in-state-of-eunoia - Tumblr blog

[in-state-of-eunoia]

“if it needs to be forced into alignment for you to find it, then it probably isn’t looking for you either. what’s for you will feel more like silk and less like resistance.”

— iambrillyant

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Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body//Gabriela Mistral, from a letter to Doris Dana c. April 1949, translated by Velma García-Gorena

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"Melancholy and Joy are lovers and I reside in the chaos of their union." -Unknown

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making mistakes and how it helped me accept myself

Self-discovery.

A journey of oneself to understand and determine their truest form of purpose and calling as they navigate through life.

The transitional years of being a teen to being an adult can be problematic at times. It would feel as if you're on a rollercoaster ride. Although, I haven't rode an actual one yet, this was my case.

As a teen, I've always wanted to steer in finding the satisfaction for my cravings of enjoyment and affection. I always look for Fun. Parties. Friends. Assurance. Happiness. and Love. I consider these as one of the great things that makes me keep on living.

But as they say, "There's always a price for everything in life".

Enjoyment and Affection. I get to experience these things from time to time. I love going to parties, especially with family and friends. On these moments, my emotions are always just at its positive peak. Wild. and Carefree. It's nice to temporarily forget your woes and misery sometimes. Although these parties are free, I still pay the price for these things as the memories of it always live in my mind, rent free. The confusing feeling of being so alive when you're at the party, but when you go home, you'd always feel the emptiness. why is it constantly there? and how can I free myself from it?

The anxiety of what other people had thought of you, how you presented yourself, how your dressed up, how your face looked when you were posing at cameras, how you overthink everything when they're just simple things that you shouldn't be worried of. All these things clog up your mind once you get home. The worries of how I should flaunt myself and my emotions accordingly, which must always conform with their standards, and as it blissfully became my responsibility, to please other people.

I noticed that these decisions I must conform to were actually not controlled solely by myself. Instead, it was by my peers and all the people I met throughout my life. I allowed myself to unconsciously be dependent on what these people think of me, as I sometimes blame myself for falling short. They converted my mind into my own prison that only I could discharge myself from. I became very careful in all the things that I do so that I couldn't trespass the vicinity of where their standards are far from.

This consciousness was a turning point. I was afraid and wasn't brave enough to let myself venture out into different things, different emotions and decisions.

These events have made me change my perception of how I view myself and the people around me. Now, I think that we should allow ourselves to make mistakes as long as we can afford to because doing it later in life would cost us too much, especially as we become responsible adults. Mistakes could be of a great lesson to us as it would direct us into accepting ourselves and conceiving that our imperfection would still make us people. And to be reminded of our worthiness for love and respect despite our shortcomings.

5:58pm - 8/19/22

//angela//

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life finally feels challenging at last

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https://iglovequotes.net/

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https://iglovequotes.net/

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https://iglovequotes.net/

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https://iglovequotes.net/

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10.7.21 // Study week

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journal pages dedicated to my favorite band

The 1975

@the1975music

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when will I actually start a study blog?

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do u ever send smth in a chat thats not even risqué like “i luv salsa” but no one responds so u start overthinking it like…. maybe one of their parents died making salsa…… maybe they were all just talking abt how they hate salsa……. maybe salsa isnt evn real and they have no idea what im talking abt

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lying in bed and listening to comethru by jeremy zucker on a saturday night

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i feel like i have so much but i don't know how and where to pour it all out

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eunoia /juːˈnɔɪ.ə/

: state of normal mental health or having a well balanced mind that exhibits goodwill and kindness

: derivates from an ancient Greek word that literally translates to

"beautiful thinking"

possessing this state of mind would be the goal of my lifetime