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Ichigo, to Uryu: The only time we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay.

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Mayuri, in a rage, after Nemu is injured: MY BABY GIRL! Akon: Captain NO! Mayuri: CAPTAIN YES!

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Bazz B: I have returned dumbass. Renji: It's Renji. Bazz B: Dumbass.

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Hiyori: What's wrong with me, huh?! You don't like me?! Shinji: I like you! Hiyori: Hiyori: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?

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Ginjo: Tsukishima, quit lurking! Tsukishima: I'm not lurking, I'm standing quietly in the shadows. Giriko: I'm lurking.

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Fujikujaku: Look, we didn't invite you guys to play cards because you two are always screaming at each other, and it makes everyone feel awkward! It makes Hyorinmaru faint, and sometimes it makes Wabisuke cry! Wabisuke: One time! I cried ONE time! Kazeshini: Six. Wabisuke: Six times! Tobiume: See? We fight so much even our friends don't want us around! Haineko: Hozukimaru's not my friend. I only tolerate Wabisuke. No one likes Fujikujaku. And Hyorinmaru is basically a pet.

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[ Jinta and Ururu screaming at each other ] Tessai: What are you fighting about? Jinta: We haven't decided yet.

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Rangiku: Attention everyone. SEX!! Now that I have your attention. Yumichika: You don't have our attention. Rangiku: MONEY! Shuhei: I'm listening. Renji: You had me at "sex". Rangiku: Pervert. Momo: You have our attention just by screaming anything. Rangiku: That's good to know. Rangiku: [ starts screaming ]

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Harribel: And where have you been? Mila Rose: ... No where. Harribel: How did you get so hurt? Mila Rose: Oh! We were... Hit... Sung Sun: By a... Apacci: Bus! Harribel: [ raises an eyebrow in suspicion ] Sung Sung, whispering: Hit by a bus?! Apacci, whispering: Well, what was I supposed to say? Meteor? Cow? Flying bulding?

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Tesla: Master Nnoitras biggest strength and greatest weakness is that he never shuts up.

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Ichigo: I never told her to go home! She was all "I'm going home! Stupid!" Uryu: That imitation was pathetic. Ichigo: I'm a soul reaper, not a comedian!

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Haschwalth: Okay, ladies. Let's start the day with a few math problems. What is 5X2? Come on ladies, don't be shy. Yes, Giselle? Giselle: 12? Haschwalth: Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete idiot. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy. Candice: I think I know the answer, Haschwalth! Bambietta: i ThInK i KnOw ThE aNsWeR, hAsChWaLtH! Candice: Shut up, Bambi! Bambietta: Don't tell me to shut up, you fucking bitch! Haschwalth: Bambietta! Did you just say the F word?! Bambietta: "Bitch"? Candice: No. He's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" you fucking idiot. Haschwalth: Candice! Bambietta: Why the fuck not? Hachwalth: Bambietta! Liltotto: Dude, you just said "fuck" again. Haschwalth: Liltotto! Meninas: Fuck. Haschwalth: Meninas!

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Kenpachi, battered, bruised, and bloody, with a grin on his face: You should see the other guy. Ichigo: [ completely unharmed but visibly shaken and traumatized ]

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Ichigo: These guys only understand one language. Ganju: Japanese? Ichigo: No. Fists. Ganju: What about feet? Ichigo, sighs: Yes. They understand feet. Ganju: Wouldn't that technically make them billingual? Ichigo: THE POINT IS, we can't go easy on them.

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Askin: Women are allowed to objectify me for free no questions asked.

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Rukia: Hey, I'm gonna need a place to sleep tonight, do you have an air mattress? Ichigo: Yes. Rukia: Great! You can sleep on the air mattress, and I'll sleep on your bed.

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Yuzu: So.. [ walks closer to Karin ] what do you do to keep people from messing with you? Karin: Get out of my face! Yuzu, backs up in fear: Sorry! Karin: No, that's what I do.