incorrect-cleon-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Leon: Shit!

Sherry: Shit!

Leon: *shhhh* What are you doing up, little miss?

Sherry: Shit.

Leon: Nope. We don't say that. Only Claire says that word. She coined it. It belongs to her.

Sherry: Why are you up?

Leon: 'cause I got important shit going on here. What do you think?

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Hunnigan: You sure you're up to this particular murder mission?

Leon: Absolutely. Rage and Vengeance, anger loss, regret... they're all tremendous motivators. They really clear the mind. So I'm good to go.

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Leon: Do you ever drink so much coffee that you feel kind of dizzy, then the world is moving in slow motion, and then you're drifting through space and time, and then you can see everything and nothing while being lost in the void?

Claire: ...no?

Ark: *nodding in the background*

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Leon, reading a paper for work: I need a highlighter

Claire: *hands him a makeup highlighter while doing her makeup*

Leon: this is literally not what I asked for

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Claire, reading about a haunted hotel: Visitors and employees claim that doors lock themselves shut, footsteps can be heard, shadows follow you... 

Leon: Shadows do tend to follow you though. That's sort of how they work.

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Claire: are you flirting with me?

Leon: have been for the past year but thanks for noticing

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Claire: I was cleaning the house up and need to know why you had 10 coke bottles on your desk?

Leon: well, I quit drinking the Jack part of "Jack and Coke" so.

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Claire: I don't like Leon just because he's tall

Leon: *stands up and is, in fact, tall*

Claire: well shit.

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Claire: what're you looking at?

Leon, looking at Chris: An annoyance.

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Teacher: your child said a swear word in class today.

Leon: Okay, I'll talk to her about it at home.

Leon, at home: what the fuck, Sherry?

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Leon: Marriage? I don’t know, we still seem to be at the boyfriend-girlfriend stage.

Claire: WE FUCKED FOUR TIMES AND HAD A KID, LEON