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Qin Zheng: If you're ever loosing an argument just hit em with a "You want me"

Zetian: That literally doesn't work

Qin Zheng: You want me

Zetian: No I fucking don't

Qin Zheng: You want me so bad

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Yizhi: Zetian doesn't use turn signals when she's driving because it's "no one buisness" which way she's going

Shimin: That explains why we almost crashed yesterday

Yizhi: Oh no, that was because she was too short to hit the brake

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Di Renjie: They should have leftist infighting as an event at the next Olympics.

Qin Zheng: No the fuck they shouldn't and it's liberals like you that are tearing us apart.

Di Renjie: Holy shit, a gold medalist.

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Sima Yi: If a lion kills a deer and eats it, is the lion evil?

Qin Zheng: The deer is evil for being weak.

Sima Yi: ...Really.

Zetian: They are both evil for being alive.

Sima Yi:

Sima Yi, whispering towards Yizhi: We are all going to die.

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Shimin: I have a bad feeling about this...

Zetian: What do you mean?

Shimin: Don't you ever get a little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get in trouble?

Zetian: No?

Shimin: That actually explains so much

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DID YOU KNOW WE GOT A COMMUNITY HERE?

The Huaxia Pilots is the perfect place to talk about Iron Widow, Heavenly Tyrant and other Xiran Jay Zhao related stuff! You can share your memes, creations and ideas/theories there too!

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Wan'er: I hope you don’t do anything foolish.

Zetian: I hope you’re not hoping too hard.

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Yizhi: hey Shimin wanna bang?

Yizhi: hang* stupid autocorrect

Shimin: Yizhi, we're having a verbal conversation

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Mi Xuan: You want to grow up to be a gentleman, don’t you?

10 year old Qin Zheng: Not particularly, no.

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Qin Zheng, after their coup: what is your biggest weakness?

Zetian: i can be uncooperative.

Qin Zheng: okay, give me an example.

Zetian: no.

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It's the way that the character is so well made that in a sea of thousands of funny tumblr posts to inspire us, author and fandom end up making the same meme to make fun of him.... that's just beautiful. 😭

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Zetian: Don't worry. I have a few knives up my sleeves.

Helan: I think you mean cards?

Qin Zheng: She does not.

Zetian, stabbing Qin Zheng in the chest: I do not.

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[Zetian and Yizhi are kissing]

Shimin, drunk: [moves Zetian away from Yizhi so he can kiss Yizhi]

Yizhi, also drunk: [kisses Shimin like he was kissing Zetian]

Shimin, finally opening his eyes: WOAH, WHAT THE FUCK? I thought I was kissing Zetian!

Zetian also drunk, now laying on the ground: I thought so too.

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Yizhi: Oh my gods, Zetian. You're losing blood!

Zetian: No. I know exactly where my blood is.

Yizhi: What do you-

Zetian: The floor.

Yizhi:

Zetian: Don't underestimate me.

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Shimin: you know, it's conforting

Zetian: what's that?

Shimin: i died for a year, came back, and you're still not funny

Zetian: shut up. i'm hilarious

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