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#renji abarai
xkpzx · 2 days
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brittscafe · 2 days
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headcannons for how the bleach dudes (ichigo, uryuu, grimmjow, renji, and anyone else you wanna add) take care of their s/o thats on their period??
Ofcccc <3
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Ichigo:
So sweet and always runs to the store if you want any food, candy, or drinks. Anything, you name it and Ichigo will go it for you.
He always assures you that he'll get you anything and he always wants you to know that.
Endless cuddles and forehead kisses from Ichigo or just any type of kisses actually.
Will run you a hot bath if you want one and will keep your company and sit outside the tub beside you, holding your hand and stroking your shoulders.
After your bath, you'll cuddle up on his lap and watch movies.
He's really sweet and sympathetic towards you.
Uryu:
He's super shy when you're on your period and he's super cautious around you.
Very careful with his words and actions.
His words are very tender and sweet as he strokes your flesh, trying to comfort you.
Uryu almost too shy and is afraid to get too close to you as he doesn't want to upset you or anything.
Will hold your hand and squeeze it every once awhile.
Will play video games with you or do anything to distract you from your cramps.
Is the type to tickle you endlessly as you giggle until your out breathe.
Uryu is super sweet, but is still shy around you.
Grimmjow:
You're definitely on your own for the first few times.
Grimmjow stays far away from you as possible, because let's be honest, at first, he's a little disgusted, but he's got an idea in his head of how you're gonna act on your period.
Once you express to Grimmjow how periods work and stuff, he decides to spend a few days with you when you're on it.
He realizes that you being on your period isn't as bad as he thought it would be.
He sometimes gets annoyed with your mood swings or when you're complaining, but he tries to be nice.
Grimmjow will tease you, but his touches are not teasing at all.
His touches are soft and gentle, especially if you're in pain or aren't feeling too well.
Def makes you laugh and loves to spoon you until you fall asleep.
Renji:
Feel free to use Renji as your own personal heating pad.
Renji is super sympathetic and will massage any part of your body.
Feels really bad when your cramps hurt and he can see the pain on your face.
Likes to rest his head on your stomach and rub circles on your hips or the sides.
Will brush or play with your hair if you ask. Massages your scalp if you want him to.
Will raid candy from anybody and everybody if he needs to.
The moment you say that you're craving something, Renji leaps up and rushes to go get it.
Praises you with such sweet words and expresses how much he loves you.
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hello, congrats on one mil!! you mentioned (very) off handedly in the tags a long time ago that an au where renji was byakuya's sibling would be difficult because renji would want hugs and Kuchiki Do Not Hug. ever since ive been wondering: what exactly would it take for byakuya to give renji a hug? this is my prompt to you. any and all external influences are permissible but it has to be a real, proper hug. no side hugs allowed. bonus (infinite) points for rukia being somewhere in the mix.
I thought about this for 20 minutes and then just yes, and...'d my way through the rest of this. It was very fun! Hopefully someone else finds this half as funny as I did.
| read on ao3 | request guidelines |
❄️ ☃️ ❄️
"Hitsugaya here."
"Hello, Captain Hitsugaya, it is Captain Kuchiki."
"..."
"I am calling from Lieutenant Abarai's phone."
"Of course you are. What's up?"
"I have a question. What is the standard treatment for hypothermia?"
"...why are you asking?"
"When a person dives into very cold water, say, if they were chasing a semi-aquatic Hollow into a lake and the air temperature is below--"
"Kuchiki, how do you have Abarai's phone if he just jumped into a lake after a semi-aquatic Hollow?"
"Because he threw it at me and yelled 'call Rukia and ask her how to treat hypothermia, I'm sure she knows.'"
"But you didn't call Rukia."
"I did not. I would prefer if she did not find out that I let Abarai jump into a frozen lake. I did not mean to. He is very quick and also a bad listener. Hmm. The water is turning very red. Hollows do not usually have red blood. It would probably be a bad idea to jump in after him, don't you think? Then, we would both have hypothermia."
"Where are the two of you?"
"The thirty-first district of North Rukongai."
"Okay, that's too far away. (yes, it's your brother. no, everything is not fine. no, i think it's better if you let me talk to him.)"
"Is my sister there?"
"Yes, your sister is here."
"What are you doing with my sister, Hitsugaya Toushirou? She already has an official, family-approved suitor!"
"Does she, Kuchiki? Or does she have an official, family-approved popsicle? (no! no, stop grabbing! Matsumoto, some help please!)"
"Forget what I said earlier, he is coming out of the lake now. (Abarai! What is the limb situation? Ah, excellent, well done!) He even has all of his limbs. He does look rather pale and is shaking a lot, so perhaps we should get back to the hypothermia question."
"To be honest, I don't know that much about it. Usually I'm trying to freeze people to death. I only know what they teach in the decadal first aid refresher. Maybe you shouldn't have done that sleeping-with-your-eyes-open thing the last time we had--"
"Captain Hitsugaya, perhaps we could save the recriminations for later. Abarai is dying."
"Fine. I'm giving the phone to Rukia, who is here to work on her bankai, the same as every Tuesday afternoon. Kuchiki, tell your brother how to fix the hypothermia he gave your boyfriend."
"Brother!"
"Hello, Rukia! I would like to clarify, I did not 'give' Abarai hypothermia. He is very difficult to--"
"Stop talking, I know how he is. I am not holding you responsible. I only heard half the conversation, is he wet?"
"He dove into a lake, so yes."
"Okay, your first priority should be to dry him off."
"(Abarai, Rukia says you need to dry off. Yes, I know I have told you not to do that. Go ahead and do it. Just try not to get me--ugh! I told you not to--!")
"Is he trying to dry off by shaking himself like a dog? Don't let him do that!"
"It is surprisingly effective."
"It could also cause him to go into cardiac arrest so please don't let him do that!"
"(Abarai, Rukia says your heart will stop working if you do that. Yes, it sounds fake to me, too. I am just the messenger.)"
"I would hang up on you, except that then Renji would definitely die. Look, is there shelter nearby? Somewhere you can get him inside?"
"No. Can I just pick him up and flash step him back to town?"
"No, that would also cause his heart to stop. (Captain Hitsugaya, can we send a message down to-- oh, you already have? Oh, great, thank you!) Captain Hitsugaya has already called the Fourth. They're sending a medic to you, but it'll probably be at least an hour. In the meantime, you need get him dry and start to warm him up. Do you have any spare clothes?"
"Why would we have spare clothes?"
"I don't know! Sometimes people carry spare capes! They come in handy! Can you give him your haori?"
"Of course not, he hasn't passed the Captains' Examination."
"Okay, well, make him take his wet clothes off, and you figure out which parts of your outfit you can spare. Don't tell me. I don't want to know."
"Oh, I see. Hmm. Wait, Rukia. Before I disrobe, I read a book once, where someone was in a cold climate and they were freezing to death, and they killed a bear--"
"Do not put Renji inside the dead Hollow, Byakuya. I mean it."
"Hollows disintegrate when they die, Rukia, and even if they didn't, he left it at the bottom of the lake. (You did kill it, right? All right, good.) Ahem. I was just thinking that I could find a bear--"
"You do not have time to find and kill a bear, Brother."
"Hmm. Very well. (Abarai, take off your pants. Rukia says so.)"
(various mumbling and other noises)
"All right. I have returned. Abarai is wrapped up in both our cloaks."
"Wait, you had a cloak this whole time?"
"Of course I had a cloak. We went to the mountains of North Rukongai. Of course we dressed appropriately. Abarai even had the presence of mind to remove his before jumping in the lake. (Yes, I know it was so you could swim better. Do you wish to take this phone call?)"
"You could have--you know what? Never mind. Okay, do you have any field rations with you? Getting some warm food or liquid in him would be very helpful. Even if you can just warm some water with kidou and give it to him, that would be good."
"We did not bring any provisions. We were only supposed to come out here for an afternoon and we did not expect to have to leave town. (No, Abarai, I do not think you should drink that lake water. Well, a Hollow died in it, for one thing.)"
"Brother, do me a favor. Go touch his skin and tell me what it feels like."
"His skin?"
"Yes, I want to know if it's cold."
"Does it matter where?"
"Not really, I guess."
"(Abarai, stick your arm out of the cloak. Look, this is very unpleasant for both of us!) I am touching his arm. I would say it is approximately 30C."
"How can you-- never mind. I don't want to know. Is he shivering? Are his teeth chattering?"
"Less so than before, on both counts. That is good, right? That means he is warming up?"
"No, it means his body is shutting down. Is he still talking to you? Is he lucid?"
"He is still talking, a thing that I assume he would keep doing even after all other vital signs have ceased. I will check the state of his reason. (Abarai, who was the captain of Sixth Squadron during the Hellish Dangai Incursion of 892? No, it's not a trick question. All right, it's a little bit of a trick question…That's a really questionable interpretation of events, Abarai. No, I do not think there are any historians that would agree with you.) Rukia, I will be honest. He is not at his best."
"If he's talking and making sense, that's…something at least. But he's not in good shape and you've got to do something to help him warm up until the medic gets there."
"'Sense' is really debatable, Rukia."
"I think you're going to have to do the kaidou, Brother."
"My understanding is that the body temperature stabilization kidou should only be performed in a sheltered location by a trained Squad 4 medic."
"Yeah, that's the clinical one, and you are correct. You need to do the emergency one. It's not as good generally, but it's less tricky. It should help, though! Zabimaru runs hot, so if you can just give them a jumpstart, Renji will probably stabilize by himself."
"(Oh, is that so?) Abarai says you cast this on him 'all the time.' Why didn't you bring this up earlier? And why are you freezing my lieutenant 'all the time'?"
"He likes it. And I assumed you would refuse!"
"Why would I refuse? Which kaidou is it again?"
"Did you really sleep through the decadal first aid refresher? It's number 17!"
"Number 17…that's the one where…oh."
"Can you do it, Brother?"
"..."
"Brother?"
"When you say you do this to him 'all the time', is it because you are truly giving him hypothermia constantly, or is it just a ploy to…you know?"
"..."
"Rukia?"
"Must it be one or the other, Brother?!"
"Well, I was just wondering if the full body contact was truly compulsory, or if maybe I could just…do it from a respectful distance."
"You have to hug him, Brother."
"..."
"It's not so bad, Brother! You nearly cut off an arm and a leg to save me once!"
"...what if I were to sit next to him, so that our sides were touching? I…I could probably even put my arm around him."
"A side-hug is not going to cut it! The whole trick of the thing is getting your saketsu and hakusui close enough to his! You can hug him from behind, if that makes things better."
"I think that might actually be worse, Rukia."
"You're just going to have to hug him normally, then. Renji gives very good hugs! I tell you it won't be so bad! Just do it!"
"I am only doing this for you, Rukia."
"I appreciate it, Brother."
"(All right, Abarai. Brace yourself. As unpleasant as it is, I am going to have to--no, I will not 'bring it in!' Why must you make this worse than it already is?)"
(unintelligible)
"Brother? Brother, are you still there?"
"I am still here. I am doing it. I am hugging him. This is terrible."
"Are you doing the kaidou?"
"...right. The kaidou. I am now doing the kaidou. Ahem."
"Hi, Rukia, can you hear me? He's got the phone kinda close to my face and I can hear you!"
"Renji, is that you?!"
"It's me! He's hugging me, Rukia! This is so weird!"
"We can memory wipe both of you later, probably."
"No, I mean, he's really bad at it! This is the worst hug I have ever gotten!"
"Shut up, Abarai."
"I think you need to relax a little, Captain. Loosen up those arms."
"I do not want pointers, Abarai."
"Well, I'm having--a little trouble--breathing."
"Oh. I see. Yes, sorry."
"Not to interrupt all the fun you two are having, but does it seem to be working?"
"I have no idea. Abarai, is it working?"
"It's pretty different than when you do it, Rukia, but I think it is. Can I have a real hug when I get home?"
"You can have as many hugs as you want when you get home."
"Ahem."
"I am trying to keep him thinking positive, Brother! You can also have as many hugs as you want when you get home! It sounds like you need some practice."
"..."
"Or if you'd rather just have a stiff drink, I'm sure that can also be arranged."
"As you say, Rukia: why not both?"
"Sounds good to me, Brother!"
~end
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andythelemon · 6 months
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1000 years, 0 brain cells...
Print for ANYC and 2024 cons! I had lots of fun drawing the idiot gang again, I wish I could've added more of my faves. STORE
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elyonholic · 24 days
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New illustrations for BLEACH Tybw
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deathberi · 9 months
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HAPPY BLEACH ANNIVERSARY!!
2001年8月7日〜2016年8月22日
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shishizencho · 5 months
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"I like Bleach for the plot."
the plot:
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rukiadriedhisrain · 1 month
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Pierrot 45th anniversary illustration POP UP SHOP
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seneon · 16 days
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"fuck your boyfriend, he a bitch." boyfriend referring to your 6 year old stinky plushie that you sleep with which hasn't been washed in months. probably even years. he's just jealous because your "male" plushie gets to be cuddled by you and not him. he calls your cute little plushie 'a bitch' because he absolutely despises the unalive creature. everytime he sees you holding the toy, he'd say "i think it's time you switch." switch what? switch the plush with him.
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reo, dot, renji, otoya, denji, orter, grimmjow, ikkaku, kaldo, yoshida, wirth, kishibe, slursagi, rin, sae, additionally the uchiha + senju clan boys.
© SENEON 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate.
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m-ayo-o · 4 months
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18+ quickies
Thinking about... being a sucker for quickies.
Yes, you like taking it deep and long and hard, but being bent over the washing machine? Getting his dick wet on the sofa? Dragging him to the bathroom in your favourite restaurant?
Nothing gets your blood pumping more than the quick minutes it takes to get yourselves off. He knows to squeeze your supple tits, pinch your nipples then tweak at your little clit while your hands grab onto the bathroom counter, desperately trying to ground yourself.
(you were brushing your teeth in your nightie and he caught a glimpse of your ass)
And you know that when you're ready, you'll turn to him, slip yourself up onto the counter and invite him in, with one foot trailing up his body. You know that'll make him hold you and take you fast, the warmth and grip of your pussy getting him close in minutes. And with the way he's thrusting you know it won't be long...
You grab onto his shoulders and he picks you up with a desperate grunt, a needy kiss then rams you against the wall.
He's not fucking you like his delicate little princess today. No, today, you're getting sweaty, uncontrollable, and messy. He needs it, though. You need it. And you open your mouth and tell him just that
"I need you- I need you--"
And just like that it's all over. His body comes crashing down over yours with nothing less than a whine. He sucks the soft skin on your neck and pumps you full.
You drip over him. He sets you back on the counter and glides you off. It's such a mess.
He's a mess. For you.
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satoru GOJO satoru gojo satoru gojo. toji FUSHIGURO (if u haven't f*cked in a while or he just feels like it). yuji ITADORI. renji ABARAI + your fave
thinking...
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paithology · 3 months
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𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙎𝙀𝙓 ☆ ݁ ⋆
- What it's like to wake up next to your loving boyfriend.
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Content warnings: Overstimulation, breeding, cnc
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Men who appreciate every day they get to wake up to your gorgeous face and just love sharing a bed with you overall. Making sure your pussy is easily accessible to him at all times.
Every morning, the only thought that plagues his mind is your tank top stuck to your skin, exposing your nipples, the flush of your ass against your lacy panties, and the desperate look on your face when you wake up. It gives him a throbbing urge to sink his cock into your pussy.
He’d start with his hands wandering everywhere. from his arms wrapped around your waist to gripping your ass and rubbing you through your panties. 
Pulling them to the side to reveal your wet pussy. The feeling of his cock teasing your folds before he slides his cock in makes you whimper.
He can’t help but groan when your juices flow out as he pushes inside of you. You're just so wet. He loves fucking you from the side because it only makes his thrust deeper, hitting your spot every time.
He tries to silence your cries by shoving his tongue down your throat as you babble and whine about how you can't take much more. Your eyes are filling with pleasurable tears, and your mouth is welling with drool from overstimulation from the way the head of his cock hits your sweet spot nonstop.
He rubs small circles onto your clit, ass swaying from the sheer force of his hips. He begins to get so lost in the feeling of your pussy that he fucks you till he can’t stop. Fucking you through your orgasm His head is in the crook of your neck as he groans at the feeling of you clenching down on his overly sensitive tip.
After what feels like hours, you're reaching back to grip his hair, eyes rolled back. Just begging for him to fill you up again.
Suguru Geto , Choso Kamo, Yuta Okkotsu, Aki Hayakawa, Renji Abarai, Reno Sinclar
Work of: Paige, do not copy.
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gallusrostromegalus · 29 days
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You can lay blame for this second ask at @hoifne 's feet, I saw their comment on the post and had to:
How did folks react to the moon landing?
"You're ready? No Big Regrets?" Renji asks. He always asks. He'd done hundreds of Konso rituals now that he was doing his mandatory tour of duty in the living world, but he never wants them to feel 'routine', so he talks to the ghosts. Hypes them up a bit for the afterlife, tries to keep his heart in it.
Especially when it's a kid.
"Well, it's not really a big deal..." The ghost Suichi considers. He was maybe ten or eleven years old. Thick prescription glasses, face round with puppy fat, very loved. Love won't stop a freak electrical accident though. Young Suichi is handling his sudden departure really well, all things considered, so maybe love does stop despair. "-but its a bit of a shame that if there's no TV in the afterlife, I won't be able to watch the moon landing."
"Yeah, we're a bit behind the times, but I'm sure one of the mad geniuses in the 12th will invent one sooner than late-" Renji grins ruffling the boy's hair before the rest of the sentence registers. "-The What Landing?"
"The Moon Landing!" Suichi lights up with excitement. "They just launched the rocket yesterday! But in just three days, man will walk on the moon!"
"...The Moon?" Renji blinks, bewildered.
"Yeah!"
Renji points up over his shoulder into the sky, gripping the boy's shoulder, eyes wide. "THE MOON IN THE FUCKING SKY?"
---
The lights of the Fifth division offices reflect blankly off of Captain Aizen's glasses as he attempts to process the news. He is entirely still, save for his eyebrows which are writhing like overcaffienated caterpillars, unable to settle on an emotion to convey.
"The Moon?" Lieutenant Ichimaru squints at Renji even harder than usual, pointing up out the window behind him. "The Moon in the fucking sky?"
"Yeah!" Renji spread his hands. "I didn't believe it either but the humans have managed to work out some neat trick with the way the world turns to like, throw the spaceship like a slingshot..?" he tried to explain.
"So, so there's three guys in a boat-" Captain Aizen tried again, reaching up under his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.
"It's really more like a sealed metal tube, but they call it a Space Ship because it does sorta sail through space..." Renji tried to explain, holding up the newspaper from the living world he'd brought back to substantiate his claims and also provide helpful images to explain what was happening.
"So there's three guys in a metal tube and they... threw it into the sky so hard that instead of falling it started flying instead?" Aizen tried. "How do they even throw something that hard without Kido?"
"So the men are up in this little itty bitty bit at the top that looks like a cap on a vaccine needle-" Renji pointed at the image of the Apollo 11 rocket. "-All the rest of this is the uh. enormous amount of extremely coordinated high explosives they used to launch it. The. The whole thing is like... It's a little over three hundred fifty shaku and only 12 shaku of that is where the humans are. The rest is um. Air they smooshed so hard it became liquid and then they set that on fire and look at the picture you can see the kaboom!" Renji tried to explain, pushing the paper across Aizen's desk for his captain to read.
Aizen certainly pointed his face at the image and accompanying article, but 'read' may have been a bit beyond him at the moment.
"Oh, is that all it took?" Ichimaru hummed with interest. "Well fuck, why haven't we done that?"
"Oh yes, how very silly that the humans have beaten us at the trifling matter of FLINGING OURSELVES INTO SPACE, WHAT THE *HELL* ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ICHIMARU??" Aizen objected.
"Well like. Idea's sound. Moon goes around the earth, so a smaller thing should too. And we can absolutely make a sealed metal container and kaboom bigger than that." Gin shrugged, as though this were plainly obvious. "Betchya the clown that runs the twelfth has the stuff laying around- we got a meeting with him later today anyway, why not ask?"
"Oh sure, that's a great Idea!" Aizen beamed. "Why hello Kurotsuchi-taicho, curious news from the human world- do you think you could spare a few parts and several tons of explosives to send some guys for a stroll on the moon?"
There was a moment of silence where Renji and Gin shared an awkward glance (or at least, Renji gave meaningful look to the narrow slits where his lieutenant-commander's eyes theoretically were).
"...he'd agree to that in a heartbeat, if he hasn't started work on his own Spaceboat already." Aizen groaned.
---
"No." Grunted Mayuri.
"No? Why not?" Aizen asked, head cocked to the side like a confused spaniel.
"Look, what the old man doesn't know about budget expenditures won't hurt him!" Gin smiled encouragingly. "Think of all the scientific data you'd get to research!"
"What the old man finds out about budget expenditures after the fact can and will hurt me." Mayuri growled. "It's not cookie money, kitting an expedition to the living world to engineer a spaceship with atomic matter instead of Reishi- No, much more efficient to let the humans do it for us and poach the date from them."
"...Why would we need to go to the Living world?" Aizen blinked, confused. "I can see the moon from the window right here?" Aizen pointed out the window of Kurotsuchi's office.
"What? That moon? You can't go to that moon!" The clownish chemical engineer cackled."
Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him blankly.
"Is. Is the moon here different than the one in the living world?" Aizen asked, bewildered.
"Different? It doesn't exist!" Mayuri laughed, waving his hand at them.
Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him, then leaned back in their seats, looking out the window at the moon, which still looked as physical and present as it ever did.
"...Oh don't tell me you didn't know." Mayuri frowned, pouting. "No, spirit world doesn't have a moon. The thing up in the sky is a Tulpa- there's a "moon" because everyone who comes to spirit world thinks there should be one, and there's so much ambient spiritual energy even weak souls can exert some force on the nature of reality and when millions of them are all certain there should be a moon, a moon manifests. Or at least, a thing that looks like a moon. Doesn't act like one, changes size and skips around it's phases all the time and if it really were a round object in space, that's NOT what a crescent moon would look like."
Aizen and Ichimaru looked back out the window at the "Moon", whose crescent arced a full three quarters of the alleged satellite's circumference.
"Seriously? this is some really basic stuff." Mayuri glared at them in disappointment. "You never noticed that the moon is always visible out any random window at night, no matter what time it is? It doesn't even go east-to-west more than half the time!"
"But. But we have a lunar calendar..?" Aizen muttered, an edge of genuine distress in his voice.
"Oh yeah, the moon *used* to be regular as clockwork- everyone literally set their watches to it." Mayuri shrugged. "Then sometime about eh, two and a half, three thousand years ago? Right around the same time the first captain-class spirits started appearing, the moon started doing this 'Full Moon Thrice A Month If it Feels Like It' and 'Visible At Improbable Angles' nonsense."
Aizen's eyes were wide and Gin's very nearly open with alarm.
"That's uh- that's terrifying?" Aizen sputtered, now outright frightened.
"Yeah, anybody know what coulda caused that?" Gin muttered.
"The going theory is that the precipitation of a new class of spiritually hyperpotent souls like us has caused disproportionate tugs on the desired appearence of the the "Moon", but that's only a theory- my predecessor's predecessor once attempted to send a camera to the 'Moon' for a closer look, but it never actually *got* any closer." Mayuri explained, casually inspecting his fingernails- he seemed to be growing out the middle one for some godforsaken reason. "-Your theoretical starboat would likely far worse."
"...Okay but that's worse. You understand how that's worse, right?" Aizen demanded and Mayuri waved him off.
"No, no hit makes sense-" Gin nodded, and Aizen glared at his lieutenant. "Think about it! There's what, three and a half billion human on earth? Millions die every day, but only a couple hundred ever turn up every day at the intake queue in the 7th, and nearly everyone is from just the one part of Japan. We're one afterlife of many- ugh, could you imagine if the missionaries were sent here?- anyway, our world is nowhere NEAR as big at the Living World, so the moon-moon is just a geographical feature in the living world, and there's only a couple million people living here. We got disproportionate swing, so we pull on the collective conciousness more. It's fine!"
"That's AWFUL!" Aizen shouted, dismayed.
"I mean I think we all understand God is an Asshole, but what are you gonna do about it?" Mayuri shrugged before tapping on the crate beside his desk. "-Anyway, do you want these Polio Vaccines for the rukongai outreach program our not?"
"I- yes. Please." Aizen muttered.
"Good man, sign here." Mayuri tapped the sheet on his desk. As Aizen tried to read over the provisions release paperwork, the small "Electronic Mailer" on Mayuri's desk pinged. "Oh, the word got out- Kyoraku-taicho wants to hold another moon-viewing party for the occasion. Do me a favor and attend so you can explain to him why we can't go to our 'moon' for me? I don't want to go, and I really don't want to explain it to him through a hangover either."
"If you don't wanna go Boss I'll stand in for you. Promises to be a real riot." Gin grinned.
"Yes, you have your young friend, don't you? Miss Matsumoto?" Aizen smiled fondly at his second-in-command.
"Oh, she probably already got her invite- she an' Miss Nan- er, lieutenant Ise are real pals from the academy." Gin laughed. "Nah, I was gonna drag old blind bones along."
"...Captain Tousen?" Aizen asked, befuddled. "Whatever for?"
"Stars ain't exactly braille, y'know?" Gin explained, wiggling his fingers. "He knows even less than we do an' I wanna watch Rangiku and Kyoraku try'n 'splain the whole thing to him." Gin grinned.
"Sounds lovely! Take your shit and get out of my office." Mayuri threatened.
---
Renji exhaled, still bewildered, laying on his back on the grassy hill just outside the 2nd division training grounds, staring up at the moon as it rose opposite the sunset behind him. Or, maybe not? There had been some lecture about how the moon in spirit world wasn't a moon back at the academy that he didn't really remember-
"You sound like you're in the throes of a moral conundrum Red." Shuuhei teased, looking up from the strange contraption he was setting up.
"Huh?" Renji blinked. "Oh, no I'm just- Those guys in the Spaceship gotta be somethin' else, going to die thousands of miles from home."
"What? The Astronauts? They'll be fine! -Probably." Shuuhei laughed. "They're definitely insane, getting in that contraption at all, but they still gotta come home with all the rocks and whatever they get from the moon for the lab techs to look at."
"...How the hell are they getting back?" Renji frowned, rolling up onto his elbow to frown at his senpai. "I thought they blew up all the rocket getting off the planet?"
"They got a bitty rocket in the lunar landing craft that will get them between their ship and the lunar surface, and then they will angle the ship a bit and the moon will fling them back to earth the way earth flung them at the moon." Shuuei explained, not looking up from the weird bass-drum looking object he was messing with.
Renji opened his mouth, realized his friend probably understood it way better than he did, closed his mouth, shrugged, and changed topics. "So what is that thing you had me haul up here?"
"It's uhhh... Experimental. Haven't got a name for it yet." Shuuhei muttered, placing a level on top of it and frowning at the bubble before adjusting the legs bolted awkwardly to the side of the drum. "-But with all this excitement about the Lunar Landing, I realized Tousen-Taicho is... I mean he gets left out of a lotta stuff, y'know? But it's not like he can see the stars, or the spirit-moon, and I don't think he really understands orbital mechanics-"
"I sure fuckin' don't." Renji muttered.
"Yeah, because you're the kind of moron who put a ham sandwich in a VCR-" Shuuhei rolled his eyes.
"That was ONE TIME, and Matsumoto Senpai told me it was a Panini Press!" Renji sulked.
"-and then pressed "Fast Forward", but Tousen is actually smart as hell- I'm the one who can't explain it without gestures he can't see." Shuuhei continued. "...but I can use a camera obscura and reiryoku-sensitive film to sort of take an old exposure image of the night sky. I'm hoping that if I treat the exposed film right, that the light and dark parts will turn into different textures for him to read, like a braille sky."
"Oh." Renji muttered. "That's really nice of you actually."
"I mean, we'll see if it works." Shuuhei shugged, examining the level again. "Hand me the allen wrenches- What about your boss?"
"Captain Aizen? Uh- honestly? He seems a little freaked out by all this and I saw him fuckin' slam the newspaper into his wastebasket when he got back from the twelth." Renji winced. "He's weird like that. Sweet as cake most of the time but then there's these weird flashes of anger... and I'm not sure how much longer he's gonna be my boss."
"As in you got ambitions, or you think he's gonna get fired?" Shuuhei asked, staring at the level again.
"As in 'Tetsuzaemon Iba got in another brawl with his mother about him only being fourth seat when she made captain, and Liuetenant Madarame asked me if I'd updated my resume recently." Renji winced.
"Woof. Talk about a lateral promotion." Shuuhei winced. "Still, the pay raise would be nice. You could afford to take your girl Rukia somewhere up to her brother's standards!"
"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Renji snapped, rolling over and jumping to his feet. "-It's -I'm sorry. It's kinda complicated." Renji sighed.
Shuuhei was silent for a minute as Renji sat back down on the grass, face in his hands. After a minute of fine-tuning the drum to keep it level, he spoke up. "You're more than good enough."
"Huh?" Renji jolted. "Oh, yeah- I'd be doing all the eleventh's paperwork but there's no way it's worse than the fucking rice subsidies accounting board-"
"That's not what I meant." Shuuhei glared.
"...I know." Renji groaned. "It's just. It's complicated, okay?"
"If you say so." Shuuhei shrugged. "Alright, hand me the flat box- thanks. It'll be ready for exposure in a minute, and I want to get it done before those clouds roll in." He gestured at the distant thunderheads threatening to bloom into a summer storm on the edge of the city.
The process was quick- the shielded plate went into the gap under the drum, and the light of the night sky was reflected onto it from a pinhole in the top. Once the metal plates were pulled back, it needed a few minutes to pick up enough light, before Shuuhei pushed the metal shutters back in and locked the plate in darkness until it could be developed.
"It's for taking pictures of the stars, right?" Renji asked as Shuuhei started disassembling the camera. "You could call that plate an Astrograph."
"Hah! Futuristic. I like it!" Shuuhei grinned. "C'mon and help me with this thing before the punishment squad turns up to kick my ass for having a camera within a mile of the second."
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