouncer smiled at me politely as he opened them for us. The sound hit like a sonic boom. Austin’s arm slithered around my waist, and I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran through me. As we entered the premises a middle-aged, grey-haired man walked up to us through the mass of people. His outfit was shiny and red, his glasses large and eccentric. “Austinn!” he slurred happily as he engulfed Austin in a huge hug. “You made it!” Austin laughed into his shoulder. He said something into the man’s ear that I didn’t catch over the music. The man laughed and pulled away. Austin’s hand returned to its position around my waist. “This is Lottie.” He looked to me and smiled down warmly. “And this is Baz.” He nodded to the man. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” Baz exclaimed throwing his hands up. A light bulb moment incarnate. He lifted his chunky glasses from his face as if to take a closer look at me. “The lovely Lottie!” he beamed and I giggled. He took me by the shoulders and looked me intensely in the eye. “You are just beautiful, darling. Absolutely glowing!” I glanced to Austin, who just stood with his arms folded watching on. Does he know?, I mouthed. Austin nodded. Baz looked to Austin and seemed to understand. “Oh yes and congratulations darling. Wonderful news, absolutely wonderful.” He turned to Austin, waggling his finger. “Now Aus you have been a very lucky boy, watch your step with this one. If you’re not careful someone will come and-“ “I know Baz.” Austin said firmly. “Of course, you do, my boy.” He turned to me and winked. “Now have fun my darlings, I need a drink. The rest are here somewhere Aus.” He waved playfully before sinking back into the crowd. “He’s brilliant.” I said. “That he is.” Austin returned.

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/695040847588245504/the-unmistake-part-six?source=share)

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/695408688926801920/the-unmistake-part-eight?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

Posted "The Unmistake" on ao3. It's under the same username!!

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Six

(Oops really sorry, first week back at school been a bit hectic but it’s not that deep. I’ll probably upload another part tomorrow. No promises though. Sorry if it’s shit and short. Also air the fact this all Christmas shit now I didn’t intend for that.)

It smelled like Christmas, the warm gingerbread, pine needles, cinnamon kind of Christmas. I could hear the radio softly playing Christmas songs in the kitchen and Austin humming quietly along. I took a minute to lay there and savour the moment. Something so pleasingly domestic. I pulled myself out of bed and headed out into my living room. The comforting smell was even stronger out there. Austin was making coffee in the kitchen, but he turned around when he heard me, smiling. “Merry Christmas.” he said. I returned his festive greeting. “Sit down, I’ve got breakfast all sorted and it’s nearly ready.” I followed his instructions while he went out to the kitchen, trying not to feel guilty about how much he was cooking for me.

He brought out two plates of warm cinnamon rolls. “Shit did you make those?” The smell alone was mouth-watering. He nodded shyly before saying, “My mum would make us cinnamon rolls every Christmas morning.” I nodded as I took a bite, “Well these are incredible Aus, thank you.” I scoffed my cinnamon rolls in a way that was much less graceful than I would have hoped for, but Austin didn’t seem to mind. He was too busy intermittently singing the songs on the radio and eating himself. “My mum told us to be round there about midday. Are you sure you’re ready for the grilling of possibly every one of my family members?” “Of course.” Austin replied coolly. I inhaled deeply, preparations for the awkwardness I was about to bring upon this chilled lovely Christmas morning. “And you’re still up for saying what you said yesterday?” Austin chuckled. “Bit late now if I wasn’t, isn’t it? Lottie stop stressing, it will be fine. I am an actor after all.” Disaster averted.

                                                                 ~~~

We approached the front door, and I exhaled deeply before turning to Austin. Practically my entire family was on the other side. “Ready?” “Ready.” he replied evenly.  I rung the door bell. It was my father who opened it to us and welcomed us into the hallway. He took mine and Austin’s coats and went and put them upstairs. Down the hallway, in the kitchen, my entire family awaited. A moment passed as I considered just running back out the front door before Austin sighed and placed his hand gently on the small of my back. “Come on babe.” he muttered before guiding me down through to the kitchen.

The kitchen table of my family home normally seated eight, but when extended, as it was now, it seated 12, 14 at a push, and my mother really was pushing it with the amount of people that were in attendance. I would have guessed about thirty. “Lottie, my darling!” a voice called. My Great Auntie Marge. I smiled tightly as she approached Austin and I. I did not like my Auntie Marge. “Hi Auntie.” I greeted quietly. She grabbed my shoulders too tightly as she embraced me, pulling me away from the comfort of Austin’s touch. She held me away from her as she scanned me up and down, her inspection so critical I struggled to restrain myself from jolting away. “You’ve gotten quite large darling.” I grimaced and she let me go. Austin’s hand immediately returned to my back sending a surge of support through me, I stood up straighter. It was then she seemed to notice Austin for the first time. As she scanned him too, she said accusingly, “And you are?” Austin forever the gentleman held out a hand which my aunt cautiously took, and he shook firmly. “Austin, Lottie’s boyfriend.” When he said it so naturally, I couldn’t contain my blushing. My Aunt scoffed, “Boyfriend! How funny, our Lottie is really not cut out for anything like that.” I felt my face grow hotter still and Austin’s grip tighten on me. She continued “That really is a wonderful jok-“ “Lottie, Austin! You made it! And only half an hour late, I must say I am terribly impressed, you are normally so late for everything Lottie.” My mother rescued me from further torment and then enveloped both Austin and I in a hug. The both of us! Although I doubt she was doing it out of genuine affection, more likely to annoy my Great Aunt, whom she too had never really liked. She enjoyed stopping her from talking as much as possible, along with most of my relations. Nobody liked my Great Aunt Marge.  

From then until we were seated for the beginning of lunch, my mother took Austin and I around to everyone at lunch and made it her mission to introduce him to everyone. Austin was a complete saint throughout, even when the dog escaped from upstairs and destroyed his shoelaces. Even when various teenage cousins of mine, who had very obvious crushes, asked him millions of questions all starry-eyed. Even when my Uncle Mark handed him a baby cousin whose parents I did not even know, that proceed to get baby drool all over his jumper. Even when my brothers hounded him about his intentions and what he wanted with me in a way only brothers can. And even when my father tried to talk football with him for the best part of half an hour and tried to get him to buy a Spurs season ticket.

It was fair to say by the time we took our seats, him next to me, with plates of food piled high in front of us, I was feeling incredibly indebted to Austin and was attempting to figure out a possible repayment. “The face.” he muttered. I turned to him. “What?” “You’re making that face again.” he chuckled as he took a bite of his food. My eyes rolled. “Well, I’m just sorry about all this,” I sighed and gestured to my family all in various conversations. He put down his fork. “Why are you apologizing, I knew what I was getting into. You’d already told me about your crazed family dog, remember?” he joked. I smiled gratefully as I returned to my food.      

We left as early as politely possible, and I dragged Austin by the hand, out of the living room before my younger cousins could suck him into a game of Pictionary. “Come on I want to show you the lights.” I said. Austin’s eyebrows raised in question. We got in a cab, and I told them to take us uptown to where all the shops were. The Christmas decorations were always excellent, and they illuminated the now dark streets. We bought hot chocolate to warm our hands as we walked along admiring the lights. I have to admit I was quietly pleased with myself that Austin seemed to thoroughly enjoy looking at it all, taking pictures on his phone and muttering quiet “Wow”s. We stopped in front of a particularly impressive display and Austin asked a woman to take a photo of us together. I tried not to be too delighted that he would want a photo of us. He held my waist with one hand and his hot chocolate with the other. I smiled brightly at the camera. “Lottie.” I turned to look at him facing me, he leaned in closer grinning, his eyes dipping from my eyes to my lips. My stomach flipped. His eyelids fluttered shut as our noses nearly met. He was going to- “All done, I took a few, hopefully one of them is good.” Austin’s eyes shot open, and he quickly recoiled. The woman walked towards us, and Austin took his phone back with a tight, but appreciative smile, cheeks slightly red, from the cold or possibly something else. “Thank you.” I said to her; my voice felt fragile. We stood there for a moment, sipping our hot chocolates as the lady walked off. I stamped my numb feet. “It’s getting too cold,” I said, “We should start heading back.” When Austin’s nonchalant agreement came, I tried not to drown in disappointment.        

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694320145807572992/the-unmistake-part-five?source=share)

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/695228842358587392/the-unmistake-part-seven?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

i am very upset that austin butler in dune will be in that horrible costume. at least we will be getting new interviews.

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Five

( This part is about 2500 words. I don’t know if I will be uploading a new part everyday but we will see. I am debating whether to put this on Wattpad or AO3 so let me know maybe if that is easier and if the spacing is not weird like on here.)

Austin’s POV

She was cuddled up next to me. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest against mine. Opening my eyes, I took a peek at her. While we had both fallen asleep on separate sides of the bed, throughout the night we must have shuffled towards each other. I knew I should move before she woke up to me creepily staring at her, but I was relishing in the moment. From our first meeting I had wanted her and now, laying in her bed with her cuddled to my chest, it felt like she was mine. No Austin, this was only because of unlikely circumstances, I scolded. If she’d have had it her way, I would have never seen her again after that night. The thought hurt a lot more than I wanted it to.

When I finally built up the effort to drag myself away from her, I was careful to not wake her up. Each time I saw her she seemed to be more tired, and I figured it was from basically dealing with this pregnancy all alone. But she wasn’t alone anymore, I was here, and I would be for as long as she let me. Today was a big day for her. Anyone could tell that her parents’ reaction was eating her alive. I thought of my family, my dad and my sister. How they were together as a family far far away from here. How I was here. Was it too much to have sprung the moving in together on her? To have just invited myself into her life in more ways than she may have wanted? To be honest all I was running on after I heard her sobbing, was the need to get to her as quickly as possible. My family could wait for the moment, they had each other, but she had no one.

I looked around her flat, there really was not a single Christmas related decoration anywhere. That needed to be fixed. As I was wondering if they still sold Christmas trees on Christmas Eve, she wandered out from the bedroom. If I was looking for it, I could see the small bump in her pajamas. I smiled. A real life baby. “Austin.” She said, “I’m going round to my parents’ in an hour or so.” I nodded. While she padded off to the bathroom and started the shower, I went back to the bedroom, putting on the last of the clothes I’d brought with me. I needed to go shopping. I sat waiting for her in the living room, messing about on my phone. She announced herself as ready and we started walking to the train station. “It’s only a couple of stops.” She said. I really didn’t understand how the London tubes and trains worked and just followed her along.

She was pacing along the train carriage and refused to sit down, every time the train jolted I was sure she was going to fall over. Her nervousness was making me nervous. I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the seat next to me. “Babe, you need to chill.” I said. She huffed out but nodded. We got off the train and took a quick walk to her parents’ house. She shook out her hands before she rung the doorbell.

A 50ish woman opened the door smiling, “Lottie! Finally, you haven’t been round in ages, darling.”                                   “I’ve been busy with work mum.” Her mother hummed before nodding to me.                                         “Who is this, Lottie? A new boyfriend perhaps.” her mother teased. Lottie just shook her head mouth open to begin denying. Before she could do any more than that, I held out my hand. “Austin.” I offered. She took it. “Sharon.” she returned. We were welcomed into the house.

It was obviously a family home, filled with pictures of children, dvds, a feeling that said this house was lived in. Something tugged in me. My father had sold my childhood home soon after my mother’s death. I understood why. She was everywhere there, but when he had done it, it felt like I had lost the final part of my mother. The place where most of our memories had been made, gone. I stopped myself.

While her mother was in the kitchen making tea and calling to Lottie’s father, Lottie whispered to me, “Austin I can’t do this.” This was why I was here. I took a seat next to her and pulled her hands away from her face. I linked our hands and squeezed them twice.                                                                                                                     “You can.” I said firmly. Her mother joined us in the living room. Looked to our joint hands and smiled. Lottie dropped my hand.  I took a sip of my tea.                                                                            “Johnathon!” Her mother shouted. “Come and see your daughter right now.” A greying ginger man then came down the stairs and into the living room. “My girl! How have you been?”                                                               “I’ve been alright Dad; now please sit down I have something I need to tell you.” He frowned but silently took a seat next to his wife.                                                                                                                                                     “Darling?” her mother said. Lottie took a deep breath. “Mum, Dad.” She looked to both of them. “I’m pregnant and it’s his.” She pointed to me. I cursed as I felt myself flinch. She could have put it a littler nicer.                                                                                                                                                              “Excuse me?” her mother asked.                                                                                                                                                     “Mum please don’t make me say it again.” Her voice broke halfway through her words. I took her hand again. When her mother looked down to them, she didn’t smile, but Lottie didn’t drop my hand. We sat in silence. Oh, please for the love of God say something, I prayed for Lottie’s sake. Her hand was sweaty.

It was her mother who broke the stand-off.                                                                                                                                  “Are you to be married?” Lottie let out a pained noise before beginning, “No mum, we’re not… we aren’t even…” I could see where this was going. Lottie was losing it a bit. I took my chance to step in.                                                                          “Engaged.” I said keeping my voice even. Lottie’s looked to me, and I glanced back at her in a way I hoped was assuring. “We’re not even engaged. I’m just her boyfriend.” Lottie coughed a little at the lie. Her parents didn’t seem to notice. I squeezed our hands. Her mother sighed deeply. “Well, it’s a modern world and you are an adult. We’re happy if you’re happy sweetie, even if you’ve never mentioned this ‘Austin’ before.” Lottie let out a sigh. I rubbed my thumb in circles over hers.

After a while of her parents asking after her and the baby’s health, me keeping quiet, and Lottie avoiding as many questions about me as possible, we left. Still holding hands. I smiled quietly to myself. But when her mother shut the door, Lottie dropped my hand and lightly slapped my chest. “Austin! Why did you do that? I just lied to them!”                                                                                                                                                                                   “I just thought it would be easier for them to accept that way! Don’t have a go at me, I was only trying to help.” She huffed and started walking quickly up the road. “Lottie! Come on, they took it better, didn’t they?” She stopped and turned to face me. Waited for me to catch up with her, then carried on walking. I decided to not say anymore on the matter. After a moment she said, “They did, but it was still a lie.” I inhaled. “I know it was, I’m sorry.” She nodded. Not much else was said the whole way home. 

                                                            ~~~   

We walked through the door of Lottie’s house, and she threw herself on the sofa, smushing her face into a pillow. I wanted to cheer her up and to cheer her little flat up with some Christmas joy. I also really needed some more clothes. While my duffel bag worth had sufficed for the past couple of days, if I was sticking around til work started back up again, I just didn’t have enough. “I’ll be back soon.” I told her. She replied with an unintelligible noise.

My first stop was clothes, I just picked up anything in my size I could find while trying not to go crazy with all the people going crazy around me, doing their extremely last-minute Christmas shopping. I wasn’t looking what the clothes looked like, if they were my size, I was just picking them up. On my way to the till, I saw some baubles and bought those too. I flagged down a taxi and asked him to take me somewhere I could get a Christmas tree. He just turned around to me and laughed, “It’s Christmas Eve mate. Good fucking luck with that.” before taking me to a nearby florist. Thankfully they did have a single Christmas tree left. It was slightly brown and droopy, but I bought it anyways. Then I thought the flowers on the display were pretty, so I got a bunch for Lottie. Maybe I had thought they might help her forgive me for making her lie to her parents or maybe I just wanted to buy her flowers. As I stepped out of the shop, I was very pleased with myself and my purchases. But then I quickly realized I was hauling a five-foot Christmas tree and heaps of shopping with no car to put it in. How the fuck was I getting back? It took two cabbies turning me down to give up on that idea, and it was getting later, I wanted to get back. I still needed to call my dad. I struggled with the tree down to the tube station and literally let it slide down the steps to the platform. While I got some odd looks, no one said anything. And I still didn’t really understand the tubes, so I just got on a vaguely familiar one and hoped for the best.

The gods must have been really looking out for me because I’d gotten on the right tube and ended up near Lottie’s flat. I lugged all my shit out the tube station, through the streets, to her building, to the lift, to her front door. I was sweating even in the December chill. As I knocked on the door, I dropped the tree and took the flowers, tilting my head and smiling in a way I hoped was charming, not creepy. Lottie started talking before she even opened the door. “Hi Aus. Where did you go for so long? You’ve been gone ages. I was just thinking about dinner. Do you want take-away….” She abruptly stopped when she fully opened the door to see me, panting, smiling, standing in a pile of my purchases.                                                                                                                                                               “Jeez what is all this!” she said.                                                                                                                                                           “Merry Christmas!” I cheered. “No, most of it is clothes for me but, can you just hold these a minute-” she took the flowers from my hands. I picked up the tree and started dragging it inside. It left a trail of pine needles after it. “but those are for you.” I nodded to the flowers. She blushed. The girl blushed! What felt like hundreds of cuts from the pine needles on my hands, suddenly stung a lot less.

We put the tree up in the corner of the living room opposite the sofa. Lottie pulled out some other baubles and lights from under her bed. Turned out she wasn’t a total Grinch. We decorated the tree together and I felt weird the whole time. Almost fuzzy. I was thinking things I shouldn’t have been. Like Lottie with a baby on her hip decorating a tree in her parents’ house with me helping. By next Christmas she probably wouldn’t want me living with her, probably would have a boyfriend and I would probably be missing out on all the special things with our baby. I shut my eyes and shook my head; I had to stop.

Over a dinner of Chinese takeaway Lottie said to me quietly, “I’m sorry I got stroppy with you earlier Austin.” She waved her hand to stop with as I went to protest. “Let me just finish please. I am actually really grateful you covered for me because I think things could have turned out very differently. And I really don’t think you and I would have been invited to my family’s Christmas dinner tomorrow. My mum phoned me about it.”                                                                                                                                                                               “Oh, wow what did you tell her?”                                                                                                                                                    “That we’d be there? As long as that’s alright with you?”                                                                                                             “No that’s perfectly alright with me. I’ll be there.”                                                                                                                         After dinner Lottie went to bed before me. I still had a phone call to make. My dad should be awake in California. He answered after the second ring.                                                                                                                           “Hey Aus! What’s going on, son? We’re missing you here, ready to tell me why you left in such a rush?” I pinched the bridge of my nose.                                                                                                                                           “Fuck, yeah I’m sorry dad. That is kind of why I’m calling. It’s just-“                                                                                             “Hey! Is that Austin, put him on speakerphone!” I heard my sister shouting in the background. My dad, I think sensing the seriousness in my voice, said “I’ll pass him over in a minute, honey. Go on Austin.” I inhaled deeply.                                                                                                                                                                   “I’m gonna be a father, Dad.” Tears pricked my eyes. “I got this girl pregnant here. But she’s great and we’re gonna be fine. I just know we’re gonna be fine. I’ve been putting this off because I didn’t want to disappoint you, to disappoint Mum. It all has just happened so fast but-“                                                     “Austin.” My father’s voice was always even.                                                                                                                                 “Yes?”                                                                                                                                                                                                     “Are you happy?” The question sat for the briefest of moments.                                                                                               “I’m really happy, dad.”                                                                                                                                                                       “Then son, I’m happy and your mother is too, God rest her soul. All she ever wanted was for you to be happy.” His voice grew gruff at the mention of my mum. I looked up. A tear trailed down my cheek.                                                                                                                                                                                   “Thanks, dad.”                                                                                                                                                                                   “Now you got to tell me more about this baby, so I know when I need to fly over to meet the little thing.”                                                                    

My dad and I spoke for over an hour, we hadn’t spoken like that in a long while. Not with my busy work schedule and the time differences, but I grew tired, probably from lugging a Christmas tree halfway across London, and I told him goodnight in favour of sleep. I crept into Lottie’s bedroom trying not to wake her up.                                                                                                                                                                   “Hi Aus.” she muttered. Aus. I smiled quietly in the dark.                                                                                                                                                                 “Shit, sorry did I wake you?”                                                                                                                                                              “It’s fine,” she slurred “I like sleeping with you anyway.” My face got hot. “You’re warm and cuddly.”                             I climbed into bed on my side but she shuffled over to me. I mean I wasn’t complaining. I thought I was surely dreaming when she snuggled closer to me and sighed contentedly into my chest.                                                                                                     “Goodnight Lottie.” I whispered into her hair. When she didn’t respond, I touched the lightest of kisses to her head.       

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694229805341835264?source=share)          

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/iloveaustinbutlerlol/695040847588245504/the-unmistake-part-six?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

I GOT HARRY STYLES TICKETS FOR LOVE ON TOUR 2023!!!!!

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

My favorite Austin pictures <3

Most of these scream bf/husband material

He’s so fucking gorgeous 🫶🏽

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Four

(I am giving up with the spacing, it is just being weird. The chapters from here on out should be just as long.)

We had sat down at a table and Austin was looking at me intently arms crossed across his chest as he leant back. “I’ve got to ask,” he said, “how is all this going to work?” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know Austin.”  He raked a hand through his hair. “I want to be involved.” He nodded as he said it, the truth in his words shining through. “But I don’t even live in this country. I’m only here for this project. We don’t even know each other; I don’t know how to make this work. It has all just happened so quickly.” I felt everything he was saying, I’d thought about it all. “Well, we can get to know each other?” I offered. He uncrossed his arms. “It’s a good idea. I’ll start,” he said. “My name is Austin Butler, I am 29, and I’m from California.” I giggled; this was very weird. “Okay,” I began, “My name is Lottie Green, I am 26, and I’m from London.”

Over the course of lunch, we literally interviewed each other which was strange but helpful. He told me more about the film he was working on and how he was playing Elvis Presley. I told him about my slightly crazed Catholic family and the mental family dog. Fair to say Austin’s part of our faux interview must have been much more interesting to me than mine was to him. But he listened politely the whole time looking interested and even paid for lunch. We kept it light-hearted and while I got to know him slightly better, our predicament was still the same: strangers with a baby on the way. He apologized that he was unable to take me home as ‘Baz’ was already repeatedly messaging him saying he was late 20 minutes ago and that if he didn’t show up asap, he was to be ‘fired’. I thought it was probably a joke, but Austin looked a bit put out, pouting quite cutely, so we said our goodbyes and he left me with a promise to text me tonight.

I couldn’t believe how calm I’d been so far considering the looming obstacle of telling my slightly crazed Catholic family that I was pregnant. Not only pregnant, but pregnant with a child of a man whom I was not married to, nor even in a relationship with. For the rest of the day, I wallowed around my flat eating shit, and watching Brooklyn 99. I considered whether this situation was enough to be disowned, but I reassured myself I could play it off as a gift from God, as I had always been told I was infertile. If that didn’t work, I suppose I could lie and say Austin was actually my boyfriend, but he had just been in America before now. I sat on the sofa double screening as I looked at my phone and the TV simultaneously. Then the doorbell went off.

I trudged to the door, thinking who the fuck is coming by my house at 11pm, and looked through the peephole to see if I was about to get murdered. Austin was standing there? How did he know where I lived? I opened the door to a guilty looking Austin, scratching his ear. “Hi Lottie.”                                                               “Hi, Austin?”                                                                                                                                                      “May I come in?”                                                                                                                                                                                   “Oh yeah sure, I was just a bit freaked out how you knew where I lived.”                                                                           “It was on the envelope of the letter.”                                                                                                                                                               “Right,”                                                                                                                                                                      “I just got off work,” Jeez just now? “And I was going to text you, but I thought this conversation ought to be done in person.” He was freaking me out, but I decided to cast it to the back of my mind and let him talk. “Okay.” I said and led him into my flat, mentally groaning at the state of it. “Want a drink? Tea, coffee, anything?”                                                                                                                             “A coffee would be great thanks.” Fiddling with his rings, sitting on the edge of my sofa, he looked very young. I went over to my small kitchen to make his drink. When I returned, he thanked me as I gave it to him. “So,” he started. “So.” I responded. “I wanted to start off by saying sorry.” He said, now I was even more confused. “For getting us into this mess,” he continued, “it was my shitty condom.” “Austin, gosh don’t be silly, it takes two, and anyways did you not read my big, long letter about how this is somewhat of a miracle to me.”                                                                                                                                     “I did, I did but still I am sorry. This situation is not…”                                                                                                                   “Ideal.” I finished. “I get it we are still practically strangers and, in a few months, we’re going to have a child together.” He nodded then paused, before continuing. “Well, we are only strangers because of how you left in the morning.” What? Seeing my furrowed brow, he explained. “I never intended us to be. When I met you, I didn’t have the intentions of this just being a one-night stand.” Oh. That took me by surprise. His honesty silenced me.

Austin then continued, “After the next scan I leave for Graceland for a week or so.”                                                            “Graceland?”                                                                                                                                                                                           “Elvis’s house is there in Memphis, Tennessee. Baz thinks it would be helpful to my performance to go and see the real deal.” I nodded. “I am trying to fix a flight so I can be back for the scan after next but I can’t be sure. This is my pre-warning that I might not be there.” While this was upsetting to hear, I was grateful he was giving me fair warning. He was trying, willing to even come round my house when he must be exhausted from work. The more I was around him the more I could see he was a good guy. “Who have you told?” he asked. I picked some fluff off the sofa cushion before answering, “No one.”                                                                                                                                              “Me either.” he replied quietly, we shared a small smile. “I’m going to tell people when I get back.” he said.                                                                                                                                                                     “Sounds good,” I responded. He finished the last of his coffee and then stood up.                                               “I better be going, sorry for coming round so late.”                                                                                                                                                                                                       “It’s fine Austin, I appreciate it.” We walked to the front door. He turned the handle. “I’ll see you Wednesday, Lottie. Call me if you need me.” He left with a smile and the flat got colder.

Part 6

Austin was still in Graceland. Recently he had been messaging me frequently, checking up on me, sending me various articles on pregnancy, asking what my symptoms were. Just being there for me in general. I am led to believe this started after the last scan he was at because he had heard all the doctor had said about me ending my first trimester. It was all feeling a lot more real. I was just looking forward to not having morning sickness every day. The scan after, that Austin had missed, was weird. I’d sent him the scan picture, but the examination room had felt lonely. I had silently cursed myself for thinking that. I’d been around the guy three times total. How could I miss him. As Christmas and Austin’s return approached, I was thinking more and more about telling my parents. If I told them at Christmas, would they be extra happy or extra mad? A question that was unanswerable. Austin not being at the scan had made me realise how lonely I really was in all of this, I’d told no one except him so there was no one else to call to come with me.

Since I’d found out, I’d also being avoiding my family, but that was pretty impossible to do at Christmas. Don’t get me wrong my parents were great people, but they had their views that a baby should have married parents. The hormones in me made me want to cry at thinking that, and I quickly started panicking. By the time I’d dialed his number, I was sobbing.  

He answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?” his voice was panicked “Why are you crying? Lottie what’s wrong? Is something wrong with the baby?”                                                                                                                                                                                                  “Austin,” I gasped “How am I going to tell them! What if they never speak to me again. What if they’ll never see me again, never want to see the baby. It’s Christmas in three days! How have I left this til now. I’m all alone. What if they kick me out of the family, cut me out of photos. What if…” Austin, the voice of reason, then stepped in. “Lottie listen, while your parents may not throw a party over the situation within which you’re having this baby, I highly doubt they’re going to never want to see you again.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. His mellow voice soothing. “I don’t know how my dad will react either, we’re both in the same boat here.”                                                                                                                                                     “What about your mum?” I asked, my voice ragged from the crying. Austin inhaled slowly and shakily. “My mum passed away six years ago.” His defeated voice set me off again, tears streaming. Why was I crying? I should have been comforting him. “Lottie it’s alright. I do know my mum would have been very happy though, she always wanted grandchildren.”                                                             “Austin I am so scared about all of this.”                                                                                                                                                                       “Me too. We will be okay.”                                                                                                                                                                                                 We. One word was all the comfort I needed. ‘We’ was a team, was a support system, was what I really needed right now. My heavy beathing softened.                                                                                                                                                                  “I’m coming back to England.” He said                                                                                                                                                                 “Austin but you’re supposed to be going home for Christmas.”                                                                                                     “Well, I am needed elsewhere.” He stated simply.                                                                                                                         “Austin I can’t let you do that. You can’t not be home for Christmas.” I argued.                                                                       “I can and I am. I’ll see you soon Lottie.” He hung up the phone.

I must have fallen asleep on the sofa that night to the mindless hum of ITV 2 because when I awoke it was to gentle raps on the door. The clock on the oven shone 05:12. “What the fuck?” I whispered. I approached the door, looked through the peephole and was met with piercing blue eyes. He couldn’t have actually? Austin knocked on the door again and whisper shouted “Lottie, it’s Austin Butler, the father of your unborn child.” I whipped open the door. Seriously?  Austin fell forward a bit, his reaction delayed and tired. “What the hell are you doing here, you div!? I told you to stay in America.” I hissed.                                                                                                                                                    “Well, I was dreaming of a white Christmas…” he started almost drunkenly singing, “No snow in California!”                                                                                                                                                                    He pushed past me into the flat.  “It doesn’t snow here either Austin.” He shrugged. I was honestly too tired for this.                                                                                                                                                         “Not very festive in here.” He observed looking around my very decoration free living room and throwing himself and a large duffel bag on the sofa. I shut the front door, I couldn’t be bothered, he could sleep on the sofa, I had work tomorrow. “Not a lot of festive cheer around here.” I said coolly. I made my way to my bedroom. The large man in my living could be dealt with in the morning.

“Where are you going?” he called from the sofa. “I’ve come halfway across the world to see you and you don’t even care to ask why?” he teased “I am wounded.” He mockingly grabbed the dagger in his chest. I stopped and turned around.                                                                                                                               “Why have you Austin? You should be with your family.” He pouted.                                                                                       A pause.                                                                                                                                                                   “Because I think we should move in together.”

Part Seven

I am surprised I didn’t shout out in shock. What was he going on about? “Okay, okay listen to me here,” he threw his hands up in surrender, “I hate to think you’re all alone in here. Breaks my heart a little bit if I’m honest.” He paused to check if I was listening. I was. Maybe I was just too tired to argue, and he was monopolizing the opportunity. “And also, you were going to have to have someone move in at some point to help with the baby. Why not just a bit earlier than expected? There is no way you can do it by yourself.” I clenched my fists; I didn’t like being told what I can and can’t do. “Finally, I’m all in Lottie. All in. I want to make this work and I know we can. I think you know that too.” I watched his face start to fall as I stood there reactionless. I walked towards him and enveloped him in a hug. He smelt warm and sleepy but squeezed me back just as tightly as I did him. “Thank you.” I whispered into his chest. A tear trailed from my eye.

How could I have been so lucky. This whole situation could be so much worse, but Austin had shown me in such a short space of time he was a kind, reliable, good man. Someone I could trust and who supported me. The relief was gushing, and I knew I was ready to tell my parents. Christmas Eve, I would do it. Austin sighed happily, released me, then curled up into the sofa. Even without me saying we both knew I had agreed with him. By the time I’d come back from my room with a blanket he was out. The idiot had flown across the world through the night just to propose something to me he didn’t even know I would agree to. I prayed then our baby would be just as brilliant as he was. I laid the blanket over him, and he hummed in his sleep. I went to my bedroom hoping that I would get at least another hour of sleep in before work.

I woke up exhausted, but I knew I couldn’t take anymore days off considering the suspicious amounts I had been taking off to go to pregnancy appointments and the fact it was literally Christmas Eve tomorrow. I would have to tell my boss after Christmas. Austin was still sprawled over my sofa asleep, so I quietly padded around the flat as I got ready for work. I left a note on the coffee table in front of him, hoping he would see it when he got up. ‘Make yourself at home; I’ll be back from work around six. There’s a spare key hidden in the flowers outside the door if you leave the house. See you soon. Lottie’

I tried to take my mind off of the man and I suppose my soon to be flat-mate while I was at work but it was pretty impossible. This was everyone’s last day of work before the Christmas bank holidays anyways and it was easy to tell no one in the office was really doing anything. Austin’s preposition from last night kept floating around my head. Where did he mean for us to live? At my house? It was only one bedroom, so that wouldn’t work. And Austin couldn’t just sleep on the sofa for the next six months. He was only staying at a hotel, even though it was fancy, so we couldn’t move in there. What was he doing about Christmas? And what about his life in America? Surely, he wasn’t going to stay here forever. My flat’s rent was astonishingly cheap for London and when he upped and left back for America, I knew I couldn’t handle the rent of anything different alone. These were all things that I should have asked him last night, but I was just too tired and confused to do so.

On the train home I made a mental list of everything I was going to ask him when I got back. As I walked through the door, Austin back’s faced to me in the kitchen. He quickly turned around to me and smiled. “What are you doing?” I asked pointing to the pot on the hob.                                                                         “I’m just making dinner.” He said. Oh. That was nice. “It should be ready in like ten minutes.”                                                 “Okay.” I nodded gratefully. I never normally had a cooked meal after work, I was always too tired, especially since I’d been pregnant. I would just snack until I went to sleep. I got changed straight into my pajamas and went back out to the living room. You wouldn’t have known he had been here all day; he had left no mess.

Austin had brought two bowls of food over to the table and was sat waiting for me. It smelled like he had made curry. I took a mouthful and refrained for moaning. He looked to me with eyes asking if it was good and I nodded. He smiled then began eating himself. After a moment, I remembered my list from the train and began with, “So how is this gonna work? Where are we going to live?” He paused thinking.                                                                                                                                                                       “We will have to get somewhere bigger, three bedrooms. One for you,” he pointed to me, “One for me,” he turned his finger to himself, “and one for baby.” He pointed then to my stomach. I ran a small hand over my stomach and let out a laugh. “Austin, I can’t ask you to move here just because of this.”                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Lottie you never asked me to, I want to. And besides this project is keeping me here for the next year.” That did make me feel a little less guilty. “We’re going to make this work babe.” He reached across the table and squeezed my hand gently before retracting it.  I felt myself flush a little at that.                                                                                                                                                                                    “I am telling my parents tomorrow.” I said quietly.                                                                                                                           “Do you want me to come with? Bit of moral support?” he tilted his head as he asked the question. Was it probably a bad idea, yes, but I needed all the support I could get if I was going to face my parents. I nodded gratefully. “I do also have a favour to ask.” He said meekly after a moment. I glanced up from my bowl to show I was listening. Austin was scratching the back of his neck. “Um, since my return was a bit spur of the moment kind of thing, and it’s Christmas, there’s no hotels with free rooms to take me.” He took a breath before finishing quickly. “Can I just stay here for the next week or so until we find a flat?” I huffed out a laugh.                                                                                                                   “Austin of course you can. You seem so nervous though, did you really think I was going to kick you out onto the streets?” Austin picked up his fork again.                                                                                                                  “Well you never know.” He teased.

After dinner Austin forced me to sit down and let him do the washing up, even though he had cooked the dinner. My back was killing me, so I was grateful to sit down, but I felt immensely guilty. I shuffled into the sofa then feeling bad Austin would have to sleep here for the next week. No, he could take my bed, I would sleep here. I heard him turn off the kitchen tap and come and join me on the sofa.                                                                                                                                                                                                     “You’re making that face again.”                                                                                                                                                           “What face?” I asked.                                                                                                                                                                             “The confused guilty one.”                                                                                                                                                                 “Oh, I was just thinking how you should have the bed and I’ll sleep out here. You’re too tall to even lay down properly on this.”                                                                                                                                                                  “Lottie, what kind of man would I be if I made a pregnant woman give up her bed for me.”                    Well when he put it like that. I thought for a moment more.                                                                                                               “Just sleep with me then.” I stated. “We can just share. My bed is big enough.”                                                                   “Okay.” He chuckled.

I went to bed earlier than I had in a long time that night. Normally my flat was so cold this time of year and I would bundle in many layers in bed. But with Austin there I didn’t need to. He shuffled slightly closer towards me. “Goodnight Lottie. Thanks for sharing your bed with me.” He closed his eyes and smiled. We went to sleep, warm and comfortable.

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694211341565755392?source=share)

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694320145807572992?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Three

(If the spacing is weird it’s because of Word and I don’t know how to fix it. Also I am posting two parts right now because I have a lot backed up; this is a long fanfiction.)

When Monday rolled around, I was early to my appointment and sat in the waiting room. I hadn’t spoken to Austin since the phone call. The receptionist called my name; he still wasn’t there. I rose with a shaky sigh. Okay, this was fine, I’d never expected eager involvement anyways, but he had said he would be there. It was okay, I wasn’t trying to hold a gun to his head with all my expectations, I was just excited for a happy healthy baby. With or without a father in their life.

I sat down on the examination table and rubbed my clammy hands together. “No one with you, sweetheart?” the kind-faced doctor asked me. I just quietly shook my head. She smiled politely. “So, this is your 12-week scan?” I nodded. “Okay so we are going to be able to hear your baby’s heartbeat today, and maybe see some arms and legs. Sound good?” I again nodded my head quietly. Then he burst through the door. “Austin!” I scolded quietly. He looked to me and smiled shyly. “Shit, sorry I’m late, I was at work.” I looked to what he was wearing. A black sheer lace top, with just one button done up, high waisted trousers, and bright pink socks. His hair was gelled back with one strand falling forward, and now he really did have eyeliner on. He looked like a rockstar.

Austin’s phone started ringing, flashing up with “Baz”. “Oh for fucks sake.” He muttered before switching his phone off.

“Austin, if this appointment was in the way of your work, you should have told me. I would have changed it.” I said quietly. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, resecuring the lone strand with the rest. “Well, I didn’t want to cause you any hassle when I could just take my lunch early.” He answered sweetly. The doctor silently nodded to a seat next to the table for Austin to sit in. His knee began bouncing as the doctor layered gel on my stomach and switched on the screen.                                                                                                                         “So, as I said to Lottie, Mr Green,” I interrupted her, “Oh he’s not my, we’re not together.” Austin smiled smally. “Oh, I am sorry to have assumed. So today,” she paused. “Austin.” He filled in. “Austin, we’re taking a look at the baby’s heartbeat mainly and we may be able to see some limbs.” He bit his lip contemplatively and nodded. His leg hadn’t stopped bouncing.

The doctor fiddled with some buttons and hooked up a probe, but I was only looking to Austin. His eyes were cast down to the floor and the poor boy was still shaking like a leaf. I could see his phone was flashing again, silently now in his pocket. “Okay so here we can see the head.” He sat up and stared at the screen in wonder. “And this sound here is the heartbeat.” A quiet chugging noise started coming out of the machine. Austin inhaled. “Jeez.” I whispered. “Okay I am just going to leave that on as I take some routine measurements.” The doctor told us. I looked to Austin, “Jeez.” he mouthed with a smile, his eyes shining. He swiped a finger over his eye. I smiled. “Okay everything with baby looks good and right. How many pictures would you like?”                                                “Two, please.”                                                                                                          “You can collect them from the desk, where you should make your next appointment. Just keep doing what you’re doing Lottie, take care of yourself.”      “I will, thank you doctor.” I said as I got up to leave. Austin offered me a hand down from the table.                                                                                                “Yes, thank you very much, doctor.” he said, his voice a bit choked up.                                                                                                                                      

We left the examination room together and I pulled Austin towards the reception desk. “May I please have the scan pictures for Lottie Green and to book my next appointment.”                                                                                                          “Yes of course, here are the pictures from today.” The receptionist handed over the pictures to me and Austin got his wallet out, taking out a card.                         “What are you doing?” I asked quietly. “Uh, I was gonna pay.” he said. I chuckled, “We don’t pay for the doctors here.” He lightly blushed then just slipped his wallet back into his pocket. The receptionist turned a screen around to face us. “These are the next available appointments.” She explained. I nudged Austin. “Pick one that works for you, so you don’t have to miss your lunch again.” He nodded gratefully and told the receptionist the appointment that worked best. Next Wednesday at five. I wrote it on my hand. “Okay, we will see you then.” And then we left.

In the clinic carpark, he stood facing me kind of awkwardly, like he wanted to say something. I waited. “Well, it is my actual lunch break.” he started, “Do you want to get lunch with me? Maybe talk through some things?” Since I had taken the day off, I was free for the rest of the day. “Yeah, sure that would be great.” Austin grinned then led me to his car. I was trying hard not to look at his practically fully exposed chest. As we approached, he opened the door for me. I thanked him and got in the car. He walked round to the driver’s side and opened the door. I saw his phone start flashing again. “I’m sorry Lottie, but I have to take this.”          “It’s completely fine.” I reassured.

I busied myself on my phone for the five minutes Austin was on the phone. He was pacing in front of the car. When he eventually got into the car, it was with a sigh. I restrained myself from asking what the call was about because realistically, I hardly knew the guy. “What would you like to eat?” he asked mildly, he looked stressed out. I didn’t want to cause him any trouble. “Whatever’s your favourite?” I returned. He nodded, switched on the radio, and started driving.

It was in the silence of the drive I couldn’t help myself. “What was the phone call about?” He paused thoughtfully at the question. “It was my boss, trying to get me to come back to the studio.”                                                                                    “Studio?”                                                                                                                  “Yes, I am an actor. We were halfway through rehearsing a scene when I left to come here,” he motioned to his clothes. “This is just a costume.” I nodded. I’d forgotten he was an actor. I had thought the clothes were a bit out there for normal work attire. After a pause he asked, “So now you know what I do, I have to ask what you do.”                                                                                                “My job is nothing as close to as interesting as your job is. I work an office job and sit in front of a screen all day. It is incredibly boring.” Austin hummed to show he was listening. “I had always promised myself I would have a job I loved but it has just never worked out that way.”                                                             “I get what you mean, I’ve always loved acting, but I’ve never been in a project as important to me as this one until now.” The car stopped in front of small café that wasn’t too busy. It looked cute. “Shall we?” he asked. I nodded.

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694210143460671488?source=share)

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694229805341835264?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake - Part Two

(Second part of this fanfiction, sorry it wasn’t uploaded before I was on holiday.) 

For the next month I got really into my pregnancy, I was still being sick and I was yet to show or tell anyone but I had had my first scan and I was all in. However, I couldn’t get over the fact He didn’t know. I had started calling him He in my head because saying Austin had made me feel even worse about not telling him. I could not say the amount of times my finger had hovered over the send button but I just couldn’t. Not for something like this. It was too important. While I was still completely terrified and not trying to get my hopes up in such early days (PSA they were as high as a kite) this baby was a miracle to me already. After having a difficult time accepting motherhood was something I would never experience it was an inconceivable, extremely happy shock. And while I expected nothing from him, I still felt He had a right to know.

I devised a plan. I wrote a carefully crafted letter, stuck in an envelope, and got on a train to the club I went to over a month ago. In the daytime it looked to be a restaurant. I walked in the surrounding areas, no idea where he had taken me that night, but only knowing it hadn’t been far. Eventually I found the hotel building, I recognized the lobby. I walked in as confidently as I could in attempts to not look lost or suspicious, straight to the lift and jammed the top floor button, because all rich people stay on the top floor right?

Thankfully there was just one door on the top floor, I approached to put the letter through the letter box, but there literally wasn’t one. “Shit,” I whispered. So I did the next best thing I could think of and started trying to slip it under the door. However, it was quite bulky what with a waffling extract about why I was keeping the baby, how he didn’t have to be involved at all, how I just thought he should know, a scan picture so he might actually believe me, ect. I guess I must have gotten quite frustrated and loud with my swearing in the end as I tried to jam it through the small space, that I heard footsteps coming to the door. I jolted up from the floor as the door opened and I saw him.

His blond hair now jet black and looking at me with brow furrowed. “Can I help you?” he asked standoffishly. Jeez what to say right now. I looked to my shoes. “I’ve come to give you a letter.”                                                                                “Okay?” he replied, “So why didn’t you just leave it in the mailbox?” He pointed to the metal box attached to the wall. Oh for god’s fucking sake. “Oh well its just kind of important.” I covered, meeting his gaze. His face changed from annoyance to confusion, then back to annoyance. “I know you.” He accused. “You do?” I asked sweetly. “Yes, I do, you’re that girl from the club that just left without a trace. Quite rude if I have to say, I was going to make breakfast.” While I did agree what I did was kind of rude I didn’t think a big actor would think one girl leaving him was that deep. “Now what do you want?”                                      I sighed, “To just give you this letter is all.”                                                              “And is this letter worth reading?”                                                                          “Well like I said it is kind of important. To me at least.” He let out a non-committal grunt and I turned on my heel ready to leave. The whole point of this plan was to have not seen him unless he actually wanted to be involved.                                                                                                                                                              “I’ll give it a read.” I got into the lift.

                                                           ~~~

When I got home, I just stared at my phone. I’d left my number and address on the letter thinking if he wanted to be involved, he’d call. I didn’t move, I just watched and waited, I could have been sat there for hours or maybe only ten minutes. But when my phone rung, I answered on the first ring. His voice sounded through the phone. “Hi this is Austin,” he sniffed loudly, “That shit just made me cry.” His tone so sweet in comparison to that of two hours ago. He let out a small chuckle and I copied. “So what do you think?” I asked meekly.            “Babe, you do whatever you feel’s best, and if you let me, I gonna be there.” I felt myself blush, I was surprised at how openly genuine he was being. “Can I come to the next scan please?” Gosh he was being for real.                                   “Yeah, sure it’s next Monday, 11 o’clock. The address of the place is on the scan picture.”                                                                                                              “Okay that should be fine. I’ll be there.” Then we politely ended the call. I exhaled; I was just in disbelief at how well he had taken it. How he had believed me! From as much as I knew about this Austin Butler, which really was very little, he was still able to come across as an alright bloke. Calmed by the fact he finally knew and maybe just the fact anyone knew, I slept easy for the first time in weeks.

(Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/693111922062770176?source=share)

(Next part: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694211341565755392?source=share)

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

the louisiana hayride bits were...

[iloveaustinbutlerlol]

The Unmistake

(This is the starting part of what I hope to be a long Austin Butler fanfiction. Nothing very hot and heavy, just sweet. I have more to post and will if anybody reads this.)

Part One

It was a Wednesday and most things tended to go wrong on Wednesdays.

I was sitting at my desk and not focusing on my screen. I’d been having a shitty day, week, jeez even year and I intended to break the cycle. Tomorrow was my day off, so tonight I was going out. I didn’t really know where, but definitely out. I watched the clock on my computer turn to 5:45 then switched it off. I was leaving.

When I returned home, delayed by the rush hour rat race, I put on appropriate club attire, took two shots of vodka for good luck, then called an uber. I was determined to be in that club as quickly as I could, storming through the October night. The music was blasting, I nodded my head along despite the fact I didn’t recognise the song. I walked to the bar. “One double vodka lemonade.” When the bartender returned, I sipped my drink quietly, waiting. And what I was waiting for certainly didn’t take long to come.

He was tall, blond, pinched lips. “One shot of Bailey’s.” Gosh, his voice was deep, but American. Slightly Southern maybe? I couldn’t be sure. “Thank you.” He said as he took the glass from the bartender. He turned towards me. “Jeez.” I muttered. He smirked and took a step towards me. I looked down into my drink, hoping he hadn’t heard me, the lime and ice suddenly becoming quite intriguing. “Jeez,” he quietly chuckled. “Austin.” He said holding his hand out to me. “Lottie.” I returned taking his hand, it was warm but not clammy and he had a large ring emblazoned with the letters AB. The gesture was oddly formal considering there were people practically shagging about 12 meters away from us. “Short for Charlotte?” “No just Lottie.” I offered a small smile which he returned. “Wanna dance?” Well if that led to at least a hot make-out sesh then jeez, yes. Thankfully, I only thought that and just gave him an affirmative nod in reality.

He placed his hand gently on the small of my back as he led me to the dancefloor. Again, the song playing was so loud it was unintelligible, just the thumping drum and bass in a club surprisingly busy for a Wednesday night. As we danced tightly to one another, I kept catching glimpses of faces I recognized. I was 99% sure the bloke dancing next to me had been on Love Island like two years ago. And that woman standing at the bar looked oddly like a singer, but I couldn’t place a name. Jeez maybe the vodka had got to me. Everything did seem a bit hazy.

Austin, perhaps noticing my furrowed brow, said “What you looking at honey, look at me.” And was I glad to. His eyes were piercing blue, with framing eyelashes so thick he could have had eyeliner on. Maybe he did? I smiled and leant in, fuck it he was fit. Thankfully, I did not get swerved and we kissed sweetly for a few seconds before he deepened the kiss. He dragged his hand up my back pulling our bodies flush. He tasted of alcohol. I ran my hands through his hair, thick and soft, and he smiled into the kiss. I pulled away and we continued dancing, but I could see it in his eye now, he wanted to get me out of there.

He waited until the end of the song to suggest it and I eagerly agreed. An easy shag with a fit guy was all I’d wanted out of tonight. Linking our fingers, he guided me to the exit of the club. The night air hit me in the face, but Austin assured it wasn’t too far to his flat. We walked through the dead streets fingers linked til I realized they still were and dropped them. Austin glanced down at his dropped hand but made no comment.

“Just here.” He said and I followed him through the entrance into a pretty fancy lobby, then to the lift. I giggled, maybe he was rich. “What you smiling about?” he smirked. “Nothing.” He closed the gap between us and pressed his lips against mine. Tongue grazing my lower lip. The lift dinged, top floor. He smiled as he grabbed my hand again.

To be honest I was surprised we made it down the hallway, I’d barely drunk anything, yet I was swaying, and he was laughing as he fumbled with the keys. When we finally did make it inside, he threw the door shut and led me through the dark. Streetlights cast shadows through the room as we kissed, but I could tell he was getting riled up and I was too. So, I fucked the fit guy.

                                                         ~~~~                        

The first thing I realized was I was hot. Unreasonably hot. I opened my eyes to a face a centimeter away from mine. I vaguely recognised him as the bloke from last night. He was radiating heat like a hot water bottle. Looking down to my naked body, I was happy for yesterday’s Lottie but pissed off for today’s. I had no idea where I was, and I wanted to get out of there. Quietly, I found my assortment of clothes flung across the room and exited the bedroom. I walked in the direction I hoped the front door was and made my way. A glance at myself in a mirror in his hallway caused me to grimace. I flicked my hair for a few seconds in fruitless attempts before swiftly leaving his flat. I just wanted to get home and shower.

I did feel a bit bad for just completely leaving this guy, but I wasn’t looking for anything like that. I didn’t have the time nor energy for a boyfriend. After about half an hour and a lot of swearing at stupid cancelling Uber drivers, I made it home and got that shower. I went to work the following day and for the next fortnight. In all honesty I had mostly forgotten about the fit American from the club.

Scrolling aimlessly through the news on my phone on a Sunday night, an article showed up announcing a new biopic coming out. Jeez, another one. This one was about Elvis and while I was not an avid fan, I mean come on, who doesn’t like Elvis. I clicked to read more, and a photo sprung up of the actor playing him. Piercing blue eyes and eyelashes so thick it looked like he was wearing….          Oh gosh, it was that guy from the other night. ‘To be played by Austin Butler’ it read. I strained my memory; I think he had said his name was Austin. Well, that was pretty cool to sleep with a professional actor, I thought. But I soon got bored and clicked off, away from Austin Butler, and went on to forget about him again for another two weeks.

If it wasn’t for my mother, I doubt I would have noticed anything until much later, nor remembered Austin Butler, but I was visiting her on a Wednesday night and staying round for dinner. I had been so busy at work the past month that I hadn’t had the opportunity to visit. For dessert she’d made meringues for eat and mess.                                                                                                                       “Oh yes thanks mum I’ve been craving your meringues so much lately.” I started scoffing the generous helping she’d given me. “I craved meringues so much when I was pregnant with you, darling.” She said in the absent-minded way mothers can. I only nodded, more focused on my eat and mess. “It really was the only thing I ever did crave the whole time, but I know many other women crave many different much weirder things.” I just nodded along mindlessly.

When I was a child, I was mostly indifferent to my mother’s eat and mess but for the past three days it was the only food I thought about. In my weekly shopping I’d even bought meringues in attempts to recreate it at home, but it just hadn’t compared. Weird. Maybe it had been some sign I’d not seen her for a while. On the tube home a notification pinged up on my phone, from one of those period tracker apps she’d told me to download. ‘Late period?’ it read, ‘This may signify you are 1. Pregnant 2. Under a lot of stress …’ It continued on. I switched my phone off. It was only a couple of days late, I thought, plus my periods were always irregular. The doctors had told me that this likely meant I would struggle to ever have children. What they were saying in sugar-coated doctors terms was; I was practically infertile. I closed my eyes in attempts to hide from the awful screeching noise of the tube as it pulled into my station. I got off and walked home, happy it was my day off tomorrow.

 I woke up the next morning to yet another notification from the period app. Jeez, could it leave off. On my day off as well. ‘This may signify you are 1. Pregnant …’ My eyes circled in on that word: pregnant, as a sour sickening taste rose in my mouth. I gagged and rushed to the toilet and chucked my guts out in the bowel. I was never sick, not even when I was drunk. Then it hit me like a slap to the fucking face. “Oh shit.” I whispered before gagging over the toilet again.

One hour later, after throwing up so much I didn’t think it was even humanly possible, I was on my way to the chemist. In my baggy jogging bottoms and my hair as bird’s nest, I must have looked a right state. Shoulders hunched in the hopes of being inconspicuous, though realistically who was going to recognize me, I shuffled over to the pregnancy test. I gulped, there was a lot. “Best to buy Clearblue honey,” the old lady called from behind the counter. I gave her the politest smile I could manage at that moment, picking up two just in case, paying and then scurrying home.

Those five minutes where the longest of my life, but I knew the answer before I even picked up the bloody stick. All those things I had thought since age fourteen had been proven wrong. I could be a mum. I swiped the tear lining my eye. Was it the best time for me to become one? No definitely not, but I just thought as this might be my only opportunity ever to be, I was going to take it.

I sat down on my bathroom floor and cried for a good 45 minutes. Happy tears, but then I started panicking. The only person I had slept with recently was the American. Oscar, Austin, something like that. I didn’t even have his number. He was rich though wasn’t he, I remembered the fancy hotel. He was an actor! Shit that was right. I grabbed my phone and looked him up. Thankfully I found him pretty easily. Austin Butler. Being an absolute intellectual that I was I looked him up on Instagram. Jeez what to do now though. Can’t really slide into a guy’s Instagram dm’s, who you left without so much as leaving a note, saying he was most definitely the father of your unborn child. Bear in mind he might not even see it, I’m pretty sure celebrities don’t check their dm’s especially ones from random girls saying that they’re pregnant with their baby. I left it.

(Second part here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/iloveaustinbutlerlol/694210143460671488?source=share I don’t know if that’s helpful.)