incorrect-dcmk-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Gin: You’d think that killing people would make them like you. 

Gin: But it doesn’t!

Gin: It just makes them dead.

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Therapist: What’s upsetting you?

Conan: He’s always using common phrases incorrectly. 

Heiji: Cry me a table, Kudo.

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Kaito: I had NOTHING to do with it. 

Kaito: Okay, it was my idea, but I don’t feel good about it. 

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Haibara: Relax, I’m one of the good guys. 

Conan: Yeah? Well you look an awful lot like one of the bad ones. 

Haibara: An unfortunate family resemblance. 

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Hakuba: Kuroba, did you happen to hear my announcement?

Kaito: I hang on every word.

Hakuba: I'm going to assume that's sarcasm.

Kaito: Correct.

Hakuba: So you didn't hear my announcement?

Kaito: I'm barely listening now.

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Kogoro: I don't have the energy for this.

Ran: For what?

Kogoro: *gestures vaguely*

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Shinichi: My dad treats every situation in the same way.

[Scenario]

Doctor: Sir, you have been shot.

Yusaku, sarcastically: No, come on! What?!

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Kaito: One of my teachers hates me, and this is how I imagine he acts when I’m away.

[Scenario]

Teacher: Okay class, how would Kaito answer that question if he were here?

Aoko: He’d probably get it right?

Teacher: Maybe, but he would have a stupid look in his face.

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"And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids."

— Some DC murderer, to the Detective Boys

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Conan: Hey, we’re out of chocolate milk.

Kogoro: Yeah, and I’m out of patience. 

Conan: Next time you go to the store, just grab some chocolate milk.

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"I wanna fight kindergartners."

— Some DC criminal, probably

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"Man, wouldn't it be so crazy if we ran into Mouri? Oh look there he is."

— Juzo Megure, at a murder scene

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Kaito: [to Heiji and Conan] All right, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge. 

Hakuba: What?! Why do I get this...dubious-looking device?!

Kaito: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge. 

Conan: What does that make you, Kaito? Fred?

Kaito: Bitch, I’m Daphne. 

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Conan: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd!

Genta: You say "you people" like you're not part of the family. Well, I've got news for you, Conan. You're already on the Christmas card.

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Akako: I know you must be surprised to see me here.

Kaito: Not really, since you follow me everywhere.

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Vodka: We need to distract them.

Gin: Right.

Vodka: What are you gonna do?

Gin: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them.

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Haibara: Kudo, did you do something stupid?

Conan: I think we both know the answer to that.