im-an-assho1e

[im-an-assho1e]

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid

[im-an-assho1e]

ometimes i want to have sex with a woman

[im-an-assho1e]

breasts is a weird term I’m one thousand percent okay saying boobs or tits but breasts just feels weird on my tongue

[im-an-assho1e]

Someone expressing a vague interest in Mass Effect vs me explaining every bit of lore I've ever learned

[im-an-assho1e]

When you've already read all the good fanfics

[im-an-assho1e]

The United Kingdom just been downgraded on the global index of civic freedoms due to it's "Hostile" and "Increasingly authoritarian" actions.

I live in the UK. And I found this out by factchecking a green peace ad. As of now this story was posted 16 hours ago and I've not heard one person talk about this.

Our government is officially recognised as repressing civic freedoms and undermining human rights. If you're still proud to be brittish then fuck you tory scum.

[im-an-assho1e]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[im-an-assho1e]

he looks so silly here tucked in under his jacket with it pulled all the way up to his neck. just a lil guy 

[im-an-assho1e]

Ghost is the kind of guy that if you ask him “hey can you hand me that” he’s gonna say “no” while handing it to you because he thinks its the funniest shit ever. 

[im-an-assho1e]

Told my friend I was replaying mass effect for the 4th time and she just sighed…this is it I’ve finally broke them

[im-an-assho1e]

I’m a firm believer that ghost leaves people on read like all the time… for absolutely no damn reason

Kinda like his stare but over text

SIDE EYE 👀👀

[im-an-assho1e]

To be fair i don’t think he looks bad he just needs some eyelashes and eyebrows and it wouldn’t look so odd

SOMEONE FOUND GHOST'S FACE MODEL WITHOUT THE MASK IN THE GAME FILES 💀💀💀💀

[im-an-assho1e]

[Ghost with OFC!Reader who has a toxic family] [p1 of ?]

A/N: straight up this is self indulgent/me projecting (like all my work is) bc it's comforting for me to imagine that I have someone to protect me from life bc wow this shit sucks. Not tagging anyone due to this potentially being triggering.

CW: toxic family dynamics, swearing, mental illness, simping, age gaps, definitely not professional, Ghost punches someone (let me know if there's anything else)

~

Now I don't even have to say that Simon is extremely sensitive when it comes to family, especially since he himself grew up in a toxic environment. He knows the signs because they're the signs he saw in his day to day life.

He knew something was up when you never want to go home when breaks come, any young Rookie is usually bouncing off the walls to go see their loved ones but you? You almost look depressed at the thought. Ghost may tell people he has a cold heart, but not when it comes to you. You wormed your way into his chest next to that said cold heart and now he can't help but worry. You're too young to have probably been in a place on your own, so no choice but to go back to the family home. He was in your shoes once, he too had joined the military to find a way out.

Ghost doesn't speak to people off duty, never has but things have changed. You, Soap, Gaz, Price? You all are the closest thing he will ever have to a family again, so against his better and usual judgment, he asks you if you'd like to stay with him at one of his safe houses.

"Runt, do you....for fucks sake, do you want to come back with me? Stay with me until our next mission."

"Oh! No, I'm fine Ghost, I'm alright to go home."

A smile on your lips but it doesn't reach your eyes. He feels his own turn down into a grimace.

"Teds, stop the shit for a second, yeah? I see that look on your face, you don't want to go back there."

He rests a skeleton glove covered hand on your shoulder, caressing the skin there with a thumb graze.

"I don't want to be a bother.'"

"You're never a bother sweetheart, c'mon then."

~

Staying with Ghost is, different to say the least. He takes you to his home in Manchester and goddamn the place is barely lived in, the only place that look used is his kitchen. He really lets you have free reign of the place, the only room not allowed is his bedroom. Not because he doesn't trust you rather it's just a personal thing.

Overtime the place filled with little traces of you, your hair ties liter the counters and tables, your laughter in the other room while you scroll on your phone. Hearing your footsteps run to area of the house so you can show him said video, the groceries you buy once you learn Ghost solely lives off of take out.

"Are you serious?"

"I work out to balance it."

"Ghost-"

It warms his chest to see you show so much concern over him, a man 6'4 who could easily snap your neck. He rustles your hair with a deep chuckle.

You try and not encroach on his space but he finds that he likes it. He likes seeing your shoes next to his at the doorway, he likes seeing you cook in his kitchen, he likes seeing you wake up groggy with crust in your eyes. He loves it all. Though he'd never admit it.

You make his house, now his home feel so much warmer and brighter. You insist on catching him up to the newest movies and shows, forcing him to sit down next to you to watch the newest Marvel movie while he pretends he hates it. He makes jokes in between that he could do better than that and that if he were there, he'd just put a bullet between the enemies eyes.

Seeing you fall asleep on his shoulder brings a peace to him, his arm around your shoulders as you nuzzle in closer. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve you. But he's gonna pretend he does, just for a little while longer.

~

Imagine his surprise when he meets your family for the first time. You had wanted to go home and get some things to bring back to his place so he came with you on a flight since he knows you don't care for air travel by yourself.

Ghost was used to his presence scaring people and warding people off. He knows how to keep people in line, its been his job for as long as he could care to remember. So he wasn't expecting them to treat you so horribly in front of him. Really, what'd they expect to happen. First mistake.

It's such a stark contrast you are in this place, from base, the field, to the woman in front of him. You curl into yourself, hands cracking in your hoodie pockets as you sit there and just take it, waiting for a break so you can speak. You're not looking at him or even making an attempt to talk back.

Ghost knows you're grown, he knows it's not his place but he feels his blood pressure get higher and higher as they scream and belittle you for things out of your control, your looks, your weight, telling to come back home, to leave the military, anything and everything under the sun. Second mistake. He can feel his knuckles turn a stark white under his gloves and it isn't until your sibling gets up in your face with a hand raised that he springs into action. Third mistake. Ghost is a big man, but he moves fast and unexpectedly.

Before he registered it, your sibling is on the floor clutching their stomach after being gut punched. He hears them heaving while trying to curse him out, looking up with him with hatred. Simon wants to take his heavy steel toed boot and kick the fuckers face. Hell, he wants to beat the ever living shit out of every single person in this fucking house. To think they can treat you like this? Over his dead body.

He hears your parents screaming about how dare he and that he's fucking insane but when he turns to look around at you, he sees you staring up at him with tear filled eyes and a whisper of thank you. In that moment he knows, he knows he'd do just about anything for you. He shoots a withering glare at your parents

"We're taking her shit and leaving." He barks out, his eyes burning a hole in their heads while they shakily nod and avoid looking at either of you.

Ghost grabs your hand and leads you towards your bedroom where he grabs anything he can bag and helps you stuff all your belongings into it, making sure you have everything until the room is completely cleared out.

Shuffling the bags on his arms, he holds your hand again and intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you out the house and towards the rental truck. Not taking one glance at the so called family watching you two.

"You're staying with me from now on, got it runt?"

The smile on your face is so bright when you say "Of course, L.T."

-

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

[im-an-assho1e]

i’ve just seen a ghost (MW2) smut called ghostbusters and it’s singlehandedly the greatest title i’ve ever seen i’ve been laughing about it for 5mins

[im-an-assho1e]

happy Thursday the 20th

[im-an-assho1e]

anguscloud ✔︎:

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎ : lord how did i get so lucky 😍

february 5, 2022

2,746,846 likes | 1,746,833 comments

user1: 😍😍

user21: gorgeous 🥰

yourinstagram ✔︎: i ask myself that every single day 🤨

anguscloud ✔︎: i am now screaming crying

throwing up

user4: when is it my turn to be happy

user: imma go jump off my roof

user10: the only reason i'm alive is because of this couple

user5: she's so ugly 🤮

user25: imma need you to log out for me

user47: i know you ain’t talking with your crusty looking ass face

yourinstgram ✔︎:

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺✔︎: i love free tattoos 😍 (and angus to ig 🙄)

february 5, 2022

2,847,837 likes | 1,938,080 comments

𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿𝟮𝟯: she's just using him 🙄

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: babes it's a joke

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: do you always have to be so mean

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: yes

𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿𝟭𝟬: why do i have a feeling she acts all mean on social media but is so soft in real life

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: shes cuddling me as i type

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: lies lies and more lies

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: you want me to post the pictures??

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: blocked.

[im-an-assho1e]

anguscloud ✔︎:

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎ : lord how did i get so lucky 😍

february 5, 2022

2,746,846 likes | 1,746,833 comments

user1: 😍😍

user21: gorgeous 🥰

yourinstagram ✔︎: i ask myself that every single day 🤨

anguscloud ✔︎: i am now screaming crying

throwing up

user4: when is it my turn to be happy

user: imma go jump off my roof

user10: the only reason i'm alive is because of this couple

user5: she's so ugly 🤮

user25: imma need you to log out for me

user47: i know you ain’t talking with your crusty looking ass face

yourinstgram ✔︎:

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺✔︎: i love free tattoos 😍 (and angus to ig 🙄)

february 5, 2022

2,847,837 likes | 1,938,080 comments

𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿𝟮𝟯: she's just using him 🙄

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: babes it's a joke

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: do you always have to be so mean

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: yes

𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗿𝟭𝟬: why do i have a feeling she acts all mean on social media but is so soft in real life

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: shes cuddling me as i type

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: lies lies and more lies

𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱 ✔︎: you want me to post the pictures??

𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 ✔︎: blocked.