incorrect-bbc-ghosts - Tumblr blog

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Mary: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*

Alison: Hey, Mary, how was your day?

Mary: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Alison* Hell.

Fanny, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

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Thomas: She was poetry, but he couldn't read.

Kitty: His name was Jared he's 19.

Robin: When his parents built a very strange machine.

Captain, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.

Mary, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena!

Fanny: Horrible job everyone.

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Robin: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Alison, used to Robin being dumb: Sure...

Robin: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Alison: Okay?

Robin: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Alison:

Robin: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Alison: Jesus, that one is a little-

Thomas, interested: No, no, Robin, keep going.

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Humphrey: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

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Alison: What's two plus two?

Mary: Math.

Alison: ...I will accept that answer.

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Julian: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Robin: All good bro, any time.

Julian: Fuck you.

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Alison, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

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Kitty: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way?

Alison: Wait, what’s the difference?

Kitty: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

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Pat: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court:

Pat: Julian, what the actual FUCK?

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Pat: You can answer almost anything with “Not since the accident.”

Julian: Actually, you can’t.

Mary: Not since the accident.

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Humphrey: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.

Captain: Humphrey, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

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Captain to Pat, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one.

Robin, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Kitty: That sounds so threatening…

Julian: The Wedding Games…

Mary: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Pat: Beautiful.

Captain: Fuck all of you!

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Thomas: Met a dumbass today. Awful.

Captain: You looked in a mirror?

Thomas: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.

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Julian: I’m never donating blood ever again.

Julian: The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another!

Julian: ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?

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Mary: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Robin: Why? It was important.

Mary: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Robin, shrugging: The people need to know.

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Alison: I can never give Pat shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Alison: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

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Kitty: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Captain: You’re too young to have enemies.

Kitty: You don’t even know.