immnldscrts

[immnldscrts]

are we allowed to feel good even though we've done shitty things in our lives?

rewatching bojack horseman (for the nth time already cause duh what better way to deflect on your own debilitating mental health than to watch an anthropomorphic horse also deflect on his debilitating mental health) and it got me thinking of this question. are we allowed to feel good even though, and admittedly, we've done so much shitty and horrible things in our lives?

this is not a therapy session so i won't dwell on the things that i've done that i can consider shitty. but let's just say that i've done A LOT of it. and when i say A LOT, i mean A LOT. i'm not a good person, but who's to say, right? aren't we just a product of our environment? the product of our parents who made us their emotional trauma dump that we are now an accumulation of generational trauma and abuse? do you really blame the tree on how it grew or do you check the soil because of how the tree has grown? but in the meantime, Kielhofner was right. that even though we became who we are because of external forces, we still have the power of volition. we, as rational beings, have the ability to choose, to decide the best course of action based on our cognitions. so if that's the case, we are equally and morally fucked up because of what we decided to do and also because of what the environment that surrounds us forced us to do. so now we go back to the question, are we still allowed to feel good about ourself from time to time even though we know for ourselves that we've done and will probably still do shitty things in our lives?

let's take bojack as an example. he was raised by two parents who clearly didn't want him to exist in the first place. he grew up loathing himself so much that it made impossible for him to build up healthy relationships with other people. he constantly burns every bridge before he even crosses it. he's an alcoholic and a drug addict that caused the death of his former colleague. he slept with said colleague even though said colleague was already all over the place because of her drug addiction and explicit daddy issues. he used her former agent, slept with her, and constantly made her feel useless resulting in a trauma that seeped within her soul. he made advances to a minor. he cheated on every person he's been with. all of that and still he find ways to feel good about himself. all of that and he stood firm on his principles and doesn't let all the shitty things he's done ruin his vibes.

i'm not saying that we should all be like bojack. that we should just wait for the time that we will be held accountable for all the messed up things that we've done. he's still a royally fucked up asshole who deserves all the consequences of his actions. but still, he's still a living being wanting and needing companionship and love. he still deserves to find happiness, right? yes it sounds so fucking problematic but i've known A LOT of people who have also done A LOT of shitty things in their life--may it be a secret or exposed to the public--and i still see the gleam of optimism in their eyes and their smiles. we can't punish people for the things they've done that they already acknowledged. we can't force them to isolate themselves from the world and never return. we are not Gods. we are incapable of handing out justice even to those who really deserves it.

my point is, we are all allowed to feel good about ourselves even though we did shitty things in our lives. but we shouldn't be ascertain that we won't be judged by the people around us. we need to be held accountable and we need to face all of the consequences of it. we still need to uphold moral principles as to make sure that even though we feel good about certain things in our lives, we're still humans capable of making mistakes. and those mistakes have their respective prices that we have to pay.

(this is not an excuse for those people to feel good about doing the shitty things that they did. this is for feeling good once in a while even though you know for a fact you're a shitty person. and also, this doesn't include fascists, rapists, murderers, and the sorts.)

[immnldscrts]

4 Reasons Why You Should Make Vanilla Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavor

You can add anything to it without ruining its flavor.

It's plain. It's white. You can literally add anything to it and it will retain its simplistic flavor. The texture will remain the same, but just with a pizzazz of what other flavor you might like to add to it! At first, I was not really fond of vanilla because, its ice cream! It's supposed to burst into a myriad of flavors in one fell swoop inside the crevices of your mouth. But the moment I made time to savor vanilla ice cream on its own, I realized that it offers more than the lack of other distinct taste. It reminds you of things that came before. It gives you a glimpse of a much more simpler somber slice of life. It's not tangy nor extra sweet. It's... as it is.

Speaking of sweetness, it has the right amount to not give you a diabetes!

Who am I to kid though? Ice cream is at the top of the list to avoid especially when you're at risk of a disease that can alter the course of your life. But who cares right? We're at the brink of an irreversible climate change and the world is literally burning in front of us. People are dying everywhere because of wars waged by egoistic maniacs hungry for control and power. The animals are slowly decreasing in numbers because humans can't think of anything else besides satisfying their primal hunger to hunt animals regardless of their use and destroy their habitats for their own satisfaction. The world as we know it is nearing its end so why bother? Allow yourself to enjoy a pint or two of that semi-sweet vanilla ice cream, topped with fruits available at hand and go watch society spiral down while beating the heat of the glaring sun!

You can add it to any alcoholic drinks! (well not all, but to some!)

Are you already self-deprecating because your life lacks direction and you have nowhere else to go? Are you seemingly unsatisfied by how everything turned out even though you calculated every minute detail as to not make a mistake? Do you loathe yourself so much to the point that you make every reckless and indecisive move that you know because nothing really matters anymore and you're not afraid of the consequences of it? Have you already given up on life that you'll willingly let someone murder you as you walk alone at night or be shot on sight by mad lunatic? Go get yourself a nice big glass and buy yourself the most expensive cream liqueur that you can buy and a big tub of vanilla ice cream, crush some ice and some chocolate bars, gather your inner cogitations and, voila! You can now hate yourself while enjoying a big glass of alcoholic beverage!

You can share it to your friends regardless of their different takes on what the best ice cream flavor there is!

Ice cream, or food in general, is best enjoyed when you share it with other people! Regardless if they prefer rocky road, or mint chocolate chip, or citrus-flavored ice cream. They'll love vanilla either way! Vanilla ice cream is the Switzerland of all the ice cream! It offers you nothing but it gives you everything. It doesn't alienate but beckons the thought that there is nothing out there better than a simple semi-sweet ice cream that is vanilla. It keeps you grounded to the reality that life is at it is. That semi-sweet plain taste of vanilla ice cream is a metaphor on how you are with people. You please everyone so that they'll accept you. You are generally liked but only a handful of people love you. You won't be better, you won't be the best. You're only good enough. No hidden flavor, not exciting, not much to offer. But you try your best. You add certain theatrics to attract more attention but once they dig down enough they'll realize you're nothing special. You're just... good enough. So regardless on how you feel about yourself, you present and perform in the best possible way that you can because maybe someday, you'll be the favorite flavor of someone or somebody. And maybe, you'll finally feel that it's okay to be just good enough.

[immnldscrts]

moonhead

i am now officially using art as a creative space to vent out my frustrations in life

[immnldscrts]

"no skeletons inside her closet"

just realized that i have procreate in my ipad. was bored so i decided to create this horrendous masterpiece of mine.

LET! FASCISTS! BLEED! WITH! A! THOUSAND! CUTS!